I'm Perplexed By People

By Don Shetterly

I'm perplexed by people.  So often, I hear people say they "care" or they "love" or they are "concerned" about you or someone else.  It all sounds heartfelt.  It feels like you could take those statements to the bank.

However, it doesn't take long before you start to see the cracks in the statements people make. You soon come to realize with much pain that the statements are nothing more than words.  There is no action to back them up.  There is no follow through.  They are just words that give the impression that people mean what they say.

I don't do this!

Of course, I'm sure most people would claim, I don't do this.  It is other people out there that do such things.  They make it convincible.  You want to believe them, but eventually, you learn that their words mean little.

It hurts when people do this because I try to take people at what they say.  I listen to them, and I try to believe that if they are saying they love me or care about me or are concerned, they mean it.  Yes, I know, it is easy to be fooled.

Meaningless Words

You can't just say these words and follow them up with inaction.  Speaking these phrases holds some responsibility.  Without truly showing that you care or love someone or are concerned, these words are meaningless.  They become weapons of pain inflicted upon others.

There are times that maybe it is best if you say nothing.  If you are not prepared to follow through, then don't throw your words around as if they have little value.  It cheapens you and the pain it inflicts upon others, cheapens them.

Don't be misled by the fact that you think everyone else does this because more than likely, you do not see yourself in a truth-filled way.  Yes, you might convince that you see things correctly, but it would serve humanity's best interest if you got a second opinion.

Let Us Be There For Others

After all, we are humans walking this earth plane together.  If we are truly there for others, it helps all of us.  If we inflict pain or stand opposed, we hurt the totality of humanity.  Let's be for helping others and truly being there for them, not only in our words but in our actions.

Flowery Words Without Substance

Written by Don Shetterly

So many times I see online statements from people that are pretty, but that's where it ends.  It isn't online only either as the media and leaders and speakers of our day do the same thing.  Flowery words without substance are in abundance.

Is it wrong to use beautiful words, memes, and positive thoughts?  No, of course not.  We need them to add some spice to our lives.  However, without substance, they are not all that helpful.

Consider this tweet I wrote as I think it sums up what I am trying to say.

Just be down to earth on what you say online. Flowery words that say nothing do very little for anyone. They may sound pretty but often they are void of real substance. #MindBodyThoughts

— Don Shetterly (@mindbodythought) February 23, 2018

I find the thing that helps the most in a day is when we are real and authentic.  When we offer our hand of support to another, we're really adding to a day.  When we are vulnerable and share our life's experiences of what has helped us, we do far more than flowery words ever will do.

We fill up social media with happy thoughts while we often ignore and obliterate the pain that someone is feeling.  Our words become like unhinged swords that take out everything in their path.

Be down to earth.  Show others you really care by your words that come from deep within your consciousness and heart.  These days, the words tend to come out, but the actions and other moments mock what is being said.

We can do so much for others if we find grounding in our life, not what we are putting on display every day for the world to see.  Be part of the consciously connected help in a day, not just the mind-numbed repeats of what is done.

The world needs authentic people.  The world needs us to be down to earth.

Do You Want To Be Concsious Online?

Written By Don Shetterly

I'm sitting here in frustration at the moment watching what happens online every day.  I see it and keep hoping it will change, but the needle seems to be going in the negative direction.  So, I'm left to wonder, do people want to be conscious?

Somedays, it seems like social media is nothing more than a rant about political beliefs.  The world could be ending in this very second, and all anyone seems to care about is the latest tirade on Twitter or the grabbing headline of the day.  There is no in-depth analysis.  It is what people hear that they regurgitate no matter how hard they try to convince others they make up their own minds.  Sorry, the evidence shows the contrary.

People want to be concerned about mental health, depression, suicide and anxiety among other health situations.  I applaud this.  I think it needs to be talked about, but far too often it means nothing more than a retweet or like on social media.  The conversation doesn't continue.  It only ticks up the counters in the tweet or post.  I see this in stuff especially about suicide I have posted.  It gets clicks, but that's as far as it goes.

What does it matter?

There are so many games played online with people where if you click this, I'll follow you back.  Oh look, I can buy more followers.  Oh look, people, see how much I can spend online to get a lot of retweets, likes, and comments.  At the end of the day, what does that matter?  What have you accomplished that changed your life or the world?

Don't you dare say anything that doesn't fit into everyone's beliefs because it would be too uncomfortable if we could discuss with someone who holds opposing thoughts?  It doesn't matter if it is hot-button issues or simple things, I've seen the sudden drop online because of it.  I don't necessarily look for those that agree with me, but I just look for those that respect others.  We can hold differing viewpoints, but we're still fellow humans traveling on this earth.

Many people online act as if they have the only answer.  They are the experts.  They know the truth.  There is nothing else or anything that they could possibly entertain.  So, once again I ask, do people want to be conscious?

Some give lip service...

I really wonder if people do because I see very few that attempt to do this.  Some give lip service to it.  Some make it appear they do, but it is the same thing as if you have a glass house thinking no one can see inside.

It isn't about what other people want and what they do either.  It is about each one of us and what we want.  Do you want to be conscious?  Are you willing to go the distance and be conscious?  Are you ready to step away from all you know, all you have been taught and your beliefs to be conscious?

I mean, are you ready to challenge everything you know and drop what no longer serves you?  No, I don't say you do this if it agrees with you, but if it makes you uncomfortable.  I mean, if it makes you question things that are not easy.  It is where we begin to find consciousness.  We do not find it in the safety of our routine lives.

Diminished what was written...

