Healing Your Body By Observing

Have you ever stopped and when you did, things looked differently?  It is the same in the body.  When we stop and observe the body, we allow healing to take place in ways we can hardly imagine.

Just that moment of observing what is going on in the body can give you an experience of healing.  It can be more simple than you think, but more profound with possibilities than we are consciously aware of in our life.

Often in our day, we are unconscious and while that helps us get through the day, we need to take moments of pause, or we begin to lose touch with reality in our life.  We lose our internal awareness because of the daily build up of stress or traumatic moments.

To read more, check out a recently published article on Somatosync.com called Healing By Observing Your Body.  It has some simple exercises to help get you in touch with your body through the mind body connection.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/15/15 by Don Shetterly

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People Who Have All The Answers

Too many people think they know more than they do.  Well at least that is an opinion I sometimes hold.  I often ask people their views and I try to listen to what they say, but boy, oh boy, what you get along with that is - well, entertaining.

Growing up in my house you had to listen to several people screaming at the top of their lungs that they knew everything.  I can remember learning to drive and having my Dad, my mom and my older brother all trying to tell me what to do.  It was a nightmare.

When I finally drove by myself for the first time, I pulled into a parking lot waiting for someone to tell me where to park.  It finally dawned on me that I was alone in the car and had to make that decision.  People were sure honking at me as I tried to figure that out too! 

People mean well, but sometimes they act like they know everything.  They claim many things, but if I read between the lines, I can see the hurt if I don't accept what they are saying.  I can see so much between the lines.

It is one thing to listen to what others see and know, but at the end of the day, each of us has to make our own choices and decisions.  If we are following what other people say, then we are missing out on who we are.  We aren't giving ourselves full credit.

I doubt any of us are ever going to stop someone from being more than pushy with opinions and thoughts.  I doubt we'll move the marker with them on how to calm it down a bit.  Its just a fact of life.

If you're a sensitive person like I am, you can sometimes get hurt pretty easily.  Sometimes I put my walls up just to insulate myself and sometimes I run away almost screaming hysterically.

We all need to watch how we interact with other people.  Sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen, not necessarily force our views and opinions on other people.  Sometimes other people so badly need us to be there with the full force of our two ears and be nothing else.

Being a know it all isn't always the one that everyone wants to be around in life.  Sometimes everyone says, "I wish they would tone it down or just stop".  Even if these things get said to some people, it just never seems to sink in.

Even online, there are those that read something and immediately think they have to tell you what you should do.  I had one of those recent moments and I was not even talking about an issue.  It was a post about things I was learning.  This person came at me like I didn't know what I was doing.  Politely  and assertively, I shared with them that they had the picture wrong.  It wasn't about me.  It was about their issue that my post triggered.  Sometimes we don't know when we've been triggered because we are so numb.

The more we can learn to listen to one another, the more we will truly be there for others.  We have all kinds in this world and that's great because this world would be pretty dull otherwise.  The only thing is we need to check in with ourselves and see how we are impacting those around us.  Don't just assume you are fine because you think you are.  Check the reflection in the mirror and it will help you grow closer to people, not further away.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/10/15 by Don Shetterly

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Abundance In The Little Things

All too often, we look for the grandiose in life.  We think that if we aren't getting free boats parked out in our front yard that were somehow not getting abundance.  Okay, maybe everyone doesn't think that way, but it sure seems like it if you start reading some of these new age media outlets.

Abundance can be found in the little things.  In fact, if you don't see abundance in little things, I think you're missing something quite big.  For its the little things that can sometimes rock your world so much, everything shifts.

After I was paralyzed by the Conversion Disorder, I spent considerable time sitting outside in a wooded area.  I began to listen to the birds, feel the sunshine on my face, or just be soothed by a gentle breeze.  It was these little things that mattered most at that moment.  It was abundance in the little things.

Sometimes we spend our lives looking for something so big, that we miss those small moments.  Sometimes we are so focused on accumulating money or stuff that we miss the sustaining moments that help get us through our day and elevate us to new heights in life.

Don't dismiss the little things.  Don't think your life is not abundant.  Instead see everything around you.  Stop and notice it.  Stop and observe it.  Stop and take it in.  There is much more than we often see, but that does not mean we are not abundant.

Enjoy the abundance in the little things for that is one of the greatest joys and beauties in life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/18/15 by Don Shetterly

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Surrender Into Healing

I'm learning so much lately working with some clients.  While I can't give away specifics, I can say that learning to surrender into that area which is not letting go, is exactly where I need to be.  I coach my clients through this, but I have to remember to surrender myself.

It is easy for us to go in and hold and hang on to all that we have carried around for so long in our life.  It is not easy to let go.  In fact, it usually feels like we have to continue fighting through what we are facing.  In reality, we need to let go of it.

I can remember some time ago, I was struggling with an issue and the person helping me asked me if "Could I let go".  At first, I was like, of course I can let go.  Then as I sat there thinking - no, I really cannot let go.  What happens if I let go,  What will my life be.  What will happen.  What will replace it.

Our fears about surrendering into our higher good generally look like big giants before us.  Like David and Goliath, the giant was much bigger than everyone thought.  With one little stone, he brought the giant down.  He brought fear down.

Working with other people, when I get into this moment of not being certain how things are going to transform, it is then that I have to surrender.  It is then that I have to allow things to be where they are and be okay with that.

Today, I am all that I can be and I will be content to be all that I can be in this moment.  That is the key and solution.  It sounds so simple, but it is so true.  When we hang on or fight against the currently, we're only exhausting ourselves.

I saw this so vivid today with a client and the minute I shifted my thinking, they shifted completely today.  It was beautiful and it touched my heart deeply with joy.

Let us be okay with all that we are in this moment.  Let us recognize, we are only so much at this moment.  It doesn't mean we can't grown and evolve.  It just means we recognize where we are while we are searching for a forward path.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/15/15 by Don Shetterly

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The Crutches Don't Heal You

Writing this blog post, I realize that most likely we all know what it is I am saying.  However, it is worth repeating because too often we don't see healing in the best possible way.  We tend to look at the crutches as if this is what heals our broken leg.  The crutches are there to help, but they don't heal you.

