Don't Let Them Do It

(Written By Don Shetterly)

In one job I had, the people were treating me horribly and really acting as if I was less than human.  I had the owners of the company calling me an idiot in meetings.  I was getting screamed at for things well beyond my control.  They would have lunches for the office and keep me from eating any of the food.  It was challenging working in the place.

At the time I was seeing a counselor, and she told me a story about when she started doing student teaching as part of her college education requirements.  She walked into the classroom, and the kids were wild and would not listen to her.  No matter what, they treated her with no respect.  So, she finally went to her mentor, and he told her, the best thing she can do is “Don't Let Them Do This!”  She looked at him in disbelief as if it was that easy.

He went on to explain to her that if she mentally walked into the classroom with the mindset that “I’m not going to let them do this to me” that it would help.  She tried it, and it changed everything.  The kids started settling down and respecting her.

So, I went back to the job that I had and tried it.  Now, I’m not going to say everything was magically better or perfect, but the mindset helped.  I just told myself before walking in the office, “Don't Let Them Do It” and I don’t know what happened, but it is almost like they got the message.  They never heard me say those words, but my demeanor must have changed.   I still had some rough moments, but things were not as bad as they once were.

I know it isn’t easy because I’ve been picked on and put down in jobs and social situations.  I’m too nice of a guy at times, and sometimes I don’t speak up for myself.  Speaking up for myself does not come easy, but at some point, it is really what I have to do.  I know – it is not easy.

Doing this may take you out of your comfort zone, but sometimes that's where we learn lessons and evolve. It is a process of learning and adjusting to life because there are bullies out there everywhere.  When you’re a nice person, bullies don’t respect you.  I’m not saying to become a bully or be mean, but as I’ve found, I had to learn to stand my ground more.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Laura's Book Impacted My Life

Review Written by Don Shetterly

There are very few things I read that have such a great impact on me.  This book that Laura Corbeth wrote, My Courage To Tell, is one such book.  I'm stunned with how much it touched me.  I'm stunned at the way a chance connection made this possible.  Soon, I'll be sitting down with Laura to conduct an interview that will be shared on this blog.


Anyone who has followed this blog for very long knows that I too wrote a book about some of the experiences I went through growing up.  It is called, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma.

Part of what I experienced, in addition to the sexual abuse and torture, was psychological abuse like what Laura shares in her book.  I've actually never heard anyone talk about it so eloquently as she did.  She shared her story and through it, her own self-discovery and realization of healing her life.  Laura was so open in what she shared.

The psychological stuff for me included the following... and this is only a minor list.

• My brother tormented me all my life.  He lied a lot, and that’s one of the things that resonated with me from her book.  I used to hate his lying so much.  He would lie about the stupidest things.  We had these tiny little plastic American Building Bricks that I loved to play with.  When he would lie, my dad would get mad at both of us and threaten to throw them in the fireplace.  I finally got to the point where I’d speak up because I was tired of being punished because of his lies.
• He did many horrendous things to me.  Another that resonated from the book was how he would pin me down.  He was overweight and much larger than me.  I was a small-framed kid.  He would get me down on his back and jump up and down with his knees on my upper arms as he stretched them out on the ground.  I still suffer from the physical pain of that.
• I was beaten and hit by my brother and dad.  I’ve had a garden hoe taken to me, a shovel and belts/boards – whatever they could get their hands on, they would use on me.  For a long time in my life, I would find rocks and sticks to hit myself with when life got too rough.  As a kid, my older brother hit me with a round point shovel and caused me to bleed.  He tried to keep me from going inside to get my mom to help me.  He didn't want to get into trouble.
• When Laura talks about the frogs, I’m overwhelmed.  I saw what my brother did to a frog with his bicycle when I was in kindergarten.  I saw my dad kill my pets to help silence me.  I saw my brother and my dad be mean to my pets.  My dad got mad at my dog and shot the dog as it was running down the road.  When my dog finally died of cancer, I was in college, and as it spent the last few days at the vet’s office, the vet and I cried over the phone – when he saw the buckshot still lodged in the feet of my dog.  I’m a fierce protector of animals.  I have a degree in animal science.  No one ever got away with hurting any animal under my watch. 

