Touched By A Butterfly

Written By Don Shetterly

There I was, struggling with all that life had thrown at me that day. I had been triggered, derailed and was struggling to come up for air.  Yet, in the midst of all the turmoil, I was touched by a butterfly.  That moment did so much for me.

I was at the butterfly exhibition located at UCF in Gainesville.  While there were many butterflies flying around, there were also a lot of people.  It was very crowded.

Most of the time, you need to stand real still for a butterfly to land on you.  I think they sense your energy and stillness which determines if they land on your or not.  Because of all the activity, they were not landing on many people.

As I stood there trying to dodge people walking by, I noticed a beautiful orange butterfly land on my foot.  For a moment, he just hung out there.  So, I stood there as still as I could while enjoying the moment.  I had my phone on record.

As I stood there, the butterfly began to make his way up my leg.  I was not about to move as I was enjoying the experience.  The more I stood still, the higher he climbed.  He then got to my waistline near my shirt and stopped.

I was afraid to move for fear I would scare him away.  Butterflies mean so much to me and I did not want to interrupt what was happening.

Even with all the people milling about, he continued to stay attached to my upper leg.  He was not going anywhere.  I did not want him to leave.

So as I continued to take pictures around me and move around ever so gently, he hung on to my clothes.  For the better part of an hour, he stayed right there with me, never leaving or moving.  I got more comfortable and started walking around the exhibit more, but he stayed with me.

Finally, when it was getting late and I was ready to leave, I had one of the workers lift him from me.  The orange butterfly was so calm and relaxed.  It really struck me as odd that he did not want me to leave and I didn't want him to leave either.

Through the difficult moments I was experiencing, this little butterfly touched me deeply.  It was almost as if he was there letting me know that I was special to him.  He impacted my heart in a way that got through the pain.

I'll never forget the butterfly.  I love the creatures so much, but this one definitely stole my heart.  Realizing that they only live for a short time and what they go through to be born, I'm in awe of what he meant to me.

Sometimes in our deepest darkest moments of hurt, it is the little things that touch us the most.  These are the things that can reach through the pain and help us find a moment of support.  Yes, nature is one of the greatest gifts in life I believe.

Here's a little video of the butterfly (on my Instagram account) crawling up and hanging out with me.  Seeing the video brings tears to my eyes.  I know, you had to be there to experience it firsthand, but hopefully, my little story will help remind you of something important.  If you're down and hurting, connect with nature.  Nature has a way of healing our soul and our pain.

My life was forever changed that day when I was touched by a butterfly.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/1/18 by Don Shetterly

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When Life Throws So Much At You

Written By Don Shetterly

I know I am a person with great strength, but right now as I am writing this, it doesn't feel that way.  By the time you read this, hopefully, things will have changed.  I wanted to jot my thoughts down in case others resonated with what I am writing.

In my life, I don't shy away from difficult parts of my healing.  I usually go into them head first when many sometimes do the opposite.  However, with all that has come up and slapped me in the face, I'm seriously reconsidering my philosophy on life.

It has not been easy.  I've wanted to give up a few times.  In many ways, I don't feel like I've got anyone to talk to or ask for help.  It feels like most of the ones I go to, just aren't there this time.  Maybe that's the break to something different.  I don't know.  However, I can tell you it is not an easy place to be in.

During these most recent moments, it has felt like the foundation below my feet dropped out.  At the same time, I've been pushed around by gale force winds that make it hard to regain my footing.  There have been many moments where I questioned, could I even make it through this.  Did I have what it takes?

For me to ask that question means the storms are hitting hard.  I've already been through paralysis and depression, anxiety and suicide.  Not to mention, there was a near-death experience and a complete loss of everything I once knew in life.  I have managed to rise out of the ashes from those experiences, but this moment is taking me to a whole new level.

I'm hunkered down in my cave right now waiting for the storm to subside enough I can step back out into the sunshine.  I'm doing this through spending time alone and writing and creating.  These are the things that I grasp on to when nothing else seems to work.  Nature is also a big part of my comfort and support because nature understands when humans do not.

