What Is Your Idea Of Rest

Written by Don Shetterly

I saw this question posted online by a friend and so I thought I would write about it.  What is your idea of rest?  Doesn't it sound simple and straightforward?

Unfortunately, I don't think it is because from what I see in this world, very few people take time out to stop and rest.   No, I don't have hard evidence of that, other than what I've observed and seen in people and in the bodywork clients I have worked on.

We spend too much time with our phones and staying connected continuously.  We run from this activity to that activity without really looking hard at where our time should go.  In many ways, we are so busy being busy that we are too busy to notice that we are.

The mind and the body need downtime.  Yes, we need sleep, but rest is beyond the sleep moments.

Can you run your car a 1000 miles without stopping?  Can you work 24 hours a day without stopping?  The answer you would most likely give to this is no, you can't.  However, we still tend to apply these same principals to our life.

The mind needs time to process and defrag itself, but if we are continually going, there's no way to do this.  If we don't stop and spend time observing life (such as nature or our breathing or stillness), life will pass us by.  Life will slip away before we realize it and all the essential stuff we will have missed.

The mind needs periods of downtime.  We're so stimulated with data and input coming at us a million times a second that rest seems foreign.  We don't even realize because we are so unconscious and unaware these days of our limits.  Many times, we are keeping our minds in a constant state of busyness is not health.

Our body's need rest.  It needs to build up and recuperate, but we see how far we can push it.  We don't give it a second thought.  We keep piling stress on top of stress in our muscles, tissues, and cells.  The more we do this, the more we add layers to something that could have been so simple to release and let go.  As it builds, so do chronic pain and health issues as a result.  Then we wonder in amazement why we are in the shape we are.

The more you give your mind and your body some downtime in life, the healthier you will be.  You will see things in a more balanced way and not be so numb or fear driven in life.  It will help bring balance to all parts of your life because you will be taking care of yourself instead of neglecting yourself.

Of course, you can continue to do what you do thinking that very beliefs will take care of you.  Unfortunately, if you don't deal with life, stress and stopping to rest, it will deal with you.  You can count on that.  Just look at the research that shows how much of doctor visits are related to stress.  We don't take care of ourselves, and the result is not good.

You don't have to meditate on the edge of a cliff for 5 hours every day.  You can take little steps like stopping to notice your breath.  You can choose 10 or 15 minutes at lunchtime and sit there in nature or in a quiet place and just be still.  Observe.  Put the phone away.

Sometimes quiet and stillness is an excellent form of rest.  Without it, we turn our lives into one noisy and busy nightmare that we will never wake up from in our life.  Don't wait until it is too late like I did.  Take charge of your life by taking care of your life.

Living With A Bully

I was recently reading some tweets by @Hope4Siblings on sibling abuse, and never stopped to give it a thought.  I'm guessing it is widespread or so it seems in my world.  Most of the things that I went through, I have often minimized as if they were just normal and I guess I've done the same here.

While I'm not one to embrace too many labels, I know I went through sibling abuse. My older brother made my life hell for me.  Every chance he got, he'd pound the crap out of me.  He loved to tackle me on the ground.  He was so overweight and he used that weight to hold my arms back and then jump up and down on my upper arms and shoulders with his knees.  It hurt like hell and to this day I struggle with deep pain sometimes in my shoulders.


   I was living with a bully...

Then in the second grade, there were these fourth graders in the Hampton, Iowa elementary school I went to that further made this difficult.  There were four (4) of them but I can't remember their faces or their names.  I'm not sure I knew their names.  They would each take one arm and leg and then start swinging me back and forth and let me go sailing in the air.  When I'd land on the ground, it hurt like all you can imagine it hurt.  No teachers, of course, would see it or listen to me when I told them what was going on.  I hated that school.  I hated the teachers.



   I was living with a bully... 

When we lived in one place as a kid, I was maybe in kindergarten or first grade.  We would ride the bus to school because we lived out in the country.  It is important to note that we were pretty poor and lived in a very cold rural house in Iowa.  Winter times meant being cold.  I barely had mittens or a hat to wear.  I was lucky if my boots had no holes in them.  The kids would try to grab and steal my mittens and hat every time I got on the bus.  They didn't care if I froze.  The bus driver would yell at me when I tried to get them back.  I hated the kids and the bus driver.



   I was living with a bully...