Now, I'm really not talking about broken legs and crutches.  These are just the metaphors that I'm using to illustrate the point that the crutches don't heal you.  What you do and allow and surrender to is what heals you.

Crutches can be a label for your condition, a medication you are taking or a procedure that you are going through.  Crutches can be a belief system that does not advance your healing.  Crutches can be a new age alternative approach that is more feeling and belief than results.  Crutches are anything that keeps you thinking that whatever it is will make you better when in fact, it is taking you away from feeling in your body.

We go to doctors and healers and we take medications and supplements.  We participate in various activities and practices that are designed to take us out of our suffering and pain.  While many of these things are good and grounded in reality, there are plenty that are not.  Today is not a discussion about that part of the healing process.

The thing we do as humans is we tend to think the doctor, the healer, the medication or the supplement have the answers to end our suffering.  We think if we take part in this practice or activity, it heals us.  Unfortunately, it is not any one of these things that heal us.

Now, you may be saying, but when I went and did this thing or went to that person, I got better.  Yes, you did!  I'm not disputing that.  However, it was not the person, thing, or practice that did the healing.   They just helped you find that healing in yourself.  Again, some do a much better job of this than others.

Healing comes from source energy and it comes from within us.  There may be people along the way that help lift us from despair and find a different world.  If we use these people and see them as a crutch that does the healing, then we have not learned that crutches don't heal you.  Crutches help you find the healing.

I know in the early days, it may be our complete capacity to just surrender into the person, thing, or procedure, not even beginning to see that we can heal, let alone heal ourselves.  As we progress, we should begin to see that we have much more within us.  We should be able to see that our crutches are there to support the healing, not be the healing.

There are some groups and individuals out there that are truly supportive and do help people to heal, but there are many that offer you services and products that take you away from the power you have inside.  They take you out of your body and place that power upon someone or something.  In those cases, the crutches have taken over your life.

I do realize that if you have faced insurmountable odds throughout your life, that seeing yourself as holding any power to change anything is often too great.  It takes the crutches to help you support your life enough to being seeing this.

Just don't continue to believe that the crutches are what heals you.  Learn to find that place within yourself that brings you to the point of power and sensing your innermost self.  It is in that place, where you will find true healing.  The healing power comes from within your ability to feel your internal body.  Feeling is healing and healing is feeling.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/18/15 by Don Shetterly

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Massage Music Video

Maybe its been a stressful week with all the Christmas activities and family you've had to be around.  Maybe its been stressful because Christmas is not an easy time for you.  I'm with you on that for sure.

Regardless, I thought a massage music video with some beautiful images of South Florida may be just what the doctor ordered!  Give it a look and see if it just helps give you a moment of calmness and stillness.

This video is set to the song, Massage Music, that I created and it is one of my favorites.  Enjoy it and if you like it, please share it and pass it on.  Let others experience a moment of peace and calmness.

YouTube Link:  Massage Music

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/15/15 by Don Shetterly

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Let Peace Begin With Me

On this day, let it not just be a celebration of all the gifts we have received.  All too often, we spend so much money to find that perfect gift, when the day is really about so much more.  It is too easy to lose site of this day.

Instead, maybe we can focus for a moment on a thought about Christmas.  Let peace begin with me.  I don't mean we should ask others to have peace or expect them to be peaceful.  I don't mean we should think that if others are peaceful, then we can be peaceful.  I am saying this to each one of us individually.

Let peace begin with me.  Let it begin within each one of us so that by all of us focusing on peace in our lives, we will impact the planet in big ways.  These days more than ever, we need to have peace within our life so that we can share it with others.

We won't find peace in the presents or the gifts we receive.  We won't find peace in the moments where we are wrapped up in the political news storm of the day.  We won't find peace when we look for it in moments that do not offer it.  We won't find peace in listening to those that constantly scream at the top of their lungs for attention in our world.

Peace must begin within each one of us if we are to offer peace to the world.  It is something that we need to develop in ourselves and then see if we can put more peace in our lives.

Our actions individually impact the world in great ways.  So on Christmas Day, in the moment you are reading this, reflect upon how you can let peace begin with you or me or whoever you are.  By doing this, we may just be impacting the entire world.  If you feel you have already reached this point, then I adamantly urge you to go further!  The world needs it.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/15/15 by Don Shetterly

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Christmas Piano Music played by Don Shetterly

I never get tired of seeing this video.  I still love this music even though I've played it a million times and heard it a million times.  Okay, maybe a million is an exaggerated number, but I so love these songs.

Take a minute to listen to Christmas Piano Music played by Don Shetterly



The three songs on this YouTube Video are

• The First Noel (Nowell)
• Angels From The Realms Of Glory
• Away In A Manger

I have had people ask me how I put these songs together in the form I do.  When I play songs like this, I just automatically shift between the songs.  It is something that came natural to me when I used to play for church growing up as a kid.  It is very hard to explain, but somehow I just automatically transition from one song to the next.  I love doing this and making it flow because it offers such beautiful arrangements and possibilities.

YouTube Link:  Christmas Piano Music

Do me a favor if you enjoyed this and pass it on!  It will be much appreciated.


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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/15/15 by Don Shetterly

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Seeing From A Different Perspective

When I was going through a recent upheaval in life, I thought it was the end of the world.  I wasn't sure how I would get through it.  It felt bigger than me.  It felt like it would never end and I would not make it.  We all have those difficult moments in life.

The surprising thing is, I did make it.  In fact, I'm making it very well now.  There is so much that is happening and doors are opening.  I'm seeing things in an entirely new way and meeting people that are anxious to help me.  It is a complete turnaround from what it was about 3 months ago.

Often we go through experiences and we think they are the worst thing that can happen.  Yet, when we get through them, they look different than they did when we were in the middle of them.  It not only shows us our resilience, but it proves that there is much more at play than what we can sometimes see.

