Seeing The Good In Mental Health Issues

By Don Shetterly

One of the things that I think depression and trauma do is alter the reality of how we perceive life.  Seeing the bad and the horror becomes commonplace.  Only seeing the struggle is what many do every day.

There are many that will sing the praises of happy thoughts or religious beliefs hoping to delay the what their mind tries to shove in front of them.  It is almost as if they have become so numb and disconnected, but have done so without authenticity.

No, I'm not saying that happy thoughts or religious beliefs don't have their place.  They are one thing that we turn to because the going has gotten so rough.  Sometimes they are the lifeline from one moment to the next.

However, if we're not careful, these thoughts and beliefs will do as much damage as the horror negative attacks we place on our lives.  They don't bring us into the body or the mind.  Instead, they keep us as far away as they can.

When the good stuff actually happens, we're so accustomed to feeling the negative and the horror, that we barely see the positive.  Sometimes we've got our mind set on happy thoughts and religious beliefs, that we still miss the positive impacting us.

It is too easy to slip right by the good happening in our life, and that's sad because after a life of depression, anxiety, horror and trauma, we need to see some silver linings.  If our mind and the body is stuck in neutral or in reverse, how will we ever travel the miles through the good that lies before us?

I believe from my own experiences and what I have seen in others, that we need to learn how to experience the full breadth of our emotional existence.  Whether it is negative thoughts, criticism, anger or happiness, love, and peace, we need the full range.

Without the full range, we're not fully human.  We are disconnecting and numbing parts of our life.  Without sadness, can you understand happy?  If you aren't in touch with anger, can you truly experience peace?  If you don't know what criticism is, does love fully make sense?

I'm not saying we stay in any one of these emotions, but we recognize them for what they are.  We look at them as having a place to help bring us further into awareness and consciousness, not remain disconnected and numb.

Finding our way through depression and mental health issues is challenging at best.  However, let us make sure we don't keep ourselves from seeing the good, not just the bad.  It is there if we allow ourselves to see it.  Closing our eyes will not make it appear.

Try to not forget the good with the bad.  You may need to consciously remind yourself to look for the good, but it is there.  Sometimes, it does take some effort to not let the negative completely take over our lives.

Suck It Up And Move On

Written By Don Shetterly

These words make my skin crawl with disgust for humanity.  When I see someone tell another person going through a difficult time to suck it up and move on, it saddens me.  Why on earth would you make this statement to anyone?

We all have our difficult moments and issues in our life.  Sometimes they are not easy to just move on to the next moment as if they didn't happen.  They are often complex and require little steps towards healing and moving on.

No one can tell another when they should move on.  If we have not walked in the shoes of another and we don't know what they are dealing with in their life.  In fact, even though it may appear to us that they are not moving on, they may, in fact, be making significant progress.  They may be taking big leaps when we cannot see it.

It is not up to us to be heartless and mean and uncaring to someone by telling them to suck it up and move on.  I believe this is about as low as you can get on being human.  Okay, there are other things much lower, but this ranks right down at the bottom of human consciousness.

Telling someone to suck it up means you're telling them to ignore what it is they are feeling or have experienced.  You're saying to those who are struggling that what they are going through does not matter.  Most likely how it makes you feel is more important than what they are going through at that moment.

When others are going through difficult moments, one of the worst things is to listen to people telling them to suck it up and move on.  In fact, that's a recipe for major health issues, mental health struggles like depression and anxiety and suicide.  It is a recipe for adding stress to your life and setting up moments in the future where you don't deal with things in a healthy way.

If you can't be there for the person with empathy and compassion, maybe the best thing to do is run along into the woods.  Perhaps it is a time for you to do some soul-searching about what it means to be human.  You're not helping anyone if you are making statements like this to others.  You're hurting them in ways you don't even understand.

(click to read the blog post)

The world needs those who are peaceful and loving.  We don't need more judgment and condemnation.  We need empathy and love, compassion and understanding.  The world needs us to show up for one another and help support each other as we walk through this journey of life.

Be human and stop telling others to suck it up and move on!  You'll be doing the world a big favor.  You will be impacting the world in a positive way.

