Stand Opposed

Written By Don Shetterly

These days it feels like everyone hates one another.  I'm not sure there is anything but hatred these days.  So much is shared online of how we should love one another.  We say it to those who agree with us, but the premise remains the same.

If you're not in a specific thought bubble on whatever subject it is on, then somehow you're a bad person.  You're wrong and stupid and all the other adjectives that one could list here.  That's how it is portrayed online each and every day.

It isn't just about one subject that gets screamed about every day.  I've seen it lately from things that you wouldn't expect it to things that do not seem to be controversial.  As I've found, don't you dare disagree because you are the one that will be outcast.

Far too much of this comes from those who don't want to discuss issues but think everything they say is right (and all others are wrong).  Much of this comes from those who profess love and acceptance of everyone, but give them an online comment and they will get down in the mud pit with everyone else.

See, I think these statements about love, acceptance, and rising above everyone is just codeword for you don't agree with me and I don't want to talk to you.  I may be wrong, but I see more and more evidence of this.

If we just stand opposed on every subject under the sun, then how does that make us a civilization?  How are we a part of the human experience if we only want to hear the things that we agree within a day?

Sure, everyone says they want this, but far too few actually put it into action.  Remember when you get down in the mud pit of life and wrestle with everyone, no one can tell you apart.  Everyone in the mud pit looks like the other.

We've got enough issues in this world and to create more just for the sake of screaming along with the crowd, that's not being human.  In fact, that is ego driven in my view.  It is born out of fear that overtakes a person.  Human is a long ways off.

I wish this world would jam the gear in reverse, but I'm afraid we're going to go through some painful experiences before things reverse.  No one cares about one another these days (unless it is someone in your own tribe).  No one knows how to show respect for each other.  Yes, they can spout off memes, thoughts, and bible verses showing how loving and compassionate they are.

Maybe we just need to step back and see how we respond to situations.  Have you really looked at what you say and do?  Is it truly done out of respect, or is it hateful and spiteful?

The other day, I had an exchange with someone and I'll let you read what happened when instead of being sarcastic or spiteful, a simple reply with respect changed the course of a day.  It can be that simple, but first, we have to get it right within ourselves.  The following tweet was just part of the conversation that helped change the course of the day with another individual.

If you want to practice #Kindness - think about the responses you make to social media postings, videos, and news. If you can't practice kindness in those moments, do you truly understand what it means to be kind?

— Don Shetterly (@mindbodythought) November 14, 2018

The person responded

LOL thank u Don, for I have certainly roasted couple severals of people to a charred crisp. While I think they deserve it, they also deserve love/compassion. So today is that day I'm sending it out to them & ALL, including you. I don't know u, but I love u for the person u are.

To which I said,

One day is better than nothing.  

Sometimes just a different response can mean so much to the whole world.  May we all try to give a different response - one that is respectful, compassionate, and kind.

Lip Service Compassion

Written By Don Shetterly

Lip service compassion seems to be the norm these days.  It is pretty awful how humans are treating one another.  Everyone claims it is the other people that do this, but they fail to see their role.

You've got the ones that have their beliefs and nothing is going to change them.  They shout their beliefs and views from the mountaintops, caring little what others think.  They believe they are right and everyone else needs to see their way of looking at everything in life.  It is nothing more than lip service compassion.

There are those that get up and scream at everyone thinking that all of the noise is horrible.  While that may sound great, there are far too many that only give it lip service compassion.  They want everyone to see things in their view and they will not entertain anyone else's thoughts, especially when they go against their beliefs.

You will also see people who feel they do have it right and might be closer to being human, but then they go out and start screaming to the world how stupid everyone is.  If you try to suggest you do not want to be part of the screaming, they tell you how privileged you are.  In their mind, they are noble, but it is nothing more than lip service compassion for the world.

I don't care what subject it is, there will be people that will take offense to whatever you say.  If you said there was a rock on the sidewalk, some would claim it should be there.  Some would claim it should not be there and others would not see it.  All the while, everyone would act as if they were right and everyone else is wrong.

At this point, I'm so tired of hearing the screaming disguised as lip service compassion.  No one is changing anyone's mind because everyone is screaming rather than listening.

The holidays are a time when we come together to give thanks for all we have along with those we love.  It is a time when we celebrate peace and joy on earth.  Unfortunately, our lives don't give proof to what we say.  We practice nothing more than lip service compassion.

If you find yourself blaming some group of people or political difference, they aren't the problem.  You are!  If you find yourself demanding that others are wrong and they only need to listen to you, then you're the problem.  When you spend more of your time pointing out the faults in others, they aren't the ones to blame.  You are!

Of course, only you can change what happens.  No one else can make you into a compassionate person especially if you don't truly see yourself.  No one else can make you change your behavior because that is solely up to you.

We as a world, need to stop the lip service compassion.  We need to find a way to embrace one another as fellow travelers on this journey called life.  If we keep standing opposed and self-righteous to one another, we will not make it.  If we think we have the answers and everyone else is wrong, we're adding to the horror this world faces.

It is time for us to wake up as a people and stop lip service compassion towards one another.

Blinded To Heart Felt Compassion

Written By Don Shetterly

Lately, I've seen a pattern online.  I see how much people proclaim they are enlightened, smarter, better, more aware and more conscious.  In all reality, are they what they claim to be?

They will tell you that they are what they claim, but when you read their social media responses and postings, it leaves a lot to be desired.  You can quickly see that what they say, does not match up with what they do.

Of course, many will write some flowery responses as if they know what is going on and you don't.  When that happens, I can see through it from a million miles away.