A couple of events happened when I began to step out of this situation which caused me to take further action and make decisions I was not expecting.  As I did those, I had no idea how they would impact my days ahead.  Now I can see that it helped shove me out of the nest.  It pushed me into the direction that I am now going.

Do I still deal with the emotional toll this previous situation was taking on me?  Yes, I do.  However, I'm letting it go more and more and as I do, I'm learning so much more.  I'm seeing so many opportunities that I could not see.  I am impacting the lives of other people in ways I never thought would happen.

Sometimes we go through those difficult moments in life because they are meant for us to take action.  Sometimes we go through those moments because they help us learn.  Yes, I know that if you're in the middle of a horrible situation, you're probably thinking I am nuts.  I've been there.  I truly know how you feel.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get there.  Everything will work out and I believe it will work out in the way that it is supposed to be.  It might be tough to see it now, but when you get to the other side, take a moment to look back and see it from a different perspective.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/15/15 by Don Shetterly

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A Mother's Promise To Help After Son's Suicide

Tommy Crawford was a free-spirited boy who didn’t let things bother him — or so it seemed. The business major loved to make people laugh, and always liked to have fun. Nobody who knew him had any clue about the demons that made Tommy take his own life. They still don’t understand it.

One year earlier, Tommy was the one who first received the news that his biological dad had shot himself. Tommy was upset, but didn’t want to talk about it, burying the hurt deep down inside. Exactly one year later, on November 8, 2012, Tommy went out and got drunk. That night he was playing video games with friends, when he told them there was something that he needed to do. With no warning, Tommy took out a gun and shot himself in the head. He was just 22 years old.

That moment would have a devastating effect on Tommy’s family. His stepfather James would have a heart attack three months later, while his mother Barbara Lempereur would go through years of pain and agony, before emerging with a burning desire to help others whose lives were torn apart by suicide, or who are contemplating suicide. Tommy’s room is now a healing room in the Lempereur home. As she moves forward, out of the darkness, Barbara wants others to know there is hope. Barbara’s story — and Tommy’s — need to be told.

This is a very personal story that Don Shetterly and Jeff Lemlich wrote about Barbara Lempereur's son who committed suicide.  It isn't just about the story, but the healing she went through and how she is helping others. Please pass this on so others can be helped by this story.

Read the full article, A Mother's Promise To Help After Son's Suicide.

 

  #suicide

 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/19/15 by Don Shetterly

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Valuing My Time

If it would not have been for what a healer did for me, I would not have made it this far.  While I don't want to go into specifics, I had no money for so long, but needed his therapy services.  We bartered through some of these points in time and I'm so thankful and grateful that we did.

If he would have just said no, I will not barter with you and charged me full price, then I would not have made it this far.  I have had a difficult road to travel.  He and I both knew that in time, my life would start touching many others, but I had to go through the difficult stuff to get there.

Now as I learn to value my time, I also realize that money is not my motivating force for doing what i am doing.  However, I also know that I need to live and enjoy life, so I cannot give my services away free.

Just like with myself, when someone comes to me that needs to find their way back in life, I'm going to do all I can to help them do that.  Money is important and so is valuing my time, but there is a higher purpose to these moments.  I let my intuition guide me.

Raise Your Consciousness With Dr. Michael Beckwith

I remember not too long ago, I was attending a Qigong conference in Orlando put on by Jeff Primack.  In fact, I think it was the year before last that Dr. Michael Beckwith was the keynote speaker.  I could be off a year, but in any case, I was not able to stay for that day he was speaking.

Everyone around me seemed to know who he was.  Unfortunately, I did not.  They were all excited to hear him speak and I'm sorry that I missed that part of the conference.  However, things have a way of coming back around.

Mind Valley is just launching a Free Masterclass with Dr. Michael Beckwith on Tuesday December 22. Yes, I know, this is last minute notice but I didn't want you to miss out.

From the press release, he is one of the world's leading spiritual teachers and found of the Agape International Spiritual Center.

While I still don't know much about Dr. Michael Beckwith and this is not a review, here are some things Mind Valley says to expect on this Free Masterclass 60 minute event.

• Powerful Guided Meditation and affirmative prayer to finally accept and love yourself fully
• Discover how curve balls that life throw you are an opportunity towards a greater realization of your true self
• Understand the four stages of spiritual development
• Learn the eight life structures that define your human experience and how to improve each of them
• Become a more intuitive, compassionate version of yourself and be surrounded by an abundant, energetic field of love that nourishes your soul
• Learn how to go beyond creative visualization

This is a new program being offered by Mind Valley.  I am an affiliate with this organization, and also a participant in some of their programs.  I have used Christie Marie Sheldon's Unlimited Abundance and the Love Or Above program and find these very helpful.

It is a free event, so feel free to sign up and then I'd love to hear how this Master Class with Dr. Michael Beckwith gave you a moment of clarity or understanding you didn't have before (or whatever it is that you gained from this 60 minute event). 

I wish I could give you a review of this event and my own personal take on it, but since it is new, I have not seen it yet.  I do enjoy learning anything I can from these events and I love the quality of the program that Mind Valley puts out for all its products.

See you on the event!  Remember it takes place on Tuesday, December 22.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/20/15 by Don Shetterly

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The World Is Spinning Out Of Control

I continue to see the world around me spinning out of control.  I see the nervous systems of most people vibrating at such a rapid speed that the body cannot sustain it.  I see the hype activity of the world around me running at supersonic speed.

We cannot continue to spiral out of control as we are doing now.  We can't continue to burn the candle at both ends.  We cannot continue to treat our bodies as if just another medication pill will bring us back to balance.

Things have greatly changed in the last six months to a year.  At one time, you could do some bodywork to help ground people and bring their nervous system down.  In fact, you had to sometimes push their systems up a little to drop it down.  Now, it is like you can't push them up because they are already wound too tight.

