My Journey with Kabbalah

Note:  Links have been removed from this post because payment by Emily Olsen of Perennial Relations was not made and emails requesting fulfillment of their obligations were not answered.  

If emily@perennialrelations.com does respond and pay for this blog post as promised, I'll gladly restore the links and remove this notice.  I made this agreement with Emily in good faith and expected it to be honored.  It has not been honored. 

I did like the content of this blog post and have great respect for the Kabbalah Center even though I lost a tremendous amount of followers for posting it.

(Sponsored post by Kabbalah Center)

Kabbalah means different things to various students, but it has been nothing short of a total life transformation for me. I have practiced as an attorney in New York for more than a decade now, and I have been fortunate to have all the financial security that I need to provide a comfortable life for my two children.

However, it only took about three years of practicing law at a major law firm to find myself completely underwhelmed with my circumstances. Even though I had landed a prestigious career and had all of the comforts of an impressive salary, my life felt empty and almost meaningless. The birth of my children forever changed my life for the better, but outside of my interactions with them, I was a shell of a human.

In my neighborhood and surrounding community, there are actually a large number of people who study Kabbalah. I actually first learned about it from a friend who had been practicing Kabbalah for about seven years before introducing it to me.

Even though I felt overwhelmed at first with the magnitude of some of the initial teachings, I came to embrace the reality that this type of study would take years to fully immerse myself in. I approached it with serious vigor and a commitment to uncovering at least the broad scope of the hidden secrets of the universe.

Although I did not fully understand everything that I was reading and learning, I knew that this was only the beginning of opening my eyes, ears and brain to the spiritual knowledge that could fulfill my life in the way that I had been yearning for.

After just six months of study, I felt my body start to react to the spiritual knowledge it was receiving. I even started to stand taller because it felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. I was more present in all of my interactions with my children, and I found myself less stressed about my position at work. I even found the inner peace to rekindle some strained relationships with family members.

All of this would not have been possible for me without the sound teachings of the Kabbalah Centre. This wonderful center has been teaching Kabbalah to all kinds of students since 1965. I was concerned that my lack of knowledge about the Jewish religion and Hebrew would make the studies too advanced for me, but this was not the case at all. In fact, my lack of hardly any religious knowledge was not an impediment to my learning at the Kabbalah Centre. I found that I was embraced just as I was and received instruction that was specifically tailored to my circumstances.

One of the things that the Kabbalah Centre emphasizes in its teachings is that they are not incompatible with religion. Instead, these teachings are more of a supplement to religion and serve to help connect us with the unknown universe. The Kabbalah Centre allows students to explore all of the mysteries of the universe without having to arrive at a precise answer for all of the larger and incomprehensible things around us.

The universal principles taught at the Kabbalah Centre apply for all types of people throughout all walks of life. I have connected with a diverse and welcoming community of students, which has allowed me to pursue my studies at an even deeper level and appreciate the all-encompassing nature of the principles taught at the Kabbalah Centre. The openness of the students at the Kabbalah Centre to engage in meaningful discussions has certainly augmented my personal growth.

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This has been a sponsored post by the Kabbalah Centre (click here).

Please visit their site for more information. https://www.youtube.com/user/kabbalah

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Saying It Does Not Make It True

My eyes are doing the eye roll.  You know, when you read something and it makes your head spin around a few times too many.  I try hard to practice what I preach and I probably fail sometimes just like others.

Reading on the social media feed, I saw someone share things about listening to others and respecting them.  I saw how they posted stuff that said actions speak louder than words.  By that point, I was thinking - wow, someone else that sees this part of life.  And then, it happened....

Yep, I began to read more of what they posted online in their social media account.  Do I really need to say what I saw?  Yep, it was more of the stuff that you would see just about anywhere on social media.  It was the stuff they were rallying against.  They were doing exactly what they were so against.

Everyone tells others what to do...

It seems like in these days, everyone tells others what they should do and how they should think, but it is meant for those that don't see things in life the way they do.  It is meant more as a whipping belt than as something that is truly good for not only everyone else, but for them!