In many ways, I know and realize that I have made it this far.  In those times of the distant past, I wondered then as well, did I have what it takes?  To realize that my memory was gone and I had to relearn how to walk and do the basics, I can see I made it through those insurmountable odds.

These are the things I carry with me during this time.  They are what keeps me going and stopping me from ultimately giving up.  There have been times recently that I had to really fight to say to my self, "I Know You Can Do This!"

I'm hopeful for easier days.   May the easier moments arrive soon!  I long for a normalness to my day and night.  As I keep reminding myself of words, I share with others, "this too shall pass."

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly

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Suck It Up And Move On

Written By Don Shetterly

These words make my skin crawl with disgust for humanity.  When I see someone tell another person going through a difficult time to suck it up and move on, it saddens me.  Why on earth would you make this statement to anyone?

We all have our difficult moments and issues in our life.  Sometimes they are not easy to just move on to the next moment as if they didn't happen.  They are often complex and require little steps towards healing and moving on.

No one can tell another when they should move on.  If we have not walked in the shoes of another and we don't know what they are dealing with in their life.  In fact, even though it may appear to us that they are not moving on, they may, in fact, be making significant progress.  They may be taking big leaps when we cannot see it.

It is not up to us to be heartless and mean and uncaring to someone by telling them to suck it up and move on.  I believe this is about as low as you can get on being human.  Okay, there are other things much lower, but this ranks right down at the bottom of human consciousness.

Telling someone to suck it up means you're telling them to ignore what it is they are feeling or have experienced.  You're saying to those who are struggling that what they are going through does not matter.  Most likely how it makes you feel is more important than what they are going through at that moment.

When others are going through difficult moments, one of the worst things is to listen to people telling them to suck it up and move on.  In fact, that's a recipe for major health issues, mental health struggles like depression and anxiety and suicide.  It is a recipe for adding stress to your life and setting up moments in the future where you don't deal with things in a healthy way.

If you can't be there for the person with empathy and compassion, maybe the best thing to do is run along into the woods.  Perhaps it is a time for you to do some soul-searching about what it means to be human.  You're not helping anyone if you are making statements like this to others.  You're hurting them in ways you don't even understand.

(click to read the blog post)

The world needs those who are peaceful and loving.  We don't need more judgment and condemnation.  We need empathy and love, compassion and understanding.  The world needs us to show up for one another and help support each other as we walk through this journey of life.

Be human and stop telling others to suck it up and move on!  You'll be doing the world a big favor.  You will be impacting the world in a positive way.

Extend your arms of support to people.  Don't harm them more when they are facing difficult moments.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/21/17 by Don Shetterly

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Sometimes Life Doesn't Make Sense

Written By Don Shetterly

At times, I wonder why things happen. I've wondered that for my entire life.  I see events unfolding, and none of them make sense to me.  I am often left with unanswered questions and feelings of bewilderment and confusion.


Some people say you should believe in this thing or that thing.  Some will tell you to practice some new age thought system or meditate or try this experience or that.  Far too many times, while this may be a result of someone feeling inadequate to help you, one size does not fit all.  I'm not saying these things do not help or work, but sometimes it feels as if it is not enough.  Sometimes life doesn't make sense.

I didn't give up...

I've gone through those moments where I didn't think I could stand up, let alone walk another step.  Sometimes physically I could not walk.  Sometimes in trying to walk, I fell or struggled to find my balance.  No matter what, I didn't give up.

There are times I have had to learn to accept the moment for what it is, not having a clue as to why I'm experiencing it.  There are times when I've just had to completely let go and allow whatever was going to take place to happen.  No matter what, there are times when we have no control over what happens, and that is just the way it is.  We wait for the moment to pass so we can regain control.

When I was a kid, I begged and screamed out for someone to help me, but no one heard my cries.  I wanted those that abused and tortured me and my animals to hurt for what they did.  I wanted them struck down.  My voice went unheard.  My thoughts were lost in the echoes of silence.