I cannot believe how much things have changed in humans.  I feel it and sense it in those that I touch or that I am around in a day.  I feel sad for the people who don't even realize it and I can see them headed for a disastrous affair with illness and disease.

Screaming Nonsense

We huff and puff.  We pontificate.  We make sure the world knows just how special we are, how angry we are, and how much attention we can get as we scream nonsense to the world.  It is the way of politics and the media and organizations who are clamoring for attention.

Yet, it is sickening.  It is the lowest form of communication there is.  If we had a small child screaming and throwing a temper tantrum, you can sure bet in this society, that kid would be spanked so hard they wouldn't sit down for a week.  We would consider the reaction of this discipline to the child a good thing.  Yet, the adults scream nonsense to the world and it is considered okay.

The adults are setting the example for the children to follow and from what I see in the news and shared on Facebook and Twitter, the adults are failing the children.  If you lead by example, maybe in this day and age it is better to not self-proclaim you are a leader.  Maybe if the people in the news every day would quit screaming nonsense to the world, we could begin to be human.

Setting Boundaries In Massage

When you work for yourself, there is one issue that will most definitely rise to the surface.  The issue is setting boundaries.  When you work in an office from 8 am to 5 pm, it is easy for people to know that they should come and see you or call you at that time.  When you work from home or for yourself, those boundaries get blurred easily.

In these days, we are connected via social media, cell phones, and email.  It isn't easy to unplug and stop.  We are all just too available in this world.  It is part of the world we live in and setting boundaries becomes very difficult.

For my business that I run out of my home and my office, I had to get a second phone.  This way, I can shut it off and turn it on at my set office hours.  I realize people will still try to call me and think I should be on the phone all hours of the day and night, but that will drive you crazy.

Can I Do This?

I like to be in control and feel in control of my life.  It isn't easy for me to feel like I am not.  So, when I do the things I am doing now from working on a client to giving a speech, I often wonder, can I do this?

Many people do this and I know I am not alone.  As humans, I think we never quite feel confident or at least many of us feel this way.  There are some I am sure that feel more confident, but I'm one that struggles with that part of life.

A person that I worked with and I, had a nice little saying.  Some times you have to fake it until you make it!  We were put in situations that usually were over our head and left us wondering what in the heck we should do about a situation.   It was the classic, can I do this situation.  We realized as well that no one else had the answers or the experience we did and so we knew that we had to use our best judgment in finding a solution.

This Is For The Cats

I saw a social media post the other day where they posted a picture and to me it was quite disturbing.  It said, "When petting cats, be sure to not activate their murder button."   I'm still in disbelief.  This blog post is for the cats!

Even though they tried to explain that when you pet some cats, they would be purring and happy one moment, but they attack you out of the blue for no apparent reason.  I'm still in disbelief.

Never have I had a cat or any animal attack me.  Maybe I'm different, but animals just don't attack me.  Of course, I don't do things to irritate them.  I don't do unconscious things that make them attack me.

Unfortunately this was posted on a cat rescue site and it saddens me.  It saddens me that people who claim to love cats and know what is best for them, are obviously not what they think they are.  You can't tell me that having this experience is normal.

Oil Changes In Life

We do it for our cars.  Yet we don't do it for ourselves.  You know - those much needed oil changes in life.  No, I don't mean taking a shower.  I mean, clearing the gunk out of your body.

Someone may think I'm referring to a nutritional cleanse and that's really not what I'm talking about here.  I'm talking about clearing the gunk out of your mind-body connection.

Every day of our life we accumulate stuff like stress, experiences, sights, sounds and smell among other things.  Every day we keep storing this stuff up in our cells, tissues, muscles and organs.  As we store the stuff up, our mind-body connection is diminished.

In addition, if you are like most people, you have had experiences that have put markers in your mind and body.  Take for instance trauma.  When we go through trauma, it changes the outlook of our mind and body.

Don't think that trauma has to be some over the top situation either.  It can be the same as a daily build up of stress. In fact, the daily build up of stress is really no different to the body than a one time traumatic moment.  It all impacts the body in the same basic ways.

Helping Others Helps Us

I've been facing my own demons lately and I had a therapy session to give, but I thought I would not be up for it.  The only thing that motivated me to continue with the therapy session, was that the person was counting on me and really needed it.  Sometimes helping others when life is tough is not easy.

Going into that session, I wasn't sure if I could be there for that person.  I wasn't sure if I would have enough to give to make a difference.  I saw the issues in my own life more than I saw the possibilities.

Yet, what I found after I got done with the sessions, I actually felt better about my situation.  It was almost like (in fact it was like) by going in and being there for the other person, I actually helped heal myself as well.

When I went into that healing space with them, I was part of that space that helped heal me.  It was like there was plenty for everyone and all I had to do was to step in the moment of helping others.  When I did, it helped me.

Scatter Approach To Healing

Many years ago when I was working one of my first jobs, I saw how many would treat animals that were sick.  It was the scatter approach to healing.  Even though people thought there were doing the best thing they could do, they were actually harming the animals.

I still remember when a vet told me to discontinue the medication we were putting in the water.  I remember saying, "but the animals will die".  He looked at me and said, "but right now you are killing them more by adding this to the water."  Just so no one misunderstands this, we were killing the gut bacteria by over medicating the water, even though we thought we were helping the animals get better and not die.

In healing modalities of people, I often see the scatter approach to healing.  Everyone goes for this procedure or that procedure, this medication or that medication, this philosophy or another.  They keep piling one thing on after another.  They keep going for the latest fad and sensational thing that someone says will be the magic pill.

Unfortunately, this further harms the people they are trying to help.  I've seen it time and time again.  Its like if someone can't see immediate results, then they make the assumption that what they are doing is not working.  Even though the results may be there and someone is not able to see them, it is almost like - what's next?  What's the next thing I can try.

Feel To Heal

So often we do exactly the opposite of what we need to do to heal our body and our mind.  We shut down and numb to everything going on.  In order to heal, we must feel.  When you feel, you heal.

