I saw this question posted online by a friend and so I thought I would write about it. What is your idea of rest? Doesn't it sound simple and straightforward?
Unfortunately, I don't think it is because from what I see in this world, very few people take time out to stop and rest. No, I don't have hard evidence of that, other than what I've observed and seen in people and in the bodywork clients I have worked on.
We spend too much time with our phones and staying connected continuously. We run from this activity to that activity without really looking hard at where our time should go. In many ways, we are so busy being busy that we are too busy to notice that we are.
The mind and the body need downtime. Yes, we need sleep, but rest is beyond the sleep moments.
Can you run your car a 1000 miles without stopping? Can you work 24 hours a day without stopping? The answer you would most likely give to this is no, you can't. However, we still tend to apply these same principals to our life.
The mind needs time to process and defrag itself, but if we are continually going, there's no way to do this. If we don't stop and spend time observing life (such as nature or our breathing or stillness), life will pass us by. Life will slip away before we realize it and all the essential stuff we will have missed.
The mind needs periods of downtime. We're so stimulated with data and input coming at us a million times a second that rest seems foreign. We don't even realize because we are so unconscious and unaware these days of our limits. Many times, we are keeping our minds in a constant state of busyness is not health.
Our body's need rest. It needs to build up and recuperate, but we see how far we can push it. We don't give it a second thought. We keep piling stress on top of stress in our muscles, tissues, and cells. The more we do this, the more we add layers to something that could have been so simple to release and let go. As it builds, so do chronic pain and health issues as a result. Then we wonder in amazement why we are in the shape we are.
The more you give your mind and your body some downtime in life, the healthier you will be. You will see things in a more balanced way and not be so numb or fear driven in life. It will help bring balance to all parts of your life because you will be taking care of yourself instead of neglecting yourself.
Of course, you can continue to do what you do thinking that very beliefs will take care of you. Unfortunately, if you don't deal with life, stress and stopping to rest, it will deal with you. You can count on that. Just look at the research that shows how much of doctor visits are related to stress. We don't take care of ourselves, and the result is not good.
You don't have to meditate on the edge of a cliff for 5 hours every day. You can take little steps like stopping to notice your breath. You can choose 10 or 15 minutes at lunchtime and sit there in nature or in a quiet place and just be still. Observe. Put the phone away.
Sometimes quiet and stillness is an excellent form of rest. Without it, we turn our lives into one noisy and busy nightmare that we will never wake up from in our life. Don't wait until it is too late like I did. Take charge of your life by taking care of your life.
It's all those other people out there. It's the - insert label here - people. You know, those that don't think like we do! To this, I can only say, how high and mighty we are! Yes, I say this with disbelief.
Too many of us think that we have all the answers. I'm using the collective "we" because I don't want to let anyone off the hook on this blog post. If it makes anyone feel uncomfortable, I'm perfectly fine with that at this moment.
You see, we label others, and we look down our noses at them. We see them with contempt. They are not like us. They don't believe what we do, think like we do, talk like we talk or live in the way we think they should. They are mistaken and misled people. They are wrong. These people know not what they do!
We look at people with disdain and as if they are the reason for our problems. We strike out at them trying to correct them into human beings that we can associate with in our day.
After all, we feel we must tell them where they went wrong and just how misguided they are. We must do this if we want the world to continue on because only we know best.
Then we take to social media to point out just how stupid others are. They know not what they do, and we are here to tweet and like and post just how wrong they are. Of course, we are the right ones. We know best. We must retweet and share for it is the only way others will know how lost they are.
While this is the way things seem to operate these days in our society, we're really all in this boat together. While we may think we have the answers and are right in what we say, we're really throwing mud in the face of others. Our eyes are so darkened that we cannot even begin to see this.
We've lost the way of listening to one other and engaging with each other. No more do we honor and respect one another, and no it isn't because everyone else does not do this. We've lost it within ourselves. Respect for ourselves has vanished.
No longer are we connected to our heart and our mind body. Instead, we obliterate ourselves with our busy, nonstop, stressful lives. We pour junk into our guts hoping acting as if it doesn't matter while playing a dangerous game of risk with health treatments that fail to treat the root causes.
We have added so much horror on our days by not dealing with life's issues, but by numbing ourselves every second of the day. Feelings and emotions are running for cover. Heart and mind connected thoughts are silent.
If we continue this way, we'll be in a much worse mess than we are now. We cannot sustain this because it is taking its toll on the human body and the mind. It is not up to someone else to solve this. This has to begin with each one of us. Only we can turn it around in our lives.
While we may think we are high and mighty, in many ways, we are not. The more we believe that everyone else is the problem, the more we have lost our way.
Stop for a moment. Look at what you are doing to yourself and the world-at-large. Leave no stone of discovery unturned. Look deep and hard within your own mind and body and heart to see what needs the sunshine of truth.
Give up trying to pull the speck out of your brother's eye when you have a log in your own eye. It is the only way to help anyone is by helping ourselves first. Otherwise, we are just high and mighty as we continue to destroy the world we live in.
These words make my skin crawl with disgust for humanity. When I see someone tell another person going through a difficult time to suck it up and move on, it saddens me. Why on earth would you make this statement to anyone?
We all have our difficult moments and issues in our life. Sometimes they are not easy to just move on to the next moment as if they didn't happen. They are often complex and require little steps towards healing and moving on.
No one can tell another when they should move on. If we have not walked in the shoes of another and we don't know what they are dealing with in their life. In fact, even though it may appear to us that they are not moving on, they may, in fact, be making significant progress. They may be taking big leaps when we cannot see it.
It is not up to us to be heartless and mean and uncaring to someone by telling them to suck it up and move on. I believe this is about as low as you can get on being human. Okay, there are other things much lower, but this ranks right down at the bottom of human consciousness.
Telling someone to suck it up means you're telling them to ignore what it is they are feeling or have experienced. You're saying to those who are struggling that what they are going through does not matter. Most likely how it makes you feel is more important than what they are going through at that moment.
