Please Don't Hang Yourself

This video that a mom did about her son who died by Suicide is very touching.  The reason she did it is so that she could help others who were hurting and in pain.  Often people who struggle suffer in silence and no one sees the pain they are experiencing.

I like the statement made in the short video, that so often those who lose out to suicide just want the pain to end.  I have felt that way in my life in those same moments.

Please know that others do care and there is help out there.  Watch my friend's video and see the resources she puts up.

I also did a webinar on Suicide a few years ago with a mom who lost her son.  Her statements helped wake me up in my own life and really shed light on what it does to the survivors.

I know that some out there think you should not discuss this side of suicide in this way, but it made all the difference for me.  Knowing what those who loved me would have to deal with brought a new perspective on suicide for me.  There's no way I could hurt them, and that is enough to kick my brain back out of the depths.

Of course, it is sad to note that the following video has not had many views.  It makes me roll my eyes a little.  Sometimes I think we say we want to help raise awareness and help others, but it becomes nothing more than words without action.  I am sorry if that offends anyone, but I don't want to see anyone die from suicide.

Suicide is a Leading Cause of Death in the United States  (source)

• According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) WISQARS Leading Causes of Death Reports, in 2016:
  • Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of nearly 45,000 people.
  • Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 54.
  • There were more than twice as many suicides (44,965) in the United States as there were homicides (19,362).

Does Pain Help Our Cells Communicate?

In the mind body connection, pain helps our cells communicate with our brain.

Has your body ever hurt and ached for what seems like no reason at all? Have you gotten up in the morning and exclaimed "my body hurts, I must have slept wrong"? Have you ever considered your job to be a pain in the neck while you are suffering through neck stiffness? While I could go on and on with examples, this hopefully helps you begin to (read more)

Dental Anxiety and Teeth Brushing

Written By Don Shetterly

I've got a feeling I'm not the only one out there struggling with this issue.  In fact, I know others that have admitted this to me.  If you've followed me for some time, you've probably seen that I struggle with dental anxiety.

Now, I'm not just talking about being a little afraid of going to the dentist.  I'm referring to full on anxiety attacks in just making an appointment.  For me to pick up the phone, that's when the anxiety at full speed.  Getting into the dentist office is nothing short of running 20 marathons in a single minute.

One of the things I truly struggle with is anytime anyone puts anything in my mouth like the dentist.  I freak out.  I freeze.  My body literally goes into such a fear response that it becomes very rigid.  I'm so frustrated with this and I put off much needed work until it got so bad I had not choice but to go in and struggle with my fears.

A dentist I've found close to me is very good about working with me.  I do use some medication to help me get in the door and I have a trusted friend with me at all times.  In fact, my friend is the one that makes the appointments and handles anything over the phone on this, because I just can't bring myself to do this part.

One of the things I've noticed in myself about dental anxiety is how difficult it is to brush my teeth.  I grew up doing this every day, but when the memories of abuse triggered me so much, it was an all out battle to get myself to brush my teeth.

Now, I have noticed that just to insert the toothbrush into my mouth is triggering beyond any words I could write here.  Of course, this compounds the problem.  I'm pushing myself to brush my teeth now, but it feels like I'm being abused and molested every time I do.

I just want people to be aware of this, especially dentists.  Some of us struggle so hard and while we try to trust the professionals, it is not easy.  As I said, it feels like I'm being abused and molested every time I go for a dentist appointment.  My dentist is great and works with me, but no matter what, I feel that trigger.  My body feels it.  My body reacts to it.

Even writing about this is difficult and I can feel the anxiety and heat rise within me.  It is not a simple trigger to me.  I'd so love to get beyond it and be able to go to the dentist office like normal people do.  I hate this part about life because it is exhausting and overwhelming.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Pain Opened My Eyes

Written By Don Shetterly

Here are my observations about my experiences right now, and I'm recording them to help myself not to forget as well as hopefully help others by sharing what I've been through.  This is not an easy experience dealing with dental pain, but I am trying to learn as much as I can as I go through it on my open.  The pain is opening my eyes.


While I know that pain will get your attention and will increase until it does, sometimes I know we (and this includes myself) numb and disconnect from it so much that it takes a baseball bat to wake us up.  I know that, and I'm sure most people do, but somehow we still numb and disconnect from the pain.

I've realized that the dental pain I'm dealing with is something I've been living with for some time now.  I've altered so many things unconsciously just to deal with the pain and numb it.  In fact, I didn't realize I had even done this.

For example, when eating, I have learned to eat on the side of my mouth to avoid the pain.  Another example is we have learned to eat things I can eat, so I didn't have to experience the pain.  I've learned to just live with it because the fear of dealing with the pain was so great that I just numbed my conscious thought to it.

That's the thing we humans do.  We numb and disconnect our conscious thought and awareness to the pain.  We do it without realizing that we do.  We do it automatically.  As much healing work as I've done on my mind and body with respect to trauma, I still do this.  It is an unconscious behavior.

Pain is there, and even if we feel some pain in our body, our unconscious behavior can minimize it or alter how we see it.  It can keep us from truly seeing all aspects of it.  More importantly, it prevents us from seeing beyond it and framing our mindset and perspective about the bigger picture in life in a way that opens up to possibility not restricts us from being more than we are.

As I write this, I feel like

• Pain is exhausting.
• Pain takes over my life. 
• It feels heavy.
• It prevents me from seeing things in clearness and reality.
• Often I don't completely know it is there.
• Often I disconnect from it.
• Pain increased to the point of getting my attention.
• I sometimes close my eyes to the pain.
• I numb myself to the pain without being aware of it
• I find ways to disconnect from the pain automatically.

One thing the dentist said that was like a big ah-ha moment for me was that "I deserved to live a life without this pain." While that may be one of those statements that sound so simple, it was anything but that to me.  I sometimes see the wounded part of my life that doesn't deserve to live a life differently than the trauma and abuse that was done to me.

I record these things as part of my own processing of the events that are unfolding.  It is my way of making sense of all that is happening in my life at this moment.

