Sometimes We Break Into Many Pieces

Written By Don Shetterly

It is a given in life I think that sometimes things don't go as planned.  Sometimes we break into many pieces.  When this happens, it is never fun, but sometimes it is necessary.

I can look back at my life and see just how many times I felt so broken inside.  The moments where I felt like I could not go on and I would not make it.  Experiences that felt like they were taking me under as I gulped for my last breath of air.

In these moments of life, I felt like I had broken into so many pieces that there would never be a way to put myself together.  I didn't believe at those times that I could go on and make it in life.  In fact, at one point I went through the paralysis of Conversion Disorder. It felt like walking again was a pipe dream.

Through all of those moments, I came to realize that I could make it.  I had more strength within myself than I realized existed at that second.  When I thought there was no more to get, somehow I reached further down and found more strength.

I also came to realize that sometimes when I felt so broken, that it was in those moments where I found my way forward.  It almost took the millions of pieces I had become before I could begin to piece life back together.

In fact, I think for the junk in life I no longer needed, the pieces had to break.  It was the only way out for the stuff that was no longer useful.  If I hadn't broken into many pieces, I would have held on to the things forever.  In the end, I would not have made it without going through this step.

While I know, it isn't easy when your life has been shattered.  I know it is difficult to see that this may result in something good.  I understand that.  However, I know in my own life, and I've got a feeling you do too, that you will make it through this.  I've got a feeling that you'll discover strength you didn't know what was present.

Even though sometimes we break into many pieces, just remember that we can always put ourselves together.  When we do this, we often find a much stronger way of piecing our life back, so we're more prepared to take on so much more in the future!

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Blog Post And Images (c) November 28, 2017, by Don Shetterly

• Permission required in writing before any part of this blog post from 11/28/17 is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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In The Little Steps We Heal

Written By Don Shetterly

When you've been through sexual abuse, rape, and trauma, healing isn't fun.  Often times it can be overwhelming, to say the least, to figure out how to feel or if you really want to go through the journey of healing.


It is in the little steps that we heal, though while the horrors are raging in our life, sometimes that is hard to remember.  While we want our life to be past all that was done to us, it isn't that simple. I know that as I look back in my own life, I see the moments come together where I was making more progress than I thought I was.

Little steps of healing seem so insignificant when we are in the middle of them.  Sometimes we feel like we've only moved an inch up a 5000-mile high mountain.  Yet, if we didn't move that inch, we would not be any further to climbing the mountain.

I Cannot Do That...

If you look at a mountain and try to picture yourself climbing it in one step, you'd probably laugh and say, "I cannot do that!"  Yet, in our healing, we try to force ourselves to do that, and then we exhaust ourselves.  We make healing into such a monumental task that we want to give up before we start.

Instead, if we looked at the mountain and allowed ourselves to climb a few feet or however far we chose to go that day, we would make major progress.  Yes, we might face rock slides, storms, and get thirsty.  Yes, it might be treacherous in moments where our feet slip.

The more we allow ourselves to climb at our own pace, taking the little steps, the further we will go. It is in the little steps of that day that we get higher and higher, further and further.

In my own life, I've been able to look back and realize that all of those little steps I was taking, whether I knew it or not, were getting me further.  They were helping me to find the authentic part of myself that I didn't know existed.

They were taking me to higher points along the path, so that now I could see things more clearly than when I was several feet back.  The vantage point and viewing changed as I went further, but I had to climb through those little steps at the beginning of the journey to see more.

Healing isn't easy.  At times, we want to give up thinking we've not gone very far.  It is in those moments that we have most likely gone much further in the journey than we realize.  If we turn back too quickly, we may miss the monumental plateau that is right ahead of us.

Honor and allow the little steps because when we do, we will find out that we are healing our lives.

In the little steps, we heal.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Lets Move Forward

This is the day of the year that everyone pauses to reflect upon their life.  Well, at least many people do this on New Year's Day.  Unfortunately, the majority of New Years Resolutions don't last and are forgotten within a few weeks of making them.  So, let's look at this differently this year.

Yes, it is good to reflect upon your life and see it for what it is.  What areas are you doing well at?  Give yourself a pat on the back.  What areas are you doing poorly at?  How can you start doing something today that will impact your weak areas?

It isn't just about physical activity, although that seems to be one of the main ones.  It could be about how you deal with stress or maybe the lack of dealing with stress in life.  No, dealing with stress is not about drinking alcohol.  It's learning how to go in and let go of those moments that build up in a day.  To ignore them, it not dealing with it.  Sorry, if that bursts your thought bubble.  Sometimes a thought bubble needs to be burst though.

Have you confronted them...

