Hope Tells You To Keep Going

Written by Don Shetterly

Sometimes this is very difficult when you are facing challenging times.  However, hope tells you to keep going when everything else says to give up.  Listen to hope and know that you will make it through these moments.  You just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

When Life Throws So Much At You

Written By Don Shetterly

I know I am a person with great strength, but right now as I am writing this, it doesn't feel that way.  By the time you read this, hopefully, things will have changed.  I wanted to jot my thoughts down in case others resonated with what I am writing.

In my life, I don't shy away from difficult parts of my healing.  I usually go into them head first when many sometimes do the opposite.  However, with all that has come up and slapped me in the face, I'm seriously reconsidering my philosophy on life.

It has not been easy.  I've wanted to give up a few times.  In many ways, I don't feel like I've got anyone to talk to or ask for help.  It feels like most of the ones I go to, just aren't there this time.  Maybe that's the break to something different.  I don't know.  However, I can tell you it is not an easy place to be in.

During these most recent moments, it has felt like the foundation below my feet dropped out.  At the same time, I've been pushed around by gale force winds that make it hard to regain my footing.  There have been many moments where I questioned, could I even make it through this.  Did I have what it takes?

For me to ask that question means the storms are hitting hard.  I've already been through paralysis and depression, anxiety and suicide.  Not to mention, there was a near-death experience and a complete loss of everything I once knew in life.  I have managed to rise out of the ashes from those experiences, but this moment is taking me to a whole new level.

I'm hunkered down in my cave right now waiting for the storm to subside enough I can step back out into the sunshine.  I'm doing this through spending time alone and writing and creating.  These are the things that I grasp on to when nothing else seems to work.  Nature is also a big part of my comfort and support because nature understands when humans do not.

In many ways, I know and realize that I have made it this far.  In those times of the distant past, I wondered then as well, did I have what it takes?  To realize that my memory was gone and I had to relearn how to walk and do the basics, I can see I made it through those insurmountable odds.

These are the things I carry with me during this time.  They are what keeps me going and stopping me from ultimately giving up.  There have been times recently that I had to really fight to say to my self, "I Know You Can Do This!"

I'm hopeful for easier days.   May the easier moments arrive soon!  I long for a normalness to my day and night.  As I keep reminding myself of words, I share with others, "this too shall pass."

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly

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Sometimes We Break Into Many Pieces

Written By Don Shetterly

It is a given in life I think that sometimes things don't go as planned.  Sometimes we break into many pieces.  When this happens, it is never fun, but sometimes it is necessary.

I can look back at my life and see just how many times I felt so broken inside.  The moments where I felt like I could not go on and I would not make it.  Experiences that felt like they were taking me under as I gulped for my last breath of air.

In these moments of life, I felt like I had broken into so many pieces that there would never be a way to put myself together.  I didn't believe at those times that I could go on and make it in life.  In fact, at one point I went through the paralysis of Conversion Disorder. It felt like walking again was a pipe dream.

Through all of those moments, I came to realize that I could make it.  I had more strength within myself than I realized existed at that second.  When I thought there was no more to get, somehow I reached further down and found more strength.

I also came to realize that sometimes when I felt so broken, that it was in those moments where I found my way forward.  It almost took the millions of pieces I had become before I could begin to piece life back together.

In fact, I think for the junk in life I no longer needed, the pieces had to break.  It was the only way out for the stuff that was no longer useful.  If I hadn't broken into many pieces, I would have held on to the things forever.  In the end, I would not have made it without going through this step.

While I know, it isn't easy when your life has been shattered.  I know it is difficult to see that this may result in something good.  I understand that.  However, I know in my own life, and I've got a feeling you do too, that you will make it through this.  I've got a feeling that you'll discover strength you didn't know what was present.

Even though sometimes we break into many pieces, just remember that we can always put ourselves together.  When we do this, we often find a much stronger way of piecing our life back, so we're more prepared to take on so much more in the future!

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Blog Post And Images (c) November 28, 2017, by Don Shetterly

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My Heart Goes Out

Written By Don Shetterly

There are so many things happening in our world today that some days I'm not sure how to respond.  I"m not sure I have the words or the actions or the thoughts to respond appropriately.  I feel lost in a tormented sea that we call life and humanity.  I feel lost in a never-ending cycle of hatred and disrespect.


I write to try and make sense of things.  I write to try to understand my own thoughts and not allow myself to get stuck in what is going on, but what can be.  It is the only way I know to move through the horrible trauma, stress, and difficult moments in life.

Natural Disasters...

My heart goes out to those impacted by natural disasters because I know from firsthand experience that it changes a life forever.  What you once held dear and steadfast no longer remains.  It shakes the foundation of all that you have come to know, but I know that you can rebuild and come back from it.  I'm not going to say it is easy, but I know it is possible.