When others are going through difficult moments, one of the worst things is to listen to people telling them to suck it up and move on. In fact, that's a recipe for major health issues, mental health struggles like depression and anxiety and suicide. It is a recipe for adding stress to your life and setting up moments in the future where you don't deal with things in a healthy way.
If you can't be there for the person with empathy and compassion, maybe the best thing to do is run along into the woods. Perhaps it is a time for you to do some soul-searching about what it means to be human. You're not helping anyone if you are making statements like this to others. You're hurting them in ways you don't even understand.
The world needs those who are peaceful and loving. We don't need more judgment and condemnation. We need empathy and love, compassion and understanding. The world needs us to show up for one another and help support each other as we walk through this journey of life.
Be human and stop telling others to suck it up and move on! You'll be doing the world a big favor. You will be impacting the world in a positive way.
Extend your arms of support to people. Don't harm them more when they are facing difficult moments.
These days I see people pushing one movement or another. I look at where we are told to "stand up to this issue" or "prevent this issue" or "bring awareness to an issue." But yet, I wonder if we really want to change.
We give lip service that we do. We fill our Twitter and Facebook feeds with it, but then our actions portray just the opposite. Please don't mistake this blog post as being a political one, because it is much bigger than that. I am more focused on mind body health and healing.
I've written some blog posts about intense and difficult subjects. These are often about the things that everyone wants to stop, prevent, change or bring about through awareness. Yet, when I share those online, the click rate to the blog post is barely existent.
It appears that we want to help change the world and bring awareness, prevention, or support, but we really don't want to do much more than that. So, I have to question, do we really want change?
I know... I know.. Everyone will say of course we want change. Of course we care about our issues, but unfortunately, actions speak louder. If all you're willing to do is retweet or like or share the fact that you are raising awareness, does that go far enough? In my view, I don't believe that it does.
I don't even believe it means we have to protest or sign petitions. I'm not convinced that those always bring about the change we need. We may think we do, and there may be some evidence of it, but does it really do what we think it does? To me, it feels more like screaming and boiling water than actually doing something.
After all, if you want to change the world, it begins with each one of us. It doesn't start by beating someone else over the head to see the world the way we do. It doesn't begin with bullying someone into believing the way we do. It starts with how we change our own lives in this world.
It isn't just a thought process in what we think and believe. From deep within the core of the mind and body, it radiates out energetically as a vibration. What is genuinely within us is shown to the world. We may not be conscious of it. We may not be aware of it, but it is on display.
Do we really want change? If we do, we'll support conscious behavior that helps others heal. We will quit focusing on the latest trending story of the day and look beyond to a bigger picture. If we really want change, we'll start by examining ourselves from the deepest parts, not from our belief system.
I'm not going to stop writing about the hard and challenging subjects. People may stay in the clouds and not read these things. That is their choice, but I'm not going to sit by silently. I'm not going to watch others be abused and remain silenced.
This blog and everything I write is about pushing us beyond our comfort zone. It is about challenging our beliefs and opinions and current awareness. I strive to get people who read this blog to think about everything more and in a different light.
We are following a dangerous path in this world, and we really need to ask the hard questions. I'll leave you with this question one last time: Do we really want change? If we do, it must begin with each one of us. Let our mind body health and healing start within our own continued awareness of what is possible.
I've got a feeling I'm not the only one out there struggling with this issue. In fact, I know others that have admitted this to me. If you've followed me for some time, you've probably seen that I struggle with dental anxiety.
Now, I'm not just talking about being a little afraid of going to the dentist. I'm referring to full on anxiety attacks in just making an appointment. For me to pick up the phone, that's when the anxiety at full speed. Getting into the dentist office is nothing short of running 20 marathons in a single minute.
One of the things I truly struggle with is anytime anyone puts anything in my mouth like the dentist. I freak out. I freeze. My body literally goes into such a fear response that it becomes very rigid. I'm so frustrated with this and I put off much needed work until it got so bad I had not choice but to go in and struggle with my fears.
A dentist I've found close to me is very good about working with me. I do use some medication to help me get in the door and I have a trusted friend with me at all times. In fact, my friend is the one that makes the appointments and handles anything over the phone on this, because I just can't bring myself to do this part.
One of the things I've noticed in myself about dental anxiety is how difficult it is to brush my teeth. I grew up doing this every day, but when the memories of abuse triggered me so much, it was an all out battle to get myself to brush my teeth.
Now, I have noticed that just to insert the toothbrush into my mouth is triggering beyond any words I could write here. Of course, this compounds the problem. I'm pushing myself to brush my teeth now, but it feels like I'm being abused and molested every time I do.
I just want people to be aware of this, especially dentists. Some of us struggle so hard and while we try to trust the professionals, it is not easy. As I said, it feels like I'm being abused and molested every time I go for a dentist appointment. My dentist is great and works with me, but no matter what, I feel that trigger. My body feels it. My body reacts to it.
Even writing about this is difficult and I can feel the anxiety and heat rise within me. It is not a simple trigger to me. I'd so love to get beyond it and be able to go to the dentist office like normal people do. I hate this part about life because it is exhausting and overwhelming.
My grandmother was the one who introduced me to natural healing. When I was around 11, she told me what most people say about sickness is wrong… and if you believe them, then you are giving in to that part that doesn’t have to be true. She taught me I could heal any stomach ache, and almost any pain. That’s where that belief stuck with me.
We need to teach children at a very early age that it’s not normal to be sick. Our bodies are not made to be sick. They’re made to be well! Sicknesses often come from the misguided part of our beliefs, and that comes through from generation to generation. You have parents that have a child who gets a headache, and they’re running them to the emergency room. You’re teaching them at a young age that no matter how you feel, if it’s uncomfortable, there’s something wrong with you. On the other hand, if you’re taught that you are well, that there is no sickness inside of you, then the opposite will happen.
Create and Reverse Illness...