As I go through this process and learn more about my life, I realize that all this time I've been trying to numb and disconnect from it, that it was taking far more energy than if I would have just got it treated.

Yes, I know it is easier to write those words than to put them into practice, but I can't help but think, "I should have taken care of this a couple of years ago because it might not have been as bad."  Hopefully I've learned from this and my intent is to not let myself forget the ways that pain has opened my eyes.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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When Pain Gets Your Attention

Written By Don Shetterly

Sometimes,  I don't always listen or heed what I write sometimes.  I'm no different than anyone else after all.  I'm merely human too.  Yes, I'm admitting it.  Yes, we humans don't always practice fully what we preach, but it doesn't stop any of us from preaching it!

For some time now I've been having extreme pain in my teeth.  In fact, I had gotten to the point where I didn't really notice most of it.  That is until it got so bad.  We can go for a time ignoring and numbing pain in our life, but when it gets too bad, that is when the pain gets your attention.

It Is A Paralyzing Fear...

I have written about my dental anxiety and fear many times on this blog.  Regardless, each time I go into a dentist office or attempt to make an appointment, it is the same intense fear that I encounter.  It is a paralyzing fear.  It is the point where I convince myself that I can put this off.  When the pain finally gets my attention, I realize I cannot ignore it any longer.

For some time, I've used some homeopathy remedies to help, and while they helped, they didn't solve the issue.  I needed to go get things taken care of, but I used the remedies to further disconnect myself from it and let the fear win.  I still remember the nasty dude on social media that instead of being helpful, he came at me with a vengeance because of how I was dealing with the teeth issues.  I still marvel at how people who think they have the answers will bash someone in the head if they don't agree.  That's another story for another time.

Pain Over Powered The Anxiety...

Anyway, when the pain got so intense, it over powered the fear and anxiety I had.  There was no going back.  There was no second guessing it.  The pain was far more intense and challenging than the anxiety, and that's a big statement!

Fortunately, I've found a dentist that cares and is kind and gentle.  I explained that my difficulty is because of the torture and child sexual abuse I went through as a kid.  Making an appointment to see the dentist invokes intense anxiety in me.  Walking in the door is monumental.  Getting an x-ray feels like I'm being tortured and abused leaving me in a state of panic where I can hardly breathe.

I know a ton of stuff about relaxation and staying connected.  I know and practice many things including breathing, but there is nothing that prepares me for dental experiences.  I hate taking medications of any type, but in this case, I will take the happy little pill that takes the edge off of the anxiety and fear.  It is the only way I can get in the door for dental procedures.

With the intense pain that was getting my attention, I saw just how physically exhausting it is.  It almost consumes and takes over my body at times.  It alters how I view myself and the world around me.  Sometimes though, it feels like this is normal to my body and even with all the work I've been through, at times I forget it isn't.

The dentist told me before I left her office that I deserve to be pain-free.  You know, I had not thought about that until that moment.  I've learned to live with the pain of being tortured and abused and sometimes it is easy to forget, that I don't have to live with it.  I can choose differently.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Taking Away Their Pain

Written by Don Shetterly

Many of us who are extremely sensitive truly struggle when we see others hurting.  We want to take their pain away, but more often than not, we don't have the power to do this.  I wish I could heal and take away the pain of so many, but that's just not how life happens.


While I realize we can be there with others in their pain, there is a big difference between that and taking away their pain.  Pain is there for a reason.  I wish I understood why it is for everyone, and why it is in my own life.  I'm not that smart and I doubt very few people can truly say with one hundred percent certainty.

I see many things come through my mail promising to alleviate pain.  After all, who wants pain in their lives?  Unfortunately, most of these things are a band-aid applied to a gushing wound.  Now before you say, oh but it did take away my pain, let me explain the misconception here.

If pain and suffering are in our lives for a reason, then if someone takes it away we lose the full impact of why it was there.  If we look to others to take away our pain, we give our own personal power up to them.  If we look to outside forces to fix us and heal us, then we've neglected what our own mind and body are capable of doing.

Keep in mind that these so-called pain relief treatments, models, and remedies do not often heal the pain.  They only mask it for a short time.  I say this because if they truly healed the pain or situation in your life, then one treatment would be all you would ever need.

If someone helps you...

Instead, if someone helps you find your way from pain, then you've got the possibility of being empowered with your own mind and body to take that healing further than you ever thought was possible.  If someone helps you find the way to healing your pain, you now learn new tools that will assist you in the future.  It isn't just a one time fix.  It is like teaching someone to fish, rather than only giving them the fish.

I personally believe that pain and suffering are there in our lives to help bring us further into our own awareness of who we are.  The more we go through moments of suffering, the more we wake up and discover all that we are.  Does that make suffering easier to swallow?  Not in my view.  I still struggle with this concept even though I've come to see how true it is in my own life.

It is in understanding what that pain means to our lives and to the world, that we discover so much more about life and consciousness and all that is possible.  Without the pain, we would miss some of those things.  Without learning how to heal the pain, we would miss the lesson.

I am often reminded of the song that Garth Brooks sings, "The Dance".  The line that really stands out to me in this song is, "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance."

If our focus in helping others is just to take away their pain, then we're doing them a disservice.  Sure, we don't want to see them suffer, but we need to help them learn whatever it is that they need to learn.  We need to walk beside them and hold them and be there for them while they make the discovery.  We need to walk through the fire with them, not merely dump water on the embers.

Our greatest gift we can give someone else in helping take away their pain is that we enable them to connect not only with their mind, but with their body. That connection is where the healing forces are found.  When we lift someone up to that moment and we're there walking through the fire with them, the hope and possibility they will have for their life will be multiplied many times.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Healing Is Too Much Sometimes

Written By Don Shetterly

Many years ago, my former therapist shared something with me before the last session I had with her since I was moving.  She told me that many people just don't go far enough in therapy.  They stop after a few sessions and feel that is enough when in reality they need to go further.

I have seen this time and time again with myself and others, not only people I know but clients I have had.  It is just too darn easy to quit before you get to the point that you're healing those deep layers.