So many things that Laura shared in her book sounded all too real to me based on my own experiences.  I still struggle and deal with what I went through because it runs deep.  I continue to work through them, and heal my life to the core with every new realization that appears.

I cannot believe I survived and made it this far in life.  I'm beyond ecstatic to see someone like Laura share her story in the way she did.

When I was reading the book, it took me a day and a half to finish it.  I could not put it down.  Laura does an excellent job of weaving the events together into a story that captivates you and holds your attention.

I strongly suggest you check out her book, her website, and the podcast interview she did because it is very enlightening.  See the links below.

We've all got our stories, but if we don't share them, the abuse and horror will continue.  It is up to each one of us to do as Laura did and share your story.  You will touch others, and through touching their lives, they will find more possibility and hope and healing.

Our silence gives a fertile soil for abuse to continue.  Make a difference by speaking up and telling your story.  If you would like a platform to do this, let me know, and I will help you.  I'm always careful that it is not about vengeance, as Laura discusses, but instead that it stands up and says, "I'm taking back my life."

Check Out These Links

• Website:  MyCourageToTell.com
• Podcast:  Podcast with Dr. Berney
• Twitter:   @Laura_Corbeth
• Amazon: My Courage To Tell

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I Was Never Good Enough For My Dad

Written By Don Shetterly

I used to hate having to go get tools for my dad.  My older brother would treat me the same way as my dad treated me.  They were too freaking lazy to go get the tools themselves and so I’d have to trek all the way to the barn where we had them.

Of course, the tools were never where they said they were.  Of course, they didn’t know how to properly identify them.  So, I would have to guess and hope I brought the right one back.

Most of the time I failed.  I would be berated with the following statements:

"You don’t have any common sense." 

"If the tool would have been a snake, it would have bit you." 

"Can’t you do anything right?" 

Those and many more statements filled the void around me.  They made me nervous.  They caused so much anxiety in me.

If my dad got real mad, he’d pick up a shovel, a garden hoe, a board or anything else within his reach and beat me with it.  Minor infractions meant that he would just kick you, and I mean physically kick you. 

Afterwards, I would get blamed for not putting the tools away in the correct spots.  There were no “spots” for the tools, only general locations.  My dad would never return things back to where he found them, but it was always our fault.  Then we’d have to clean up the barn all over again, only for the scenario to repeat.

I remember one time in college, I had come home and changed the oil in my car.  I put things back where they were supposed to go.  Days later I get this letter from my dad.  Now, my dad could barely put words together to form a sentence on paper and hardly ever sent a letter to anyone.  This letter was blasting me for how irresponsible and immature I was because I left his “garage” a mess.  It wasn’t me that did that.  It was someone else, but of course I got blamed.

Fault in the smallest of things...

Nothing I ever did was good enough for my dad.  He would find fault in the smallest of things.  Even in the music that I created, I can still remember him criticizing me because it had mistakes in it.  His anger fumed at me when I replied to him, “but how can it have mistakes – I’m just creating it?”

When I bought my first pickup, it wasn’t good enough because I didn’t ask his permission, even though I was out of college, working a good job, and paid for it on my own.  He thought I should get his approval first.  It did not matter that I got the best deal I most likely ever got on buying a vehicle.

When I got tired of waiting on him to help me build a hay feeding bunk for my sheep, I finally just did it on my own.  The sheep needed it badly and day after day, he kept telling me he was too busy to help me.  No, it wasn’t perfect, but it worked.  He could only criticize me and it for every little flaw that he magnified in his own eyes.  Nothing was ever good enough for my dad.