I grew up in a house where my father did unspeakable things to me.  You can learn more about that in my books, but it was not a pretty time.  I was more of a sensitive little boy.  I didn't enjoy hunting and killing things.  My little hands would get cold.  I wasn't as big of a "man" as I was supposed to be and that brought on a lot of hurt and pain for me.



   I was living with a bully... 

I worked in a job where a coworker was nothing but a bully.  He thought making fun of my sexuality and everything else about me was the norm.  People in authority in the company didn't seem to care.  They just turned a blind eye toward it.  In fact, I was told once that "I just needed to learn to work with others as adults."  It was as if what this person did was okay, but I was the one with a problem.  Emotionally, it took its toll on me and I finally quit.



   I was living with a bully...



Whether it is sibling abuse or being sexually abused by someone in your family, it is not easy and it is not fun.  When there are no people to turn to that can help, you feel all alone.  When the bully in the house threatens you and you know they are dead serious, you have no one to tell.

I see far too many bullies in this day and age and all of them trigger me.  I have no use for a bully.  If you can't respect others, then as some might say, "You are dead to me".  Sorry if that sounds harsh, but after a lifetime of bullies, I struggle to feel love toward them.  It is still part of my healing journey.

Living with a bully is difficult.  We need to get serious in this world about stopping the bully that exists in far too many places.  I still deal with the aftermath of what I experienced as I'm sure most people do as well.

If you're a bully - get help!  If you are being bullied - keep seeking help.  You should not have to endure this behavior.  The bully is the one with the problem, not you!   And if no one listens - scream a little louder until they do!  Find someone to help you.  You don't deserve to be bullied by anyone.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Reminded To Play

Often, my days get very busy.  I am usually trying to accomplish so much and it is very easy for me to just forget to stop.  The funny thing is, I try to encourage people to stop in their day and sometimes I really screw it up too!

Hey, we're all human.  Living in a human body is not necessarily an easy thing or a 1-2-3 process.

Every day things change.  Every day we experience new things.  We deal with stress and joy and pain.  We deal with life and sometimes we jump up in the air to celebrate.

The only thing is when I get so busy that I forget to stop and have fun in life, it can be like a sword thrashing around in a small room.  More than likely at some point, the result is not going to be pretty.

Cats are good barometers...

I'm always amazed at my cats because they seem to know when I need to stop and play and get up from my desk.  I'm fortunate to work from home.  My cats are good barometers of things I miss sometimes in myself.

It is amazing to watch the cats because sometimes they both come up wanting attention.  If you don't give it to them, they increase their presence until you stop and pay attention to them.  If you don't give them enough, they just up the stakes and work harder to get your attention.

My cats don't really care if you're writing your masterpiece novel or replying to a tweet.  They just know, it is time for you and them to have some social interaction... and for me to stop - play - have fun!

I like that they help remind me to play.  I need that sometimes.  It is just far too easy for us to get hung up on all the tasks we do or the social media posts we have not read.

Cats (and most likely dogs too) are good barometers to help us stay connected to our self and our mind body.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Tomato Plants Teach About Stress

I've been trying to do something I've never done and finding out this is a learning process.  This is the first time that I've tried to grow tomato seedlings from little seeds.  I really had no clue how to do this and so I just jumped in with both feet.  Of course, the tomato plants are teaching me well!

Since I am growing them close to where I work in my home office, I keep a constant eye on them.  While they were doing quite well, I've been noticing that they aren't able to stand straight up as they grow taller.  At first, I thought they were just stretching for the light, but today I noticed that it was more than that.

Going to google and doing a search, I started to see conversations about plants doing "legging" as they called it.  If a plant was not getting enough sunlight, they would tend to grow taller and move anyway they could towards the light.  I believe that is what is going on with my plants and right now, I've got them outside on the patio getting as much sunlight as they so desire.

It got me thinking though about stress.  Here is an opportunity for me to learn as the tomato plants teach me about stress.

Of course, we may not always recognize how much stress a plant goes through, but in this case, I think not having enough sunshine or light is stressful on the plant.  The plants need water, food, and sunlight to grow.  When one of those is not in enough supply, it creates stress on the plant.

We don't fully see stress...

As I apply this to the mind body, if we have stress in our day which most of us do, it has an impact upon us.  Often we don't fully see the stress and often we are so numb and disconnected that even if the stress is pointed out, we never see it.

To me, at its basic level, stress is the result of not having what you need at that moment even if it is a perceived lack of something.  In this case of the tomato plants, it is the lack of light or sunshine.  I realize, this is greatly simplifying what stress is, but I think it is at the essence of it.  To fully describe it, would take another blog post.