I know, it isn't easy healing.  I know, it isn't easy going through pains of life and uncovering them.  It is like a festered cut on your finger as you play in the salt mines.  There is just no way that is going to feel good. It reminds me of a story from my own experiences.

For awhile, I was working at a fertilizer plant.  It was easy to cut your finger, but because of the salt content, it was much harder to get your finger to heal.  The salt just kept the wound open, and it would burn when the salt touched the exposed area of the cut on my finger.  It wasn't until I was able to protect the cut or remove myself from this situation that it could finally heal.

Healing can be the same way.  Sometimes it just hits us and feels like the festered wound of a cut soaking in salt.  The thing is, if we continue to stay in that environment where we hunker down in the salt mines, we'll just keep causing more pain in life.

The layers of healing run deep.  They took a long time to build up and they are not going to disappear overnight or over a few therapy sessions.  We may trick ourselves into believing they will, but we will only be lying to ourselves.

When we experience things in life that are anything but good, we tend to bury them deep within our body and cells.  Every year that goes by, we pour another layer of cement on them.  After a time, the cement hardens and gets so thick that it becomes difficult at best, to get to them.

Yes, we can use a jackhammer and chip the layers of cement away, but the more years we have buried it, the deeper we must go.  Sometimes we get tired.  Sometimes ask ourselves, what is the use in continuing through healing?  Sometimes we think, this is more than I want to do and so we sit down to take a rest.  Just make sure, you don't sit there for a rest for the rest of your life.

Yes, healing is not easy.  There is a positive outcome as we get rid of the layers of past experiences we have endured.  Sometimes to heal, time is required.  It takes courage and determination.

Often it takes us saying that no matter what, we are not going to give up.  We're not going to let anything stop us.  Sometimes when we are at the point of saying "this is too much," it is then that we may just likely be on the edge of a major breakthrough.  We won't know unless we keep going.

I've had those moments where I said, "this is too much" and I wanted to stop.  In fact, there were times that I did stop.  Life had a way of getting my attention and getting back to the point of seeking help that I needed.  If I had listened to the parts of me that wanted to give up, I would have missed the breakthroughs in my healing.

Life is a journey.  Life is about going in and reclaiming parts where life hurt us.  Yes, healing is too much sometimes, but the alternative is to live a life of pain and heartbreak.

The alternative is to stay stuck in that which we so desperately want to let go.  Healing is about digging through the layers and finding who we are, not what we experienced and done to us.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Asleep To Feeling Pain In Our Body

Let's all go down to the river and party the night away.  Okay, I'm not sure why I wrote that this, but maybe it is more telling then I am aware of in this moment.  If you read the blog post on June 13, 2017, Are You Asleep?, you will see that Donnie struggles with this one.

Here's a part from Donnie's statement on the blog post Are You Asleep:     After all, he doesn't have time to deal with pains in his body.  There is just too much too accomplish.   His body is 100% pain free.  Unfortunately, that's a good sign of how asleep Donnie is.

We are so oblivious to pain in our bodies that even saying we are asleep is not a strong enough statement.  Of course, I'm sure you're probably eye-rolling me right now, wondering if I just fell off my rocker and hit my head on the floor.

Safe to say, I'm okay.  I didn't hit my head on the floor.

For a long time I was traveling every week and going almost nonstop.  I hardly felt pain in my body.  There was no time to feel it and if I felt it, it had to disappear because I could not function and do what was required of me.  Pain relievers were the go-to if that happened.

However, most of the time I didn't feel pain.  In fact, that's how most of us are.  We are oblivious to pain in our bodies, even though it is there.  Yes, even if you don't notice it, it is there.

How do I know this?  Well, when I finally get myself to stop or I go in for a deep healing session with Dr. Paul Canali, the first thing I'm asked to do is feel what is going on in my body.  Of course, one thinks that we know what is going on, but until you do this - much of it is hidden.  Let me repeat that - much of it is hidden.

The more you stop and notice, the more you'll exclaim like I do in a session, "Oh, I didn't know that was there."  We are so unconscious and disconnected that most of the time the pain (and the warning signs of the mind and body) go undetected.  We just fail to hear them because we are asleep.

They keep ratcheting up the alarm, and we keep dousing them with unconsciousness and other substances in our day.   Then when the alarm has gone as far as it can, the body gets our attention.  Usually by that point, things aren't good and require much more medical intervention than we would have had to do if we'd listened to the pain in the first place.

I had someone once tell me that they were sorry to hear I had pain.  I'm like, but everyone does - they just don't listen to it.  It is messages our bodies are trying to get through our asleep thick skulls.

Pain can be good if we do something conscious with it.  If we hide it, then we've inflicted a world of hurt on ourselves.  Rather than hiding it, the better thing to do is to go in and feel the pain.  Yep, I know - you've probably thought I've fallen again from my rocking chair.  Rest assured, I have not.

If pain is overwhelming, we want it gone.  That's human nature.  However, if you can find body work like what Dr. Paul Canali does, then you learn that by going into the pain,  you take control of it and transform it.  When you do, a whole new world opens up.

Is that easy?  NO IT IS NOT!  Is it good in the long run? YES IT IS.  Being asleep so much that you don't feel the pain is not a recipe for health and wellness.  Too much in our society is built around numbing the pain, rather than going in and interacting with the pain.  Too many health conditions are a result of not feeling the pain.

It is past time our world wakes up and begins to deal with pain in the right way.  First, we have to recognize it is there and feel it.  Once we've made it that far, then we need to go in and have a conversation with it through not only the mind, but through the felt sense of the body.  When we learn to interact with it in the body, that's when pain becomes our friend, rather than our foe. 

Make sure you check out the next part in this 11 part series

 Part 11 is "Asleep By Happy Thoughts"

 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Asleep With Pain And Difficulty

While this one may sound strange, Mortimer's issues in life are more than what meets the eye.  If you read the blog post with Mortimer's example, you will see just how asleep he is.