I don't care what side of the political isle you are on or if you are religious or not, we as humans love to beat one another up every day.  The rhetoric that is being spewed on the internet is so toxic, that poisonous words are looking for safer waters.

It is hard to read anything online these days and it is just not politics.  Someone can post a pretty picture online or a nice video, and some will love it and others will degrade it.  The comments will get so divisive and hurtful, that it makes my head spin.

Do we not have an ounce of love...

I wonder if humans just hate everyone and anyone these days.  Do we not have one ounce of love in our life, or are we just out for our thoughts, beliefs and life as we see it?  It sure doesn't feel like anyone out there that claims they have love, knows how to practice it or put it in action.

In my own family, I see my holier-than-thou brother and his friends that say they preach love, but their actions are anything but this.  What you see them say and share on their social media feeds shows anything but love.  Yet, they use the "love they preach" as a bully stick to beat you into submission of what they perceive to be truth.

Love is absent in social media...

I'm so saddened by what I see playing out in social media and the news these days.  There is nothing wholesome about it.  There is nothing human about it.  It is pure poison and toxicity.  Love is absent.

It isn't the enemies that we cannot see which are the most evil in our world.  It is how we treat one another and how much hatred we harbor for one another that allows evil to thrive and grow.

It is in how we have lost the love in our own heart, that we allow the ego to rule our thoughts, words, and actions as if they are somehow virtuous.  Even though we proclaim our actions are right and justified, we fail to see that love is being abolished every minute we take a breath.

If we want the world to change and if we want others to change, this change needs to start within us.  We need to connect with love, rather than hate if we want others to love us.  We need to connect with understanding, if we want others to understand us.

All the screaming and toxic words being hurled in social media or in the world will never convince anyone that their motives and actions are born out of love.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Sinning Does Not Cause Depression Or Anxiety

I couldn't believe it when I read it.  I mean, come on - there's enough people hurting in the world without trying to make up stuff that isn't true.  Depression and anxiety are very real things that many have to deal with every day.

It pains me to see anyone that suffers from depression or anxiety have to live with the ignorance that is out there on this subject.  Today though, took the cake!  It was a horrible display and makes me absolutely sick.

In the comment I read as you can see here in the image to the right, they said that depression and anxiety was caused by sinning.  Its strictly a religious thing to them.  Now, the people that made this claim are holier than thou religious people.  I get that, but it still doesn't excuse it under any circumstances!


Unfortunately these people have no clue what biology is about or what mental health issues truly involve.  They must think that medicine and science are woo woo and that their misinterpreted views of religion are the only truth out there.  In fact, I know that's how they see things.  Of course, they are allowed to hold whatever beliefs they want, but when someone starts forcing it down others in their time of distress, then I've got big issues with people like this.

I grew up in this mindset and remember when I went through Conversion Disorder, I got some of this same stuff shoved at me.  One lady told me that I didn't need to go to the hospital, I just needed to pray about it.  Never mind that I was paralyzed and could not walk.  Of course, she was speechless when I looked at her and said, "If you broke your arm, would you just pray about it or would you go to the doctor?"  You see, these people sometimes don't engage the brain cells before they open their mouth.  I know, that's a harsh statement, but sometimes you can really hurt others with these misguided words.

Anxiety and depression are real.  Suicide is real.  I've been through both and praying to God didn't cure that because it was physical and biological conditions.  You can act as if they aren't real, but just because you don't think they are real, doesn't mean you are correct!

Sometimes our words are not only ignorant, but they are hurtful.  Imagine a person that is struggling to just make it through a day and you spew your unfounded beliefs upon them like this.  It could just be the last straw in their life.  They may say enough and find a way to end things.  Your words do far more damage than you may think at times.

This is plain ignorance in my view and it angers me when I read this stuff.  If you believe in God, I would think you would surely believe that he created all things, including doctors.  Sometimes, it is better to not just claim you know something, but be silent and let the professionals help the ones that need help.  Let the compassionate people care for others and just go over into your little cave in the ground and hide for another century.

So many people deal with depression and anxiety.  They have had to be strong for far too long without any escape and it isn't an easy road dealing with it or trying to heal your life and find your footing.  Its tough at the very least.