It doesn't necessarily mean someone or something is bad to you, but that in its basic form, what is needed is just not available.

We overcompensate for stress..

In this case, the tomato plants try to overcompensate by growing in different directions and trying to grow taller as if to get more daylight.  We too, as humans, do the same thing.  We overcompensate every day by numbing, disconnecting and doing things that take us away from our mind body connection.

The way for us humans to come back is by stopping and observing the felt sense of our body and where we are.  It is about stopping to feel what we know in our minds with where we feel that sensation within our body.  It is about stopping to feel a sensation in our body and then allow it to connect with our mind through the felt sense.

Make changes to find balance...

I know that stress is often perceived as something that is bad or you are weak if you are stressed.  I've heard all of it in life.  If we look at stress as being something that we either perceive to not have in this moment or are lacking in our life, than the corrective action would be to make changes to balance this back to normal.

I know, it is easier said than done to do this, but I think if we alter how we perceive stress and if we actually recognize it, we've taken major steps to bring our mind and body back into balance.

To live in a day has stress present.  I'm not sure you can get through a day without some type of stressor upon your life.  Even the smallest of stressors still impact us and if we let those continue, the compensation behaviors we do often build up and come back to bite us in the butt!

Work to identify the stressors in your day and allow yourself to recognize them.  Next, stop and observe what you feel in the body and then allow your mind to connect those things together.  The more you can do this, the more your nervous system stays in balance and there is more resiliency in your nervous system for the larger things that show up in a day.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Rest For The Mind and Body

Recently we had some friends spend a few days with us.  It was fun because we went and spent time at the ocean and a few other places.  We tried to keep the pace easy because in the past, we've had other times where we felt so exhausted by trying to do too much with visitors.

We really needed this time away from the computer and busyness of our days.  There are often more things going on in a week and it seems like there is never enough time.  Even though we do try and stop to rest, life just sometimes gets demanding.

This past week was one that just allowed our minds to rest.  It was a time of "rest and relaxation" for the mind.  Just sitting down at the ocean and feeling the salt air, hearing the waves crash and being engulfed by the sun was so relaxing and restful.  It was refreshing and renewing.

It is far too easy for all of us to forget to truly stop, unplug the computers and phones, and enjoy life and nature the way it is meant to be enjoyed.  Yet, if we keep pushing ourselves day in and day out, we are just adding stress to a mind and body that is already pushed to the limits.

Have you stopped and unplugged lately or are you pushing yourself at a nonstop pace?  If you are, don't chastise yourself for doing this.  Instead, ask why it is that you are and how you can change that.  Your mind and body will thank you for it.

Go ahead, take a moment to stop to rest, recharge, and relax.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Stop to Rest and Recharge and Relax

I love the simple things in life from the butterflies that flutter around our backyard, to one of my cats meowing as they bring a toy to me.  Moments where politics and the screaming or protesting of the day make no difference.  Moments where everything seems to stand still and all is at peace.

At one time in my life, I was a stranger to the simple moments of peace and tranquility.  I knew they existed and while I thought I met them on occasion, it took a major health crisis to wake me up.  It took something so big that brought me down to my last breaths for me to realize, there was more to life then staying busy and distracted 100% of the time.

All too often, I have seen people come in for a once a year massage thinking that in that moment, they would take care of a year's worth of stress.  Sometimes it was a once in a lifetime massage, but the goal was the same - to take care of an overwhelming amount of stress.  It was a luxury, not a necessity - much like it was for me before the major health crisis hit.

We push our bodies and our minds...

We all do this to our bodies.  We push them and we push them until there is no tomorrow.  We act as if our energy is limitless and our bodies never need any more rest than what we allow them to get at night while we sleep.  We act as if our mind will keep going at optimal performance while not realizing that our brain and nervous system needs a rest.  The more we rest it, the better our mind and body will perform.

We exhaust our bodies.  We exhaust our minds.  We exhaust our nervous systems.  Yet, we are surprised when we get sick with illness or major disease.  We are surprised when major episodes of pain and tension arise.  We are surprised when our memory constantly fails us in the pursuit of our daily activities.

It seems so simple...

Yes, it seems so simple to take time out and rest and recharge and refresh our bodies and our minds.  It seems like it should be a normal part of our every day life.  In fact, many preach that we should practice it, but often these are the same ones that need this more than ever.  We tend to pontificate on the things that we so badly need in our own lives. 