Extend your arms of support to people.  Don't harm them more when they are facing difficult moments.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/21/17 by Don Shetterly

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How I Handled Christmas In 10 Steps

I'm writing this a year in advance.  In fact, Christmas Day 2016, was just yesterday.  Things are beginning to get back to normal.  Email and social media feeds are starting to liven up again.  Trash pickup just went by trying to collect everyone's trash from yesterday.  So, yeah, Christmas is over once again.

However, I thought I would write this because someone asked me if I would do anything different the next year.  I had written earlier that I struggled to deal with the holidays.  I'm one of those where the hurt and pain shows up with the fun and presents.

Growing up, my mom did her best to really go all out celebrating Christmas on a shoestring budget.  Yes, we were envious of our friends who got a lot of presents, but my mom tried to make it special in other ways.  From decorating Christmas cookies, to the food and candy she would make and to just decorating the house, it became a special day.

Unfortunately, in the midst of all of it there was a lot of stuff that hit the fan.  There were many moments that are painful and in fact so painful, that I can't even talk about them yet.  I've done a tremendous amount of healing and forgiveness but the stuff is there in too great of quantities.

So, when Christmas comes - it isn't easy.  The turmoil that hits me emotionally and in my mind feels like 200 MACK trucks hitting me at about 100 mph every second of every day.  It isn't easy.  Lord knows I've tried to find ways to deal with it, but it just is not easy.  If you're like I am, than this isn't news to you.

Here's some of the things I did in 2016 and I'm writing this to my future self so I'll remember what worked and what helped.

1. We were able to take a trip for a few days leading up to Christmas.  In that final week before Christmas, I truly struggle, and so this helped keep my mind off of dwelling on it.
2. I tried to slow down for December.  Even half of my normal speed is almost too much.  A few things to do can quickly and easily overwhelm me.  So, it's best to slow it down a lot!
3. I made sure that anything I wanted to get done to celebrate Christmas was done by the middle of the month.  I knew that the last week or two, I just needed to coast through it.  Any more than that and it was too much.
4. I reached out to my partner and tried to explain things about what I needed.  He was very loving and compassionate and worked with me.
5. I reached out to friends, and they were a support during this time.  In fact, I tried to help be there for them, and I think it helped me in the long run.
6. I recognized that this was a tough time and tried hard not to beat myself up for it.  It is the way it is, and there is no sense in shaming myself into what my "surreal concept" should be for Christmas.
7. I tried to get in extra exercise and activity by walking and worked to not let myself isolate from others or the outdoors.  Fortunately, I live in a warm climate, but just being outside in nature and the sun helped me greatly.
8. I looked for ways to be creative, but not necessarily that I had to complete a project.  Creativity helps me deal with life and stress and the past.  If I embrace it, it helps me.
9. I would look for moments of quietness and stillness to just take care of myself.  I didn't do this to hide or isolate, but to just give myself a chance to breathe.
10. I worked to help connect with my mind and body through awareness and breathing so I could give myself a boost in energy to deal with all the pain I was facing.

For the most part, these things helped.  Yes, I did get depressed.  Yes, I struggled with anxiety.  I already try to stay out of the stores right around the holiday because people are usually rude and inconsiderate.  It takes very little to push me over the edge.

I do avoid any parties because I just don't do well at this time.  On Christmas, I stay away from family functions because it is just too much for me to sort out.  A good video and downtime from the computer are far more welcomed to me than having to negotiate family pain.

These things help.  I just know that it isn't an easy time and I've learned it is okay to be okay with that.  The "beautiful family gatherings" may exist out there, but I know many who struggle with the pain it brings.  If we honor and respect where we are, what we can do and that we have so much going for us, it can make the days go a little easier.

What do you do to help yourself handle Christmas?  Leave a reply and let me know.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly

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Dealing With Panic Attacks

Written By Don Shetterly

Years ago, when I went through Conversion Disorder, I struggled with moments that the doctors hardly understood, let alone had terminology for.  I remember having a "panic attack", as it was called at the time, and given a pamphlet to be taken home to read.

The only thing is the panic attack was a symptom of a much larger condition.  Up to that point, the doctors had only diagnosed me with Multiple Sclerosis, which was later found to be wrong.  I would not know for some time that the diagnoses were Conversion Disorder, depression, and anxiety.  The doctors kept these things from me in those days.

