Thursday, April 19, 2018

Conditions On Being Tolerant and Loving

Written By Don Shetterly
These days, I get so tired of seeing this on display.  In social media, we wear it as a badge.  I'm talking about how we say and preach one thing to the world while doing the opposite with our actions.

We say we are tolerant and loving, but then we put conditions on it.  Of course, we don't acknowledge that, and if someone pointed it out, we'd dismiss them quickly.

We think it is everyone else.  Those who disagree that are not tolerant and loving.  We've got such a big log in our own eye that we cannot even begin to see this in our personal life.  It is everyone else that has the problem, not us.  We're self-righteous and holier than thou.

We exclaim, we're telling it like it is or we claim that somehow we take the superior high ground because we're enlightened.  It doesn't matter which side of this you are on because we all do it every day.  If you don't believe me, show your social media feed to a young child, and I bet they can point out the hypocrisy quickly.

We go to our churches, and we claim how full of love and righteousness we are, but we don't stop to know ourselves.  We don't stop to look at ourselves and see what is within us.  If you don't go to church, there's a good chance you use some other belief system to do the same thing.

Then we point fingers at one another.  We have to tell others just how wrong they are.  After all, we are tolerant and loving.  We just gloss over the conditions because we are so self-righteous.

Growing up, we were in one of these ultra-religious churches that stated bluntly if you did not believe the way they believed, you weren't going to heaven.  There were a lot of other "beliefs" that they taught that I've written about before on another blog post.  It took me many years to let go of that brainwashing hatred for others that were different than us.

Most of the people outside of that church were much more tolerant.  I didn't hear politics discussed or hatred towards gays.  They were down to earth peace loving people that were fun to be around.  I admired and respected them.

Now, however, when I go view some of the stuff on their social media pages (next to the things about how much they are tolerant and loving), I see some of the vilest hatred that exists.  How can people not see what they are doing?  If you say one thing, but do another, your words mean nothing.  Your actions tell the real story.

These days we are so consumed with things that have knocked this entire planet so far off its course, we cannot even see it on display.  We're so numb and disconnected and unconscious that basic decency and respect for one another is something from prehistoric times.

No, it's not the other people that do this in the world that is the problem.  You can't control them.  The only person you can control is yourself and whether you engage and propagate the hatred and divisiveness or you walk away from it.  That's a choice you make each day.

So when you claim you are tolerant and loving, make sure you're choosing something that matches that.  If your rhetoric and social media feed say the opposite, it might be time to have a hard look at what is within your heart.  For what lies in your heart is showing the entire world what that is.

Tolerant and loving people show it through all aspects of their lives.  It isn't just the words you say, or share and likes.  It isn't the retweets and screaming.  It is pure love that treats each other as human, not as something less than ourselves.  It is your heart in action and your ego filtered with respect.


Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Broken Regulators In Life

Written By Don Shetterly
Right now, we're not functioning with our mind and our body.  We are half engaged, but we act as if we are fully engaged.  Our human regulator is broken and causing us great suffering in this world.

When we are not aware or conscious, we don't fully engage in life.  We pull back and only put in part of what we need to put into life.  We numb from fear, and we engage from the ego, not from the heart.

Our emotions may be over the top or nonexistent.  Our passion for causing change may have no regulator on it.  Our words become a way to prove that we know more than others. Our ability to slow down and stop or rest has become one of that is a meme, rather than something we do.

We can only exhaust our body systems before they start breaking down.  If we don't deal with the stress that is piling up on us every day, it will be our stalker that attacks us in the night.  There is no way you can exist in life right now without stress having an impact.  Yes, you can numb yourself by wishing it away, but it is still there.  It lurks in the shadows.

When we stay fully engaged all day long through our electronic devices connecting us to every morsel of "breaking news" that others deem is important, we are hurting our mind and body.  Most of this stuff is noise in a day, but we consume it as if it is the last drop of food we will ever see.  It is not healthy in the least bit, but for some reason, we cling to every new feed, tweet, and a bit of gossip as if it is greater than our life.

When we live in fear and we numb, we are disconnecting ourselves from everyone around us.  We put up the wall between them and us, so we continue to operate.  There is far too much that we use to separate ourselves, rather than help to further the world.  The fear and numb is insidious because even though we act like it does not exist in our life, it operates freely behind the closed doors of our life.

We go online and leave comments that prove to the world we know more than they do.  Memes and happy thoughts become what we share with everyone.  Instead of fully engaging on a human and personal way, we fire back those tweets that will put someone in their place.  Instead of expanding our views, we huddle with those that we agree with not seeing others that hold a differing opinion as someone real in life.

Our broken regulators in life keep us from bouncing from one thing to another.  We don't even fully see it because we are not aware and conscious enough to do this.  We've lost the grounding in our body, yet we have convinced it is still there.  We've lost the ability to disengage from the ranting and screaming because we're convinced we have to fight.

In the meantime, love and compassion and respect has disappeared.  We claim we hold these truths in our life, but our actions fail as a witness in court for us.  We struggle physically with health conditions because we are not dealing with life.  Life has dealt with us in a way that we're no longer in control of our body.  Our mind convinces we are, but the body has long ago shut down.

If we want to and if we have the courage and determination, we can wake up in our body.  It is not easy and very few even do this.  The more you have shut down to in life and what you are inside, the more distance you have to travel back to awareness and consciousness.  It can be done, but it is not easy.  Too many stop before they get very far along this journey.

No one can tell you what you already know in your life, even though it is hidden from view.  It takes each one of us going deep within and seeing what is there that we don't want to see.  If we don't fix the broken regulators in life, we're going to end up in a very awful mess - the likes of which we do not see at this moment.