It always amazes me how much people will condescendingly tell you, their thoughts after reading only a few words in something you share online.  They might not even read the link that corresponds to it, but it doesn't stop them from enlightening you on their thoughts.

There are so many times I see replies preaching to me about how I need to live my life.  Yet, the person doesn't know me.  They don't know what I've been through.  Often, they don't know what I'm struggling with at this moment.  It does not stop them though.  They must enlighten you with their response.

A long time ago, I found that instead of telling others what they should do, share with them how you've dealt with the same situation.  Let them know, what worked for you and what didn't!  Tell them the pitfalls you found along the way.  Make sure you share with them how difficult it was and how maybe at times you almost gave up.

Telling other people what you think they should do, causes undue stress to them.  It shows you really don't care what they are going through because you make it about what you have experienced.

When someone is struggling and hurting, the last thing they need is someone interjecting their misguided unresolved issues on them.  Yes, we may think we're doing something good, but turn the tables around on yourself.

Remember back to when you struggled with a difficult thing and what would your reaction have been?  No, don't go easy here on yourself and give yourself a pass.  Really be brutally honest with yourself, and I've got a feeling, if someone else told you what you're telling them, you wouldn't appreciate it.  It wouldn't be as helpful as you think it is.

When people are struggling and hurting and walking through the fire, they need to know there's a point beyond where they are at.  They need to know that if they reach out when they start to fall, someone will be there with a hand to help steady them.

Of course, if you have not healed yourself, then this will be hard to do.  In fact, I believe that there are so many wounded people walking around acting as if they are enlightened when in fact, they have not healed themselves.  You don't' have to be fully recovered to help others, but you need to be walking the path.  These days though, we claim we are, but we don't have much to show for it.

At the end of the day, learn how to truly be there for others with heartfelt compassion.  Learn how to engage your own feelings and emotions, not make yourself out to be a robot who has none.  Be human and be authentic because people can relate to that, much more than if you start telling them how they should think, feel, or live.

Before you think you don't do this, my guess is that you do.  It is so prevalent on social media and in real life these days, that most can no longer see it.  It is no longer obvious to them.  Their eyes have become blinded by their own thoughts, pain, and unhealed experiences of the past.

Be more than you are!  Connect with people from your heart.  People hurting and in pain will be able to see through what you are shoveling out the door.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly

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Buck Up or Man Up!

Written by Don Shetterly

This topic gets under my skin so quickly.  When I hear someone tell me or another person to "BUCK UP or MAN UP" I want to do some things that are not nice thoughts.  How anyone can be this inconsiderate and  not compassionate is beyond my wildest comprehension of humanity.

To say these things to anyone is very harmful and shows you know very little about what someone is going through.  It is degrading and toxic.  It is spitting in their face from what they are going through in their life.

Why people do this, I'll never understand!  It is far from human and just about as mean as one could get.  It is almost like someone is trying to push you over the cliff thinking they are doing something good for you.  With friends like this, who needs enemies!

We don't know how to respect one another...

Yes, I understand that in this day and age, we have no clue what it means to be human.  We don't know how to respect one another.  We don't know how to have compassion and love for one another.

All we seem to know how to do is spout off nonsense and tear each other apart.  We have no concept of what empathy means or compassion.  We just have to force our beliefs and opinions of what we think is helpful on to every person around us.  This is not being human.  It is far from that concept!

Often times we tell others what we should be telling ourselves.  Yet, we're so unconscious that we can't even see what we are doing. What comes out of our mouth is not meant to be toxic poison on another person.  It is meant for us to say to ourselves or reconcile to what is truly helpful.

Two Ears and ONE mouth...

We were given one mouth and two ears.  We should really use them in an appropriate amount but for some reason, we as humans in this world think that we have to talk twice as much as we listen.  This could not be further from the truth.

When someone is going through a difficult moment, it is not up to you to have the answers.  Sometimes just listening to them can be the biggest help.  By listening to them, I mean using your ears more than your mouth.  Sorry, if this sounds harsh, but it is time we had some wake-up calls in this world.

Heaping more stress on someone...

Saying BUCK UP or MAN UP does nothing for anyone.  You just end up heaping a little more stress on a person when you do this.  You should that you're not that compassionate and you really don't care about what they are going through.  You are more interested in telling them what YOU think they should do.

Telling someone to BUCK UP or MAN UP is like hitting them with a car, then backing up and driving over them again.   If you don't think it is as harmful as this, try going through a very difficult ordeal in your life and see what it feels like when someone does this to you.

We've got to learn how to be more compassionate with people.  We are past the point of no return and every day we share and retweet what we do, we're proving that beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Every time we tell others what we think as if it was the truth, we're degrading all of humanity into something that means nothing.

It isn't all the other people out there with the problem.  It is each one of us and how we react, what we share and say to people we know and the world that is the problem.  Let's talk from our heart with love, not scream words our ego dictates to us.  If we change how we communicate and how we see others, we will improve the world many times over.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Open Your Mouth and Remove All Doubt

(Written By Don Shetterly)

Some days I wonder about people.  I really do.  I try to see people as a body that has a pure center of light and love within them.  Some people challenge me hard on that, and while I try to let it go, it gets to me.

I offered support to some people the other day, and of course got one of the "unconscious" statements, wanting to wave a magic wand.  We've all seen that.  We've seen the ridiculous comments that do nothing to help support others.

A long time ago, I learned that sometimes you can be silent and make people wonder, or you can open your mouth and remove all doubt.  In social media, we often open our mouths when maybe we shouldn't, and by doing so, we remove all doubt.