We were all focused on getting to the point I could walk again, as I was paralyzed at that point.  The goal was to get me integrated back into my regular daily routine and activities as quickly as I could, but I'm not sure anyone thought it was possible.

Noise From A Yard Sale...

When I got home from the hospital, I remember waking up that first morning.  I heard a lot of people outside my door. Peering through the window, I noticed what appeared to be a yard sale by my neighbors.

This would be considered a reasonable thing by most people but all of the sudden, I would find myself shaking, crying, and struggling to catch my breath.  I was scared beyond belief.  I tried to hide on my couch, but the people's noises and talking would not stop.  I had no idea what was going on with me.  I felt as if I was going to die.  I didn't know what to do.

Calling my doctor, he prescribed medication for me and then I made the bold gesture of trying to go out and make it to the pharmacy.  I made it about two blocks before my legs were shaking so much and my breathing was to the point I felt like I was going to pass out.  Driving a stick-shift pickup was not easy, and I managed just to turn around and go back home.

Nothing was calming down.  My breathing was way off and challenging.  I felt so full of despair.  I finally called a co-worker friend to get the prescription for me.  The medication helped, but it knocked me out for hours.

Anxiety Took Me Down...

There would be many more times I'd have to deal with anxiety, from venturing outside my house to trying to get back to work, to going inside a store.  Anxiety would hit me hard and take me down quickly.

I learned to go without stimulants like sugar, coffee, chocolate, soft drinks and anything that might kick my body up.  While that helped, it wasn't the cure - but it helped.  I had many sessions of therapy where we would work through the anxiety issues, but it seemed as if they were never-ending.

Another thing I did was to keep a small rock in my pocket wherever I went.  I learned that if I felt a panic attack coming on, I could reach in my pocket without anyone knowing and just grab ahold of the rock.  To me, it felt grounding and safe so that even when my life felt out of control, the rock helped bring me back.

Would I Make It...

Life was a struggle.  It was difficult.  Normal things to other people were difficult life-challenging issues to me.  In those days, I wondered if I would ever make it.  I wondered if I would get beyond this and back to a normal life.

I have since learned so much more about how to deal with anxiety.  Even at times when it gets the best of me, it is nowhere to the level of full-blown panic attacks that it once was.  I have done so much intense and deep healing work using Unified Therapy that the anxiety is a fraction of what it once was.

While the mind plays a starring role in a panic or anxiety attack, the body is what generates it.  This is the most helpful revelation that I have found in my healing.  Ignoring the physical presence of why it is coming up makes it harder to deal with anxiety.  Dealing with what the cells of the body remember is where freedom and liberation from a whole new level takes place.

I never was one to accept a condition I had or a label handed to me.  I fought those hard, and I still do.  I know that if I latch on to the condition I was given, I see myself as that issue, not as potential for healing.  I desire healing.

I've fought the odds against so much that I was not supposed to conquer.  Even to this day, I do not accept where I am.  I'm always striving to push forward to places that too many believe do not exist.  As I heal more and more, I am finding that there is so much hope and possibility.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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How We Learned To Deal With Trauma

Written by Don Shetterly

When you grow up in situations where trauma and abuse along with emotional and mental manipulation are what you know, you never quite have a fighting chance early in life.  How we learned to deal with trauma and stress was anything but normal for us.

We were never given the tools to know what to do.  We were never taught how to deal with the situations in which we found ourselves.


We grew up learning to survive.  We grew up learning to find the way through what was happening to us in the best way we knew how.  We often were focusing our attention on that moment of abuse we were enduring.  There was no learning how to deal with the trauma, let alone the stress in our lives.

Many of us found coping mechanisms to escape what was being done.  Some of us just stuffed it deep down inside.  Some of us tried to match the pain through the self-inflicted harm we did to our bodies.  These were survival techniques we employed because we knew nothing else.

As life continued, we faced new stressors and situations in life.  The usual part of growing up in a world that is sometimes far too harsh presented more challenges.  Our early go-to techniques did not match up to what we needed for those moments, and so the trauma replayed over and over.  The stress continued to build.

