Stand Opposed

Written By Don Shetterly

These days it feels like everyone hates one another.  I'm not sure there is anything but hatred these days.  So much is shared online of how we should love one another.  We say it to those who agree with us, but the premise remains the same.

If you're not in a specific thought bubble on whatever subject it is on, then somehow you're a bad person.  You're wrong and stupid and all the other adjectives that one could list here.  That's how it is portrayed online each and every day.

It isn't just about one subject that gets screamed about every day.  I've seen it lately from things that you wouldn't expect it to things that do not seem to be controversial.  As I've found, don't you dare disagree because you are the one that will be outcast.

Far too much of this comes from those who don't want to discuss issues but think everything they say is right (and all others are wrong).  Much of this comes from those who profess love and acceptance of everyone, but give them an online comment and they will get down in the mud pit with everyone else.

See, I think these statements about love, acceptance, and rising above everyone is just codeword for you don't agree with me and I don't want to talk to you.  I may be wrong, but I see more and more evidence of this.

If we just stand opposed on every subject under the sun, then how does that make us a civilization?  How are we a part of the human experience if we only want to hear the things that we agree within a day?

Sure, everyone says they want this, but far too few actually put it into action.  Remember when you get down in the mud pit of life and wrestle with everyone, no one can tell you apart.  Everyone in the mud pit looks like the other.

We've got enough issues in this world and to create more just for the sake of screaming along with the crowd, that's not being human.  In fact, that is ego driven in my view.  It is born out of fear that overtakes a person.  Human is a long ways off.

I wish this world would jam the gear in reverse, but I'm afraid we're going to go through some painful experiences before things reverse.  No one cares about one another these days (unless it is someone in your own tribe).  No one knows how to show respect for each other.  Yes, they can spout off memes, thoughts, and bible verses showing how loving and compassionate they are.

Maybe we just need to step back and see how we respond to situations.  Have you really looked at what you say and do?  Is it truly done out of respect, or is it hateful and spiteful?

The other day, I had an exchange with someone and I'll let you read what happened when instead of being sarcastic or spiteful, a simple reply with respect changed the course of a day.  It can be that simple, but first, we have to get it right within ourselves.  The following tweet was just part of the conversation that helped change the course of the day with another individual.

If you want to practice #Kindness - think about the responses you make to social media postings, videos, and news. If you can't practice kindness in those moments, do you truly understand what it means to be kind?

— Don Shetterly (@mindbodythought) November 14, 2018

The person responded

LOL thank u Don, for I have certainly roasted couple severals of people to a charred crisp. While I think they deserve it, they also deserve love/compassion. So today is that day I'm sending it out to them & ALL, including you. I don't know u, but I love u for the person u are.

To which I said,

One day is better than nothing.  

Sometimes just a different response can mean so much to the whole world.  May we all try to give a different response - one that is respectful, compassionate, and kind.

What Is Wrong With People?

by Don Shetterly

Lately, it feels like everyone is at odds with one another.  Everyone wants to preach love and acceptance and positivity.  Everyone wants the feel-good stuff, but then they turn around and do just the opposite.

What's wrong with people?

It seems like everywhere I turn, people are angry and frustrated and often downright mean.  The love they say they have for others disappears when you interact with them.  The acceptance is anything but that when you connect with them.

Sure, maybe there is plenty of reason to be angry and frustrated, but we don't have to be hateful to one another.

People just want to spew their hatred all day long.  They don't care how it damages anyone in the wake left behind.  In fact, they don't even realize they are doing it, but they are quick to point out what others do wrong.

Hopefully, I'm not the one that is being blind here, but I do try hard not to propagate frustration and anger or stress on to others.  It serves no one any good if I do that.

I grew up in a home where people took their anger out on others, and it got quite old.  It was often explained to me that we hurt the ones we love the most.  How twisted is that thought?  There's no need to hurt anyone.

We look at others as if they are the problem and until they change, we are going to tell them what they should do, how they should act, and what they should believe.  It is sickening.

The best thing anyone can do is work on how they present themselves to the world.  Don't wait for others to change because you will be waiting a lifetime.  Instead, work on changing yourself.  Spread love to others and do it authentically.

Don't spread the horrible stuff on social media that only incites further hatred towards one another.  Don't jump on the bandwagon screaming with the other people that think adding screaming to an already noisy world is going to help.  Instead, take a hard inventory of what you display and what is in your heart.

If we continue to look at what's wrong with people, we're missing the log in our own eye.  We have not understood our role in this even if we want to puff our chests up and act as if we're perfect.

We are reaching toxic levels of humanity where it will begin eating into the physical health of our world.  We cannot sustain the actions of what we do to one another because it takes us so far away from being human.

Before you spew that hatred and share that social media post lambasting a fellow human - take a deep breath, take a drink of water and then collect your thoughts.  Most likely by the time you go back to it, your rational mind will see things differently.

I'm Perplexed By People

By Don Shetterly

I'm perplexed by people.  So often, I hear people say they "care" or they "love" or they are "concerned" about you or someone else.  It all sounds heartfelt.  It feels like you could take those statements to the bank.

However, it doesn't take long before you start to see the cracks in the statements people make. You soon come to realize with much pain that the statements are nothing more than words.  There is no action to back them up.  There is no follow through.  They are just words that give the impression that people mean what they say.

I don't do this!