Weeps For Hatred Upon Others...

My heart goes out to those who find a way to interject their hatred upon others through just about every story or event of our day.  My heart weeps for those that do this because it is not what humanity is about, or the display of what it means to be working together to advance life on this planet.  I weep for those that are impacted by this because the hatred (often disguised as love and truth) hurts each and every member of civilization.

For Those Who've Been Abused...

My heart goes out to all those that have been abused, and are struggling to find their way in the darkness.  Their footing may seem shaky, and the lights of their lantern may appear dim, but they are trying.  They are hurting, and my heart weeps for them.  I wish I could swallow them up with a giant hug of love and support and take the pain away.  I know though that healing is a part of their journey and so through the pain, they will find their way.

Those Who Are Not Awake...

My heart goes out to all those that are not awake, living outside of their body, or not connected to the real source of life within their existence.  There is so much more, but I understand how desensitized we can become, falling for the latest flashy thing of the day.  I realize how much humans minimize things and therefore diminish all parts of their life.  I know we can be more if we stop and connect with our mind and our body, not just one or the other.

I know of no other way to deal with things.  I know of no other way to help than by letting my heart be my guide.  My heart goes out.

Hopefully, we can begin to turn the tide of hatred and evil poison in this world by first making sure our hearts are pure and clean.  We need to love ourselves fully and begin to purge the toxic poisons that fill our mind and body.

Through loving ourselves and cleaning our own lives out, we can be there for others with a heart that is willing, ready and can help bring new possibility to difficult moments.  Let each of us, individually, focus on lifting the world up, not dragging it down.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Avoidance Is Not Helpful

Written By Don Shetterly

This subject is one I still haven't fully learned.  Maybe it is because it is a human condition that we employ when things get a little too tough.  Avoidance is one of my go-to-coping skills, but when I avoid things, I tend to make them worse.  It was my survival tactic growing up in a world full of trauma and abuse.


Take for example the recent tooth pain that I kept trying to mask and ignore.  I found ways to compensate for it that kept me disconnected from it.  I'm amazed at just how far I went so I didn't have to deal with it.  I avoided it instead, and by doing this, I've probably caused myself a lot more expense.

Avoidance is being employed by almost everyone at record setting paces these days.  Times are tough in life right now.  We are going through horrible moments as a civilization on this planet.  The atmosphere and energy all around are divisive and toxic.  Everywhere you look there is something that is upsetting.  Even if you try to distance yourself from all of it, the feeling of that toxic energy is still prevalent.

We Turn To Things That Distract Us...

To deal with it, we do as I did on the tooth pain.  We turn to things that distract us and keep us from dealing with reality.  We consume things to help give us comfort.  We act all happy and smiles when we're crumbling inside.  We put our attention on anything but the moment that is happening before us because it is just too difficult.

Avoidance can be good in the short term.  It may help you get from one moment to the next so you can deal with the issue.  However, when we continue to avoid the issues that are troubling, we only do harm to our body, mind, and spirit.  We take in the toxic poison as if it is our sustenance, thereby hurting us for years to come.

Avoidance brings us out of consciousness and awareness.  It puts us in the passenger seat instead of being in control of our life.  When we are out of control, the fear and panic and despair set in causing us further long term effects.

During these times of immense stress and toxic poisoning, we owe it to ourselves to reverse the course.  There are things we can do to help alleviate it and take care of ourselves, rather than just giving in to what is happening.

Here are some things that help in moments like this.

• Try spending some time outdoors listening to the birds and feeling the rays of the sun upon your face.  Try feeling the wind or breeze on your skin and just feel every bit of it that you can.  

• Trying focusing on your breathing for 30 seconds or a minute at various times during your day.  Connect and feel your breath.  This does not need to be elaborate and can be very simple. The act of stopping and noticing your breath can be very centering and be grounding in your body.

• Learn to disengage from the toxic conversations occurring online for they are not as helpful as they may seem.  They get the body and mind all revved up as if you are going into battle.  Online conversations do little but fuel the fire and hatred that is so prevalent in our society these days.  If you disengage, you are stating to yourself that you are valuable and worth more.

• Learn to shut off the TV because the news is not enlightening as you may think.  The videos and sounds and opinions stated are meant to engage you into an emotional reaction.  The more you keep your emotions wound up to the max, the less you are connected to your body.  In time, it leads to avoidance of your mind and body.

We all have choices we make.  We may or may not be conscious and aware of them, but we make these decisions every day.  Either we employ avoidance, or we stand up and choose differently what we engage with in a day and all that we take in with each moment we are alive.

You don't' have to hide your head in the sand to what is going on, but a fraction of the toxic poisoning these days is more than enough.  It may help to picture yourself drinking a glass of toxic poisoning each time you engage with what is going on in the world.  However, before long the effects of the poisoning would be felt.