Am I perfect at this?  No!  After all, it took a major health crisis to bring me down and face the essence of my life.  I can say that I am better at it than I was earlier in my life, but I still struggle to do this as well.

We can keep putting it off thinking that we are invincible and we will go on forever.  However, after we have exhausted our bodies, our minds and our nervous system, we may be past the point of no return.  It may be too late to start thinking about taking care of ourselves and learning how to stop and rest and relax.  We may end up at that point, dealing with how to live with a major health crisis.

The choice is yours and yours alone to make.  No one can make this choice for you.  There is absolutely nothing in this world that is more important than your health.  I thought my job and my friends and my family were more important, but those things almost cost me my life.

I learned the hard way.  May you learn from my own journey and start to find little ways each day and week that you can stop and rest.  Find the little ways where you take a moment to find the simple things in life, that allow your body and mind to refresh and recharge.  Don't put it off another day for tomorrow could be too late.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Down Time in Life

Written by Don Shetterly

I recently saw a post on twitter about this subject and could not help but write about it myself.  Downtime in life is something we all avoid.  We think it is as nasty as swimming in a mud pit or something.

Yet, downtime is so important.  It is quite necessary to the healthy function of the mind and the body.  It is necessary for the nervous system to not get overloaded and refresh itself.

Downtime helps us enjoy the finer moments of life and the world in which we live.  It keeps us from going off the deep end and diving into a pool with no water.

The Twitter tweet I'm referring to is this one.

“When children are overwhelmed they lose the precious down time they need to explore, reflect and release tension. ” https://t.co/nwlROQVHUv

— jason hilkey (@hilkeyj) August 1, 2016

One thing we don't realize is that especially in this day and age we keep ourselves going almost 100% of the time.  We, therefore, expect our children to keep up with this pace and so we teach them through our example that downtime is not important.  If we cannot do it for ourselves, how can we expect our children to learn proper healthy behaviors from our example?

One activity or meeting after another...

I've seen it a million times when doing massage where people are so busy, they have no time to stop.  It is one activity and meeting to another.  One activity or club or sport to another with their children.  It is almost like we are doing everything we can to avoid downtime in our life.

This is not normal and healthy behavior for humans.  Our bodies are not designed to run constantly.  Our minds are not designed to go from one continuous task to another.  Our nervous system is not healthy when we don't give it time to come back into balance.

Just before I was paralyzed from a Conversion Disorder, I was working 18 hours a day in my job, almost 7 days a week.  I was trying to be the best and be everything for my boss, the company, and those that I worked with every day.  I didn't know what it meant to take care of myself.  I didn't know what downtime was.  I was just like everyone else that I kept going and pushing but never stopping.

Conversion Disorder stopped my life...

Conversion Disorder brought me to a complete stop in life.  There was nothing else I could do but stop and start to figure out how to function in life once again.  It was a slow process, but it started by listening to the birds and feeling the sunshine and enjoying the little things in life.  It started by learning how to relax and stop and let go.

The process wasn't an overnight success.  It took me years, but I knew that if I went back to the Conversion Disorder experience, the second time would not be as fortunate for me.  It was a strong motivator to change my life.

Downtime and relaxation are critical to our well-being.  It is critical to the health of our mind, our body, and our nervous system.  If you read the news or watch the current political climate, you can see strong evidence, that our mind, body, and nervous systems are anything but healthy.

When we neglect down time...

When we neglect downtime, it is then that stress builds up in our lives and connects with past experiences where illness can begin to show up.  We've seen the alarming statistics about how much we continue to spend on healthcare, but yet we aren't any more healthy than we were 20 years ago.

We can all do so much to help improve the health of our own mind, body and nervous system.  It is a choice we make to either take care of ourselves or not.

If we don't make this an important part of our life, who will?  If you wait for someone to tell you to do this, you will probably never hear it.  If you wait until your health has gone past the point of no return, you will wish you had paid more attention and given yourself the downtime you need.

If we truly want to pass something beneficial on to our children, we will learn how to enjoy downtime and teach our children through example.  In the process, we will be giving ourselves one of the greatest gifts we can by taking care of the one and only body we get in this lifetime.

Do you get enough downtime in your day (not in a week or month or year, but in a day)?  If not, what will you start to do today to change that?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Days When It Is Hard To Stay Centered

There are days and boy, is today one of those.  I can normally stay centered most of the time, but from the moment I got startled out of bed by a telemarketer until now, its been anything but calm.