Here is a snippet of how Mortimer isn't present, even though he thinks he is.  It is an insidious struggle that works from the inside out in our mind and body.  It is the ego in control, not consciousness.

Mortimer thinks that life is just about pain and difficulty.  He knows that the doctor knows best and so he doesn't question if there is anything different he needs to do in his life. (see the full example of Mortimer)

For some reason when it comes to our health, we tend to disengage the brain that is inside our head.  I don't know how else to say that, but we all do it.  I've done it.  I've seen many do it.  I see many do it every day.  It is human behavior.

Like Mortimer, it is where we stop.  We don't go beyond it.  We don't go into it.  We often think that this is how things work and so we just accept that as fact.  Many times we are not taught anything different than what everyone practices.

Yes, our society and family units have taught us that anything that hurts or doesn't feel good is something that has to be fixed by someone else.  We're taught that in many ways.  We are often taught it at an early age when Mommy kisses our boo boo to make it better.

There's nothing wrong with going to get help.  In fact, we often need to do that whether it is medical attention or counseling services.  Too many times, we wait until things get really bad before we seek help.

The thing is, we just stop at that step.  We fail to go in and see what is causing our issues and find a way through them.  We fail to see how we need to change things in life.  We often fail to realize the role we play in making ourselves sick.

Yes, I know that not everything is something we did it to ourselves, but there is a vast majority of issues that could be greatly enhanced if we took our own blinders off.   We often put ourselves in moments of illness and distress that we don't need to, while we stay asleep in the process.

Some of us have endured many difficult moments in our past and as a result, we're forced to deal with issues that are so overwhelming.  I get that.  I've been there.  Some days I am still there.  However, there is so much we can do to impact our health and well being that many times we just don't do.

We can choose to stay asleep or we can destroy every paradigm we have about health and healing, to find something that works better for us.  We don't have to wait for a doctor or other health person to tell us to take something to numb us.  We can engage directly and learn more about our own mind and body.

The more you learn and the more you know, the more you can interact with your own health and healing.  Things that I would have claimed were impossible a few years ago are now things that I have seen change, and have healed in my own life and that of others.  I would not have guessed it then.  I would not have believed it then.

I try to keep an open mind to ways I can interact with my own awareness and consciousness.  Learning to recognize that there are other ways to improve my health and make life more than pain and difficulty has been eye opening to me.  It has awakened me from my sleep in life.

Is it easy to do this?  Not really!  Not in my view.  Yes, I can give lip service to it.  Yes, I can talk the talk of healing, but going in and doing it requires much more connection not only to my mind, but to my body.

After the Conversion Disorder paralysis I went through, I was bound and determined to find my way through it.  I didn't accept that this was the way things were or that this is the way they would be.  I pushed aside everything I thought I knew and began to open up to what I did not know.  In the end, it saved me.  In the beginning it was a life full of difficulty and pain.

Make sure you check out the next part in this 11 part series

 Part 7 is "What We Put In Our Body"

 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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The Best Part of Dealing With Stress

This is the continuation in a series on allostatic load.  In part 4, we discussed the stress set point in the emergency danger zone.

If you haven't seen Part 4, go there first.

In Part 5, we will be discussing the best part of dealing with stress.

The best part about the process of dropping the allostatic load is that you get your life back.  You become more acquainted with who you truly are.  As you find healing, you also find peace and joy that you most likely have never experienced to that point.  You find rest for your soul and a purpose more connected with the greater good of humanity.  You end up discovering that there are more ways to keep your mind and body healthy that you never knew existed.

Of course, it is all up to the individual in how far they are willing to go and how much they want to change their life.  I am reminded of the saying that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make the horse drink.  The same holds true for healing allostatic load.  If you don't wish to change your ways and if you continue to ignore the messages of your body, you will be like the horse led to the water that won't drink.  There's not much anyone can do for you, and you will end up jumping from one procedure or medication to another with little to show for it.

The one sad part about healing this way is that I know of very few people who are equipped to do this work, and who have done the necessary work on themselves to be there for others.  There are many that pride themselves having on these skills, but when the going gets beyond difficult it matters if you truly know what you're doing or not.  I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but I can think of no better line than "healer heal thyself".

True healing in someone is not about getting rid of the pain or difficulty.  Instead, it is transforming that pain and difficulty into something that will bring about awareness and a stronger connection into the body.

Focusing only on getting rid of the pain is a form of disconnection that takes you to the edge of the cliff.  It is through feeling the connection deep within that you begin to interact and experience the body in ways you could never imagine.  It is through those connections that you begin to see a life beyond what you think is possible.  That's healing, and that results from dumping the allostatic load.

Make sure you check out the first part in this 5 part series.  

 Part 1 is "Allostatic Load With Dr. Don Bosch"

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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The Forgotten Reason in “13 Reasons Why”

(by Jody, Mental Health Matters)

I certainly am not one to jump on the bandwagon. I generally let it pass by watching the fickle people jumping on and off trying to chase and follow the latest trend, so it is almost to my surprise that I find myself writing about the latest craze of controversy, which happens to be the Netflix series called “13 Reasons Why?”

I am quite sure that you have either watched it or at the very least heard of it, as it has stirred up discussions from the water cooler to the media. I will admit that curiosity got the best of me and I binge watched the entire series just to see what had stirred up such fuss and dialogue.

There are hundreds of blogs and articles with varying opinions both praising and criticizing the show for its approach on the taboo topic of teen suicide and underlying subjects of rape and bullying. Being both passively and actively suicidal my entire life, and having lost people by suicide, has given me the ability to empathize with both the supporters and the critics.

To an extent, as a teenager, I was Hannah Baker as and I am sure thousands of others identify with her depth of pain in one way or another. I have had suicide attempts as a child, a teen and an adult, and the thought process with all of them was different due to what I could fully understand at each age.

As a child, it was impossible for me to comprehend the repercussions of “if you touch Grandma’s pills you will get sick and could die.” I had been to a funeral by age eight and although I had no idea of the permanence of the situation, I did know that dead meant no longer here, and as all the adults at the funeral had said, “at least she’s not suffering anymore”. If you put those two thought processes together at such a young age, you can get the basics of how I came about to my first suicide attempt.