I've been through anxiety, depression, and suicide.  I know what it is like to freak out in a store or in a car.  I know what it is like to struggle in an elevator or an enclosed room.  I know what it is like to deal with the anxiety attacks that just come out of nowhere from the slightest trigger you can't even see.

I know what depression feels like and how lonely and lost you can get.  I know the despair, the pain and the misery.  I know just how difficult it is to keep going in a day when nothing matters and  you could care less.  It is not just a temporary sadness, but something that goes much deeper.

I know what suicide is like.  I've struggled far too many times to do it and fortunately I was never successful.  When you get in those moments, nothing else matters, but comments such as the one above do nothing to help.  Suicide is a horrible moment where all that matters is hanging on long enough to make it through to the next moment.


Our words can hurt.  Our religious piety does no good for other humans.  If we truly want to help others, we need to listen with our hearts and minds.  We need to be there without judgment and condemnation.  We need to treat them as they are human, not as they are less than.

Stop the judgment of anxiety and depression and suicide, because they are real things that people have to deal with.  They aren't a punchline to get more people into your church!  Be a force of love and compassion to people, helping them find their way in this difficult world.  Don't add to their pain.  Show them love and compassion.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Preaching hate

I'm sorry if this makes some uncomfortable, but its the only way I can deal with the tragedy in Orlando.  I've had people stop following me on Twitter today because I talked about hate. I guess they don't like the fact that I'm gay.  I'm not going to apologize for this.  I am who I am and if anyone cannot accept me, it was nice meeting you.

I'm not sure how you can say the following statement and immediately watch scores of people unfollow.  I could think of all kinds of words to say about that action, but I won't step down into the depths of hatred and return the favor.  Take a look at what I said and see if that is a bad thing.  In my mind, it isn't.  Who knows, maybe people who hate are somehow more intelligent.  Maybe that's it.  I don't know.

You can't preach hate every day and expect a different outcome. Hate only breeds hate.

— Don Shetterly (@mindbodythought) June 12, 2016

Its sad.  We have hate that is fueled by the preaching of hatred across this land.  Whether it is in the church pulpit or the political arena, it seems we just like to hate.  We teach hatred as if it was a key in life.  All the time, we don't even know that we are so hateful to others.  Too many puff their chests up and act like somehow they are better and more superior.

In fact, most people that show their hatred are the ones that cry about how much of a victim they are.  They claim that if they can't spew and forth their hatred on to others at every turn in life, that somehow they are being victimized and silenced.  They don't stop to see just how their words, thoughts, and actions are some of the most hateful things that they produce.

Some out there think that if you don't believe in the way their religious teachings command, that you are stopping them from exercising their freedoms.  Nothing could be further from the truth, but to those that hate, truth is the last thing that fills the voids in their mind.

Not everyone believes the way you do.  It is called freedom of religion and freedom of speech.  However, when you push your beliefs upon everyone else, you've made the entire world less human.  You haven't helped the least among you and you sure don't exemplify the words of the Bible that you so vehemently claim you practice.  I'm often surprised at how these individual do not know what is in the Bible that they spout at every turn.

The more we spew the hatred and divisiveness to one another, the more we set people in our world to see that it is okay to hate others.  Even if we are not smart enough to know we are spewing hatred, it does not excuse our words, thoughts, and actions.  The more hate is preached, the more you cannot expect a different outcome.

See, we're more worried about what others do in this country and world than we are about what we do.  We are more worried about how others don't measure up in our judging eyes, than we are learning to accept others and celebrate our differences.

Preaching hate is the norm of our day.  It is sad that it happens with such frequency.  I'm saddened by what I see on social media, by the politicians and the churches, and those that spew the hatred.  The more this happens, the more violence we will continue to see.

(click image to read)
 

Its horrible.  I sat here today, crying tears of sadness and pain for those that lost loved ones in this senseless and horrible shooting in Orlando.  Of course, everyone reaches for the political one-liners to spew even more hate.

When will we learn?  When will we understand that it isn't everyone out in the world that is the problem, but ourselves and our heart?  When will we learn that it is our thoughts, actions, and words that we portray to the world which can either build us up or tear us down.  If you're doing these things, you are just as much a part of the problem as those that are blinded by the hatred in their hearts.

