Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Child Abuse Is Not A Sexual Relationship

Today I read a story and I'm not sure if it is the poor writing and reporting, or this statement is actually what was said.  There are still some very archaic conclusions about child abuse.  We have made much progress in this area, but once again, I want to state that child abuse is not a sexual relationship.

In the article, Dad Beats Man Accused Of Molesting His Son, the following statement is what concerns me.

According to the report, the alleged abuse was happening for about three years. Frolander admitted the sexual relationship and said "I'm guilty," according to the report.

I'm not sure if the reporter failed to do their job fully or if this is from an actual statement made by the accused molester or if the reporter just doesn't understand the full implications of what they wrote.  Regardless, this type of attitude hurts those that have been abused.  It may seem insignificant, but it is not.

Child abuse is not about a sexual relationship.  There is no sexual relationship with child abuse.  Especially for a little boy that was 9 years old when it started, to say it is a sexual relationship shows much ignorance.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

One More Moment With My Mom

This week I was once again face to face with a part of life that is something most, if not all, wish to avoid.  We treat it as that long lost forgotten part that we'd just like to leave hiding in the closet.  I'm referring to life and death that we all face.

Sure, when we were young, we didn't give much thought to our death.  We were born and we had our entire life before us.  However, the older I get and I hate the thought of getting old, I realize that my life is essentially half over.  It raises many questions from have I done enough and am I doing all that I need to do. It reminds me to ask myself the question of what really matters.

So much of what we do in a day and so much of what evokes our strongest reactions isn't necessarily what matters.  In our final moments, many of these things will be long forgotten and hardly a blip on our radar.

Its been said time and time again to take each moment and cherish it and honor it because at any time, it could be our last.  As I witnessed a funeral today, I was once again reminded of that fact.  Some of us may know that our moments are numbered and were quickly running out of them, but many don't have a clue when their will be no more balance in our life bank.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Sucker Punches Of Life

Some days are easier than others.  Some days are not. 

Some days I can fly into the sky and others, I crawl into my cave.

Its just a matter of where I'm at and how many times I get sucker punched in life.  Its things that I can't talk about in public, but yet in private they are endless.

I so wish that I could wave the magic wand, think the happy thoughts, and act as if everything is okay in life.  I so wish that it was just that easy, but I know firsthand, sometimes it is a struggle.

Maybe this doesn't mean much to most and maybe it appears all negative, but I just need to write these words.  I need to know that I'm still alive and functioning amidst the sucker punches of life.

I know I will get through these moments just like all the other, but I also realize that in this one particular moment, it feels like all is doomed.  I know that is not the case, but sometimes to convince myself of these truths, I become the hysterical laughing person.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Not Enough Judgement?

If we stop to consider our world, are we really a part of moving it forward, or are we part of the problem?  Is there not enough judgement in the world that we don't need to add to it ourselves?  These are many questions that I wish we would all ask ourselves each day.

Each and every day I open Facebook, Twitter, or my email, I'm inundated with thoughts, sayings, pictures and written beliefs that portray so much hatred.  From the religious to the spiritual new age, from the political folks to the feel good ones, there is just far too much judgement.  Whether it is through perfectly cloaked words or just outright disdain for everyone who does not believe the way they do, it hurts the entire civilization of our planet.

If you find yourself reading this and thinking, I don't judge anyone - its all the other people that do it, please let me say one thing to you directly - STOP IT!  You just judged someone else.  That's part of the problem.  Judging others makes you no better than what those are doing that you hate so much.  Its often so sneaky and sly that we don't even notice it and we surely think we don't harbor it.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Social Anxiety Is Real

This morning on my twitter feed, I saw a post from Fank Fine.   He is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Orlando, New York and Winter Park.  His tweet caught my attention because it is something I have had to deal with.  Social Anxiety affects a lot of people and I am one of those.

And truthfully the fear of doing something is most always greater than the actual doing of it. Do you know anyone with Social Anxiety? - @frankfine

At one time, I could barely walk into any store for 5 minutes because of Social Anxiety.  It didn't matter if the store was crowded or not.  By the time I reached the door, I would be having difficulty breathing, my body temperature would elevate, and my fear level of others went through the roof.  By the time I got inside, all of these things were doing their damnedest to completely control very biological function in my body.

Social Anxiety is real!  People aren't making this up.  People aren't just striving for attention.  It happens and it happens to a lot of people.  Sometimes it isn't as severe as what I've gone through, but often times it is.  Sometimes it is more minor, but if you experience it, I'm just preaching to the choir.