Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Blinded To Heart Felt Compassion

Written By Don Shetterly
Lately, I've seen a pattern online.  I see how much people proclaim they are enlightened, smarter, better, more aware and more conscious.  In all reality, are they what they claim to be?

They will tell you that they are what they claim, but when you read their social media responses and postings, it leaves a lot to be desired.  You can quickly see that what they say, does not match up with what they do.

Of course, many will write some flowery responses as if they know what is going on and you don't.  When that happens, I can see through it from a million miles away.

It always amazes me how much people will condescendingly tell you, their thoughts after reading only a few words in something you share online.  They might not even read the link that corresponds to it, but it doesn't stop them from enlightening you on their thoughts.

There are so many times I see replies preaching to me about how I need to live my life.  Yet, the person doesn't know me.  They don't know what I've been through.  Often, they don't know what I'm struggling with at this moment.  It does not stop them though.  They must enlighten you with their response.

A long time ago, I found that instead of telling others what they should do, share with them how you've dealt with the same situation.  Let them know, what worked for you and what didn't!  Tell them the pitfalls you found along the way.  Make sure you share with them how difficult it was and how maybe at times you almost gave up.

Telling other people what you think they should do, causes undue stress to them.  It shows you really don't care what they are going through because you make it about what you have experienced.

When someone is struggling and hurting, the last thing they need is someone interjecting their misguided unresolved issues on them.  Yes, we may think we're doing something good, but turn the tables around on yourself.

Remember back to when you struggled with a difficult thing and what would your reaction have been?  No, don't go easy here on yourself and give yourself a pass.  Really be brutally honest with yourself, and I've got a feeling, if someone else told you what you're telling them, you wouldn't appreciate it.  It wouldn't be as helpful as you think it is.

When people are struggling and hurting and walking through the fire, they need to know there's a point beyond where they are at.  They need to know that if they reach out when they start to fall, someone will be there with a hand to help steady them.

Of course, if you have not healed yourself, then this will be hard to do.  In fact, I believe that there are so many wounded people walking around acting as if they are enlightened when in fact, they have not healed themselves.  You don't' have to be fully recovered to help others, but you need to be walking the path.  These days though, we claim we are, but we don't have much to show for it.

At the end of the day, learn how to truly be there for others with heartfelt compassion.  Learn how to engage your own feelings and emotions, not make yourself out to be a robot who has none.  Be human and be authentic because people can relate to that, much more than if you start telling them how they should think, feel, or live.

Before you think you don't do this, my guess is that you do.  It is so prevalent on social media and in real life these days, that most can no longer see it.  It is no longer obvious to them.  Their eyes have become blinded by their own thoughts, pain, and unhealed experiences of the past.

Be more than you are!  Connect with people from your heart.  People hurting and in pain will be able to see through what you are shoveling out the door.

Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, January 25, 2018

Holden On Showing At SF IndieFest

Did you hear?  Holden On is showing at the SF IndieFest!

This movie is for those that deal with mental health issues and mental illness.  It is about starting a discussion and raising awareness for anyone that deals with mental illness.

When I first saw this movie in Orlando at the Orlando Film Festival, it impacted me so much.  While I had no set agenda that day attending the film festival, I stumbled into this movie and I am glad I did.

I could tell you all about it, but here's a video clip of the movie, produced by Tamlin Hall.

If you would like to know more about it, check out the interview I did with the producer, Tamlin Hall.  The Mental Health Secret Of Holden On.

If you live near San Francisco, get your tickets today.

Please pass this on to everyone you know!  We all need to do everything we can to help those with mental health issues.  If we sit by in silence, then they suffer in silence.

If You Care - Show It

Written By Don Shetterly
Don't just state the word, I care and stop there!  If you care, show it!

I get so frustrated by people who say they care and want to be involved in your life, but their actions are a million miles from that point.