Foreign Invaders Of Our Mind and Body...

Regardless, we knew we had found a way to survive through all the abuse and trauma we had once endured, so we didn't give up.  We kept fighting.  We kept trying to figure it all out, but far too often, our insight was formed because of what we had to do to survive.  What we needed to do for our body and our mind became foreign invaders that we did not trust.

As we get to our current day, the techniques that once served us well and how we survived now fall short.  They exhaust us because they no longer do what we need for them to do.  We struggle, and we fight.  Some of us fall victim to this through suicide, cutting, chronic conditions, conversion disorder, anxiety, depression and a whole host of other outcomes.

Healing is not easy.  Learning to deal with trauma and stress without the necessary tools is an epic challenge.  I know in my own life that I had to see the things which once helped me survive no longer serve a useful purpose.  In their place, I needed to find new tools that would help.

When you have been through abuse and trauma, you become the parent to yourself and so starts the journey of learning how to deal with all of this.  You become the teacher and the student at the same time.  We did not learn to deal with trauma or stress, and now it impacts every facet of our lives.

This is where support of others who have been through this comes in to help.  It is where therapists and qualified practitioners that know how to walk through the fires of trauma and abuse help our healing.  It is where the process of healing, little by little, unfolds and helps awaken us to more of who we are, that we have hidden all these years.

Learning to deal with trauma and abuse is not something that is easy.  It is a challenge on our best days, and a horror filled nightmare on our worst days.

I have found in my own life that regardless of what was done to me and what I went through, I can heal and thrive and conquer so much of what was done to me.  I will not say it is easy.  I will not say it is a quick process, but I know it is one that I'm winning.

I have learned that to heal, I must feel in my body and that the more I can safely do this, the more I comprehend.  The trauma and abuse were stored in our body, and for me to fully heal all that was done, the body is at the center of these endeavors.

Yes, I have my good days and my bad days, but my life now is much more hopeful and full of possibility than it once was.  I know that even though I never learned to deal with trauma and abuse as a kid, I'm now coming to a greater understanding of what that means for my own life.  There is hope and possibility through trauma.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Turning Over Stones In Life

Written By Don Shetterly

Back in the early days when I found out I had Conversion Disorder, I was struggling and fighting for my life.  I was struggling not only to survive but to figure out how to function.

The paralysis started to get better, but my legs and body were weak.  My memory had gone, so remembering anything required me to write it down on a piece of paper, or it was like I was not even aware of it.  Anxiety attacks had become my best friend.  Depression and suicide were my goals.

I had no hope that anything would get better.  I wasn't sure how it would.  I was stuck in the pain and fear of a cycle that had been playing out for many years.  The only thing is I was a participant in all that was going on in my life.

When I read the limited stuff I could find about Conversion Disorder, I saw that it will probably ease and subside.  However, the chances of it showing up again were pretty high, and subsequent attacks were more the norm.  That was what the literature showed in some study that I have misplaced now.

It was pure torture every day...

In my mind, I wanted to give up and die.  The daily struggle was difficult.  I had a family turn against me.  I was fighting to re-enter life again and function in a job so I could exist.  There was nothing fun about my life at that moment.  It was pure torture every day.

I was not prepared to accept what the medical establishment would say was the outcome and prognosis of my future days.  I was not prepared to accept that I would struggle daily with anxiety attacks, depression, and suicide attempts.  I was not prepared to stay on medication forever and ever.

Yet, I had no idea how to get out of this.  I knew of no way to go from where I was at that moment to where my mind thought was possible.  I felt like giving up.  I felt like the struggle was just too much.

Something kept me going...

Something inside kept me from giving up.  Something kept me going.  Something deep inside of me kept telling me it was possible to heal and make it.

I started to look at what others were doing and looked for the moments within them that helped them.  Yes, there is plenty that people do which is not helpful, but I tried to see beyond that moment.  I tried to find the reality and authenticity of what was helping to make them better.

I started to turn over every stone in my path and find anything that helped.  I turned over many stones.  Not all of the stones were helpful to me, and sometimes it exhausted me.  Every now and then I would come across one stone that really helped me, and I would study it, learn from it and embrace it.  The stones that didn't help, I would try to push to the side of the path where others had placed similar stones.