As an adult, the rationale behind my attempt was a lot more clear and concise. I also fully understood the long term consequences of my decision and the affect it would have on certain people. It was not an irrational, spur of the moment thing that I would regret but a precise plan which would achieve the final goal of ending my suffering.

Being a teenager is a completely different ball game all together. With hormones bouncing around like a rubber ball and emotions running rampant, the thought process could vary from minute to minute. I noticed a lot of people commenting on how it was wrong of Hannah to lay the blame for her suicide completely on other people, and although I don’t agree that was the intent, I can see that view as well. I can also tell you that as a suicidal teenager, you do, in part lay the blame on other people, because that is generally what they do at that age anyway. In my eyes at the time, I blamed my molesters, my parents and a few other people that I felt should have somehow known and helped. Maybe it was not right to lay the blame with those who I felt caused my pain and suffering, but a teenage mind is far from fully developed, and often irrational, and right or wrong, that is how I saw things, as did Hannah.

I agree that this show could potentially be triggering for some people, and I am glad that more warnings have been added before each episode. I also know that curiosity often gets the best of human nature and regardless of the fact that we know it may trigger us, we still sat down and watched it. I know for me personally, sometimes it is almost a way of self-testing your strength, or the power you have or don’t have over your triggers. I knew ahead of time certain scenes would get under my skin but I pushed through, testing myself episode after episode, regardless of any trauma it may or may not leave on me. I don’t know if I will ever know if it was my curiosity or the self-destructive part of my illness that was the ultimate driving factor to me watching the show.

There is much controversy over the graphic showing of Hanna’s death and although I admit I did not expect it, it’s closer to reality than some glorified, peaceful death. There is no beauty in suicide. It is not clean and painless. We do not just drift off into sleep and quietly pass away. There is no possible way to glorify the depth of pain that one feels in order to take one’s own life, be it pre-planned or an irrational moment.

Here in Canada, the scene caused enough ruckuses that the school boards felt it necessary to send home warning letters to parents regarding the potentially triggering topics of the show, and actually included information on prevention and communication as well as hotline numbers. There is discussion about how the rape scene and cyber bullying is not properly addressed. There is conversation over the educational systems lack of support, and even questions about whether the tapes and suicide were a cry for attention.

People are enthralled in the discussion via one aspect or another, regardless of the criticism or praise, and that is the one thing that everyone seems to be forgetting. Regardless of how you feel about the show, you are now discussing and reading about topics which you may never have before. People complain that it shouldn’t take a TV series to get subjects like suicide, rape and bullying to the surface, but that is the world we live in. A musical artist dresses one way, and we have a generation of kids with pants beneath their asses. Lady Gaga says she has PTSD, and all of a sudden it is front page news. So, this show did the one thing that is perhaps the most important… it not only started the conversation, but brought it to a whole new level.


- Jody (Jody's Blog)

Read all of Jody's Columnist Posts

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Jody

Guest Blogger
Writer
Survivor, Warrior, Conqueror

Visit Jody's website at

Jodyb2016 Wordpress

  

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Jody

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Reminded To Play

Often, my days get very busy.  I am usually trying to accomplish so much and it is very easy for me to just forget to stop.  The funny thing is, I try to encourage people to stop in their day and sometimes I really screw it up too!

Hey, we're all human.  Living in a human body is not necessarily an easy thing or a 1-2-3 process.

Every day things change.  Every day we experience new things.  We deal with stress and joy and pain.  We deal with life and sometimes we jump up in the air to celebrate.

The only thing is when I get so busy that I forget to stop and have fun in life, it can be like a sword thrashing around in a small room.  More than likely at some point, the result is not going to be pretty.

Cats are good barometers...

I'm always amazed at my cats because they seem to know when I need to stop and play and get up from my desk.  I'm fortunate to work from home.  My cats are good barometers of things I miss sometimes in myself.

It is amazing to watch the cats because sometimes they both come up wanting attention.  If you don't give it to them, they increase their presence until you stop and pay attention to them.  If you don't give them enough, they just up the stakes and work harder to get your attention.

My cats don't really care if you're writing your masterpiece novel or replying to a tweet.  They just know, it is time for you and them to have some social interaction... and for me to stop - play - have fun!

I like that they help remind me to play.  I need that sometimes.  It is just far too easy for us to get hung up on all the tasks we do or the social media posts we have not read.

Cats (and most likely dogs too) are good barometers to help us stay connected to our self and our mind body.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Pursuing Symptoms In Healing

One thing we do in healing that is misguided is trying to heal the wrong things.  I don't mean to make it sound like a mistake, even if it is.  I mean that we focus and pursue healing symptoms more than we do in healing the entire mind, body, and spirit.

Every licensing year in the massage world here in Florida, I see the "new" modalities and classes come through.  Everyone out there is promising relief from pain, relief from this situation or that situation.  Use this electrical stimulation device and get rid of the pain.  Use this technique and alleviate the pain.  Provide pain relief with this modality.

While there's some truth and benefit to all of those things, many of them are so misguided.  Sometimes they offer a placebo effect all the time proving to you that the system works.  They get so caught up in their own paradigms of what is going on that they miss the bigger picture.

It meant painful discoveries...

Take, for instance, if I would have focused only on the symptoms of Conversion Disorder that I was experiencing, I would have not made it very far.  No, I had no clue how to heal my life, but it was in that never ending questioning that I found ways to heal.  The symptoms of paralysis, seizures and a numbed body were not where I needed to focus to heal.  I had to go to the core of those issues and yes, it meant some painful discoveries.

Another instance of when this applies is when I had a full body rash.  I could have focused on the symptoms only but little progress would have been made.  While I was trying to find anything that helped alleviate the itching of the rash, I knew that something was kicking it up.  Through deep work into the mind and body, I soon discovered what was fueling the rash.  No, it wasn't easy to go into this space of healing, but without it, I would still be fighting the symptoms.