I posted something about the topic of what is truth.  One person immediately without reading it said it is a religious thing.  They did not even entertain what the blog post was about but was so quick to state their belief rather than be informed.  They diminished what was written by their own unconsciousness.  They were not showing love or compassion or understanding.

So, once again I ask, Do you want to be conscious?  I'm not going to let anyone off the hook on this blog post.  I know this is a hard question.  I know we want to say, of course, we do, but in all reality - is that true?

I too struggle with this daily, and I think that is a good thing.  If you want to be conscious, but you don't wade into the water, you may need to work on being more honest with yourself.  See, we fool ourselves into thinking that we are more than what we are.  We kid ourselves into believing that we have everything together while we hide and ignore, numb and disconnect to what is the truth around us.

Deeper than we currently see...

Consciousness is not just a thought process.  It means being connected to our mind, body, emotions, thoughts, and the higher spiritual side of where we fit in this world.  Consciousness is not just a meme we retweet or the fake smile we paste on our face.  It is more than spouting our own beliefs as if everyone else should think like us.  It is deeper than we currently see and if we think we are conscious, we most likely are a long way off.

Consciousness means we go in and become aware of all parts of our life, even the most uncomfortable ones.  Where fear is afraid to tread, that's where we go to become more aware and conscious.

It is up to each one of us how we live our life.  If we spend every waking minute worrying about the latest tirade of the day, we're not helping the world.  We're adding to the problem.  The world and human civilization have serious issues, and it is looking for people to step up to the plate and help solve these problems.  Unfortunately, we have a world that is screaming at one another.  Nothing is being resolved.

Through your actions...

Do you want to be conscious?  It isn't a yes or no answer.  It is how you live in a day and what you do through your actions that give the answers.  It is where you focus your time and help and love, not just how much you act as if you do.  Conscious means doing more and being more than you were yesterday and not as far as tomorrow.  It is a daily commitment, not a one time retweet or like or post.

I write because I want to see the world and human civilization wake up.  No, I'm not referring to politics or religion.  I mean, waking up from the inside out.  Learning how to live not only in your mind but in your body.  Seeing that your life is led by a heart that is fully open, not close or semi-open from the trials of life.

I write because I want to make a difference.  I don't care about many of the issues most get frantic about these days.  Those are temporary unconscious events that only bring out the worst in people.  I'm more concerned with how you deal with your health and mental well-being.  The overall love and acceptance of others are what matters to me, not the judgment and condemnation we shove in other people's faces.

Do you want to be conscious?  If you do, make sure your actions and thoughts and your words work in that direction.  See the big picture, not the moment by moment parts of life that do not advance the civilization of this universe.  See that consciousness begins deep inside of you and radiates out for all to observe.

I'll leave you with this question one last time because I just want you to think about it.  The answer is not as important as the process of contemplation.  Do You Want To Be Conscious?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/9/2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Growing Up With Hate Disguised As Love

Written By Don Shetterly

As a kid, we went to church, every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and any other day there were activities.  Church services and prayer meetings were the norms for our lives.  Days and meals were planned around it.  No one was exempt from going, and you were expected to be there.


In each prayer meeting or church service, the participants (our family included) talked about loving one another.  We talked about how we were somehow different from all the rest of the population.  We talked about how we were holier than all the rest of the people living on the planet.

We tried to be good people and do the right thing most of the time.  We sought to be honest, upstanding, loving, kind and generous when we could We put our offering in the collection plate and sometimes I saw my dad give their entire life's savings while we starved, but we were doing it in the name of all that was holy.

Not Gossip - It Was Prayer Requests...

We didn't mind the gossip that went on in the church because we didn't call it that.  Instead, we referred to it as prayer requests.  We'd offer up prayers in the circle while many would raise eyebrows at hearing the news of various participants.  That was okay though because we were praying about it of course.

We would get back in the car to leave the church service or prayer meeting and boy that is when the discussion of the prayer requests (a.k.a gossip) would start up with intensity.  It was as if there were only a few minutes to discuss it.  I would listen as my parents talked without a pause.

It would bother me, but you didn't dare stand up and say anything for fear of being beat.  You couldn't expose the error in what family was doing because you got it when you got home.  I just had to sit there and listen to it while it made my stomach turn.  Yet, we were a loving family who was special and went to church.  Gossip was something others did.

With the same breaths of love and kindness, we would turn our attention to all those that we disagreed with from our neighbors to other members of the church.  The minister, of course, was not exempt with this, but because it was in the secrecy of our car and home, no harm was done.  After all, we proved that we had love for one another.

Didn't Know Our Actions Were Hate Filled...

If people thought differently than what the ruler in our family proclaimed as the law, we despised them and distanced ourselves from them.  You could say that we hated them, but then no one would have admitted that in this moment or at any time.  For we were Christians.  We were called by God so we could not have hate.  We didn't know that our actions were hate filled.

Never mind the domestic violence and child sexual abuse that was going on in the family.  Never mind that the thought of sparing the rod and spoiling the child was enacted to the extreme.  These were regular parts of our family while we acted as if we loved everyone and hated no one.

I escaped from that life, and it was not easy to leave it behind.  Because of other situations in my life with healing from Conversion Disorder, I had to walk away from my entire family to save my life.  I was cast out as a son that was brainwashed by psychiatrists who didn't know that his family loved him.  I was shoved aside until I came to my senses.  All the loyalty that had been demanded of me throughout my life was now cut off because I no longer lived by the family code I grew up with as a kid.

My Family Still Practices Hate...

To this day, I see those in my family who still practice the hate.  They disguise it as love, but the hate has blinded their hearts.  They no longer can tell a difference.  It is sad observing it from outside the family.  Some days, I can barely believe this is the family I grew up in.

