Why Didn't I Publicly Expose The Child Molesters

Written By Don Shetterly

Many years ago, I knew an attorney that wanted to take the people who abused me to court.  He thought they should be held accountable and he worked hard to convince me to file a lawsuit.  The statute of limitations was not something I was aware of at the time, but it wouldn't have mattered.

Why didn't I publicly expose the child molesters?

First off, I didn't want to relieve everything I had been through.  I was working hard at coming to terms with it and all of its impacts on my life.  I was tired of dealing with it, thinking about it and talking to others about it.  It was controlling so much of my life through depression and anxiety and intense fear, that I wanted nothing to do with it.

Secondly, I knew that if I tried to come forward, I would be ridiculed and threatened.  I knew that they would turn my words on me as if I was lying.  I knew that they would turn everyone I knew against me and then some.  These were wicked and evil people that stopped at nothing to silence me.  Heck, they already had done most of this so it wouldn't have been new to me.  I just wanted it over.

Third, I was still coming to terms with what happened to me.  It wasn't like I could say everything out loud.  I was not at that point.  Much of it, I had not even realized was not normal that they did to me.  You can read my book if you want to know more on that subject.  When you grow up with this stuff, you don't know any different.  Filing a lawsuit to publicly expose the child molesters was difficult to fathom.  What was right and wrong?  What was normal or abnormal.  None of those things were clear to me.

Fourth, I had pieces of stories and memories but not the full account.  My brain was still trying to protect me.  After all, I almost lost my life in the conversion disorder, and so my brain was in super protection mode.  There were many holes in what I could remember.  As Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk says, our minds remember too much and too little.

The fifth reason why I didn't publicly expose the child molesters is that I wanted nothing to do with them.  I was trying to stay hidden from them for the threats that had been made against my life.  I had no desire to talk to them, see them or have any connection with them.  I wanted absolute disconnect with the child molesters.  It was not easy living this way, but for me to survive, I had to completely let them go.

It isn't easy!

It is easy for others that have not been through the circumstances you have been through to say this is what you should do or what you should not do.  It is easy for others to criticize and be the judge, jury, and executioner, but until you've walked through my experiences in life, you don't know what I've had to live with every day.

To come forward and share what happened to you means you have to deal with the shame of what you went through.  Even if you did nothing wrong, the child molester inflicts shame upon you.  It is a shame that eats you alive and sinks you into despair.  Coming forward to publicly expose the child molesters means you have to deal with all of this horror once again.  It is not easy.  It is not welcomed.

When I see the victims of child abuse or other abusive situations come forward and hear people rip them to shreds, I want to take a baseball bat to the loudmouths of our day.  It makes me angry.  Yes, I realize that some fake people that do this and they are no better than the child molesters.

It takes great courage to speak out.  It takes great courage to confront these monsters in your life because they consume you.  They push you into depression, anxiety, and suicide.  They rob your life completely.  There is nothing left for you when you decide to speak out publicly.

Another thing that happened to me and happens with many is the fear that is instilled in you.  I was told many things that would happen to me if I dared tell.  I saw my pets killed and shot at and beat.  I witnessed many things within the family that would make you know there was no idle threat.

Why didn't I publicly expose the child molesters you ask?  Well, look at what happens today when people start to speak up.  They are not believed.  They are ridiculed and berated and mutilated in public opinion.  It isn't easy to deal with that in private.  I can't imagine what it is like to deal with it in public especially when it wasn't by your choice to do this.

We should be standing in support of those who have been molested and abused, not as enemies of them.  We should be standing up for the rights of all children, not just the ones that fit our narrow-minded thinking.  Turning a blind eye to the issue of child abuse in a family or in your church or city or anything else should not be tolerated.  It should not be the norm.

If we don't take care of our children, who will?  If we spit on those that publicly expose child molesters and abusive people, what kind of society and human race are we?  We gasp at the headline child abuse stories, but we turn our heads to what happens in our own backyards.

We make sacrifices out of the victims while we protect the child molesters at all costs.  We are so messed up on this issue in our society on this issue.  There are far too many cases for us to point the fingers at others because so much of this goes on in our backyards and family dwellings.

Why didn't I publicly expose the child molesters you ask?  Isn't it obvious?  Just look at what happens in the news headlines and then ask that question again. Those that abused me as a child will never pay for their crimes.  They have prayed to Jesus for forgiveness and most likely are still doing what they always did.