We should help one another...

We are humans!  We should be helping one another to survive on this challenging planet we call home.  We should be working to evolve our own consciousness so that we can be there for others.  Everyone needs everyone because life can be difficult in the best of the time and downright be exhausting at other times.

Yes, I know that there are a lot of wounded people walking this planet.  These wounded people are the vocal ones telling everyone else what they should do while forgetting that they need to heal themselves.  Yes, I understand that is asking a lot, but when the "you should do this" comes out, you're really not helping anyone.

People need someone to listen and be there for them.  They need people who have walked through the fires of their own lives so they can help them go through it on their own.  We need people who genuinely know what support is, where you can see it as evidence through their actions and words.

Just to open your mouth unconsciously does no good.  In fact, you often inflict further wounds upon people.  You make it harder for them.  They are already struggling to hang on, but with some of the things that get said, it is like you're pushing them over the cliff.

When we open our mouths, let us make sure we are helping someone from the heart.  Let us not be the person that removes all doubt and leaves people struggling harder than before we came along in their path.  Let's be people that help each other and leave others in a better place than before we opened our mouths.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Fake Care For Others

Written By Don Shetterly

One of the things I've seen lately just blows my mind to pieces about humanity.  I call it "fake care for others."   Maybe I'm too harsh.  Perhaps I'm expecting too much.  Unfortunately, I think you are either human or you're not.

I've had so many people email, text, or message me before the hurricane.  Many of them I had not heard from in months or years.  It got so hectic right before the storm hit that I could barely keep up.  I thought, wow - it is nice that they care and they wrote me.

Unfortunately, I had some that got so frantic about the storm that even as I was trying to stay strong and brave, I started to worry.  I was trying to prepare for its arrival, but the frantic messages were making things much more challenging.

Then as quickly as the media spun the storm into devastation for all (and no, I'm not downplaying its impact), the comments and care and concern faded almost in an instant.  It seemed almost like a fake care for myself and others.  If it isn't sensationalized drama playing out, then it doesn't exist.

This is not how humans should behave.  Either you genuinely care for others, or you don't.  You don't act like you do when you're worried, but allow the fakeness to show through when things are real.  You find ways to help encourage and support, not let your frantic worries pull others down.

I had to stop reading the messages and emails and texts because it was more than I could handle.  Not knowing what the storm would do or how bad it would get was enough to handle.  Not knowing if the house would be standing after it was more stress than I could take.  Hearing the winds howl and the tornadoes hover around was frightening.

Of course, just as quickly as the supportive comments came before the storm, there was no follow up afterwards.  There was no time given to what we were facing.  If there was, I had to convince people that without power, I couldn't respond much.  I had to convince people that with weak cell service, it was draining our batteries and making communication difficult.

I tried to respond to everyone, but many just wrote me off.  I guess the media spin on the storm must have been dying out.

It makes me sad to see how we treat one another as humans.  I don't want to see photo ops and grandstanding after a storm.  It does nothing for me because, in the days following, you're trying to pick up the pieces and survive.

Sitting in 90 plus degree afternoons with humidity at more than 80% and hardly any air moving outside is excruciatingly difficult.  Trying to sleep in it is almost a futile exercise.  Not knowing when you're going to get power back is frustrating.  Each day you're without electricity feels like a year that you've sat there without the everyday basics we are so accustomed to in life.

We need to have a genuine care for others.  We need to learn how to respect and support one another, not interject our own fears on others fighting through an experience that makes their feet and legs tremble.

Fake care for others helps no one.  It is like forcing them to take the knife and inflict more pain upon themselves.  Maybe if you've not been through any storm like a hurricane, you have no idea what it is like.

However, don't be "fake" about it.  Try to be supporting and caring and understanding.  Fake care gets you nowhere.  Genuine care and support help keep the world moving along.

Please don't think I'm saying that all my friends and contacts did this.  Most of the ones that did were people I rarely hear from these days, or organizations that only seemed to care because of where I lived.  To the people that were supportive, I say thank you.  It was a rough experience.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Pushing The Limits With Compassion

Most of the time, I tend to ruffle the feathers so to speak.  Yep, I push the envelope with what I write and tweet and share on social media.  I try to do it with compassion, but I really want people to think and think deeply.

Far too many times we're in this mind-numbed state in our world.  Reality is often not reality.  News is often not news.  What we see and hear in a day is not necessarily authentic or real or legitimate.

We tend to swallow up stuff that matches what we believe and feel and think about rather than allowing ourselves to be challenged beyond our comfort zone.  We often get to a point where we are comfortable with where we are and we make the choice to not push further.

I often think of the pioneers from the wild west days.  If they would not have been adventurous and challenged their own safety, think of where we would be today.  It took them leaving behind everything they knew and everything that was familiar to discover some pretty awesome potential.  Yes, it came with many pitfalls, including death.

Since we were given no owner manual when we were born, the only way we learned to walk was by trying to take a step.  It is said that walking is nothing more than controlled falling.  If we would have sat there in the safety of the floor and not learned how to walk, we would have limited our life in so many ways.

Challenging beliefs in history...

If you look back down through history and see some of the horrendous beliefs that were held centuries ago, we can probably be very happy that we challenged thoughts and ideas and belief systems.  If not, we'd still be trying to drain the "humors" (blood) out of people thinking it was bad stuff inside of them.

