Tuesday, August 4, 2015

We Need To Talk About Suicide

We live in a world where we want to ignore the painful and difficult topics.  We live in a world where we don't want to utter those negative words and bad thoughts.  We live in a world where suicide is nothing but a taboo subject.

In some places if you even come close to admitting your suicidal, by law certain professional groups are required to report you.  Then, they put you in a mental ward of a hospital to hopefully get treatment.  The thing is from what I know from ones that this happened too, there is no treatment.  If you consider drugging someone to keep them alive treatment, okay - but I just don't see that as treatment.

Suicide is real.  It happens all too often.  It shocks the survivors and leaves them standing in disbelief.  No one can comprehend what happened.  Everyone feels sad and as if there was something they should have done, seen, or helped intervene with that person.  Suicide sucks.  Suicide is a horrible nightmare.

I know first hand because I've tried too many times.  Fortunately I was never successful and there was always a friend, an angel, or some other event that stopped it.  In those moments, I didn't care about living.  I didn't care about anyone who would be sad if I was gone.  I could not care.   The pain was greater than most will ever know or understand.

In times of suicidal thoughts, your thoughts are not rational.  You are not in a place where you can see things clearly.  No one or no person really matters.  You don't even matter to yourself.  It seems like it is the only logical way out.  It seems like it is the answer.

Reality is clouded and judgement is faded when you are suicidal.  Nothing is clear and no matter what is said, nothing makes sense.  It is like you take on a side of yourself that is no longer living.  It sucks.  It is depressing.  It is a never ending feeling.

Sure we talk about helping others and being there for others, but often too many are just too busy for others.  Sure, we talk about the selfishness of someone taking their life, but we don't understand what it is that they are going through.  Sure, we talk about how much we care, but only when it is convenient for our life.

So many of us in this world carry so much pain and baggage around that we can only be there for others in a way that offers very little.  We give our nod of positive thoughts and happy sayings on social media, but we are really not there for them.  We are really not 100% there with them, fighting through the fog and acting as their only support during those moments.

I am thankful for those in my life who have been there for me.  They were there in moments without any judgement or fake words of encouragement.  They were just there for me in pure love and acceptance.  They held me.  They cried with me.  They stayed with me and I knew that if I meant that much to them, then maybe I could hang on for a few more moments until the fog lifted.

Suicide is a horrible nightmare for the dead and for the living.  It isn't easy.  There are no quick fixes.  Someone who is suicidal doesn't need a lecture.  They don't need judgement or condemnation.  They don't need false innuendo or fancy words.  They just need to feel the strongest form of love that you can offer.  They need to know that you will stick with them through this moment and that you will not leave no matter how much they try to push you away.

We need a serious discussion on suicide because it is all too real.  We need a serious discussion of being real with one another and not pasting on a happy thought to our smiles.  We have to be real with one another.  We have to truly care and have compassion for one another.

There are times when some will lose the battle to suicide because life has become too overwhelming.  We are in times of life where the struggles are great and the answers are few.  We must hold together as humans with all the love, compassion, and caring we can find to help even the weakest among us, survive another day.

Blog Post And Images (c) 7/28/15 by Don Shetterly

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