Just Let Someone Know You Care

In a tragedy or difficult time, sometimes the simplest thing can be the best thing.  We all think we have to come up with the right words, but that could not be further from the truth.  Just let someone know you care.

Your silence to a person going through difficult moments or a tragedy is hurtful.  It says, "I don't care."  It says, "you don't matter."

Of course, most likely you do care and most likely your friend or loved one does mean a lot to you.  Yet, if you don't show it, how do they know?  How do they know they are not just alone?

We all tell people to reach out and we are there for them, but are we really?   If we don't let them know and if we don't walk beside them through difficult moments and tragedies, we may as well be a million miles away.

Finding the right words...

Sometimes there is no best thing you can say to someone.  Often there is a loss of words and that is okay.  Just let them know through your heart and words and actions that you are there.  Don't make flowery suggestions or statements that are pie-in-the-sky claims.

Be real with others.  Show others that you love, that you truly love them.  Its all they need in a difficult moment or tragedy.  They just need to know someone cares.  They just need to know they aren't alone.  That is more then all the money in the world can buy.

Through a recent period of difficult moments and tragedies, there were far too many that say they care for me, that were absent.  Maybe they meant to getting around to be there.  Maybe they didn't know what to say.  Their silence hurt and cut through me like a knife.

More than a happy meme of the day...

If you know someone who is hurting, don't just give them a feel good, happy meme of the day.  Give them your heart so they are reminded of love.  Give them your feet, so they can continue to stand.  Give them your arms so they can rest and lean on you for support.

Don't be silent to them.  Don't think that they know how you feel about them.  Don't believe for one second that they understand you are there for them and that you love them without saying a word to them.  Don't think that even though you've told them a million times how much you care that they are remembering that in this current difficult moment. 

Don't let them stand alone in silence...

Difficult moments are tough.  Tragedies are even more tough to deal with in a day.  Don't fail those affected and struggling by leaving them to stand alone in silence and fear.

Just let someone know you care.  Don't be one of those that say they care, but fail to show it.  Be more than that.  This is my challenge.  Take a look at my blog post, "People Say They Care" or click on the image below to read it.

People Say They Care (click to read)

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Truly Connecting With People

There is a way to interact with other people.  All too often, we just go through our day sharing our likes and happy slogans online and in everyday life.  Unfortunately in those moments, we are not truly connecting with people.  We are just talking at or to people.

A long time ago, I learned that in order to truly connect with people who needed help and were hurting, preaching to them or telling them what they should do added very little to their life.

In fact, it often turned them away and hurt them to the core.  I see this happening so much in the world.  We are all too quick to tell others what they should do instead of really offering them a hand to hold and a ear to listen.

Do you really want to know how to truly connect with other people?  Begin by sharing yourself and your journey.  Share your pains and struggles.  Share your ah ha moments that changed your life in ways you could never imagine.  Share the rocks you stumbled over in your path and how you managed to crawl up out of the hole after being weary and bruised to the bone.

Learning There Is Only So Much You Can Do

Its easy to want to be superman or superwoman.  Its easy to want to be able to help or solve the problems of the day.  Yet, all too often, there is only so much you can do.  Learning this is not always easy and often takes repeat lessons to fully grasp.

I see people write flowery thoughts to others in times of great difficulty and while I'm sure they mean well, the words become foundations of sand.  The minute the water levels rise, the foundations wash away.  I do understand that its not always easy to know what to say and when to say anything.  I get that.  What I don't quite understand is how empty the words can often be to someone struggling to go one more day.

When I've been through the pain and rough moments of life, I often cherished those that would just sit there with me and listen.  They would listen to my stories as I told them through the tears and pain I felt.  They didn't try to tell me to get over it or move on or that some entity would make everything better.  They just listened and they listened with an open ear, having no judgement or preconceived ideas of what should or should not happen.