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| Written by Don Shetterly |
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
What Shows Up In The Body
Tuesday, November 14, 2017
Do We Really Want Change?
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| Written By Don Shetterly |
We give lip service that we do. We fill our Twitter and Facebook feeds with it, but then our actions portray just the opposite. Please don't mistake this blog post as being a political one, because it is much bigger than that. I am more focused on mind body health and healing.
I've written some blog posts about intense and difficult subjects. These are often about the things that everyone wants to stop, prevent, change or bring about through awareness. Yet, when I share those online, the click rate to the blog post is barely existent.
It appears that we want to help change the world and bring awareness, prevention, or support, but we really don't want to do much more than that. So, I have to question, do we really want change?
I know... I know.. Everyone will say of course we want change. Of course we care about our issues, but unfortunately, actions speak louder. If all you're willing to do is retweet or like or share the fact that you are raising awareness, does that go far enough? In my view, I don't believe that it does.
I don't even believe it means we have to protest or sign petitions. I'm not convinced that those always bring about the change we need. We may think we do, and there may be some evidence of it, but does it really do what we think it does? To me, it feels more like screaming and boiling water than actually doing something.
After all, if you want to change the world, it begins with each one of us. It doesn't start by beating someone else over the head to see the world the way we do. It doesn't begin with bullying someone into believing the way we do. It starts with how we change our own lives in this world.
It isn't just a thought process in what we think and believe. From deep within the core of the mind and body, it radiates out energetically as a vibration. What is genuinely within us is shown to the world. We may not be conscious of it. We may not be aware of it, but it is on display.
Do we really want change? If we do, we'll support conscious behavior that helps others heal. We will quit focusing on the latest trending story of the day and look beyond to a bigger picture. If we really want change, we'll start by examining ourselves from the deepest parts, not from our belief system.
I'm not going to stop writing about the hard and challenging subjects. People may stay in the clouds and not read these things. That is their choice, but I'm not going to sit by silently. I'm not going to watch others be abused and remain silenced.
This blog and everything I write is about pushing us beyond our comfort zone. It is about challenging our beliefs and opinions and current awareness. I strive to get people who read this blog to think about everything more and in a different light.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
- You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
I Won't Back Down
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| Written by Don Shetterly |
One of his songs that is an inspirational help to me is "I Won't Back Down." When I first heard this song, I was going through horrible moments in my life. I was just coming to terms with the abuse I had gone through. It felt like everything was against me, including my family and life itself.
The lyrics state "you can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down," and that's exactly what it felt like to me. It was hell in my life healing and coming to terms with what had been done to me. If you've been through childhood sexual abuse or torture, you most likely understand the things I am saying.
In another line, the song goes, "Well I know what's right, I got just one life. In a world that keeps pushin' me around, but I'll stand my ground." At that moment of my life, I felt like I was being pushed around, but I still knew what was right.
I had a CD of songs that I played which I called my empowerment songs and "I Won't Back Down" was one of them. Whenever I felt like I wasn't making it or I needed a boost in life, I would play this CD.
Tom Petty's song helped me see that no matter what I've been through, I Won't Back Down. He kept me going when sometimes that was a huge mountain to climb.
Healing from childhood sexual abuse and torture was and still is not easy at times. It feels like pure hell. Often it feels like you won't make it through all the pain or be able to stand when it is over. That's where I believe what Tom Petty says, "You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I Won't Back Down."
I am sad to hear he passed away. He will forever be missed in my heart and the hearts of many. The world needs more people in it like him who see life for what it is, not what we're led to believe it is.
So even though Tom Petty is no longer with us on this earth, I'll say, "You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down." Oh no, I won't back down.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
- You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.
Sunday, October 1, 2017
I'm Taking Back My Life
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| Written and (c) by Don Shetterly |
When you heal from child sexual abuse or other trauma, one of the most difficult things is to get your life back. In today's morning thought post, we have to say the following to our self. "I'm Taking Back My Life!" If you have to repeat that over and over, then do so. Do what it takes until you stop backing down to what was done to you and you begin to reclaim your life. I know it isn't hard. I struggled through the exact same thing. Draw a line in the sand today and say, "I'm taking back my life!"
Friday, September 29, 2017
Dealing With Panic Attacks
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| Written By Don Shetterly |
Years ago, when I went through Conversion Disorder, I struggled with moments that the doctors hardly understood, let alone had terminology for. I remember having a "panic attack", as it was called at the time, and given a pamphlet to be taken home to read.
The only thing is the panic attack was a symptom of a much larger condition. Up to that point, the doctors had only diagnosed me with Multiple Sclerosis, which was later found to be wrong. I would not know for some time that the diagnoses were Conversion Disorder, depression, and anxiety. The doctors kept these things from me in those days.
We were all focused on getting to the point I could walk again, as I was paralyzed at that point. The goal was to get me integrated back into my regular daily routine and activities as quickly as I could, but I'm not sure anyone thought it was possible.
Noise From A Yard Sale...
When I got home from the hospital, I remember waking up that first morning. I heard a lot of people outside my door. Peering through the window, I noticed what appeared to be a yard sale by my neighbors.
This would be considered a reasonable thing by most people but all of the sudden, I would find myself shaking, crying, and struggling to catch my breath. I was scared beyond belief. I tried to hide on my couch, but the people's noises and talking would not stop. I had no idea what was going on with me. I felt as if I was going to die. I didn't know what to do.