We can wake up if we so choose, but it is a choice.  It is not a bunch of words that you say.  The evidence shows through your life.  No one will be able to claim if you awake or not as that is something that others around you will know without a doubt.

In this world, we have been marching to the edge of the cliff for a long time.  We're not meant to do that.  Instead, we are destined to wake up and grow in awareness and consciousness.  Life is about becoming more of who we are, not succumbing to what the masses convince us is correct.

Each day of our life, we make a choice as to how we will fit in the world.  Our tweets, social media postings, interactions with others and how much we get to know the depths of our innermost self will reflect our awareness and consciousness.





Thursday, April 5, 2018

What Is Your Idea Of Rest

Written by Don Shetterly
I saw this question posted online by a friend and so I thought I would write about it.  What is your idea of rest?  Doesn't it sound simple and straightforward?

Unfortunately, I don't think it is because from what I see in this world, very few people take time out to stop and rest.   No, I don't have hard evidence of that, other than what I've observed and seen in people and in the bodywork clients I have worked on.

We spend too much time with our phones and staying connected continuously.  We run from this activity to that activity without really looking hard at where our time should go.  In many ways, we are so busy being busy that we are too busy to notice that we are.

The mind and the body need downtime.  Yes, we need sleep, but rest is beyond the sleep moments.

Can you run your car a 1000 miles without stopping?  Can you work 24 hours a day without stopping?  The answer you would most likely give to this is no, you can't.  However, we still tend to apply these same principals to our life.

The mind needs time to process and defrag itself, but if we are continually going, there's no way to do this.  If we don't stop and spend time observing life (such as nature or our breathing or stillness), life will pass us by.  Life will slip away before we realize it and all the essential stuff we will have missed.

The mind needs periods of downtime.  We're so stimulated with data and input coming at us a million times a second that rest seems foreign.  We don't even realize because we are so unconscious and unaware these days of our limits.  Many times, we are keeping our minds in a constant state of busyness is not health.

Our body's need rest.  It needs to build up and recuperate, but we see how far we can push it.  We don't give it a second thought.  We keep piling stress on top of stress in our muscles, tissues, and cells.  The more we do this, the more we add layers to something that could have been so simple to release and let go.  As it builds, so do chronic pain and health issues as a result.  Then we wonder in amazement why we are in the shape we are.

The more you give your mind and your body some downtime in life, the healthier you will be.  You will see things in a more balanced way and not be so numb or fear driven in life.  It will help bring balance to all parts of your life because you will be taking care of yourself instead of neglecting yourself.

Of course, you can continue to do what you do thinking that very beliefs will take care of you.  Unfortunately, if you don't deal with life, stress and stopping to rest, it will deal with you.  You can count on that.  Just look at the research that shows how much of doctor visits are related to stress.  We don't take care of ourselves, and the result is not good.

You don't have to meditate on the edge of a cliff for 5 hours every day.  You can take little steps like stopping to notice your breath.  You can choose 10 or 15 minutes at lunchtime and sit there in nature or in a quiet place and just be still.  Observe.  Put the phone away.

Sometimes quiet and stillness is an excellent form of rest.  Without it, we turn our lives into one noisy and busy nightmare that we will never wake up from in our life.  Don't wait until it is too late like I did.  Take charge of your life by taking care of your life.



Tuesday, March 27, 2018

You Don't Have To Engage

Written By Don Shetterly
For some reason, I do not understand, we as humans think we need to engage in every fight that comes along.  Just a little tip here which I'm sure you've heard before, You don't have to engage.

Now, I know, everyone will claim they don't engage.  Many will state they rise above everything.  Many will deplore what is going on.  However, what is said to the masses and what is done while no one is looking do not match up.

I'm sorry.  I hate to be the bearer of honest news to everyone, but I see this day in and day out.  It isn't hard to figure out with a couple of clicks on the internet.  What we say to the world and what we do are not the same actions.

The more significant point is you don't have to engage with the turmoil and screaming of the day.  The world will go on whether you do or not.  If we're not careful, we're just adding more fuel to the fire.

Yep, somehow we think that dumping our own fuel on the fire is helpful, but basic science teaching says that dumping fuel, only increases the fire.  I know you'll tell me you don't do this.  It is all those other people that do.  This is where I cringe and just let you continue to think that you don't do this.

I get it.  We are humans.  When we feel scared or threatened or attacked, we want to bring it on and let everyone know just what we think.  It does make sense.  However, don't you need to ask yourself if you're really helping the situation by responding the way you do?

As Oprah said the other day to Jimmy Kimmel, "You don't win by meeting any kind of negativity head-on."  There is much truth to this statement.

Everyone thinks they are right and so they engage.  They don't listen to what someone has to say.  It doesn't matter if you are on one side of the issue or another in this country.  No one listens to another because they have their minds made up.

When we continuously engage in this screaming and negativity, we're not helping anything.  Most of all, we're keeping our mind, body, and nervous system revved up, and that's not healthy.  It creates more stress.  Stress creates illness and health issues.  The end result is we end up hurting ourselves.


I'm not saying to crawl under a rock and hide, but you don't have to engage.  You can listen to someone say something that you don't agree with because maybe they have a point in there that you need to hear.  You can do what others don't do to you thereby modeling behavior that is more healthy and respectful.

Most of all, don't get in the middle of the mud pit and expect to come out looking any different than the other people.  Rise above it with love, understanding, and compassion.  Use your life to help teach and show others a different route through it.

Remember - you don't have to engage!




Thursday, March 22, 2018

Flowery Words Without Substance

Written by Don Shetterly
So many times I see online statements from people that are pretty, but that's where it ends.  It isn't online only either as the media and leaders and speakers of our day do the same thing.  Flowery words without substance are in abundance.

Is it wrong to use beautiful words, memes, and positive thoughts?  No, of course not.  We need them to add some spice to our lives.  However, without substance, they are not all that helpful.

