Tuesday, September 25, 2018

I'm Perplexed By People

By Don Shetterly
I'm perplexed by people.  So often, I hear people say they "care" or they "love" or they are "concerned" about you or someone else.  It all sounds heartfelt.  It feels like you could take those statements to the bank.

However, it doesn't take long before you start to see the cracks in the statements people make. You soon come to realize with much pain that the statements are nothing more than words.  There is no action to back them up.  There is no follow through.  They are just words that give the impression that people mean what they say.

I don't do this!


Of course, I'm sure most people would claim, I don't do this.  It is other people out there that do such things.  They make it convincible.  You want to believe them, but eventually, you learn that their words mean little.

It hurts when people do this because I try to take people at what they say.  I listen to them, and I try to believe that if they are saying they love me or care about me or are concerned, they mean it.  Yes, I know, it is easy to be fooled.

Meaningless Words


You can't just say these words and follow them up with inaction.  Speaking these phrases holds some responsibility.  Without truly showing that you care or love someone or are concerned, these words are meaningless.  They become weapons of pain inflicted upon others.

There are times that maybe it is best if you say nothing.  If you are not prepared to follow through, then don't throw your words around as if they have little value.  It cheapens you and the pain it inflicts upon others, cheapens them.

Don't be misled by the fact that you think everyone else does this because more than likely, you do not see yourself in a truth-filled way.  Yes, you might convince that you see things correctly, but it would serve humanity's best interest if you got a second opinion.

Let Us Be There For Others


After all, we are humans walking this earth plane together.  If we are truly there for others, it helps all of us.  If we inflict pain or stand opposed, we hurt the totality of humanity.  Let's be for helping others and truly being there for them, not only in our words but in our actions.




Monday, September 17, 2018

FREE BOOK On Amazon Kindle

Hey, this goes out to everyone reading this.  For this week only (until Friday, September 21 at 11:59 PM PDT), my book is free.

Yep, no gimmicks and nothing special needed to get it. 

You can download thKindlele version on Amazon for free. 

After September 21, it will go back to regular price.

Title:  Hope And Possibility Through Trauma.

Available on Amazon.

Click Here

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Hurricanes And Fake Concern


Much like many things in this world, there is so much fake concern these days.  Hurricanes and fake concern are no different.  Think about the statement, "thoughts and prayers," and you'll know where I'm going with this post.

No, I'm not saying that all people do this or all statements of concern should be stopped.  That could not be further from the truth.

The point I'm writing about is when people you have not heard from in like a gazillion years come out of the woodwork.  The concern may be real to them, but many going through the stress of a devastating hurricane about to hit, it rings hollow.

Last year when Hurricane Irma came through, my email inbox was flooded with notes from people I had not heard from in so long that I thought they were no longer kicking.  It shocked me first of all because outside of the storm, they didn't care about what I was doing.

In fact, in one instance, I replied with what had been going on in my life, and they wanted nothing to do with that.  It was nothing but a fake concern.  Their words held no true concern.

In many instances, I had some contacts freaking out that this storm was coming.  I don't know if they had been glued to the TV news or what, but normally there's enough stress without adding to it.  I can generally stay a little calm until it hits.  These individuals were freaking me out to the point where their emails were becoming toxic.

I know I talked to many others and they have shared similar stories.  No, I'm not saying don't share words of concern and support.  However, if you're going to do that, check your anxiety and freak out moments at the door.

Make your emails authentic.  Don't act hysterically.  I will tell you without a doubt that the stress of a storm coming is not easy.  It builds with uncertainty.  It builds with trying to make sure you have everything ready, and you're prepared.  Let's not forget about how exhausting all of this can be.  When you don't know what is going to happen, the stress of that is extremely high.

We've got storms coming up, and for someone, it will get quite stressful.  I'm not a big believer in donating to the major organizations because I don't think that money gets to the people that need it.  The government comes in and promises all kinds of assistance but generally falls short.  I've heard far too many horror stories in those situations.  Maybe there is good that comes out of it, but I've not seen that yet.  I'm always open to good stories if they exist.

If you know someone in the path of these storms, be supportive.  Don't freak out because they need someone that can be calm.  See if they need help or if they know of others needing help so any support can get to the people that need it.

Be mindful that the TV news usually hypes up these storms.  They make the radar graphics look more ominous.   The cameras usually head to the worst hit areas.  So, what you see on the news (over and over and over again) may not be the whole story.

Also keep in mind that if someone is without power, trying to constantly text them could be draining the previous power they have on their phones.  When cell towers are out, the phones take more power to try and reach cell service.  It drains the phone quicker.  It isn't a time to carry on long conversations with someone in a storm area.

Plus, when there is no power, and the heat and humidity are so high, it is all you can do to function.  Exhaustion level goes up because sleep is not easy to get.  Read Hurricane Stress On The Mind Body.

One final thought, if someone you know has been hit, don't think that when the coverage of storm stops on TV that all is great.  There are people in Houston still struggling to make it each day in their lives as they try to piece their lives back together - over a year later!

By the way, if you live in a Hurricane prone area or just want emergency lighting for power outages, here's a light some friends told me about, and it works great.  They hold a charge for a long time and are very bright.  All it takes to recharge them is put them out in the sunlight for a few hours.








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