In this day and age, we buy into the flashy snake-oil salesman and while they may be giving us nothing more than an elixir, we think it is the most healing thing we have ever seen.  Okay, maybe that moment is need to discover the next, but if we continue to drink the elixir, we'll probably not discover all that there is to discover.

Easy to become complacent...

It is easy to become complacent in life and subscribe to that which backs up our belief systems and thoughts and paradigms.  However, when we do that, we put so many limits on ourselves in what we can become and where we can go.  Unfortunately, it is all part of the human experience.  What you do with it though is a choice you make every minute of your life, even if it is unconscious.

So many of our modern day healing paradigms don't serve us fully.  We repackage them and regurgitate them, but we really don't take a hard look at the truth within them.  We come up with a verbage that convinces others, but in all reality, many things don't pass the challenge test.

I write from my experience...

When I write, I write to challenge these beliefs, thoughts, and paradigms.  Many times I am challenging them within myself or I have come through those challenging moments.  I write from my experience and through experience I share what I've learned and what I see.  Sure, I'm not perfect either - the thing is, I don't stop where I'm at.  I keep pushing forward.

If what I write or share pushes your buttons, it isn't meant to be specific to anyone.  What I write comes out of my own struggles and frustrations as I try to make sense of deeper things in life.  I'm not content with portraying the world around me as positive.  I'm more interested in helping to open up someone's awareness so that the world becomes more than just positivity.

If you have read my blog for any period of time, you'll know that I don't stick to the safe, feel good subjects.  I'm usually on the outer edges pushing people (coaxing people) to think beyond what they know.  I dislike belief systems and paradigms because while they may give you the box you need, if you're not careful, they will prevent you from seeing what it is you don't already see.

Pushing the limits with compassion - that's where I try to navigate.  It is where the most growth and potential energy sits.  It is where we learn to come alive as a human being discovering more of our fullest potential.  When we arrive at that moment, if we gaze into the horizon, we'll see that there are more worlds and lands to discover.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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We Are What We Take In

It seems like far too many humans go on autopilot these days.  I don't think they mean too, but they just do it.  It seems to be more of an unconscious action to me from what I observe.   When we do this, it keeps us from fully realizing what we take in and what we are.

We all seem to know that what we take in, we become.  It is like the old proverbial saying, "Garbage In - Garbage Out".

In fact, I remember learning that saying in a computer class where if you put garbage numbers in, don't expect something good to come out of it.

Healthy Body...

If you want a healthy body, but you put bad food in constantly and plenty of it, more than likely you're not going to get a healthy body.  If you don't read the labels and know what you're putting into your body, it is impossible to expect a healthy one.


Healthy Mind...

If you want a healthy mind, but you take in all the latest sensationalized headlines of the day, the latest bombastic political headline and all the fear that is propagated each day, the mind will definitely struggle.  You might be a little oblivious to how much it impacts you, but from observing others, I think it is pretty easy to see.


Healed Life...

If you want a healed life, but you fixate upon the horrors only, it will make it difficult.  No, I'm not saying ignore them because when you've been through trauma, ignoring it will not make it go away.  I know it isn't easy to reverse the impact of trauma on your life, but to have a healed life, you have to go in and take that control back, pushing past into and past the fear.


Peace...

If you want to have peace, but you constantly engage in the hateful rhetoric of the day, most likely you're not going to find peace.  There is far too much unconscious hate that is being spewed these days online and if you don't limit it, it will overwhelm you and take you as far away from peace as is possible.


Expanding Mind...

If you want to have an ever expanding mind, approaching life with excuses or reasons why something won't work, will keep your mind limited.  Far too often we approach new ideas and new ways of looking at things as foreign objects that are our enemies, rather than potential friends.  Yes, not every idea out there is a good one for us to explore, but if we automatically decry anything new, we're holding our mind back.


More Of A Human...

If you want to be more of a human, than it is best to learn what being a human means.  It involves respect and compassion for one another.  It involves seeing others through the eyes of love, not the darkness of hatred and fear.  Being human is more of an endeavor to realize that we are all on this planet to succeed and by working together in common bonds, we will be better than we are today.


We Are What We Take In...

We are what we take in to our body, mind, spirit, and overall existence in this world.  Even if we are unconscious of what we do every day in this regard, it is still part of us and still activity that we embrace.

It requires a conscious effort to be aware of all that we are in the mind and body, not just what we think we are.  Consciousness is born out of awareness and the more aware we become, the more fully our life shows up

In my view, it is part of the human existence to become more aware and more conscious of who we are.  It is part of our overall growth and experience.

Each day, we get the opportunity to discover a little more about the world we live in and who we are as humans.  May that process never stop and may we challenge ourselves to be more today than we were yesterday.

#Conscious

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Nobody Listens In This World

As my mom used to say to me, "we have two ears and one mouth - use them appropriately."  Yet, these days, we seem to act as if we have two mouths and one ear.  We talk more than we listen.  Listening is a part of our society that is vanishing.  Nobody listens in this world.

We are in a society that thinks everyone has to scream and rant and rave all day and every day about the latest headlines.  We're not in listening mode - we're in speaking mode.  If you observe and watch closely, you will see that no one is truly listening to each other.

I often watch little kids in public places just trying to get the attention of their parents.  They just want them to care and show that they are listening to them.  Far too often, I see the parents texting someone or glued to their phone and the poor child is feeling very neglected.

On social media, everyone wants to tell everyone what they should do it seems or how they should think.  Everyone thinks that everybody else wants to read the regurgitated rhetoric over and over throughout the day.  This not listening at all.  It is people speaking far too much and in many ways, not adding anything to our world.

Be a friend and listen...