Consider this tweet I wrote as I think it sums up what I am trying to say.


I find the thing that helps the most in a day is when we are real and authentic.  When we offer our hand of support to another, we're really adding to a day.  When we are vulnerable and share our life's experiences of what has helped us, we do far more than flowery words ever will do.

We fill up social media with happy thoughts while we often ignore and obliterate the pain that someone is feeling.  Our words become like unhinged swords that take out everything in their path.

Be down to earth.  Show others you really care by your words that come from deep within your consciousness and heart.  These days, the words tend to come out, but the actions and other moments mock what is being said.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/10/what-we-show-to-world.html


We can do so much for others if we find grounding in our life, not what we are putting on display every day for the world to see.  Be part of the consciously connected help in a day, not just the mind-numbed repeats of what is done.

The world needs authentic people.  The world needs us to be down to earth.




Tuesday, March 13, 2018

That One Person That Gets Me

Written By Don Shetterly


I love being with that one person that just gets me.  

They are the ones that see past the faults I see in myself.

They are the ones that see potential in me when I see nothing.

When I'm with this person, it makes my life soar to greater heights.

It makes me want to be more than I am and all that I can be.

I love being with that one person that just gets me.




Thursday, March 8, 2018

Why Didn't I Publicly Expose The Child Molesters

Written By Don Shetterly
Many years ago, I knew an attorney that wanted to take the people who abused me to court.  He thought they should be held accountable and he worked hard to convince me to file a lawsuit.  The statute of limitations was not something I was aware of at the time, but it wouldn't have mattered.

Why didn't I publicly expose the child molesters?

First off, I didn't want to relieve everything I had been through.  I was working hard at coming to terms with it and all of its impacts on my life.  I was tired of dealing with it, thinking about it and talking to others about it.  It was controlling so much of my life through depression and anxiety and intense fear, that I wanted nothing to do with it.

Secondly, I knew that if I tried to come forward, I would be ridiculed and threatened.  I knew that they would turn my words on me as if I was lying.  I knew that they would turn everyone I knew against me and then some.  These were wicked and evil people that stopped at nothing to silence me.  Heck, they already had done most of this so it wouldn't have been new to me.  I just wanted it over.

Third, I was still coming to terms with what happened to me.  It wasn't like I could say everything out loud.  I was not at that point.  Much of it, I had not even realized was not normal that they did to me.  You can read my book if you want to know more on that subject.  When you grow up with this stuff, you don't know any different.  Filing a lawsuit to publicly expose the child molesters was difficult to fathom.  What was right and wrong?  What was normal or abnormal.  None of those things were clear to me.

Fourth, I had pieces of stories and memories but not the full account.  My brain was still trying to protect me.  After all, I almost lost my life in the conversion disorder, and so my brain was in super protection mode.  There were many holes in what I could remember.  As Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk says, our minds remember too much and too little.

The fifth reason why I didn't publicly expose the child molesters is that I wanted nothing to do with them.  I was trying to stay hidden from them for the threats that had been made against my life.  I had no desire to talk to them, see them or have any connection with them.  I wanted absolute disconnect with the child molesters.  It was not easy living this way, but for me to survive, I had to completely let them go.

It isn't easy!


It is easy for others that have not been through the circumstances you have been through to say this is what you should do or what you should not do.  It is easy for others to criticize and be the judge, jury, and executioner, but until you've walked through my experiences in life, you don't know what I've had to live with every day.

To come forward and share what happened to you means you have to deal with the shame of what you went through.  Even if you did nothing wrong, the child molester inflicts shame upon you.  It is a shame that eats you alive and sinks you into despair.  Coming forward to publicly expose the child molesters means you have to deal with all of this horror once again.  It is not easy.  It is not welcomed.

When I see the victims of child abuse or other abusive situations come forward and hear people rip them to shreds, I want to take a baseball bat to the loudmouths of our day.  It makes me angry.  Yes, I realize that some fake people that do this and they are no better than the child molesters.

It takes great courage to speak out.  It takes great courage to confront these monsters in your life because they consume you.  They push you into depression, anxiety, and suicide.  They rob your life completely.  There is nothing left for you when you decide to speak out publicly.

Another thing that happened to me and happens with many is the fear that is instilled in you.  I was told many things that would happen to me if I dared tell.  I saw my pets killed and shot at and beat.  I witnessed many things within the family that would make you know there was no idle threat.

Why didn't I publicly expose the child molesters you ask?  Well, look at what happens today when people start to speak up.  They are not believed.  They are ridiculed and berated and mutilated in public opinion.  It isn't easy to deal with that in private.  I can't imagine what it is like to deal with it in public especially when it wasn't by your choice to do this.

We should be standing in support of those who have been molested and abused, not as enemies of them.  We should be standing up for the rights of all children, not just the ones that fit our narrow-minded thinking.  Turning a blind eye to the issue of child abuse in a family or in your church or city or anything else should not be tolerated.  It should not be the norm.

If we don't take care of our children, who will?  If we spit on those that publicly expose child molesters and abusive people, what kind of society and human race are we?  We gasp at the headline child abuse stories, but we turn our heads to what happens in our own backyards.

We make sacrifices out of the victims while we protect the child molesters at all costs.  We are so messed up on this issue in our society on this issue.  There are far too many cases for us to point the fingers at others because so much of this goes on in our backyards and family dwellings.

Why didn't I publicly expose the child molesters you ask?  Isn't it obvious?  Just look at what happens in the news headlines and then ask that question again. Those that abused me as a child will never pay for their crimes.  They have prayed to Jesus for forgiveness and most likely are still doing what they always did.

One of the ones that abused me is at least in a VA hospital and most likely not a threat to children.  The other one, God only knows!  Hopefully, he is not still abusing kids in the church he goes to, but I have no way to find out.

