Dealing With Regret

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and we hold ourselves back.  It is easy to allow our lives to be consumed by regret, but we are doing this at our expense.  Regret not only takes us from a point of evaluating our previous days, but if we aren't careful, it can paralyze our future days.

Like most other people in life, I'm sure I am not the only one that has had moments of regret.  There have been actions that I took which led me into things I would have not wished upon anyone.  There are moments of shame that I wish I could have stepped out of and not had to live with it as many years as I did.  There have been decisions that I have made which I wished I could have went back and changed.

Regret though can be a killer.  Sometimes regret has hog-tied me to the point of keeping me from moving forward.  Regret loves fear and it often walks hand in hand with it.

I'm sure if I asked you what one thing you had regret for in life, it would not be difficult to name.  However, if I asked how you began to let regret go and began dealing with it, the answer would be much harder to state.  Unfortunately too many of us continue to harbor regret for most of our life.  We don't let go of it because of the shame and fear associated with it.

Love Is Uncertain And Risky

Love is uncertain. It’s incredibly risky. And loving someone leaves us emotionally exposed. Yes, it’s scary and yes, we’re open to being hurt, but can you imagine your life without loving or being loved? - Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (Pg 34)

What The World Eats

We all think we have it bad sometimes (and some of us do), and we often think we are the most healthy eaters in the world.  Yet, when you look at things from a bigger picture, you'll learn some interesting facts that may make you a little uncomfortable. 

This article in TIME shows it in a way like no other can.  Take a look at the link to the story, What the World Eats:  A Week's Worth Of Groceries.  If this doesn't touch you in a deep way, I will be surprised.

People Only See What They Want To See

All too often we hide our heads in the sand acting as if that's all we know when in reality, we've know that isn't true.  People only see what they want to see and if they don't want to see it, it remains hidden from view.  To think that all other people do this is like thinking you can jump up and touch a cloud high in the sky.

I'm reading about how the wife of the suspected bombing terrorist was so shocked to learn that her husband was involved in this.  While I'm sure she was shocked and had no clue, it wasn't because they didn't know.  It was more likely that she just didn't want to see this.  After all, her friends are saying that the guy was not the nicest guy to be around or live with.  Again, we only see what we want to see.

In my house growing up, all kinds of abuse was taking place while most of the family didn't know it was happening to each other.  It was far easier to just go around and live like everything was so great and everyone was happy and there was nothing wrong.  It was easier to just not talk about it, mainly because of the fear of repercussion, but it didn't mean it was not going on.

Years after I was gone from this situation, I learned of another family member who went through stuff I was not aware of until they told me.  They were angry at me for not protecting them and stopping it, but I was just a kid for one and at the time, I was in college not realizing what was happening at home.  In my mind, I had hoped and convinced myself that it had stopped.  Boy, had I fooled myself into only seeing what I wanted to see.

Anyone Understand Conversion Disorder?

Day after day, I see searches on a subject near and dear to my heart that proves too many talking voices on the internet is not a good thing.  So many write the same thing about what conversion disorder is that makes me wonder if these people are just trying to hear themselves speak.  I'm serious here that this is a disgrace to the human existence.  People either need to wake up and show that they understand this or sit down in the cheap seats and listen to those that do.

If you are offended by what I write, I do not apologize for this.  If you are offended by that, again I do not apologize for this.  There are so many people reaching out for help and wondering does anyone understand conversion disorder.  What do they get in return?  A bunch of repeated and regurgitated gobbledygook that says nothing, does nothing and shoves them deeper into a world of confusion and despair.  Shame on all those that propagate this on in the name of hearing themselves speak.  If you are one of them, shame on you!

Conversion disorder is a serious condition and when someone is in this, it is hard enough to get an accurate diagnosis, let alone be told that diagnosis.  When you suffer from this, your entire world falls apart and you learn that there is not one thing you can trust in the world.  You cannot trust others to stand by your side that have been with you all your life and you cannot trust your body that it will function from one moment to the next.  Your life becomes a living hell of helplessness and uncertainty.

Each day that you live in this fog of despair and you wonder if you will make it, no one understands you and the medical establishment often fails miserably because of their own inadequacies.  Each day you live in this horror and torment, you wonder if the next minute will hold something you will not be able to deal with in your day, or will it be something that you can not guess what it might be from minute to minute.  The symptoms change, and the exhaustion comes as a friend but yet, no one seems to have answers.