Calling my doctor, he prescribed medication for me and then I made the bold gesture of trying to go out and make it to the pharmacy. I made it about two blocks before my legs were shaking so much and my breathing was to the point I felt like I was going to pass out. Driving a stick-shift pickup was not easy, and I managed just to turn around and go back home.
Nothing was calming down. My breathing was way off and challenging. I felt so full of despair. I finally called a co-worker friend to get the prescription for me. The medication helped, but it knocked me out for hours.
Anxiety Took Me Down...
There would be many more times I'd have to deal with anxiety, from venturing outside my house to trying to get back to work, to going inside a store. Anxiety would hit me hard and take me down quickly.
I learned to go without stimulants like sugar, coffee, chocolate, soft drinks and anything that might kick my body up. While that helped, it wasn't the cure - but it helped. I had many sessions of therapy where we would work through the anxiety issues, but it seemed as if they were never-ending.
Another thing I did was to keep a small rock in my pocket wherever I went. I learned that if I felt a panic attack coming on, I could reach in my pocket without anyone knowing and just grab ahold of the rock. To me, it felt grounding and safe so that even when my life felt out of control, the rock helped bring me back.
Would I Make It...
Life was a struggle. It was difficult. Normal things to other people were difficult life-challenging issues to me. In those days, I wondered if I would ever make it. I wondered if I would get beyond this and back to a normal life.
I have since learned so much more about how to deal with anxiety. Even at times when it gets the best of me, it is nowhere to the level of full-blown panic attacks that it once was. I have done so much intense and deep healing work using Unified Therapy that the anxiety is a fraction of what it once was.
While the mind plays a starring role in a panic or anxiety attack, the body is what generates it. This is the most helpful revelation that I have found in my healing. Ignoring the physical presence of why it is coming up makes it harder to deal with anxiety. Dealing with what the cells of the body remember is where freedom and liberation from a whole new level takes place.
I never was one to accept a condition I had or a label handed to me. I fought those hard, and I still do. I know that if I latch on to the condition I was given, I see myself as that issue, not as potential for healing. I desire healing.
I've fought the odds against so much that I was not supposed to conquer. Even to this day, I do not accept where I am. I'm always striving to push forward to places that too many believe do not exist. As I heal more and more, I am finding that there is so much hope and possibility.
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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
- You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
Mind Body Thoughts and My Creativity
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| Written by Don Shetterly |
If you've been around the blog long enough, you probably know that I'm an author and music artist. If not, let me take a moment to just introduce myself and what I create.
I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. At age 26, I suffered from Conversion Disorder and dealt with paralysis, suicide attempts, depression, and anxiety. I was a workaholic and perfectionist. I could not let anyone down, even if it meant total destruction of myself. As much as I thought I knew how to deal with stress, I honestly had no clue!
For years I fooled myself until it caught up with me, and my world came crashing down. The two books I have written are part of my healing journey through the torture and trauma I experienced. I am currently finalizing a new book with an expected publishing date of early 2018.
If you found this page through a tweet I posted, it most likely corresponds to one of the books below that is idenitifed by the picture in the tweet.
Hope And Possibility Through Trauma
A Journey Through Words
Relaxing Piano Music
From My Heart With Love
These things I have created are part of the way I help support my life and my purpose of working to help others. I know how difficult it is to deal with pain, and through my creativity, words, and music, I want to be there for others. I want to help shine the light for them to find footing on their own path.Many have asked me to allow donations, and if you want, you can always do that at https://www.paypal.me/DShetterly . However, I would like to ask that you help support me through the creative works I have available. Click the images and links above for ways you can do this.
I continue to do the things I do out of love in my heart, and I just put these options as a way for others to join this cause. I know many are hurting and I work hard to be a voice of support and help through the painful moments of healing in life.
Stay tuned, because there is another exciting project coming very soon!
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
- You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.
Thursday, September 14, 2017
Reflections On My Birthday
Written By Don Shetterly
As I approach the day I entered this world, I'm drawn to the bigger view and purpose of my life. If I live to the expected length of life, I'm well past half way through my life. It makes me stop and pause to contemplate what this means.
I don't care how much I get ahead in this world to make someone else wealthy. I've already been down that road and I saw how many employers (contract work and regular corporations) only care about their bottom line. Their employees and contractors are human chum that can be replaced at any time. I have no desire to be a part of that world any longer.
I don't care how many things I have in life. In fact, I keep trying to de-clutter and reduce what I already have. Things are not important to me. They are temporary. They are not the human experience to me. I don't need the latest and greatest phone or electronics or the most beautiful and expensive house and car. There is far much more important to me than material possessions.
It doesn't matter what the latest gossip of the day is or what celebrity has done what lately. It doesn't matter if I'm up-to-date on the most recent news headline of the day, for most of it is just fear replicated over and over to the masses.
I see things more clearly now than I ever have in my life. I see that friends and loved ones are what matters. Losing people close to me makes all those that come into my life that much more special.
Experiences Are Far More Valuable...
I see memories and experiences being far more valuable than any possession I could buy. They give me a richness and fullness in life that nothing in a store could ever do.
I see that purpose and personal growth far outweigh anything the masses push as being important. I know there is more in life and I want to partake of every morsel I can get.
Life is much more about finding myself and growing and learning and loving every facet of life I can discover. It is about awakening to so much more, not succumbing to the latest water-cooler talk that happens in our day.
