Thursday, December 4, 2014

Overwhelmed By All That I Sense

Some days I get really tired of it.  I pick up way too much from others whether it is reading words online or being in close proximity to another person.  I see what isn't written, and I feel what they are feeling.  I see what lies behind the body expressions or the words that are spoken and the sounds I hear.  To me, it is all just a normal part of life I deal with and often exhausts me.

Yes, I'm learning how to dial it down, but I still feel the energy and feelings that surround me.  It is like everyone walks around with this big bubble of stuff on the outside and in that it is filled with so much information about them.  That's the part I pick up constantly.  It is no different for me, then looking at someone and seeing what color hair they have, or the colors they are wearing or any other thing you may notice in someone.

I've had people tell me to do all kinds of things to help, but to be honest, none of the "recommendations" help one iota.  I'd have to be dead to not pick it up.  Yes, sometimes I do like others do and numb out so I don't pick up anything.  Unfortunately when I do that, it causes much harm to myself.

Its more than being a highly sensitive person of which I am.  It is about seeing and sensing and just connecting with a vast array of data that bombards me.  I'm aware of it all.  I see it all.  I feel it all.

And sometimes it sucks!

Sometimes I just want to close my eyes, but it isn't only my eyes that can see it.  Sometimes I no longer want to feel it, but the feeling engulfs me like waves of data bouncing back and forth to me.  It doesn't matter what I don't want to feel, it is coming my direction constantly.  God forbid when the mental thoughts start doing the same thing because then it is overwhelming.

You see, I believe (based upon my own personal experience and observing others) that there is so much we don't see or take notice of in a day.  Most of the time we're oblivious to the data streams that surround us.  We can barely notice a tree or flower in our day, let alone all this stuff that is relatively unseen.  You can call me crazy or a wacko or think I'm too far out there, but again this is my own personal experience.

And it doesn't even need to be people in close contact with me.  I get the moods and collective feelings of areas within our country or around the world.  The more intense it is, the more I feel.  The more dramatic the events, the more it weighs upon me.

There is so much noise in our day that prevents us from seeing exactly what is out there at any given moment.  Whether it is just plain every day noise or the screaming of opinionated people, it fills too much of our minds, cells, and our heart.  There is no such thing as "silence" these days.  We just tune out the noise and call it silence.  The body needs silence.  Too much noise puts us on overload.

The more intense life gets, the more these things pick up.  I get frustrated by them, because they overwhelm me.  Some day I will understand how to put more of this together in my own life, but for now - it sucks.

And yes, I do try to do things to help alleviate, but the volumes of this data is running at record paces.  There is just so much data and its hard to filter and process it all.   Even though it sometimes feels like a curse to have all of this sensory perception, I know at some point I'll be able to use it for much more than I currently am able and it will all make sense.  It is a time of learning and growth for me as I travel into these unknown and non-discussed regions of our planet and its inhabitants.

Or so, that's what I keep trying to tell myself.

Blog Post And Images (c) 11/27/14 by Don Shetterly

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