If we want to change the world, we need to stop avoiding life and learn how to give our mind and body a choice of rest and peace, comfort, and love.  We need to choose wisely because if we don't, we will pass the point of no return, and then it will be difficult to find our balance.

What are some ways you avoid difficult things in life?  What do you do to deal with them?  Share your thoughts in a comment below.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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We Have Answers Within

Written By Don Shetterly

It is so easy to go through difficult moments and cry out, begging for answers.  I know, I've done it many times.  I believe it is part of human nature and the cycle of suffering.  We forget, though, in these times that we have answers within our mind, body, and spirit.

While the answers may be there and we may acknowledge to some level that they are, we often don't believe it.  We feel isolated and trapped.  We feel discouragement and despair.  It often appears that there is no hope and no way forward.

At times we reach those moments of so much despair and agony, that nothing can convince us there is more beyond our current moment.  It almost becomes like we have reached our point of no return and so we spiral down further into the dark hole of our existence.

That flicker of hope...

Having answers within us is like saying you can be warm sitting outside in a blizzard.  It just doesn't compute at that moment.  Deep down, there may be that flicker of hope, but it grows harder to access with each waking minute.

I still remember staring up at the ceiling of my hospital room when I was 26 years old and dealing with Conversion Disorder.  Doctors told me my brain was shutting down as evidenced by not being able to walk, barely being able to move and struggling to verbally communicate.  At that point, I could barely remember my name or even feel a needle being pricked into the bottom of my foot.

I felt hopeless in those moments.  I felt like there was no way out.  In fact, at that moment, I was not sure if I wanted a way out.  Believing that I held the answers within was almost like watching a comedy routine.  Yet, I asked myself the question, "Is this all I can expect for my life?"

As significant moments came through one by one, I started to realize that if I was going to make it, I had to find the answers within myself.  No, there was no road map to discovery.  There was no one to ask.  There was no book to read, and the internet was not in existence like it is now.

I had to find my answers...

I had to go full throttle into the darkness of the unknown, believing that if I could not give up, I would find the answers to the situation I was in.  It was not easy.  Many told me their versions of beliefs and opinions that I should try, but more often than not, those things were of little help.

I had to find out what was my own truth.  I had to see what the answers were that I held within my mind, body, and spirit.  No one could tell me those things for no one was walking in my shoes.

More importantly, though, I did not give up.  I did not let deterrents like learning to walk again or bringing my memory back stop me.  I did not let obstacles like anxiety, depression, and normal life functions stop me.  I did not give up.

In a new book I am working on, I have detailed more of the things I used to help me find the answers within and heal my body.  It is not a recipe that everyone should follow step-by-step.  It is more of the concepts that I learned along the way in my own healing.  These are the life-changing moments, not my beliefs or opinions as to what heals.

All too often, we face life's challenges, and we neglect the wealth of knowledge and insight we hold within our mind, body, and spirit.  It is in this recognition that we will make it through from the lowest moments to the points where we have hope and possibility.  When we discover that all of our experiences have led us to this moment, it is then that we find those answers within ourselves.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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You Will Make It Through This

Today, I think I'm writing this as much for myself as I am for anyone.  Often we go through difficult and trying times and some days, it just doesn't feel like we're going to make it.  In those moments, all seems fruitless and hopeless.

However, I know from experience that we will make it through what comes our way.  Humans are resilient and we can go through a lot while still standing at the end of the day.

It may feel like you can't make  it.  It may seem like you can't make it.  In fact, the giant wave may be crashing down upon you, but keep in mind that you will make it through this.

You will make it!  Have confidence that you will.  Repeat it over and over as many times as  you have to that you will make it through this.

Sometimes I have to go back and remind myself that in the darkest of times, I found hope.  In the most trying of times, I found something solid to stand on.  In the hopelessness that I felt, I had to look for the smallest of silver linings there was.

Recall a previous moment...

Often I look back and I try to recall a previous moment when it felt like all was lost.  If I can get my mind to take a look back and see that I made it through that moment, then it is easier to convince myself that I can make it through this.

No, I won't lie to you.  I won't say it is always easy to get from where you may be in this moment.  That would be dishonest and it isn't reality.  I can just say from my own life and my own experience, I have made it through moments that I never thought I would.

So, I'd like to hear from you.  How have you made it through those difficult times?  How do you remind yourself or prove to yourself that you've made it through times that felt hopeless?

Please leave your comments below because I think it would help encourage everyone to see how others make it though those difficult moments in life.

#PainfulMoments

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Some Days I Fly and Some Days I Don't

Life is ever changing.  There are both good and bad moments sometimes leading us where we need to go and other times challenging us for where we need to be.