I want to make a difference in this world and although I have friends who tell me that I have, I feel that there is so much more to accomplish. I feel like I have a life that craves much more and sees more. I feel more, and so things that others may discount become monumental to me. I cannot hold a blind eye to them. I cannot shut them off as if they do not exist.
As my life and years proceed, I'm learning to let go and realize that in letting go, I gain so much. In the letting go of past pain, my life is healing and opening up in ways that I never even could believe were possibilities.
Twenty-six years ago today, my life came to a standstill. I was paralyzed and on my last breaths of air as I tried to travel toward the bright white light. I heard then, "it is not your time, " and now I understand more and more what those words meant so many years ago.
I have no clue what tomorrow holds for me, but I am content in knowing that today I allow my life to connect with others, hoping that I help them lift their own lives up from pain and despair. I hope that by learning how to love myself, I can offer and show love to the world, healing it of the pain and distress it is experiencing.
May my life in the next year to come be more than it is today. May I get to that year marker and look back in awe of possibilities I could not even fathom at this very moment today.
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Twitter: @MindBodyThought
Facebook: MindBodyThoughts
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
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Sunday, September 10, 2017
Energy Medicine With Donna Eden
Hopefully, you saw the blog post from Sunday, 9/3/17 for this event. In case you have not, there is a free masterclass on Energy Medicine, and I think it only runs for a few more days. Yes, it is free. When I saw it, I thought it was pretty good. Of course, I'm always open to seeing things like this.
There is something about Donna Eden that I really love. I had never heard of the Energy Medicine she does until now. Yes, in massage school we did learn about energy, and I know it exists. I know it is healing because I've seen the effects on other people. This class is different though, and some of it is so darn simple that anyone can do it.
In fact, I'm amazed at just how simple it is. A part of me wants to say, but it can't be that simple. Surely this can't work this way. Yet, it does. I've tried some of the stuff out I have learned in her course, and yeah - it is easy, and it works. I'm just now starting the course, and so I wish I could share more specifics, but as I encounter them, I will share them.
One of the things that Donna Eden talked about in the Energy Medicine Masterclass was some of her story. She had Tuberculosis at a little girl, Multiple Sclerosis at 16 years old and a heart attack by the time she was 27. The specialists told her that there was nothing they could do and most likely she was going to die.
I'm going to figure this out...
I mention her history because I went through some things back in 1991 which they first diagnosed as Multiple Sclerosis and I nearly did not make it. So, in her history, she has my attention. The doctors weren't sure if I could make it through what I experienced and most don't. So when she said, "I'm going to figure this out and get myself well," that's exactly what I was thinking back then.
Some of the trauma healing work I've been doing over the past several years is based upon moving stuck energy of the trauma that resides in the body. We can do so much healing in our mind, but if we don't move that stuck energy out that is stored in the body, we'll only perpetuate the reactions it causes.
Our energy knows how to heal us...
I'm going to be continuing through her course, but I know the little effects I've seen already, it is worth it. After all, our energy and our consciousness already know how to heal us. We just have to connect with those things, and that is often the most difficult part. I know from experience, and at one time, not that long ago, I would have scoffed at the statement I just made.
If you so desire, I would urge you to check out the Free Masterclass on Energy Medicine with Donna Eden and check out more of the information. The one thing I've learned in my healing through some of the experiences I have had to deal with is that there is much more out there than we realize.
For More Info:
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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
- You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.
Sunday, September 3, 2017
FREE Masterclass on Energy Medicine
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I was fortunate and feel so blessed that a friend gifted me this program. I had heard about this course before, but I dismissed it. I figured it was another one of those “too good to be true” courses that I usually discount and ignore.
However, I was so wrong in my preconceived judgment! I mean, I was flat out wrong!
When I started listening to it, I quickly resonated with Donna Eden because she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and used the techniques she demonstrates to help heal herself. Now, I know that many are probably rolling their eyes because it sounds too good to be true. Don’t make the same mistake I made with the preconceived judgment!
I too was diagnosed with MS many years ago, but for me, it turned out to be Conversion Disorder. She got my attention though as I always want to learn from those that have found natural ways to heal themselves.
Her charisma and personality were infectious. I felt drawn to Donna Eden as I was listening to this course. It felt like the right thing at the right time for me. She resonated with me.
I’ve been involved with trauma healing work for several years now and have made tremendous progress. I’ve used the techniques that helped me heal from this to help others. There are times that I just feel like I need to do something daily to help. Most of the things I do each day help, but they don’t always take me far enough.
That’s the beauty of healing and awareness. We keep finding more tools to put in our toolbox. After all, you don’t want to saw a board with a screwdriver, and a wrench won’t easily pound a nail into a board. So healing and awareness and consciousness is similar to this scenario. The more tools you add to your toolbox, the more you can build your life.
I just learned that Mind Valley is hosting a Masterclass with Donna Eden on Energy Medicine. I'm so excited to hear it and hope you will be as excited as I am too.
In the course, I’m blown away by the few simple exercises she does that can make such a big difference in your life. I felt the change as I was going through it. Using muscle testing, she demonstrates how effective the exercises are and how much difference they make on people.
Don’t take my word for it. Sign up for the Free Masterclass and see if it resonates with you. That’s all I’m asking you to do. If you’re like me, you’ll resonate quickly with it.