Am I bitter and angry for what they did to me?  Yes!  The laws of Iowa don't protect me because of the statute of limitations.  So, I'm left to pick up the pieces of my life while the child molesters roam free accusing me of being brainwashed and spreading lies.

How just is that?  Unfortunately, it is the norm!









Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, March 5, 2018

Taking Care Of Ourselves On Twitter

Written By Don Shetterly
One of the things that I think we forget to do is take care of ourselves on Twitter.  It is far too easy to get sucked into the social media unconscious world before we know it.

There is so much that I enjoy about Twitter including many of my followers.  I love great discussions by others on my follower list.  I love it when others share how they are coming through their own struggles.  The ones that strive to make a difference in the world get my utmost respect.

How can you take care of yourself on Twitter?


Follow The Right People

Yes, I know it isn't easy sometimes to know who the right people are too follow.  There's a lot of games played on Twitter and even trying to check out a profile and the tweets of someone, sometimes you just get fooled.  Be careful and when you see people crossing the line, kick them off.  When they really cross the line, that's when I report them.  Sorry, but when someone is bullying or abusing others and being disrespectful, they need a time-out!


Mute Words

You may not know it on Twitter, but one of the best features is the "muted words" function.  If you go up to you your profile picture, click on the "settings and privacy" menu item, you should see one in there that says "muted words."  All you have to do is start adding in the words you don't want to see.  It doesn't mean you stop following people.  You no longer have to look at those conversations which you don't want to see in your Twitter Feed.  It is a way of taking care of ourselves on Twitter especially when things trigger us.

As new words come up, I just add them to my list, and that is the last of that issue I have to worry about on Twitter.  I'm not trying to hide my head in the sand.  I just don't wish to see tweet after tweet all day long of stuff that gets far too overwhelming.



It's Not Our Circus

One of the best things we can do in taking care of ourselves on Twitter is to realize that not every issue is one we need to engage.  If we remind ourselves that it's not our circus, we can give ourselves permission to walk away from the tweet.  After all, sometimes you're better to walk away than engage and bring yourself down into the mud pit with everyone else.  I've written about rolling around in the mud pit with everyone else.  When you do that, no one can tell you apart from the ones you're fighting.  A mud pit makes both people look the same.



Put A Stop Watch On Your Twitter Time

One of the things with social media is that it can suck you into this world.  Before you realize it, the hours have passed by quickly.  There is something about this behavior that is almost unconscious, and it can consume your time.  Put a stopwatch on your Twitter time.  It helps us take care of ourselves on Twitter.  The world will exist if we are on Twitter or not.  The world will continue regardless of what we tweet or not.  We've traded in taking care of ourselves in life with spending far too much time on Twitter and social media.



Don't Be Part Of The Problem

I see a lot of tweets that come through where they make me scratch my head in disbelief.  Even people who claim to have love or are enlightened or have the answers.  Sometimes those people can be some of the worst offenders.  We often tend to respond on Twitter without thoroughly thinking.  Sometimes the words we say can inflict great harm on others unintentionally.  Of course, you can't always know that, and you can't always prevent this.  Everyone has their own triggers.  Just make sure you think before you type.  Respond with compassion and respect and love.  Before you respond, think about how you would react if someone said the same words to you.  Make sure you're not a part of the problem you despise because very often, we are.



Here's to taking care of ourselves on Twitter!

Taking care of ourselves on Twitter is essential.  I'm sure there are things I'm missing here and please leave a comment below on what ways work for you.  Let's help everyone by sharing what we do.  After all, we're in this social media world together.  



Follow me on Twitter, @MindBodyThought









Blog Post And Images (c) 3/04/18 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Mental Health Awareness is More Than A Tweet

Written By Don Shetterly
There are some things I'm so annoyed by online that I can't hardly bring myself to think calmly about them.  I keep seeing everyone tweet, like, and share online that we need to promote mental health awareness.

While that is great, this is where it seems to stop.  We don't go any further than a tweet.  We don't really jump into it.  We just tweet, retweet, share and like and feel like we are doing something.

Two times, I've put out real hard information and helpful events that were "free" but in both cases, people ignore it and move on to the next mind-numbing tweet of the day.   There is no sign up for the event.  There is no sharing of the event to help others.

All we do is sit back and like or retweet that we need to bring mental health awareness to the world.  Great - I'm for awareness, but if that is where it stops, then what are we doing?  Are we just puffing up our tweet ego for the day?

If I'm upsetting you, I'm not going to apologize because I see this over and over every day.  Helping others with mental health issues and suicide is much more than saying that's what you do.  People need real help, not words on a screen.

Yes, I know the subjects are difficult to deal with and everyone wants to hide their heads in the sand.  Yes, I know that there are many ways to help and some people do all they can.  However, the number of tweets about mental health awareness far outnumber the actual things people do to really help.

We need to get off of our proverbial social media butts and do something good, rather than just claiming mental health awareness.  When events come along, support them.  Don't just ignore them.  When people need help, be there for them, just don't give them platitudes.

Lastly, if all we do is scream at others for not understanding the pain we are in, then we're not helping them to learn.  We end up turning them away.  Share your story with them.  Share not only your pain and struggle but what is helping you and what you are learning.  Offer a hand of support to others, not a bat to beat them over the heads.

(click to read)
I cringe every time I see the mental health awareness tweets go through because there are far too many that stop at the water's edge.  People struggling with mental health and suicide need others physically to be there for them.  Words on a page do very little.  Thoughts and prayers are empty if no action follows.

Ok, that's my soapbox.  If I have offended you, I'm not going to offer an apology right now.  I want people to be offended so they get up off their proverbial social media butts and do something.  If making someone upset that they aren't doing enough gets someone doing more than this blog post accomplished its purpose.