I see things happening in the world and our country which reminds me of those years I have longed to forget.  The one-way loyalty and the hate disguised as love.  The superiority of some as they lift themselves up over the ones they have trampled.  I see a disdain for what is really the truth, hidden by everything under the sun that is not.

If you tried to confront anyone about this, they would laugh and spit in your face.  Yet, the same people puff themselves up as the arbitrators of truth, justice, and love.  Instead, the judgment shown by most people towards others, even the ones that cloak it with some love, is one of the most hurtful things you can do towards another.

I grew up in the church and the family that judged everyone while we smiled, hugged them, and told them, "I Love You!"  We thought we were the best that life had to offer.  We thought we were right and everyone else was wrong.  As I've put distance in my healing from my family, I realized just how wrong we were.  We were not only part of the problem, but we were the problem.

No one wants to look hard into their own life and see the garbage then need to throw out the window.  No one wants to acknowledge their actions and thoughts and words as being not only part of the problem but the problem facing this world.  Everyone is quick to judge everyone but themselves, and I weep at the sadness of this behavior.

Living life in this world is not always easy but the more we hide our heads in the sand, duck behind the knowledge of truth, the more we make it an arduous journey.  We're not as great as we proclaim because a great life is seen through actions, not words.  We can speak the words, but if we do not live the life that we preach, we are nothing more than a clanging gong.

What is in our heart and mind and body is what we display to the world.  We can mask our hate and project it on to everyone else, but until we go in and search our own heart and mind, we will be part of the problem.  Let us open our eyes and become aware of what we truly do, not what we say to convince the world.

I work each day to de-program my mind from the brainwashing I endured as a kid.  I work each day to love others through my heart and actions, not just the words I write or say.  Every day, I strive to release all the toxicity and poison that was pumped into me as I was taught the truths of life.  I am the only one that can change how I live my life now.

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• Twitter:  @MindBodyThought

• Facebook:   MindBodyThoughts

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Do You Really Care?

I see this far too many times and all I can do is scratch my head in disbelief.  I see and hear people say, "I care" and yet their actions don't match their words.

So, do you really care?  Is it just words or do you follow through.  Sorry, for the bluntness and harshness of this subject, but I'm really trying to get everyone's attention.  I'm trying to really put this in everyone's face, because it happens far too often.  It happens to the ones that say, "Yes I care".

How many times have you seen people in a tragedy or death event tell others, "let me know if there is anything you need".  Most of the time, if someone needs something, the ones saying this have a million things to do.  It was a nice thing for them to say in the hour of need, but if words don't match the actions, why are you saying it?

How many times have you seen people say, "I am there for you" or "I support you" and yet, when the going gets tough, there is no one to be found.  Yes, there's a few people that will follow through, but to most it seems like it is a string of words, rather than something they really mean.

What about the times when people say "we care" and yet, they avoid you and hide every time you try to get in contact with them?  Do they really care?  Or is it just a feel good thought by them to placate themselves to go along about their lives and not give it anymore thought.

Maybe it is because we're too "busy" following the latest political rants or what is happening in the latest reality show.  Maybe it is because were too busy staying busy that we don't stop to take time out for those that supposedly matter in our lives.  Maybe it is because we have our own personal agenda and if someone doesn't fit those confines, we're not going to give them the time of day.

Heck, it could be because we're so busy at being overwhelmed by social media and the latest news gossip of the day, that nothing else matters.  We're so caught up in life that we don't have capacity for anything else.

I honestly struggle with this because I see people make "supportive comments", but yet they treat the person as if they don't exist.  They treat them as if they are a bother, rather than someone that they care about.  It might be unintentional, but we really need to wake up.  We're hurting one another badly with this practice.

Let's make our words count.  Let's make our actions match our words.  If we truly don't mean what we say, then let's not make it appear that we do.

Sometimes people are banking on what you say to them.  Sometimes, it is more than mere words in that moment.  There are times people really need for you to reach out to them, rather than just avoiding and acting as if they don't exist.  It may be their lifeline back to reality in that moment.

When we say things we don't mean, it holds our integrity suspect.  We become that clanging symbol in the world that just makes noise, but not much else.  Put your heart in action before you put your words in action and you'll help improve the world in ways you can't imagine.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Sometimes I Weep For People

Nope, this isn't a happy post, but it is what is on my heart.  Sometimes to make sense of things or attempt to grab on to the last rung of the ladder, I write what is on my mind.

Maybe this is not always what everyone wants to read or hear, but it is how I've written this blog for the past several years.  I share deeply from my heart and my own vulnerability.

Sometimes I weep for people.  Lately, that's been much of the time.  I see so much and I cannot for the life of me understand why humans do what they do to one another.  Here's some of the examples I've witnessed that grind my heart up to not end.

Examples:

1. Example 1:  We care and we're here for you, but please enjoy our silence as that is about as far as it goes.  I know people mean well, but their actions don't match their words.  I stand in confusion wondering if it is something I did or they are just too busy or they just don't realize what their words mean.  Maybe it is something else, but it is far too complicated for me to understand.
2. Example 2:  I only will communicate with you if you believe the way I do or talk the way I think you should or follow what I think you should do in your own life.  Of course, they don't come right out and say this but they practice it diligently.  I am at a loss with words and understanding how I have to believe or say things or act according to how others view life.  It just doesn't make sense and unfortunately it happens far too often.
3. Example 3:  I am one-sided in my viewpoints.  I can't accept your point of view because it is wrong.  I will label you and call you names to prove my point and just constantly say that I know what is best and your stupid.  I'll do this in horrific ways so that you really feel as low as you can feel.  After all, I'm right and you're wrong.  I just tend to walk away from these people because I have no desire to fight with someone that is intent on not listening to anything I say.
4. Example 4:  Let me show you how wrong you are and I will do it constantly every moment of the day.  Whether it is social media or a blog or talking to people, boy - just let me show you how wrong you are.  It is my responsibility to show ignorance to those who practice is how this type of behavior goes for people in this example.  There's no one else in their minds that holds any truth, but them.  I'm so saddened when I see this happening at a frequency my mind cannot even begin to comprehend.
5. Example 5:  They've got a one track mind - yes I do, states the ones that do this.  Nothing else matters but their single focused issue or belief or viewpoint.  It is all or nothing.  It is frequent and in your face.  If you don't fully accept their premise and think and talk about whatever the subject is 100% of the time, there's something wrong with you in their eyes.  It is their way or the highway!

