I'm afraid to go out. I'm afraid that others might think I'm gay and shoot me. I want to hide. I want to sleep. My heart aches for all those in this horrible Orlando Massacre.
How do I make sense of this? One individual wants me to blame a group of people. Another individual says, "no, blame this!" Yet, others are quick to tweet and judge and pronounce condemnation on the world, on a country, on religion, on gays or whatever else they think it is. They are all experts of course, in their own minds. Yet, their logic has hid under a rock.
Everyone wants to help, donate, make a difference - and that is good. Yet, no act you can do seems like it is enough. No amount of money can make up for the pain you feel watching all those who went through things that are hard to imagine.
We become angry...
We become angry at the shooter. We become angry at those who minimize, or we blame the ones that are suffering. What kind of God delights in punishing a group of people in this way, as some off-balance religious people would say? I'm not going to give them their self-gratifying sense of ego by glorifying the name of these religious zealots.
We blame ourselves. We blame everyone. Yet, blame is never enough. Yet, blame will never heal, but we have more than plenty of it.
We cry out for change...
We cry out and hope for change, but yet we do nothing. We cry out that things must change, but they seldom do. We cry out for the our friends we will never see again, but yet it feels like the forces against making this right are more concerned with lining their pockets with cash, than they are about making something happen.
We go through our day as zombies, thinking about all those lives which were taken in a second; the remaining tweets, the last videos and the last voicemails. That is all that's left - beside our memories. They were our sons, daughters, lovers, partners, husbands, wives, friends, brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers. They are now gone. Nothing will bring them back.
What's next? No one can say! Where do we go from here? No one knows. How do we begin to heal? That is difficult question to answer.
The foundation for many gays has been shaken in the shock of a massacre. Is it safe for gays to live in this world or will others be killed just for being who they are? The only crime these people committed was loving life and having fun while being themselves. One hateful and judgmental ignorant fool made that determination because of his own beliefs and from that which he had been taught. It almost looks like he did it to please his father but I could be wrong. That's only speculation, not fact.
The shock of a massacre doesn't just go away. It will be with the Orlando community for a long time. It will permeate every area of life and become a hidden poison locked away in the minds and bodies of those left behind. It is part of the LGBT legacy now.
Yes, we can and will find ways to heal, but it comes at a price. It comes at a price that was too high. The price is raised every time we hear the political grandstanding of the day.
Together we will make it...
Together is the way we will make it through this. Together as we look out for one another and feel the love and companionship we all share, may our hearts not close with bitterness to all people. May the pain we feel, not only be replaced with a new awareness of life, but motivate us to remember in ways we cannot imagine. May those ways be positive for the world.
Let us not forget that this process will not end tomorrow. It will not end next week. It may never fully end, but in all things, let us remind ourselves that we have to take care of ourselves. We have to reach out when we need to, because this pain is great and no one should have to bear it alone.
May this Orlando community become stronger and may we stand up against the hate and intolerance and religious judgmental fools of our day.
To leave everyone reading this with something that I find helpful to do, please read "The Importance Of Breathing" or click the image below. It is something that we forget in times like these.
Please feel free to leave your comments below if you want. Keep them respectful as I do moderate all comments.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
- You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.