Blog Post And Images (c) 2/27/18 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, February 22, 2018

When Everyone Else Is Wrong

Written by Don Shetterly
These days we see this everywhere we turn, but especially in online social media.  When everyone else is wrong has become the norm for the day.

We look at others online or where we live as being wrong while we are right.  Sometimes, maybe far too many times, we see our significant others as the one being wrong, while we are right.

Yet, we don't stop to take a look at things from a comprehensive view.  We just think we are the ones that have the answers and have everything together.  We don't seriously entertain the thought that we might be the problem, not the answer.

Sure, we give lip service that we do take everything into account, and we see all sides of an issue, but the honest truth is, we don't.  I'm sorry if that bursts one too many bubbles, but as humans, we are so good at being disconnected, that we don't see life around us for what it is.

As humans, we've become so good at numbing, avoiding and distraction, that we barely see the issue before us in a complete way as it appears to our eyes.  We've altered truth for our reality.

Whether it is in politics or relationships, or in a boss and employee moment, we often see our side of things.  It could be in the simplest of ways that seem so insignificant, but all too often we think we are right and everyone is wrong.

It is human nature to protect ourselves.  That is the ego, devoid of awareness and consciousness.  It is part of us to walk around seeing only through our filters.

If you find yourself thinking everyone else is wrong, there's something flawed in your thinking.  If you find yourself saying, "but in this situation, they are wrong," you're missing out on something you are not seeing.  Not everyone else is wrong all of the time.  You're not right all of the time.


Instead, if we focus on where we agree and look to learn and understand from those we disagree, we will become wise.  If we allow ourselves to be opened up to that which we despise in the hope of more understanding, we will become wiser.

There is far too much right versus wrong thinking these days.  You see it on social media every day and you see it in relationships and other situations.  It has consumed all parts of our life.

We must learn how to step back from the ego and embrace awareness of our mind body so that consciousness shows us the way.  We must learn to listen and connect with our heart, rather than our head which filters everything we see and hear in our life.







Blog Post And Images (c) 2/22/18 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, February 13, 2018

What Is Love - Do We Really Know?

Written By Don Shetterly
Every day I see people making statements about love and how we should love one another.  This is the time of year where love is in the air.  Unfortunately, the more I hear about love, the more I wonder if anyone realizes what it means.

Love isn't something that goes around boasting about how much it exists or how it exists.  It doesn't grandstand or exclaim, "hey, look at me!"  For it does not have to do this since love can be seen, felt, and acknowledged for its existence.
Readily Seen
Love isn't something we have to convince others that we have.  If we have love within our hearts, it will be readily seen through our thoughts, actions, and words. It will just be evident without us banging our chests as if we are the most pronounced dealers in the world of love.

Love isn't about what others think of us or how much our ego enjoys to be noticed.  It requires that we be there for others in a pure, unselfish and unadulterated manner.  The behavior we see on display these days tends to be anything but this.

Transcends Everything

Love isn't about keeping score of what you've done for other people or how you've been successful.  It is not about the latest stories and trends and rants or raves of the day.  There is no need for it to connect with trending topics because love transcends everything.

Love is more than puffing up one's spiritual beliefs as it blinds them to the deeper truth in their own lives and worlds.   For love is something that operates at a higher moment than any man-made set of truths derived from beliefs, customs, and ideas passed from one generation to the next.

Sits Quietly

Love is not a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  Often, pure and true unadulterated love sits quietly in the background spreading to every corner of the room.  It needs to not draw attention because everyone in the room will know if it is there or not.

Love comes from deep within the heart of our mind and body, not the ego that we see at every turn today in our world.  It is felt within the body, not dictated by the mind.  When you're thinking about what you should do or how you should react, love is not necessarily the one in control.

Support

Love comes from surrendering to feelings and emotions of all types, not just the select few we wish to engage.  It is about bringing balance to the extremes, but recognizing that the extremes in life exist.

Love is full of compassion and help, assistance and support.  It knows and sees a bigger picture because it is connected at the core of all that it exists.  Since it is connected, there is a knowing and understanding that rises above the common discourse of the day.

In The Knowing

If you ask, what is love?  Go deep into your heart to search for the answers.  They will not be in what others proclaim or how other people say love will show up.  Love will be in the knowing and understanding that there is more which transcends this current moment.

We will see love through the thoughts, words, and actions of those that it inhabits.  It will just be there automatically without effort.

Connection

It will connect with others in a way that they know it exists.  Nothing will need to be said to see it, for it is a felt emotion that is strong and powerful and never-ending.

Love is more than enough.

Love is in great enough supply.

We need to tap into it and discard the darkness in our hearts so that we not only feel it, but we share it with everyone.

The world needs love.

The world needs love in a big way.

May we all find and embrace the love that flows to every person in this world.

Let us all be open to pure love without trying to mold it into what we think it should be.




Also, read the blog post, I Send Out Love.






Blog Post And Images (c) 2/13/18 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, February 8, 2018

Does Social Media Waste Time?

Written By Don Shetterly

I'm considering dropping off of social media altogether.  In my mind, I'm asking the question, does social media waste time?

If you drop off of social media, does that mean you still exist?  I wonder some days because it seems like all that matters.

On Facebook, people post "simple things" that would have been emailed forwarded at one time.  These things barely say anything, but everyone does it.  Then people react.  When I see that "someone has reacted," I'm thinking ok - is that a good thing?  It just seems so superficial to me.  It doesn't feel real or authentic on Facebook.  If it does to you, then by all means continue.  I've just seen people that once emailed me with "substance" now click like or react to something I've put on Facebook.

On Twitter, people retweet and do all kinds of gimmicks that just get annoying.  They are superficial responses in my mind.  After seeing a thousand of these come through at a time, it gets mind-boggling.  