The only thing I have ever known is to keep going when life doesn't make sense.  It isn't easy.  It takes every ounce of strength you have and then some.  Moments in life that don't make sense can push you beyond what you think is capable.

I have learned that if I can focus on how far I have come and what I've already traveled through, then I can make it through much more than I may see at this moment.  If I found the strength, courage, and determination previously, then I can summon it now.

We are often much stronger than we give ourselves credit for in times of difficult circumstances.  Even if we see ourselves as weak and we don't feel like we can make it, rest assured that you hold much more inside you than you realize at this moment.

Grab hold of that strength and hang on to it until things pass and your life calms down to the point of greater ease and peace.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Leaning On Each Other For Support

My tomato plants are at it again.  They are teaching me lessons, showing what happens in the plant world.  As I observe it, I recognize how it helps us in the human world.

For many of us who have gone through trying and difficult experiences of trauma or child abuse, it can be a daunting journey through healing.  Learning how to reach out is a big part of healing, but when you've been so hurt by the ones that you should be able to look to for support and sustenance, that isn't easy.

Leaning on each other for support is vital, just as my tomato plants showed me quite vividly.  I had put them outside and while the weather was a bit on the chilly side, they did have the warmth of the sun to help.  They are still just 60 day old seedlings that will be planted in the Earthbox soon, so they are a little vulnerable to every day life.

This morning when I put them outside, they looked fine, but a couple of hours later, I went to check on them and noticed they were all scrunched up, hardly wanting to stand up straight like normal.  Their leaves were curled under.

Many were leaning on each other...

Here's the big kicker though that I observed.  As I brought them inside to give them water, I noticed that many of the plants were leaning on each other for support.  Their leaves and branches were intertwined with one another as if to hold each other up.  Some of them were on the outside and laying over because they had nothing to support them.

Many though had found the support of one another to help give them stability and strength to stay standing.  Within moments of giving them water because they were thirsty, I observed them starting to stand straight up on their own.  Their leaves uncurled and stretched out.  It was like they had come back to their normal strong self once again.

They were able to rise again...

It was amazing to see that the tomato plants were leaving on each other for support.  Yet, when they did that and I gave them some water, they were able to rise again.  I think they demonstrated a very valuable lesson.

When we are going through tough times in life, we can try to do it on our own.  Sometimes though, it really helps us when we're falling, to have someone else to hang on to in that moment.  It is at that moment where the strength of another person can hold us just long enough for us to regain our strength.

Healing isn't easy, especially in the early days of coming to terms with what happened in life.  It can be a longer process than we hope for, but by leaning on each other for support, it helps us find our own strength.  Sometimes, we need to lean on each other.  That's the way we help find healing in our own life and I believe that is one of the reasons we as humans have one another.

Let us not only look for the support of others, but be there for those that need that moment when things are difficult beyond measure.  We're all in this world together and together we will make it through the most trying of times and difficult experiences.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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We Still Stand To Fight Another Day

We Still Stand To Fight Another Day


We all have those moments in life where things get rough.  Sometimes it feels like they will take us under in the moment.  Sometimes we feel like we cannot go on.  We question when they will end.  We question how we will make it through them.  No matter what, sometimes battered by the storm, we still stand to find another day.  Our courage and determination to not give up will see us through to the other side of the storm.  Yes, it may get rough.  Yes, it may be difficult, but we will stand to fight another day.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Gotta Have Hope, right?

I overheard a discussion not long ago and I was amazed at what I heard.  They said, hope is pointless and that it adds nothing to life.  In fact, it was more like if you claimed you had hope, you're were setting yourself up for failure and it wasn't a good thing.

If hope is not a good thing or a valid thing, I cringe at the thought.

If there is no hope, we're all sledding down a rocky hill on our butts!  I'm sorry, but hope gets you through those moments when it feels like there is nothing else left.  It gets you through the times where you've just about given up completely.