Of course, I'm sure most people would claim, I don't do this.  It is other people out there that do such things.  They make it convincible.  You want to believe them, but eventually, you learn that their words mean little.

It hurts when people do this because I try to take people at what they say.  I listen to them, and I try to believe that if they are saying they love me or care about me or are concerned, they mean it.  Yes, I know, it is easy to be fooled.

Meaningless Words

You can't just say these words and follow them up with inaction.  Speaking these phrases holds some responsibility.  Without truly showing that you care or love someone or are concerned, these words are meaningless.  They become weapons of pain inflicted upon others.

There are times that maybe it is best if you say nothing.  If you are not prepared to follow through, then don't throw your words around as if they have little value.  It cheapens you and the pain it inflicts upon others, cheapens them.

Don't be misled by the fact that you think everyone else does this because more than likely, you do not see yourself in a truth-filled way.  Yes, you might convince that you see things correctly, but it would serve humanity's best interest if you got a second opinion.

Let Us Be There For Others

After all, we are humans walking this earth plane together.  If we are truly there for others, it helps all of us.  If we inflict pain or stand opposed, we hurt the totality of humanity.  Let's be for helping others and truly being there for them, not only in our words but in our actions.

Conditions On Being Tolerant and Loving

Written By Don Shetterly

These days, I get so tired of seeing this on display.  In social media, we wear it as a badge.  I'm talking about how we say and preach one thing to the world while doing the opposite with our actions.

We say we are tolerant and loving, but then we put conditions on it.  Of course, we don't acknowledge that, and if someone pointed it out, we'd dismiss them quickly.

We think it is everyone else.  Those who disagree that are not tolerant and loving.  We've got such a big log in our own eye that we cannot even begin to see this in our personal life.  It is everyone else that has the problem, not us.  We're self-righteous and holier than thou.

We exclaim, we're telling it like it is or we claim that somehow we take the superior high ground because we're enlightened.  It doesn't matter which side of this you are on because we all do it every day.  If you don't believe me, show your social media feed to a young child, and I bet they can point out the hypocrisy quickly.

We go to our churches, and we claim how full of love and righteousness we are, but we don't stop to know ourselves.  We don't stop to look at ourselves and see what is within us.  If you don't go to church, there's a good chance you use some other belief system to do the same thing.

Then we point fingers at one another.  We have to tell others just how wrong they are.  After all, we are tolerant and loving.  We just gloss over the conditions because we are so self-righteous.

Growing up, we were in one of these ultra-religious churches that stated bluntly if you did not believe the way they believed, you weren't going to heaven.  There were a lot of other "beliefs" that they taught that I've written about before on another blog post.  It took me many years to let go of that brainwashing hatred for others that were different than us.

Most of the people outside of that church were much more tolerant.  I didn't hear politics discussed or hatred towards gays.  They were down to earth peace loving people that were fun to be around.  I admired and respected them.

Now, however, when I go view some of the stuff on their social media pages (next to the things about how much they are tolerant and loving), I see some of the vilest hatred that exists.  How can people not see what they are doing?  If you say one thing, but do another, your words mean nothing.  Your actions tell the real story.

These days we are so consumed with things that have knocked this entire planet so far off its course, we cannot even see it on display.  We're so numb and disconnected and unconscious that basic decency and respect for one another is something from prehistoric times.

No, it's not the other people that do this in the world that is the problem.  You can't control them.  The only person you can control is yourself and whether you engage and propagate the hatred and divisiveness or you walk away from it.  That's a choice you make each day.

So when you claim you are tolerant and loving, make sure you're choosing something that matches that.  If your rhetoric and social media feed say the opposite, it might be time to have a hard look at what is within your heart.  For what lies in your heart is showing the entire world what that is.

Tolerant and loving people show it through all aspects of their lives.  It isn't just the words you say, or share and likes.  It isn't the retweets and screaming.  It is pure love that treats each other as human, not as something less than ourselves.  It is your heart in action and your ego filtered with respect.

That One Person That Gets Me

Written By Don Shetterly

I love being with that one person that just gets me.  

They are the ones that see past the faults I see in myself.

They are the ones that see potential in me when I see nothing.

When I'm with this person, it makes my life soar to greater heights.

It makes me want to be more than I am and all that I can be.

I love being with that one person that just gets me.

What Is Love - Do We Really Know?

Written By Don Shetterly

Every day I see people making statements about love and how we should love one another.  This is the time of year where love is in the air.  Unfortunately, the more I hear about love, the more I wonder if anyone realizes what it means.

Love isn't something that goes around boasting about how much it exists or how it exists.  It doesn't grandstand or exclaim, "hey, look at me!"  For it does not have to do this since love can be seen, felt, and acknowledged for its existence.

Readily Seen

Love isn't something we have to convince others that we have.  If we have love within our hearts, it will be readily seen through our thoughts, actions, and words. It will just be evident without us banging our chests as if we are the most pronounced dealers in the world of love.

Love isn't about what others think of us or how much our ego enjoys to be noticed.  It requires that we be there for others in a pure, unselfish and unadulterated manner.  The behavior we see on display these days tends to be anything but this.

Transcends Everything

Love isn't about keeping score of what you've done for other people or how you've been successful.  It is not about the latest stories and trends and rants or raves of the day.  There is no need for it to connect with trending topics because love transcends everything.

Love is more than puffing up one's spiritual beliefs as it blinds them to the deeper truth in their own lives and worlds.   For love is something that operates at a higher moment than any man-made set of truths derived from beliefs, customs, and ideas passed from one generation to the next.

