Sometimes Life Doesn't Make Sense

Written By Don Shetterly

At times, I wonder why things happen. I've wondered that for my entire life.  I see events unfolding, and none of them make sense to me.  I am often left with unanswered questions and feelings of bewilderment and confusion.


Some people say you should believe in this thing or that thing.  Some will tell you to practice some new age thought system or meditate or try this experience or that.  Far too many times, while this may be a result of someone feeling inadequate to help you, one size does not fit all.  I'm not saying these things do not help or work, but sometimes it feels as if it is not enough.  Sometimes life doesn't make sense.

I didn't give up...

I've gone through those moments where I didn't think I could stand up, let alone walk another step.  Sometimes physically I could not walk.  Sometimes in trying to walk, I fell or struggled to find my balance.  No matter what, I didn't give up.

There are times I have had to learn to accept the moment for what it is, not having a clue as to why I'm experiencing it.  There are times when I've just had to completely let go and allow whatever was going to take place to happen.  No matter what, there are times when we have no control over what happens, and that is just the way it is.  We wait for the moment to pass so we can regain control.

When I was a kid, I begged and screamed out for someone to help me, but no one heard my cries.  I wanted those that abused and tortured me and my animals to hurt for what they did.  I wanted them struck down.  My voice went unheard.  My thoughts were lost in the echoes of silence.

The only thing I have ever known is to keep going when life doesn't make sense.  It isn't easy.  It takes every ounce of strength you have and then some.  Moments in life that don't make sense can push you beyond what you think is capable.

I have learned that if I can focus on how far I have come and what I've already traveled through, then I can make it through much more than I may see at this moment.  If I found the strength, courage, and determination previously, then I can summon it now.

We are often much stronger than we give ourselves credit for in times of difficult circumstances.  Even if we see ourselves as weak and we don't feel like we can make it, rest assured that you hold much more inside you than you realize at this moment.

Grab hold of that strength and hang on to it until things pass and your life calms down to the point of greater ease and peace.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Turning Over Stones In Life

Written By Don Shetterly

Back in the early days when I found out I had Conversion Disorder, I was struggling and fighting for my life.  I was struggling not only to survive but to figure out how to function.

The paralysis started to get better, but my legs and body were weak.  My memory had gone, so remembering anything required me to write it down on a piece of paper, or it was like I was not even aware of it.  Anxiety attacks had become my best friend.  Depression and suicide were my goals.

I had no hope that anything would get better.  I wasn't sure how it would.  I was stuck in the pain and fear of a cycle that had been playing out for many years.  The only thing is I was a participant in all that was going on in my life.

When I read the limited stuff I could find about Conversion Disorder, I saw that it will probably ease and subside.  However, the chances of it showing up again were pretty high, and subsequent attacks were more the norm.  That was what the literature showed in some study that I have misplaced now.

It was pure torture every day...

In my mind, I wanted to give up and die.  The daily struggle was difficult.  I had a family turn against me.  I was fighting to re-enter life again and function in a job so I could exist.  There was nothing fun about my life at that moment.  It was pure torture every day.

I was not prepared to accept what the medical establishment would say was the outcome and prognosis of my future days.  I was not prepared to accept that I would struggle daily with anxiety attacks, depression, and suicide attempts.  I was not prepared to stay on medication forever and ever.

Yet, I had no idea how to get out of this.  I knew of no way to go from where I was at that moment to where my mind thought was possible.  I felt like giving up.  I felt like the struggle was just too much.

Something kept me going...

Something inside kept me from giving up.  Something kept me going.  Something deep inside of me kept telling me it was possible to heal and make it.

I started to look at what others were doing and looked for the moments within them that helped them.  Yes, there is plenty that people do which is not helpful, but I tried to see beyond that moment.  I tried to find the reality and authenticity of what was helping to make them better.

I started to turn over every stone in my path and find anything that helped.  I turned over many stones.  Not all of the stones were helpful to me, and sometimes it exhausted me.  Every now and then I would come across one stone that really helped me, and I would study it, learn from it and embrace it.  The stones that didn't help, I would try to push to the side of the path where others had placed similar stones.

Sometimes I needed a rest...

Sometimes I would find a resting place along my path and sit down for awhile, since I had no more energy to go on and I had no more will to fight.  It was those moments, I learned, that were necessary for me to continue.

Even through the most difficult and darkest of moments, something deep inside kept me going.  Often it was a small little pilot light that burned, but somehow I knew it was there.  I knew there was a spark within me waiting to ignite and propel me forward.

I never accepted any condition by any doctor as being the sole source of my health and well-being.  I knew there was more and I was not about to let anyone tell me that the condition I was in was the way things would be.  I fought tooth and nail most days, but I knew that I had to keep going.

I had to keep searching, for the alternative to continuing my journey was a life that was more frightening than I realized.  My evidence was Conversion Disorder, and I was not about to go back to those moments where my life almost ended.

I pass on to those who struggle to not give up where you are in the journey.  I realize the fight is hard.  I realize it is exhausting.  I realize it is easy to give up.