Stress to a Physical Stressor

One time I was working with a client, doing to their office and doing weekly chair massage.  One of the ladies would often complain how torqued her back felt and how painful it was.  I would work on the symptoms while I was there and often alleviate it.  However, the next week I went back, it would be as if I had done nothing.  I soon discovered that the way she had her computer positioned on her desk was twisting her back.  When you apply the stress of the day to a physical stressor such as this, you're going to get pain.  If I would have just focused on the symptoms of pain in her back and not observing what was behind it, I would have missed the healing part.

There are times of course that you have to focus on the symptoms because you or others need relief.  We need to know that we can get out of that pain.  Sometimes, it is just a moment of "please take the pain away".  Unfortunately, if we're just treating symptoms, we're going to miss the bigger picture of healing.

I kept asking the questions...

I would have never made it out of Conversion Disorder and paralysis if I would have not kept asking the questions that I needed or searching for what could help.  I looked for ways that would physically help me and make a difference, noticing that they helped me heal to my core.

Sometimes we just get caught up in the symptoms as we so badly want them to go away, but more often than not, this does very little for us.  It numbs us.  It helps us disconnect from it, but it doesn't go to the core issue of what is causing it.

Medications and medical procedures don't always do what we think they are doing.  I knew a lady that had 52 surgeries in 48 years.  No one stopped to think about the overall big picture.  They were treating the symptoms.  When she started on healing her core mind and body, it is then that her body started to heal and surgeries and medications were no longer needed.

I know this probably sounds too easy to be true.  I know some will read it and say, "but you don't understand my condition" and "you don't know what I have to live with".  To that, I can only say, no I don't.  I just know what I've seen in my own life and that of many others and I will urge and prod you to go deeper, dig further, and work toward healing the symptoms, not necessarily treating the symptoms.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I Often Hate My Name

I know, you're not supposed to feel this way.  I realize my name is my vibrational marker in this world, but oh - what I wouldn't give to change it.  In fact, I almost did change my name but got cold feet.

You see, I was afraid of what my family and my friends would think if I changed my name.  It is probably the one thing that held me back from doing this.

Growing up, my Dad used my full name starting with my first name of Donald as a way to indicate he was pretty angry at me.  If I heard it, I cringed.

I knew what was coming and there was no escaping it.  The more you tried, the worse the punishment.  It didn't matter if you had really done nothing wrong.  It only mattered that he needed someone to blame for whatever it was he was upset about in that moment.

On top of it, my dad loved nicknames.  I was a small baby at birth and so they nicknamed me pee wee.  I can't actually believe I am even writing about any of this.  It feels shameful and humiliating to me.   Even though I had to endure this at home, I tried my hardest to not get names attached to me in school.

One day in Kindergarten I took a new plastic truck to school for show and tell.  My dad thought I needed to put my name on it even though there is no way I would have let that toy truck out of my sight.  We didn't have many toys in the first place.  The name he wrote on the bottom of it in big black letters - PEE WEE.  Talk about making your stomach turn flip-flops all day.

I also remember hearing my dad pound his fist on the table and scream,

"we're family and we will be proud of our last name. We will love one another no matter what or I will make sure we do."  

He preached the last name as if it was something great.  I cringed in these multi-hour tirades he would have where you had to sit at attention and listen to him intently or he would keep going longer. 

He was so proud of the last name and it sucked to me.  To me, it stood for sexual and physical abuse.  It stood for mental manipulation, mind control, thought control and no freedom.  It stood for anything but love and respect like he demanded that it did.  He is more than welcome to be proud of it if he wants, but it has a devastating effect on me.

There are many more things that have happened where I just hate my name.  My full first name, Donald, was used as a weapon.  It was not one of respect or love or compassion.  When I heard it used, my fear went "oh oh... what did I do wrong now?"  This was immediately followed by dread and fear and anxiety which happened almost every day it seemed.

Now at this point in my life, I made sure I had no kids.  My siblings had daughters so there is no chance they will pass our family name on.  I had no kids, so effectively it stops with me.  I cannot think of a better way to win over what my dad did to me than deprive him of passing on the name he was so proud of when I was a kid.

I don't know if I will ever get to the point I love my full legal name, but if you meet me, there's a good chance, you'll hear the first name I go by now and you would have to ask me what my last name is.  I don't readily give it out.  I don't readily use it.  I want nothing to do with the last name.  If you call me Donald, you're probably going to get ignored or get an angry response.

It is difficult to deal with this part of my life.  I know the vibration of our name means a lot, but it is a source of pain that I have to live with for the rest of my life.  I may still change it yet, but now that I've got music and books out, that may get more tricky.  I know it will follow me until the day that I die and I wish it wasn't so.  Even if I changed it, the name is still attached to me and that sucks!

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Dealing With Stress Showing Up In The Body

Note where you may have pain, discomfort or issues happening in the body.  That is the key to dealing with stress showing up in your body along with making the connection to what is happening in life.

The first thing to do when you notice some pain or discomfort is ask this simple question.  What was happening in my life just before this?  Then create a timeline of events.

You don't have to make this a difficult exercise, just go with what comes to your mind in that moment.  Usually the important facts are right on the tip of your tongue.

If you haven't read the other part to this blog post, make sure you read
Where Does Stress Show Up?

If you start to look at what is happening around the time the pain or discomfort is showing up, you might just find a key that helps you interact with your life differently.  Awareness of what is going on helps lead you to the point of making different choices.

Without that knowledge or awareness, you're missing key bits of information that could alter and change your physical reality or even your mental reality.  We can impact our lives so much and our physical bodies even though we forget that we can.

Go in and feel...

When you think you've discovered what the events were that brought on the pain, try to go in and feel that.  Take a look at it.  Is there anything you can change or alter?  Is it trying to show you something?  It it attempting to connect you with something that you need to do differently in life?

Feel and sense the pain in your body while making the connection.  See what movement or connection you can make to help let it go.  Sounds and very slow connected movements can do wonders to help alleviate stress in addition to breath work.