When I would play the piano in high school choir events, he would gloat that I was his son.  It wasn’t that I played beautifully.  It was about how I was related to him and he made sure that he was the focus of the event to everyone that knew us.  His responses to me in private though were nitpicking how much he hated the music I was given to play.  This was from a man that had no concept of music, but he sure was a critic.

When I tried to go to college, he was all for it if I got a good paying job and it was more of a hands-on trade.  Yet, my dad resented the money I was offered for my first job.  While in college and for years after, I would hear that I was nothing more than an over educated college idiot.  No matter how humble and true I was with people, my father resented that I was doing better than he was.

Jealous of me...

I dealt with my older brother and my dad being completely jealous of me in everything I did.  They expected someone to walk up and hand them what they needed.  I, on the other hand, worked my butt off to get what I needed.  I was well known and successful for my hard work in the area where we grew up.  I never had to look for work.  It always found me.  Regardless, though, I had to deal with the never-ending jealously by my dad and older brother.  Anything I had, they thought they should have, even if they did nothing to get it.

I’ve been called so many names.  I’ve been hit and beaten so hard.  I am not sure how I made it this far in life.

I always try to stay humble and be who I am.  However, that was never enough for them and it made my life hell for many years. 

In recent years, I’ve started to really come to terms with that, but I would be lying if I said that none of what I had been through with my dad and older brother did not impact everything I do to this day.

It is my goal to keep reminding myself that they were the bullies in my life and because of their own shortcomings, they felt threatened by me.  However, that is their circus.  It is their dysfunctional issues.  I no longer desire to own them.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Living With A Bully

I was recently reading some tweets by @Hope4Siblings on sibling abuse, and never stopped to give it a thought.  I'm guessing it is widespread or so it seems in my world.  Most of the things that I went through, I have often minimized as if they were just normal and I guess I've done the same here.

While I'm not one to embrace too many labels, I know I went through sibling abuse. My older brother made my life hell for me.  Every chance he got, he'd pound the crap out of me.  He loved to tackle me on the ground.  He was so overweight and he used that weight to hold my arms back and then jump up and down on my upper arms and shoulders with his knees.  It hurt like hell and to this day I struggle with deep pain sometimes in my shoulders.


   I was living with a bully...

Then in the second grade, there were these fourth graders in the Hampton, Iowa elementary school I went to that further made this difficult.  There were four (4) of them but I can't remember their faces or their names.  I'm not sure I knew their names.  They would each take one arm and leg and then start swinging me back and forth and let me go sailing in the air.  When I'd land on the ground, it hurt like all you can imagine it hurt.  No teachers, of course, would see it or listen to me when I told them what was going on.  I hated that school.  I hated the teachers.



   I was living with a bully... 

When we lived in one place as a kid, I was maybe in kindergarten or first grade.  We would ride the bus to school because we lived out in the country.  It is important to note that we were pretty poor and lived in a very cold rural house in Iowa.  Winter times meant being cold.  I barely had mittens or a hat to wear.  I was lucky if my boots had no holes in them.  The kids would try to grab and steal my mittens and hat every time I got on the bus.  They didn't care if I froze.  The bus driver would yell at me when I tried to get them back.  I hated the kids and the bus driver.



   I was living with a bully...


I grew up in a house where my father did unspeakable things to me.  You can learn more about that in my books, but it was not a pretty time.  I was more of a sensitive little boy.  I didn't enjoy hunting and killing things.  My little hands would get cold.  I wasn't as big of a "man" as I was supposed to be and that brought on a lot of hurt and pain for me.



   I was living with a bully... 

I worked in a job where a coworker was nothing but a bully.  He thought making fun of my sexuality and everything else about me was the norm.  People in authority in the company didn't seem to care.  They just turned a blind eye toward it.  In fact, I was told once that "I just needed to learn to work with others as adults."  It was as if what this person did was okay, but I was the one with a problem.  Emotionally, it took its toll on me and I finally quit.