Sits Quietly

Love is not a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  Often, pure and true unadulterated love sits quietly in the background spreading to every corner of the room.  It needs to not draw attention because everyone in the room will know if it is there or not.

Love comes from deep within the heart of our mind and body, not the ego that we see at every turn today in our world.  It is felt within the body, not dictated by the mind.  When you're thinking about what you should do or how you should react, love is not necessarily the one in control.

Support

Love comes from surrendering to feelings and emotions of all types, not just the select few we wish to engage.  It is about bringing balance to the extremes, but recognizing that the extremes in life exist.

Love is full of compassion and help, assistance and support.  It knows and sees a bigger picture because it is connected at the core of all that it exists.  Since it is connected, there is a knowing and understanding that rises above the common discourse of the day.

In The Knowing

If you ask, what is love?  Go deep into your heart to search for the answers.  They will not be in what others proclaim or how other people say love will show up.  Love will be in the knowing and understanding that there is more which transcends this current moment.

We will see love through the thoughts, words, and actions of those that it inhabits.  It will just be there automatically without effort.

Connection

It will connect with others in a way that they know it exists.  Nothing will need to be said to see it, for it is a felt emotion that is strong and powerful and never-ending.

Love is more than enough.

Love is in great enough supply.

We need to tap into it and discard the darkness in our hearts so that we not only feel it, but we share it with everyone.

The world needs love.

The world needs love in a big way.

May we all find and embrace the love that flows to every person in this world.

Let us all be open to pure love without trying to mold it into what we think it should be.

Also, read the blog post, I Send Out Love.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2/13/18 by Don Shetterly

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Why I Loved Christmas As A Kid

Written By Don Shetterly

The day that many people have been waiting for has arrived.  If you're like me, Christmas Day is one of those times as a kid that I looked to in anticipation.  For days and weeks before, I struggled to sleep.

For me, I loved the Christmas programs at school and church.  Often, I would get to play the piano for all the Christmas music.  Also, my mom baked all kinds of Christmas goodies and cookies and candy.  It was fun decorating the Christmas cookies with her.

It also meant that for one day out of the year, we could just be kids and not have to go outside and work meaningless tasks on my father's to-do-list.  There were other aspects of the day that were not as pleasant, but I'm avoiding them in this blog post.

One other thing I loved about Christmas as a kid was seeing the decorated Christmas tree and all the tinsel and decorations and lights on it.  Living in the rural Midwest with the white snow-covered landscape, I loved to see Christmas lights on homes in the area.  The snow reflected the lights beautifully.  I am still mesmerized by the Christmas lights on houses.

These days things have changed for me, and I don't see Christmas in the same way as when I was a kid.  I still love Christmas Music playing in the background.  I still love the lights, decorations, and cookies.

It bothers me when I see people talking about this war on Christmas as if everything needs to be a battle.  Afterall, I think many who feel this way have lost sight of the true meaning of what Christmas is.  It is too easy to get lost in the "purchasing frenzy" and then claim there is a war on Christmas.  I believe some need to do some serious soul-searching before they proclaim what they do.  Unfortunately, the attitude of divisiveness seems to be the way of our society.

Regardless of how you view Christmas, I hope you have an enjoyable day.  I hope the joy and peace that comes on this day stay longer than a few hours or a couple of weeks.  I hope you took time out to not just focus on what you got, but that you gave back to someone else.

My only Christmas wish is that we as a civilization will start to practice love throughout the entire year.  I wish for respect and humility and kindness.  May we all start seeing one another through eyes where we recognize each other as human, not enemies.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Seasons Greetings to each one who visits my blog!  Don't forget, if you want to hear some beautiful Christmas music, check out my Christmas Cd.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly

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Angry Rants

Written By Don Shetterly

I'm overwhelmed these days by most things online.  It feels like there is enough stress in a day and then seeing angry rants just pushes it over the edge.  I'm not sure why we as a world are at the place we are, but I'm worried for the future of our civilization.

No one seems to want to listen to another.  We only seem to want to scream and push our point of view on everyone.  I think many feel like no one hears them and if that's the case, the result is to scream louder to compensate.

Everyone seems to have their point of view and belief system.  While that is fine, when you force it upon everyone else, what do you profit?  How do you make their life better?  How do you make the world better?  After all, they are "our" beliefs.  Often times, "our" beliefs are not backed up by as much truth as we think they are.

I see the I'm right, you're wrong in the angry rants.  It doesn't matter the issue.  The ego is crafty and smart and powerful.  It says, my way or the highway and to heck with your views, thoughts, or ideas.  The only thing is, if we are all right, and everyone else is all wrong, then we've got a mess on our hands.  Surely life is more than you're wrong, and I'm right.

Angry rants go on about this individual or group of people.  It often centers around politics and the latest headline of the day.  I'm bewildered when I see the constant stream of it online, weeping in sadness for how we treat one another.

Surely our lives are more than angry rants of who is right and who is wrong.  Are we not more than all of the mind-numbed issue ranting of the day?  If you really look at it, it is not a conscious behavior.

I'm not saying that we should ignore injustice, abuse, and bullying.  In fact, I think we have to speak up, but there are different ways of doing that.  Many that are being used today are not effective and become nothing more than a noisy gong.  We are drowning each other out.

I get the frustration with what is happening throughout the world.  It feels frightening at times and stressful most other moments.  It feels like there is nothing stable or permanent.

