Healing Is Too Much Sometimes

Written By Don Shetterly

Many years ago, my former therapist shared something with me before the last session I had with her since I was moving.  She told me that many people just don't go far enough in therapy.  They stop after a few sessions and feel that is enough when in reality they need to go further.

I have seen this time and time again with myself and others, not only people I know but clients I have had.  It is just too darn easy to quit before you get to the point that you're healing those deep layers.

I know, it isn't easy healing.  I know, it isn't easy going through pains of life and uncovering them.  It is like a festered cut on your finger as you play in the salt mines.  There is just no way that is going to feel good. It reminds me of a story from my own experiences.

For awhile, I was working at a fertilizer plant.  It was easy to cut your finger, but because of the salt content, it was much harder to get your finger to heal.  The salt just kept the wound open, and it would burn when the salt touched the exposed area of the cut on my finger.  It wasn't until I was able to protect the cut or remove myself from this situation that it could finally heal.

Healing can be the same way.  Sometimes it just hits us and feels like the festered wound of a cut soaking in salt.  The thing is, if we continue to stay in that environment where we hunker down in the salt mines, we'll just keep causing more pain in life.

The layers of healing run deep.  They took a long time to build up and they are not going to disappear overnight or over a few therapy sessions.  We may trick ourselves into believing they will, but we will only be lying to ourselves.

When we experience things in life that are anything but good, we tend to bury them deep within our body and cells.  Every year that goes by, we pour another layer of cement on them.  After a time, the cement hardens and gets so thick that it becomes difficult at best, to get to them.

Yes, we can use a jackhammer and chip the layers of cement away, but the more years we have buried it, the deeper we must go.  Sometimes we get tired.  Sometimes ask ourselves, what is the use in continuing through healing?  Sometimes we think, this is more than I want to do and so we sit down to take a rest.  Just make sure, you don't sit there for a rest for the rest of your life.

Yes, healing is not easy.  There is a positive outcome as we get rid of the layers of past experiences we have endured.  Sometimes to heal, time is required.  It takes courage and determination.

Often it takes us saying that no matter what, we are not going to give up.  We're not going to let anything stop us.  Sometimes when we are at the point of saying "this is too much," it is then that we may just likely be on the edge of a major breakthrough.  We won't know unless we keep going.

I've had those moments where I said, "this is too much" and I wanted to stop.  In fact, there were times that I did stop.  Life had a way of getting my attention and getting back to the point of seeking help that I needed.  If I had listened to the parts of me that wanted to give up, I would have missed the breakthroughs in my healing.

Life is a journey.  Life is about going in and reclaiming parts where life hurt us.  Yes, healing is too much sometimes, but the alternative is to live a life of pain and heartbreak.

The alternative is to stay stuck in that which we so desperately want to let go.  Healing is about digging through the layers and finding who we are, not what we experienced and done to us.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I Struggle To Let Go

 By Don Shetterly

One of the things I believe happens to people who have been traumatized is wanting to remain in control, long after the events are past.   It makes sense in my mind because if control is taken away from you in abuse or other traumatic incidents, then it is the thing that your mind and body attempt to reconcile.

Often we get lost in this during recovery because things just don't fit together.  We strive for a series of events that fit and many times, these events have not surfaced.  It becomes like putting a puzzle together, and the pieces don't fit until you get enough in place to see the puzzle more clearly.

What our rational brain now sees compared to what was happening during the event does not mesh together.  It is like two separate things attempting to operate at the same time, and it just doesn't work.

I struggle to let go of things.  I struggle to let go of control in life.  When this happens, I increase the anxiety and stress in my life.  Yet, even though the best thing for me to do may be letting go, I cling to it as if it is my existence.  I cling to it because it feels familiar.

Unfortunately the more we try to control everything in life, the more difficult we make it.  Sometimes controlling everything is the worst thing we can do, but when you attempt to tell that to a traumatized brain, it laughs in your face as if you know nothing.

These days, there are many ways that most of us don't let go.  You can see it online in social media where someone just has to get that last word or that insult in.  You see in political discussions that no matter what side you are on, someone is not going to let up until they convince you that their ideas are right.