Sometimes I needed a rest...

Sometimes I would find a resting place along my path and sit down for awhile, since I had no more energy to go on and I had no more will to fight.  It was those moments, I learned, that were necessary for me to continue.

Even through the most difficult and darkest of moments, something deep inside kept me going.  Often it was a small little pilot light that burned, but somehow I knew it was there.  I knew there was a spark within me waiting to ignite and propel me forward.

I never accepted any condition by any doctor as being the sole source of my health and well-being.  I knew there was more and I was not about to let anyone tell me that the condition I was in was the way things would be.  I fought tooth and nail most days, but I knew that I had to keep going.

I had to keep searching, for the alternative to continuing my journey was a life that was more frightening than I realized.  My evidence was Conversion Disorder, and I was not about to go back to those moments where my life almost ended.

I pass on to those who struggle to not give up where you are in the journey.  I realize the fight is hard.  I realize it is exhausting.  I realize it is easy to give up.

Don't give up!

Don't stop!

Turn over every stone you find in your path until you find one that propels you forward and then ride it for as long as you can.  Let it help you find the next stone to turn over and take you forward in your life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Hurtful Words Of Healing And Support

 Written By Don Shetterly

Do we ever stop to think about what we say to others?  Do we realize that sometimes our words are so hurtful even though we intend them to be healing?  Obviously, these are rhetorical questions, but I am constantly amazed at how people can be so misguided when they think they are helping others.

If you've suffered from mental illness or depression and anxiety, you've probably heard the routine statements, "just get over it" and "just move on."  These statements are so hurtful to others, and they do little to offer hope and healing for their lives.

I had one person tell me after I came out of the hospital from being paralyzed by a conversion disorder that I should have just prayed about it.  I was stunned.  However, I replied to them, "if you broke your arm, would you just have prayed about it?"  Her answer was no.

Yet it doesn't stop people from engaging their vocal chords and disengaging their brain cells. I'm sorry if that sounds rough, but when people make these statements to others who are struggling, those statements are very harsh.  They are hurtful.  People are already going through enough without others piling on to the pain.

I do understand that sometimes we don't know what to say or how to say it.  I do understand that sometimes it is uncharted ground that makes us fearful of saying the wrong thing.

The best thing you can do is to connect with your heart.  I don't mean engage the brain first.  I am advocating that you engage the heart first, then attempt to speak from the vocabulary in your brain.

If you can share experiences that help others connect with you, it can be helpful.  Again, this must be done from your heart and not from your ego or brain.  If it is heart centered, you are more in tune with what they need.  It is never about what you need in this situation.  It is about what support the other person needs.  Be careful that it doesn't become about you and your experiences, but how those relate to their situation.

Many times, the issues we see in others connect to issues held deeply in our own lives.  I often acknowledge their presence, but we should not inflict our own issues upon the other person needing support.  Our issues are not their issues.  Our issues should not be forced upon them.  They need support at that moment, and if we offer it from our heart and our experiences, it will help them more than we know.

 

Let's stop being hurtful with our words in helping support someone.  There's a good chance you will likely mess up at some point, but be honest and heartfelt.  Be understanding if you are not getting your point across.  Be understanding if they don't understand what it is that you can see.

In the moment of grief and despair, our eyes and our minds are not seeing clearly.  Remember that, as you're offering words of support and healing to others.  It will go a long way to truly offering to be there for someone and not inflicting emotional pain upon them through your words.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Today, I Know

(Written by Marie Davino)

I have been in some kind of therapy or other since I was 18, due to a difficult and dysfunctional family life as a child. In addition, I was bullied at school and had an eating disorder that became a lifelong struggle.

It has, at times, been a rough and very rocky road to say the least.  I knew that I had experienced some kind of abuse, but the memories of it were incomplete or vague. That made it difficult  for me to know for sure if I actually was molested… and to let it go.

The questions were always, “what if”, “what really happened”, or “who was this person?”  These questions haunted me, and were always in the back of my mind. I tried to recover the memory in different ways with different therapies over the years to no avail. I finally decided I would have to be ok with not ever knowing…until recently.