All of these things and more are practiced every day by those who don't think they do any of this.  Some are pretty convincing that they are normal and everyone else is wrong.

These things hurt the fabric of our society. It hurts us being human to one another.  It makes us into enemies, rather than fellow travelers on this earth.

No, none of us is perfect and we all make mistakes.  Let's just not go embrace them as the norm while we degrade, tear down and rip apart other people.  It makes me weep for people.  It really does. My heart hurts when I see this behavior.

Respect for one another starts when you stop labeling others and calling them names.  Respect for one another starts when you stop to listen and love another without trying to convince them your way is correct or you know what is best for them.

There is so much noise in our day and if we fail to listen, but keep screaming our point of view - we're only adding to the noise.  We're not doing anyone any good.

If you've not done any of these things ever in your life, then my hat is off to you.  Please write a book and share with the rest of the world how this is done because it is badly needed.  Unfortunately, I think we've all crossed the line a few times and right now in our world, the majority of people are truly crossing the line.

Let's not take our deficiencies we see in ourselves out on everyone else.  It isn't their fault that we haven't healed a part of our life or progressed past the thought processes and beliefs we were taught.  Yes, we don't like to admit we do any of this, but it only takes a few minutes to observe it in action just about anywhere you go.

Let's celebrate others and share with one another what we've learned and what we've experienced.  It helps us find our own footing on this treacherous path that is called life.  We need each other to make it in a hostile world.  We definitely don't need to inflict pain upon others that ends up making them weep with sadness.

How can you begin this moment to let your words match your actions and let your love shine through greater than your own ego?

#Authentic

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Are Humans Really That Hateful

I see a meanness online these days and it truly bothers me.  If you think I should not be bothered by it, then this blog post is not for you.  In fact, I just got called out for caring about what gets forced in front of our eyes every day.  You can't avoid it, unless you just don't go online.

I have to wonder though, are humans as hateful as they show online?  Do they really hate others as much as their words and actions show?  Or is there a major disconnect and the what people show online is different than they actually are?

My next question would lead me to authenticity.  If you can't be the same online that you are in person to your friends, coworkers and acquaintances, then which persona should we believe?  Who really are you?

I think this matters greatly because by treating each other with so much hatred while proclaiming we are great individuals, is extremely harmful to the world-at-large.  Words, actions, and thoughts do matter.  A thought born out of love can really help someone's day while thoughts born out of hate can really incite significant pain upon others.

We can't just sit back and hide our heads in the sand, because it truly matters.  How we treat others is propagated on to other people many times over.  It hurts.  It harms.  It keeps people hunkering down in their caves of anxiety and depression.

How we treat others is what helps this world advance or decline!  I'm sorry if that goes against your beliefs and opinions, but you can just take a look at humanity through the ages and see how true this is. 

The world is difficult enough on our good days and if we can't walk hand-in-hand together towards a better outcome, will this world even make it?  If we stand opposed and fight and nitpick and manipulate with our opinions and beliefs, may the world somehow survive because the odds are against it in this scenario.

Yes, it does matter if we truly understand whether humans are really that hateful with one another.  To ignore this, is being part of the problem that self-propagates throughout online social media.  We had better wake up before it is too late.  In this case, there will not be any do overs.

#Hate

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Caring Is More Than Saying You Care

I see far too many times when people just don't even begin to go far enough.  They say they care, but their words just don't show they care.  I'm sorry to be the one to state this, but actions speak louder than words.

Caring is more than saying you care.  It really is.  If you can't listen and try to understand, your words are meaningless.  If you can't take the time to truly show you care, than your words just don't mean much.

All of what I'm saying is what most have probably heard before and it may sound harsh, but it really irritates me and disappoints me when I see people do this.  This is not behavior fitting to a human.  This is not what our civilization should be about.

There are many that are hurting.  There are many that just need a listening ear, a helping hand or someone that will say, "let me sit with you while you tell me what is weighing on your heart".  Instead we give the "I'm too busy" approach and tell someone, I'll call you later.

We give people the "don't bother me" approach because I need to watch my socks dry on the clothesline.  After all, don't they know that my TV programs and my latest social media rants are far more important.

We give the people, "subscribe to my way or hit the highway" approach because God only knows that we're right and everyone else is wrong.  They surely don't know what they want or what is good for them, but hey - that's ok, we know what is best.  What we have to say or how we think is far more important than anything someone else may need in that moment.

Caring is more than saying you care.  It is more than a social media like or share.  It is more than passing a happy thought and meme along.  It is truly showing another you care - in deep and personal ways that really make a difference.

Caring should not be the exception to our day like it is now.  Caring should be the norm.  Listening should be second nature, but instead we chatter along in our days, screaming and ranting online and to each other as if that is superior to listening.