I'm sorry if this blog post sound harsh, but it is how I see things.  I'm tired of being silent as to not offend anyone.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Abused In A Christian Church

It only takes a moment for a child to be abused sexually, but it continues to haunt the child for the rest of their life.  Sure, many child abuse survivors manage to find a way to thrive and get beyond it, but when you take the innocence away from a child, they live with that for the rest of their life.

Growing up, I was abused by my father, older brother, and some unknown individual that went to a church we went to and found me in the church basement bathroom.  All of these people messed with my mind something fierce and many of them told me that they were doing this because "God wanted to show his love to me".  They did it because God told them to do it.

It messes you up...

I'm sure in their sick and twisted minds, they believed what they were telling me.  When you're taught from a little kid on up, that if God gets angry at you, you are going to that bad place, this stuff screws your mind up.  It really messes you up because you're not allowed to breathe, eat, or think anything different than what they teach you about God.

What makes me really want to puke my guts out at the thought, is when I see the baptism video of my older brother on Youtube.  Once again, he rededicated his life to Jesus.  Jesus forgave him of all his sins once again.  I've lost track how many times that has been now.  He had a good teacher, because my father was the exact same way.

Here's the blog post that I just referred to about the baptism video of my older brother.

(click image to read)

Of course, it sickens me to see how his childhood friends stand up for him and act as if he is some poor victim.  Yes, I'm sure he was abused too, but unlike him, I didn't go on and abuse others.  He made that choice and all the forgiveness by Jesus will never change that choice in my mind.

These goodie-two-shoe family of Christians that support him act like I'm the brainwashed one.  They act like I'm the criminal and the bad person for daring to break the silence and expose what they did.  I guess, I should take some solace in these fine upstanding Christians that got caught by the IRS for how they ran their shady businesses.  Hey, that's okay.  You can lie and cheat and steal and God will forgive you, but don't you dare expose a child abuser because you are the bad person.  Maybe that is why they built that church for a community I lived in?

Sickened by Child Molesters...

I know, I've been through this area of my healing many times and I have made great progress.  At least I can attempt to be respectful in what I write here, unlike before where the language would have been much worse.  Even though I try to get away from it, it still haunts me.  I'm still sickened by the way these child molesters are treated and how the enablers feel sorry for them.

It isn't just the Catholic church that abuses their little boys and girls either.  This was all done while we attended a Baptist church of the GARBC (General Association Of Regular Baptist Churches) with M.O. Burman as the minister.  It also happened in other churches too because we skipped around many times.  Life was go to church and pray and sing hymns to Jesus on Sunday and then Sunday afternoon, go home and abuse those weaker than you or at least the children and your siblings (and the wife). 

I'll never understand most likely how the sick and twisted are coddled by those that enable them while shouting praises to God in the highest.  I'll never understand why there are some that steal the innocence of a child.  It will always be a mystery to me.

I keep working it...

For now, I keep trying to continue my own healing in child abuse.  I've made tremendous strides over the years, but sometimes the anger of what I see by the ones that abused me attempts to engulf my own life.  What I went through lasted for most of my growing up years and believe me, it is not easy to free myself completely from it.  I keep working on it though!

You can read more about this church we went to in the blog post, Haunted By Ghosts Of The Past.

(click image to read)

Question Of The Day

We're you abused in the name of religion or God or a church?  Feel free to leave a comment if you were.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Let Me Tell You How Wrong You Are

We are high and mighty these days in our society.  It doesn't take much for us to proclaim to the world what THEY should do!  The meme of our day seems to be, "LET ME TELL YOU HOW WRONG YOU ARE"!

I'll forewarn you, this blog post is a little bit of a rant on something that just grates on my nerves.  As always, I do try to write with a point that hopefully when you're done reading this, it may help see something a little differently.  At least, that's the goal.  So bear with me through this one.  Sometimes I just have to get on my soapbox!  

Let me tell you how wrong you are!

• Don't believe me?  Take a look at online social media, especially when it comes to politics.  Those that support a candidate view all others as stupid, broken, ill-informed, or uninformed.   No, this is not meant as a political discussion either. 