Yes, I know that I've got issues with this, but some people don't seem to put things together in the brain.  I'd just rather not hear the words come out of their mouth.  Then I would have no expectations that they care.  I'd be pleasantly surprised than let down.

See, that's the thing!  If you tell someone something and then don't follow through, it is one big let down.  If you honor what you say then you enrich your life and theirs.

I find it very offensive and disrespectful to hammer into someone's mind that you care and then you fail to show it.  If you care, show it!  It is that simple.

We've got too much hyperbole in this world today with screaming matches going on with other people.  We don't need more inauthenticity.  We don't need more words spoken.  What this world needs is people who are genuine and authentic and do what they say they will do.

It really hurts when you're treated this way.  The pain inflicts a million stabs into the heart.  May we all learn the basics of what being human is about because the world needs that more than ever.  We have gone too far the other way in this civilization.

So, if you care - SHOW IT!

Blog Post And Images (c) 01/1/18 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, January 16, 2018

How High And Mighty We Are

Written By Don Shetterly
It's all those other people out there.  It's the - insert label here - people.  You know, those that don't think like we do!  To this, I can only say, how high and mighty we are!  Yes, I say this with disbelief.

Too many of us think that we have all the answers.  I'm using the collective "we" because I don't want to let anyone off the hook on this blog post.  If it makes anyone feel uncomfortable, I'm perfectly fine with that at this moment.

You see, we label others, and we look down our noses at them.  We see them with contempt.  They are not like us.  They don't believe what we do, think like we do, talk like we talk or live in the way we think they should.  They are mistaken and misled people.  They are wrong.  These people know not what they do!

We look at people with disdain and as if they are the reason for our problems.  We strike out at them trying to correct them into human beings that we can associate with in our day.

After all, we feel we must tell them where they went wrong and just how misguided they are.  We must do this if we want the world to continue on because only we know best.

Then we take to social media to point out just how stupid others are.  They know not what they do, and we are here to tweet and like and post just how wrong they are.  Of course, we are the right ones.  We know best.  We must retweet and share for it is the only way others will know how lost they are.

While this is the way things seem to operate these days in our society, we're really all in this boat together.  While we may think we have the answers and are right in what we say, we're really throwing mud in the face of others.  Our eyes are so darkened that we cannot even begin to see this.

We've lost the way of listening to one other and engaging with each other.  No more do we honor and respect one another, and no it isn't because everyone else does not do this.  We've lost it within ourselves.   Respect for ourselves has vanished.

No longer are we connected to our heart and our mind body.  Instead, we obliterate ourselves with our busy, nonstop, stressful lives.  We pour junk into our guts hoping acting as if it doesn't matter while playing a dangerous game of risk with health treatments that fail to treat the root causes.

We have added so much horror on our days by not dealing with life's issues, but by numbing ourselves every second of the day.  Feelings and emotions are running for cover.  Heart and mind connected thoughts are silent.

If we continue this way, we'll be in a much worse mess than we are now.  We cannot sustain this because it is taking its toll on the human body and the mind.  It is not up to someone else to solve this.  This has to begin with each one of us.  Only we can turn it around in our lives.

While we may think we are high and mighty, in many ways, we are not.  The more we believe that everyone else is the problem, the more we have lost our way.

Stop for a moment.  Look at what you are doing to yourself and the world-at-large.  Leave no stone of discovery unturned.  Look deep and hard within your own mind and body and heart to see what needs the sunshine of truth.

Give up trying to pull the speck out of your brother's eye when you have a log in your own eye.  It is the only way to help anyone is by helping ourselves first.  Otherwise, we are just high and mighty as we continue to destroy the world we live in.

Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, January 15, 2018

Such A Beautiful Video by Laura

When I saw this video that Laura did from a poem she read in my book, it brought tears to my eyes.  When you know that something you have written touches someone else this deeply, it touches you more than words can say.