Not only can our minds create illnesses, but they can also reverse them. That’s how powerful our minds are. We are the creator of our story, our life, what we carry inside us.
People buy into surgery and drugs as the norm. Surgery puts your body through all kinds of trauma, instead of letting it heal on its own. People are also tired of the medical field telling them to take this or take that pill. You’re only meant to take them for a very short time, not a lifetime, and they give them to you for a lifetime. Then they add to it because it no longer works.
The Mind Is The Power...
I’ve learned over and over again that our mind is the power. If we can correct our mind to let go of the false beliefs, the ego, and what is dictated to us, then we can turn inward to discover whatever is inside our body, be it cancer or any illness at all, and literally heal it. But it takes a lot of work. Is it possible? Yes, it’s possible, it happens all the time. It’s about our inward communication.
The more I go in, the more work I do inside of myself, in my body, the more I discover that memory is stored everywhere. It’s not just the stomach, it’s not just the heart, it’s everywhere, and our life stories – the things that have been painful to us, that have hurt us, that have created anger and hate -- are stored in all areas of the body, just waiting to come out and be healed. The cells tell the mind what to do.
Going inward and surrendering to it will open the story. It will pop a memory in your brain so fast. To surrender does not mean to forget. Surrendering is the part that says you just let go, and it comes out. It’s not that all of a sudden the memory comes into your head and you decipher it. When you do that, you’re putting It back into your body.
What you want to do is heal the pain, not just take it away. The pain is there to remind you not to forget that there’s something that needs to be healed. When you have the pain, you have that opportunity to go in and see what it is. Is it a certain memory? Is it a certain emotion? When you find what it is, don’t take it and see what you can do with it. Acknowledge it. That’s it. It’s in acknowledgment that the body releases it. You no longer need to carry this.
Humans are peculiar in how they treat themselves. We often negate the power we have inside of us to heal our mind and body. We too easily give our power up to others, rather than going in and doing the hard work to heal.
Yes, I know - It isn't easy to heal. It is pretty tough work and very hard. Whether it is mental struggles, child sexual abuse, or physical illness - it just is not an easy moment in our life.
Please know, I'm not going to say that all medical procedures or healing paths you are on don't work. No way! There are many core truths within each path that help us get to the next point. The only thing is, we tend to stop on the bench along the path and forget to get back up again on the healing journey. If you don't do this, well - I do!
I was not going to settle...
I still remember back to the days I was paralyzed from Conversion Disorder. I could have stopped on the bench and said "that's it" and no one would have thought badly of me. Yet, I knew that I was not going to settle for where I was. I was not going to accept the condition I had. I was not going to accept that I could not walk, move and barely talk.
One of the biggest problems I see in how we heal our mind and body is pursuing things that suppress one body system over another. They keep us hiding from the true nature of what is going on. The fear that arises when we hit these horrendous moments of what seems like an impossible dilemma is enough to take the strongest person down in a heartbeat. I know - I've been there!
Fear and numbness...
Fear and numbness in our mind and body keep us from seeing more. They suppress our body systems and draw us toward the things that suppress our body systems. When we suppress things in our body, other body systems are impacted. When you impact other areas, then you start flipping the wrong light switches within the body.
Of course, it requires great courage to go deep into what is happening and find the awareness that we need, but in the end - it is your ticket out of hell. The things that just numb the pain and or illness further are not as healing as we try to make them out to be. They are more there to disconnect us from what is going on, which is not even close to being a healing moment.
Impacting body systems by suppression of symptoms and conditions in our life is the norm in healing these days. Yes, I did those things too and they helped me get to the point where I started to see there is more. So, don't discount their effectiveness, but don't get lost in them either.
Healing our mind and body is much more than 99% of the world understands. I wish it was a lower percentage, but I really am saddened by how I see humans attempt to numb and disconnect themselves these days. It is not health. It is not healing.
We all know it. We all think about it. Yet, we as a collective people don't get enough exercise in. It continues to show up through health issues like diabetes, high blood pressure and other things. While the solution might seem simple, often we get too busy or we lose our motivation to exercise. So, Corey The Orange cat is back to remind us that exercise is good for the mind and body. It is one of the best things we can do for ourselves.
One of the things I have struggled with in my life, is sugar consumption. If I tried to cut back on sugar from my diet, it would come at me like a zillion monsters attacking me. The more I tried, the more I failed.
Before a dear friend passed away from cancer, one of the last things she said to me was, "cut sugar out". It hit me hard and I know that she was correct.
Sugar is great. It tastes so good. It is addictive. It gives me a high. I love it. I love it. I love it and I want more of it.
Unfortunately, too much sugar is not healthy for the body in what I've learned. No, I'm not some doctor of nutrition or anything like that. I'm really speaking about my own understanding and comprehension.
So, here I am trying to get off the stuff and the harder I tried, it came back at me like a boomerang effect. The more I tried, the more I craved it and then it left me feeling horrible and weak and defeated. I knew there had to be a way.
Here's what I did. While this may not work for everyone, maybe something in what I'm writing about will help you.
Mind Body and Mindfulness
This was not about some thought philosophy or mantras or meditation. Not that those things don't help because they do. What I'm referring to here is something more than the standard mind body and mindfulness thinking we all preach that we do. In this case, I went in and started working hard on my inner self and from a cellular body component, I learned to release and let go of things. It was about using Unified Therapy to go in and face the fears and demons of my past so that I could reclaim my life. These things are essential for true growth into awareness and consciousness.
Mindful Of What You Eat
What I mean by mindful is to be consciously aware of what you eat. It isn't about chastising yourself and saying "I screwed up". It isn't about counting calories or how much you consume or finding something to beat yourself up on. It is about observing and noticing how much sugar you eat. Become aware of the sugar content and sources in the stuff you buy. You'll be surprised at how much sugar is in things you would not think it was. Just observe and be aware of it.
What can you cut back?