Masterclass Objectives
- Simple techniques to tap into your hidden reserves of life energy
- Overcome an afternoon slump with an instant Energy Medicine technique
- Conquer stressful situations with two fun, energetic shortcuts
- Choose the right food with just… ENERGY
- Heal yourself using a simple kitchen utensil
So, go ahead and sign up below for the Masterclass. It is free! The Mind Valley Academy hosts this class, and they do put out top notch training.
Let me know how the Masterclass worked for you.
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| Click Image To Sign Up |
Please make sure you pass this on to all your friends! Pay it forward!
Blog Post (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
- You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.
- I am an affiliate for Mind Valley, but I only promote programs that have made a difference in my life.
- Please consult your medical provider before making any medical decisions. This information is not intended as medical advice.
Thursday, August 31, 2017
How We Learned To Deal With Trauma
Written by Don Shetterly
When you grow up in situations where trauma and abuse along with emotional and mental manipulation are what you know, you never quite have a fighting chance early in life. How we learned to deal with trauma and stress was anything but normal for us.
We were never given the tools to know what to do. We were never taught how to deal with the situations in which we found ourselves.
We grew up learning to survive. We grew up learning to find the way through what was happening to us in the best way we knew how. We often were focusing our attention on that moment of abuse we were enduring. There was no learning how to deal with the trauma, let alone the stress in our lives.
Many of us found coping mechanisms to escape what was being done. Some of us just stuffed it deep down inside. Some of us tried to match the pain through the self-inflicted harm we did to our bodies. These were survival techniques we employed because we knew nothing else.
As life continued, we faced new stressors and situations in life. The usual part of growing up in a world that is sometimes far too harsh presented more challenges. Our early go-to techniques did not match up to what we needed for those moments, and so the trauma replayed over and over. The stress continued to build.
Foreign Invaders Of Our Mind and Body...
Regardless, we knew we had found a way to survive through all the abuse and trauma we had once endured, so we didn't give up. We kept fighting. We kept trying to figure it all out, but far too often, our insight was formed because of what we had to do to survive. What we needed to do for our body and our mind became foreign invaders that we did not trust.
As we get to our current day, the techniques that once served us well and how we survived now fall short. They exhaust us because they no longer do what we need for them to do. We struggle, and we fight. Some of us fall victim to this through suicide, cutting, chronic conditions, conversion disorder, anxiety, depression and a whole host of other outcomes.
Healing is not easy. Learning to deal with trauma and stress without the necessary tools is an epic challenge. I know in my own life that I had to see the things which once helped me survive no longer serve a useful purpose. In their place, I needed to find new tools that would help.
When you have been through abuse and trauma, you become the parent to yourself and so starts the journey of learning how to deal with all of this. You become the teacher and the student at the same time. We did not learn to deal with trauma or stress, and now it impacts every facet of our lives.
This is where support of others who have been through this comes in to help. It is where therapists and qualified practitioners that know how to walk through the fires of trauma and abuse help our healing. It is where the process of healing, little by little, unfolds and helps awaken us to more of who we are, that we have hidden all these years.
Learning to deal with trauma and abuse is not something that is easy. It is a challenge on our best days, and a horror filled nightmare on our worst days.
I have found in my own life that regardless of what was done to me and what I went through, I can heal and thrive and conquer so much of what was done to me. I will not say it is easy. I will not say it is a quick process, but I know it is one that I'm winning.
I have learned that to heal, I must feel in my body and that the more I can safely do this, the more I comprehend. The trauma and abuse were stored in our body, and for me to fully heal all that was done, the body is at the center of these endeavors.
Yes, I have my good days and my bad days, but my life now is much more hopeful and full of possibility than it once was. I know that even though I never learned to deal with trauma and abuse as a kid, I'm now coming to a greater understanding of what that means for my own life. There is hope and possibility through trauma.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
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Wednesday, August 30, 2017
In The Little Steps We Heal
Written By Don Shetterly
When you've been through sexual abuse, rape, and trauma, healing isn't fun. Often times it can be overwhelming, to say the least, to figure out how to feel or if you really want to go through the journey of healing.
It is in the little steps that we heal, though while the horrors are raging in our life, sometimes that is hard to remember. While we want our life to be past all that was done to us, it isn't that simple. I know that as I look back in my own life, I see the moments come together where I was making more progress than I thought I was.
Little steps of healing seem so insignificant when we are in the middle of them. Sometimes we feel like we've only moved an inch up a 5000-mile high mountain. Yet, if we didn't move that inch, we would not be any further to climbing the mountain.
I Cannot Do That...
If you look at a mountain and try to picture yourself climbing it in one step, you'd probably laugh and say, "I cannot do that!" Yet, in our healing, we try to force ourselves to do that, and then we exhaust ourselves. We make healing into such a monumental task that we want to give up before we start.
Instead, if we looked at the mountain and allowed ourselves to climb a few feet or however far we chose to go that day, we would make major progress. Yes, we might face rock slides, storms, and get thirsty. Yes, it might be treacherous in moments where our feet slip.
The more we allow ourselves to climb at our own pace, taking the little steps, the further we will go. It is in the little steps of that day that we get higher and higher, further and further.
In my own life, I've been able to look back and realize that all of those little steps I was taking, whether I knew it or not, were getting me further. They were helping me to find the authentic part of myself that I didn't know existed.
They were taking me to higher points along the path, so that now I could see things more clearly than when I was several feet back. The vantage point and viewing changed as I went further, but I had to climb through those little steps at the beginning of the journey to see more.