The first thing that greeted me was financial software nightmares.  Then a major online app that I use to help manage my online stuff was being anything but helpful.

It seemed like one thing after another.  I'm already tired and fed up with the nonstop political ranting, raving, and overall meanness by everyone in social media and the news.  There isn't anything in that entire discussion that seems human to me and I'm trying my hardest to avoid it.  Yet, it seems like everyone wants to force me to read and hear the stuff.  When politics starts being human again, than I'll start listening.  Until then, its a bunch of noise-filled stress.

Getting myself to stop isn't easy...

Getting myself to stop and just take a time-out moment isn't easy.  I feel like the little brat of a child causing problems that needs to be put in the corner for a time-out.  I'm the adult here and it seems like it should be easy to convince myself that I need to stop and chill for a second.  Yet, my mind convinces me that I've got a zillion things to get done and in no way can I stop.

In fact, that's what I told myself all the years until I was paralyzed from the Conversion Disorder.  I thought I could do it all.  I never stopped.  I never rested.  I just kept pushing and pushing.  I kept hiding things and hiding them until they could no longer be seen.  It didn't end well either.  You would think I would have learned by now but some days I'm pretty hard headed.

Just writing this at this moment, helps me stop and think about it.  It brings it up - front and center - so that I can not hide from it or push it away.  It says - look you hard headed clunk head - you're not helping yourself if you just keep stressing and pushing and hiding everything.  "I know," I say in return, but sometimes I just don't listen to the better part of myself.

It is easy to go on autopilot in life...

Its easy to go on autopilot in life.  In fact, sometimes that helps us hide from the swirling pile of doo doo in our life we don't want to look at.  It helps us numb from it and avoid it.  I get it.  I understand because I feel like I could teach a masterclass in how all of this works.

The difficult part is getting myself to stop and say - enough!  I don't need to do the harm to my body and mind I'm doing.  I can write the words, but putting it in practice is something I'd rather just not talk about.... yet, I need to talk about it.

So, for now - I'm prioritizing what I need to get done.  What's the most important things and then the rest of it will have to wait.  I'm going to take a few minutes and just chill and rest.  I'm going to go focus on my breath and come back into my body.  Spending all my time up in my head isn't going to get me as far as if I can connect my mind with my body.

I know what I need to do in order to connect my mind and body together.  I write about it.  Its just not always easy to stay centered.  I'm sure I am  not alone and others struggle with the exact same thing.  After-all, I can't be the only one that is this hard headed, can I?   That's a rhetorical question of course.

So, please feel free to leave a comment below and tell me what you do when the stuff is piling up and your mind and body so need a chill moment.  How do you get yourself to stop in that moment and come back home inside, rather than shoving and stuffing down all of this deep inside?

It felt better to just write about this and share it.  Maybe that's what I need to do because it makes me more aware of it and by becoming aware of something, we can do a better job of dealing with it.  It doesn't mean we will solve the issue in under ten seconds, but I do know that the more aware we are, the more human we are.

That's my story for now and I'm sticking to it!

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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What Have You Learned Today?

We go through our days and do we stop to account for them?  Do we ever stop to think, what have I learned today?  Its almost like we just go from one day to the next, doing this task and that task without stopping to notice what we have learned.

The days do get busy.  I will grant you that.  Sometimes it is hard to find time to stop and reflect.  The kids need this ready for the next day.  The boss is emailing us late at night with a question that he needs answered.  We've got household chores to do, bills to pay, groceries to get, and many other things to finish.

Yet, if we don't stop and take notice of our day, we're missing out on so much.  We are giving up a big part of our life's experience that we will never get back.  When that day is done, there is no way to go back and redo it once again.  You either grab it while you have it, or you can just cross it off of your day calendar.

Opportunity...

Stopping to focus on what you have learned today gives you the opportunity to gain so much more out of your day.  It allows you to be a participant, rather than an observer going from one moment to the next.  It gives you a chance to embrace tomorrow with more knowledge than you have today.

Possibility...

Stopping to focus on what you learned today helps you to see the possibilities that lie ahead.  It helps you find the answers you seek to moments and experiences and situations in your day.  Without stopping to reflect, you miss those moments and they could end up becoming a key piece of your life's puzzle.

My question to you today is "what have you learned"?  Please leave a comment below and share your reflections of what you have learned today.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Moments Of My Day

Sometimes the days of my life seem to flash by quickly.  It is almost like a high speed film.  At times, I don't know which end is going which way.  It just feels to me like there is no tomorrow.