Normally there is something you can cut back that starts to drop the sugar consumption. Make it something that is small and you think you can do without. See if you can go a day or a few days, then maybe a week and a few weeks. Try it small, build up on the success and use that to help motivate you further. For me, I stopped buying these big bags of candy and having them sit around at my house. If they were in the house, I was going to eat them. By not having them at my house, it made it much easier to just say no.
The First Thing You Eat
I noticed and found this by an odd observation, that if the first thing I ate in the morning had no sugar, it helped me the rest of the day. Without that sugar fix first thing, my taste buds and neural pathways had a fighting chance. It is almost like my brain found a new pathway to what I ate, rather than getting the early morning addictive fix which set me up for the rest of the day. The more I did this, even if I followed it by some sugar in cereal or something else, I was more empowered. I found I ate less sugary stuff and had less of a desire for it if the first thing I hate was without sugar. I've checked this out a few times on myself and I get the same result.
Splurge
As much as you may want to cut sugar out completely, sometimes you just have to let yourself go and splurge. If I said to myself that tomorrow there will be absolutely no more sugar, I'm sure I would be beating myself up very hard. If I just work to cut it back but allow myself to splurge every ONCEin awhile, then I've got the control. I'm empowered. Now, I don't mean splurge every day, but begin to limit it.
Find alternative sugar and sweet sources that are healthy and delicious. By searching for these things and reading the ingredients on labels of the foodstuffs you buy, you'll be helping yourself help yourself. Don't just replace sugar with something that is not healthy because there are far too many products that I don't believe are as good for you as they claim to be.
I think we all chastise ourselves far too much and the shame just fuels what we eat, including the sugar we take in. Sugar is very addictive and I'm sorry if the sugar industry does not like that, but if you see how much is added to everything we eat, I think the evidence speaks for itself. If the sugar industry really cared about health, they'd be trying to put themselves out of business.
A little sugar can be good, but right now we are addicted to sugar. The obesity and diabetes rates have skyrocketed which I feel are a direct result of sugar. If you can just cut the amount of sugar down in your diet, you done so much for yourself to make your mind and body healthier.
These are 5 ways I used to cut sugar back in my diet. What have you tried that helps you? Let's all learn together. Leave a comment of what has worked personally for you.
It seems like far too many humans go on autopilot these days. I don't think they mean too, but they just do it. It seems to be more of an unconscious action to me from what I observe. When we do this, it keeps us from fully realizing what we take in and what we are.
We all seem to know that what we take in, we become. It is like the old proverbial saying, "Garbage In - Garbage Out".
In fact, I remember learning that saying in a computer class where if you put garbage numbers in, don't expect something good to come out of it.
Healthy Body...
If you want a healthy body, but you put bad food in constantly and plenty of it, more than likely you're not going to get a healthy body. If you don't read the labels and know what you're putting into your body, it is impossible to expect a healthy one.
Healthy Mind...
If you want a healthy mind, but you take in all the latest sensationalized headlines of the day, the latest bombastic political headline and all the fear that is propagated each day, the mind will definitely struggle. You might be a little oblivious to how much it impacts you, but from observing others, I think it is pretty easy to see.
Healed Life...
If you want a healed life, but you fixate upon the horrors only, it will make it difficult. No, I'm not saying ignore them because when you've been through trauma, ignoring it will not make it go away. I know it isn't easy to reverse the impact of trauma on your life, but to have a healed life, you have to go in and take that control back, pushing past into and past the fear.
Peace...
If you want to have peace, but you constantly engage in the hateful rhetoric of the day, most likely you're not going to find peace. There is far too much unconscious hate that is being spewed these days online and if you don't limit it, it will overwhelm you and take you as far away from peace as is possible.
Expanding Mind...
If you want to have an ever expanding mind, approaching life with excuses or reasons why something won't work, will keep your mind limited. Far too often we approach new ideas and new ways of looking at things as foreign objects that are our enemies, rather than potential friends. Yes, not every idea out there is a good one for us to explore, but if we automatically decry anything new, we're holding our mind back.
More Of A Human...
If you want to be more of a human, than it is best to learn what being a human means. It involves respect and compassion for one another. It involves seeing others through the eyes of love, not the darkness of hatred and fear. Being human is more of an endeavor to realize that we are all on this planet to succeed and by working together in common bonds, we will be better than we are today.
We Are What We Take In...
We are what we take in to our body, mind, spirit, and overall existence in this world. Even if we are unconscious of what we do every day in this regard, it is still part of us and still activity that we embrace.
It requires a conscious effort to be aware of all that we are in the mind and body, not just what we think we are. Consciousness is born out of awareness and the more aware we become, the more fully our life shows up
In my view, it is part of the human existence to become more aware and more conscious of who we are. It is part of our overall growth and experience.
Each day, we get the opportunity to discover a little more about the world we live in and who we are as humans. May that process never stop and may we challenge ourselves to be more today than we were yesterday.
I've been trying to do something I've never done and finding out this is a learning process. This is the first time that I've tried to grow tomato seedlings from little seeds. I really had no clue how to do this and so I just jumped in with both feet. Of course, the tomato plants are teaching me well!
Since I am growing them close to where I work in my home office, I keep a constant eye on them. While they were doing quite well, I've been noticing that they aren't able to stand straight up as they grow taller. At first, I thought they were just stretching for the light, but today I noticed that it was more than that.
Going to google and doing a search, I started to see conversations about plants doing "legging" as they called it. If a plant was not getting enough sunlight, they would tend to grow taller and move anyway they could towards the light. I believe that is what is going on with my plants and right now, I've got them outside on the patio getting as much sunlight as they so desire.
It got me thinking though about stress. Here is an opportunity for me to learn as the tomato plants teach me about stress.
Of course, we may not always recognize how much stress a plant goes through, but in this case, I think not having enough sunshine or light is stressful on the plant. The plants need water, food, and sunlight to grow. When one of those is not in enough supply, it creates stress on the plant.
We don't fully see stress...
As I apply this to the mind body, if we have stress in our day which most of us do, it has an impact upon us. Often we don't fully see the stress and often we are so numb and disconnected that even if the stress is pointed out, we never see it.