Sometimes there are things that we've been through in our life.  For some, it seems like they get an extra dosage of moments that they would love to forget.  If you have those moments, how are you dealing with those?  Have you looked at them and confronted them?  Are you healing them and moving forward in life?

It is easy to say we've healed everything in our life, but often we are just disconnecting and numbing to all that we find difficult to deal with from our past.  Hey, we've all got issues to work on and that's part of being human.  To deny and ignore them doesn't get you too far though.  Take it from someone that had to learn the hard way through Conversion Disorder.

How can we move forward...

Maybe instead of making grandiose New Year's Resolutions today, let's take a look and see how we can move forward.  What is the most pressing issue?  What one thing can you do starting today to make a change and improve your life?  How will you do this?  Who will help keep you accountable and encourage you?  How likely and how willing are you to do this?

Most people need at minimum, three months to make a behavior change in their life.  It may take up to six months to lock the behavior change in so it becomes a part of your life.  Sometimes you need a health coach or trusted friend to help you through this that will keep you motivated.

If we repeat the same things...

For years, we have often done some unhealthy behaviors that have created our life as we know it.  The only thing is, if we keep repeating these things, we're going to get the same result.  You can't expect a different outcome by doing the same thing over.

So, here's my offer to you.  If you know you need to work on things in your life, let me help you move forward.  No, I'm not offering this for any compensation at this moment.  This offer is free and its on the table.  I just became a certified health coach and am trying to figure out how to implement what I've learned.  I'll accept the first 5 people that contact me totally free and without charge.  I'm looking for people are ready to change.

Let's move forward together.  Contact me by email and we'll work on some questions and plans and then I'll help be your encouragement.  I'll help be the cheer leader for what you want to accomplish.  Don't contact me, if you're not ready to change because that would just waste my time and yours.  I don't mean that to sound harsh as I'm trying to protect and honor my time effectiveness.

Together and united we can move forward.  Sometimes on our own, we're not always strong enough, but with the help of someone in our corner, we can do great things.  I hope to hear from you.  All emails are confidential of course.

Here's to a great New Year of moving forward in life!

#MovingForward

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Getting Rid Of Roadblocks In Life

One of the things that I have learned is that it isn't always easy to move past things in life.  Getting rid of roadblocks in life can be quite a challenge.  Of course, I'm not telling you anything you probably don't already know, but hopefully I'll share some things that have worked for me.

The roadblocks that stand in front of us in life are there to help us.  Really, I know - it probably doesn't feel that way, but its true.  The more we face, the more we see things differently in life and understand things that the average person does not.  Yet, I fully understand the frustration in dealing with all of this and wondering how to move past it.

When dealing with blocks in life, it is important to allow yourself to be there with them in peace.  As hard as it may be for you to be at one with them, the more you allow them to overpower you, the more power they hold over you.  The more power they hold over you, the more they rob you of precious strength to make the changes you need to in life.  Hence, allow yourself to be there with them in peace.

The blocks in life are going to come up at various points.  You can guarantee that they will show up.  It is up to each person individually as to what they do with theses things.  The part that will hold us down is the part where we give our power over to these moments.

Will The Doors Ever Open?

Sometimes I wonder if the doors will ever open? I know deep down I am walking the path that I need to walk, yet it appears that the doors just are walls as I move along. It can get discouraging at times and really make me question if I am where I think I am.

However, events happen in our life that help cement and shed light on our path and show us that doors may be opening up around us. Many weeks ago, I remember pulling one of my angel cards on the iphone app (by Doreen Virtue). It said something to the effect and I'm paraphrasing that opportunities are coming my way but may occur different than I would expect them. I thought, okay that sounds nice and wonderful but well, I really can't see it. So in a way, I just dismissed it.

Then today, a couple of things happened that really gave me a glimpse into some doors opening. If I had not gone and done a few things lately that I have done, than this moment would not have occurred in the way it did. The events are completely different and are not remotely close but yet they were both traveling in the same direction. If you would have looked at each event independently, you would have not seen any connection.

It was very helpful and encouraging to have these things unfold a little today. More importantly, it was good to see them unfold in a bigger and broader manner. After seeing doors that looked like brick walls, it warms the soul to see a open ones appear. It is a moment that I am marking down as I walk my path so I will not forget it. It is a moment that I will use to help move myself forward and in many ways, that is the most important part.



Blog Post & Images (c) 2/23/11 Don Shettrly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Check Your Anger At The Door

The other day, I had a job where I was working with a customer and delivering new laptops to the various people in the organization. While most people were more than happy to get their new laptops, there is always the problem child. No matter what you give some people, they will resist through fear of getting something new. When they resist, it is not uncommon for them to push back and become difficult to work with.