Healing isn't easy. At times, we want to give up thinking we've not gone very far. It is in those moments that we have most likely gone much further in the journey than we realize. If we turn back too quickly, we may miss the monumental plateau that is right ahead of us.
Honor and allow the little steps because when we do, we will find out that we are healing our lives.
In the little steps, we heal.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
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Monday, August 28, 2017
Our Bodies Are Not Made To Be Sick
(Written by Insights Into Healing, Barbara)
My grandmother was the one who introduced me to natural healing. When I was around 11, she told me what most people say about sickness is wrong… and if you believe them, then you are giving in to that part that doesn’t have to be true. She taught me I could heal any stomach ache, and almost any pain. That’s where that belief stuck with me.
We need to teach children at a very early age that it’s not normal to be sick. Our bodies are not made to be sick. They’re made to be well! Sicknesses often come from the misguided part of our beliefs, and that comes through from generation to generation. You have parents that have a child who gets a headache, and they’re running them to the emergency room. You’re teaching them at a young age that no matter how you feel, if it’s uncomfortable, there’s something wrong with you. On the other hand, if you’re taught that you are well, that there is no sickness inside of you, then the opposite will happen.
Create and Reverse Illness...
Not only can our minds create illnesses, but they can also reverse them. That’s how powerful our minds are. We are the creator of our story, our life, what we carry inside us.
People buy into surgery and drugs as the norm. Surgery puts your body through all kinds of trauma, instead of letting it heal on its own. People are also tired of the medical field telling them to take this or take that pill. You’re only meant to take them for a very short time, not a lifetime, and they give them to you for a lifetime. Then they add to it because it no longer works.
The Mind Is The Power...
I’ve learned over and over again that our mind is the power. If we can correct our mind to let go of the false beliefs, the ego, and what is dictated to us, then we can turn inward to discover whatever is inside our body, be it cancer or any illness at all, and literally heal it. But it takes a lot of work. Is it possible? Yes, it’s possible, it happens all the time. It’s about our inward communication.
The more I go in, the more work I do inside of myself, in my body, the more I discover that memory is stored everywhere. It’s not just the stomach, it’s not just the heart, it’s everywhere, and our life stories – the things that have been painful to us, that have hurt us, that have created anger and hate -- are stored in all areas of the body, just waiting to come out and be healed. The cells tell the mind what to do.
Going inward and surrendering to it will open the story. It will pop a memory in your brain so fast. To surrender does not mean to forget. Surrendering is the part that says you just let go, and it comes out. It’s not that all of a sudden the memory comes into your head and you decipher it. When you do that, you’re putting It back into your body.
What you want to do is heal the pain, not just take it away. The pain is there to remind you not to forget that there’s something that needs to be healed. When you have the pain, you have that opportunity to go in and see what it is. Is it a certain memory? Is it a certain emotion? When you find what it is, don’t take it and see what you can do with it. Acknowledge it. That’s it. It’s in acknowledgment that the body releases it. You no longer need to carry this.
You can release it!
- Barbara (Insights Into Healing)
Read all of Barbara's Columnist Posts
(Editorial assistance by Jeff Lemlich)
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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Barbara
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Friday, August 18, 2017
Noticing Body and Rash More
Written By Don Shetterly
One of the things I've noticed since some of the major healing session work I had done last Monday is how much more I notice. Okay, I'm not talking about the itching or feeling the rash, I'm talking about what kicks it up.
Before the healing session work, I just noticed constant itching and burning from the rash. It was uncomfortable. It was not easy to deal with, and the warm summer weather made it worse. I just could not articulate anything that kicked it up as it seemed to have a mind of its own.
Since the healing session, I've noticed the little things that kick it up. I've seen how things kick up the body temperature in me where it feels like my body is consumed by fire.
The rash seems to act as a barometer for me in the little moments that most of us don't notice in a ay. Even the slightest word or thought or comment kicks it into high gear.
Now, I'm noticing how my body temperature rises instantly, or at least it feels like an increase. It goes from normal to feeling as if my body is on fire and being consumed.
I am beginning to see that the minute something comes along which affects me emotionally, the rash and itching start cranking up the response. It does not take much. At times, I find myself thinking - that's what kicked it up? You've got to be kidding!
Yes, I know I am a sensitive person. I pick up so much, and most of the time, it scares the daylights out of me. Most of the time, I just shut down what I sense and pick up because it is often too much.
The rash is bringing all of this front and center. Yes, I do realize that there are other things involved that are impacting me but to see, fully, what is going on is helping me.
Before this, I was oblivious to all that was involved which makes it hard to heal something. Now, I'm seeing the little pieces and am more aware and in control of what is happening. This puts me in the driver's seat, rather than just someone along for the ride.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, August 17, 2017
Feel Your Body
Okay, the title of that blog post might be raising a few eyebrows and if it is, I'm okay with that. There is nothing wrong with the statement, and I'm not trying to dupe you into something that is not. Trust me, the statement "feel your body" is pure, and it is helpful.
Most of us humans go through life not feeling our bodies. Yes, we think we do, and that we are in touch with it. Unfortunately, we are very good at fooling ourselves far too often. I know, no one wants to hear that, but it is true.
There are reasons why we don't completely feel our bodies. I don't want anyone to be too hard on themselves for not feeling their body because, in many ways, this is part of being human and aware.
