Reflections On My Birthday

Written By Don Shetterly

As I approach the day I entered this world, I'm drawn to the bigger view and purpose of my life.  If I live to the expected length of life, I'm well past half way through my life.  It makes me stop and pause to contemplate what this means.


I don't care how much I get ahead in this world to make someone else wealthy.  I've already been down that road and I saw how many employers (contract work and regular corporations) only care about their bottom line.  Their employees and contractors are human chum that can be replaced at any time.  I have no desire to be a part of that world any longer.

I don't care how many things I have in life.  In fact, I keep trying to de-clutter and reduce what I already have.  Things are not important to me.  They are temporary.  They are not the human experience to me.  I don't need the latest and greatest phone or electronics or the most beautiful and expensive house and car.  There is far much more important to me than material possessions.

It doesn't matter what the latest gossip of the day is or what celebrity has done what lately.  It doesn't matter if I'm up-to-date on the most recent news headline of the day, for most of it is just fear replicated over and over to the masses.

I see things more clearly now than I ever have in my life.  I see that friends and loved ones are what matters.  Losing people close to me makes all those that come into my life that much more special.

Experiences Are Far More Valuable...

I see memories and experiences being far more valuable than any possession I could buy.  They give me a richness and fullness in life that nothing in a store could ever do.

I see that purpose and personal growth far outweigh anything the masses push as being important.  I know there is more in life and I want to partake of every morsel I can get.

Life is much more about finding myself and growing and learning and loving every facet of life I can discover.  It is about awakening to so much more, not succumbing to the latest water-cooler talk that happens in our day.

I want to make a difference in this world and although I have friends who tell me that I have, I feel that there is so much more to accomplish.  I feel like I have a life that craves much more and sees more.  I feel more, and so things that others may discount become monumental to me.  I cannot hold a blind eye to them.  I cannot shut them off as if they do not exist.

As my life and years proceed, I'm learning to let go and realize that in letting go, I gain so much.  In the letting go of past pain, my life is healing and opening up in ways that I never even could believe were possibilities.

 

Twenty-six years ago today, my life came to a standstill.  I was paralyzed and on my last breaths of air as I tried to travel toward the bright white light.  I heard then, "it is not your time, " and now I understand more and more what those words meant so many years ago.

I have no clue what tomorrow holds for me, but I am content in knowing that today I allow my life to connect with others, hoping that I help them lift their own lives up from pain and despair.  I hope that by learning how to love myself, I can offer and show love to the world, healing it of the pain and distress it is experiencing.

May my life in the next year to come be more than it is today.  May I get to that year marker and look back in awe of possibilities I could not even fathom at this very moment today.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Reflection On My Birthday

Cake my mom made me
for one of my birthdays

This year I am drawn to this important day in a much different perspective.  For some reason my mind is focusing on reflection on my birthday unlike at any other time in my life.  Sure, I often think about where I am in relation to where I have come from, but this year it is different.  It is hard to explain in many ways, but I find myself looking deeper within.  I think of Raffiki in the Lion King that was telling Simba - Look Deeper!

In the past year, I've been through some very big highs and I've also walked through some very deep lows.  At times I didn't want to keep going, but through those very low points, I found the source deep within me to turn around and charge up the hill.  In those low moments, some unexpected things happened that I could never have guessed in a million years.

Even though difficulties still loom in my life, I have got so much to be thankful for and there are some wonderful people in my life.  If I focused only on the difficulties, I would be lying to myself in the perspective of my life.  I need to pause and take notice that even in the most difficult of times, the beauty that is around me is all part of my life as well.

Happy Birthday Mom

Dear Mom,

Even though you are no longer here, I cannot let the day go by without remembering your birthday. You always made birthdays special around our house with the beautiful cakes you would make for us and even the choice of what you would fix for a meal that night. A birthday was always our special day and we didn't have too many of those growing up.

I just want to remember you on this day since you are on my mind. Yes, I still remember when I tried to make my first cake for you on your birthday. I learned that you had to let a cake cool before you frosted it. It didn't matter though to you because it was the thought that counted.

Thank you Mom for staying close by me. I feel you around and I wish that our family could be so different than it is. I am not sure if it will ever be a close family or even a family that at least is able to be together for a moment here and there. All our family does it fight, abuse and act as if they are self righteous. I so wish that was different.