• Don't believe me?  Take a look at many of the religious postings in online social media.  Unless you believe like they do, they will not even talk to you.  They won't discuss things with you because it is their way or no way.  No, this is not meant as a religious discussion either.

My Recent Experience

In fact, I just had an experience the other day that proved this without doubt.  I was traveling.  The rental car company gave me a very big vehicle to drive.  I had no choice to take the car they gave me because of the way I rented it.  If I wouldn't have taken this car, I would have paid a lot more money.

Anyway, I'm driving to find something to eat and parking was limited.  Keep in mind, I am trying to get this vehicle in and out of a parking spot and that was not easy or comfortable for me.  It made me quite nervous and anxious.  My anxiety was extremely high.  Sometimes I get animated when the anxiety is high.

After circling the parking lot several times, I stopped to regroup and figure out what I should do.  Unfortunately I didn't realize for a minute or two that I was blocking a lady trying to back out of a parking space.  It was inadvertent.  The moment I realized what I had done, I moved from the spot I was in.

When I parked the vehicle, another lady came up and rolled down her window.  Apparently the person that I had inadvertently blocked in the parking spot, was her daughter.  She started out telling me how I needed to be more "CHRISTIAN".  I'm not even sure where that came from because it wasn't like I self-identified with that in any way.  It didn't matter when I tried to explain to her what had happened, she had already judged me to be this horrible person that got mad at her daughter and blocked her in.

We exchanged words and I gave her an earful back.   I normally don't do that, but this lady instigated this and would not stop.  She had to be right.  She had to tell me how wrong I was.  There was no backing down and somehow she was a holier-than-thou type of person telling me to be a better Christian.

When I walked away from her after I stood up for myself, I felt like someone had just covered me with icky slime.  I felt like I needed to take a shower to wash off all the evil junk she spewed at me.  I'm sure she went to her next prayer meeting and told everyone the story or at least her version of how awful a human being I was.

When we have the attitude of...

When we have the attitude of "let me tell you how wrong you are", we have lowered our self from the status of human into the status of something less than.  Thinking that we know it all and we can judge another person, does not even rise to an enlightened or spiritual person.

Later, after I brushed off what this lady did to me, I could not help but think that what if I had just had some horrible news that day or maybe I realized it was my last few days to live.  Would she have treated me differently, or was she so self-absorbed that she wouldn't have cared.  My point is, we never know what another is going through and to judge others and act this way to other people, could be very hazardous to their health and well-being.

This was not love that she showed.  If she was a christian, she maybe misunderstood the concept of love and judgment.  Unfortunately, it isn't this person only in situations like this.  It is far too prevalent in the world and something NO ONE should be proud of or endorse.  Yet, we all do!

So that is my soapbox.  I could have done without this event that day, but my greater point is that we need to stop and see others with love, not judgment.  It is not our place to cast judgment on others and tell them how wrong they are.  In fact, more times than not, we need to take an inventory in our own life of what we need to work on.

Here's another blog post that talks about judging others and makes some good points.  Click the image below to read the blog post, Before You Judge Me.

Click Here To Read

Let me know if you have been judged like this by others or if you do the same thing.  I'd love to hear your comments below.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Objective Truth In Science

This is a debate that has raged on for centuries and I'm sure what I write will barely move the meter much at all.  I come from a science background.  I've done research.  I have a degree in science, so if you discount what I'm saying, at least understand this much.

There are those that claim if it cannot be proved by science, discard it and dump it in the river.  They feel that it is either science that proves absolutely everything or nothing at all.  As soon as they make this clear, then go into their tirades against religion, alternative thoughts, and anything that doesn't agree with them.

Unfortunately even when the same people want to claim that belief has nothing to do with science, it is obvious that they don't realize that claim is nothing more then their own belief system.  Sure, they have some facts to back things up, but so do others that see the world through different eyes.  If you believe science has the answers, that is your belief system.  To fail to understand that is ignorance.

There are things that science cannot prove today as 100% fact or not 100% fact.  There are things in the past that science claimed was true, but were woefully ignorant and wrong.  Science is based upon theory that has facts to support it, but it does not account for everything we know or we think we know.