If we can give caring to one another in this world, our human race is doomed.  We cannot sustain all that life requires without caring for one another.  The kingdoms of this planet will never prevail when caring is nothing more than an after thought.

So, what do you do each and every day in your own life to show people you care?  As you answer that, be brutally honest with yourself that you are showing caring in the way that you say you do.  When you do this, the entire world will benefit from your caring and there may still be hope for us all.

#Caring

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Those Gossip Hour Prayer Meetings

I grew up in this and so I'm writing from my experiences.  While it is my experiences, I see plenty of evidence that it happens in many other places right under the noses of those who claim it does not.  Yes, I'm talking about those gossip hour prayer meetings.

Growing up, we'd be in church on Sunday morning.  Praising Jesus, sharing and fellow-shipping with one another and enjoying all that God had given us.  We were happy to help one another and be uplifting.  We would pray for the lost souls that had not found their way to Jesus.

As the music played and the minster spoke, we would fill our hearts with wonder and amazement at new insights presented to us based upon the scriptures.  We would walk out of the church feeling so wonderful and loved and blessed.

Then, it happened!

It was when we got in the car, that everything changed.  All of the sudden you would hear, "did you know Sam's brother was an alcoholic?"  "Did you know that Teresa and Joe were not married, but they have two kids together?"  "I was shocked to learn that the Donarays were struggling in their marriage!"  By all means, "the Jackson boy told his parents he was gay!"  (all names are fictional to illustrate a point)

These are only a few of the examples I would hear from my own parents and family.  We weren't alone, because as a kid I loved to listen to the adult conversations.  Heck, some of these people wouldn't even wait to leave the church before they shared their insights (a.k.a gossip).  As long as they were quietly whispering in the corner away from the individual they were talking about, it was fair game to gossip.

Of course, no one called it gossip.  No one would entertain the thought that it was gossip.  No one would admit to doing this.  Yet, they would push and solicit more information out of the individuals so they could better pray for them.  In fact, it was more, "keep me up-to-date" so I can pray better for the individual.  At least that's why my little ears heard beyond the words they said.

Keep me up-to-date stuff...

I'm sure they all meant well, or I hope they did.  However, this "keep me up-to-date stuff was more fodder for the gossip.  Yeah, I know, if I was standing on stage saying this, there's a good chance tomatoes would be thrown at me by now.  If they didn't throw tomatoes, they would be claiming that "my church" doesn't do this!  They would claim, I don't do this!  They would make sure you knew they were the self-righteous ones, not like all those other heathen churches.

This always made me feel icky inside as a kid.  Yet, I got so brainwashed in it that I thought it was how the world worked.  I would find out later, that it would take me years to start understanding just how brainwashed and deluded I was.  It would take years for me to undo the brainwashing that I had been forced into.

And according to my family, I'm the "brainwashed one" because I didn't obey their every brainwashing command!

As humans, if we're not careful, we do the complete opposite of what we think we do.  We blind ourselves to what we do as if we are the righteous ones, while others are the ones that need the help.  It is only through deep soul searching and awareness, that we discover who we truly are.

If you're not carefully evaluating yourself and going deep within to see what is in your innermost heart, than you're most likely part of the problem you despise.  Often we deflect the parts in our own life that we don't want to see by pointing the fingers at everyone else.  It is an easy and effective way of keeping the spotlight off of what is truly on the inside of us.

It is easy to say we have love in our words, but the hard part is showing that we truly do.

#LoveAndWords

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Words Have Consequences

Everyone seems to forget this.  It happens all too often.  We think that the words we write in a twitter feed or facebook post or share as comments on a news story are just words.  However, words do have consequences.

We forget that although we are writing these words to a computer screen, there are real people on the other side of our screen.  This used to be a problem only to forums and message boards, but these days, it permeates every corner of our society.

Words matter.  Words can hurt.  Words can lift others up.  It is how we use our words and our speech that either makes us more human or less.  We cannot just sit idly by and spew words, not thinking or caring what they mean to our own civilization and the world as a whole.

Words cannot just be for gain over another human or group or ideology.  Words cannot just be for winning at all costs.  Words cannot just be one thing you say one minute and then revise the next.  For our words are what we communicate to others and words do have consequences.  People will know us not only by our actions, but by our words.

Words hurt..

In this day we are living in, words seem to either hurt and inflame, or disregard the very nature of human existence.  Many are oblivious to what they say and they feel because of whatever hurt or experience has happened in their own life, they are free to say what they want.  In fact, many believe that it is their right to do so.

Yet, when the words are hurled back upon them, they think others are being unfair.  Never mind that what they spew is beyond horrible.  It is only what others say to them.  It is sad because while they cannot take their own medicine, they don't understand any longer that words have consequences.

Speaking out both sides of your mouth...

When you speak out of both sides of your mouth, what should those that hear think?  How will they know which conclusion to reach about what you say?  If you are constantly saying one thing just to win, but then you're acting and saying something different, your words are like standing in sinking sand.  There is nothing for anyone to solidly stand on.

I grew up in a house where individuals said one thing, but would do another.  I grew up in a house where one thing was said one moment, only for the next moment to be the complete opposite.  I grew up in a house where individuals would say whatever they wanted, not caring how deeply it hurt others and having absolutely no love in their hears.  They did not understand that words have consequences.

When people don't care about the words they spew, you can't get down in the gutter with them.  You're not going to win that battle because ignorance will prevail.  It takes deep love and compassion for them.  Sometimes it takes walking away from them, for if they never listen, the words will be meaningless and fall on ears that can never hear.

Words have consequences and the only replacement for them is love and compassion in our hearts.  We need to make sure we are not pointing our fingers at others for failing to understand this when we take the same approach.