In my mind, I see the pendulum of the planet swinging so far back and I wonder how much further it can go.  What will happen when it reaches its furthest most point?  My mind wonders about what will happen when it swings back and hits all the other balls hanging there without motion.

Some days I feel like the only one seeing this, but lately I've noticed I'm not alone.  There are others that see this and try not to add to the anger in this world.  I am inspired and hopeful by these connections.  The peaceful and loving ones are beginning to emerge.

Each and every human needs to stop and take stock of their lives.  We need to be mindful and aware of what we are putting out into the world.  There is more than one way to communicate and right now as a civilization, we're really messed up.

May we figure this out before the pendulum swings too far back.  I hope that everyone who reads this will stop and think about it for one moment.  We cannot expect everyone else to do what we want when we're doing the very same behavior.  We cannot expect others to listen if we do not hear.  If we are screaming, we can not expect them to be silent.

We may think we are right and quite possibly that is true.  However, being right comes with a responsibility to see others through the eyes of love and understanding.  In fact, love and understanding see beyond who is right or wrong.  Angry rants do very little to help.

How do angry rants impact your life?  Do you see anything that you can do differently to be part of the healing in this world?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/14/17 by Don Shetterly

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We Point Fingers

Written By Don Shetterly

Lately, all across the planet, it seems to be human means we stand opposed to one another.  We point the fingers and exclaim that everyone else is the problem.  We hold our heads up high while bashing everyone who doesn't believe our way.

The issue doesn't matter.  From the more serious ones to the little ones, we point the finger and say "you're either with us or you're against us."  There is no middle ground.  There is no listening.  There is no acceptance of anything outside our personal belief systems.

It doesn't seem to matter how enlightened people claim to be or how religious and God-loving they are.  Everyone points the fingers while thinking they have the truth.  They believe they have all the answers.  They believe no one knows what matters the way they do.  When I say they, I mean the "collective we" in our society.

We See Things Our Way...

We judge but demand others not judge us.  We torment and ridicule, but we hate it when the same is done to us.  We fail to listen to others and their points of view while demanding that they adhere to ours.  We speak as if are the only ones with the right to talk while telling all others to shut up and sit down because they have nothing of value to say.

I'm not saying all things that are said, need to be heard.  In fact, I believe many need to practice some self-control and learn which things are good for public discourse and which things are not.  In this day and age of the internet, we all feel that every thought that passes through us must be shared with the world instantaneously.  Thanks, social media, for doing us such a big disservice!

Instead of focusing on what is in our own heart and learning to let go of our own anger and pain and stress of life, we inflict it upon everyone we meet.  We show them our hatred through our words and our actions.  We show them our pain through our inability to just let go and move on.

We Are Part Of The Problem...

We give a voice to the crazy thoughts of the day when we point our fingers at them in judgment.  We give a voice to the crazy talk when we have to share, pass on, retweet, and like everything they say.  We are as much a part of the problem as the ones sharing the trash.  Yet, we hold ourselves up high as we are somehow enlightening the world.

If you add crazy to crazy, you're only going to get a more crazy response.  If you add hatred to hate, you're only going to see more hate.  If you antagonize anger with anger, you're going to see anger on display at every corner.

We need to really stop and think about how our actions are contributing to the overall demise of the world.  We may believe that we are doing something positive, but when we elevate the crazy trash of the day, then we are part of the problem.  We need to stop being part of the problem.

Let's stop judging ourselves and therefore others.  Let's stop pointing the finger at others and therefore ourselves.  Let's stop hating and showering anger upon the world, expecting love in return.

Instead, let us show love to the world by first starting to show love within ourselves.  Let love begin within us.  Let us rid our hearts of hatred, judgment, and anger so that we can fill it with love.  Let us let go of all those we point the finger at, and see the spark of light that is within each human being.

Remember, when you point a finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointing back at you.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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My Heart Goes Out

Written By Don Shetterly

There are so many things happening in our world today that some days I'm not sure how to respond.  I"m not sure I have the words or the actions or the thoughts to respond appropriately.  I feel lost in a tormented sea that we call life and humanity.  I feel lost in a never-ending cycle of hatred and disrespect.


I write to try and make sense of things.  I write to try to understand my own thoughts and not allow myself to get stuck in what is going on, but what can be.  It is the only way I know to move through the horrible trauma, stress, and difficult moments in life.

Natural Disasters...

My heart goes out to those impacted by natural disasters because I know from firsthand experience that it changes a life forever.  What you once held dear and steadfast no longer remains.  It shakes the foundation of all that you have come to know, but I know that you can rebuild and come back from it.  I'm not going to say it is easy, but I know it is possible.

Weeps For Hatred Upon Others...

My heart goes out to those who find a way to interject their hatred upon others through just about every story or event of our day.  My heart weeps for those that do this because it is not what humanity is about, or the display of what it means to be working together to advance life on this planet.  I weep for those that are impacted by this because the hatred (often disguised as love and truth) hurts each and every member of civilization.

For Those Who've Been Abused...

My heart goes out to all those that have been abused, and are struggling to find their way in the darkness.  Their footing may seem shaky, and the lights of their lantern may appear dim, but they are trying.  They are hurting, and my heart weeps for them.  I wish I could swallow them up with a giant hug of love and support and take the pain away.  I know though that healing is a part of their journey and so through the pain, they will find their way.