While I am quite aware that this will happen, one individual pushed my buttons the other day in a very big way. Imagine having a roomful of 50 or more people coming in to get their laptops and a limited number of techs on hand to make sure all questions were answered. There was a short amount of time that these people were going to be there. One of the first individuals that I got to work with was a man that either was having a bad day or is normally a very angry person.

Asking an innocent question if he needed help, unleashed a furry of words and actions that left me dumbfounded and surprised. No matter what I tried to do or how I tried to help him, he just lit into me as if I was the lightening rod for all his anger. He did this as he assured me that he normally doesn't get this upset and frustrated. As my eyes rolled at that statement, he continued to berate and scream at me. At one point he picked the laptop up and I thought I was going to have to duck because that thing was going to be sailing at me.

Normally, I am pretty good about diffusing situations like this. If I would have had more time to spend just with him, I would have let him unload on me but time was limited and I could not do that. Regardless of what I did or how I tried to show him I cared, he just continued with his tirade. Finally, I went and got someone higher up in the organization and asked them to deal with him because I needed to move on to other people. Unfortunately, they were not able to deal with him either as he just continued his tirade on everyone that was in the room.

After we got a break, I made my exit outside and just breathed and found my center point again because that was a very intense moment. It was extremely stressful and affected the rest of my day. The day actually went longer than expected so by the time I got home I was very exhausted. This was after 13.5 hours from the previous day.

It made me sad for the gentleman though, that he felt he needed to do this to someone else. Maybe he wasn't even in touch with himself in what he was doing and maybe there were other things going on in his life. It wasn't fair to me or others in the room. We were there trying to help and assist, not to be emotionally beat up.

What makes a person lose it in this way? What gives another person the right to emotionally beat up on others? I witnessed events like this all my life and there have been times that I've lost it through holiday seasons or other triggering events. It saddens me when I think of those times. I've been working very hard to release things in my life and rid the source of the anger so that I don't continue any of these things on.

My heart went out to this gentleman. He was actually a sales person in this company and I could not help but wonder how he comes across to people. There is so much anger in our world and like this gentleman, it often spills over into all areas of our world. All you have to do is turn the radio or TV on and see this person or that person screaming out in an angry tone to force others to believe what they think is right. In fact, if you get into the political realm of our country, you see the anger portrayed as "passion" and if you watch other countries, you see the anger spill over into violence and uprising.

I'm not disputing the validity of these events but I am trying to get everyone to see that so much of our communication in this world is from a point of anger. It is not healthy for ourselves or for others and yet it is practiced as the norm in humanity every day. Passion and discussion of ideas is one thing but when anger is introduced into the scenario, we begin to erode the respect away that we have for others and for ourselves.

Anger is a valid emotion but there is a time and place for it. In the scenario above, too many computer techs experience the anger that is not checked at the door. After several years of dealing with it, the computer techs get to the point of saying, whatever and losing some of that passion they have for the job. As many techs may joke, they are a psychologist, punching bag and superman all rolled up into one package. I remember one president expecting me to get an AT&T satellite working so he could have a video conference call. I remember the time this same President of the company called me an idiot in front of a roomful of company employees because the power point projector would not work. There is a time and place but we all need to be mindful of that time and place as well as the person on the receiving end. If we value the other person so little, we value ourselves to the same degree.

Each of us needs to find our own outlet for anger and frustration that we experience in life. It is never okay to take it out on any other human or animal or even ourselves. The healthy thing is to get to the source of it and find ways to release it and let it go.

So the next time you find yourself ready to lash out at someone through your own misdirected anger, realize that they are not the ones that deserve. Yes, if they are the source of it, assertively find a way to confront them, but check your anger at the door. You can assertively confront someone without losing your temper and going ballistic.

We are all on this planet to build a civilization that uplifts and encourages each other. Let us not tear it down by living our life out of anger but one of seeing the good in each other and ourselves. There is a time for anger but not at the expense of someone else.



Blog Post & Images (c) 2/16/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Give A Smiley Project

Today, I am launching a new project called "Give A Smiley Project". There are so many negative events happening in our days and our lives, that I just wanted to see if this small little idea could take off and really impact everyone in the world in a positive way. I have no idea what will happen but it all starts with passing a smile along to someone who has impacted our life. I won't give anymore details away here right now because you can read all about it on my website. For more information, go to http://www.smileyproject.com. There is nothing to buy, no spam and it is just something that will hopefully give you a smile.

While I'm launching this idea on the web, it is meant to be something personal that is given face to face or through the mail. The internet is fine and allows many close connections, but this is something that is much greater than that. It allows a more personal connection in this endeavor.

Please share this with your friends and pass it on!