Some days I fly.

Some days I don't.

Some days I can soar like the eagles and sea gulls, seeing all that is before me and readily knowing what lies ahead.  Sometimes in those moments, even the challenges make sense and I know that I too can rise above the floods overtaking the ground below me.

Some days I don't soar like the birds as the challenges get great.  At times I am faced with insurmountable odds, not knowing where my next foot step goes or what the next movement should be.

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed at the challenges that lie before me.

The one common thing between the days that I fly and the days that I don't, is that no matter what, I have to keep moving.  I can't give up.  I can't stop.  Even if it seems dark before me, I must keep trudging onward because that's the only way I will find the light of illumination for my path.

In the days that I struggle to fly, it isn't easy.  I will not make any claims that it is.  However, I keep reminding myself that no matter what is going on in this moment, this too shall pass.

It will not last.  It will not prevail.

 

There are moments that are meant as challenges to prepare us for future growth ahead.  When those challenges hit, may we all remember that we can fly.  May we see our lives soaring like the birds and not giving up because that moment may be too difficult.

Some days I fly.  Some days I don't.  This is all part of life because even birds in flight stop to rest upon the ground, so they can once again soar through the sky.


#RelaxingPianoMusic

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Can I Keep Going?

Some days, it feels like the vultures are circling.  Some days I'm not sure if I care because I feel exhausted and tired and like this moment will never end.  Some days it just feels all too much for me to take in.

The question becomes, can I keep going?  I know, I probably can, but often times it sure doesn't feel like it.  It feels like it is a circus ride that will never end.

I know I've been here before.  I know I've beat the odds of what was supposed to happen.  I know I wasn't supposed to make it this far according to the doctors and my friends - but I did.

Some days it is hard to see the support around me, much less listen to it.  Some days, my body and mind feel tired and worn out from the fight.  Yet, I know I can't stop - there's so much more left to do.

Can I keep going?  I sure hope so!  Even in the moments where I think all hope is loss, I cling on to the hope that tomorrow or the next moment will be different.  Something will make it worth more than I think it is now.

Its not always easy...

Can I keep going?  No, its not easy.  I won't sugar coat it.  Yet, I know I have come this far and I have to keep going.  I have to win because the more I make it, the more the monsters in my life fail.  I cannot let them win.

For now, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Sometimes I take big steps and sometimes they are little steps.  Once in awhile I stand still or take a step back to balance myself.  Yet, I keep trying to walk forward.

It is up to me if I can keep going or not.  I feel like my life has endured so much already and it has.  I am just not ready to stop and sit in the ditch along the road of life, thinking there is no use to continuing on.

I will keep walking.  I won't give up!

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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In The Middle Of The Storm

Imagine you're in a ship on middle of the high seas.  The winds are blowing and the waves are high.  Yet, for as far as you can see, that's what you see.  That is your experience.  It doesn't feel like there are any calm waters anywhere close to you.  It doesn't feel like there is an end in sight.

Your entire world revolves around the storm on the high seas.  You're in the middle of it.  You're in the thick of it, but yet it feels normal.  It feels like what life is supposed to be.  It feels like there is nothing else.

You could also view the storm as the emotions and difficulties and trials and struggles.  They are in great supply as if they are never ending.  You may be struggling to see the sun rise and set because of the storm clouds gathered around you.

This can often feel like what life is all about in our day.  Our mind thinks one thing, but our body disconnects and numbs.  Our body thinks one thing but our mind stays a million miles away.  Nothing seems normal or connected.  Nothing seems like there is peace and calm deep within.  There is this never ending sense of this is life.

There might be something different...

As we heal, we begin to get a thought or a glimpse that there might be something different.  While that may be extremely difficult at first, it may be nothing more than a hope that we long for in our life.  It may be the peaceful calm waters after the storm.

At times, the storm clouds rage on and we beg for mercy.  We pray that we will be spared and the storms will end.  We hope to find something beyond where we are at - a moment of solace - a moment of peace or just a moment of rest.

A greater glimpse...

Continuing through our healing, we begin to get a greater glimpse that where our life is heading is possible.  It isn't just a hope but something of a reality.  It is little moments of seeing the sun break through the clouds.  It is an moments of easing from the rough waves.

As we continue in healing, more and more comes into view.  More calm waters show up in periods of rest and recharge and renewal.  We begin to see there's so much more.  We can almost touch it, feel it and sense it.  It may seem a little beyond our grasp, but we know it is there beckoning to have the courage to keep going.

It is in that moment that we understand where the potential lies.

As difficult as the emotional stuff may be, nothing is more difficult than being stuck

Yes, while we know that the storm clouds are not fun, we do know they lead to calmer waters.  We had to pass through the storm to find them.  We had to realize that the storms would lessen and even the horrifying trip through it, there was nothing more difficult than being stuck there and not sailing on.

