What We Say Is Not Always True

We all like to put the best foot forward.  We like people to see the side of us that looks good, acts right, and makes us appear as if we have it all together.  Unfortunately, we're often just trying to paint lipstick on a pig and thinking it a clown.

What we say isn't always true or as true as we lead ourselves to believe.  Now, I'm not claiming that we intentionally lie to others.  Maybe you could make the claim that we do and it would be correct.  I'm really saying that we show one side to the world and another that we show to only those we truly trust and feel safe around.

Sometimes you need to modulate how much you show to the world.  Not everyone needs to hear everything that has happened in your life.  It can easily be too much and overwhelm others.  There are times that the details are just not appropriate for everyone to hear.  There are boundaries you need to establish as well.  So, please don't mistake what I'm saying that we have to be an  open book 100% of the time.  Definitely not!

How true is the story we tell...

We just need to be mindful though of the story we tell and how true or not true it is.  Whether it is to our self or those that we love and trust, how much are we holding back?  How real and authentic is it?  How much are we projecting on to the things that really aren't the culprits?

It is easy to blame everything and anyone for our situation in life.  Believe me, there are some that definitely deserve the blame.  However, in the current moment we have, what we do and how we act is totally up to us.  How we view our life and our possibilities is now in our possession.  Yes, there are influencing factors in our life that weigh heavily on this, but in this current moment, it is up to us how we proceed.

Pushing away others...

Trying to hide the real self and say what we think others only want to hear is not necessarily the most helpful.  Especially if you're in a therapeutic relationship or even with an intimate partner, trying to alter truth and reality is not helpful.  The more authentic and open you can be in those cases, the more connection, love, and support that will be there.

Some days I want to go hide in my cave and when I do that, I assume and pontificate that all others hate me.  I proclaim that no one wants me and no one cares.  In those moments, when I'm hiding my true self and saying something different to those around me, I'm deepening the divide between us.  I'm pushing away the connection to others I so desperately need.

It took me a long time to begin to own up to what had taken place in my life.  Yes, it was horrible.  Yes, I went through childhood sexual abuse, torture and intense trauma.  The thing is, I kept it hidden from everyone, including myself and it nearly cost me my life.  I took my last few breaths before I woke up.

If  you are hiding such deep pain from view, don't beat yourself up for it because that is part of your survival.  Instead, begin to see if there is someone you can trust enough and who is safe enough, that maybe you can reach out a little to them.  If they reach back with love and compassion, you've got someone that can help you climb out of the depths you are in.  If they reach back with judgment, keep looking for those that have love and compassion.  They are out there!

No matter what, work at being honest and authentic in your life.  Don't settle with what you try to tell yourself is true.  Instead, allow yourself to go in and find those ugly parts so you can let them go.  They are robbing you of energy and once you reclaim them, the energy that is freed up will help you go further than you ever realized was possible.

#Truth

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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What We Show To The World

We all have a private side and a public side I think.  If someone doesn't, I'd be a little suspicious.  What we show to the world is often not what we show to those close to us.  Even what we show to those that are close to us, is not all we are.

There is the side of us that we show to the world in our professional life.  In many ways, it isn't our entire self because I'm sure a client or customer would not want to know or need to know some of the issues we have had to face in life.

There is the side of us that we show to the world that is our more personal side, but often if we show it to the world at large, we would be allowing people to trample our own personal boundaries.

What we show online...

There are also sides such as what we show online in social media or what we show to our significant other or best friends.  It might even be a side that we show to one circle we are involved with but for each different experience in life, there is something we show to the world and something we do not.

I'm always perplexed and amazed at what people show online in social media.  Often it is showing one side of themselves, while they try to prove there is something else that makes them tick.  All I have to do is look is no further than a sibling that professes one thing on Sunday and shows an entirely different thing through the things he shares online.

While there may be a need to not show everything to the world that we show to our most trusted friends and significant others, I think that sometimes we are not authentic in the way we should be.  There need not be major cover ups while trying to convince the world we are one thing, but in many ways we are not.

Your actions and words say much more...

Your actions and words say much more than what you try to project to the world.  You might think you are hiding the things from the world, but in many ways they are quite obvious for all to see.

As you go through your day, take into account what it is that you show to those close to you and the world.  Does one thing resemble the other or are the different images no where close to being in sync?

If you want to be taken as authentic, then you will want to be more aware and conscious of what you put out into the world.  Social media is a good indicator of what is truly within you or what you do when you're not conscious.

Make the world a better place by being authentic and really looking deep within your own soul to see what is there.  You won't make the world a better place by judging it and exclaiming all that others are doing wrong.  You will make it a better place by working on yourself over that of judging other people.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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