Sometimes in life, it is hard to make sense of everything.  There are moments that are confusing.  There are moments that appear very clear, and then fade away.  At times, I get the feeling that I just can't see everything, but yet I am living each moment as if I am.

Some days I long for answers, but it seems life is so busy, there is no time to hear them.  I wonder and question just how I reconcile time and purpose together.  They almost seem like strange bedfellows.  Yet, it feels like the pieces of a puzzle that should go together.

Stopping to smell the roses of life is essential.  Even though I thought I did this, I may be skipping this moment all too often in my life.  Even a life that doesn't seem to flow well, still needs time to step away and rest.  Life still needs to recharge and unhitch from the stresses of life.

Starting my morning in daily meditation helps.  Yet, I sometimes think that what I write makes no difference.  It is like it is meaningless to me.

Even though it may not be filled with all the answers I need at that moment, a morning meditation time is my way of stopping and allowing myself to connect with all that I need.  It is the moment where I allow everything into my life without prejudice, fear, or the business of my day and with an open heart.  It marks the beginning of focusing my moments, rather then allowing them to just pass me by.

I'm grateful that I stop in this moment of the day.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/14/13 by Don Shetterly

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Stop And Rest

It is the weekend.  Take some time this weekend to stop and rest.  Feel the sun and summer air on your face, your arms, and your legs.  Feel the ground beneath your bare feet.  See the beauty of the blue sky.  Take in the world around you as if you're a bird flying above.  Then, stop and rest awhile.

Orange Cat Therapy

Every cat owner has those special moments with their cat.  In our case, Corey The Orange Cat knows how to chill and relax.  So, I'm posting this just as a moment to stop in our busy life and allow Corey to teach us a little something.

YouTube Video:  Orange Cat Therapy with Corey 

Just Get Over It

I'm sure we have heard the following phrase at some point in our life whether it was at home in our family growing up, or in society through our job or social contacts.  If you haven't heard the phrase, "Just get over it", then you're one of the lucky few.

All too often when people go through extraordinary circumstances that are challenging, it isn't easy to move past those moments.  It takes time and it takes a lot of courage to get your life back.  Unfortunately people who are triggered by the stories of others or are just oblivious to what another person is going through, comes out in the way of this very insensitive remark, just get over it!

When confronted with threats and traumatic experiences, animals have the ability to fight back or escape whereas humans usually cannot do this.  In our civilized society, we are taught that we just move on in life after some experience has taken place and stuff our feelings and emotions deep inside of us.  If you're a male in our society, I think it is more difficult because men are supposed to be in control, show little emotion and just be strong.  To be seen in any other way is to be considered weak.  I'm sure females have similar experiences, but since I'm not female I cannot speak to that consideration.

Stop, Sense and Feel

One of the most healthiest things we can do for our mind and body is very simple.  It doesn't take more than a minute to do and you can do it at any time, any place or in a crowd of people.  Here's the phrase to help you.  Stop, Sense and Feel.  Yes, that's it!

If you take a moment in your busy day and just stop, allowing yourself to sense and feel, you will be amazed at just how much more healthy your mind and body can become.  It really isn't that hard.  It seems simple, but yet it is profound.

Of course, don't take my word for it.  Try it in your day and see what happens!

My Creativity Comes And Goes

Some days I find that I can create for hours on end and other days, it just plain sucks! My mind is one of those highly creative engines that runs almost nonstop. Sometimes in life, I have to beg it to stop and give me some rest.

Lately though, it is like the creativity is flooding my mind to the point of drowning. My creativity comes and goes almost as fast as the sun sets and rises. I love it when I can sit down and just write, paint, create music or come up with a million ideas all at once. However, usually when I go through very intense moments of this, I crash.

One of the ways I have been helping myself to efficiently be creative is getting plenty of down time and rest. I do this through relaxation and meditation even if it is only for 30 minutes. I am amazed that if I just stop for 20-30 minutes and totally let my mind and body let go, I can come back with much more energy and creative empowerment.

Creativity is where I find my greatest joy in life. It is the one thing that gives me more power and energy in my day than any other single thing I can do. There is a price of exhaustion that comes with it if I fail to manage it, but no other thing gives me greater satisfaction.

Connecting And Observing A Cardinal

Throughout the day, I love to look out the windows from my office and just observe what I can see. I can't imagine being locked up inside a building with no windows. I remember an office in Miami that I worked in that was located by the airport. The outside walls were large windows all the way around and so you could not only see the airplanes landing, but you could observe so much.

