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| Written By Don Shetterly |
They will tell you that they are what they claim, but when you read their social media responses and postings, it leaves a lot to be desired. You can quickly see that what they say, does not match up with what they do.
Of course, many will write some flowery responses as if they know what is going on and you don't. When that happens, I can see through it from a million miles away.
It always amazes me how much people will condescendingly tell you, their thoughts after reading only a few words in something you share online. They might not even read the link that corresponds to it, but it doesn't stop them from enlightening you on their thoughts.
There are so many times I see replies preaching to me about how I need to live my life. Yet, the person doesn't know me. They don't know what I've been through. Often, they don't know what I'm struggling with at this moment. It does not stop them though. They must enlighten you with their response.
A long time ago, I found that instead of telling others what they should do, share with them how you've dealt with the same situation. Let them know, what worked for you and what didn't! Tell them the pitfalls you found along the way. Make sure you share with them how difficult it was and how maybe at times you almost gave up.
Telling other people what you think they should do, causes undue stress to them. It shows you really don't care what they are going through because you make it about what you have experienced.
When someone is struggling and hurting, the last thing they need is someone interjecting their misguided unresolved issues on them. Yes, we may think we're doing something good, but turn the tables around on yourself.
Remember back to when you struggled with a difficult thing and what would your reaction have been? No, don't go easy here on yourself and give yourself a pass. Really be brutally honest with yourself, and I've got a feeling, if someone else told you what you're telling them, you wouldn't appreciate it. It wouldn't be as helpful as you think it is.
When people are struggling and hurting and walking through the fire, they need to know there's a point beyond where they are at. They need to know that if they reach out when they start to fall, someone will be there with a hand to help steady them.
Of course, if you have not healed yourself, then this will be hard to do. In fact, I believe that there are so many wounded people walking around acting as if they are enlightened when in fact, they have not healed themselves. You don't' have to be fully recovered to help others, but you need to be walking the path. These days though, we claim we are, but we don't have much to show for it.
At the end of the day, learn how to truly be there for others with heartfelt compassion. Learn how to engage your own feelings and emotions, not make yourself out to be a robot who has none. Be human and be authentic because people can relate to that, much more than if you start telling them how they should think, feel, or live.
Before you think you don't do this, my guess is that you do. It is so prevalent on social media and in real life these days, that most can no longer see it. It is no longer obvious to them. Their eyes have become blinded by their own thoughts, pain, and unhealed experiences of the past.
Be more than you are! Connect with people from your heart. People hurting and in pain will be able to see through what you are shoveling out the door.
Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly
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