Hope is the bungee cord of life.  It is there as something to hold on to and hopefully keep you from going to far.  Maybe hope is a "silly concept" and maybe to some it doesn't hold much value.  I just know from experience, without hope - I would not have made it this far.

When I was paralyzed and nearly dead, the only thing that kept me going was hope - hope for another day that could be better.  When I was actively trying to commit suicide every day, it was hope that helped me find my way back.

When the anxiety attacks and the depression, the horrors and the nightmares filled my waking hours, it was hope that helped keep me going.  When I felt shame and despair and had no self worth to care if another day came and went - it was hope that kept me going.

Sometimes in life, hope is all we have.  When we face moments that are difficult beyond belief, we can't just go in and turn a blind eye to everything.  They are there staring us in the face and trying to zap every last ounce of strength we have.

Hope is what gets us through just a little bit longer so we can see that things change.  Hope is what keeps us going when we feel like there is no tomorrow.  It is there for us to grab on to and asks little in return.

To say that hope is not valid or someone doesn't believe in it, I would only say - just wait until life grabs you so hard and chokes the life out of you.  It will be at that point where hope may be all you have in the moment.

I am saddened when I see people try to enlighten others with nonsense.  When statements are made that try to take away that little moment of all that someone may have, I am incensed by it.

For I know that if I would not have had hope in those very dark moments, I would not have made it this far.  There was little for me to grab on to and I didn't have the strength to go another day.  Hope helped me find my footing long enough for me to literally take another step.

Let's celebrate hope and hold on to it.  Sometimes it is the only lifeline anyone has!

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Sometimes We Fall Flat On Our Face

It happens to me!  I wish it didn't and I wish I was far enough beyond it sometimes.  However, sometimes I just fall flat on my face.

Yes, I know - that it is what we do with that after we fall flat on our face that matters.  Picking ourselves up and inserting any appropriate cliche' is how we focus.  Yet, when we fall flat, sometimes the bruises hurt.

I won't go into specifics here, but if you want to know more, read the blog post, Triggered By My Cats, from yesterday and it will give you a better idea.  It is one of my all time difficult triggers that actually was the moment where Conversion Disorder fully showed up in me.  It took me years to discover and understand that!

I'm doing better than I was yesterday.  Yesterday, it was overwhelming to me.  Yesterday it engulfed every bit of my being, my brain, my body, and my emotions.  The trigger left me standing there numbed and disconnected, angry and enraged. It blinded me with confusion.  It pushed me to hide far away from anyone and everyone.

How quickly it happened...

I felt flat on my face.  Just as I was making it and gaining ground, it hit me.  It frightens me to think of how fast it struck and how quickly it happened.  It frightens me to know that it lurks around the corner, just waiting to pounce.

I feel helpless when it appears. I feel as if I don't even have a split second to try and contain it or think about it differently.  It is a major trigger.  It slapped me hard.  And yet - I've done so much work on this, but it sneaked up from behind and attacked me.

We pick up the pieces...

Yes, I've healed.  I've come a long ways.  I post this, not out of a desire for sympathy, but to help others see that sometimes we just fall flat on our face.  And that's OK!  Yes, its okay to fall flat on our face.  We just have to pick up the pieces tomorrow and do what we need to do to keep going.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it and put some happy thought or meme in place to say if I think this way or that way, its magically better.  I recognize and realize, that this too is part of my healing, as difficult as it gets at time.  Healing is an ongoing process.

I'm writing this just to let others know that you're not alone when you fall flat on your face.  Yes, it may feel that way.  Yes, you may temporarily forget everything you've learned and lose site of how much you have healed.  That's all normal that this moment.

However, just look for the rope at the top of the cliff and try to reach out for it, grabbing it one hand hold at a time.  Use it to pull yourself back up.  Most likely there will be someone up there steadying the rope and offering help as you struggle to climb back up the cliff.

Don't lose hope if you've fallen flat on your face because sometimes it is what happens.  It's the point where we hopefully get to heal another piece of our life.  Just don't lose hope!