Often people just need someone to listen.  They don't need them to formulate some meme or happy thought.  They don't need them to tell them what to do or how to think or what to say.  They just need someone to be a friend and listen.

Listening can be so healing and helpful.  It can give courage and strength to those who are struggling in difficult times.  Listening can open up a compassionate heart by removing pain that is too difficult to bear.

Listening can give courage and strength to those who may be struggling to hold on in their day.  Just the act of listening says I care and sometimes that is more than enough.

We all take listening for granted, but in communication - it is a very powerful tool.  Without listening, the words spoken between one another would have no place to land.  Without listening, we'd never understand another's point of view or their thoughts or emotions or ideas.

Listening is so important.  Let us all try to remember that we have two ears and one mouth like my mother used to say.  If we use it in that proportion, than we should be listening more than we are speaking?  How's that going in your life?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Life Is More Than A Simple Meme

Some days, things aren't as simple as we state them and some days they are.  All too often though, I see these simple one-thought memes as the answer to all life's problems.

Yeah, I get it - they probably aren't meant that way, but in many ways that is how they come across.

Don't get me wrong!  Little feel good memes can be helpful.  They can be a spot of encouragement or a little support.  They can sometimes get us through from one moment to the next.

However, sometimes they are just too simple for complex problems.  Sometimes people don't need another meme shoved in their face because they need an ear that will listen.  They need to know someone cares.

I post memes from time to time, but I also try to post content that is helpful.  I look for a balance and I try to recognize that a happy little thought can sometimes be depressing because someone just needs to know that someone cares.  A meme can sometimes be too impersonal.

In my view, I don't think memes are necessary bad, but I think we need to be careful that we don't boil life down into one simple thought.  We may not realize we are doing this, but to those that are in the mud pit of life, we can harm more than help.

As a friend tweeted to me today, let's exercise that muscle of empathy and compassion.  We're living in a very hurtful world right now and compassion is so needed.  Make sure to include it with your meme and you'll help a lot more people in the process.

And as a little side note, does the word meme look to you like the way I see it?  Me Me!

#Authentic

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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That's It - I'm Taking My Marbles

I tell you, some days I just want to scream.  Some days I just want to let it all out and never hold any of it in. 

If I did though, it wouldn't be pretty. I'd end up offending far too many and probably would be put on a list of the most wanted.

So, I try to tone it down.  I try to act civilized and human.  I try to let my compassionate and caring and sensitive side out.  I keep the leashed tiger in the box because you all don't want to see that.

Yet, the more I try to stay civilized and human, the more difficult it becomes.  I see everything but a civilized word.  No one cares what another thinks or cares about or wants.

It appears that either you think one way or you're a horrible - insert whatever label you use!  I find that disgusting.  I find it makes you as small as you're trying to make me.

Are we just not human anymore?  Are we just out to despise one another and force others to think the way we do?  Have we gotten so disconnected between our mind and our body, our heart and our brain, that we just see hatred towards one another?

Oh, I wish I had the words to help everyone stop and see what they are doing is not helpful to the civilization of this world.  I feel like my words fail to capture the full breadth of what my mind and my eyes and my heart see.

I beg for everyone to stop and say enough is enough!  No, don't say that for the others that disagree with you - say it for yourself.  We cannot expect a world of peace if we engage the same behavior we so despise.

Let us see others from the depths of our heart.  Let us feel for others the way we feel for ourselves.  Let us heal our own lives and through this we heal those around us.

Let us focus on love.  Let us engage love.  Let us show and spread love to one another.

Are We Too Busy To Acknolwedge Pain?

I see this play out every day.  It is sad really.  Are we really too busy to acknowledge the pain of others?  Is it really that tough and hard on us?

The pain is clearly evident in the world today.  People are reaching out for someone to just hear their pain and acknowledge it.  Yet, more often than not, their cries go unheard.  Their cries get pushed aside.  Their cries get laughed at with shameful humiliation.

All people want to know is, does someone care!  All they want to know is that someone is listening and someone understands the pain that they are going through.  It is as simple as that.

Yet, far too many times, someone offers them a happy thought or a positive thought or a platitude as if this is the placebo they need.  Far too many times, they just ignore someone as if they are bothering them.  Far too many times, there is a mockery of anyone that cries out in pain.

Inflicting more pain upon them...

Yes, seeing someone hurting and in pain is difficult.  Just telling people to not be negative or only be positive is inflicting more pain upon them.  It is like someone having a cut on their finger and you take a hammer and whack their finger over and over.

Are we failing that miserably in compassion and care and love?  Are we just going around with a puffed up chest and proclaiming how much we love other and how much we care, only to not even attempt to show this to anyone? We are pretty good at saying one thing but when push comes to shove, we're running as quickly away as we can.

Are we truly human?

If you can't be there for someone when they just need to know that you care, are you human?  Are you truly human?  If we can't sit with those in pain and offer a listening ear or a arm that extends with support, I'm not sure we even know what human means.

You can't say one minute that I care and I love others and I have all this love in my heart, then go on in the next minute and let your actions prove otherwise.  When people are in pain, they just need someone to acknowledge the pain.  They need to know someone cares.

It doesn't have to be a grandiose display of solving and healing their pain.  It just requires that you be there with them, holding the space for them as they find their way through that difficult moment of pain.

It is called being human to acknowledge someone's pain and right now I don't see it being practiced anywhere in our world.  It is if we just hate and despise one another while claiming we don't.