These days, through all the screaming online and in the news, there are very few that really understand that words have consequences.  May we all begin to ponder how we use our words.  May we search our own hearts before pointing the fingers at everyone else.  After all, it is not just everybody else that is the problem. 

#Words

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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People Will Know You By What You Say

Those pesky little social media posts.  They are pretty telling about a person.  I'm sure most people would probably cringe at the thought of some of these social media posts and emails being read back in a public spotlight.  Yet, it seems no one stops to think about it at the time they write them.

People will know you by what you say.  They really will.  If you want to get a feel for what someone is like, just take a read down through their social media postings.  It will say plenty.

Imagine if someone that didn't know you was given "opposition research" on you.  All of their social media posts and emails and things they said was printed out in a detailed and fact-oriented paper.  What would it say about you?  How would your words present you to the world?

I think there are many if not most people who would be embarrassed if your minister started quoting you in a church service or maybe in a public school meeting, your words were read out loud.  Maybe, for the guy or girl you were trying to get a date with, someone popped up and shared everything you wrote.

Would your words be helpful?

How about if what you had posted was given to your small child at birth as an instruction manual on how they should treat others.  Would it be helpful to them or if they started imitating your words among other children, how would it look?

I'm not saying you can't be real, but what I am saying is that we often try to make others believe one thing about us, while saying just the opposite in our words.  We hold ourselves up as the voice for all to follow, yet we forget about following our own advice.

People will know you by what you say...

People will know you by what you say, whether it is good or bad.  They will see the real you come out, even if it is a numbed and disconnected display.

To go out and hold yourself up so high and then be so blind as not seeing how much you tear people apart is just not human.  Yes, it takes some self control and that is lacking big time in online social media.  Facebook and Twitter and other places thrive on this part of human behavior.  They have built billion dollar businesses exploiting this in people.

The point is, if you're going to say one thing to the world, let your words match it.  Ponder what it is that you say and do because those things show your true colors and intent.  It doesn't matter which side of the spectrum you fall on in life, we all do this to some degree.

Let us build and lift one another up so we can all achieve greater heights.  As we do this, we will advance the world in a much better way than anything else that can be done.  It is up to us to know thyself and determine if our words truly match what we think we say.

#TreatOthers

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Will The Words Matter That Have Been Spoken

After the past several months of an election season, we're now coming to the end of it.  If everyone really stepped back and looked at what they said and posted and shared, I honestly wonder what we would think of our words.

Would we really be proud of all that we said and the way we said it? 

Would it hold as truth in 1000 years as it does today?

I wonder about those questions because I'm not so sure we could answer them in a positive way about them.  I doubt that in a 1000 years, what is so critical today, will be even remembered at that point.  I have a feeling that all this screaming and yelling will essentially be for nothing.

Yet, it doesn't stop anyone from doing it.  Group 1 says something and so group 2 responds.  Group 2 responds and now group 3 and group 1 have to respond.  Of course, then the next level of that involves more pointed and heated words.  It involves one-upping the other groups.  It requires that we out-flank the others and really make our point knowing.  

As it continues to escalate and build, it becomes nothing more than screaming and yelling at one another where no one is listening.  I'm sure that when this election is over, everyone will view things differently, but life will go on and little will be paid to each individual's role in this entire process.  It won't even enter into most people's minds how they participated in this horrible display of childish behavior.

I often look at what I see online and in the news and think, what if our children behaved this same way?  Most likely the child would have his backside spanked and they would be set in a corner to think about how their actions were so horrible. 

Yet, adults are doing the same thing and they don't stop to think about it.  I'm not so sure our children aren't smarter than adults most days.  Adults are modeling this behavior for their children and then getting upset when the child shows it back to them.  How two sided can you get?  Just look at what is happening to our children and the bullying and violence taking place in our schools!

More importantly though when all we can do is scream and yell and make outrageous statements backed up by little or no facts, how is that good for our society?  It does nothing to advance humans on this planet.  It does nothing to care about one another or see if there is a way we can work together for our common good.

I wish people would really look at what they say.  I can't see how many people would be proud of the words they used and how they showed complete disrespect and contempt for one another.  Aren't we as humans better than that? 

Do we just hate ourselves so much that we hate others in the process and we don't care if it shows? We don't care what happens.  It is all about what we think is right and to hell with the rest!

Most likely we will just have lowered the bar on public discourse, especially when it comes to our political process. Imagine what the next political season will entail because we have set the bar so low in this one.  At the end of the day, I doubt any of us will be further along in learning how to help one another, listen to one another or have the most basic respect for each other.

May our children teach us how to see the world and each other, because in my view - the adults are failing the children and the world in a big way. The things people say to one another should be at a higher standard than we are today.  May we all find that point and elevate the discussion and respect in this world.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Through Vulnerability We Help One Another

The light touch that connects with others.  The light-hearted way you smile at someone.  Your gentle words from your compassionate heart that help break down the pains others are facing.

These are the things that make life.  With our vulnerability we help one another through tough times as well as through the moments of further growth and achievement.

It doesn't have to be the most eloquent speech or the perfect painting.  It doesn't have to be the most perfect blog post.  It doesn't have to be a moment where you know what to do next.  All it needs to be is something you give of yourself even in your own vulnerable moments.

Courage to be vulnerable...

Yes, it may take courage to be vulnerable, but the heart of another knows and connects without words spoken.  It may take a step of faith as you offer a hand of light touch or a heart without judgment, but just know that by you taking the step, you may be changing someone's life.

A person without judgment is a very smart person.  We need more people who will open their lives up and listen to another without judgment.  Judgment is very disrespectful to another human being.  It is like stabbing another person through the heart.