Those Who Are Not Awake...

My heart goes out to all those that are not awake, living outside of their body, or not connected to the real source of life within their existence.  There is so much more, but I understand how desensitized we can become, falling for the latest flashy thing of the day.  I realize how much humans minimize things and therefore diminish all parts of their life.  I know we can be more if we stop and connect with our mind and our body, not just one or the other.

I know of no other way to deal with things.  I know of no other way to help than by letting my heart be my guide.  My heart goes out.

Hopefully, we can begin to turn the tide of hatred and evil poison in this world by first making sure our hearts are pure and clean.  We need to love ourselves fully and begin to purge the toxic poisons that fill our mind and body.

Through loving ourselves and cleaning our own lives out, we can be there for others with a heart that is willing, ready and can help bring new possibility to difficult moments.  Let each of us, individually, focus on lifting the world up, not dragging it down.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Reflections On My Birthday

Written By Don Shetterly

As I approach the day I entered this world, I'm drawn to the bigger view and purpose of my life.  If I live to the expected length of life, I'm well past half way through my life.  It makes me stop and pause to contemplate what this means.


I don't care how much I get ahead in this world to make someone else wealthy.  I've already been down that road and I saw how many employers (contract work and regular corporations) only care about their bottom line.  Their employees and contractors are human chum that can be replaced at any time.  I have no desire to be a part of that world any longer.

I don't care how many things I have in life.  In fact, I keep trying to de-clutter and reduce what I already have.  Things are not important to me.  They are temporary.  They are not the human experience to me.  I don't need the latest and greatest phone or electronics or the most beautiful and expensive house and car.  There is far much more important to me than material possessions.

It doesn't matter what the latest gossip of the day is or what celebrity has done what lately.  It doesn't matter if I'm up-to-date on the most recent news headline of the day, for most of it is just fear replicated over and over to the masses.

I see things more clearly now than I ever have in my life.  I see that friends and loved ones are what matters.  Losing people close to me makes all those that come into my life that much more special.

Experiences Are Far More Valuable...

I see memories and experiences being far more valuable than any possession I could buy.  They give me a richness and fullness in life that nothing in a store could ever do.

I see that purpose and personal growth far outweigh anything the masses push as being important.  I know there is more in life and I want to partake of every morsel I can get.

Life is much more about finding myself and growing and learning and loving every facet of life I can discover.  It is about awakening to so much more, not succumbing to the latest water-cooler talk that happens in our day.

I want to make a difference in this world and although I have friends who tell me that I have, I feel that there is so much more to accomplish.  I feel like I have a life that craves much more and sees more.  I feel more, and so things that others may discount become monumental to me.  I cannot hold a blind eye to them.  I cannot shut them off as if they do not exist.

As my life and years proceed, I'm learning to let go and realize that in letting go, I gain so much.  In the letting go of past pain, my life is healing and opening up in ways that I never even could believe were possibilities.

 

Twenty-six years ago today, my life came to a standstill.  I was paralyzed and on my last breaths of air as I tried to travel toward the bright white light.  I heard then, "it is not your time, " and now I understand more and more what those words meant so many years ago.

I have no clue what tomorrow holds for me, but I am content in knowing that today I allow my life to connect with others, hoping that I help them lift their own lives up from pain and despair.  I hope that by learning how to love myself, I can offer and show love to the world, healing it of the pain and distress it is experiencing.

May my life in the next year to come be more than it is today.  May I get to that year marker and look back in awe of possibilities I could not even fathom at this very moment today.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Growing Up With Hate Disguised As Love

Written By Don Shetterly

As a kid, we went to church, every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and any other day there were activities.  Church services and prayer meetings were the norms for our lives.  Days and meals were planned around it.  No one was exempt from going, and you were expected to be there.


In each prayer meeting or church service, the participants (our family included) talked about loving one another.  We talked about how we were somehow different from all the rest of the population.  We talked about how we were holier than all the rest of the people living on the planet.

We tried to be good people and do the right thing most of the time.  We sought to be honest, upstanding, loving, kind and generous when we could We put our offering in the collection plate and sometimes I saw my dad give their entire life's savings while we starved, but we were doing it in the name of all that was holy.

Not Gossip - It Was Prayer Requests...

We didn't mind the gossip that went on in the church because we didn't call it that.  Instead, we referred to it as prayer requests.  We'd offer up prayers in the circle while many would raise eyebrows at hearing the news of various participants.  That was okay though because we were praying about it of course.

We would get back in the car to leave the church service or prayer meeting and boy that is when the discussion of the prayer requests (a.k.a gossip) would start up with intensity.  It was as if there were only a few minutes to discuss it.  I would listen as my parents talked without a pause.

It would bother me, but you didn't dare stand up and say anything for fear of being beat.  You couldn't expose the error in what family was doing because you got it when you got home.  I just had to sit there and listen to it while it made my stomach turn.  Yet, we were a loving family who was special and went to church.  Gossip was something others did.

With the same breaths of love and kindness, we would turn our attention to all those that we disagreed with from our neighbors to other members of the church.  The minister, of course, was not exempt with this, but because it was in the secrecy of our car and home, no harm was done.  After all, we proved that we had love for one another.

Didn't Know Our Actions Were Hate Filled...

If people thought differently than what the ruler in our family proclaimed as the law, we despised them and distanced ourselves from them.  You could say that we hated them, but then no one would have admitted that in this moment or at any time.  For we were Christians.  We were called by God so we could not have hate.  We didn't know that our actions were hate filled.