To me, at its basic level, stress is the result of not having what you need at that moment even if it is a perceived lack of something. In this case of the tomato plants, it is the lack of light or sunshine. I realize, this is greatly simplifying what stress is, but I think it is at the essence of it. To fully describe it, would take another blog post.
It doesn't necessarily mean someone or something is bad to you, but that in its basic form, what is needed is just not available.
We overcompensate for stress..
In this case, the tomato plants try to overcompensate by growing in different directions and trying to grow taller as if to get more daylight. We too, as humans, do the same thing. We overcompensate every day by numbing, disconnecting and doing things that take us away from our mind body connection.
The way for us humans to come back is by stopping and observing the felt sense of our body and where we are. It is about stopping to feel what we know in our minds with where we feel that sensation within our body. It is about stopping to feel a sensation in our body and then allow it to connect with our mind through the felt sense.
Make changes to find balance...
I know that stress is often perceived as something that is bad or you are weak if you are stressed. I've heard all of it in life. If we look at stress as being something that we either perceive to not have in this moment or are lacking in our life, than the corrective action would be to make changes to balance this back to normal.
I know, it is easier said than done to do this, but I think if we alter how we perceive stress and if we actually recognize it, we've taken major steps to bring our mind and body back into balance.
To live in a day has stress present. I'm not sure you can get through a day without some type of stressor upon your life. Even the smallest of stressors still impact us and if we let those continue, the compensation behaviors we do often build up and come back to bite us in the butt!
Work to identify the stressors in your day and allow yourself to recognize them. Next, stop and observe what you feel in the body and then allow your mind to connect those things together. The more you can do this, the more your nervous system stays in balance and there is more resiliency in your nervous system for the larger things that show up in a day.
I know as soon as I write this someone is going to say, but "you don't have this experience" or "you don't understand" or "insert random statement here".
Yes, I probably don't know your situation and no, I've not had many of the other situations to deal with. No, I probably don't fully understand. All I can do is speak from my own experience.
Now, I'm not any magic genie mystical person that has all the answers. Heck, I'm on the search for answers myself most of the time. I have seen many things happen both to myself and others that regular health care would deem impossible. I've heard the many lines that you have to live with a condition I had, but I proved them wrong.
Before you think I have some mystical powers, I don't! I do have a willingness to shed paradigms of what I've been taught and not subscribe to the fear of whatever health situation it is. Okay, sometimes the fear overtakes me too, but I'm able to back out of it. I also just don't believe that we cannot impact our health in ways no one understand.
I've seen it with others. I remember one friend of mine whose husband had this rare condition and the doctors gave him six months live. He quit his job. They got all of their finances together. After several months, lo and behold the doctors were amazed because the rare condition that normally resulted in death was GONE! There was no trace of it in this person's body.
I've heard stories from a doctor friend of mine that someone who was blind ended up being able to see for the first time out of both eyes after some treatments. The doctors were all confused and struggling to treat this person. It shocked this doctor friend of mine and it is almost too difficult to believe.
Check the story out of Dr. Joe Dispenza after an accident where the doctors thought he was nuts for not going through with a necessary spinal surgery. He not only proved the surgery was unnecessary, but he found a way to heal himself. It is a moving story of one I don't fully understand yet.
As for myself, I went through a Conversion Disorder and in those days, they didn't know as much as they do now. Yet, we still don't know as much on this condition as we need to know. All the doctors and therapist concluded that most likely I would never function again (walk, talk, or work) like I did before it hit. I proved them wrong! Today, you would not be able to tell I was paralyzed and struggling to talk or move and next to death.
Yes, some might say these are miracles, but there are many more stories than these. They exist. They can be repeated. Just check out Evolutionary Healing Institute in Miami, Florida with Dr. Paul Canali. His concepts and processes aren't pie-in-the-sky. They are very real and they are repeatable. They are backed up by science.
The thing is, we don't feel like we impact our health as much as we really do. We give lip service to health issues and keeping healthy, but the thing is - we really don't live a healthy life as much as we think we do. Stress, past experiences and trauma impact the body, but most think that through thoughts alone, that's all that is needed to take care of it. They forget the body half of the equation.
We impact our health in so many unconscious ways every day but we don't stop to see that. We may see some of it on the surface, but the deeper stuff is usually covered by layers of fear and day after day experiences that only serve to cement it in place.
We tend to be a wounded people and instead of using that wounded side of us to explore and push the limits of our own growth, we get taken under by it. Every year we ignore it, we add a little more to the pile of rubbish we place over the top of it. Soon, we have ourselves convinced that if we just think good thoughts and avoid the terrible stuff in life, we'll make it. Unfortunately, the longer you do that, the more it catches up with you.
Each one of us has our own path to walk with our own difficulties, trials, and stresses. I can't tell you how to walk that path anymore than anyone else can. It is up to each one of us though to challenge what we think we know and do with what truly can change our life from the inside out.
It isn't just about putting on a happy face. It is allowing the happy face from deep within our physical body to shine to all the other inhabitants of the planet.
Don't take my word for what I'm saying. Prove it to be true or false for yourself. Challenge yourself to see how you can impact not only your mind, but your body. What do you have to lose?
This study is one that needs to be told to every corner of the world. It was done by the CDC and Kaiser Permanente.
The study is often called the ACE study which stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. It was one of the largest studies into the impact of childhood abuse on health later on in life.
Some facts about how the study was done according to the CDC.gov website.
Two waves of data collection between 1995 and 1997 with over 17,000 people.
Study comprised of 54% women, 46% male.
Ethnicity and race was 74.8 white, followed by 11.2% Hispanic and Latino with other groups making up the difference.
Age ranges were more heavily sampled on 60 and over at 46.4%
Major Findings According To The ACE study
Almost two-thirds of the participants had at least one Adverse Childhood Experience. More than 1 in 5 reported three or more Adverse Childhood Experiences.