Laura creates some beautiful stuff with her videos, and I can't for the life of me understand why they don't all have thousands of views.  These are good quality videos that are positive and uplifting.  Yes, they sometimes deal with difficult subjects, but they leave you feeling good and hopeful.

I'm especially fond of the "Stephanie" character.  If you don't know what that means, then you've got to see the video.

Give Laura some love watching the video and subscribing!  Let's all support content that makes a difference!

And don't forget to check out my book, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

I Feel Like Giving Up On This

Written By Don Shetterly
I'm tired and exhausted.  It feels like forever that I've tried building up something where I'm helping others while maintaining my life.  It feels like I've failed.

No, I don't require a wealthy lifestyle.  I don't require a lot of things.  I make do with what I have and try to live as simply as I can.  Heck, my cell phone is over 5 years old and not many do that.

If I wanted to tweet about politics all day long, I'm sure I'd have a bunch of followers.  There would be a lot of screaming, yelling, disrespect and name calling.  It might make me popular and might get more people acquainted with me, but the cost is too significant.  It is not what I desire.

On my blog, I try to focus on things that have helped me in my own life that maybe will help the world.  I don't just put out pretty happy thoughts that have little substance to them.  I give real-life examples of how I walked through the fire.

Yet, at the end of the day, I can't sustain myself with a living income.  My book and music sales are decreasing as if no one cares.  It really feels that way.  Supposedly my book has helped several, but you'd never know it by the lack of reviews and sales.  Supposedly my music is beautiful, but you'd never know it be the anemic sales.

There are far too many that are fake online and that seems like what I see more and more of these days.  Too many selling gimmicks and snake oil.  I try my hardest not to do that with the things I promote are ones that have helped me at one point or another.

Maybe I'm expecting too much online.  Maybe people want to be one-dimensional and half present.  Heck, it isn't just online.  It happens in real life for me.  Those who were once friends are distant unless I push them to connect.

So right now, I'm wondering if all the time I spend trying to help is really worth it.  I'm sure for those that it has helped, they are grateful.  It may just be time to move on and give up on what I've been working towards in my life.

I don't know the answers.  I've cried enough tears lately.  The only thing I know is I cannot continue to exist on nothing.  Somehow I've got to provide for basic necessities in my life.  At this point, I'm just not sure where to turn.

Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, January 11, 2018

Touched By A Butterfly

Written By Don Shetterly
There I was, struggling with all that life had thrown at me that day. I had been triggered, derailed and was struggling to come up for air.  Yet, in the midst of all the turmoil, I was touched by a butterfly.  That moment did so much for me.

I was at the butterfly exhibition located at UCF in Gainesville.  While there were many butterflies flying around, there were also a lot of people.  It was very crowded.

Most of the time, you need to stand real still for a butterfly to land on you.  I think they sense your energy and stillness which determines if they land on your or not.  Because of all the activity, they were not landing on many people.

As I stood there trying to dodge people walking by, I noticed a beautiful orange butterfly land on my foot.  For a moment, he just hung out there.  So, I stood there as still as I could while enjoying the moment.  I had my phone on record.

As I stood there, the butterfly began to make his way up my leg.  I was not about to move as I was enjoying the experience.  The more I stood still, the higher he climbed.  He then got to my waistline near my shirt and stopped.

I was afraid to move for fear I would scare him away.  Butterflies mean so much to me and I did not want to interrupt what was happening.

Even with all the people milling about, he continued to stay attached to my upper leg.  He was not going anywhere.  I did not want him to leave.

So as I continued to take pictures around me and move around ever so gently, he hung on to my clothes.  For the better part of an hour, he stayed right there with me, never leaving or moving.  I got more comfortable and started walking around the exhibit more, but he stayed with me.

Finally, when it was getting late and I was ready to leave, I had one of the workers lift him from me.  The orange butterfly was so calm and relaxed.  It really struck me as odd that he did not want me to leave and I didn't want him to leave either.