   I was living with a bully...



Whether it is sibling abuse or being sexually abused by someone in your family, it is not easy and it is not fun.  When there are no people to turn to that can help, you feel all alone.  When the bully in the house threatens you and you know they are dead serious, you have no one to tell.

I see far too many bullies in this day and age and all of them trigger me.  I have no use for a bully.  If you can't respect others, then as some might say, "You are dead to me".  Sorry if that sounds harsh, but after a lifetime of bullies, I struggle to feel love toward them.  It is still part of my healing journey.

Living with a bully is difficult.  We need to get serious in this world about stopping the bully that exists in far too many places.  I still deal with the aftermath of what I experienced as I'm sure most people do as well.

If you're a bully - get help!  If you are being bullied - keep seeking help.  You should not have to endure this behavior.  The bully is the one with the problem, not you!   And if no one listens - scream a little louder until they do!  Find someone to help you.  You don't deserve to be bullied by anyone.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Today, I Know

(Written by Marie Davino)

I have been in some kind of therapy or other since I was 18, due to a difficult and dysfunctional family life as a child. In addition, I was bullied at school and had an eating disorder that became a lifelong struggle.

It has, at times, been a rough and very rocky road to say the least.  I knew that I had experienced some kind of abuse, but the memories of it were incomplete or vague. That made it difficult  for me to know for sure if I actually was molested… and to let it go.

The questions were always, “what if”, “what really happened”, or “who was this person?”  These questions haunted me, and were always in the back of my mind. I tried to recover the memory in different ways with different therapies over the years to no avail. I finally decided I would have to be ok with not ever knowing…until recently.

I worked with my last therapist for ten years, and he was wonderful. I will always be grateful for the work we did together and for the time and effort he gave to help me heal my past wounds. I reached a point where I was very happy, had left it all behind me, and felt my life was quite fulfilling for many years…and then, the bottom dropped out. I felt myself spiraling into a depression that  I could not express or understand. I tried my best to manage it with all of the tools I had learned over the years. Nothing was working.

That was when I found Jim Fazio and Unified Therapy. I began to work with him, and reached a level of trust so quickly that I was able to explore the reasons for the depression I was experiencing in great depth.  It is difficult to describe how the sessions go, but I can say there is very little talking, no advice or judgment, and all mind-body work in a safe, relaxing environment.

The sessions were intense and powerful... after each session was over, when I allowed myself to let go, I felt an overwhelming peace and joy that I had not experienced for a very long time. It was progressing so quickly that after a few months the memory became clearer… until one session when the answer came… I knew it was real, where the existing memory was leading, and that it happened.

The next morning, this poem was written in my mind in a matter of minutes, and I had to write it down.

Today, I Know

(c) 2017 By Marie Davino

Today I see the world through different eyes
Yesterday it was maybe, probably.
Maybe.
Today I know
Yesterday it was how could someone do that to a child
Today it is how could someone do that to my child
Yesterday I wondered why? (I suffocate!)
Why? (I can't breathe!) why? (I can't speak!)
Why? (Did I make this up?)
Today I know
The Angels gentle message
Floating on an ocean full of tears
drowning out my screams
Buried in sand up to my nose, hide my face from horror.
Can't move, can't breathe, why? (No one hears me.)
Today I know.
Paul sings it was far away… but it was here all along
He sings it will stay forever, but now I know
I will fight till I can let it go
These words of a million wounded souls, spoken a million times
Nothing new here...I am just one more broken heart to heal.
Freezing cold. Burning up.
No more shadows. No more darkness. No more silence. Today I weep.
Today I bathe in the soft lightness of mourning
In the gentle hands that hold me
Because now, I know.
Tomorrow I will see the world through different eyes.

