Growing up, I was abused by my father, older brother, and some unknown individual that went to a church we went to and found me in the church basement bathroom. All of these people messed with my mind something fierce and many of them told me that they were doing this because "God wanted to show his love to me". They did it because God told them to do it.
It messes you up...
I'm sure in their sick and twisted minds, they believed what they were telling me. When you're taught from a little kid on up, that if God gets angry at you, you are going to that bad place, this stuff screws your mind up. It really messes you up because you're not allowed to breathe, eat, or think anything different than what they teach you about God.
What makes me really want to puke my guts out at the thought, is when I see the baptism video of my older brother on Youtube. Once again, he rededicated his life to Jesus. Jesus forgave him of all his sins once again. I've lost track how many times that has been now. He had a good teacher, because my father was the exact same way.
Here's the blog post that I just referred to about the baptism video of my older brother.
Of course, it sickens me to see how his childhood friends stand up for him and act as if he is some poor victim. Yes, I'm sure he was abused too, but unlike him, I didn't go on and abuse others. He made that choice and all the forgiveness by Jesus will never change that choice in my mind.
These goodie-two-shoe family of Christians that support him act like I'm the brainwashed one. They act like I'm the criminal and the bad person for daring to break the silence and expose what they did. I guess, I should take some solace in these fine upstanding Christians that got caught by the IRS for how they ran their shady businesses. Hey, that's okay. You can lie and cheat and steal and God will forgive you, but don't you dare expose a child abuser because you are the bad person. Maybe that is why they built that church for a community I lived in?
Sickened by Child Molesters...
I know, I've been through this area of my healing many times and I have made great progress. At least I can attempt to be respectful in what I write here, unlike before where the language would have been much worse. Even though I try to get away from it, it still haunts me. I'm still sickened by the way these child molesters are treated and how the enablers feel sorry for them.
It isn't just the Catholic church that abuses their little boys and girls either. This was all done while we attended a Baptist church of the GARBC (General Association Of Regular Baptist Churches) with M.O. Burman as the minister. It also happened in other churches too because we skipped around many times. Life was go to church and pray and sing hymns to Jesus on Sunday and then Sunday afternoon, go home and abuse those weaker than you or at least the children and your siblings (and the wife).
I'll never understand most likely how the sick and twisted are coddled by those that enable them while shouting praises to God in the highest. I'll never understand why there are some that steal the innocence of a child. It will always be a mystery to me.
I keep working it...
For now, I keep trying to continue my own healing in child abuse. I've made tremendous strides over the years, but sometimes the anger of what I see by the ones that abused me attempts to engulf my own life. What I went through lasted for most of my growing up years and believe me, it is not easy to free myself completely from it. I keep working on it though!
You can read more about this church we went to in the blog post, Haunted By Ghosts Of The Past.
Question Of The Day
We're you abused in the name of religion or God or a church? Feel free to leave a comment if you were.Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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