When couples argue, you can see this first hand.  Neither party often wants to give up and let go, for they are right and the other is wrong.  It is so prevalent throughout relationships, and in friends and people we meet every day.

Often times it shows up as "I'm Right, You're Wrong, " but that just brings more harm, strife, stress, and anxiety to the world.  You may prove your point, but you lose all that matters to yourself, your relationships. and your humanity in this world.

It is not easy to let go.  While it may be easy to say or create happy thoughts about letting go, most humans struggle with this.  Even if you're the most enlightened of individuals, this is not easy to do.  We tend to continually hold on to things that we don't need to hold on to in our lives.

Sometimes on social media, I find myself struggling to just walk away from the insults and arguments.  I've had people mock me for being on Oprah, when if they would understand that the show was about male survivors, most likely they would not have been mocking me.

In those times I want to put them in their place, but then I would become just like them.  My mom always told me to not lower myself to their standards, but keep my head held high.  In essence, she was telling me to "just let it go."

I know it isn't easy to let things go.  I struggle with it too, but don't give up that process.  We create a lot of our stress and a lot of anxiety in our lives and the more we can learn to let go, the better off we will be.  It is a continual process of learning and awareness, not just something you write as a happy thought.

Learn from the process, and let the process of learning to let go be your guide to greater awareness and possibility for your future.  That's what I'm striving to do!

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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It's Not My Circus

Some days it is far too easy to get wrapped up in events that are just not part of our lives.  I'm one that can easily wrap myself up in things that just don't need to be in my life.  Part of that goes with being a highly sensitive person.  I feel so much and want to help others so much.

However, I'm learning more and more that it is not always my circus.  I don't have to engage with everything going on.

We all tend to do this though or the vast majority.  We make things that are not necessarily our issues, into major catastrophes.  When we do that, we rob ourselves of joy and energy, and we place so much stress and trauma on our lives.

If you look at the latest news headlines, there are far too many that eat, breathe, and live this at every turn in their life.  Sure, some of it is important, but if everything becomes the latest headline of the day, you're missing out on so much that truly does matter.  So much of this, we just need to realize that it is not my circus.

There are people who twist everything you say into some political punchline or issue manifesto.  I'm just surprised and shocked by the extent of this.  No matter what you say, someone makes it into their issues that they can't let go.  To that, I have to say, It's Not My Circus!

Some days we are far too shallow in seeing the bigger picture of life.  We focus on the mundane moments that are fed to us as if they are the only things that matter.  We find blame in everyone and everything, but we don't stop and disengage from all these things.

Yes, there is so much going on in our world today, but if we belly up to the bar and drink from its sustenance, we're only adding to the world's problems.  I know this isn't easy to understand, but if we want humanity to come back to the forefront, we have had to take a hard look at why we engage in what we do.

 Sometimes just stepping back and realizing that it's not my circus is the best thing you can do.  Sometimes it is best to step back and breathe and look at the bigger picture.  I'm not saying, close your eyes to what is going on, but make your life into much more than is happening in the world around us.

There a bright big beautiful world out there and social media or the news or your friend's drama are most likely not going to be the ones to enlighten you with what exists.  It is only by disconnecting from the drama will you find a way to discover it.

Sometimes you just have to say, "it's not my circus."

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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The Murky Waters Of Forgiveness

All my life I was taught one thing about this concept, and it messed me up for many years.  Forgiveness is something that is often taught in religious homes of all flavors and in the homes of those that have been abused as children.

Forgiveness is taught as a weapon to get the children under control and to be subservient to someone deemed greater than themselves.  It is taught as a manipulation, that you must do this and let the other person off the hook.

These are the murky waters of forgiveness because they distort the truth and manipulate those that are willing to follow.  I used to live in those murky waters of forgiveness and if anyone dared to challenge me, I dismissed them at will.

I've struggled long and hard with forgiveness because in no way do I want those that hurt me so deeply and badly to have one easy moment in their life.  I don't want them to think that what they did was okay.  I don't want them to have an easy life where they don't fully realize what they did to me.  I'm sorry, but I am human and I was horribly abused.

