I Don't Want To Say Goodbye

Photo by Margaret Bland

When I encounter moments that are difficult for me to comprehend, I usually turn to writing words on a page.  This is one such moment.  I lost a dear friend of mine just last night.  I'm in disbelief.  There is no easy way to make sense of it.  I don't want to say goodbye.

He was one of those people to me that was in my inner circle.  I don't let too many people in to the degree I did with my friend.  We could talk about anything.  I never felt judged.  I never felt like I had to feel or be or act a certain way.  I could just be myself.  I could just be whatever I felt like in that moment with my friend.

He was there with me through many a rough moment in my life.  When family issues would arise, he was there with an open ear, a heart of compassion, and his presence.  When my Grandmother passed away and I was afraid to go because of family issues, he made the trip with me.


When I was moving from a horrible job and location to Miami and I could barely function or make it out of the place, he flew up there and helped me pick up my life and make it to my new one.  I was so weak at that moment, that without him being there, I don't know what I would have done.

There were times that we just hung out and laughed and got silly and talked about the difficult moments of life as we reminded ourselves of the good moments.  There were times that we pondered why life sent along the difficulties, only to realize we could never find the answers.  There were times that we just shared stuff with each other that I'm sure no one else ever knew.

I don't quite remember how our friendship grew so strong in the early days, but I remember many of the events that I now cherish.  My friend was there for me in ways that not many are.  I could call him up at any time and he was there.  I could say, "let's hang out" and he was there.

My friend cherished those close to him and loved them dearly no matter what.  He would make you smile, make you laugh and just give you a moment of escape from the moments in life that sometimes seemed too difficult.

It didn't matter if we had not spoken in many days, it was nothing for us to pick up the phone and just continue on as if it was yesterday when we last spoke.  I had felt a sense of urgency to go see him and had actually planned a trip.  Unfortunately I got sick and had to postpone the trip.  The trip came to late.

There are some people that come through our life and really touch us.  There are however some people like my friend that leave a big imprint upon your life.  There are some that become closer than family ever was to me.  My friend, David, was one such person.  He is irreplaceable.  He has left a hole in my heart. 

I will miss you David.  These words that I write are insufficient to share just how much your life impacted mine and in ways you'll probably never know.  May we all learn to give of our self to others in this world like David gave to me.  May we all see life through the eyes of accepting others like David did to me.  May that be the memory that lives on in the years to come.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/16/15 by Don Shetterly

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