So keep sailing.  Sail through the storm.  Know that the difficult emotional stuff is temporary and it too will pass if we don't stop sailing along in our life.  It is up to us to keep our sails pointed forward and then let the winds of life help us find our way.  

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Making It Through Painful Moments

I was asked what it was like when I walked away from my family in order to survive.  How did I make it through the painful moment.  Much of this applies to how survivors of childhood sexual abuse and other trauma deal with making it through painful moments.

Walking away from my family was the only way I could make it because the family was so toxic, that in order for me to heal and make it, I had to let go. It was not easy.  They didn't just go away quietly either.

It was extremely difficult to walk away.  I struggled hard with that. I had anxiety attacks just to go get my mail out of the mailbox.  It was a time in my life that I had to let go of things that held me down.  These painful moments were difficult beyond comprehension.

Far too many people have told me that you create your own family.  While that is true, there is a biological connection that can never be replaced (well, it seems that way in my mind).  When you fought your entire life growing up to just be a part of the family and have those that are supposedly there for you, abuse you - then family is just one messed up and tangled mess.  It isn't as easy to create a family unit as many people try to tell you that it is.

Sometimes I get to the moment that I want to reunite with them, but then I hear stories from others and it is a caution to me to tread carefully into those treacherous waters.  I choose to not swim in the swamp, especially after hearing these stories.  Holidays usually bring that up front and center to me, even though I try to flee from it as fast as I can.

My head swirled for days...

After the incident where a relative asked me If I wanted to come to their house when a family member was in the area, my head swirled for hours, days from the anxiety… heck I don’t know when it stopped.  I won’t say it was easy.  I won’t say it magically was all better the next day.  The only thing I know is that I was stronger at that moment than I was in the past.  In the past, I made it through this, so if I’m stronger – I knew I would make it through this moment.  It is what I had to hold on to at that point.  That’s healing.  Yet, it was doused with anxiety and pain.

Yes, we often feel like we have dropped back so many steps and we’re in a deficit, but in many ways – we’re still further ahead.  We make it though somehow.  We live to fight another day somehow.  Sometimes, that’s all that matters in the moment.  We’re making it.  We’re living to fight another day.

Where we are in that moment...

It's okay if we find ourselves on the floor, struggling and hurting and wondering if we’ll ever make it.  It’s okay because in that moment, because that’s where we are.  That is what it is in that moment.  It is from that where we find our footing again and our way forward.  Only this time, we are more full of power and energy and strength because we’ve made it this far already.  We've got another sword in our supply closet and more tools in our toolbox.

When I laid in the hospital bed wondering if I would ever walk again, it took me to the point of utter despair where I screamed out – am I okay with this?  Am I comfortable with being a vegetable – unable to walk, talk, take care of myself.  It was in that moment that I found my footing.  It was in that moment that I started to move forward, not even realizing I was doing this and not even knowing how to move forward.  Sometimes in that moment, that is more than enough.  The rest will come.  The rest will fall into place.

I wasn't supposed to walk again...

I wasn’t supposed to walk again.  I wasn’t supposed to work or function like most people.  I was not expected to make it out of the conversion disorder.  No one could tell me the way out.  No one could show me the way out.  I had to fight, and kick, and scream every step of the way walking into the blindness of the fog that was before me.  It was in those dark moments that my journey of healing was already happening.

Yes, there are the voices.  Yes, they get loud.  They try hard to hold me down.  They fight against me telling me that I can't make it through this. They tell me I'm not good enough.  They tell me I'm not worthy.  They tell me I will not make it.   I just tell them to rot in hell…    And if they keep coming back up, I just repeat the previous statement.

We’re making it… we really are.  We’re moving into deeper layers and further awareness even if it is hard to comprehend what that means in that moment.

I know you are making it – because I’ve walked similar roads and I still remember what the shoes feel like when walking in them.

Find whatever it is that helps shift you from all that you’re struggling against – and push the gas pedal to the floor.  Call on your angels or God or the universe or whoever it is you believe in – just ask for them (it) to be there.  Just know that you’re not alone.  Call on your support network and your friends.  Be close to your pets and animals.  These things will help hold you while you find the strength to keep going.

Know that making it through painful moments may not be easy, but you can do this.  We're all in this together and together we help one another along.  Grab the hand out in front of you because it is someone that knows where the path leads.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Some Days I Struggle

I know with all that I've been through in the past that life is not necessarily easy.  I have my good days and bad days.  Sometimes the struggles of the past come up to haunt me and work hard at pulling me under.

Sometimes people try to make it look like all they have are great days, but I know that this is anything but the truth.  I get irked when people try to paint happy thoughts while you're in the midst of the mud and muck making your way to dry ground.