Was nowhere near ready...

I even had one church go as far as have me come up to the front while all these people prayed and laid hands on me.  It was a forgiveness ritual.  The thing is, I was nowhere near ready to even talk about forgiveness and I ended up resenting it even more.

When my mom passed away, I had friends of the family telling me I should forgive.  They thought that I needed to move on in my life.  However, they did not know the family secrets.  It did not stop them from preaching forgiveness to me.  I walked away and said, "enough is enough".

Oprah and Tyler Perry on forgiveness

When I went to the Oprah 200 Male Survivor episode, I heard Oprah and Tyler Perry talking about forgiveness.  I thought, well how special it was that they can forgive.  I wasn't really buying it at the time because I too thought, why would I ever let the abusers off the hook?

What I have learned though is forgiveness isn't what I was taught.  It isn't about going down on your knees and praying for your abusers to be freed from the prison you live in.  It isn't about them.  It is not about them!

Forgiveness is not a process where you wake up one morning and go everything is over.  That is a fallacy on so many levels that is widely practiced today because of religious teaching.  I'm sorry, I don't believe that is how forgiveness works.

I learn to let go...

Forgiveness is a process where I learn to let go.  It is where I allow myself to start disconnecting from all the horrors and hurt and pain I have been through.   It is about my own healing and discovering who I am.  It is about me learning to deal with the anger I have, the pain that permeates the deepest parts of my soul.  It is about letting go of it all and learning to walk forward without all of this.

Forgiveness is not about letting them off the hook.  I fully hold the abusers in my life accountable for what they did.  It is their job to ask forgiveness of themselves and of me.  Until they do that, I will never let them off the hook.  I'm not even sure I could at that point either.

I don't care what my abusers wish from me and need from me.  They destroyed my life, so they no longer get the option of having that control or say in anything I do.  They gave that up when the violated me.

Forgiveness for me is letting go.  It is stepping away from all that hurt; not ignoring it, but working to move on in my life and heal my life.  It is about me becoming all that I can become.  It is about giving myself a chance for the future.

The only person I have any control over is myself, but if I harbor the anger and resentment toward those who did those things, it will have an impact on me physically.  That is not helpful for me.  Forgiveness is what I need to let go of and I do it by healing and becoming all that I am and was meant to be.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Thrown Into the Fire

Sometimes when you're in the middle of something that is difficult, it isn't easy to see any way forward.  It is not easy to understand that it might be the most helpful thing for you.  In fact, sometimes it is just too much too bear, that the last thing you want to think about is how helpful it may be.

In the past several months, I've had extremely difficult moments to deal with in life.  It isn't the first time this has happened and most likely won't be the last.  I was thrown into the fire like no other time I have easily seen.

If you would have told me that what I was going through was good, I would have most likely slapped ya up-side the head.  I would not have believed you.  I would not have listened to you at that moment.

It just kept howling at me...

Yet, as I think back and see all the stuff that was piling on, I'm beginning to see just why it did what it did.  One event would have been an annoyance, but event after event after experience piled on like snow drifting in a snowstorm.  It didn't stop!  It just kept howling at me at every turn.

At one point, I was ready to give up.  In fact, after one experience, I cried so hard that I could barely stop.  The pain hurt deeply.  The wound that was inflicted cut all the way through me.  I took off for the mountains to get away and find a break from it all.

I had felt so abandoned and alone, hurt and abused, and wondering where in the heck my life was going.  The mountains and the trees were my only refuge at that point.  I took off, wondering if I would even want to come back.  I took off, not caring if I really stayed alive another day.  The pain was so great, I could barely handle it.  I was thrown into the fire.

I could barely function...

As the fire raged on in my life, there was one thing after another.  It didn't stop and there were physical issues that showed up from being so exhausted where I could barely function in a day, to having to deal with a horrible rash in one of the worst places it could end up.

It felt like my life was falling apart.  It felt like there was no tomorrow. I could not get a handle on anything.  I could not get a break.  It just kept going, one experience and event after another.  I tried to hang on, but even that was exhausting.

