Respect

I see a lot of name calling these days in our society and throughout the world.  I'm quite sure I am not the only one that sees this.  Our news and social media feeds are full of it.  It is political season and so its part of the "political game" anymore which is beyond sad.

Respect is not something that our society seems to know.  What was once considered rude and ill-mannered to say is now just the normal talk of the day.  It used to be said more in private and now to engage readers and get views, it is said as if it is the latest tidbit of the day.

I find it sad and disgusting to be honest.  I grew up in a home where my mom was disrespected.  She worked her butt off and all anyone wanted to do was sit their butts down in front of the TV while she waited on them hand and foot.  She worked a full time job too, but there were far too many lazy ones in our house.

Said the monster in the house...

I saw my mom, a beautiful and caring and compassionate lady, being disrespected and beat and screamed at because of my father's anger and my older brother's childish "all about me" rantings and shenanigans.  It was always something she did wrong to provoke it of course and the begging of forgiveness was always done.  "I'm so sorry - I don't know what got into me - I will never do it again - but you should not upset me when I've had a bad day" said the monster in the house.

I see women being shown no respect and it bothers me to no end.  I am saddened by it.  I am full of rage and anger over it.  Yet, where do I go with my anger and rage and sadness?  Do I scream like everyone else?

If I scream, no one is listening anyway.  So, I turn to writing the words that I do in hopes that it will change someone.  It isn't the other person that needs to change, it is each one of us individually.  If we are not part of the solution, we are just as much a part of the problem that we abhor!

Everyone deserves our respect...

Women, children, people different from us and people we can't stand to be around deserve our respect.  We need to respect others, even if we've been taught not to respect others.  Our parents taught us what they know, but that does not mean we need to stay stagnated in our life and repeat their beliefs and teachings.  It is time for each one of us to do some serious soul searching and clean out our own closets.

Respect comes from what you allow to take up residency in your own heart.  It is an outward manifestation of what is inside of you.  You either respect people and show love or you spout the latest lines of hatred found on social media and the news.

Respect is something we all deserve and if we deserve it, then we need to give it out to others.  If we fail to respect others, than we have failed to respect ourselves.  Let us lift the world up by showing what we can be in this society, not just how low we can go with one another.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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When Is Crying Okay?

In research studies, it has been shown that women cry more than men in western societies but in societies where women have fewer rights, they cry less than women of western societies.  Cultural influences often play a major role in determining who cries and the frequency of which they cry.  Many people are often ashamed of crying and won’t admit to it, especially men.

In a 2004 research study in the UK by the Social Issues Research Centre sponsored by Kleenex, suggests that attitudes toward men crying may be changing.  90 percent of women and 77 percent of men felt that over the past 20 years, it is more acceptable for men to cry and that it is unhealthy not to cry.

It was considered appropriate for men to cry because of a birth, death or if you were physically hurt (41%).  Some felt it was okay to cry during moving moments (26%).  It is important to note that these are the moments that are the most common triggers for men to cry.

However, while women would full on bawl, men were more prone to choke back the tears.  Just as men were taught when they were boys, that big boys don’t cry.  Strong boys don’t cry!  It is amazing to me, just how conditioned we are beginning very early in our life.  It is important to note that both men and women said they were likely to respond more positively to men who cried softly than they were to a man crying uncontrollably.


Further Reading:
1)  Men And Women Cry Differently
2)  Newborns And Crying Babies
3)  Biology Of Crying
4)  Stress Relief and Crying



Sources Of Information:

1)  Read It And Weep, Crybabies - Wall Street Journal, May 4, 2011
2)  The Science Behind Your Tears - HealthyLifeCt.com


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Blog Post & Images (c) 5/24/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

If any part of this post is used or shared, a link back to this site is required.
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/
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Men And Women Cry Differently

According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal (May 4, 2011, Read It And Weep, Crybabies), women are biologically wired to shed tears more than men.  While I’m sure that some men would love to take this information and use it to prove a point, I find it interesting that there is a physical and biological difference between men and women.
 
The actual cells of the tear glands look differently in women and men.  The tear duct is larger in a man which allows the men to hold more tear production than women.   Since a woman is not able to store as much tears, she is much more biologically inclined to shed tears than a man is.
 
According to the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) article, there is research to suggest that testosterone helps raise the threshold between emotions and act of crying.  Since men have a greater amount of testosterone, it helps put the brakes on to keep a man from crying.

In an article in the NY Daily News, the tears of a women sends a chemical signal as the man gets close enough to sniff them  and the tears of sadness may temporarily lower his testosterone level.  The glands that secrete tears have receptors for sex hormones.  It has been hypothesized that the reason for this chemical signal is a biological way of lowering aggression in men.

In addition, we are taught in society that it is more okay for little girls to cry while we tell boys that big boys don’t cry.  In many societies, it is considered a sign of weakness to cry and people, who cry, especially boys, are picked on as a result.


Further Reading:
1)  When Is Crying Okay?
2)  Newborns And Crying Babies
3)  Biology Of Crying
4)  Stress Relief and Crying



Sources Of Information:
1)  Read It And Weep, Crybabies - Wall Street Journal, May 4, 2011
2)  The Science Behind Your Tears -  HealthyLifect.com, July 19, 2010
3)  Tears Are A Turnoff To Men - NY Daily News.com, Jan 7, 2011


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blog Post & Images (c) 5/24/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

If any part of this post is used or shared, a link back to this site is required.
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/
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