I worked with my last therapist for ten years, and he was wonderful. I will always be grateful for the work we did together and for the time and effort he gave to help me heal my past wounds. I reached a point where I was very happy, had left it all behind me, and felt my life was quite fulfilling for many years…and then, the bottom dropped out. I felt myself spiraling into a depression that  I could not express or understand. I tried my best to manage it with all of the tools I had learned over the years. Nothing was working.

That was when I found Jim Fazio and Unified Therapy. I began to work with him, and reached a level of trust so quickly that I was able to explore the reasons for the depression I was experiencing in great depth.  It is difficult to describe how the sessions go, but I can say there is very little talking, no advice or judgment, and all mind-body work in a safe, relaxing environment.

The sessions were intense and powerful... after each session was over, when I allowed myself to let go, I felt an overwhelming peace and joy that I had not experienced for a very long time. It was progressing so quickly that after a few months the memory became clearer… until one session when the answer came… I knew it was real, where the existing memory was leading, and that it happened.

The next morning, this poem was written in my mind in a matter of minutes, and I had to write it down.

Today, I Know

(c) 2017 By Marie Davino

Today I see the world through different eyes
Yesterday it was maybe, probably.
Maybe.
Today I know
Yesterday it was how could someone do that to a child
Today it is how could someone do that to my child
Yesterday I wondered why? (I suffocate!)
Why? (I can't breathe!) why? (I can't speak!)
Why? (Did I make this up?)
Today I know
The Angels gentle message
Floating on an ocean full of tears
drowning out my screams
Buried in sand up to my nose, hide my face from horror.
Can't move, can't breathe, why? (No one hears me.)
Today I know.
Paul sings it was far away… but it was here all along
He sings it will stay forever, but now I know
I will fight till I can let it go
These words of a million wounded souls, spoken a million times
Nothing new here...I am just one more broken heart to heal.
Freezing cold. Burning up.
No more shadows. No more darkness. No more silence. Today I weep.
Today I bathe in the soft lightness of mourning
In the gentle hands that hold me
Because now, I know.
Tomorrow I will see the world through different eyes.

I am sharing my experience on Mind Body Thoughts because through my work with Jim Fazio I found Don, and we have become good friends. What he writes on his blog is courageous, open, and honest, and helps me find the courage I need to continue to heal through some very difficult times. Many thanks to Don, for sharing so much of his life with us so we can see there is always hope…and to Jim, for holding on tight and going through the darkness with me.

- Marie

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Jim Fazio, LMT, CSI, UTP

Website:   Integrative Bodywork, Inc.

Activating the Brain-Body Connection for Healing.

Promote Health and Wellness, not disease and illness

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Marie

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Saying I Love Myself

I know this blog post may sound funny to some and if it does, well... have a chuckle about it.  Unfortunately for the naysayers, this is a concept I use and it does work for me.

Saying "I love myself" is a very healing concept.

I got the idea from watching Marlee Matlin play the role in the What The Bleep Do We Know movie.  In one scene, she was writing "I Love You" on her body.  I thought that was a very powerful scene.

I have been through rashes and other situations where very little helped to heal my body. I've struggled with depression and anxiety and suicide.  Sometimes, not very much helps or works at that moment.

One thing I do is start saying "I Love You" to myself.  If there is a body part that is affected, I start looking at it and saying, "I Love You".  If it is just about life in general, I will repeat these words, "I Love You".

Now, I know it seems silly and probably ridiculous to do this.  Yet if you read the book by Masaru Emoto, The Hidden Messages Of Water, you will see that this has great merit to it.

The voices that laugh at me...

Often when I try to tell myself or a body part that "I Love You", I hear my own background voices laughing at me.  They try to tell me just how silly this is.  They try to tell me how stupid I am to believe that love is even possible let alone what I am doing.

I've learned to not silence those voices in the background, but acknowledge them. If you push them to the back and ignore them, they only grow stronger.  If you acknowledge them and send love to them, you're winning the battle against them.

What I've seen with this concept is that I have seen rashes ease up and heal.  I've seen my depression and anxiety lift.  I've seen my own mind be changed from suicidal thoughts.