I finally started thinking - OK - life, just have your way.  I can't control this anyway, so you might as well do whatever it is you're going to do.  I started working on surrendering to the horrible part of being thrown into the fire, even though that was far more difficult than it is to write these words.

I had no clue how to proceed...

I tried to focus as I was being thrown into the fire, but that was more difficult than breathing.  My mind was anywhere but on how to proceed.  I had no clue how to proceed or deal with any of this that was happening.

As the days went, I began to piece things together.  I began to see things a little more clearly each day.  No, it was not like everything came into view all at once.  If I sat here and said that I see the whole picture at this moment, I would be lying.  Each day, a little more shows up.  Each day I see just a little more.

The one thing that I notice is my life is changing.  I'm beginning to drop some of the long held anger in my life.  Granted, from being abused and tortured, I have a right to be as angry as I am.  It is hard to let go of that anger.  It is more than just thinking I am letting go or saying the words "I am letting go".  Maybe that works for some, but this is the cellular level of consciousness that I'm working through.

It was burning up the stuff deep inside...

The fire is all the events that were happening.  The one event after another that was consuming me.  While I thought it was consuming me (the person), I realize now that it was burning up so much of this stuff deep within me that I struggled to release and get rid of in my life.

If you burn wet and soft wood in a fireplace, the soot will build up.  If it builds up, the chimney needs to be cleaned.  You can do this a number of ways, but if you light a hot fire or a brief one in the chimney, it goes a long ways to cleaning the soot out.  (This is merely an example, not something you should try at home).

Sometimes in our life, the only way to get rid of the soot in the chimney is to burn it out.  When we are in the fire, it is then that we are attempting to get rid of that which is not helping us.  We may not see it in the moment.  It may feel like an overwhelming experience that you cannot even begin to understand this point I'm writing about.  Hey, that's okay.  I understand because I have walked through these hot stones.

The more I began to find peace...

The more I allowed the stuff that had caused me great pain to be consumed by the fire I was in, the more I began to find peace.  If I tried to hold on to the pain of those moments, I continued to stoke the fire.  No, it was not easy.  It was much more difficult than I'm writing.

I had to be patient with myself and let go of all that stuff that happened.  It was a collection of many experiences and triggers in life from years gone by, showing up as every day moments.  These were traces of things that I had worked on, but by them coming at me all at once, it ignited the fire in the furnace so much, that it ended up consuming them.

Now they are nothing more than ashes in my life that I can sweep out and make room for things that are much better and more beneficial for me.  I'm sure, there are other things that I will find as I go deeper into my own consciousness, but I know that the fire helped me.  It helped me let go of things that I've struggled with every day.

Life isn't perfect, but I can see some of those issues drastically better than they were.  I can feel like I'm more in control of them than I was and that helps boost my peace and self confidence to take on bigger tasks ahead.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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When and How To Let Go and Forgive

One of the most common things I see online is memes where people make life seem so easy to live.   One such subject is they tell you that holding on to things in life is the worst thing you can do and that you need to let go.

While it is good to let go, it is often much more difficult than everyone makes it out to be.  It isn't always something as simple as writing a meme or sharing a meme online.  In fact, its a rather difficult process for most people and if it isn't, maybe a reviews is in order.

Letting go isn't a single moment in time, but it can be.  There is no timeline of when it should happen.  There is no one out there that can tell you when or how to let go.  It is all up to each one of us personally and individually.

I've seen people talk about forgiveness and make it out to be the most important focus in life.  Unfortunately for many folks, the concept of forgiveness has been so obliterated by certain segments of our society, that forgiveness is anything but a positive experience.  It doesn't stop people strongly pushing others and shaming them almost, into thinking that if you don't forgive, there's something wrong with you.

Forgiveness is a process...

Forgiveness is a process just like letting go.  It doesn't happen overnight.  It takes healing and a continual journey through your own life.  It isn't like you wake up one morning and the heavens have parted.  It is more in the way that you continue to let go of what is there and the more you do this, the more it no longer impacts your life.

