Rolling In The Mud Pit

Written By Don Shetterly

I know, it feels like you have to engage with others slinging the mud.  In all reality, you don't have to join in the mud pit.  For those people who are sensitive and care deeply, it feels like you have to fight back and stand up for what happens online.

Now, before you get me wrong, let me explain.  I am not talking about turning a blind eye to anything, especially abuse and people who are a bully.  It is my opinion that if you engage them and as a result, they engage you, you are rolling around in the mud pit with them.  If two people roll in the mud together, you can't tell them apart.

It is like someone that calls names on the playground.  If you call them names back, are you any different?  In my view, one becomes the same as the name caller.  If one bullies another and you do the same back, are you any different.  I would suggest that we are not.

In fact, with everyone screaming at one another or the ones they deem as being horrible and disgusting and abusive, the screaming is only rolling around in the mudpit with them.  It serves little purpose.  They are not going to listen.  They don't care about anyone's viewpoint but their own.

I grew up in a house like this where whatever was said by my Dad or older brother mattered.  Even if they were flat out wrong, they would still argue with me.  Here are two instances that are minor but show what I am referring to in this post.

One time my sheep needed some medication and I knew it.  I always read up on the latest techniques for caring for my sheep.  My neighbor which also had sheep worked with me to help me learn how to properly care for them.  Because I said to my dad that we needed to give this medication, he fought me.  In his eyes, I didn't know anything.  It took me getting my neighbor to come over and convince him that we needed to do this.  No matter what I said or did, my dad would not listen.  He was flat out wrong, but it was his way or no way.

Another time when I was a kid, my older brother tried to convince me that we needed to somehow buy a riding lawnmower.  I was much younger than him, but understood far more.  He argued with me that if we bought the lawnmower on payments, we only had to pay for it during the summer.  As a small kid, I knew this was not how things worked.  He argued until I just walked away and got my parents to convince him that he was wrong.  He was not going to allow for the fact that maybe he didn't understand things.  He was convinced he was right.

While these examples are minor, it is the same basic thing we are doing online and in family and friend circles today.  We just scream at one another.  We don't listen and we don't even hear the other side.  Everyone is an enemy that doesn't know anything.  While others may be flat out wrong, they might have valid points and if we don't attempt to see those, we're rolling around in the mud pit.

The human ego loves to be right.  It wants to be heard above anyone else.  It wants to know that it is in control.  The heart is shoved aside as if it doesn't matter even though it begs for everyone to engage it over the ego.

In this day, we're spending more time in the mud pit screaming with one another and it is almost impossible to tell each other apart.  We think we're adding something to the day, but we're adding to the problems.  The egotistical people who think all others are the enemy are not going to listen to reason.  Their ego will not allow them.  To engage with them in this way, will only exasperate the situation.  In fact, if you ignore their rants, it would drive them crazy and insane.  The only thing is the human ego is not wired to do that.

If you're very sensitive like I am and have been abused in the past, this behavior drives you crazy.  I struggle with it.  I weep for it.  This world is being cranked up into a danger zone and if we don't reverse this quickly, our collective health is going to suffer in ways that we cannot even see.

We can all do our part to not engage with the abusive bullies of our day.  We can work to help further civilization and humanity, or we can just get down in the mudpit with everyone else.

I no longer watch the news.  I do read some headlines, but the news is toxic and this goes for just about any side of it.  We've lost sight of this so much that we can no longer tell the difference.  It feels like we cannot survive without this toxic news we gulp down every day.

Making the world a better place isn't about what everyone else does.  It is what we do as individuals.  Collectively our attitudes and responses make up civilization.  If we do that which we despise, we're no better than those we deem as adversaries.

Let us get our own life in order and let that shine for the world to see.  No, it may not drown out the screaming voices in the mud pit, but I believe there are enough of us that together will be much louder in the end by not engaging.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/29/17 by Don Shetterly

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Turning Over Stones In Life

Written By Don Shetterly

Back in the early days when I found out I had Conversion Disorder, I was struggling and fighting for my life.  I was struggling not only to survive but to figure out how to function.