The greater the number of experiences you have as a child that are adverse, the greater your risk for having chronic health conditions as you get older. This study shows that in no uncertain terms.
The following website, AcesTooHigh.com does a good job of explaining this in more detail.
As the number of Adverse Childhood Experiences increases, so does the risk for the following:
Alcoholism and alcohol abuse
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease
Depression
Fetal death
Health-related quality of life
Illicit drug use
Ischemic heart disease
Liver disease
Poor work performance
Financial stress
Risk for intimate partner violence
Multiple sexual partners
Sexually transmitted diseases
Smoking
Suicide attempts
Unintended pregnancies
Early initiation of smoking
Early initiation of sexual activity
Adolescent pregnancy
Risk for sexual violence
Poor academic achievement
Adverse Childhood Experiences Definitions
Abuse
Emotional abuse
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Household Challenges
Mother treated violently
Household substance abuse
Mental illness in household
Parental separation or divorce
Criminal household member
Neglect
Emotional neglect
physical neglect
How To Calculate Your Ace Score
Answer the following questions to calculate your score.
(prior to your 18th birthday)
Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? or Act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt? ___No ___If Yes, enter 1
Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? or Ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured? ___No ___If Yes, enter 1
Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever… Touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? or Attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you? ___No ___If Yes, enter 1
Did you often or very often feel that … No one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? or Your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other? ___No ___If Yes, enter 1
Did you often or very often feel that … You didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? or Your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it? ___No ___If Yes, enter 1
Were your parents ever separated or divorced? ___No ___If Yes, enter 1
Was your mother or stepmother: Often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? or Sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? or Ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife? ___No ___If Yes, enter 1
Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs? ___No ___If Yes, enter 1
Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide? ___No ___If Yes, enter 1
Did a household member go to prison? ___No ___If Yes, enter 1
Understanding The Score
Add up all your "YES" answers and that is your ACE score.
The higher the ACE score, the greater health risk you have. It becomes an index where your risk for the health factors listed previously become more a reality.
I'm a firm believer in that if you have a health condition, as long as it is not past the point of no return, I think a person can turn it around. Think of a train going off a cliff that once it gets to the end of the track, there is no stopping it. However, if we're not at that point, we still have a chance to slow the train down. I understand that I am often in the minority on this and many may think I just don't understand. I use my own life's experiences and conditions as proof of this conclusion.
So, I don't accept that any physical health condition cannot be stopped or reversed. This is my opinion and I cannot base it upon fact. So, please don't take this as medical advice because it is not intended to be that. Just don't limit yourself to the current medical wisdom out there. I believe there is far more within us that can turn things around.
In my own life, health problems that I thought I would have to live with are no longer a major concern for me. I don't take medication. Yes, I still have things that crop up on me physically and mentally, but I've learned the tools that pull me back out of hell. There have been some major physical things that I thought were not something I could change and yet, I've discovered that I can really impact them and sometimes pretty quickly.
Why Does All This Matter
When you have been through childhood abuse, if you don't deal with it - it will deal with you. You may think you're getting away with it and it doesn't affect you, but sooner or later it will catch up. It will bring you front and center with it. You may still choose to deny it at that point, but if you do, things will only get worse and I think you reach the point of no return.
From what I have experienced in my own life and through the healing work that I've learned, there is a way to reclaim your physical body and mind and heal from these adverse childhood experiences. Unfortunately, we often just give lip service to this concept while ignoring the true impacts and how we can have great influence over what happens as a result.
At one time, I thought that physical ailments on the body and mind were life sentences. I shouldn't be standing here today writing what I am because everyone at one point thought my future was hopeless. I've battled the depression, anxiety, suicide, migraine headaches, ulcers, allergies, skin issues, high pulse rate and many other physical ailments. At one time, I thought that was just the way things are.
I won't tell you today that my life is perfect and free from all of these physical issues, but I now have more tools in my toolbox to help me deal with things, without turning to medical procedures, surgeries and medications. At one time, I needed some of those things, but it was because I didn't have the tools I now have.
It takes work and courage...
It takes a lot of work and courage to get to this point. It is not easy and I will never mislead anyone into thinking it is just a matter of changing one's thoughts or living by some platitude or meme. In order to begin healing, you have to go into those deep dark horror moments of life and learn how to take the power back from them.
This is not just a mental exercise, although the mind and your thoughts play a major role. This is an exercise where with time, you learn how to feel and connect to your body through the felt sense as it connects with your mind. When you understand that in order to heal your mind, you must feel in your body that which is hard to feel and is often blinded by fear.
Feeling in the body....
Feeling in the body is the most advanced way I have found to heal the adverse childhood experiences I have been through. My ACE score is very high. I've been through a lot and unless I would not have started to use Unified Therapy and the concepts behind it, I would have never made it this far. My life was crashing when I first started to understand and explore how to heal my body and mind.
Therapy and counseling helped me tremendously, but in the end, I had neglected the body part of the mind body connection. It is in the body part of my healing where I started to physically empower my life once again and heal in ways that I did not think were possible. It was not some pie-in-the-sky concept, but one that has been proven many times over on many people. It does work! You can heal!
Fear has been my constant enemy...
Fear has been my constant enemy that I have loathed and despised. It has held me back by fooling me into thinking that I can't heal and that none of my progress is real. Fear has kept me hunkering down in the corner hiding in the shadows as if that was the sum total of my life. Fear has kept me withering in life as if I had no power or worth or value.
We all have to find our way through healing and the experiences we have been through. However, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that if the body is not engaged in healing, the mind will only take you so far. Memes, platitudes, and simple healing statements may have their place, but often they get in the way of the real - down-to-earth work that we need to do.
When life takes you far enough down the trail of no return, it either gets your attention or if you continue to ignore it, you will suffer greatly. We do have the power to change our life from the inside out, but only if we allow ourselves to go through the fear and find it. Often that requires a person who truly understands the effect of trauma on the body and there are far too few that do.