Often, people tell others they need to forgive or let go because of how it makes them feel.  They may not have healed all these similar parts in their own life and so by you being in the place you are at, it makes them feel uncomfortable.  Often when we have not fully healed our own lives, we project that on to others and we identify with their pain as if it were our own.

Let forgiveness come naturally...

Don't get me wrong, because I know learning to forgive and letting go is an important part of advanced healing in one's life.  It doesn't mean you do that when you start out.  It means you focus on healing your life and let the forgiveness and letting go come naturally in its own time.

Too often we think that if we say the words or think the thoughts that we have forgiven someone and it will make everything better.  We may fool ourselves into believing this, but it may just be an opportunity to hide and bury all the baggage of life in a deeper closet.  We need to be careful that when we say we have forgiven or we have let go, that we truly mean that from our internal consciousness and awareness, not our ego brain or the need to placate others.

A long time ago, some people in a church had me come up front at the end of a service.  They laid hands on me and in prayer, they had me forgive my abusers.  Guess what?  That did far more damage to me, than any good that could have possibly come out of it.  I was not at the point of being ready to forgive.  Far too much of what had happened to me was still in that elusive state where I was not even ready to acknowledge its existence.

You see, we throw around memes all day long, but sometimes they can truly hurt those who have already been hurt.  We end up shaming people because they don't fall in line with how we see forgiveness or letting go or even if we are close to that point in our healing journey.  There is a time for anger and remembering and reliving.  No one can tell anyone at what point that needs to end.  It is all up to the individual person to find that path for them self.

Do everyone a favor in determining when and how to let go or forgive and let them find their way.  Allow it to unfold in whatever way it needs to and in the timeline it needs to appear.  Don't force it and don't create something that is not there.  Be okay with this moment because although it may be a very difficult time, it is part of your healing.  It is part of letting go and moving on in life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Making A Decision Is Hard

For months I agonized over the decision.  My friends could see that I needed to do this more easily than I think I could.  I don't think it isn't that I could not see it, the decision was just not easy.  Letting go is hard to do.

After all, there were parts of me that really like the job and role that I was doing.  In fact, even in my final days, those parts still reside in me.  I've been a part of this project from the early days of it becoming reality in the world and so it feels like my baby in a way.  I know it isn't my possession, but it feels that way.  I have a strong connection to it.

Leading up to the point of turning in my resignation, I had read many things by many people where they struggled with the same decision to quit a job.  Yes, I've had those that tell me you need to find a job first before you quit.  I don't follow the same tired and worn out rules like everyone else.  I tend to forge my own pathway.  Regardless, letting go of the job was hard to do.

Letting Go In Life

We all hold on to so much in our day, in our lives and in our bodies.  We carry this through each moment as tension, pain, numbness, fatigue and various other ways.  Letting go in life is not easy.  It is difficult for most people to do.

We are all masters at holding on to things in life, but letting go is much more difficult.  Have you felt the tension in your back by carrying too great of a load in life?  Has your life become tiring because you felt like you had to keep plugging away and not stop or let up?  Do you just not feel life fully because you've carried so much around your neck for so many years?

Holding on in our life shows up in many ways and it usually shows up in the body.  If we are attentive and conscious, we will see it.  If not, we will hide it through numbness.  Even if we smile a lot and recite mantras all day long, it does not mean we have this under control.  In fact, it might most likely be the opposite.  Again, letting go in life is difficult but holding on is the norm.

Sometimes Change Is Hard

We all come up on those moments in life where we know things have to be different.  We all know that sometimes changes is hard.  Yet, it doesn't make it any easier and sometimes it feels like it is more than we can take.

I wish I had a magic wand to make this easier for myself and everyone reading this blog post.  I wish I could go abracadabra and everything would be a sunny day with pretty rainbows.  Unfortunately I can't do that and neither can you.

In some ways, if things were always easy, I'm not really sure we would learn as much as we need to.  I think we would rob ourselves of moments where we build on for the future.  Easy is not always best.  That is why I think that sometimes change is hard.