I think it is time we truly wake up and either get out of the way for others, or begin to truly learn what it means to be human.  We'll never solve the issues in the world if we only stand opposed, spouting rhetoric that is not backed up by action, real love and compassion.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I'm Right and You're Wrong

In my view, I think we all do this.  To some degree, we all think I'm right and you're wrong.  I doubt there is a person on this planet that doesn't practice this every day or at least every week.  If there is, I would like to meet them.  I believe some are better at accepting others than some people, but let's not let anyone off the hook at this moment.

You see, its easy for us to think that this is something everyone else does.  The philosophy of I'm Right and You're Wrong is so prevalent in our society that no one even is aware they do this anymore.  Look no further than politics or religion or even most relationships.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you I don't do this, because I do.  It is something I really have to watch myself on because I can quickly look at others and think they are wrong.  I sometimes get a little too high and mighty for myself.  For me, I can chalk it up to the way I was raised.  If you didn't go to our church or think like my father, you were wrong.  It has taken me years of deprogramming to let go of that narrow minded thinking I was raised in.

What I've found in my own life is that if I view others as being wrong and I'm right, then I will enjoy a miserable experience each and every day.  There is no joy in that.  There is no love in that.  There is no feeling of being at one with another, because with that thinking you separate yourself from all others.

Say it with compassion and love...

Sure, maybe there is something you know that others have not realized yet, but if you use it to look down at them or beat them with a bully stick, than do you really have something good? What if instead of using your "enlightened thought" to slap the other person, you use it to help them understand what it is that you know.  Say it with compassion and say it with love!  You'll get much further.

There are some things that just don't matter in the grand scheme of life.   Sometimes, things are insignificant in the grand scheme of life and they just don't matter.  They might matter to you, but if you compare them to the thousand years of civilization in a great big universe, do they really measure up?  It is often better to pick and choose what is important, rather than trying to apply that to every moment of every day.

Even though we grow up with certain habits and procedures, it does not mean we have the only way to do stuff in life.  Often while we hold these teachings to be the right way, they are nothing more than what we were taught.  It is up to us as adults to begin learning what really matters, what really works in our life, and what we are going to care about in any given day.

I choose not care about some things...

On a TV show, I saw one character ask another their thoughts about some random subject.  His response was "I don't have an opinion."   Of course, the befuddled the person asking because they said, "you've got to have an opinion - its too important."  His response was, "I've only got so much ram and I can only care about so many things.  Some things I choose not to care about."  It was a good example.

Unfortunately we spend too much time in front of the screen watching our favorite news programs and allowing them to incite us to cement our beliefs for that moment.  We don't allow ourselves to think independently as we gulp down minute by minute news stories.  We see things in one way only and we watch the things that back up our views.  Often, we are not as enlightened and smart as we think we are.

 

You can either beat someone into submission to believe that you are right and they are wrong, or you can help lead them to discovery.  If you lead them to discovery, there is a good chance that both of you will learn something on the journey.

When we say I'm right and you're wrong, it is about attempting to control others so they see things our way.  The more others see things our way, the more safe and secure we feel.  It is not an enlightened moment of human interaction, but one of narrow mindedness and fear and control.

Challenge yourself - just don't take my word for it.  Challenge yourself to not see others as wrong.  We're just screaming at one another these days and the more we think we are right and everyone else is wrong, the more we're condemning this world to a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering and evil.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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We Support You But Let's Not Talk About It

Some days I really wonder about life and then on other days, humans prove with their actions what they think and feel in their hearts.  I know, it is an indictment of the human race, but I hope that with the words I write, someone will be a little wiser and a little more enlightened.  Maybe I'm hoping for too much, but even with the way some humans act, I still have faith in humanity.

The tired and worn out thought, we support you but let's not talk about it, makes me weep for humanity.  I've seen this a million times.  Whether its throughout the healing journey of child sexual abuse or an organization ripping apart at the seems, it is heard loud and clear.  Whether it is in a job where you stand up for what is right or you stand up to the bully in the workplace or even if you get married and it goes against the beliefs of others, there is no mistaking it.

Are humans that fickle?  Are humans so wrapped up in themselves that they offer support but yet they don't?  These are tough questions, but each and every person should ask them and ponder them because it happens across the board in one way or another.  It happens across every city and town of every country on this planet.  I've watched it play out so many times and in so many circumstances that my eyes are weary with pain.

Can we not be real with one another...

Can we not be real with one another?  Can we not show compassion and love to one another without using our ego and judgment to cloud the waters?  Are we not better as humans to understand love, compassion, consciousness and awareness.

Unfortunately, I would like to think humans have a greater capacity to love, rather than judge.  I would love to see where humans have a better awareness of what is right and just in this world, rather than turning a blind eye and being an accomplice in what is happening before them.  I still have hope for humanity.  I still try to have faith in humanity.

Actions speak volumes...

This business about supporting someone but then acting as if it doesn't exist or you don't want to talk about it, shows what is truly in your heart.  These actions and words speak volumes about what you really mean.  You can't just go to church on Sunday or embrace the new age thought patterns and let your actions say one things, while your mouth says another.

Maybe you think you don't do this and if you don't, my hat is off to you.  However, look long and hard because you might be missing the ways that you do.  It is not out of the question to not see that which you do.

Supporting one another is a basic part of being human.  If we fail in this, we have failed those around us and we have failed ourselves.  We cannot claim to support, but then hide it under the carpet.  We cannot claim to support and then talk about the stuff in a degrading way.  We cannot claim to support but hold back showing this, even in the slightest of ways.