Give in the slightest of ways...

Don't think you have nothing to give because when you give of yourself, in the slightest of ways, this is when you've given something so great the universe rejoices.  Don't think you're never enough because the person needing your help may see you as a giant.

Sometimes we don't always need a person to help pull us up out of the mud pit we are in.  Instead, sometimes they just need us to stay with them until they find the way out.

We are humans connected by vibration and energy and love.  We are humans that need one another to strive to greater heights.  It is in the way we allow ourselves to be vulnerable with one another that we find the meaning and purpose of life.  We discover through this just what makes life so full of joy and love and happiness.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Sharing Personal Insights With The World

I'm often taken by surprise at some things in life.  When someone or several people start sharing with me just how my words impact them, my heart feels so alive and warm.  Lately, I've had several unrelated comments sent to me about things I have written and my book.

One reader told me in a review that my book was like I was just writing to them.  This is not the first time I have heard this but it always warms my heart to hear these things.

When I started writing, I just wrote.  At first, no one hardly saw my blog or the words I wrote.  I was getting discouraged when my good friend told me to not give up.  It would take some time.  So, I continued to write and share my heart and my thoughts.

Look for lessons that I can learn...

In all that I write, I try to write about the things that impact me or bring out various emotions.  The things that hit me the hardest are the ones I try to write about on my blog or in my book.  Instead of just writing about the negative, I look for lessons that I can learn and pass on to others.

Sharing the raw thoughts and sometimes the very personal things is not always easy.  It makes a person vulnerable.  There are times that I question myself why I am sharing such an intimate part of my life.  Yet, when I read the wonderful comments I get on how something I wrote has touched someone, I know it was worth me stepping out of my comfort zone.

Make it authentic...

Regardless of what you or I do in life, make it authentic.  Make it real!  Make it who you are and part of your own journey.  If you try to create something for people because you think that is what they want, you will most likely miss so much.  If you write or create that which inspires you, hurts you, and helps you, then most likely others will connect.

We've got plenty of fake people and fake things in this world.  The world needs more authentic people that are willing to create from their heart.  For the ones that create from the heart are the ones that truly help others and the world in ways they most likely don't even fully know.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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What We Show To The World

We all have a private side and a public side I think.  If someone doesn't, I'd be a little suspicious.  What we show to the world is often not what we show to those close to us.  Even what we show to those that are close to us, is not all we are.

There is the side of us that we show to the world in our professional life.  In many ways, it isn't our entire self because I'm sure a client or customer would not want to know or need to know some of the issues we have had to face in life.

There is the side of us that we show to the world that is our more personal side, but often if we show it to the world at large, we would be allowing people to trample our own personal boundaries.

What we show online...

There are also sides such as what we show online in social media or what we show to our significant other or best friends.  It might even be a side that we show to one circle we are involved with but for each different experience in life, there is something we show to the world and something we do not.

I'm always perplexed and amazed at what people show online in social media.  Often it is showing one side of themselves, while they try to prove there is something else that makes them tick.  All I have to do is look is no further than a sibling that professes one thing on Sunday and shows an entirely different thing through the things he shares online.

While there may be a need to not show everything to the world that we show to our most trusted friends and significant others, I think that sometimes we are not authentic in the way we should be.  There need not be major cover ups while trying to convince the world we are one thing, but in many ways we are not.

Your actions and words say much more...

Your actions and words say much more than what you try to project to the world.  You might think you are hiding the things from the world, but in many ways they are quite obvious for all to see.

As you go through your day, take into account what it is that you show to those close to you and the world.  Does one thing resemble the other or are the different images no where close to being in sync?

If you want to be taken as authentic, then you will want to be more aware and conscious of what you put out into the world.  Social media is a good indicator of what is truly within you or what you do when you're not conscious.

Make the world a better place by being authentic and really looking deep within your own soul to see what is there.  You won't make the world a better place by judging it and exclaiming all that others are doing wrong.  You will make it a better place by working on yourself over that of judging other people.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Let Love Lead You

Too many times I see things that really cause pain upon others and hurt our society.  One such area is when we say we love others, but then the following words, actions, social media shares and thoughts show anything but love.

Love is not something you can boast about because if you truly love and have love, it will show through.  It needs no boasting.  In fact, anyone that boasts how much love they have probably is missing the true point of what love truly is.

I grew up in a family where we went to church on Sunday morning and heard love preached.  We embraced the words of love for all mankind, but by the time we got in the car on the way home, the gossip and things that were said gave no indication we understood what we had heard.

Proclaim love but actions don't match...

I see the same thing on social media where people proclaim how much love they have for others, but then they go and share some of the most hateful things out there.  I'm not saying everyone has to agree with everyone else in the world, but if you're going to profess love for others, make sure it shows in you actions, not just in words you spew.  Make sure they match.

Boasting about how great you are or all that you've done is not true love in my view.  Why does anyone need to know?  Why can't you just allow your actions of love to be love - that needs no grandstanding or parties held in honor of your own ego?

Love does not judge...

Love is just there, not demanding or judging.  Love just accepts and honors and respects others at all times, not just when it is convenient in a group of like minded brethren.

Love is there silently giving and helping and honoring, not trying to get all that it can get or trample over others.  Love does not try to hurt people by inflicting and hurling insults and derogatory comments towards one another.

Love does not bully.  Love doe not hate.  Love does not try to divide and sow discourse and hatred.  Love does not try to pit one group against the other.  Love instead tries to understand and comprehend and help or assist.

Love lifts one another up...

Love tries to lift one another up knowing that as we lift each other up, we lift up all mankind and the universe.  Love does not want to see others suffer or make fun of someone else.  Love offers hugs of acceptance to all it meets.