Honestly, that's one of the major truths in life and it isn't because I'm writing a fancy slogan.  Numbing out is a way of disconnecting from all that is going on.  Feeling is a way of listening to the messages of your body and your mind.

Numbing takes you further into despair and pain and illness.  Feeling takes you out of those things.  Yes, I know that in order to feel, you will need to go in and confront the ugliest parts of life.  Its a built in biological mechanism that is truly there for us.

If we were feeling, we would see that there is so much that we have numbed in our body.  In fact, most of the time we are so numb, we can't even being to see this.  It is when you stop and listen and sense, that you will be able to see this.

The Body Knows How To Heal

All too often I see people giving up.  I know its hard to go through situations in life and experience body pain or physical conditions.  I understand.  I've been there far more than I care to remember at times.

Body conditions, experiences and pain are not a life sentence, unless you want them to be.  Now, I can't say all conditions out there can be healed once they are reached, but I do know without a shadow of a doubt that we can heal far more than we currently think we can.

The body knows how to heal itself from the conditions we find ourselves in.  I see and read evidence of this all the time.  You can call them miracles if you want or you can frame them in whatever way you want, but the body does know how to heal itself.

Adaptations To Trauma

Many behaviors that are classified as psychiatric problems, including some obsessions, compulsions, and panic attacks, as well as most self-destructive behaviors, started out as strategies for self-protection. These adaptations to trauma can so interfere with the capacity to function that health-care providers and patients themselves often believe that full recovery is beyond reach. Viewing these symptoms as permanent disabilities narrows the focus of treatment to finding the proper drug regimen, which can lead to lifelong dependence— as though trauma survivors were like kidney patients on dialysis.

• Book:  The Body Keeps The Score
• Author:  Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
• Kindle Location 5179-5183)

Healing By Listening

Sometimes the most simplest thing can help people heal in ways they never thought was possible.  Healing by listening is one such way and it is powerful.  Too often we think we've got to solve the problems of other people and sometimes listening is all they need.

As humans, we often want to help others.  We think that by telling them what they should do is the best offer we can give to them.  We think that by telling them what we think is right in this situation is somehow helpful.  Unfortunately all too often we miss the mark.

Healing by listening is powerful because it says to the other person, "you are valuable".  It says "you matter".  It says, "I am here for you".

Healing by listening is without judgment.  It isn't your agenda or how you view the situation that matters.  It is just being there for the other person as if you are holding the space open for them.  It is being there as a safety net to catch them as they try to piece things together.

Enough

An excerpt from my journal.
 

Some days, it is more than enough.
Some days, enough is enough.
Some days, I'm tired more than enough.
Some days, I wonder is enough.

Feel some days like I'm having all kinds of things hurled at me and somehow I'm supposed to stand strong in the face of it all.  It gets old.  It gets exhausting.  I'm not sure I'm strong enough for it all.

How I keep going, I can't explain.  How I don't just say enough is enough, I'll never know.

Some days, it is more than enough.
Some days, enough is enough.
Some days, I'm tired more than enough.
Some days, I wonder is enough.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/28/15 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Black Friday Is Not Christmas

Everyone loves a good deal.  Everyone loves the specials of Black Friday.  This year, it doesn't look like there are that great of specials because the retailers want you to spend money on full price items, not heavily discounted items.  They don't make as much money that way.

Everyone thinks that Black Friday is the start of the Christmas holiday shopping season.  In today's ways, it is.  However, at the time everyone claims there is a war on Christmas, they gladly go belly up to the bar of shopping and spending all they can.  They get caught up in the craziness of Black Friday.

Of course the retail organizations and others claim that people need to go out and spend money.  After all if they don't, none of these businesses in our country will make it.  Sure, everyone thinks it is about Christmas, but it isn't.  Where in the bible does Jesus command you to go out and buy, buy, buy on Black Friday?

Emotional Challenges

Some events come along and boy do they ever knock you on your butt.  These emotional challenges aren't easy to deal with in a day.  They run away like a train with no conductor going down a mountainside.

It seems like there have been far too many of these lately.  I struggle to hang on at times.  I struggle to continue on.  The emotional challenges batter me hard.

Yes, I'm strong.  Yes, I have tools and support to help me through them.  It just doesn't stop them from coming and taking over my life.

They are a challenge.  They are exhausting.  I so want them to end.  I so want them to go away and never ever come back again.

I wish upon a star that they are gone.  I recite mantras that they will never appear again.  Yet these emotional challenges just find their way into my life.

Social Media Break

Don't tell anyone!  I'm taking a break.  Yep, I'm taking a break away from Social Media.  I really just mean Facebook and LinkedIn and Twitter.  I'm sure they don't want me to take a break and in fact it is hard to stay away.

So much of society and our friends these days, use Facebook rather than email to communicate.  So, if you don't have Facebook, you're going to lose contact with your friends.  It is that plain and simple.  If you don't believe me, try it and you'll see this quickly.

Facebook has made it very addictive and I'm sure I'm not telling them anything they don't already know.  In all reality, you're an income stream for them.  The more they get you on Facebook, the more advertising they can pass by your eyes.  The more chance they have to get you to play a game and buy something, or just spend money on their site.

Twitter is almost the same way these days.  LinkedIn is well, just LinkedIn that no one knows what to do on it.

The thing that really got me on Facebook is the hatred posts that get added and shared and liked so much that one is just ready to scream.  I was so tired of seeing this and that is an understatement.  No one has any decency online it seems.  I just have no desire to see this, hear it, read it, or participate in it.

Be In Charge Of Your Health

All too often we give up our power to those that claim to know, but in many ways may not be doing all they can for us.  I'm being vague because I don't want to just rip apart the entire medical community.  However, there is far too much individualism and not enough cooperation in treating people's health.

It is easy to go into our respective corners because that is what we are licensed to do.  It is understandable.  The part I don't understand though is how we don't seek out all the treatments and knowledge that is known, rather than coming from our own paradigms.  We shun far too much and listen to regurgitated rhetoric more often than not.