I am sharing my experience on Mind Body Thoughts because through my work with Jim Fazio I found Don, and we have become good friends. What he writes on his blog is courageous, open, and honest, and helps me find the courage I need to continue to heal through some very difficult times. Many thanks to Don, for sharing so much of his life with us so we can see there is always hope…and to Jim, for holding on tight and going through the darkness with me.

- Marie

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Jim Fazio, LMT, CSI, UTP

Website:   Integrative Bodywork, Inc.

Activating the Brain-Body Connection for Healing.

Promote Health and Wellness, not disease and illness

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Marie

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Bully In The House

This was my life.  I grew up in a home where the bully was in charge.  The one that said, you must believe what I say or get out.  The one that thought their way was all that mattered or it was the highway.

There was no dissent.  There was no thought about dissent.  There were many threats if you even thought about telling anyone the secrets taking place in the house.

If the threats were not enough, you watched as your pets were killed and your body was whacked with beatings and pain.  You hunkered down as the violence happened and the yelling intensified.

I grew up in this home where you either believed and thought and talked like the bully of the house wanted or you were nothing in their eyes.  If you didn't do as they wanted, you were outcast.  You were shunned.  You were given the silent treatment.

There wasn't just one bully either.  There were two.  The second felt as if I was the physical punching bag he needed.  He was bigger than me and weighed almost twice as much.  I still remember his knees jumping up and down on my shoulder as he pinned me to the ground.

Both bullies molested me and raped me and made me hate myself.  It was the house I grew up in.  I despise bullies.  I despise child molesters and rapists.

The bullies used their church and the bible and their God to torment me, and keep me in line.  It kept me silent.  They used the teachings of Jesus to proclaim to me that they did these things to show God's love to me.  They were bullies.

They brainwashed me to think that everyone else was wrong and should be despised and talked about and shunned.  I grew up learning this and seeing it in action, even as they took time out to pray to God, read their bibles and preach love.

It is easy to say not all people are like that, but when you've been through what I have, you see that those words fall short.  For you see what truly lies in a person's actions and words.  You see evidence of it every day with grandstanding, but no matter what, the bullies are still alive and kicking.

I grew up in a house where I didn't know who I was and love was something that was proclaimed, but I knew very little about it from the example I was shown.  You wouldn't have been able to convince the bullies of this.  For they thought they were self-righteous and honorable and the best loving human of all times.  They were the greatest in their own eyes and they made sure everyone knew it.

Little do they realize as they continue to practice their hatred of those who don't bow down and worship at their feet, that I no longer participate in their bullying practices.  I no longer wish to allow them to rule over me.

Yes, it means that I no longer live in that house or talk with the bullies.  It means that I am blazing my own path.  Yet, I see time and time again, evidence throughout our land that the bullies I grew up with are present everywhere I go.

It takes more than words and actions.  That's all a bully has to defy human existence and love.  A bully will convince you they are not a bully, but if you believe that, you will sacrifice your own soul in the quest for life and for your soul's existence.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Can You Think Yourself Sick?

This is one of my favorite questions that I get asked frequently.  Can you think yourself sick?  Most certainly you can!  However, most of the time, we don't even realize we're thinking ourselves sick, even if we are aware we are able to do this.  Okay, I know this sounds a little convoluted, but let me see if I can explain this better.

I'll start by going back to an example from when I was a kid in high school.   Every week we had P.E. (Physical Education) class.  Now, I hated that more than anything in school.  I wasn't good at team sports and I got laughed at and bullied so much, that every time I knew P.E. was coming, my stomach would be in knots.  In addition, I was being sexually molested and abused at home, so undressing in front of a bunch of classmates was not the feeling of safety I longed for and I wanted to avoid it completely.

Knowing that I could not get away with this every time because someone would catch on to what I was doing, I limited the amount of times I pulled this stunt.  I would go to PE as much as I could and just put up with the name calling and taunts and bullying, but when it got to be too much, I did the unthinkable.

Raising my body temperature...

