In The Little Steps We Heal

Written By Don Shetterly

When you've been through sexual abuse, rape, and trauma, healing isn't fun.  Often times it can be overwhelming, to say the least, to figure out how to feel or if you really want to go through the journey of healing.


It is in the little steps that we heal, though while the horrors are raging in our life, sometimes that is hard to remember.  While we want our life to be past all that was done to us, it isn't that simple. I know that as I look back in my own life, I see the moments come together where I was making more progress than I thought I was.

Little steps of healing seem so insignificant when we are in the middle of them.  Sometimes we feel like we've only moved an inch up a 5000-mile high mountain.  Yet, if we didn't move that inch, we would not be any further to climbing the mountain.

I Cannot Do That...

If you look at a mountain and try to picture yourself climbing it in one step, you'd probably laugh and say, "I cannot do that!"  Yet, in our healing, we try to force ourselves to do that, and then we exhaust ourselves.  We make healing into such a monumental task that we want to give up before we start.

Instead, if we looked at the mountain and allowed ourselves to climb a few feet or however far we chose to go that day, we would make major progress.  Yes, we might face rock slides, storms, and get thirsty.  Yes, it might be treacherous in moments where our feet slip.

The more we allow ourselves to climb at our own pace, taking the little steps, the further we will go. It is in the little steps of that day that we get higher and higher, further and further.

In my own life, I've been able to look back and realize that all of those little steps I was taking, whether I knew it or not, were getting me further.  They were helping me to find the authentic part of myself that I didn't know existed.

They were taking me to higher points along the path, so that now I could see things more clearly than when I was several feet back.  The vantage point and viewing changed as I went further, but I had to climb through those little steps at the beginning of the journey to see more.

Healing isn't easy.  At times, we want to give up thinking we've not gone very far.  It is in those moments that we have most likely gone much further in the journey than we realize.  If we turn back too quickly, we may miss the monumental plateau that is right ahead of us.

Honor and allow the little steps because when we do, we will find out that we are healing our lives.

In the little steps, we heal.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Healing Progress And Then I Slipped Back

A common question I've seen come through applies to many that I've seen go through the healing process.  I'm sharing this tonight in hopes that it will help further the understanding of what the healing process is.  These are questions that we need to keep open in discussion so that we all can learn and grow.

The question that I received recently is about someone that has made considerable progress in healing and then felt like they slipped back.  So here's the question.

I felt like I was headed in the right direction and made progress, but then I slipped back.  Will I ever heal and get past all of the stuff I'm dealing with?  I feel like I went from 100% to 60%.

Here is my answer in regards to healing and Unified Therapy work.

Most of the time when we go through intense healing work, we come out of some of those experiences feeling like we are riding on cloud nine. It could almost be like climbing a mountain.  You got your first great glimpse of all that is out there.  So, in many ways, you're climbing through the mountain range.  It may mean you get to hike for awhile on the ridge and you can see for miles, but at some point to keep going, you head back down into the valley to go up the next mountain range.

Feeling about 60% would seem normal in my mind.  In fact, I doubt you could stay that high up for very long.  The important thing to remember though is that allow the 60% part to be okay.  Do the breath work, movements - the things you all worked on that have helped - and it will pass.

Surrender into it and ask it what it is trying to show you or teach you or help you see.  That might not be real easy at first and believe me, sometimes I resist rather than surrender.  It is part of the process because it teaches us and it helps prepare us for the next stage of growth, awareness, consciousness.  It may not even be identifiable at this moment, but that's okay - just let it be there knowing that the more you surrender into it, the more it will dissipate and pass.

Going through this healing work, we are inviting in an inner consciousness that is always there and giving it life.  It is a step by step process just like learning to walk.  When we've been shut off to it as long as we have, it doesn't wake up completely all at one time.  It comes in stages so that we can handle it.  If we tried to wake up fully all at one time, it would be overwhelming and that gets pretty tough.

There will be good days and days that aren't as easy.  Even with all the work I've done, it doesn't mean my life sails by in a calm fashion - I get the calmness and peace, but I also get the rough choppy waters.  The thing is, I know that even when the waters of life get rough, I can remember that there is a place of calmness and peace within me.  Sometimes it helps me to recall what it felt like on the table.

I use the Resperate to help me go into deeper breathing.  It took me some time to get accustomed to using it and how to use it.  Now though, in 15 minutes - I can really bring myself down with the breath work and with connecting physically.  I never used to be able to do that on my own.  It's a more recent development.