Don't give up!

Don't stop!

Turn over every stone you find in your path until you find one that propels you forward and then ride it for as long as you can.  Let it help you find the next stone to turn over and take you forward in your life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Keep Going!

No matter what you face in your day, remember that tomorrow will be another opportunity.  I know that sounds like a cliche' but it is true.  Sometimes when the storms of your day get far too intense, don't give up.  Keep going.

I've been through far too many things in my life and believe me, at times, I struggled to keep going.  It took all my strength to not give up.  I'm sure you've had those moments and I'm not alone in this.

Here is what I wrote in an attempt to help.  Keep in mind, that sometimes no matter what someone says or what you read, words are never always enough.  Sometimes, moments in life just suck.  Keep going - no matter what!

Keep going when all else seems like it is too hard to deal with in a day.  When your troubles before you feel like they are bigger than you can comprehend, don't give up.  Keep going!

Keep going when it feels like the earth is falling away from you and you're flying without a rope.  When moments come by as if there is nothing you can do, don't give up. Keeping going!

Keep going when the memories from your past haunt you and attempt to encompass your every move.  Don't give in.  Don't give up the fight.  Take them right back from whatever is trying to steal your life's essence.  Tell them to get lost.  Tell them you are taking back your life.

Keep going when it feels like there are no answers.  When you keep asking the question of "why" and you find no answers, don't give up.  Keep turning over the rocks until you find the one that fits in place.  It may be a long road, but the right answer will show up when you're least expecting it.

Keep going when the pains in life are too much to bear.  When the pain becomes so intense that you just want to scream and yet it feels like the screams do very little.  The pain may be strong, but it too will pass and you will find calmer waters ahead.

Keep going when you feel weary and bruised to the bone.  When it feels like you will not be able to rise to see another day, don't give up.  Don't give up!  Keep going because there is a good chance, that what you so badly need is right there ready to make its acquaintance.

Keep going because with all things in life, there is a season.   In all things, whatever we are facing will fade away.  This too shall pass.

Even though it feels like there is no end in sight, I will promise you that if you keep going, you will find your way through this in whatever form that you need to take.  If you give up, you will miss out on this most important morsel of life that is waiting to be discovered, created, and one with your life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I keep going

I don't know how I do it.  Some days it is tougher than others.  At some points in life, I've said - what the heck - why do this any longer?  Yet, I keep going.

Its probably a good thing that I keep going, but you know sometimes its so hard to keep going.  We all know that to some extent I think.  We all have had to deal with plenty in our life and maybe some of us had an extra helping of it.

Its when the physical pain and discomfort get so great that it is all I can do to hold on.  There are things that I won't share with others because they are far too personal, but when they cause physical issues, it gets much tougher in life.

I keep going somehow.  I don't know how.  It feels like it is often a lonely path and yet, somehow and in some small way, I manage to keep going.  I often wonder if I'm using up my free passes of to keep going, but so far, I still have some left.

Even when I feel ignored...

Even when people I know seem to shun me or avoid me or ignore me, I keep going.  Don't ask me how I do because I feel like an outcast when that happens.  I feel like it is more than I can bear.  I feel like in those moments, that I'm all alone.  Most likely I'm not alone, but it feels that way.

I keep going, even through the heartache and rejection and fear and triggers from the past.  No, none of them are easy.  Sometimes they lessen in intensity and at other times they come at me full force as if there is no tomorrow.

Even when everything sucks...

I keep going even when everything seems to crumble away.  I keep going even when everything seems to suck.  If I knew the magic formula, I'd share it and become a millionaire, but I have no idea what keeps me going.

If your life seems pointless and it feels like you're all alone, just keep going.  No, I'm not going to promise pretty rainbows tomorrow, but what's the alternative - to stop and miss out on something greater than we can see right now?

If your life feels like it is too much too bear, take a moment and just sit down on the rock.  Its okay.  You can get up when you feel like it regardless of what the world around you dictates that you should do.

All I know is, I don't have all the answers for my own life and most likely not for everyone else.  I just keep going and I do that by keeping going.  Yes, it wears me down at times, but I know no other thing than to keep going.  In some ways, its the only punishment that I have to give to those that made my life a living hell.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I Never Gave Up

No matter how difficult it got, I kept going.  As much as I had been through, I think I had every right to not keep going.  Somehow I always managed.  Somehow, I never gave up.

Even in the midst of trying circumstances when life seemed hopeless.  Even when it felt like I had no ounce of energy to keep going.  In times that my mind said, enough is enough you fool!  I never gave up.

When my legs would not function and my body was shaking uncontrollably from pseudo seizures of conversion disorder, I never gave up.  When it felt like I would never walk again, remember anything again, or function normally, somehow I never gave up.

Even in times where I feel all alone and it seems like the world is against me.  Even in times where I don't understand what lies ahead or why I struggle so much at times, I keep going.

I don't understand how I never give up.  Sometimes the demons I face, the nightmares that play in my mind and the memories that keep me awake make it almost impossible to keep going.

Somehow and for some reason I keep going.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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