Shortly before P.E. class, I would start focusing on my thoughts to get my body temperature to elevate.  I did this with my thoughts, just focusing on raising my body temperature.  I would be sitting in a class prior to this and just do it silently.  No one knew it was going on.  By the time I got to P.E., I would tell the teacher that I wasn't feeling good and thought I was running a temperature.  Of course, he would tell me to go see the school nurse.

When I went to the school nurse, she would take my temperature and lo and behold, the thermometer would show I was running a fever.  Deep down inside, I knew I wasn't sick, but I was able to get my body temperature to appear that I was.  The nurse would call my mom and she would leave work to take me home.  My poor mom, I feel sorry for her.  If she ever suspected what I was doing, she never let on.  Of course, I had to continue playing the role of being sick but generally by the time I got up the next morning and my mom took my temperature, it would be normal.

I appeared sick...

See, I managed to make myself appear sick.  It really isn't that hard and in fact many people do this all the time.  I'm sure there is some psychological condition for it, but in my case, I just hated P.E. so much that I would do anything to get out of it.

While I know we can think ourselves sick, we also can make ourselves well.  Now, the trick is though, making sure you are aware of what you are doing.  Most humans go through life being disconnected and unaware.  They do things every day that makes them sick, but are not even aware they are doing it.

We diminish our own health...

Instead of taking care of ourselves in the best way possible, we do things that diminish our health and then all of the sudden we are sick.  We have some condition or situation that we now treat with some form of medicine, but we don't go in and treat the underlying reason that led up to the situation we are in.

While we can think ourselves sick, we can think ourselves healthy.  This means though, that we have to start listening to our body and becoming aware of all that we are, all that we feel, all that we sense, and not numbing or avoiding.  If you don't think you do this, I'd counter that you are probably of an alien species.  It is human nature to not be aware of our body, even if we trick ourselves into thinking that we are.

We can do so much with our thoughts, especially if it is followed by action and it comes from our core.  Just mere words will only get you so far, but learning to connect deep within your biological self will yield much more powerful and long lasting changes for your life.

I'm not suggesting that anyone use the stunt I used when I was in high school.  It really isn't good to mess around with your health in that way.  It is far better to be upfront and honest, letting someone know that you just need a day off for yourself or some activity or event is not right for you.  I took the easy way out.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Neuroscience In The News On July 18

These are articles that I found of interest relating to news about Neuroscience.  In this issue, I have highlighted an article about bullying and neuroscience.

Please check out the article links below and feel free to comment with other information related to these subjects.  I enjoy learning as much as I can about the brain and passing this information on to everyone else that shares these passions.

This is for the week beginning July 18, 2016.

Please come back each week and hopefully I will have some more highlights.  Feel free to share with me ones that you have found and I may highlight those as well.

Feel free to check out the highlighted articles from July 11, 2016

Bullying and Neuroscience

Through research, they are finding that bullying gives the bully a feeling of reward.  The more they bully others, the more reward they get. While there are areas in the brain that deal with such as the lateral habenula and basal forebrain, there is a chemical called GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) that is a primary inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain.  It is responsible for reducing the excitation of surrounding neurons and making them less active. While there is so much more to read on this topic, I hope that this research will help begin to stop bullying.  An estimated 28 percent of kids between 12 and 18 are bullied in school.  This needs to stop and if neuroscience can help solve this horrible plague upon our society, than I am all for it!  You can read more on this topic, Neuroscience of Bullying.   [click to read more]

Traumatized by Cold Hands

I'm once again reminded of one of the reasons I no longer live in the northern half of the country.  It is too cold.  Well, it isn't so much the cold because I can take a little of it.  It is the cold hands.

Every since I can remember, my hands got cold.  It didn't matter if I had layers of clothes on and warm gloves, my hands were cold.  It didn't matter if I had the warmest mittens on, they got cold.  It could be 70 degrees in a room and my hands would be cold.