That's the first part and after that, it is up to you in how you proceed with the knowledge and awareness you have.  It is up to you how you find ways to work with letting that physical stress go. We can of course keep beating our head against the proverbial brick wall, but if we understand that we can interact with our own biology, than we're on the road to making positive changes in our life.

Dealing with stress showing up in our body takes us out of numbing and disconnect.  It brings us back into our body where we can interact with it in a much deeper level.  Someone once said, "Know Thyself" and through the body interaction with pain, we will truly begin to know thyself.

Unfortunately most of us go on autopilot every day of our life trying to get from one activity to the next, one job task to the next and ignoring the greater parts of our life.  If we just stop and notice at some point during our day, we could alleviate much of our suffering.  Numbing and disconnect gets us nowhere, but as humans we tend to keep repeating that which does not work.

This is not just a mental exercise of thoughts and thinking positive.  This is learning to interact with not only our thoughts, but their connection in the body.  If you stop and notice and observe, you will see them, but if you only focus on the mental aspect, you will miss half the healing that is readily available.

It is truly up to us what we allow ourselves to do and how we interact with our biology.  We make the choice.  We can choose to avoid it or we can choose to go in and take a look, thereby giving us a greater awareness of the body we inhabit.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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My First Experience With Homeopathy

Recently, I've been struggling with some very severe tooth pain.  My dentist is out recovering from surgery and I don't trust most dentists, so I've just got to wait this out.  However the pain got pretty severe and intense.

I was ready to try anything and when a friend of mine first started to help me with homeopathy solutions, I have to admit that I was skeptical.  I do try to stay open to healing remedies, but in the back of my mind, I wondered if this would work.

Going through the skepticism and motivated by the pain, I gave it a shot.  One of the columnists on this blog, Natural Healing Gal, is the one that was working to help me.  Fortunately my skepticism didn't turn her off and thankful she worked with me.

It took a few days and a few tries, but when we got the right combination, I started to really notice a big improvement.  In fact, even from the first day I could tell that the pain had been reduced.  I'm not a "pill" type of person, so finding natural healing alternatives is important.

After several days of working with this, I'm nearly pain free.  Yes, it shows up a little, but it was getting to the point where it was really affecting things that I do in a day.  I feel like I'm getting back to normal now.

I do realize I need to go see my dentist and will deal with that dental anxiety as the time approaches.  For now though, just to have relief from the pain is hopeful and a big relief.

I would not have guessed what "Natural Healing Gal" knew would help in the way that it did.  I'm glad I didn't operate out of skepticism, but gave it a try with an open mind.  It was a major learning experience for me in my first experience with homeopathy.

Thank you "Natural Healing Gal" !  You truly helped me and I feel full of gratitude.

#NaturalHealingGal

Bumps And Bruises

(by Natural Healing Gal, Marie)

Things that go bump…

My all time favorite Homeopathic remedy is Arnica Montana.

According to Dr. Luc, "Arnica is the king of the trauma remedies and king of the sports remedies. Arnica is good for the whole family for bumps, bruises, pulled muscles, and overuse of muscles…"

Well, he is so right! I tend to bruise quite easily, and I am not the most graceful person.  My cat, Otis (who passed away a few years ago) would walk across my lap and I would occasionally see bruises like his paw prints! I began taking Arnica 30C anytime I bumped into a chair, hit my head on the car roof, or fell in the grass when I was running. For minor bumps and bruises, one dose (see article Starting with Homeopathy on doses) is all that is needed. To my surprise, the bruises were minimized, and if I took the remedy right away, there was usually no bruise at all. The best part? No side effects.

I soon realized I could use Arnica for a heavy workout when my muscles were sore. It worked so well, and I felt better quickly!

I began to give it to my pets when they bumped into something or fell. One time my sheltie, Desi, was heading into the house and did not see the glass sliding door was closed. OUCH… I immediately gave him Arnica and he recovered from it very quickly. In that case I gave him an extra dose a few hours later.

Our pets cannot tell us how they feel, so we have to watch for signs carefully. Running in dog sports, they can get a mild injury that we may not notice for a while. I have a massage therapist that works on my dogs who would find mild injuries from time to time. When I began giving them Arnica 30C after a long day of competition, the sore muscles and misalignments usually found were minimized greatly.

Once when I was running at a competition indoors, I was knocked down and hurt my ribs. We were running on a dirt surface that was not very forgiving. When I stood up, the pain was pretty strong.  Since I have never broken a bone, I had no idea if it was broken…I just knew it hurt to breathe. Luckily, I had my kit with me as I try to take it with me on all my travels. I took Arnica 30C right away, but it still hurt a lot. I told a friend about my concern, and she said, there is one way to know. Lie down. You will know by the pain you feel. OH my…

I considered going to the doctor.  I could not lie down until I got home several hours later. When I did, I felt it POP and saw stars. Luckily it was momentary, and I was back to the pain I felt earlier that day. It felt like I had knocked a rib out of place, (and my chiropractor confirmed it at my next appointment).

Dr Luc has a protocol that he wrote about for a serious injury like that, and I followed it. Take Arnica 30C, then four hours later Arnica 200C, then another four hours Arnica 1M.  I actually made a mistake and followed it backwards, I used 1M first. It still worked like a charm! The pain was minimized the next day, and by the following weekend, I was back to running again, with very mild discomfort. I saw a light discoloration on my skin that could have been a bruise. A few days later it was gone.

I unfortunately had the opportunity over the last two years to try the protocol 3 more times. Sprained ankle, pulled leg muscle while running, and the last incident happened when I was visiting my grandchildren in Kentucky. I was playing soccer with my granddaughter and slipped on the grass and fell. I thought I was ok, but I bruised my big toe…and I had forgotten to take my travel kit with me! I tried to forget about it, but a few hours later my foot swelled up so I could barely get my shoe on, and I could only put pressure on my heel when I walked.