When I looked out the window yesterday, I saw this amazing colored bird perched up in the tree. The color of it almost was a deep orange with a hint of red. The beak and head area looked as if it had a full black beard growing. At the top, it almost appeared to have some type of plume or fancy hat. Later, I found out it was a Cardinal and most likely a male Cardinal.

The bird was so beautiful to watch and it stayed in the tree for a long time, only to briefly move to the fence before it was scared away by a noise. I rarely see a bird like that and I don't think I've ever seen a Cardinal that close. The colors were so deep and rich on it. It seemed like nothing else mattered that day for this bird.

Stopping And Observing The World We Live In

Birds Outside My Window
Stopping And Observing

Those little things in life that we often miss can bring such joy, peace, and a moment of relaxation to our day. Yet, we so often walk right past them, not even noticing what is playing out before our eyes. It is like going to a symphony, and failing to see the orchestra playing, or visiting some tropical paradise and failing to see the sunsets, coconuts, and palm trees. These moments are all around us for a reason.

Many years ago when I was paralyzed from a conversion disorder, I remember sitting outside all weekend long at the Bridgeway Hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas. It was the first chance in weeks and even in years that I could just sit out and observe the world around me. I remember sitting there for many hours just listening, watching, and taking in everything that was there. It was as if I was part of all that was going on.

Is Time Speeding Up?

I see a lot written these days including guests like Shirley McClaine on Oprah talking about time speeding up. Everyone seems to notice time speeding up or at least that is what was indicated on the Oprah show (April 11, 2011). While time may be speeding up, I have no way to prove that it is or that it is not. I'm sure there are many out there that can give justification to this.

The only thing that I do know is that I cannot control time. Each one of us only has so many seconds, minutes, and hours in any given day. Whether those change at any given point, is of course the question. There is always the possibility that they do. I learned a long time ago when i was doing research, that what we think is correct is not always as it seems.

Again, I go back to my biggest concern. Can I influence how fast time goes in a day? I doubt I can. If I can, I have absolutely no idea of how to begin doing that. For what is time, but a measurement we all use in life to organize our day. Of course, time could be more than that and I'm sure it most likely is.

What I do know is that if I spend my all my time in front of the computer, on Facebook, running from this meeting to that meeting, going to this event or filling my every waking hour with something to do, I feel like time really speeds up. We, the collective we, of course spend more of our waking moments keeping ourselves busy than stopping to feel, sense, observe and notice all that is around us. Meditation practices are for those really dedicated, spiritual, new age people, not for the rest of us. Mindfulness is something that is thrown around in our day but not truly understood or observed.

So, here's my plan that seems to work for me when I feel like time is out of control. I do this very simple and profound thing, I STOP! Yes, you heard me correct. I STOP! That may mean I take a walk in the park or along the ocean. It may mean that I spend some time reading a book, taking a nap, sitting by the pool or enjoying time with my plants. It may mean that instead of seeing how many events I can participate in for any given week, that I begin to pick and choose what really matters. Of course, it means that I spend less time on Facebook and reading all the news that society deems is important so maybe I can have more time to just relax, rest and rejuvenate my body, mind and spirit.

Many years ago, we did not have all these electronic devices that crowded our days and our minutes for attention. We spent more time out doors, playing, running, walking and getting to know our neighbors. It was a simpler life that we have left behind.

Maybe the important question should not be so focused on is time speeding up, but what are we doing with the time we have? How are we effectively managing our lives so that we get to stop, rest and energize? Are we just doing everything that we can because it is easier to keep our minds busy that way rather than allowing our minds to unwind and catch up?

You, the individual, are the only one that can answer that question. You are the only one that can make changes and discover what is truly important to your life. We need not worry so much about what it is that we cannot control but more on what we can control.

Further Reading:
1) When Life Is Too Busy
2) Mindful Words



Blog Post & Images (c) 4/1/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Clutter In Our Life, 30 Day Challenge

Clutter In Our Life Series
30 Day Challenge

As you have been reading through this 10 part series, feel free to not be in agreement with all of what I have written. I am perfectly happy to accept that. However, before you complete write these things off, take a moment and test something out.

Try this challenge for one month. Then, come back and let me know what happened in your life as a result of the challenge. The best way to see if something works for you is to challenge yourself until you find the answer that fits in your life.

So here are the parts of the challenge for at least the next 30 days!