Through the difficult moments I was experiencing, this little butterfly touched me deeply.  It was almost as if he was there letting me know that I was special to him.  He impacted my heart in a way that got through the pain.

I'll never forget the butterfly.  I love the creatures so much, but this one definitely stole my heart.  Realizing that they only live for a short time and what they go through to be born, I'm in awe of what he meant to me.

Sometimes in our deepest darkest moments of hurt, it is the little things that touch us the most.  These are the things that can reach through the pain and help us find a moment of support.  Yes, nature is one of the greatest gifts in life I believe.

Here's a little video of the butterfly (on my Instagram account) crawling up and hanging out with me.  Seeing the video brings tears to my eyes.  I know, you had to be there to experience it firsthand, but hopefully, my little story will help remind you of something important.  If you're down and hurting, connect with nature.  Nature has a way of healing our soul and our pain.

My life was forever changed that day when I was touched by a butterfly.

Blog Post And Images (c) 1/1/18 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, January 4, 2018

When Life Throws So Much At You

Written By Don Shetterly
I know I am a person with great strength, but right now as I am writing this, it doesn't feel that way.  By the time you read this, hopefully, things will have changed.  I wanted to jot my thoughts down in case others resonated with what I am writing.

In my life, I don't shy away from difficult parts of my healing.  I usually go into them head first when many sometimes do the opposite.  However, with all that has come up and slapped me in the face, I'm seriously reconsidering my philosophy on life.

It has not been easy.  I've wanted to give up a few times.  In many ways, I don't feel like I've got anyone to talk to or ask for help.  It feels like most of the ones I go to, just aren't there this time.  Maybe that's the break to something different.  I don't know.  However, I can tell you it is not an easy place to be in.

During these most recent moments, it has felt like the foundation below my feet dropped out.  At the same time, I've been pushed around by gale force winds that make it hard to regain my footing.  There have been many moments where I questioned, could I even make it through this.  Did I have what it takes?

For me to ask that question means the storms are hitting hard.  I've already been through paralysis and depression, anxiety and suicide.  Not to mention, there was a near-death experience and a complete loss of everything I once knew in life.  I have managed to rise out of the ashes from those experiences, but this moment is taking me to a whole new level.

I'm hunkered down in my cave right now waiting for the storm to subside enough I can step back out into the sunshine.  I'm doing this through spending time alone and writing and creating.  These are the things that I grasp on to when nothing else seems to work.  Nature is also a big part of my comfort and support because nature understands when humans do not.

In many ways, I know and realize that I have made it this far.  In those times of the distant past, I wondered then as well, did I have what it takes?  To realize that my memory was gone and I had to relearn how to walk and do the basics, I can see I made it through those insurmountable odds.

These are the things I carry with me during this time.  They are what keeps me going and stopping me from ultimately giving up.  There have been times recently that I had to really fight to say to my self, "I Know You Can Do This!"

I'm hopeful for easier days.   May the easier moments arrive soon!  I long for a normalness to my day and night.  As I keep reminding myself of words, I share with others, "this too shall pass."

Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, January 2, 2018

How Far Can You Go?

Written By Don Shetterly
What can you be today in your life?  How far can you go?  What is possible?

We should ask ourselves these are questions continually.  We have the potential to be more than we are at this moment no matter what we are facing.

I have faced insurmountable odds in my life and been told that I'll never regain my life.  I have proved everyone wrong that has said this to me.

We have potential that we often don't realize we do.  When push comes to shove, we can usually rise far about where we are.  In difficulty, that's when we find our strength.

So ask yourself these questions.

  • What can you be today in your life?
  • How far can you go?
  • What is possible?

By asking the question, you are inviting your mind to see life in ways that may not be visible.  You're giving yourself a way forward beyond where you currently are in your life.

Let's start out this year thinking about what can be, not all that is not.

Join with me and give your thoughts in the comments below.

Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly
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