I believe it is important for patients to do their homework and learn as much about their health conditions as they can.  Yet, I don't think that only involves going to some website on the internet and acting as if you are an authority because you are regurgitating information.  I believe it is much more than that.

Walking Forth With Courage

In my life, there are many things taking place.  I'm taking steps to create the life I want, not the life I thought I had to live.  It isn't always easy and sometimes the growing pains are immense.  However, I am now in the process of walking forth with courage.

So many times we say we want our life to change.  We want things to be different.  We want to get past the despair that we have.  Yet, we do very little to do that.  We hunker down from the mere suggestion or thought of fears looming over us.

You can consult every person out in the world or you can ask everyone you know what you should do.  You can wait for them to answer and then continue to keep asking the questions.  However, until you take action, you will still be in discovery phase.

Walking forth with courage is the way you'll discover your life and all that it holds.  Taking action will get your feet moving and your fingers tapping.  It doesn't start though, until you take action.

Fluoridation Panel Discussion

This is a very good discussion between a support, opponent and an attorney about Fluoridation of the water supply.  All too often, we throw information out there as if we have the truth.  Seldom do I see people honoring and respecting one another while trying to make their point.

The participants of this panel discussion were Richard Kahn, DDS, David Lonski, Esq, and Paul Connett, PhD at the East Brunswick Health Counsel's Wellness Spotlight with Ken Freedman, D.C.

All highlights below were from statements in the video.  To see the full context, please watch the video.

Use Your Ears To Help Humanity

Here's a simple truth that you can take to the bank.  Okay, maybe it won't have much value in the bank, but it will in humanity.  If you really want to help other people, make sure you listen twice as much as you talk to them.

We all have two ears and one mouth, but for some reason, we act as if we have two mouths and one ear.  If that sounds funny, it isn't meant to sound funny.  It is true if you watch the reactions of people to one another.

We are so eager to tell another person what they should do.  We are so eager to be an authority on something because of what we've been told.  We are so eager to make sure the world or social media knows how we think, lest anyone go astray.

Yet, if you really want to know the most helpful thing you can do for another, it isn't telling them what they should do!  It is being there for them without an agenda of any type.  It is being there and listening to them with both ears and an open heart.  It is shutting your mouth off long enough so you can hear them.

Belief and Superstition In Healing

Some days my heart aches as I see what people believe and what they base their beliefs upon in life.  Some I feel is belief that is grounded and all too often, some of it is superstition, for lack of a better word.  One will get you further in my opinion than the other.

When you have experiences and you see firsthand the effect or outcome of what transpires, it is easy to hold that belief as reality.  I have had many instances in my life where I know with a shadow of a doubt, that something is true.  It is true because I experienced it and can back it up in my body as a reproducible experience.

When others tell you something is true because they believe it to be true, too many times it is not grounded in true reality.  I'm not saying this is an absolute statement, but I see it more often then not.  It makes my heart weep especially when people are passing on superstition.

It takes much more for people to be grounded and out of that grounding, to share something that is truly life changing for others.  There are few that do this and too many follow the beliefs of superstition.

Peace On Earth Begins With Me

There have been many tragedies around the world and I don't see where they will let up anytime soon.  They seem to be increasing.  Some of them are natural disasters and some of them come from one enemy fighting another enemy.

As I have seen a discussion in the past few days turn from pure hatred towards those that killed innocent people to blaming politicians or guns or whatever the reason is just plain sad.  People love to boil everything down into one short and simple soundbite that is the sole reason of why things are happening that everyone can't stand.

The media loves to put a soundbite to a tragedy because then they can hook people into following their newscast.  The more people that follow, the more viewers they have and the more money they can make.  I get it.  Its an entertainment business and if you don't entertain people, they switch the channel.  It is one reason, we shut off cable.

Everyone wants to believe that peace on earth begins with other people.  Unfortunately that is not the case.  We are all adding to the problems of the world whether you believe it or not.

Embrace Being Grounded

Lately, it seems like it is an epidemic to either be living in fantasy or just not being grounded.  I see this constantly these days.  I realize to some people, I'm probably far out there at times, but what I am seeing lately is woo woo on steroids.

It is really sad in some ways.  I don't mind people being out there and embracing all that they pick up and sense and experience.  However, if you're not grounded, then chances are you are looking at stars and thinking they are the sun.

When people go to far out on the branch, not seeing that it is breaking off, then they make it hard for others who truly experience things in a grounded way. On the other hand, we have people who I respect like Neil deGrasse Tyson acting as if it doesn't fit into his scientific lab, then it is not real.  These are the extremes and neither is overly helpful.

We Take Things For Granted

We get so used to what we have.  We miss the big things.  We miss the little things.  People, places, and things are just there and so we take things for granted.  Everything becomes all too familiar, rather than unique and special.

Sometimes we are so inundated with everything coming our way in a day, we don't stop the time to see what is there.  We don't notice what someone special to us, does during the day.  We don't notice that special sound or sight or smell around us in the small moments.  All too often, we take things for granted.

When was the last time you said thank-you to someone close to you.  When was the last time you thanked a random stranger or gave them a smile.  When was the last time you let someone know how great of a job they did or just how much they mean to you.  All too often, we take things for granted.

Get Out Of The Situation

It's too easy to feel you're trapped.  It's too easy to feel like there are no options.  Often the thought of trying to get out of the situation brings on more fear than actually doing it.  I have experienced this firsthand many times in my life.

Sometimes to get out of the situation is the best thing you can do.  It is often the moment where you begin to see things differently in life.  I know it isn't easy.  I know the fears of how will I survive, how will I make it, where will my needs be met will surround you and attack from all fronts.

When you are in moments when you need to get out of the situation, do everything you can to prepare for it.  Sit down and focus on what is needed (if you have time to do this) and ask a trusted friend to allow you to bounce off ideas to them.  Embrace the ideas with action that are good and discard the ones that may not serve you well.