We need more people who are honest and real, instead of those that try to gloss over the moments of difficulty and pain.  The pain has to come out and the more we hold it in, the more we harm our mind, body, emotions, and spirit.  

Below is a list of things I struggle with in no particular order.  I know, we all have our list of things.  I'm just verbalizing mine.  They appear in no special order.

My hope is that by verbalizing mine, it will start a conversation to help others share their lists and give them some measure of healing.  We need one another to lean on, not to chastise and brush off.

I struggle to:

• Accept the quietness of friends who barely speak to me at times wondering if I've done something wrong or they are just lost in their own moments of life.
• Find a way to make it in this world on a consistent basis even though I know I have many talents and skills.
• Do the things I want, not necessarily the things that I have to do.
• Feel the disappointment of those I look up to who don't feel I measure up.
• Accept the pain of a past that is so horrifying that it is difficult to even think about or view some days.
• Deal with those that desire to take advantage of my niceness because they can't balance their needs and desires and honesty in being human.
• Know that my biological family thinks I'm the worst person around because I dared to spill their secrets by trying to heal my own life.
• Grasp everything that I've experienced in life because often it is so overwhelming and too difficult to understand or comprehend.
• Try and hide all the triggers that possess me while trying to heal and remove the power they hold over me.
• Understand why people who claim to have been my friend in the past desire to walk all over me as if I'm nothing more than a doormat for their life.
   
• Realize that anyone loves me and that I truly matter even if I know I they do and even if there are some that show they love and care about me.
• Find answers in the many questions that my mind does not seem to solve or my life seems to demand to know.
• Understand why I hear, sense, feel and see so much but yet it all seems all like a confusing mass of information that I can barely process.
• Comprehend how people can be so mean to one another and not even realize it while they shout insults with such force and velocity and exclamation.
• Make sense of a world that honors religious beliefs but yet those same religious beliefs are hurled as arrows against others, while harboring their own faults in a safe harbor as if they don't exist.
• Understand how to forgive all the pain that was inflicted upon me when the ones who did it act as if it was okay, they are righteous, and I'm the one that caused the problem - not them.
• Not fully understand why others cannot see what I can see and understand what it is that I understand.  It all seems so simple, but to others, it is not.
• Write the words that will help the most because it feels like my words are never enough in a world of turmoil, torture, pain, and disrespect.

I continue to work on these things each day because as I know, I'm a work in progress.  I know that we aren't on this earth to just wait out our days until we die.  We are here with a purpose, but sometimes that purpose is so clouded by what we've endured in life.
 

I'm not one that settles for what is or for the easy meme and saying that will magically make everything seem like it has disappeared and is better.  Instead, I'm one that keeps questioning and going deep within myself to learn more, grow more, and understand more.

Yes, some days I struggle, but it in that struggle that I remind myself - I'm becoming more than I am today.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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What Gets You Through Difficult Moments

What do you use?  What gets you through your difficult moments?  Is it a higher power that you turn to or the support of your friends?  Maybe you stay focused during those moments and maybe you're like many who are anything but focused.

I know for me, I've learned different tools and tricks throughout the years.  I used to suffer from extreme anxiety that prevented me from being around people or going in stores.  I had to learn techniques that I could use to help myself so I could get past the extreme anxiety.  From time to time, I still struggle with anxiety but it isn't as bad.

I have had plenty of difficult moments in life and some have almost completely taken me under.  There are times when I've felt like I could barely crawl back up out of the whole I had dug for my life.  Yet, somehow I managed to keep going and get through difficult moments.

It will not last forever...

One of the things that I think is important is to realize that whatever you are going through, it will pass.  It will not last forever.  You will find a way through it.  Yes, I know it may not seem like that in the present moment, but it too shall pass.

Another thing is that sometimes you have to lean on those around you for support.  Sometimes they are the strength that you don't have in that moment.  There are just times when they help shine the flashlight on the difficult path you are walking down.

There are times in difficult moments when you have to be assertive and ask others for help.  Sometimes other people have no clue what you need and unless you ask for what you need, how will they know how to help you?  By you asking for what you need, you will be taking care of yourself and working to find a way through the difficult moment.

Regroup and Reassess...

Sometimes you have to regroup and reassess where you are, where you are going and what you need to do to get there.  This often involves a time of rest or slowed down activity.  Sometimes what once seemed vital and important to life is no longer at the level as your eyes get opened to new things during difficult moments.

Realizing that sometimes a difficult moment is one that you will look back on in future days and see just how it shifted you or how it brought you to some experience you needed to see.  Sometimes it is what propels us forward into what we need to do, rather than stay complacent in what we've done.  I know that isn't easy during difficult moments, but as I've looked back in my life, I continue to see just how true this is.