My hope is that instead of hiding our heads in the sand, we will learn to become better humans.  Humans that are aware and conscious and walk the walk.  To be anything less, is to short change the human race and the world.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Everyone Has An Opinion

I have them.  You have them.  We all have them.  In fact, everyone has an opinion about just almost everything these days.  If you don't, you might be the exception and that's okay!  In fact, it is completely fine for everyone to have an opinion.  It is part of what makes us each special and unique.

Unfortunately, those opinions, have gotten in the way of us truly being real and respectful with one another.  Instead of listening and honoring the life that we all share together on this planet, we seem more hell-bent on trying to make each other out to be some label or something that is anything but positive.

If you watch the news, you'll see this in full force.  If you read social media, you'll either have those who are respectful or those that just hurt others.  There is very little middle ground.  Its almost like a game that everyone plays and it is almost like this has become the norm.

Opinions aren't always a bad thing...

Go ahead and have your opinions.  There isn't anything wrong with that.  However, when it comes to not listening to one another and thinking that your opinion is the only right one out there, something is a little wrong.  It means were  not connected to our heart, but we are connected to our ego.  Our ego has to grandstand and be right.

Sometimes life can be very difficult and in this day and age with all the frightening events going on, don't let fear rule your opinions and be the bully.  Don't let fear cloud your judgment and close your heart to your fellow humans.  We need each other to make it through this journey called life.

If we stand opposed...

If we stand opposed all day long with one another, how will we ever join together for our common good?  How will we advance our civilization if we are constantly tearing each other down by the words we speak and the actions we take.

Opinions are fine as long as we temper them with compassion and understanding.  When we resort to calling each other names and screaming at one another, we're so far from the point of compassion and understanding.

Open up your heart and let that guide your opinions, rather than being ruled by fear and the ego.  You may find in the end that your opinion isn't as strong as you thought it was or that it wasn't as big of a deal as you once believed.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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It's Far Too Easy To Judge Others

Everyone thinks that they know the other guy, the other place, the other side of an argument but in all reality, unless you've walked in their shoes, you don't!  Wow, that was rather blunt, wasn't it?

Yes, it was blunt, but it seems like every day I continue to see how easy it is to judge others and yet we really don't know what its like to be them.

We think we know what others deal with but in all reality we are viewing their lives through our own filters.  Our filters are based upon our life's experiences and the people we have met, the places we have traveled.  Our filters are based upon the beliefs that we grew up with and were taught, along with how our own subset of society we live in looked at other people.

Thinking we see what others deal with is not the same as walking in their shoes.  We have no idea what it means to have lived the life they know or they hope to know.  Even if they tell us and describe it, we will never know what it truly means until we have actually lived through what they have experienced.

I began to see a different world...

At one time, I thought I was aware of so much in this world because I try to stay open to all things.  However, when I traveled for one particular job, I began to see a different world than I realized existed.  Yes, we see an occasional news report, but it is nothing like being in the midst of it and seeing it with your own two eyes.

I learned that in many ways, I had no clue what it was like for the people and places that I saw.  I felt sadness for them, but to them it seemed like it was just another day.  I doubt they wanted my pity anyway.  I wanted to help, but I realized the situation was so great that even if I took all the money in the world, I doubt it would truly solve the problem.  Yet, I saw a selfishness and superficial attitude towards these people and places that would just add to their suffering.

It is far too easy to judge others.  We get all high and mighty thinking we know what is best.  In all reality, we are nothing more than a clanging symbol when we think we are love.

It is far too easy to judge others and tell them what they should do based upon our own life's experiences, but we miss the part that they have endured and lived through experiences that are much different than ours.  We may be talking trains and planes, while ignoring that fact that they are talking horses and cows.

We are right and they are wrong...

It is far too easy to judge others and demand they see things our way.  After all, in our own little word, we deem we are right and they are wrong.  We deem them to need to be enlightened to what we know.  Yet, we fail to understand that we do not hold any more of the answers in life than they do.  We just see things differently and we've applied life in different ways.

It is far too easy to judge others while claiming how superior and great and intelligent we are.  We hold our ego and pride out in front of us, rather than opening our hearts and ears.  Judgement comes from the ego, but love and helpfulness and compassion come from our hearts.  It is our heart that should be guiding us, not the judgement of our ego.

It is far too easy to judge others, while thinking that we don't do this.  It is so easy to convince ourselves that we are far better than that.  Each of us can only truly know what is in our own heart by taking a close look and inspecting our words, thoughts, and actions.  Words alone will fail us, but actions out of love will lift the entire world to greater heights.

We need each other to survive this journey called life.  Together our world will go further, but when we judge others, we divide the world into chaos.  Let us consider how we can see each other through the eyes of love, not judgment, and walk hand-in-hand together through the journey of life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Sinning Does Not Cause Depression Or Anxiety

I couldn't believe it when I read it.  I mean, come on - there's enough people hurting in the world without trying to make up stuff that isn't true.  Depression and anxiety are very real things that many have to deal with every day.

It pains me to see anyone that suffers from depression or anxiety have to live with the ignorance that is out there on this subject.  Today though, took the cake!  It was a horrible display and makes me absolutely sick.

In the comment I read as you can see here in the image to the right, they said that depression and anxiety was caused by sinning.  Its strictly a religious thing to them.  Now, the people that made this claim are holier than thou religious people.  I get that, but it still doesn't excuse it under any circumstances!


Unfortunately these people have no clue what biology is about or what mental health issues truly involve.  They must think that medicine and science are woo woo and that their misinterpreted views of religion are the only truth out there.  In fact, I know that's how they see things.  Of course, they are allowed to hold whatever beliefs they want, but when someone starts forcing it down others in their time of distress, then I've got big issues with people like this.