Is this a quick fix?  Not always.  Sometimes I see results quickly, but at other times I have to do this for a time before my mind and body actually begin to listen to it.

Repeat to get myself to hear it...

Often times, I have to repeat this over and over to myself before I get myself to listen to it.  It isn't easy to hear and it isn't always easy to do.  However, it is very effective.

Many years ago when I was struggling to come to terms with some of the horrible abuse memories I was dealing with, I used one of Shaina Noll's songs, How Could Anyone, to help me.  I would play this morning and night in the privacy of my home where no one could hear me, and I would sing the words.  Most of the time, I'd be crying hysterically by the time I got done.  However, after several weeks of this, I could tell it had a profound impact on me.

Whatever situation you are going through in life or whatever you have had to deal with, one of the things that we often need to do is to learn to love ourselves.  That's a rough part of healing, but saying "I Love You" in whatever form that works for you can be so healing.

It most likely may be something you will need to repeat often because when we've been hurt or tortured or abused, the last thing we believe is that we can be loved.  This is just one of the things that has helped me heal what I thought would never change.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Depression And Medical Marijuana

(by Jody, Mental Health Matters)

Many people experience depression and often try to treat it with anti-depressants or other related medications. Some are weary of medications and stick strictly to therapy and yet others find the combination of the two the way to go.

Treatment is highly individualistic and often becomes a game of trial and error. There are people who also seek alternative medicine in the form of medical marijuana. It has been legal for a few years here in Canada to get a medical marijuana card and there are numerous physical conditions which may qualify you, however, with the legalization of marijuana upcoming in Canada in 2018, the debate over its use for mental health purposes rages on.

This deliberation has been ongoing for centuries, and it is reported that as early as 1621doctors in India were using cannabis in the treatment of depression, and in 1887 an American physician and professor celebrated the ability of cannabis to subdue restlessness and anxiety.

Marijuana first entered my life when I was about 12 years old, and my mother was going through chemotherapy from breast cancer. The side effects in the 1980’s were beyond description as compared to today and after each treatment came days of sickness and severe nausea. The medications prescribed to treat the side effects caused their own problems, often worse than the ones from the chemotherapy.

She had gotten a new, young oncologist who had suggested that marijuana had been known to help with nausea and if she was open to the idea, to give it a shot. So, I got some cannabis for my mom and we started at first by adding it to her protein shakes, then using it in baked goods and we noticed not only less nausea but an increase in appetite as well.

The doctor also noted that certain strains would help with the anxiety and depression that comes with being terminally ill, and so we played around until we found a combination that helped to ease some of those symptoms as well. That is just my story and I am not endorsing the use of cannabis nor am I speaking against it, I am just speaking from my experience.

There does not appear to be enough conclusive evidence of its efficacy or lack thereof, in the treatment of certain mental illnesses as of yet, and in most cases, it still does not have the backing of most physicians due to the controversy surrounding marijuana’s role in depression because of a seemingly consistent correlation between the two. Of the studies that have been done, many seem to reach the same conclusion; that it is unlikely that cannabis itself leads to depression, and more likely that those who suffer from depression and anxiety use marijuana to self-medicate.

In fact, some researchers have found that low doses of cannabis increased serotonin levels in the brain, which helps to improve mood, while higher doses of cannabis tended to increase symptoms of depression because the serotonin levels were depleted.  There is also the theory that cannabis has been shown to improve depressive symptoms by stimulating the endocannabinoid system and its receptors which are located in the brain and are involved in a variety of physiological processes including appetite, pain-sensation, mood, and memory. Cannabis may also have less or milder side effects as compared to many of the anti-depressants prescribed.

Pro cannabis people say that as long as the strain is correct and the dosage is accurate, marijuana can be a very effective treatment for stress, depression and anxiety by allowing the person to either focus on the situation objectively or by offering peace of mind enough to forget it for a while. It can be used in a hurry by smoking or vaping or maintained with patches, capsules or edibles.

Best of all, withdrawal symptoms are comparatively minor and it does not require a weaning off process as compared to most anti-depressants., however, as it stands, there simply isn't enough research to assert that cannabis definitively improves depression.