We're often building a foundation for the future.  We're opening our eyes to see things we haven't seen.  We are becoming aware of thoughts and concepts and a consciousness that we may not yet posses.  Sometimes change is hard so all of this comes together and happens.

Letting Go Is Hard To Do

It seems like I can practice it, but then it comes on with the fury of a storm.  I'm just saying that letting go is hard to do.  Some days are better than others and some days are harder than others.

The stress and frustration level is high, but maybe that's the point.  Maybe it is the lesson I need to learn.  Maybe it is teaching me how to deal with high levels of stress and frustration.  So far, I haven't figured it out, but letting go of the stress and frustration is hard to do.

Disappointment gets to me.  I hate it when other people intentionally let me down.  I try to look past it and I try to move beyond it, but let's face it - letting go is hard to do.  I'm not the only one that struggles with this.  I believe it is part of the human experience.

Through all the experiences in life, it sometimes has been pretty hard to let go.  I've been through some horrible abuse and torture and while I've managed to dump a lot of it, I'm always amazed at how many layers of the onion there is.  It isn't easy and its a continual process of allowing things to surface, work through them, and forgive those moments.

Learning Its Not My Job

For a long time, I thought I had to do everything.  I thought I had to be the one with the answers, the solutions, the steps and process.  I didn't see others rising to that occasion, so I made sure I filled the void.  Maybe my ego was too great or maybe it was a survival technique I learned from years past.

Learning it is not my job is one of the most exhilarating feelings of freedom I've experienced lately.  Sure, there are things that need to get done in my job, but I realize I can't do it all.  I realize that if I sometimes step back and allow the other individuals to take that role, its much more healthy for me.

I still have those inclinations to step in and do it all because I can, but when I do that, I exhaust myself.  I wear myself down.  I lose sense of my ability to balance life.

Letting Go

Once again, I'm met with challenges in life.  Aren't we all!  Its never easy it seems whether it is work related, family, business or just every day life.  Some days are easier and carefree than others, but some days just create drama.

I realize it is all part of my own growth and learning process.  Letting go, just isn't easy for me.  I often feel the emotional entanglements of everything going on around me.  I often feel what others feel to the degree that sometimes it clouds my own comprehension of what is going on within me.  I know that and I get it, but sometimes it doesn't make it any easier.

A recent situation came up and it was one of those that could have easily taken me under.  I really tried not to shield myself from what was going on and staying engaged with it, but I tried to not become emotionally attached to it.  Letting go was something I was working on.

Critical Thinking Lacking In Stress And Survival

Lately I've had more than my share of rough moments in life.  The stress and anxiety has been through the roof.  Trying to juggle many things at the same time and dealing with people who are anything but human, is challenging beyond belief.  In these moments, its hard to just function in a given day, let alone try to advance yourself.

Critical thinking is often lacking in times of stress and survival.  After all, in moments where the lions of life are chasing you, you're not trying to plan out how you're going to build your dream home or what you need to buy at the store.  You're mainly just trying to outrun the lions and keep the yapping jaws from clenching their teeth into you.

Some days I am not sure how to deal with everything.  I'm sure friends and people close to me are tired of hearing me complain.  Yet, if I don't let this stuff out, it just builds up inside of me to the point I want to seriously do some harm.  I've never been good with letting anger go, although I've come a long way in learning how to deal with it.

I'm Tired Of Misery

What if for today only, I drew a line in the sand?  What if for today only, I said enough is enough?  I'm tired of misery.  I'm tired of the struggle.  What if for today I said, no more!

My body has struggled physically over the past few months.  I feel it through tension in my neck, my shoulders, my arms and sometimes my legs.  I feel it in pain that travels my body like a traveling circus.  I feel it in my emotions; ready to snap at others and feeling so full of anger and frustration.

What if for today, I said no to misery.  What if I began to change how I view the current situation I am in?  I really have nothing to lose because what I am doing at the current moment is not working.

Sometimes we just have to draw a line in the sand and so no more.  I'm tired of misery.  I know that isn't easy to do as I've been practicing misery my entire life.  The misery almost seems like a nagging friend that I do not want.