Even though religion thinks it has all the facts, it is woefully mistaken.  Religion uses belief based upon some (limited) facts of what really happened.  Through that belief, all truth is derived.  It is often at odds with science and I'm not here to give it validation or justification.

There are things we don't understand and in fact there is so much we don't understand.  Yet, we claim that science has all the answers.  Most of the time, I would agree but there are situations and circumstances that science is not able to prove that which we can see and experience.

Maybe science has not caught up to the time we are in.  Maybe science just doesn't know yet how to make sense of that which is before our eyes.  Does this mean science is not enough?  It may in the moment, but it could change in the future.  We don't need to shun science, but we need to put more effort into it, so that we can prove or disprove the unknowns.

To form such a rigid thought process of either religion or science having all the answers is ignorant at best.  To see the validity of both sides is to be an individual with a higher consciousness of thoughts.  You can't claim everyone that believes differently than you are wrong while claiming you don't have your own belief system called science.  You may be fooling yourself, but you're not fooling everyone.

Some latch on to what some say without question and gulp it down as if they have the ultimate set of facts and truth.  This is a recipe for missing what may be standing in front of their eyes.  I believe (it is my opinion) that in another 100 years or 1000 years, what we thought was ridiculousness now, may be a normally accepted truth based upon science.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/23/16 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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How We Treat Other People

When did we get to the point that we became snobs with one another.  You know, the point where we damn everyone else with their point of view and push our view only.  You know, the point where if you don't believe the way we do, then you are wrong?

Exactly how does that make us human?  How does that promote a higher level of consciousness if we're against everyone and everything they believe.  It's really sad in many ways for our society to practice this with gusto.

I grew up in a home and a church where you believed everything and anything that was told to you regardless if it was right or wrong or it fit or it made sense.  It didn't matter what you thought.  The only thing that mattered is what those in authority said was true.

These days we force everyone to follow our political beliefs and our religious beliefs.  If you don't, you are considered to be less than or wrong or some label placed upon you.  It doesn't matter if you are conservative or liberal.  It doesn't matter if you are religious or not.  It doesn't matter if you are of the new age philosophy or not.

Do Not Question

I've seen it since I was a kid in churches, in my home and around the world I grew up in.  I now see it in many of these companies online, especially the ones that do affiliate marketing.  Allowing anyone to give the slightest hint of questioning a company is like the worst sin you can commit.

All you have to do is look up a review on most products on the internet and I dare you to find one that isn't flattering and positive.  Yes, there might be some, but you don't see the honest review of what a product is all about in most searches. 

I was even forced to take down a blog post as an affiliate on a product and that angered me to no end.  I had no choice.  It was either take it down or risk considerable income.  There was no debate, no appeal and no one listened when I raised my concerns.

Yet, in my case, the blog post started out with the appearance that it was a negative review of the company, but if you read it all the way through, then you would see that it was actually a good post.  It showed the journey I took and transformation, which included some of the very same questions everyone else is asking.  The company and product missed the sales boat because of their own narrow mindedness.

Group Think

I'm always amazed at humans and society.  We know how to bring others into line with group think.  Sure, you can say what you want and we have a freedom (at least in this country) to say what we want, but if it goes against group think, there will be heck to pay.  It may be in politics or religions or in the job, community, or family.

Before you think that you don't participate in this, try saying something in your circle of people that goes against what they think or believe.  See how far you get before you get the rolling of the eyes, the clicking of the shocked faces or the silence of the key people.  See how long it takes before you notice how people look at you differently or out of disbelief.  See how long it takes before they gang up and smack you down?  Even in the groups that say they don't do this!

We have so many ways that we keep our circle in life within our means of what we want to hear, believe, speak, or think.  It happens every day.  Virtually no one is immune or able to hold this off.

In jobs, they want the best and the brightest, but when it comes to a differing opinion, they often want you to not share that with the boss.  After all, he/she doesn't understand what you all do, so it is far easier to just keep it between you and your immediate group and not rock the boat.