1) Turn off the TV news including the internet. If you want to subscribe to an online service with headlines, let that be the most you do for a month. You'll actually find that most of what you need to know can be found reading the headlines. Honestly, it is true.

2) Limit your time on places like Facebook for a month and actually give up the games for one month that you normally would play on Facebook.

3) Try to put the cell phone/pda/mobile device/iphone etc, in a different room from you so that if someone calls, you can go get the cell phone but you won't be tempted to just spend countless hours on it.

4) Evaluate your day and see where you are spending your time and is it matching up to things that really matter in your life. Be critical of it from an observers view, rather than your regular view.

5) Spend some time out in nature each day if it is nothing more than sitting outside for 5 minutes, listening to the birds, feeling the warmth of the sun or the coolness of the breeze.

6) Spend a few moments reading that book you always wanted to get to or writing something in a journal if you feel so led.

7) Pick up some paints or other craft things and enjoy just creating in the moment.

8) Book yourself a massage or try Yoga once a week for the month or spend some time walking, going to the fitness center, bicycling, swimming.

9) Spend time with people you love like a partner, spouse, child or pet and just enjoy the simple moments with them.

10) Find things to do that give you simple moments in life. The goal is to slow down and observe, enjoy and be in the moment, not try to find everything possible to keep yourself busy.

11) Try changing what you eat at least once a week. Really go all out to see if you can find something so healthy to eat that your taste buds dance the greatest movement known to this world.

12) Double the amount of water you currently drink for at least a week and see if you don't notice a change.



If you do this for a month, I have a feeling you will not want to stop these things. Yes, withdraw may be tough at first and you may feel disconnected from life, but in time, you will come to understand what truly matters to you and what does not.

To each person, it will be different. I cannot state what will be right for you no more than you can state what is right for me. Until you truly and honestly go into these moments, what matters to your life, will remain a mystery.

There is much more to life than we currently understand. We are in an epidemic of hiding from the moments of connectedness in our life and giving ourselves the false illusion that the clutter moments are what matters.

It is easier most likely for us to living in a mindless world but if we learn to live mindfully, being connected to the moment, life will give us so much more.

I challenge each person reading this to take the challenge I just stated and see what happens. What do you have to lose? The world will still be here after these 30 days are up. Who knows, you might just be pleasantly surprised in a simple and easy way.

If you are just finding this blog for the first time, please feel free to read all 10 parts of this series by clicking on the links corresponding to each section below.

Clutter In Our Life Series
- Introduction
Part 1: Spending our hours watching TV news
Part 2: Keeping Ourselves Constantly Busy
Part 3: Numbing Ourselves
Part 4: Following Blindly
Part 5: Food Choices
Part 6: Health care, Doctors, and Medicine
Part 7: Hydrating Our Bodies
Part 8: Thinking We Have The Answers
Part 9: Exercise Is For Another Day
Part 10: We Fail To Evolve
- The 30 Day Challenge


Blog Post & Images (c) 3/20/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Clutter In Our Life, Part 2

Clutter #2 - Keeping Ourselves Constantly Busy
Part 2 of 10

Most of us go to a daily job or if we don't, we find ways to keep ourselves busy almost 24x7. Jobs are important but many times we fail to give ourselves down time after the day is done. These days with the mobile cellular devices and laptop computers, we are hardly ever disconnected from our jobs. There is always that email to answer or that person needing to have a question answered.

We live in a day of instant everything and 30 seconds is a long time for anyone to wait anymore. Than we get home and one child has this event to go to, another has another event. We've got to figure out how to get something to eat for everyone, do household chores, take care of a million other tasks and yet try to get a few hours of sleep before the next day starts up.

Each day we do this, we run a negative balance in the account of our lives and if we don't stop during the day and push the reset button, we travel at lightening speeds for all kinds of health care and body issues.

Come back tomorrow for part 3 of this series, Clutter In Our Life. Below are the various parts to this series that you can read as well.

Clutter In Our Life Series
- Introduction
Part 1: Spending our hours watching TV news
Part 2: Keeping Ourselves Constantly Busy
Part 3: Numbing Ourselves
Part 4: Following Blindly
Part 5: Food Choices
Part 6: Health care, Doctors, and Medicine
Part 7: Hydrating Our Bodies
Part 8: Thinking We Have The Answers
Part 9: Exercise Is For Another Day
Part 10: We Fail To Evolve
- The 30 Day Challenge


Blog Post & Images (c) 3/20/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com