Follow And Believe Sniff Test

Have you ever seen those cartoon characters on TV that their head literally spins round and round?  Some days I feel like that when I see some of the things that people believe and follow.  I'm not here to say what is right or wrong, but I think we follow and believe things that just don't pass the sniff test.

So today, let's consider a few things that would be part of a sniff test.  Hopefully I can write this in a way that is enlightening and not threatening to people.  After all, most people hold their beliefs very close and dear to their heart.  If you challenge them on it, they feel like you are threatening to kill them.

#1 Sniff Test - Your Experience

The way I see this is, has this been your experience?  Do you have some personal narrative to back up what you follow and believe.   Is it just something you think may be possible or it sounds plausible?  If you experience something firsthand, then you know without a shadow of a doubt that it is true for you.  However, even though it is true for you, it may not be truth for everyone.

Something Changed

I can't put my finger on it.  I am not sure if I can even describe it.  I doubt I could give all the details and it would make sense.  However, something changed.  I can feel it, sense it and see it.

Its been a tough time of uncertainty and one challenge after another in my life lately.  I had a great time at a Film Festival and its the first time I've been out and around people in a few weeks.  After some challenging events, I just wanted to hide in my cave, but last night and today, I noticed that something changed.

Someone I had not heard from in a time, sent an email to me and it connects me back with something from many years ago.  It was interesting that just yesterday, before the email arrived, I was discussing a question with a friend in regards to this topic.  Its like the answer or one more piece of it is showing up.

Then I had felt stuck and not sure what was happening and there was all this uncertainty, but all of the sudden I got an email that connected to me with part of what I am trying to create.  It was a moment that was kind of like saying, "hey, I'm here - don't forget about me".

I'm Not Okay

All too many try to hide the difficulties they face in life.  I've done it and I know many that have been there in those same shoes.  In fact, I still do it at times.  To say, "I'm Not Okay" is a difficult thing to do.

There are many reasons we do this.  Some of it is what we were taught growing up.  Some of it is because of shame.  For guys, it is about having to be in control and not show weakness at any time.  In some cases, other people in our lives don't want to hear the difficulties we face because they are too uncomfortable around it.

One of the YouTube vloggers that I follow is in the following YouTube video.  In this video, Dan (Mallow610) talks about how he suffers with depression, anxiety and other mental health issues.

The YouTube video is very open and honest.  I am glad he found the courage to share this.  He is most definitely not alone even though it may feel like that at times.  Thanks Dan for sharing this!

Please watch his video:  I'm Not Okay

Giving Advice

I see it so much these days.  Everyone is an expert the minute someone says something online.  Everyone has to make sure the other person knows what they think they know.  Giving advice has become a plague in our online society.  It is a disease ridden concept that has everyone thinking they have the next best thing in the world.

Am I too harsh?  I don't think so.  I think the advice that isn't grounded and given freely without anyone knowing what is truly going on is DANGEROUS!  I mean, it is very DANGEROUS.  I repeated that in case it slipped your attention.

Even these feel good statements are as much of a problem as the advice because they simplify a person's problem in life down to a few words that are as cold as the north pole in the winter.  You may think that these statements offer support, but its like giving water to a drowning man.

What we need is far more people that listen and that are there for others.  What we need is far more people that will react and interact to others in a real way and in a human way.

Spank Those Kids!

I've about seen enough of this in the news lately.  People often say, "spanking worked on me" and "works on my kids".  Really.  I honestly want to understand how would you know if it worked because that was the only thing ever done to you.

Granted, before you huff and puff and try to blow my house down, let me tell you that I'm a little jaded on this subject.  I got spanked and whipped and beat.  In my eyes, its hard to see the difference.  While it might have worked on me to keep me in line, it allowed me to be brainwashed into doing and saying and thinking whatever my dad wanted out of me.

You might say, "well it wasn't all that bad".  I'd have to reply, "no - not if you think abuse and molestation was okay because I was too afraid to stand up to him".  You might say, "well, you are an exception".  Unfortunately I think that logic holds little water because I believe there are a whole lot of people out there like me.

The thing is, I truly think most parents over react or that is what I see as an outsider.  I see them trying to control every move that the kid makes.  If you're a parent, you might disagree but from the outside looking in, that's what it looks like.

Then, of course when the kid doesn't do what the parenting figure wants, they make sure that kid knows what is coming and then the kid feels it.  It is almost like the parent is on autopilot and unconsciously taking their stress and anger out on the kid.

You might be ready to tell me I'm stupid and I don't know what I'm talking about and that's okay with me.  I'm just trying to get people to think a little and open their eyes up a little because I don't think this love for "spanking" is as helpful as we all want to believe it is.

I've seen the damaging effects of parents gone too far, both in myself and in others.  My favorite example is when you see a parent hitting a kid because they hit someone.  Using the same thing you are telling them that is wrong to get them to know that it is wrong.  Where is the logic in that?

I wish parents would stop and slow down at times and de-stress themselves first, before striking (opps, I mean spanking) the kids.  I wish parents would count to 10 and calm themselves down before spanking the kids.  If you insist you must do it, at least get yourself out of the emotional state first.

There are far too many kids out there that have been damaged by parents thinking they were just disciplining them because that is what they got as kids from their parents.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see a continuation without much consciousness in this action.

Touch can lift our kids up and let them know we love them or it can destroy them.  It is up to each parent to choose which they do, but I think many parents out there need to take a chill pill.  We act like these kids today do things that we never did and yet, our parents probably said the same thing about us.  I know - I know - as we grow up, we tend to forget it.

I'm not going to tell you that spanking should not be done.  I can't say that.  I will tell you though, I believe there are other ways to interact with your kids and if you aren't actively learning those, then spanking isn't going to yield the positive result in my view.