For a long time, I have known about the ACE study because of Unified Therapy by Dr. Paul Canali. He uses this with his patients and helps them realize the cause-effect between trauma and their current health conditions. It is a great tool to begin helping you see the relationship of what trauma does to your current health and well-being.
Further Information
Here is a video done of an interview of some topics, but one of those is the ACE Study. It is with Jim Fazio and Dr. Paul Canali. Jim is a practitioner that has learned Unified Therapy and is having wonderful success with it on his own clients.
Final Thoughts
Where ever you are today in your life, go further - discover more and realize that there is much more potential in healing than may seem possible, feasible or even real.
I really admire Dr. Paul Canali because he has helped me understand that the body connection is where the true healing is at and without it, I would not have made it as far as I did. He doesn't just understand the concepts of healing trauma as a pioneer in this field. He knows how to implement them and see results from one patient to another.
Years ago, they told me I would most likely never function 100% again. I proved the medical world wrong. At one point they were bringing me back to life and it was up to me from that point on to go beyond what I thought I knew so that I could truly heal.
This is the day of the year that everyone pauses to reflect upon their life. Well, at least many people do this on New Year's Day. Unfortunately, the majority of New Years Resolutions don't last and are forgotten within a few weeks of making them. So, let's look at this differently this year.
Yes, it is good to reflect upon your life and see it for what it is. What areas are you doing well at? Give yourself a pat on the back. What areas are you doing poorly at? How can you start doing something today that will impact your weak areas?
It isn't just about physical activity, although that seems to be one of the main ones. It could be about how you deal with stress or maybe the lack of dealing with stress in life. No, dealing with stress is not about drinking alcohol. It's learning how to go in and let go of those moments that build up in a day. To ignore them, it not dealing with it. Sorry, if that bursts your thought bubble. Sometimes a thought bubble needs to be burst though.
Have you confronted them...
Sometimes there are things that we've been through in our life. For some, it seems like they get an extra dosage of moments that they would love to forget. If you have those moments, how are you dealing with those? Have you looked at them and confronted them? Are you healing them and moving forward in life?
It is easy to say we've healed everything in our life, but often we are just disconnecting and numbing to all that we find difficult to deal with from our past. Hey, we've all got issues to work on and that's part of being human. To deny and ignore them doesn't get you too far though. Take it from someone that had to learn the hard way through Conversion Disorder.
How can we move forward...
Maybe instead of making grandiose New Year's Resolutions today, let's take a look and see how we can move forward. What is the most pressing issue? What one thing can you do starting today to make a change and improve your life? How will you do this? Who will help keep you accountable and encourage you? How likely and how willing are you to do this?
Most people need at minimum, three months to make a behavior change in their life. It may take up to six months to lock the behavior change in so it becomes a part of your life. Sometimes you need a health coach or trusted friend to help you through this that will keep you motivated.
If we repeat the same things...
For years, we have often done some unhealthy behaviors that have created our life as we know it. The only thing is, if we keep repeating these things, we're going to get the same result. You can't expect a different outcome by doing the same thing over.
So, here's my offer to you. If you know you need to work on things in your life, let me help you move forward. No, I'm not offering this for any compensation at this moment. This offer is free and its on the table. I just became a certified health coach and am trying to figure out how to implement what I've learned. I'll accept the first 5 people that contact me totally free and without charge. I'm looking for people are ready to change.
Let's move forward together. Contact me by email and we'll work on some questions and plans and then I'll help be your encouragement. I'll help be the cheer leader for what you want to accomplish. Don't contact me, if you're not ready to change because that would just waste my time and yours. I don't mean that to sound harsh as I'm trying to protect and honor my time effectiveness.
Together and united we can move forward. Sometimes on our own, we're not always strong enough, but with the help of someone in our corner, we can do great things. I hope to hear from you. All emails are confidential of course.
Here's to a great New Year of moving forward in life!
Well, ain't this blog a downer! After all, who wants to think about the top three main causes of death. Unfortunately, when I saw this list the other day in a class I took, I was kind of shocked.
Maybe you're not as shocked as I am.
In fact, as I look at this list, I'm thinking to myself that many of them could probably be altered. In a way, it feels like they are something we can do something about in this country.
Yet, why do we not do the things that we need to do to make ourselves truly more healthy?
Before reading any further, take a look at the list again.
Let it sink in for a few moments.
Heart Disease
Heart Disease is something that can be impacted I think by lifestyle and healing those rough experiences in your life. If you don't eat right and push garbage into your body, you're only going to get garbage out in the way of disease, illness and in this case, heart disease.
There are far too many broken hearts out there and hearts that have had to endure far too much pain. In fact, if you read the ACE study, you'll see how past experiences and trauma physically impact the body. Take a look at an earlier blog post I wrote on "The Bomb In The Brain" for more details.
The point is, there are things that we can do and change in our daily life that will impact our body in a positive way. We only have one heart and if we beat the crap out of it every day of our lives, can we expect any different result?
If we are living a sedentary lifestyle with no activity, a poor diet, and not dealing with things in our life, we're just setting ourselves up for this ultimate cause of death.
Next up is Cancer. We had a personal loss in our family with this one and it is not easy to watch someone go through it. Cancer is growing to alarming rates. When I was a kid, it was something you heard people getting every now and then. Now, it seems as if everyone knows someone with cancer or who died from cancer.
While I realize a lot of research is still going into this, there are lifestyle things that we can do to change it. Again, if you fail to take care of your body and your mind, you are just setting yourself up for failure and disease at some point in the future.
One of the last things a family member said to me before she passed away was to cut down on sugar. I have been trying to do that, but I also know that some of the stuff that goes in our food is no more healthy than sugar. If you're not reading the labels on what you buy at the store or paying attention to what you eat in restaurants, you're walking into a mine field.
What we are doing in this country is not working and in order to change things, we need to change our approach. I don't believe taking more medications is the answer. This is my personal opinion and belief. I believe there are other ways to take care of ourselves that are natural, not for the profits of a pharmaceutical industry.