Never mind the domestic violence and child sexual abuse that was going on in the family.  Never mind that the thought of sparing the rod and spoiling the child was enacted to the extreme.  These were regular parts of our family while we acted as if we loved everyone and hated no one.

I escaped from that life, and it was not easy to leave it behind.  Because of other situations in my life with healing from Conversion Disorder, I had to walk away from my entire family to save my life.  I was cast out as a son that was brainwashed by psychiatrists who didn't know that his family loved him.  I was shoved aside until I came to my senses.  All the loyalty that had been demanded of me throughout my life was now cut off because I no longer lived by the family code I grew up with as a kid.

My Family Still Practices Hate...

To this day, I see those in my family who still practice the hate.  They disguise it as love, but the hate has blinded their hearts.  They no longer can tell a difference.  It is sad observing it from outside the family.  Some days, I can barely believe this is the family I grew up in.

I see things happening in the world and our country which reminds me of those years I have longed to forget.  The one-way loyalty and the hate disguised as love.  The superiority of some as they lift themselves up over the ones they have trampled.  I see a disdain for what is really the truth, hidden by everything under the sun that is not.

If you tried to confront anyone about this, they would laugh and spit in your face.  Yet, the same people puff themselves up as the arbitrators of truth, justice, and love.  Instead, the judgment shown by most people towards others, even the ones that cloak it with some love, is one of the most hurtful things you can do towards another.

I grew up in the church and the family that judged everyone while we smiled, hugged them, and told them, "I Love You!"  We thought we were the best that life had to offer.  We thought we were right and everyone else was wrong.  As I've put distance in my healing from my family, I realized just how wrong we were.  We were not only part of the problem, but we were the problem.

No one wants to look hard into their own life and see the garbage then need to throw out the window.  No one wants to acknowledge their actions and thoughts and words as being not only part of the problem but the problem facing this world.  Everyone is quick to judge everyone but themselves, and I weep at the sadness of this behavior.

Living life in this world is not always easy but the more we hide our heads in the sand, duck behind the knowledge of truth, the more we make it an arduous journey.  We're not as great as we proclaim because a great life is seen through actions, not words.  We can speak the words, but if we do not live the life that we preach, we are nothing more than a clanging gong.

What is in our heart and mind and body is what we display to the world.  We can mask our hate and project it on to everyone else, but until we go in and search our own heart and mind, we will be part of the problem.  Let us open our eyes and become aware of what we truly do, not what we say to convince the world.

I work each day to de-program my mind from the brainwashing I endured as a kid.  I work each day to love others through my heart and actions, not just the words I write or say.  Every day, I strive to release all the toxicity and poison that was pumped into me as I was taught the truths of life.  I am the only one that can change how I live my life now.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Turn The Divisiveness Off

Written by Don Shetterly

It is too easy for us to engage with behaviors we think are helpful, but not be fully engaged as human beings.  We want to be conscious.  We want to be aware, but more often than not, we participate in life unconsciously.

It is epidemic these days as so many find their sustenance through every news headline, broadcast, and news shows.  They decry that which is said, but they cannot get enough of it.  They thrive on all that is reported as if their life will crumple to the ground without it.  If it is not the news, it is people that are like minded they listen to as if it is the gospel truth.

Many people say, "That's Not Me!" 

Many will say, "I Don't Do That!" 

Unfortunately, they do.

If as many people did not watch the TV news as said they did, we would see different programming.  If as many people didn't crave everything politicians said or tweeted, we wouldn't see much of this stuff show up.  If we learned to respect those we disagree with, we would be much more human and loving than we are.

The news and various people across the spectrum of our society get people cranked up.  They say and do things that will get a rise out of people and get them to respond.  Even while saying they won't, people seem not to be able to help themselves.

We worry far too much about what is in the news these days. My personal opinion is that there are little substance and value in the news reports.  Our society bases so much of our life upon this while screaming and raving about it.

If you want to bring change to the world, then turn the TV off.  There's very little value in what is purported to be news, and that is from all perspectives.  There is not anything out there worth consuming.  The more people that turn the TV off, the more things will change.

Yes, that is my view and opinion, but I do put my money where my mouth is.  We no longer get regular TV because it just had very little value to it for the money spent.  At first, I thought I could never do this, but I can tell you that I'm so happy we did.  We no longer miss it, and I believe that we've found a little more peace in a day.

The people grandstanding for all to hear in these times, thrives on someone listening to them.  If they are met with silence, it becomes like a clanging gong that no one needs to hear.  The best thing you can do to stop it is to just not listen.  Turn it off.

There is so much more to life, and we are consumed as a society by what is fed to us every day.  Let us find the joy and the peace, not the anxiety and despair.  Let us find love towards one another, not divisiveness and hatred.

The choice is up to each one of us in how we choose to live our daily lives and what we allow in.  We are at a turning point I believe, and I hope that each one of us will choose wisely each and every morning we awaken.

Our body, mind, spirit, and heart will thank us for it.

Love The One You Are With

Written By Don Shetterly

I see so many hurtful comments online, and I hear them in person from people who are married or together within a relationship.  It is almost like they despise being with this person or married to them and it boggles my mind.


Should it not be, love the one you're with?

Growing up in my house, not only did I witness domestic violence but I regularly heard my dad gripe and complain about my mom.  Nothing she did was ever enough.  Being a woman, he was so derogatory against her, and it was things that should have never been said to a child.