On Instagram, people love to share pictures of their food or other things that you can barely tell what they are.  I guess if you're there, the image means something but to most people, it doesn't give a clear picture.  Of course, there are the likes on that as well which are supposed to mean something in our day.

Let's not even worry about all the other social media sites.  There are too many to name.

We have so much superficial communication going on that no wonder it seems like we're all so disconnected.  We have so many ways to connect with one another, and yet we're like superficial wanderers passing one another in the dark.

People rant and rave all day thinking they are doing something good, but in my view, it is just passing the stuff on, not helping in the least.  If you elevate that which you don't like, you're suppressing the good stuff in my view.

People exclaim how bad some people are, yet they go off and do the same thing.  Am I doing the same thing here?  I hope not.  They elevate the bullies by giving them a voice when if most bullies had no audience, they probably would not do half of what they do.  Maybe I just live in a pie-in-the-sky world with how I view things, but I'm really tired of all of this on social media.

I think we are either part of the solution or part of the problem.  The answer is not always out-screaming the other person proving that you're right and they are wrong.

Social media feels like a waste of time to me. 
I'm not sure if I will continue it or severely limit how
much time I spend on it (more than I do now). 


I honestly think we need to learn how to be human again in our communication.  Likes, retweets, shares, and screaming isn't doing it.  We're becoming less than human in my view.  It is not how you build a society or find ways to work together.  Well, at least in its current form, this is not working.

Surely we can find better ways to make use of social media then letting our own egos take control of the keyboard.  No, it isn't everyone else out there doing this.  We're all at fault.  We just don't see the log in our own eye.

What do you think?  How do you see Social Media?

By the way, read an earlier blog post about "Your Personal Power Of Communication."  It speaks more to this issue.





Blog Post And Images (c) 1/1/18 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Blinded To Heart Felt Compassion

Written By Don Shetterly
Lately, I've seen a pattern online.  I see how much people proclaim they are enlightened, smarter, better, more aware and more conscious.  In all reality, are they what they claim to be?

They will tell you that they are what they claim, but when you read their social media responses and postings, it leaves a lot to be desired.  You can quickly see that what they say, does not match up with what they do.

Of course, many will write some flowery responses as if they know what is going on and you don't.  When that happens, I can see through it from a million miles away.

It always amazes me how much people will condescendingly tell you, their thoughts after reading only a few words in something you share online.  They might not even read the link that corresponds to it, but it doesn't stop them from enlightening you on their thoughts.

There are so many times I see replies preaching to me about how I need to live my life.  Yet, the person doesn't know me.  They don't know what I've been through.  Often, they don't know what I'm struggling with at this moment.  It does not stop them though.  They must enlighten you with their response.

A long time ago, I found that instead of telling others what they should do, share with them how you've dealt with the same situation.  Let them know, what worked for you and what didn't!  Tell them the pitfalls you found along the way.  Make sure you share with them how difficult it was and how maybe at times you almost gave up.

Telling other people what you think they should do, causes undue stress to them.  It shows you really don't care what they are going through because you make it about what you have experienced.

When someone is struggling and hurting, the last thing they need is someone interjecting their misguided unresolved issues on them.  Yes, we may think we're doing something good, but turn the tables around on yourself.

Remember back to when you struggled with a difficult thing and what would your reaction have been?  No, don't go easy here on yourself and give yourself a pass.  Really be brutally honest with yourself, and I've got a feeling, if someone else told you what you're telling them, you wouldn't appreciate it.  It wouldn't be as helpful as you think it is.

When people are struggling and hurting and walking through the fire, they need to know there's a point beyond where they are at.  They need to know that if they reach out when they start to fall, someone will be there with a hand to help steady them.

Of course, if you have not healed yourself, then this will be hard to do.  In fact, I believe that there are so many wounded people walking around acting as if they are enlightened when in fact, they have not healed themselves.  You don't' have to be fully recovered to help others, but you need to be walking the path.  These days though, we claim we are, but we don't have much to show for it.


At the end of the day, learn how to truly be there for others with heartfelt compassion.  Learn how to engage your own feelings and emotions, not make yourself out to be a robot who has none.  Be human and be authentic because people can relate to that, much more than if you start telling them how they should think, feel, or live.

Before you think you don't do this, my guess is that you do.  It is so prevalent on social media and in real life these days, that most can no longer see it.  It is no longer obvious to them.  Their eyes have become blinded by their own thoughts, pain, and unhealed experiences of the past.

Be more than you are!  Connect with people from your heart.  People hurting and in pain will be able to see through what you are shoveling out the door.







Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, January 25, 2018

Holden On Showing At SF IndieFest



Did you hear?  Holden On is showing at the SF IndieFest!

This movie is for those that deal with mental health issues and mental illness.  It is about starting a discussion and raising awareness for anyone that deals with mental illness.

When I first saw this movie in Orlando at the Orlando Film Festival, it impacted me so much.  While I had no set agenda that day attending the film festival, I stumbled into this movie and I am glad I did.

I could tell you all about it, but here's a video clip of the movie, produced by Tamlin Hall.


If you would like to know more about it, check out the interview I did with the producer, Tamlin Hall.  The Mental Health Secret Of Holden On.


If you live near San Francisco, get your tickets today.


Please pass this on to everyone you know!  We all need to do everything we can to help those with mental health issues.  If we sit by in silence, then they suffer in silence.


If You Care - Show It

Written By Don Shetterly
Don't just state the word, I care and stop there!  If you care, show it!

I get so frustrated by people who say they care and want to be involved in your life, but their actions are a million miles from that point.

Yes, I know that I've got issues with this, but some people don't seem to put things together in the brain.  I'd just rather not hear the words come out of their mouth.  Then I would have no expectations that they care.  I'd be pleasantly surprised than let down.