Allowing yourself to be in that difficult moment is something I've been learning how beneficial it is.  It helps me move through those moments easier and quicker, rather than getting stuck in them.  Yes, I know, if you would have told me years ago that this was true, I would have scoffed in your face.  I'm just learning more and more to surrender into the difficult moment and see what it is that I am to learn from it.  It truly does help, even if it is hard to do this.

Hope and Possibility Through Trauma...

I always try to keep in mind just how far I have come and what I have faced, endured, and triumphed over.  In 1991, I was paralyzed by a Conversion Disorder which I've written about in my book, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma. None of that was easy, but as I look back, I can see just how far I've come.  Each of us has those moments in life that we can look back towards and know that we too can make it through this.

Getting through difficult moments is unique to each person.  What works for one person, may not work for someone else.  So find out what gets you through difficult moments.  Make it a part of your life to see what is beyond where you're at while accepting that this difficult moment you are in is only temporary.  It too shall pass.

Sometimes a playlist of music can be of great help.  I've done that through many times where I can just hit play on the playlist.  It is one of the things I've used to help with anxiety, relaxation, and just taking me out of the moment I was in.  I've sang to some music when no one was home and cried to other songs.  We all have songs that move us in one way or another.

Whatever it is that you do to get yourself through difficult moments, tweak it and change it to meet the needs of that moment.  You may find that what you do to deal with difficult moments will change over time as you learn new things about yourself and become stronger through past moments.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Allow The Healing Process To Unfold

Some days the simplest thing you can do is just be and observe.  Sometimes doing nothing, but observing whatever situation you may find yourself in, becomes the most powerful thing that you can accomplish in that day.

Often we want our problems solved in an instant.  We want to be healed from pain or trauma or a past that haunts us.  We want it to be done now.

Yes, we may be tired of fighting the good fight.  We may be tired of carrying on when life seems to difficult to endure.  We may be down on our strength and energy and resolve, but this is the time to stop and observe and just be in this moment.

Answers are there for our lives...

Answers are there for our lives.  Healing is waiting and often times happening when we don't even see it.  It isn't a matter of when will it take place or when will the answer appear.  It is a moment of observing and seeing what is right before our eyes.

It is part of being human to demand answers now and expect our lives to be healed.  It is part of having to endure much more than any human should ever have to face. It is part of a process that connects to something bigger, even if that is so hard to comprehend or even believe is possible.

We have made it this far...

We need to keep in mind that no matter how tough our days get, we have made it this far.  We have overcome so much up until this point.  Let us focus on these thoughts as our mind and body reach out to us with answers that will not only sustain us, but keep us moving forward.

Healing and difficult times are a process that unfolds as we are ready and allow into our life.  Sometimes when we think we are ready and when we truly are ready, don't show up at the same time.  It is a process.  Allow it to unfold.  Allow it to become all that it is and just be in that moment with all that you are at this time in your life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Thrown Into the Fire

Sometimes when you're in the middle of something that is difficult, it isn't easy to see any way forward.  It is not easy to understand that it might be the most helpful thing for you.  In fact, sometimes it is just too much too bear, that the last thing you want to think about is how helpful it may be.

In the past several months, I've had extremely difficult moments to deal with in life.  It isn't the first time this has happened and most likely won't be the last.  I was thrown into the fire like no other time I have easily seen.

If you would have told me that what I was going through was good, I would have most likely slapped ya up-side the head.  I would not have believed you.  I would not have listened to you at that moment.

It just kept howling at me...

Yet, as I think back and see all the stuff that was piling on, I'm beginning to see just why it did what it did.  One event would have been an annoyance, but event after event after experience piled on like snow drifting in a snowstorm.  It didn't stop!  It just kept howling at me at every turn.

At one point, I was ready to give up.  In fact, after one experience, I cried so hard that I could barely stop.  The pain hurt deeply.  The wound that was inflicted cut all the way through me.  I took off for the mountains to get away and find a break from it all.

I had felt so abandoned and alone, hurt and abused, and wondering where in the heck my life was going.  The mountains and the trees were my only refuge at that point.  I took off, wondering if I would even want to come back.  I took off, not caring if I really stayed alive another day.  The pain was so great, I could barely handle it.  I was thrown into the fire.

I could barely function...

As the fire raged on in my life, there was one thing after another.  It didn't stop and there were physical issues that showed up from being so exhausted where I could barely function in a day, to having to deal with a horrible rash in one of the worst places it could end up.

It felt like my life was falling apart.  It felt like there was no tomorrow. I could not get a handle on anything.  I could not get a break.  It just kept going, one experience and event after another.  I tried to hang on, but even that was exhausting.