Depending on the strain and the dosage, the effects of cannabis on mental disease is largely variable, but that doesn't mean that marijuana shouldn't be used to treat depression and anxiety if the individual prefers it. In much the same way a person is encouraged to shop around for the ideal antidepressant, so, too, should they be allowed to choose cannabis.


Personally, I have dabbled with different cannabis strains for my depression as much as I have had to dabble with multiple depression medications before finding something that works. Treatment is completely individualistic and you should do whatever works for you and if cannabis is a part of that treatment plan then you should have the right to choose that option.



Jody (Jody's Blog)

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Jody

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Sinning Does Not Cause Depression Or Anxiety

I couldn't believe it when I read it.  I mean, come on - there's enough people hurting in the world without trying to make up stuff that isn't true.  Depression and anxiety are very real things that many have to deal with every day.

It pains me to see anyone that suffers from depression or anxiety have to live with the ignorance that is out there on this subject.  Today though, took the cake!  It was a horrible display and makes me absolutely sick.

In the comment I read as you can see here in the image to the right, they said that depression and anxiety was caused by sinning.  Its strictly a religious thing to them.  Now, the people that made this claim are holier than thou religious people.  I get that, but it still doesn't excuse it under any circumstances!


Unfortunately these people have no clue what biology is about or what mental health issues truly involve.  They must think that medicine and science are woo woo and that their misinterpreted views of religion are the only truth out there.  In fact, I know that's how they see things.  Of course, they are allowed to hold whatever beliefs they want, but when someone starts forcing it down others in their time of distress, then I've got big issues with people like this.

I grew up in this mindset and remember when I went through Conversion Disorder, I got some of this same stuff shoved at me.  One lady told me that I didn't need to go to the hospital, I just needed to pray about it.  Never mind that I was paralyzed and could not walk.  Of course, she was speechless when I looked at her and said, "If you broke your arm, would you just pray about it or would you go to the doctor?"  You see, these people sometimes don't engage the brain cells before they open their mouth.  I know, that's a harsh statement, but sometimes you can really hurt others with these misguided words.

Anxiety and depression are real.  Suicide is real.  I've been through both and praying to God didn't cure that because it was physical and biological conditions.  You can act as if they aren't real, but just because you don't think they are real, doesn't mean you are correct!

Sometimes our words are not only ignorant, but they are hurtful.  Imagine a person that is struggling to just make it through a day and you spew your unfounded beliefs upon them like this.  It could just be the last straw in their life.  They may say enough and find a way to end things.  Your words do far more damage than you may think at times.

This is plain ignorance in my view and it angers me when I read this stuff.  If you believe in God, I would think you would surely believe that he created all things, including doctors.  Sometimes, it is better to not just claim you know something, but be silent and let the professionals help the ones that need help.  Let the compassionate people care for others and just go over into your little cave in the ground and hide for another century.

So many people deal with depression and anxiety.  They have had to be strong for far too long without any escape and it isn't an easy road dealing with it or trying to heal your life and find your footing.  Its tough at the very least.

I've been through anxiety, depression, and suicide.  I know what it is like to freak out in a store or in a car.  I know what it is like to struggle in an elevator or an enclosed room.  I know what it is like to deal with the anxiety attacks that just come out of nowhere from the slightest trigger you can't even see.

I know what depression feels like and how lonely and lost you can get.  I know the despair, the pain and the misery.  I know just how difficult it is to keep going in a day when nothing matters and  you could care less.  It is not just a temporary sadness, but something that goes much deeper.

I know what suicide is like.  I've struggled far too many times to do it and fortunately I was never successful.  When you get in those moments, nothing else matters, but comments such as the one above do nothing to help.  Suicide is a horrible moment where all that matters is hanging on long enough to make it through to the next moment.


Our words can hurt.  Our religious piety does no good for other humans.  If we truly want to help others, we need to listen with our hearts and minds.  We need to be there without judgment and condemnation.  We need to treat them as they are human, not as they are less than.

Stop the judgment of anxiety and depression and suicide, because they are real things that people have to deal with.  They aren't a punchline to get more people into your church!  Be a force of love and compassion to people, helping them find their way in this difficult world.  Don't add to their pain.  Show them love and compassion.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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