As far back as I can remember, I would get kicked, hit, and ridiculed, because my hands would get cold.  I couldn't help it.  They just did. 

Time and time again, I was told to shut up and grow up.  I was told not to cry.  Big boys don't cry is what I was told. I was so traumatized by it, that it still haunts me today. 

You would have thought allowing me to have 5 minutes to go inside and warm up would not have been asking for too much.  Apparently, it was.

Imagine your hands hurting from being cold or being so stiff they didn't want to move.  Imagine someone telling you that you were a cry baby or just complaining and whining.  Imagine being threatened with physical punishment and seeing that threat followed through.

Being traumatized by cold hands is not fun.  I do not enjoy the colder weather at all and for those that do, more power to you.  However, I didn't like to be made fun of and bullied by my father because my hands were naturally cold.

For me, I prefer the warmer weather.  Cold weather isn't my desire anymore and most of the time, it makes me want to hide and withdraw.  Most don't fully understand this, but it can be a very traumatizing moment for me.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/13/16 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Bullies With Pitchforks And Torches

I really don't understand people these days.  I read something online of a lady who posted a drunken rant against a restaurant in Indianapolis Indiana.  There is nothing about this rant that was good or right or decent.

After all, a customer had fallen ill and had a heart attack.  To complain about this or somehow make it into a rant against a business such as the restaurant, is beyond my comprehension.  The restaurant's response was good and right I thought.

However, I saw people commenting on Facebook where the drunken rant lady worked.  It was in a salon and spa.  So, since this individual shut down her Facebook account, goodie two shoe people started commenting and urged people to go to the salon's site and leave comments.

Keep in mind that this salon had actually nothing to do with what happened.  None of the salon people were there and they were not connected to it in anyway except for this one employee.  The pitchfork mob though on social media determined that somehow they needed to take down the Salon's site with their holier than thou approach.  They were angry if the owner was trying to stop them from posting these comments on the Salon's Facebook page.

I'm disturbed these days by what happens on social media.  It is basically an avenue for bullies with pitchforks and torches.  Heck, we might as well get the torches and burn whoever we disagree with at the stake.  I know I'm writing a little on the wild side here, but it honestly is what it feels like.  We can't disagree these days without getting the pitchforks and torches out.

I hate to see someone's business demolished because of a group of people who think they are better than everyone, trashing the site of someone with absolutely no relevancy to what took place.  We need to start thinking a little more what we do on social media than just burning everyone down.

There is far too much unconsciousness on social media.  People just share everything that comes along their news feed without giving a thought to what they are doing.  A little moderation goes a long ways and that's missing on social media.

It is sad though how people react with get the pitchfork mentality and convict someone, try them and sentence them without even knowing most of what happened.  The even sadder part is that I don't see this changing and improving any time soon.  I wonder what it will take to get people to wake up.

Years ago, we had online forums and message boards.  Time and time again, if you were a moderator, you had to watch out for the ones that would just cause endless terror on these sites.  It was just too easy for someone to type whatever they wanted to a screen without giving thought to what they were truly saying.  It was almost like there was no human on the other side of that conversation.

I've seen some contacts and people I am connected to on Facebook and Twitter do some of this very same action.  I find it disturbing and sad.  I wish it would stop.

We talk about bullying in schools, but we allow it among adults.  It is time it stops!  Let's throw the pitchforks in the fire and maybe sit around the fire and get to know one another.  Let's work at finding the common ground.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/3/16 by Don Shetterly

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Bully In The Workplace

I figure I'm not the only one dealing with this situation.  Most likely many people who go to work have to put up with this and no one in top management seems to care.  It is like, see no evil, hear no evil.   I mean if you don't acknowledge it, it just doesn't exist right.

It really is sad these days because we have far too many bullies.  Whether it is the workplace or in politics or law enforcement or churches or schools or I could go on and on and on.  They are just everywhere and they think they have the right to run everyone's life.

Here are some ways that I've seen bullies at work.