Each day, we do our smoothies made from fresh and whole vegetables and fruits found in our local grocery store. We blend it up and it helps not only digestion, but we just don't get flu and colds like we once did. No, I do not buy into the flu vaccinations either. I do natural stuff instead and even if I pick up a little virus, usually by the next day, it is improving. We have seen remarkable effects of doing these smoothies and I would urge you to read my blog post on "Healing Diseases With Smoothies"
Medical Errors
The last one up on the list is medical errors. This one shocks and horrifies me, especially knowing just how addicted we are these day to surgeries and procedures. I know that in Florida as a Licensed Massage Therapist, we are required to take CEU's on medical errors to renew our licenses. I'm sure most of the medical professional in this state are required to do that as well. I'm not sure what other states require. Obviously the training is not working!
Just think about this for a moment. Someone's death has been caused by a medical error and it is the third leading cause of death. It is mind blowing to me. I can't even begin to comprehend this. Yet, we are looking for surgeries and procedures to help save us from ourselves. Take a look at Dr. John Sarno's book, The Mind Body Prescription. It is mind blowing some of his pioneering discoveries that are still being ignored to this day.
Instead of taking care of ourselves and realizing that we are in control of our health, not our doctors, we're opting for surgeries and procedures that are putting us at risk of death through medical errors. Does that make sense to anyone? Perhaps, there is a different way we should be doing things with our health?
Health Care System
We are reaching a critical mass period I think in our health care system. No, it is not the fault of some politician or some company or whatever it is you may feel. It is the result of each one of us not taking care of ourselves and being so numb and disconnected to our body, that we don't see what is happening until it is too late.
Our body sends us messages, but more often than not, we don't hear the messages and even if we do, we don't listen. We push our bodies beyond the limits. We put garbage into them expecting them to just balance and keep going. We allow the food industry to entice us with healthy stuff and then eat as if there is no tomorrow. We sit at our computers and in front of our video games and TV, hoping that a trip to the refrigerator for another beer or more food will be all the exercise and activity we need.
Surely we can do better as humans. Surely, our brains know much more than this. Each one of us has a much greater impact on our health than we realize or even care to think about in a day. We just know that we've got health insurance and our doctor will give us a pill or a surgery or a procedure to make us all better. Unfortunately, we're living in an illusion.
It is up to each one of us to choose how we will live our life and what we will do to our mind and body. If we choose wisely, it has good benefits. If we continue to make poor choices, than we may become another statistic in the main causes of death.
Our health is one of those things that we think about, know about, and act on every day, but sometimes we just don't do as much for our heath as we should. So, my question to you is, what more could you be doing for your health?
It sounds like such a simple question but in all reality it is not. If we all did as much for our health as we should, our country and the world would be far healthier than it is. Health care costs would be lower and people would most likely not be as cranky because of pain.
Part of the problem is that we see the doctors as holding the key to our health, rather than impacting our health through our daily actions and activities. We think because we have insurance for when something goes wrong, that we can put off the little healthy activities that add up. It is part of our human behavior to do this.
I am always amused when I hear people talk about how healthy they eat. I worked in a fast food restaurant and people would order the salad bar and then add on fries and a milkshake. I always sat there dumbfounded, but hey in the fast food world, its profits over health. We weren't allowed to encourage people to think about what they eat. We were to sell them as much as we could get them to eat.
People talk about how healthy they are...
I see people talk about how healthy they eat, but then if you go into the grocery store of certain areas, it does not match what people claim. If you look at the overall obesity in these same areas, there is plenty of evidence that people don't eat as healthy as they think they do. Look at how much produce is purchased versus how many soft drinks, snacks, and processed foods go through the cash registers.
How many people go and gulp down sugar-flavored coffee drinks every day. Do you realize just how many calories are in one of those things? If not, do a google search and you'll find the answer.
If you aren't reading the labels in the grocery store, you're eating stuff that is of questionable value and most likely full of sugar or other things that do nothing for your health. I am constantly amazed at what is put into foods in the grocery store. It blows my mind and if you don't read every label, you're going to get bamboozled.
Activity that gets you moving...
How many people go out and walk or take part in activity that gets them moving where they can burn some calories, move the toxins from the cells, and get those joints a rocking? We've all got the same amount of minutes in a day and its really up to us in how we use those minutes. Are you being effective with your minutes? If not, what can you do to change that?
Diabetes is fast becoming a major health issue in this country and so much of this is caused by lifestyle choices. If you keep dumping sugar and junk into your body, sooner or later it is going to catch up. Why not start cutting back on sugary drinks or sugar in your diet. Add more "water" to your day. Keep a glass of water close to your desk and see how many of those you can drink in a day.
There are so many things we can do to impact our health, but for whatever reason, we don't do them. We talk about it. We sometimes mock those that don't do it. Yet, we're right in there making the same poor choices.
About medications and doctors...
Just because you're on a medication that has balanced whatever issue out in your life, it doesn't mean that this condition is okay. It just means the medication is replacing your role in the condition. Yes, I know that there are some medications that are needed and I'm not telling you to stop your meds. What I am urging you to do is think about your role in the situation. What more could you be doing?
Don't expect your doctor to have the time to hold you by the hand. Many doctors are so overwhelmed with patient loads that they have little time to counsel you. Many really want to help, but outside factors, including your willingness to change, often prevents them from doing what they need to do. Far too often, doctors have their own paradigms of healing, so why not learn on your own and discover how you can interact with your own health.
We all make choices on our health. We all make decisions as to whether we're going to work to be more healthy or not. Often, everyone waits until they are at the critical emergency state before we wake up and start to do something.
Our health is not going to improve on its own if we keep treating our mind and our body like garbage dumps. So, I'll end with the question I started with on this blog post.
What more could you be doing for your health?
Feel free to leave a comment of what you think you could be doing to help your own health. See if you can come up with a plan where you take action and do something. You may just be saving your own life from misery, pain, and expensive medical bills.