I grew up in this mindset and remember when I went through Conversion Disorder, I got some of this same stuff shoved at me.  One lady told me that I didn't need to go to the hospital, I just needed to pray about it.  Never mind that I was paralyzed and could not walk.  Of course, she was speechless when I looked at her and said, "If you broke your arm, would you just pray about it or would you go to the doctor?"  You see, these people sometimes don't engage the brain cells before they open their mouth.  I know, that's a harsh statement, but sometimes you can really hurt others with these misguided words.

Anxiety and depression are real.  Suicide is real.  I've been through both and praying to God didn't cure that because it was physical and biological conditions.  You can act as if they aren't real, but just because you don't think they are real, doesn't mean you are correct!

Sometimes our words are not only ignorant, but they are hurtful.  Imagine a person that is struggling to just make it through a day and you spew your unfounded beliefs upon them like this.  It could just be the last straw in their life.  They may say enough and find a way to end things.  Your words do far more damage than you may think at times.

This is plain ignorance in my view and it angers me when I read this stuff.  If you believe in God, I would think you would surely believe that he created all things, including doctors.  Sometimes, it is better to not just claim you know something, but be silent and let the professionals help the ones that need help.  Let the compassionate people care for others and just go over into your little cave in the ground and hide for another century.

So many people deal with depression and anxiety.  They have had to be strong for far too long without any escape and it isn't an easy road dealing with it or trying to heal your life and find your footing.  Its tough at the very least.

I've been through anxiety, depression, and suicide.  I know what it is like to freak out in a store or in a car.  I know what it is like to struggle in an elevator or an enclosed room.  I know what it is like to deal with the anxiety attacks that just come out of nowhere from the slightest trigger you can't even see.

I know what depression feels like and how lonely and lost you can get.  I know the despair, the pain and the misery.  I know just how difficult it is to keep going in a day when nothing matters and  you could care less.  It is not just a temporary sadness, but something that goes much deeper.

I know what suicide is like.  I've struggled far too many times to do it and fortunately I was never successful.  When you get in those moments, nothing else matters, but comments such as the one above do nothing to help.  Suicide is a horrible moment where all that matters is hanging on long enough to make it through to the next moment.


Our words can hurt.  Our religious piety does no good for other humans.  If we truly want to help others, we need to listen with our hearts and minds.  We need to be there without judgment and condemnation.  We need to treat them as they are human, not as they are less than.

Stop the judgment of anxiety and depression and suicide, because they are real things that people have to deal with.  They aren't a punchline to get more people into your church!  Be a force of love and compassion to people, helping them find their way in this difficult world.  Don't add to their pain.  Show them love and compassion.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Have Some Compassion For Shy People

I was heartbroken at what I saw today, while waiting to get my haircut.  There was this little girl (maybe  4 years old) who was very shy.  The little girl was getting ridiculed for being shy by her family.  It was very sad and I about tore these people apart for it.

The little girl was standing in the waiting area with her mom at the counter.  Another young girl who was maybe a year or two older came up to her and tried to be nice and friendly.  The little shy girl immediately withdrew and the other girl walked away.  You could see the shy girl all withdrawn in her body and had her arms tucked in around her body.

Her mom of course begins to chastise her for being shy and demanded that she lower her arms down.  With scorn, she told the little shy girl that she needed to learn how to be nice to strangers.  The mom ridiculed her little daughter for being shy and of course the older sibling had to make sure she did the same.

Personal Reflections

Sometimes I really wonder about humanity.  I see people behaving in ways that makes me wonder if they truly understand what it means to be human.  The vengeance, hatred, ill-tempered remarks that are thrown around like a plentiful supply of bombs, is not how I picture humanity.

Its almost like we have to agree with one another or we become the enemy.  I see it all the time posted on social media sites like Facebook and twitter.  Instead of discussing ideas and finding common ground, we as humans in this world are hurling knives at one another through our words.

It is so sad what we have become.  I still believe that we have brighter days ahead and I still believe that we as humans can rise above the pettiness of our days.  We focus on things that are far too insignificant, while closing our eyes in slumber to those that are.

Holding The Space For Someone

Sometimes, it gets very difficult in life to go through rough moments. We all have had those times when we were tested beyond measure and we felt it was next to impossible to make it through.

Perseverance and putting one foot in front of the other usually got us to the other side. For those around us, most likely it was difficult to watch the pain we were experiencing. At times, the difficulties we experienced most likely connected to pain within those who are close to us.

The most important help that anyone could give us in those moments was just to allow us to be in that space. Sometimes a person just needs to process the experience in order to find the way through the difficult moment.

If a person is suicidal with immediate plans or a danger to others, than life saving action must be taken. Often though, many who face despair may talk about drastic measures but it is their way of reaching out for help while they struggle to make sense of life. Most people want to fix someone or attempt to solve the difficult problems they are facing.

In all reality, what the individual needs is a listening ear or to just know that they are not all alone. Sometimes this act of pure love and compassion of just being there for the person is the strongest help one can give to another. This includes leaving your own agendas and fears out of the other person's process. For the moment of true support is not about you. It is about them!

We all need to know we are loved unconditionally. Through our life, we will come up against many challenges and if we know we are not walking alone, than we have much more strength to take on the challenges in our life. Never underestimate the power of holding the space for someone who needs a listening ear. You may be their life line back to reality.


Blog Post & Images (c) 12/10/10 Don Shetterly - use by permission only