This is just something to think about in hopes to raise the bar a little.  Its my view of course, but my view is based upon the abuse that I went through.  It has taken me forever to get beyond what was done to me and my body still feels it, even when I try to forget.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/8/15 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sixty Percent Taking Prescription Drugs

This statistic is shocking in some ways and in many ways it is not.  Nearly 60% of Americans take some type of prescription drugs.  This was according to a recently released study in the Journal Of American Medicine.  Now before you start hurling rocks at me and saying that your prescription drug is a necessity, let me say, "I understand".

Its fair to say that I've taken prescription drugs over the course of my life.  I wanted to be fair and say that up front.  I took stuff for stomach problems, allergies, migraine headaches, anxiety, and antidepressants.  So, before you throw the rocks at me, just realize where I was at during most of my life.

Today I take no medications.  I have a small bottle of Aleve that will last me for a long time.  Other than that, there is nothing I take on a daily basis. I rarely take Aleve and generally only when I've been traveling and need to be at my peak or I've overdone it with yardwork and hurt like there is no tomorrow.

I have found ways to deal with the physical situations that were arising in my life that caused me to take medications.  I know that the tests and medical community convince us that we need all these drugs, but for the most part, I don't agree.  Of course, do what you need to do for yourself and don't take this as medical advice.

Dairy Free Cream Of Chicken Soup

So today, I was making one of our favorite dishes and of course, the one ingredient I really need, I can't find.  Sure, I know the store sells Cream Of Chicken Soup, but everything we could find had onion and garlic in it (along with many other things I don't want).  Onion and garlic make me sick.  End of story.

I mean we looked all over in the area we live and every blasted food processor thinks that if it doesn't have onion and garlic in it, it ain't soup!   Ridiculous!   For someone that gets sick on onion and garlic, they are no friend of mine!

Anyway, I went searching and found a great recipe for this on MyWiseMom.com for a homemade, dairy free, cream of chicken soup.  I love that it is dairy free.  Now, you're talking my talk!

I made the soup tonight for the dish and it was so easy to make.  It tasted so good.  The only thing is, I poured a little too much spice in and well, that wasn't so good.  Next time, I'll cut back on them.

I'm Picky About Music

This is one thing I am very picky about in life.  My ears hear music in a different way than most because I think I FEEL the music, more than I hear it.  I'm extremely picky about the music I listen to and it either hits me instantly or it gets discarded in my mind.

I was watching a show on TV the other night and I exclaimed "that is some awesome music".  Of course, it dawned on me that it was from a couple of decades ago where they actually did music with live instruments and not electronically created sounds of live instruments.  It was an aha moment for me.

There is a big difference and I know that in today's world, electronically generated music is the norm.  However, most of the time it doesn't feel right.  It doesn't move me like the stuff made with actual instruments.  I can feel the difference.

Instrumental music has so much depth to it and the sound crosses so many spectrums.  Electronically generated music is a sound, not necessarily a depth filled musical note.

I'm sure many will disagree with me because that is what everyone has become accustomed to in making music and listening to music.  Yet, I know that the music that really moves me is the one where live instruments harmonize together.

Not All Smoothies Are Equal

Some days I read stuff that comes through my social media feed and I do the eye roll.  Recently I read a post about using all kinds of different ingredients in your smoothies that I would really question.  Of course, it didn't take me long to see what company "was pushing" their products in the smoothies.

Maybe the ideas that these people are pushing have merit.  Unfortunately, if you started asking them questions about what each particular thing did and why they included it, I've got a feeling the answers would be shallow at best.  On top of that, I'm not so sure some of these things put in a blender and blended at high speed is necessarily a good thing.

On top of that, I saw "frozen fruit" or other similar types of ingredients being put into the blender.  Okay, if you just want to have something that tastes good, go ahead.  If you want your smoothie for healing abilities and nutrition, then it isn't the best thing.  Freezing foods changes and alters the chemical structure.

Biggest Critic In Your Life

I love how real Brene Brown is.  When I see these lectures, I can't help but want to jump up on the stage with her and give her a big hug.  She is so real and down to earth and saying the things that I believe most of us need to hear.

In this latest video I found, she talks about "Why Your Critics Aren't The Ones That Count".  Oh boy, now that is a big topic with a lot of steam in the kettle.

One of the quotes that I so love that Brene Brown makes in this video is "If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I don't want your feedback."

Another great quote in this video is "What would have happened if you would shown up?"

It really makes me think because I know I hold back in life for what others might think, say, or do.  I compare myself to others and do exactly as what she was talking about in her speech.  I see it as others are doing this, so what makes me special".

An Epic Vacation

After three years without without any time off, we finally took a trip to the Mountains of NC.  It was a long awaited vacation that I was so anxious to take.  Since we had accommodations already booked, we could not change our plans without losing money.  Unfortunately a day before the vacation, the weather forecast began showing more days of rain.

Almost every hour of the day we were up there in the mountains, it rained.  There were a few brief breaks in the weather, but for the most part, it rained.  I had hoped to get more pictures and video and just do some hiking.  Mother nature had other plans.

The first day while we sat in the parking lot of a mall waiting for the rain to stop, my friend bent his glasses and I found out my credit card had fraudulent charges showing up so it had to be canceled.  This was one of the main cards I use which meant that every automatic billing that went against it was going to get declined.  Trying to update stuff with barely no working internet was fun and some places were not very helpful.  These events began our time in the mountains.

How We Treat Other People

When did we get to the point that we became snobs with one another.  You know, the point where we damn everyone else with their point of view and push our view only.  You know, the point where if you don't believe the way we do, then you are wrong?

Exactly how does that make us human?  How does that promote a higher level of consciousness if we're against everyone and everything they believe.  It's really sad in many ways for our society to practice this with gusto.

I grew up in a home and a church where you believed everything and anything that was told to you regardless if it was right or wrong or it fit or it made sense.  It didn't matter what you thought.  The only thing that mattered is what those in authority said was true.

These days we force everyone to follow our political beliefs and our religious beliefs.  If you don't, you are considered to be less than or wrong or some label placed upon you.  It doesn't matter if you are conservative or liberal.  It doesn't matter if you are religious or not.  It doesn't matter if you are of the new age philosophy or not.