Its okay to feel like things dropped back.  Sometimes I think we need it. It is like sitting down after a long hike to rest but when you do, your legs feel the tiredness of the hike.  It isn't that there is anything wrong with your legs feeling tired, but they just need time to rest so you can continue the hike.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Angry At Your Doctor Or Therapist

I see this time and time again and it breaks my heart.  While I realize there are some medical professionals that probably fail their patients, there are many patients who fail their medical professionals.  I'm not saying everyone is like that, but I've seen many situations where this is true.

Calling your doctor a nut or a stupid or making rude remarks at them is not going to help you or them get to a better situation.  If you hate the doctor or medical professional that much, maybe its time to find someone that you like.  Not all medical professionals match with patients because like anything in life, it is a relationship.  If the relationship doesn't work, the medical professional isn't going to be good for you.

One thing I've seen though is how people want to go into a doctor or therapist and expect them to do all the healing work for the person.  It is like, walk into their office and expect the doctor and therapist to magically make everything better.  If you view medical people in this way, you may want to rethink this approach.

Sometimes we only go part way...

They can only work with you to the extent that you are willing to work with them.  Too many people will only go part way or fail to do what is suggested after they leave the medical office.  It is like, great suggestion doc or therapist, but well, life got busy.  I forgot to do whatever it was you suggested that I do.  Please fix me though.  I may sound harsh to patients but it is sad when you see this.

Yes, I know that sometimes doctors and therapists don't work out either.  This is a discussion you need to have with your medical provider.  Be honest with them and let them be honest with you.  You're not going to get anywhere if you hate them and they are frustrated with you.

I went through Conversion Disorder and while I didn't have the internet to search and see what it was about, I learned that I had to trust my doctor in the beginning.  He wanted me to get better and he was applying his knowledge and training in the best way that he could.  In the very early days, I was not even aware of the actual diagnosis.  My doctor and I were more concerned about helping me get past the physical issues and enter life in the healthiest and most normal way that I could.

I learned to ask the right questions...

Some days it required me to have patience.  It often required that I learned to ask the questions that I needed to ask so that I understood what was going on.  It required me to not think that I knew it all, but open myself up to possibilities that may not be thoughts in my brain at that time.

Sometimes we are so busy fighting the doctor thinking we know it all, but we forget that we are in a physical situation that we cannot control.  This is why we have sought medical help and if we treat the medical professionals with contempt and in a rude way, how will this help us?

I feel for doctors and therapists because I have had the same thing happen to me in massage work.  I've had clients look at me like I was crazier than a looney nutcase!  Yet, I knew from experience that what I was trying to accomplish would work.  It would help.  If the patient fights you at every turn, there is only so much you can do.

Give up all that you know...

I have said this many times but in order to heal, you often have to give up all that you think you know and find out what it is that you don't know.  When we face physical situations, there is something that is missing and we can either fight against finding out what that is, or we can open our minds up to all possibilities.

The choice is for each person to make.  Some patients will gladly pursue the unknown possibilities and others will not.  At the end of the day, you can only hope that you have a qualified medical professional helping you and that your desire to want to get better is more than words.

This also requires the medical professionals to know when they are not making progress and either find a new course or bring in someone that maybe can help.  It requires medical professionals to step outside of their own paradigms because some effective form of healing may be just around the corner.

Find the right doctor or therapist for you...

At the end of the day, we all have to work together.  We need to form a good relationship between the patient and medical provider.  If that does not exist, then it is time to move on and find the right relationship that will help you heal.  It may also mean, changing your approach to the medical professional and surrendering to their assistance to follow their advice.

I don't write any of this out of malice because I know when you're in the middle of horrific, painful, and life-altering situations, there is no easy moment.  There is no moment that makes this clear.  I'm just asking you, the reader, to look at things differently.  See beyond what you see and know and feel to be true.  That's where you will find the answers!

You may want to check out a blog post I wrote last year on Challenge Your Healing Paradigm.

(click image to read)

Question Of The Day

Are you allowing yourself to see all possibilities in your own healing?  Leave a comment below to share your take on all of this or what you have learned.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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See Your Progress

We are constantly moving through life even if it sometimes doesn't feel like it.  We're growing and learning and changing.  Maybe we don't see it right now and we don't feel it, but it is there.  Just look and see your progress.

I think others cross our paths to help us grow and find our way while we do the same for people we meet along the way.  It is cool to look at that in this way because it means we need each other along all the changes and growth we go through.  We need each other to help us progress along life's journey.

Even in the moments that we may feel like we haven't gotten very far, just wait a few more moments and then take a look back over your shoulder.  I've got a feeling you will see things differently and see the progress you have made.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/3/16 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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