Some of the reasons that we do not feel our body include the following:
- Past experiences.
- Stress in our lives (whether we create it or it is around us).
- Physical issues we are struggling with.
- Diet.
- The level of exercise and activity.
- How we learned to deal with stress in life.
- Trauma.
- Abuse
- Rape
- Childhood Sexual Abuse.
- Unconsciousness.
- Numbness.
- Keeping ourselves busy all the time.
- Not taking the time to feel.
- Being afraid to feel.
- Dealing with an overwhelming life.
- Dealing with chronic pain.
- How we connect with the world around us.
- Immersed in the latest news and issues of the day.
- Avoidance
When I was working a nonstop schedule of weekly travel and handling 400 to 600 emails a day. plus being the lead tech support person for a project, I found myself feeling almost no pain. However, even though I didn't feel it, the pain was taking its toll on me through exhaustion.
It was when I finally stopped for a moment that the pain caught up with me, and it was not pretty. I had suppressed it so much that I didn't feel it.
I'm amazed at what our bodies do to us and for us when we are oblivious to reality. I saw this play out when Conversion Disorder paralyzed me. I have observed it play out in other people and at other times in my life.
Recently, I went through some major healing work because anxiety, depression, despair, and pain were getting to be too much for me. I could hardly go on in life. I did not realize how painful my hamstring area was until I got in that session and allowed myself to feel. Of course, the muscles were exhibiting the reactions to trauma from years past, but I was completely oblivious to it.
I see people talk about stress being all in our heads, but that could not be farther from the truth. Stress is everywhere. Yes, some don't feel it consciously, but it is there. Stress impacts us every day, and if we hide from it and ignore it, then it will build up. As stress continues to build, it will get our attention at some point in life.
If you're going through chronic pain and other conditions, you may be feeling pain but there is so much other stuff that has been blocked. It pushes the limits of pain to levels that are extremely difficult to endure. It is as if one side of life has been pushed to the max while another side of life has been forgotten and numbed.
Feeling your body can be scary and frightening. We have plenty of medications and drugs out there to prove this. There are enough wine, alcohol and OTC pain relievers so help us disconnect and numb from what is going on.
Sometimes past experiences impact us more than we realize, and they start suppressing one side of our body systems while elevating other parts. The more this happens, the more the fear increases and when it gets to be too much, we are shutting down our connection to what is going on in our bodies.
It is natural for humans to do this. It is part of our survival mode, but unfortunate the survival mode doesn't get turned off after stress or experiences or past abuse and trauma. Our brain then gets hijacked by all that happened to us or all that we experience, leaving us as puppets, rather than in control of our lives.
The more we can stop and recognize all of this, the greater the chance we have to overcome so much. Experiences in life, stress, and trauma that we have endured suppress the healing power we have within us.
Just recognizing this in the mind is not enough. It is only part of the equation. We need to go in and feel our bodies. We need to go in and feel every fiber of every muscle and each cell of every tissue. It is through that connection to the body that we give ourselves the greatest hope of being more than we are.
The more we feel in the body, the more we can enact change and make better choices for our lives. If we don't do this, the stress and trauma will take over and leave us as bystanders in our own life. We have the option to connect more than we do and if we do this, the payoff is far beyond anything you most likely can comprehend in this moment.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, August 16, 2017
Healing The Physical Trauma of Child Abuse
Written by Don Shetterly
This Unified Therapy session wasn't easy. It was tough beyond any words that I can write. In fact, just getting myself to see Dr. Canali was more than difficult. I procrastinated. I tried to wish it away. I tried to numb it away.
No matter what, as hard as I tried to wish it away, my avoidance was not helping the issue at all. I was begging for mercy. I wanted relief. I could not find it on my own no matter what I was doing. As I wrote a few days earlier in a blog post, it was the Rash That Won't Stop that got me to the point where I finally went to see Dr. Canali.
My life had become one of so much difficulty with little sleep. The burning and itching I described in that blog post were no lies. It was all too real. My anger was hard to contain with everyone and everything. I did not know at that moment before the session if I could make it through this. I was not sure if I could make it through this. The session with Dr. Canali had become my last hope.
What I had written, I shared...
I shared with him what I had written in that blog post. I couldn't even manage to get the words out. My voice would not articulate them. As he sat down beside the massage table and read them out loud to me, my eyes welled up with tears. To most people, they are words on a page. To me, they were heartaches and pain from the abuse I suffered.
As we began to go into what was coming up in my body, it was evident to Dr. Canali and myself just how locked up my pelvis and abdomen were. In fact, most of my pants were not fitting at that time. They felt like 5 sizes too small. The itching in this area was intense. Any touch anywhere close and the pain would shoot through my body like there was no end.
Moving through things, everything from the itching to the heat in my body and the pain would kick up. We would take it as far as we could, and then Dr. Canali would allow me to drop back down. It felt like a physical workout. It felt like there were moments that were almost too much. However, I knew that this was part of the healing process.
An empowerment boost of healing...
The more I started to see that we could go into all of these things and then drop back into a more peaceful state, the more empowered my body became. It was as if pushing into these difficult moments and then dropping back was an empowerment boost. A boost that kept me taking on more of the trauma my body had been holding for many years.
Some of these trauma memories of abuse that I was dealing with, I have seen in other forms and ways at various times. However, this one was the more physical side of being raped and held down with no way to stop it. It started by the time I was around six years old and continued until I was much older.