Stop complaining about your wife...

I saw someone the other day complaining on social media that he hated his job, but it was better than going home to his wife that he despised.  I was stunned as I read this.  My only thought was "why is he with his wife if he hates her that much."

Men have a long ways to go in this area.  If you can't treat the person you are with in respect, why are you with them?  Maybe you need to do some soul searching because more than likely, it is not only your wife that has issues.

Respect the ones we love...

I've been with my husband for 17 years and only married now for one year.  I would never think of disparaging him in the way I saw my dad do or I see others do.  I love him with all my heart and have from the moment we met.  Our love has only grown deeper with each day.

If we don't respect those we meet or are in a relationship, what does that say about us as an individual?  If we don't show love to them, how can we expect to be loved?  More than likely we don't love or respect ourselves, and that is where it begins.

Just because a father or others show disrespect, it does not mean you have to propagate this forward.  If you're in a relationship where disrespect is at the heart of all you do, you may need to evaluate why you are in that relationship.  Life is too short to go around hating and disrespecting others, especially those that we profess we love.

Come on men - let's strive to do better.  Let's make our words count, not just be ones that are spoken.  Let's own what we say and show by example that we value others in our life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Dealing With Loneliness

Written By Don Shetterly

Recently I was reading the blog post that Jody wrote for her column on loneliness.  It is a topic that is near and dear to my heart as well.  I've struggled with loneliness all my life, and she is so right that Loneliness Can Break Your Heart.


I remember being in one of my grade school years and we were shown some movie about a little kid who was a loner.  I don't remember the name of the film.  I barely recall what the movie was about.

However, I remember one scene in particular that stands out in my mind.  The little boy was getting on the school bus and looking for anyone to see him off, talk to him, or act like he existed.  The look on his face was loneliness.  The little kid was a loner.

Somehow out of that movie, I learned that being a loner could kill you.  Again, I can't remember the entire movie, but that stuck in my mind all these years.  I know I've read other things about loneliness.  There was a song that someone sang in church one time when I was a kid that was titled, "Lonely Voices."

Even in a crowd of people, I can feel lonely.  In a group of close friends, I can feel alone.  I struggle with loneliness because it seems that it permeates every part of my life.

It has gotten a little better over the years, but I still long for being alone.  I could be one of those people like Grizzly Adams that lived out in the woods.  Yet, as much as I like being alone, I do like to be around people.  I love to help people.  I care about people.

Maybe it was because I was hurt so badly as a child being sexually abused and tortured.  Maybe it is that I never learned how to be around others because we were controlled and isolated as kids.

I know that there are lonely people out there and I desperately wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better.   It is something we all have to work through if we are faced with loneliness, but I can tell you from first-hand experience, it isn't always easy for me.

Fortunately, there is support through friends that understand.  There are special connections online that can help.  Pets and animals make a world of difference for me.

Even if I feel alone, I know I am not.  There are people who care about me and love me, even if I can't always see it.  It is important to keep that in mind because loneliness is the jail we put ourselves in.  We alone can unlock it because we hold the key.

Make sure you check out Jody's post on Loneliness Can Break Your Heart.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Anger Spilling Into Everything

Written By Don Shetterly

Every day I keep seeing more and more that almost gives evidence to the human population spinning out of control.  It is sad in my view because surely as human beings, we can be more than that.


We point the fingers at one another.  We become disrespectful with our social media words.  We look at everyone who doesn't agree with us as some part of the problem, not as a human like us.

I see anger spilling into everything.  Maybe it is because we do not know how to let the anger go as a civilization.  Maybe it is that there is so much anger that it is feeding off of every facet of our lives.  I just see anger spilling out into the simplest of moments.

Lately, I've gotten replies on tweets that boggle my mind.  The ones responding are either trying to sound cute or just responding out of anger and spite and disrespect.  I struggle to figure it out at times.  Even if you try to ask for clarification, they come back with even more anger-filled comments.

I've had people try to tell me how to run my stuff and tweet and write.  My system does work for me, but if it bothers someone so much that they respond with anger, maybe they need not follow me.  I cannot please all people all the time.  I don't understand the control that some will try to push upon others.

But more importantly, we need to stop and check our anger at the door.  Anger is far too prevalent these days, and the more we nurture its growth rather than acknowledging it and letting it go, the more we will harm ourselves and all humans.

This world doesn't need more anger hurled at itself.  The world needs respect and love and compassion.

It is up to each one of us what we do and how we do this that makes all the difference.  If you connect into anger every day, that's what you are going to get back out.

While anger is spilling into everything these days, it is up to us to not be a part of that and show something different by our lives.  We alone can do that or we alone can add to the problem.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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A Simple Touch Can Change So Much

If you read my blog post from yesterday on "Traumatized By Seizures", you will understand more of what I am writing today.  All too often we are just not fully connected to life, and we fail to see that a simple touch can change so much.

I'm sure we would all agree that healthy touch is good, but why is it we live in a society where touch is not honored and celebrated?  If it were, everyone would be having weekly massages and sharing hugs with one another.  Yes, I know there are some that do this, but it is more the exception than the norm.

When I went through the seizures of Conversion Disorder, I was so frightened and I felt so alone.  Yes, people were there with me, but deep inside I wanted someone to help comfort me.  I wanted to feel supported.  I wanted to know I wasn't going through this alone.