I finally started thinking - OK - life, just have your way.  I can't control this anyway, so you might as well do whatever it is you're going to do.  I started working on surrendering to the horrible part of being thrown into the fire, even though that was far more difficult than it is to write these words.

I had no clue how to proceed...

I tried to focus as I was being thrown into the fire, but that was more difficult than breathing.  My mind was anywhere but on how to proceed.  I had no clue how to proceed or deal with any of this that was happening.

As the days went, I began to piece things together.  I began to see things a little more clearly each day.  No, it was not like everything came into view all at once.  If I sat here and said that I see the whole picture at this moment, I would be lying.  Each day, a little more shows up.  Each day I see just a little more.

The one thing that I notice is my life is changing.  I'm beginning to drop some of the long held anger in my life.  Granted, from being abused and tortured, I have a right to be as angry as I am.  It is hard to let go of that anger.  It is more than just thinking I am letting go or saying the words "I am letting go".  Maybe that works for some, but this is the cellular level of consciousness that I'm working through.

It was burning up the stuff deep inside...

The fire is all the events that were happening.  The one event after another that was consuming me.  While I thought it was consuming me (the person), I realize now that it was burning up so much of this stuff deep within me that I struggled to release and get rid of in my life.

If you burn wet and soft wood in a fireplace, the soot will build up.  If it builds up, the chimney needs to be cleaned.  You can do this a number of ways, but if you light a hot fire or a brief one in the chimney, it goes a long ways to cleaning the soot out.  (This is merely an example, not something you should try at home).

Sometimes in our life, the only way to get rid of the soot in the chimney is to burn it out.  When we are in the fire, it is then that we are attempting to get rid of that which is not helping us.  We may not see it in the moment.  It may feel like an overwhelming experience that you cannot even begin to understand this point I'm writing about.  Hey, that's okay.  I understand because I have walked through these hot stones.

The more I began to find peace...

The more I allowed the stuff that had caused me great pain to be consumed by the fire I was in, the more I began to find peace.  If I tried to hold on to the pain of those moments, I continued to stoke the fire.  No, it was not easy.  It was much more difficult than I'm writing.

I had to be patient with myself and let go of all that stuff that happened.  It was a collection of many experiences and triggers in life from years gone by, showing up as every day moments.  These were traces of things that I had worked on, but by them coming at me all at once, it ignited the fire in the furnace so much, that it ended up consuming them.

Now they are nothing more than ashes in my life that I can sweep out and make room for things that are much better and more beneficial for me.  I'm sure, there are other things that I will find as I go deeper into my own consciousness, but I know that the fire helped me.  It helped me let go of things that I've struggled with every day.

Life isn't perfect, but I can see some of those issues drastically better than they were.  I can feel like I'm more in control of them than I was and that helps boost my peace and self confidence to take on bigger tasks ahead.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I keep going

I don't know how I do it.  Some days it is tougher than others.  At some points in life, I've said - what the heck - why do this any longer?  Yet, I keep going.

Its probably a good thing that I keep going, but you know sometimes its so hard to keep going.  We all know that to some extent I think.  We all have had to deal with plenty in our life and maybe some of us had an extra helping of it.

Its when the physical pain and discomfort get so great that it is all I can do to hold on.  There are things that I won't share with others because they are far too personal, but when they cause physical issues, it gets much tougher in life.

I keep going somehow.  I don't know how.  It feels like it is often a lonely path and yet, somehow and in some small way, I manage to keep going.  I often wonder if I'm using up my free passes of to keep going, but so far, I still have some left.

Even when I feel ignored...

Even when people I know seem to shun me or avoid me or ignore me, I keep going.  Don't ask me how I do because I feel like an outcast when that happens.  I feel like it is more than I can bear.  I feel like in those moments, that I'm all alone.  Most likely I'm not alone, but it feels that way.

I keep going, even through the heartache and rejection and fear and triggers from the past.  No, none of them are easy.  Sometimes they lessen in intensity and at other times they come at me full force as if there is no tomorrow.

Even when everything sucks...

I keep going even when everything seems to crumble away.  I keep going even when everything seems to suck.  If I knew the magic formula, I'd share it and become a millionaire, but I have no idea what keeps me going.

If your life seems pointless and it feels like you're all alone, just keep going.  No, I'm not going to promise pretty rainbows tomorrow, but what's the alternative - to stop and miss out on something greater than we can see right now?

If your life feels like it is too much too bear, take a moment and just sit down on the rock.  Its okay.  You can get up when you feel like it regardless of what the world around you dictates that you should do.

All I know is, I don't have all the answers for my own life and most likely not for everyone else.  I just keep going and I do that by keeping going.  Yes, it wears me down at times, but I know no other thing than to keep going.  In some ways, its the only punishment that I have to give to those that made my life a living hell.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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