Friday, March 27, 2015

Stress Level Max

I feel like I've been under assault lately.  Constantly not being able to get away from everything.  Some days I want to throw my phone as far as I can throw it and never turn on my computer again.  My stress level is maxed out.  I'm not sure how I'm still standing.

It seems like I don't even have time to keep up with friends or do the things I enjoy doing like my music, painting, and being in nature.  If I could do those things in my sleep, maybe I could still do them.  It feels overwhelming.  It feels like "how much more can I take" kind of situation.

Yet, I love what I'm doing, but its taking a toll on my body.  Constant headaches are showing up.  Sore and tense muscles are prevalent.  Other things that I notice are just signs of constant stress and I'm beginning to wonder, is it all worth it.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

I Love Our Cats

They are so awesome!  Life wouldn't be complete without our two cats.  Someone told us recently that cats aren't that affectionate and I'm like, you haven't met ours.  They have so much love to give that it seems like if they don't give enough love to us, it makes them nuts.

It all depends upon what you give to your pets and animals.  If you treat them with respect and love, they will mirror that back to you.  If you're psychotic and crazy and mean, they will mirror that back to you as well.  It all depends upon what you do and how you live your life in how they react to you.

We've got two cats that were rescued by Candy's Cat.  They have been precious to us from day one and they still are.  Where ever we go, they are close by.  Its almost like they take turns watching us throughout the day.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

What Is Family?

For some people, this word is a good thing.  For other people, the word family is a total nightmare.  Depending upon what someone has been through, it can mean something so dear to a person or it can be one of those things that makes a person want to scream.

For me, family is not an easy concept.  Its been a lifetime of torture for me.  I've had many people tell me that I can create my own family and while that is true, it doesn't necessarily lessen the impact of the concept on my life.  Believe me, I've spent years trying to "create a family" and trying to discard the "family" that is nothing more than torture to me.

I have not talked to most of my immediate family since 1991.  At my mom's funeral, I had limited engagement with one of my two brothers.  Yet, I wanted to avoid them and they wanted to avoid me.  I struggled with anxiety at the mere mention of the name of anyone in my family that it was almost paralyzing to me.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

If It Doesn't Work, Try Something Different

Are you like me, where sometimes I go through my days and week wondering why I'm not getting anywhere?  I'm not saying that happens all the time, but there are periods that it does.  Maybe to you, it just seems like you're beating your head against a brick wall.  Maybe you feel that everyday is just more of the same and what's the use?

I remember hearing a story about the man that walks down the street and falls in the hole.  He then gets back out and goes walking down the same street and once again falls in the hole.  He continues this day after day until one day the man walks down the street and walks around the hole.

As humans we are all like this in many ways.  We tend to walk down the street and fall in the same hole.  It may be different holes, but instead of walking around the hole, we drop right into it.  However, if we can just realize that walking around the hole saves us a lot of headaches and bruises, we'd get further in life.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Rush To Judgement

These days, there is no such thing as innocent until proven guilty.  In our current form of news dissemination, we all rush to judgement before we know the facts.  It doesn't matter what story is reported, everyone seems to be an armchair quarterback on every news event of the day.  If everyone was as smart as they purported to be about world events and happenings all across our land, I think we would have the mental capacity to solve every problem known to man.  Okay, maybe I'm being a little too over the top by saying "everyone".

Am I cynical about all of this?  Yes, I will be upfront and tell you that I am.  I hear people tell me that they watch different news sources and then make up their own informed opinions.  Unfortunately, no matter what news source you watch, they all have their bias and their point of view.  You aren't watching "facts".  You are watching "opinions and beliefs".