We Repeat What We've Been Taught

As young kids, our parents teach us so much.  Our minds are so impressionable at those times and so what is taught to us sticks with us for many years to come.  Whether it is completely true or not, our little minds have no way to discern these things.  It becomes fact for us as small children, long before we even realize it.

Unfortunately as we continue in life, we repeat what we've been taught.  We repeat it as proven fact, even if it is not.  We don't tend to question too much because if we do, we threaten the family unit.  We threaten the bonds that we have within the family unit.  Anything that does not build a cohesive unit is generally not allowed.

There is so much evidence of how we all do this, no matter who we are, or how enlightened we think we are.  Instead of going in and questioning all that was imprinted upon our young minds, we just continue to assume it was fact.  It isn't a matter that our parents are right or wrong, because most likely they were doing the same thing.  They didn't go in and question it either.

Selected Bigotry By Religions

I see this all the time and it really bugs me.  In fact, I just read a Facebook comment that said "if Christians and other people of faith were not required to accept and service the homosexual lifestyle choice and marriage against their will and faith, that basically the religious people wouldn't care so much.  Hmmm... let me think about that one some more.

I normally don't wade into the social issues much because there are so many people screaming.  It just bothers me when I see comments like this posted.  It feels like selected bigotry by religions.  Their statement makes them feel validated but that's about it.  It is highly disrespectful to gay people that they so vehemently hate.

Now, before you get all up in arms with me and accuse me of intolerance,  religions are protected in the constitution and they have buildings to go and preach at whatever they believe every single day of the year.  They take in lots of money in a year and while I don't think they use it wisely most of the time, they don't pay taxes on it.  Lots of people in the church earn a good living and some have a pretty nice income.  Some religions and people of faith understand things good and too many others show the evil side of religions.

Baptizing A Child Molester

Lord help me to not let my anger get the best of me.  Notice, I'm not saying "Lord help me to not be angry".  We're done past that point of no return.  I mean, after all, when I read the following, there is not much else I could do to stop that train into anger-ville.  It was on autopilot and it had already left the train station before I could even begin to put the brakes on.

Here's what got me very emotionally angry this morning - it was a post I saw.  I'll keep the name out of it, but the person that it belongs to, knows full well what is going on.

And before you decide to send me hate mail saying I'm bashing churches or religion, take some extra time and read my book and other articles on this blog.  It will help put this in context.  I'm not trying to bash anyone's religion, only what was done to me in the name of religion. Yes, I do realize there is a difference.

Forgiveness Haunts Survivors

For too many survivors, this single issue haunts them every day of their life.  Especially when you have been raised in a religious setting where you were brainwashed while abuse took place, the concept of forgiveness is like a knife being stabbed in your back.  To those that have not experienced this, they make the horrendous mistake of attempting to convince others that they must forgive in order to heal.

While forgiveness is a step of healing when the individual is ready for it, until they are at that point, it can be quite hurtful and harmful.  To clarify my statement, I'm referring to the mix-up in how forgiveness is often perceived and what it actually is to many people.  In all reality, forgiveness is not as cut and dried as people want everyone to believe.  It comes with a great deal of baggage that makes it one of the most difficult aspects of healing.

In my early days of life, I was raised in a church and forgiveness meant something totally different than it does in a healthy situation.  Forgiveness meant that you were to no longer talk about the "transgression or sin" that the person did.  It meant that event never happened of if you know it did, that you are now required to no longer see it as something that once happened.

Favorite Blog Posts Nov 2012

Blog :  The Good Men Project.com

Topic:  Soul Is Hard To Find
URL:   GoodMenProject.com/soul-is-hard-to-find
Date Posted:  11/05/11

I love reading the stuff that Rick Belden writes for the Good Men Project. This is a great site with wonderful insights that really cut through the clutter and BS of life.  This post is just one example and I urge you to check out the rest of his website, The Good Men Project (see link above). 

In this topic, so many of us grow up in religious homes and when we are young, these teachings really take over our life.  Being taught from an early age about how bad things are going to get us if we don't believe a certain way, continues on throughout our life.  It makes us vulnerable to other controls and manipulations in our society.  