#Pets

 

 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Do you empower the possibility of hope in life?

Its easy for us to get taken under by events of our day.  Sometimes life can be challenging as we face the difficult moments in life.  The question should be, "do you empower the possibility of hope in life?"

Sometimes we say we do, but we really don't.  Sometimes we think we do, but we stay stuck in misery.  Sometimes we think we are reaching out, but far too many times, we are in search of misery.

I know, I've been there.  It isn't easy sometimes and other times it can be just about as difficult as one could ever imagine.  If you've walked through the fires of life or are currently walking through them, you know without a doubt, just how difficult life can be.

While I don't necessarily agree with just changing thoughts and ignoring what is before us, sometimes we have to step up another rung on our ladder to see something different.  I feel it is very important to embrace all that we are currently experiencing in the moment, but sometimes even that can be too overwhelming.

In the midst of those moments...

When you're in the midst of those moments, stop and allow yourself to catch up.  Realize that you're trudging through heavy stuff right now, but with all things, it will pass.  The days will get easier at some point.  You can't have a storm without seeing the sunshine and the rainbow appear after the storm is past.

Empower the possibility of hope in life but taking the moment you have and just being okay with it.  Embrace it.  Love it.  Nurture it.  These moments will get you through, but if you fight them with all your energy, you will just drain yourself of necessary resources to move forward.

Hope and Possibility...

There is possibility and hope.  There is the possibility of hope in life if we keep looking for it.  No matter how difficult things can get, there is always possibility.  It is what has kept me going through some of the most difficult times I've encountered.  It is what keeps me in this world at times when I can see no other way.

(click image to read) 

Empower the possibility of hope in your life and it will propel you to the next moment you so desperately long for and want.  It will give you the strength to make it through.  It will help you see much more than you can see in this one tiny moment of your life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Just Let Someone Know You Care

In a tragedy or difficult time, sometimes the simplest thing can be the best thing.  We all think we have to come up with the right words, but that could not be further from the truth.  Just let someone know you care.

Your silence to a person going through difficult moments or a tragedy is hurtful.  It says, "I don't care."  It says, "you don't matter."

Of course, most likely you do care and most likely your friend or loved one does mean a lot to you.  Yet, if you don't show it, how do they know?  How do they know they are not just alone?

We all tell people to reach out and we are there for them, but are we really?   If we don't let them know and if we don't walk beside them through difficult moments and tragedies, we may as well be a million miles away.

Finding the right words...

Sometimes there is no best thing you can say to someone.  Often there is a loss of words and that is okay.  Just let them know through your heart and words and actions that you are there.  Don't make flowery suggestions or statements that are pie-in-the-sky claims.

Be real with others.  Show others that you love, that you truly love them.  Its all they need in a difficult moment or tragedy.  They just need to know someone cares.  They just need to know they aren't alone.  That is more then all the money in the world can buy.

Through a recent period of difficult moments and tragedies, there were far too many that say they care for me, that were absent.  Maybe they meant to getting around to be there.  Maybe they didn't know what to say.  Their silence hurt and cut through me like a knife.

More than a happy meme of the day...

If you know someone who is hurting, don't just give them a feel good, happy meme of the day.  Give them your heart so they are reminded of love.  Give them your feet, so they can continue to stand.  Give them your arms so they can rest and lean on you for support.

Don't be silent to them.  Don't think that they know how you feel about them.  Don't believe for one second that they understand you are there for them and that you love them without saying a word to them.  Don't think that even though you've told them a million times how much you care that they are remembering that in this current difficult moment. 

Don't let them stand alone in silence...

Difficult moments are tough.  Tragedies are even more tough to deal with in a day.  Don't fail those affected and struggling by leaving them to stand alone in silence and fear.

Just let someone know you care.  Don't be one of those that say they care, but fail to show it.  Be more than that.  This is my challenge.  Take a look at my blog post, "People Say They Care" or click on the image below to read it.

People Say They Care (click to read)

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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