The paralysis started to get better, but my legs and body were weak.  My memory had gone, so remembering anything required me to write it down on a piece of paper, or it was like I was not even aware of it.  Anxiety attacks had become my best friend.  Depression and suicide were my goals.

I had no hope that anything would get better.  I wasn't sure how it would.  I was stuck in the pain and fear of a cycle that had been playing out for many years.  The only thing is I was a participant in all that was going on in my life.

When I read the limited stuff I could find about Conversion Disorder, I saw that it will probably ease and subside.  However, the chances of it showing up again were pretty high, and subsequent attacks were more the norm.  That was what the literature showed in some study that I have misplaced now.

It was pure torture every day...

In my mind, I wanted to give up and die.  The daily struggle was difficult.  I had a family turn against me.  I was fighting to re-enter life again and function in a job so I could exist.  There was nothing fun about my life at that moment.  It was pure torture every day.

I was not prepared to accept what the medical establishment would say was the outcome and prognosis of my future days.  I was not prepared to accept that I would struggle daily with anxiety attacks, depression, and suicide attempts.  I was not prepared to stay on medication forever and ever.

Yet, I had no idea how to get out of this.  I knew of no way to go from where I was at that moment to where my mind thought was possible.  I felt like giving up.  I felt like the struggle was just too much.

Something kept me going...

Something inside kept me from giving up.  Something kept me going.  Something deep inside of me kept telling me it was possible to heal and make it.

I started to look at what others were doing and looked for the moments within them that helped them.  Yes, there is plenty that people do which is not helpful, but I tried to see beyond that moment.  I tried to find the reality and authenticity of what was helping to make them better.

I started to turn over every stone in my path and find anything that helped.  I turned over many stones.  Not all of the stones were helpful to me, and sometimes it exhausted me.  Every now and then I would come across one stone that really helped me, and I would study it, learn from it and embrace it.  The stones that didn't help, I would try to push to the side of the path where others had placed similar stones.

Sometimes I needed a rest...

Sometimes I would find a resting place along my path and sit down for awhile, since I had no more energy to go on and I had no more will to fight.  It was those moments, I learned, that were necessary for me to continue.

Even through the most difficult and darkest of moments, something deep inside kept me going.  Often it was a small little pilot light that burned, but somehow I knew it was there.  I knew there was a spark within me waiting to ignite and propel me forward.

I never accepted any condition by any doctor as being the sole source of my health and well-being.  I knew there was more and I was not about to let anyone tell me that the condition I was in was the way things would be.  I fought tooth and nail most days, but I knew that I had to keep going.

I had to keep searching, for the alternative to continuing my journey was a life that was more frightening than I realized.  My evidence was Conversion Disorder, and I was not about to go back to those moments where my life almost ended.

I pass on to those who struggle to not give up where you are in the journey.  I realize the fight is hard.  I realize it is exhausting.  I realize it is easy to give up.

Don't give up!

Don't stop!

Turn over every stone you find in your path until you find one that propels you forward and then ride it for as long as you can.  Let it help you find the next stone to turn over and take you forward in your life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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How Do You Impact The World?

What can we do today that impacts the world in a positive way?  I don't mean, how can we tear each other apart.  I don't mean, how can we judge one another.

I really want to encourage everyone to consider ways that they can positively impact the world around them.  I believe that one person does and can make a difference.

These days, there is far too much fighting and screaming at one another.  These days, there is far too much horror and hatred being inflicted upon one another.

It isn't all the other guys that do it.  It isn't just those that disagree with us that rip and shred the fabric of society apart day by day.

It is in the comments we leave on websites tearing down those that dare to disagree with us.  It is in the political rallies where we punch and scream and shout at one another as if we are somehow better than the other.

It is in the posts we share on Facebook and Twitter and throughout the social media land. It is how we address one another or scowl at one another.  It is how we treat others with respect or disrespect.

There are many ways that we impact the world and if we search deep within us, we will know the truth of what we put out into the world.  It is up to each one of us to do some soul searching because the world needs us to come together as one, not pit one against the other.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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