Holding On or Letting Go In Healing

It seems like we as humans can sometimes miss the forest for the trees and even if someone points this out, we cannot even see it.  All too often in healing, we are holding on to all that is not healthy for our life, but letting go of it is like asking someone to climb the tallest mountain.  Most likely it isn't going to happen.  You can stand there in plain view of what needs to happen, but because life is so entrenched in what we have been taught to believe is true, we lose site of the forest for the trees.

When I have gone through some of my most challenging moments in life, I did not always want to let go.  Even though I gave lip service to that fact and tried to make people believe I did, in all reality, I was just holding on.  Letting go was scary even if what I needed to release was not helping me progress in life.  When something is scary, we often pull back in and retreat, hoping the fearful moment will soon pass.  It is easier that way in life, but it does not move you forward.

We can claim all day long that the doctors have it wrong, or the therapist does not know what they are saying.  We can claim that a diagnosis is anything but correct for us and we can continue to demand answers, but in the end the reality will slap us in the face.  Acting as if you have your life together and everything is going fine, will most likely not get you to the answers you need for your life.  They may make you feel safe and secure, but sometimes we need to be shoved out of the nest so we can learn to fly.

Believing In Our Memories

Believing In Our Memories

In the book, You Are The Answer, by Michael Tamura, states on page 168 that "we have such power and ability to make these pictures come alive that we end up believing in them more than we do in ourselves". While this may sound like a simple truth, it is much more real in our every day life than we may want to admit.

We all have memories and we form those memories out of pictures or images of these moments imprinted with emotions when they were created. The memory pictures of our mind are created beginning at an early age and continue to our current moment. Often these previous memory pictures play over and over throughout our day.

Letting Go When Life Unravels

Letting Go When Life Unravels

It is so easy to see the difficult moments in life as an end to all that we know. When life unravels, we tend to unravel as a result. After all, who can blame anyone when times look bleak and all hope seems to be lost.

However, I read something the other day that made sense to me. Paraphrasing what I read, it was stated that when life unravels, that is a good thing because it means we are getting rid of the old and letting go. We are in the process of clearing out our life so the new chapter of our life can begin.

Oprah Surrenders And Lets It Go

Oprah's Master Class on OWN
Surrender And Let Go

From Oprah's Master class, I found a YouTube video on one of her beginning experiences in letting go and connecting to source energy.  Talking about how she became part of the cast of the Color Purple movie, is breath taking, especially when she tells it in her own personal way.

I am sure during these moments, it was extremely difficult to keep going and most likely they did not all happen quickly as in telling the story.  In fact, I think she does state that there was considerable time that passed.  She struggled along the way and it was not easy for Oprah to understand what had happened or where she was in her life at that moment.

It was when Oprah decided to let go and release all the anger, bitterness, and frustration to her source energy that things changed.  She saw as a result,

What If Scenarios Of Letting Go

What If You Let Go?

What if for one moment you did something different in your day than you normally would?  How would that change your day?

What if for one moment, you chose to think about something differently than you had ever done before?

What if for this moment, you allowed yourself a different thought, different action or just the opportunity to look at life outside of your norm?

What if for this moment, you took a step into the unknown of life, using all the power of the fear you had to propel yourself forward?

What if you let go in life of all that you held dear to truly find who you were and your place on this journey?

What if you told yourself that you had enough of what you were going through and you just released all of it to the universe?

What if you gave up the energy that you may be holding around an event even though it could be one of the hardest things for you to do?

What if you just let go of that which you are holding and see how it could change life?

What if you identified that which no longer serves you in your life and then took steps to release it into the wind?

YouTube Video On Forgiveness And Letting Go

I recently found this video on forgiveness and letting go and just had to share it on this blog.  Like many people in this world, I have struggled with forgiveness.  What I was taught that forgiveness was and what it actually is, are two different things.  For me, it was all about letting the abuser or offender off the hook and acting as if it never happened.

There is a very good reason why we are taught as children to do this especially in our family units.  If the parents feel guilty, than the best way for them to get rid of the guilt is to get you to act as if it didn't happen.  The subtle difference here in what forgiveness is truly about and what happens in many families is profound.