See, that's the thing!  If you tell someone something and then don't follow through, it is one big let down.  If you honor what you say then you enrich your life and theirs.

I find it very offensive and disrespectful to hammer into someone's mind that you care and then you fail to show it.  If you care, show it!  It is that simple.

We've got too much hyperbole in this world today with screaming matches going on with other people.  We don't need more inauthenticity.  We don't need more words spoken.  What this world needs is people who are genuine and authentic and do what they say they will do.

It really hurts when you're treated this way.  The pain inflicts a million stabs into the heart.  May we all learn the basics of what being human is about because the world needs that more than ever.  We have gone too far the other way in this civilization.

So, if you care - SHOW IT!





Blog Post And Images (c) 01/1/18 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, January 16, 2018

How High And Mighty We Are

Written By Don Shetterly
It's all those other people out there.  It's the - insert label here - people.  You know, those that don't think like we do!  To this, I can only say, how high and mighty we are!  Yes, I say this with disbelief.

Too many of us think that we have all the answers.  I'm using the collective "we" because I don't want to let anyone off the hook on this blog post.  If it makes anyone feel uncomfortable, I'm perfectly fine with that at this moment.

You see, we label others, and we look down our noses at them.  We see them with contempt.  They are not like us.  They don't believe what we do, think like we do, talk like we talk or live in the way we think they should.  They are mistaken and misled people.  They are wrong.  These people know not what they do!

We look at people with disdain and as if they are the reason for our problems.  We strike out at them trying to correct them into human beings that we can associate with in our day.

After all, we feel we must tell them where they went wrong and just how misguided they are.  We must do this if we want the world to continue on because only we know best.

Then we take to social media to point out just how stupid others are.  They know not what they do, and we are here to tweet and like and post just how wrong they are.  Of course, we are the right ones.  We know best.  We must retweet and share for it is the only way others will know how lost they are.

While this is the way things seem to operate these days in our society, we're really all in this boat together.  While we may think we have the answers and are right in what we say, we're really throwing mud in the face of others.  Our eyes are so darkened that we cannot even begin to see this.

We've lost the way of listening to one other and engaging with each other.  No more do we honor and respect one another, and no it isn't because everyone else does not do this.  We've lost it within ourselves.   Respect for ourselves has vanished.

No longer are we connected to our heart and our mind body.  Instead, we obliterate ourselves with our busy, nonstop, stressful lives.  We pour junk into our guts hoping acting as if it doesn't matter while playing a dangerous game of risk with health treatments that fail to treat the root causes.

We have added so much horror on our days by not dealing with life's issues, but by numbing ourselves every second of the day.  Feelings and emotions are running for cover.  Heart and mind connected thoughts are silent.

If we continue this way, we'll be in a much worse mess than we are now.  We cannot sustain this because it is taking its toll on the human body and the mind.  It is not up to someone else to solve this.  This has to begin with each one of us.  Only we can turn it around in our lives.

While we may think we are high and mighty, in many ways, we are not.  The more we believe that everyone else is the problem, the more we have lost our way.


Stop for a moment.  Look at what you are doing to yourself and the world-at-large.  Leave no stone of discovery unturned.  Look deep and hard within your own mind and body and heart to see what needs the sunshine of truth.

Give up trying to pull the speck out of your brother's eye when you have a log in your own eye.  It is the only way to help anyone is by helping ourselves first.  Otherwise, we are just high and mighty as we continue to destroy the world we live in.








Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, January 15, 2018

Such A Beautiful Video by Laura

When I saw this video that Laura did from a poem she read in my book, it brought tears to my eyes.  When you know that something you have written touches someone else this deeply, it touches you more than words can say.

Laura creates some beautiful stuff with her videos, and I can't for the life of me understand why they don't all have thousands of views.  These are good quality videos that are positive and uplifting.  Yes, they sometimes deal with difficult subjects, but they leave you feeling good and hopeful.

I'm especially fond of the "Stephanie" character.  If you don't know what that means, then you've got to see the video.

Give Laura some love watching the video and subscribing!  Let's all support content that makes a difference!

And don't forget to check out my book, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma.










Sunday, January 14, 2018

I Feel Like Giving Up On This

Written By Don Shetterly
I'm tired and exhausted.  It feels like forever that I've tried building up something where I'm helping others while maintaining my life.  It feels like I've failed.

No, I don't require a wealthy lifestyle.  I don't require a lot of things.  I make do with what I have and try to live as simply as I can.  Heck, my cell phone is over 5 years old and not many do that.

If I wanted to tweet about politics all day long, I'm sure I'd have a bunch of followers.  There would be a lot of screaming, yelling, disrespect and name calling.  It might make me popular and might get more people acquainted with me, but the cost is too significant.  It is not what I desire.

On my blog, I try to focus on things that have helped me in my own life that maybe will help the world.  I don't just put out pretty happy thoughts that have little substance to them.  I give real-life examples of how I walked through the fire.

Yet, at the end of the day, I can't sustain myself with a living income.  My book and music sales are decreasing as if no one cares.  It really feels that way.  Supposedly my book has helped several, but you'd never know it by the lack of reviews and sales.  Supposedly my music is beautiful, but you'd never know it be the anemic sales.

There are far too many that are fake online and that seems like what I see more and more of these days.  Too many selling gimmicks and snake oil.  I try my hardest not to do that with the things I promote are ones that have helped me at one point or another.

Maybe I'm expecting too much online.  Maybe people want to be one-dimensional and half present.  Heck, it isn't just online.  It happens in real life for me.  Those who were once friends are distant unless I push them to connect.

So right now, I'm wondering if all the time I spend trying to help is really worth it.  I'm sure for those that it has helped, they are grateful.  It may just be time to move on and give up on what I've been working towards in my life.