Yet, no one touched me.   No one supported me.  Everyone just stared at me through their own frightened eyes.

I have now realized that just a simple touch is what I needed.  That simple touch could have changed so much in me.  My eyes fill up with tears as I think of how alone I felt in those moments.

If you want to inflict further pain and trauma on someone, just withhold touch in a moment like this.  If you want to change someone's life, use a simple touch and see what happens.

Touch doesn't have to be extravagant and skilled.  All you need is touch that says, "I care about you or I love you."  It can be as simple as laying your hand on someone's shoulder or touching their arm.  It can be as simple as lightly caressing their arm or back, or even holding on to their hand with strength and courage.

A simple touch just requires that you show up, not to manipulate or cause anything to happen, but just to be there in that moment without judgment or preconceived ideas of what should happen.  Touch can be so light, but with your presence and your heart, you can affect so much in another person.  It can be most powerful when you are just holding the space for someone.

We can see what anger and hatred and a lack of healthy simple touch is doing to our world.  We have the power to change that.  We don't have to wait or depend upon anyone else to do it for us.

For a long time though, I was so afraid of simple touch because of how badly my body was beaten, abused, and traumatized as a small child.  It took me a lot of hard work to accept touch and to accept a hug.  If you're in doubt, ask permission from someone before hugging and touching.  In that small act of asking them permission, you might just be helping them to take major leaps in healing.

Regardless, let's get away from being afraid of touching others and allowing ourselves to be touched.  Massage, in the professional sense, is about healthy touch, and the human body really needs that.

Let's make the world a better place by realizing that a simple touch can change so much in the life of another person.  Let's not forget it can also change OUR lives in big ways.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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If I Do Not Show Love

If I do not show love, than what value and benefit am I?

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I Don't Understand Hate by Don Shetterly

This video is one that I created on May 25, 2017.  Normally I don't show my song creation process on camera because it is just too difficult to create and not get nervous about being recorded.  However, this song is an exception.

The song in this video is called, "I Don't Understand Hate". (created 5/25/17)

After the week I had, seeing hate front and center, I almost gave up on humanity and said, "I don't want another thing to do with anyone."  Call me a drama queen if you want, it doesn't really matter at this point because I'm still livid over what took place.

Too many out there preach love and acceptance and tolerance, but it stops at the point when someone else does not hold the same view.  I don't care which side of an issue someone is on, it happens from both ends.  I'm so tired of this behavior.  It is not what humans are.  It is not what our civilization is about in my view.

If I post certain topics, people get all up in arms.  Some just blow me away, because instead of seeing how it applies in their life, it is like - "HOW DARE YOU POST THIS"!  I've seen this in full display this week (well at least when I am writing this).

I try to learn from all people.  Yes, some irritate the daylights out of me more than others, but I try to learn.  I try to see what it is in them that I cannot stand or I have difficulty hearing.  Some things are just plain hateful and evil.  Some give no value to humanity.

I wish I had all the answers.  I wish I understood why people can preach love, and hate others at the same time.  It makes no sense to me.

I wish I understood why some preach tolerance, but yet hate anyone that does not agree with them.  Do we all have to walk to the same drum?  Do we all have to think alike, talk alike, and believe alike?  Can we not bring what we have to the table and together enhance all of our lives more?

I watch no TV news.  I read very few news articles.  I try to avoid most of the hot and heated discussions, because they offer nothing good for life in my view.  They are just a bunch of opinionated people screaming.  I'm sorry, but if no one is really listening, how is the screaming going to help?

We're all standing opposed to one another and if we continue this, our civilization will not make it.  Our planet will not endure.  Yes, there are things that make your blood boil, but if love and tolerance are your ideals in life, then engage those.  Don't engage the hate.  Don't spread the hate.  Don't be part of the hate.

The fear is so great right now that no one is seeing with a rational, consciously connected mind.  We see through the eyes of fear and we react with fear.  If not, we go to the default of numbness.

There needs to be balance.  It does not start with our leaders.  It starts with each one of us individually.  We are the collective civilization.  We can practice love and tolerance for others, not just make it a mantra we hold high.

The song in this video is my conversation with music about how "I Don't Understand Hate".  It seems confusing to me.  It seems less than human.  I don't get the insults or the attitude of "my way or the highway".  I don't get how we cannot even come together as human beings and beings of light with a soul that is pure, but we can stand opposed to anyone that thinks differently than we do.

May our souls find awareness and consciousness.  May we expel the hate in this world through the actions of love we portray.

Listen to the sounds in this YouTube video of Don Shetterly playing on his piano.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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How Can You Share Love With The World

The picture of the candle comes from the vigil at Lake Eola on June 19, 2016.  I will never forget that moment of that day.  After the horrendous attack on the Pulse nightclub, I saw people come together from all walks of life to honor the memories of these individuals.  No longer was the LGBT community an outcast in Orlando. I saw hearts and lives changed in spite of the evil and hatred that was inflicted upon the victims and the city.

This candle to me reminds me of just how much love that was present in that place.  It was so strong that you could just feel it and it brought tears to my eyes, it lifted my heart and it helped me see others in a different way.

Why can we not have that love in our hearts for one another, rather than the divisive hatred that is so readily displayed these days?  We will not make it if we stand with hatred in our hearts towards one another.  Only love will get us through those difficult times.

How can you share love with the world today? 

 

How can you inspire yourself to love more? 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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