As we moved through the session, we discussed those things, and I was allowed to share them. It wasn't easy to say the words. It wasn't easy to recognize just how much the evil and darkness of these abusers and tried to squash any hope for light and existence I had.
The Body Shows The Trauma...
The physical trauma resides in the body. The body remembers even if we attempt to keep it from reliving memories from years past. The brain will try to block it, but when the body shows the evidence, it is then that the brain is in survival and numbing.
As we went through the session, I could feel the physical tension leaving my body. It was more than if I had gotten a relaxing massage. It was where my body goes into that deep peace and rest that it desperately needs. The itching came down. The pain came down. The elevated body temperature I was feeling dropped down.
I noticed as we left the office and went out into the summer heat of a South Florida afternoon, that I was tolerating the heat much better. Before this moment, I could barely stand in the summer heat for a few minutes.
I noticed that the world around me seemed more at peace. I sensed the quiet stillness accessible to me even though the hustle and bustle of the city continued. I felt lighter and more joyful. I felt more hopeful and alive than I had a little while earlier that day.
As we left to go back to the hotel, I started to notice that the pants which were tight on me before the session, were now needing a belt. There was so much physical tension in my abdomen and waist that had released that I could barely keep my pants up. It shocked me because it showed me just how much trauma I was holding in my physical body.
I went from not wanting anyone close to me touching me to allowing myself to be touched. I went from wanting no intimacy to welcoming it happily.
In that session with Dr. Canali, so much physically changed in my body. It was like I was coming back into my body and learning to live life again as was meant for me to experience.
Healing Is More Than A Mental Exercise...
Once again, the work and concepts that Dr. Canali has discovered are helping me understand what trauma does to the body and how we store all of this for years and years. It is not just a mental exercise. It is an exercise where you connect the mind with what comes up in the body and then you are gently guided in different ways how to let go of it all. It is a process that helps you find deep healing and peace, that is more than a quick point of change. This healing is lasting.
As I write this, several days after the session, I can still feel my body letting go and processing all that went on in that session. I can feel how little moments in life kick up the body temperature or the itching while being able to talk myself back down and put reality in perspective with what I am feeling.
Yes, I've had moments of anger and frustration, but I can deal with them more appropriately than I was. I'm able to go in and stop and rest and allow my body to just be in the moment. I've been able to be in a hot tub and sauna, be outside in the heat of an afternoon and not feel like I was going to lose my mind or pass out and drop on the ground.
I'm working to take care of myself, changing how I see things in my life and observing how I react. I want the reactions to be from a more mind and body centered approach than feeling like an unwilling participant. I'm focusing on the bigger picture of my life much more than I have been and seeing how all of this plays into where my life goes.
I'm monitoring how much I let in from the world that is full of screaming, anger, rage, and disrespect because the actions I see every day do nothing to help me in my own life. I'm allowing myself to disconnect from them and replace them with things that are genuinely helpful. I know that if I get caught up in the darkness of the day, it will do nothing positive for me.
Most of all, I feel better. I feel more empowered. I feel more centered. It is like there is now hope where I thought I had lost all hope.
I'm thankful for Unified Therapy and Dr. Paul Canali and what he knows and how he helps me. He is one of a kind. If there are others beyond him (and a few other practitioners) that can do what he does for me, I have not found them. He is a pioneer in the field of healing trauma.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, August 15, 2017
Fearing The Fear
Written By Don Shetterly
If you've read much on my blog, you'll see that this subject has been one of my most challenging experiences in my life. Fearing the fear consumed my life at one time, but over the years and through my healing, I've learned more how to deal with fear.
I am not going to sit here and write that fear is an easy thing for me to overcome. I'm not going to give you some platitude or meme that says you can wave a magic wand and be in control of fear. Those things are not helpful to healing and our growth. They are stumbling blocks if we subscribe to them.
When I was in a healing session the other day, I started to notice the little things where fear would come on strong in me. In these Unified Therapy healing sessions, we are encouraged to bring the fear up, not shove it down or hide from it or numb it. It is the time to bring it up.
The "oh no" mode...
For me that day, the office air conditioning kicking on sent the fear going sky high. It wasn't easy, and at first, I could notice my breath going into fear mode. I could feel my body begin to tense up. I could see that my mind was starting to go into the "oh no" mode. It felt like everything was going to come crashing down on me and that my life at that moment would come to an end.
Fearing the fear was where I was in that particular moment. There are reasons that all of this was coming up, but that detail is for another blog post. Just recognizing how strong the fear was getting and how much was coming at me, my body went into the defensive mode of survival.
In a Unified Therapy healing session, you don't stay in this moment. You are taken through it by Dr. Canali gently guiding you to feel in your body, sense what is going on, and remind yourself that it is fear, not the end of the world.
As you go in and begin to connect with the fear in your body, there are often emotions or physical sensations that appear as they did for me that day. The anger and pain surfaced. The emotions of sadness and grief showed up. The point of not being able to stop what had happened to me as a kid was the dynamite ready to ignite.
In this session, I also did one more thing, and that was telling myself that what happened to me many years ago is not happening now. Dr. Canali, of course, was coaching me through this, but just that realization in that particular moment was a big one for me. It helped me to connect reality with fear. It helped me to see that I feared the fear, but that the current reality was different.