I've come to learn that the most important spiritual practice I can have is to get to know myself deeper, each and every day.  It isn't about having religious beliefs or following some new age practice rituals.  It is about getting to know ever part of our being, and then once we think we've got it, we begin on a much deeper journey.

For many of us who were abused at the hands of those in a church or professed God to all corners of the world, these religious rituals mean very little.  Yes, they do influence life and our mind, but they no longer hold the control that they once did.  We are able to see through the fog of beliefs and recognize them for what they are, not for the truth that is perpetuated at will.  You can disagree with me all you want, but I've been to the mountain and see what is on the other side for myself.  I have no need to participate in this charade any longer.  It doesn't mean I am not spiritual, but I view it completely different than most of the world.

Don't Need Religion

These days, it seems like everyone has a little bit of it and too many have too much of it!  Wondering what I am talking about?  I'll tell you - it's religion!  Religion permeates every part of our society, our cultures, and our existence.  No matter what we want to believe or not believe, it impacts our life each and every day.  You can avoid it all you want, but it is still there doing its thing.

For those who know me, they know that religion is generally a 4 letter word in my mind.  After all, I had horrendous experiences with it from an early age until I got out of the church.  The first molester got me when I was just a few years old while going to the bathroom in a church.  I still remember hearing the congregation singing their hymns above us, as the molester was having fun with me in the downstairs basement bathroom.

Of course, it continued on to the caretakers of my life that told me how much God loved me and the way in which they were required to demonstrate that to me.  After all, how could anyone not want to be loved by God and in such a special way (insert sarcasm voice here).  The thing was, everyone turned their head to the emotional, physical and sexual abuse I was going through.  If they couldn't see what was happening, I'm sure it was just like the rest of our society who closes their eyes to the evil before them.

My Religion Is Kindness

I love some of the quotes that I see on the internet and I believe this one is by the Dalai Lama.  If it is not by him, please feel free to enlighten me and let me know who said it because I will make sure the right person gets credit.  It is just too good of a quote in my mind especially when we all get so hung up on religion these days in the world.

My Religion Is Kindness - Dalai Lama

New Age Nonsense Of Yoga

New Age Nonsense
Of Yoga

Today I came across a religious forum talking about how good Yoga was, but of course they had reservations.  In the words of the person, you had to be careful of this new nonsense that was part of Yoga.  Although they stated that it helped them to relax, they were very frightened by this practice.

I'm scratching my head at the ignorance here in these statements.  Yes, you can have your beliefs, but please evaluate them to see if they are founded upon fact, or just rooted in fear.  I've been to Yoga classes in my life and never once have I had someone tell me I must believe a certain way or follow some religion or new age thought that Yoga is based upon.  In many churches, if you don't follow their beliefs lock, stock and barrel, you're viewed as deficient in your life.

Religious Experience and Brain Scanning

Principles Of Neurotheology
By Dr. Andrew Newberg

In the movie, Religulous, Dr. Andrew Newberg was interviewed on his work in Neurotheology.  He studies show how religious experiences and practices impact the brain by doing brain scans of various religious people.  Gone are the days that we have to guess about what happens in a person when we can see it first hand through a brain scan.  This field of study is called neurotheology detailed in a book called "Principles of Neurotheology".

While people are in a very deep spiritual or religious state, these researchers do brain scans.   Some of the people they have studied include a Buddhist meditating, Sikhs chanting, and nuns praying.  They compare these brain scans to that of the person at a state of rest and observe the difference.   This research has given them a big opportunity to really see what happens within the mind and body when someone is taking part in a religious or spiritual practice.

Between Me, You And God

As I see the headlines regarding Warren Jeff's abuse of his nephew and many others, come across the news wire, I am saddened at the statement my eyes read.

Quoting from CNN.com, "He began to tell me that we were going to do God's will," he said Jeffs told him. "This is between me, you and God."

Such a profound statement that rips the fabric and essence of life from a little boy or girl, when they are abused by monsters such as this. Using religion to get their way and control the child is despicable beyond belief!

Unfortunately the words, that Brent Jeff's shared, that it was between me, you and God, are all too familiar to my ears. I heard these same words. While I am saddened that another little boy experienced these things, I'm somewhat in awe of the realization that I was not alone with this.