I don't know the answers.  I've cried enough tears lately.  The only thing I know is I cannot continue to exist on nothing.  Somehow I've got to provide for basic necessities in my life.  At this point, I'm just not sure where to turn.






Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, January 11, 2018

Touched By A Butterfly

Written By Don Shetterly
There I was, struggling with all that life had thrown at me that day. I had been triggered, derailed and was struggling to come up for air.  Yet, in the midst of all the turmoil, I was touched by a butterfly.  That moment did so much for me.

I was at the butterfly exhibition located at UCF in Gainesville.  While there were many butterflies flying around, there were also a lot of people.  It was very crowded.

Most of the time, you need to stand real still for a butterfly to land on you.  I think they sense your energy and stillness which determines if they land on your or not.  Because of all the activity, they were not landing on many people.

As I stood there trying to dodge people walking by, I noticed a beautiful orange butterfly land on my foot.  For a moment, he just hung out there.  So, I stood there as still as I could while enjoying the moment.  I had my phone on record.

As I stood there, the butterfly began to make his way up my leg.  I was not about to move as I was enjoying the experience.  The more I stood still, the higher he climbed.  He then got to my waistline near my shirt and stopped.

I was afraid to move for fear I would scare him away.  Butterflies mean so much to me and I did not want to interrupt what was happening.

Even with all the people milling about, he continued to stay attached to my upper leg.  He was not going anywhere.  I did not want him to leave.

So as I continued to take pictures around me and move around ever so gently, he hung on to my clothes.  For the better part of an hour, he stayed right there with me, never leaving or moving.  I got more comfortable and started walking around the exhibit more, but he stayed with me.

Finally, when it was getting late and I was ready to leave, I had one of the workers lift him from me.  The orange butterfly was so calm and relaxed.  It really struck me as odd that he did not want me to leave and I didn't want him to leave either.

Through the difficult moments I was experiencing, this little butterfly touched me deeply.  It was almost as if he was there letting me know that I was special to him.  He impacted my heart in a way that got through the pain.

I'll never forget the butterfly.  I love the creatures so much, but this one definitely stole my heart.  Realizing that they only live for a short time and what they go through to be born, I'm in awe of what he meant to me.

Sometimes in our deepest darkest moments of hurt, it is the little things that touch us the most.  These are the things that can reach through the pain and help us find a moment of support.  Yes, nature is one of the greatest gifts in life I believe.

Here's a little video of the butterfly (on my Instagram account) crawling up and hanging out with me.  Seeing the video brings tears to my eyes.  I know, you had to be there to experience it firsthand, but hopefully, my little story will help remind you of something important.  If you're down and hurting, connect with nature.  Nature has a way of healing our soul and our pain.

My life was forever changed that day when I was touched by a butterfly.





Blog Post And Images (c) 1/1/18 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, January 4, 2018

When Life Throws So Much At You

Written By Don Shetterly
I know I am a person with great strength, but right now as I am writing this, it doesn't feel that way.  By the time you read this, hopefully, things will have changed.  I wanted to jot my thoughts down in case others resonated with what I am writing.

In my life, I don't shy away from difficult parts of my healing.  I usually go into them head first when many sometimes do the opposite.  However, with all that has come up and slapped me in the face, I'm seriously reconsidering my philosophy on life.

It has not been easy.  I've wanted to give up a few times.  In many ways, I don't feel like I've got anyone to talk to or ask for help.  It feels like most of the ones I go to, just aren't there this time.  Maybe that's the break to something different.  I don't know.  However, I can tell you it is not an easy place to be in.

During these most recent moments, it has felt like the foundation below my feet dropped out.  At the same time, I've been pushed around by gale force winds that make it hard to regain my footing.  There have been many moments where I questioned, could I even make it through this.  Did I have what it takes?

For me to ask that question means the storms are hitting hard.  I've already been through paralysis and depression, anxiety and suicide.  Not to mention, there was a near-death experience and a complete loss of everything I once knew in life.  I have managed to rise out of the ashes from those experiences, but this moment is taking me to a whole new level.

I'm hunkered down in my cave right now waiting for the storm to subside enough I can step back out into the sunshine.  I'm doing this through spending time alone and writing and creating.  These are the things that I grasp on to when nothing else seems to work.  Nature is also a big part of my comfort and support because nature understands when humans do not.

In many ways, I know and realize that I have made it this far.  In those times of the distant past, I wondered then as well, did I have what it takes?  To realize that my memory was gone and I had to relearn how to walk and do the basics, I can see I made it through those insurmountable odds.


These are the things I carry with me during this time.  They are what keeps me going and stopping me from ultimately giving up.  There have been times recently that I had to really fight to say to my self, "I Know You Can Do This!"

I'm hopeful for easier days.   May the easier moments arrive soon!  I long for a normalness to my day and night.  As I keep reminding myself of words, I share with others, "this too shall pass."










Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, January 2, 2018

How Far Can You Go?

Written By Don Shetterly
What can you be today in your life?  How far can you go?  What is possible?

We should ask ourselves these are questions continually.  We have the potential to be more than we are at this moment no matter what we are facing.

I have faced insurmountable odds in my life and been told that I'll never regain my life.  I have proved everyone wrong that has said this to me.

We have potential that we often don't realize we do.  When push comes to shove, we can usually rise far about where we are.  In difficulty, that's when we find our strength.

So ask yourself these questions.


  • What can you be today in your life?
  • How far can you go?
  • What is possible?



By asking the question, you are inviting your mind to see life in ways that may not be visible.  You're giving yourself a way forward beyond where you currently are in your life.

Let's start out this year thinking about what can be, not all that is not.

Join with me and give your thoughts in the comments below.






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