Yes, there is a mental exercise in stopping how you deal with fear, but this approach that is so healing and empowering is body centered. If I didn't deal with what was going on in my body, it would be nothing more than platitudes about how to treat fear.
Most of the time in healing, we deal with fear from an intellectual mind-centered level. However, fear resides in the body, and if you fail to go in and touch the depths of it within the cells, you're only working with half the healing potential.
The further you can go in and feel it within the body, the more you will supercharge your healing. Healing from the core of your cells in the body is lasting and life changing.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, August 8, 2017
Hurtful Words Of Healing And Support
Written By Don Shetterly
Do we ever stop to think about what we say to others? Do we realize that sometimes our words are so hurtful even though we intend them to be healing? Obviously, these are rhetorical questions, but I am constantly amazed at how people can be so misguided when they think they are helping others.
If you've suffered from mental illness or depression and anxiety, you've probably heard the routine statements, "just get over it" and "just move on." These statements are so hurtful to others, and they do little to offer hope and healing for their lives.
I had one person tell me after I came out of the hospital from being paralyzed by a conversion disorder that I should have just prayed about it. I was stunned. However, I replied to them, "if you broke your arm, would you just have prayed about it?" Her answer was no.
Yet it doesn't stop people from engaging their vocal chords and disengaging their brain cells. I'm sorry if that sounds rough, but when people make these statements to others who are struggling, those statements are very harsh. They are hurtful. People are already going through enough without others piling on to the pain.
I do understand that sometimes we don't know what to say or how to say it. I do understand that sometimes it is uncharted ground that makes us fearful of saying the wrong thing.
The best thing you can do is to connect with your heart. I don't mean engage the brain first. I am advocating that you engage the heart first, then attempt to speak from the vocabulary in your brain.
If you can share experiences that help others connect with you, it can be helpful. Again, this must be done from your heart and not from your ego or brain. If it is heart centered, you are more in tune with what they need. It is never about what you need in this situation. It is about what support the other person needs. Be careful that it doesn't become about you and your experiences, but how those relate to their situation.
Many times, the issues we see in others connect to issues held deeply in our own lives. I often acknowledge their presence, but we should not inflict our own issues upon the other person needing support. Our issues are not their issues. Our issues should not be forced upon them. They need support at that moment, and if we offer it from our heart and our experiences, it will help them more than we know.
Let's stop being hurtful with our words in helping support someone. There's a good chance you will likely mess up at some point, but be honest and heartfelt. Be understanding if you are not getting your point across. Be understanding if they don't understand what it is that you can see.
In the moment of grief and despair, our eyes and our minds are not seeing clearly. Remember that, as you're offering words of support and healing to others. It will go a long way to truly offering to be there for someone and not inflicting emotional pain upon them through your words.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, August 3, 2017
Healing Is Too Much Sometimes
Written By Don Shetterly
Many years ago, my former therapist shared something with me before the last session I had with her since I was moving. She told me that many people just don't go far enough in therapy. They stop after a few sessions and feel that is enough when in reality they need to go further.
I have seen this time and time again with myself and others, not only people I know but clients I have had. It is just too darn easy to quit before you get to the point that you're healing those deep layers.
I know, it isn't easy healing. I know, it isn't easy going through pains of life and uncovering them. It is like a festered cut on your finger as you play in the salt mines. There is just no way that is going to feel good. It reminds me of a story from my own experiences.
For awhile, I was working at a fertilizer plant. It was easy to cut your finger, but because of the salt content, it was much harder to get your finger to heal. The salt just kept the wound open, and it would burn when the salt touched the exposed area of the cut on my finger. It wasn't until I was able to protect the cut or remove myself from this situation that it could finally heal.
Healing can be the same way. Sometimes it just hits us and feels like the festered wound of a cut soaking in salt. The thing is, if we continue to stay in that environment where we hunker down in the salt mines, we'll just keep causing more pain in life.
The layers of healing run deep. They took a long time to build up and they are not going to disappear overnight or over a few therapy sessions. We may trick ourselves into believing they will, but we will only be lying to ourselves.
When we experience things in life that are anything but good, we tend to bury them deep within our body and cells. Every year that goes by, we pour another layer of cement on them. After a time, the cement hardens and gets so thick that it becomes difficult at best, to get to them.
Yes, we can use a jackhammer and chip the layers of cement away, but the more years we have buried it, the deeper we must go. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes ask ourselves, what is the use in continuing through healing? Sometimes we think, this is more than I want to do and so we sit down to take a rest. Just make sure, you don't sit there for a rest for the rest of your life.
Yes, healing is not easy. There is a positive outcome as we get rid of the layers of past experiences we have endured. Sometimes to heal, time is required. It takes courage and determination.
Often it takes us saying that no matter what, we are not going to give up. We're not going to let anything stop us. Sometimes when we are at the point of saying "this is too much," it is then that we may just likely be on the edge of a major breakthrough. We won't know unless we keep going.
I've had those moments where I said, "this is too much" and I wanted to stop. In fact, there were times that I did stop. Life had a way of getting my attention and getting back to the point of seeking help that I needed. If I had listened to the parts of me that wanted to give up, I would have missed the breakthroughs in my healing.
Life is a journey. Life is about going in and reclaiming parts where life hurt us. Yes, healing is too much sometimes, but the alternative is to live a life of pain and heartbreak.
The alternative is to stay stuck in that which we so desperately want to let go. Healing is about digging through the layers and finding who we are, not what we experienced and done to us.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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