Love does not call names or feel hurt because it believes others are attacking it.  Love only continues to show love.  Love does not believe the fears that are fed each and every day to our society through so many sources.  Love conquers fear.  Love vibrates at a higher energy than fear.

If you say you have love, then by all means - show it!  If you say you have love, then don't share the hate filled messages on social media or participate in the activities that divide one human from another.  There is no love in that.  There is an absence of love.

Instead, allow love to take you by the hand and lead you into moments where you are a positive inspiration to others.  Walk into the moments where you help lift others up without judgment and allow them to discover their own path in their own time.  Allow love to fill every part of your life, not just ones that are convenient for Sunday morning.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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My Abuser Of Child Sexual Abuse

When I first started out on my healing journey from child sexual abuse, I looked at things differently than I do now.  One of these things was that I referred to the abusers as "my abuser".  I constantly referred to them as my abuser when I would talk to others sharing my story of child sexual abuse.

However, as I started going through my healing journey, I soon learned that there were better ways to talk about the person that abused me.  After all, to say that it was "my abuser" meant I was taking ownership of them.  It was my possession.

While I did not intend to make that connection, the words I used said the complete opposite.  The words made it sound to my mind as if somehow I was attached or wanted to be attached to the child abusers that did harm to me.  I know that was not the intended meaning, but it is how the words played out.

I started letting go...

As time went, I started letting go of saying, "my abuser".  I did not want to be connected to them and I did not want to hold them near and dear to me, as if they were someone with endearing qualities.  It may be a very subtle play on words, but I think it is important.  It was to me at least.

I began referring to them as the monsters who abused me or the child sexual abusers.  I would use words such as perverts because that is what they were.  As I'm writing this, I can't recall all the words that I started to use.  My main intent though was to quit possessing them as humans because they were anything but that to me.

Words have great impact...

Be careful when talking about what happened to you, because your words can impact you more than you realize.  After all, no one that has been abused as a child really wants to have anything endearing about the monsters that did these things.  Even if it is a slight connection, find a way to put things in proper perspective and reality.

To me, this was an evolutionary process of healing where as I healed, I did things that helped empower me, not take away my power.  No longer do I see the abusers as having any human qualities.  I no longer am connected to them and I've kept my distance.

To me, life is about moving forward and moving on, not holding on and possessing that which hurt me deeply.  Finding in my own life, the words that I use made a difference in how I perceived my own healing.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Inspire Us To Love

I saw this posted at the vigil for the Pulse Victims in Orlando at Lake Eola.  It touched my heart deeply and I still can't get this out of my mind.  With all the recent events in the news, I think this banner and message is as important today as it was when I saw it.  Inspire us to love.

Inspire us to love should be the way we go through our lives.  It should be the way we look at life, evaluate life and connect with each other.  It should be something more and something greater than we currently know.  It should be the bedrock principal with how we talk and act towards one another.

Just thinking about the thought should lift us to higher realms of consciousness and awareness.  It should be something that we strive towards and desire to achieve.  It should be a goal for all mankind.

Words are not enough...

Words are not enough.  Actions without words are not enough.  Saying to the world that we love one another is not enough.  It must come from our heart and our mind and our body.  It must come from a normal balance we exhibit every day of our lives, not just at a vigil or when another tragedy strikes.

Our words must be more than empty gestures that show up when we're angry and scared and upset.  Our words must be more than we speak on a Sunday morning and forget the other 6 days of the week.  Words must be authentic and with compassion for all, not just for the ones that we agree with in that moment.

We must use our actions...

We must use not only our words to inspire us with love, but we must use our actions to show how we are inspired by our love.  It is action coming from the heart that shows just how much love we have.  It is compassion born out of love in our heart that helps us lift the entire world up, not just those that we identify with in our day.

Inspire us to love should be the norm.  It should be where all else is created from in life.  Instead of spewing our hared and disdain for one another, let us show love.  Instead of spewing our ignorance because we have not yet taken the time to understand, let us show love to one another.  Let us show the love of compassion and understanding.

Showing the love of compassion and understanding is our currency of being human.  It is how we become human.  It is how we connect and build each other up and lift each other to new heights.  It is how we all survive and thrive on this journey called life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Throw Words Together And Mean Something

There, I just did it.  Hey, why not be like all the major reporting outlets and newspapers and social media interactions?  Just throw some words together and have it mean something.  It doesn't matter if what you say makes any sense.  It doesn't matter anymore.

No longer do we need proper grammar or sentence structure.  It doesn't matter if you really communicate your thought, because after all, you're just trying to throw words together.  Social media has made this so much worse because no one communicates anymore.

Its hard enough to get your point across without just obliterating the meaning by throwing words together.  Yet, it doesn't stop anyone.  When you have to read something over and over again to try and figure out what you just read, there is a problem.

I'm not perfect either.  I know this.  However, I at least attempt to explain things in the best way that I can, so the point I'm trying to make is clear.  I don't try to game the system by slapping keywords together, one after another.  I don't try to play games just to get people to click.

Authenticity is lacking so much in online social media.  It's more about getting your own ego stroked than it is making a difference in the world.  It's all about the 'me' part of social media and not even beginning to ask, does what I do truly make a difference in the lives of other people?  Does what I do truly bring something good and positive into the world?

Improve the world...

There is far too much stuff posted online in a day and in the media, so let's try to improve the world by making what we share count for something good.  Let's help make the world a better place by posting and sharing content which makes a difference.  Let's stop wasting everyone's time with repeated material just so we can get noticed.

Let's show the world by our words and actions that we are authentic. 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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