It was the night before Thanksgiving, and stores were closed the next day. Thankfully a local health food store was still open, and my incredibly helpful husband drove me in the freezing rain to find it. (He told me to write that!) They had Arnica 200C. I took it right away, and took a dose every 6 hours for the first two days. By the second day the swelling was gone, and on day 3 and 4 I took the remedy twice a day. I was walking normally again by the fourth day. By the following week I was able to dance in my Zumba class and run with my dogs.

I think I will remember to have Arnica with me next time!

-- Marie --

Further Reading:

Arnica:  Natural Relief During Pregnancy And Childbirth

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Marie is a regular columnist on Mind Body Thoughts.  She writes the Natural Healing Gal monthly column.  This article is written by Marie.

To learn more about her and see all her other articles, go to Marie's Page, Natural Healing Gal.

Check her page out to see the Medical Disclaimer

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Marie

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Financial Pain In The Neck

One of the things that I’ve struggled with over the years is finances.  Even when I’ve had money in my bank account, I get nervous about tomorrow.  I get nervous if it will be there.  I get the feeling that it will all be gone and there will be no more and I’ll be hungry and homeless. 

While all of those fears may be irrational and they don’t happen, they almost did at one time in my life.  That’s a part of my past, I’ll withhold from more detail because it is a dark part that I wish would have never happened. 

Then there is the part that when I was growing up, food was scarce.  I remember the free school lunches that sometimes were the main meal for my day.  I remember the government handouts of dried powder milk, dried eggs, and peanut butter.  No, they didn’t taste good but hunger outranked taste.

We went to bed hungry many times.  We shivered in the cold rural farm houses we lived.  Our boots that we trudged through the cold frozen snowy ground had holes in them.  Our mittens were thin.  Probably at one time, I could have packed all the clothes I had in one suitcase.  So some of the fears are real, even if they are from the past.

Abundance and financial security...

Abundance and financial security are concepts I still struggle with no matter what I do.  I’ve made progress, but then I got hit front and center with this latest trigger that messed with my head.

As I finally got up the courage to check my bank account and pay bills that I knew were coming due, the anxiety was so high.  In fact, I almost had an anxiety attack just getting myself to do the regular financial routine.  I wasn’t able to do too much because it was just overwhelming, so I did what I could and closed things down.  I didn’t think any more of it – until I went to bed.

My neck began to hurt...

Laying my head on my pillow and drifting off to sleep or trying to sleep, my neck began to hurt.  Now, as I’ve went through tremendous healing, there is one part of me that I still struggle with and that is my neck.  Often I have a lot of neck pain and if it isn’t every day, then it occurs frequently in the week depending on my physical activity.  At times, it is better.  At other times, it is worse.

Dr. Canali has a difficult time working with my neck and trying to get it and my shoulders to release.  Even if he distracts me, the minute he gets close to touching my neck, my entire body freezes on the treatment table.  At times, he has been able to work with it, but most of the time, it is hands off or I freeze approach.

So, as I was laying in bed, my neck began to hurt.  Often I can breathe a little and work on some relaxation and it will go away.  Tonight, nothing worked for me!  A few hours earlier, I struggled through the anxiety of the finances, but had not even considered the connection at this point.

The pain was escalating... 

Finally after I was not able to get the pain and tension to reduce, I ended up getting up out of bed.  The pain was escalating and the headache was increasing.  My neck muscle area felt cold and lifeless.  Yet, I could feel the intensity of the pain in a way I had never felt before.  I gave up and took an Aleve to try to bring the pain down a little.  I’m not a person that likes to take pills for pain.  For me, its about solving the issue – not masking the issue.  In this case, I could not alleviate the pain.

The Aleve did help and some more attempts to relaxing this area and breathing into it started to ease things a bit that allowed me to go back to bed.  I slept for several hours before waking up, but the pain and tension were still prevalent.  I was so hoping that with some sleep, they would improve.

After I got up, I almost took another Aleve, but I didn’t want to do that.  I knew that masking the pain was not going to help.  Most people turn towards the pain relievers, but I’m not one of those that do this.

I plugged in the Resperate...

So I finally got on my own treatment table, plugged the Resperate in and started to do the deep breathing connection with my body.  I went through two full cycles of this.  It was interesting to note that my pulse was actually lower, almost as if the anxiety and stress were weighing hard on my nervous system.  As I continued with the Reperate, I saw my pulse drop down, my breath slow way down and I felt the tension leave my body.

It was in that moment that I saw the little boy cowering in the corner of the room with his head down and his arms covering his head.  As things flew overhead, I was ducking and trying to keep myself from getting hurt.  My parents were at it again, fighting and screaming and throwing things – all over the family finances or what my Dad had spent when we had no money.  It felt like a war zone in those moments.  It seemed like it went on forever.  It seemed like it went on every day.  I cringe at the thought of what that little boy went through.  That little boy was me.

I saw the connection between what happened in my neck with the pain and tension and having to hunker down and duck from the things being thrown across the room.  I’ve never remember this one until now.  I wish I could forget.  I wish it never happened. 

At this moment, I’m really not sure what I do with this.  How do you recover from something that happened so long ago, but yet this most likely has a strong impact on how I view finances.  Finances are a war zone to me, where you just try to avoid them and duck so you don’t get hurt.  This isn’t really a good message to attract abundance or financial stability into my life.  In fact, the obvious statement is that it is the complete opposite.

I’ve struggled for a long time with neck issues.  Maybe I’m beginning to see what is fueling them.  Maybe it is more than just normal tension and stress.  If I had to sit down and create a movie about these experiences, it would not be hard to do.  The images and scenes feel so vivid and real.  They feel like one right after another.

I know they are challenges that I’ll find a way to overcome the financial pain in my neck.  I don’t get swept up into feeling like there is no way out and I don’t just do the doom and gloom.  I write these words so I can learn and process and find my way through it so that maybe they have less impact upon me.

I know of no other way to heal from them at this moment.  It is the beginning of trying to find healing and I’ve got a feeling that as I heal, so many other things in my life will stabilize more.

 #FinancialStruggles

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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