One of the ones that abused me is at least in a VA hospital and most likely not a threat to children.  The other one, God only knows!  Hopefully, he is not still abusing kids in the church he goes to, but I have no way to find out.

Am I bitter and angry for what they did to me?  Yes!  The laws of Iowa don't protect me because of the statute of limitations.  So, I'm left to pick up the pieces of my life while the child molesters roam free accusing me of being brainwashed and spreading lies.

How just is that?  Unfortunately, it is the norm!

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I Often Hate My Name

I know, you're not supposed to feel this way.  I realize my name is my vibrational marker in this world, but oh - what I wouldn't give to change it.  In fact, I almost did change my name but got cold feet.

You see, I was afraid of what my family and my friends would think if I changed my name.  It is probably the one thing that held me back from doing this.

Growing up, my Dad used my full name starting with my first name of Donald as a way to indicate he was pretty angry at me.  If I heard it, I cringed.

I knew what was coming and there was no escaping it.  The more you tried, the worse the punishment.  It didn't matter if you had really done nothing wrong.  It only mattered that he needed someone to blame for whatever it was he was upset about in that moment.

On top of it, my dad loved nicknames.  I was a small baby at birth and so they nicknamed me pee wee.  I can't actually believe I am even writing about any of this.  It feels shameful and humiliating to me.   Even though I had to endure this at home, I tried my hardest to not get names attached to me in school.

One day in Kindergarten I took a new plastic truck to school for show and tell.  My dad thought I needed to put my name on it even though there is no way I would have let that toy truck out of my sight.  We didn't have many toys in the first place.  The name he wrote on the bottom of it in big black letters - PEE WEE.  Talk about making your stomach turn flip-flops all day.

I also remember hearing my dad pound his fist on the table and scream,

"we're family and we will be proud of our last name. We will love one another no matter what or I will make sure we do."  

He preached the last name as if it was something great.  I cringed in these multi-hour tirades he would have where you had to sit at attention and listen to him intently or he would keep going longer. 

He was so proud of the last name and it sucked to me.  To me, it stood for sexual and physical abuse.  It stood for mental manipulation, mind control, thought control and no freedom.  It stood for anything but love and respect like he demanded that it did.  He is more than welcome to be proud of it if he wants, but it has a devastating effect on me.

There are many more things that have happened where I just hate my name.  My full first name, Donald, was used as a weapon.  It was not one of respect or love or compassion.  When I heard it used, my fear went "oh oh... what did I do wrong now?"  This was immediately followed by dread and fear and anxiety which happened almost every day it seemed.

Now at this point in my life, I made sure I had no kids.  My siblings had daughters so there is no chance they will pass our family name on.  I had no kids, so effectively it stops with me.  I cannot think of a better way to win over what my dad did to me than deprive him of passing on the name he was so proud of when I was a kid.

I don't know if I will ever get to the point I love my full legal name, but if you meet me, there's a good chance, you'll hear the first name I go by now and you would have to ask me what my last name is.  I don't readily give it out.  I don't readily use it.  I want nothing to do with the last name.  If you call me Donald, you're probably going to get ignored or get an angry response.

It is difficult to deal with this part of my life.  I know the vibration of our name means a lot, but it is a source of pain that I have to live with for the rest of my life.  I may still change it yet, but now that I've got music and books out, that may get more tricky.  I know it will follow me until the day that I die and I wish it wasn't so.  Even if I changed it, the name is still attached to me and that sucks!

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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The Trauma of Accepting Our Trauma

It can literally take five minutes of trauma to permanently affect a child’s life. It does not necessarily matter what the trauma is or if it happened only once or multiple times, the underlying damage can physically alter the development of certain areas of the brain thereby altering the development of personality. This is particularly true in cases of childhood sexual abuse.

During the trauma we simply do not have the capabilities to cope with the situation, so the natural instinct of the brain kicks in and the emotional center is quickly replaced by the instinctual (reptilian) portion of the brain. The mind does what it needs to survive the trauma at the time, which is basically to shut down and kick into survival mode, since our brains are entirely unable to process what has happened.

Fast forward an undetermined period of time and our brains are as developed as they are going to be and are now better equipped to cope with our childhood traumas and despite our desperate attempts to keep these memories repressed, they slowly start to exit their domain of safety and creep their way towards the front of our brains.

Those seemingly unexplainable actions and behaviors, the bad habits and negative coping skills and the diagnoses of whatever mental illness, all really do have an underlying reason. The emotional outbursts were not displays for show and the random and often harmful acts were not cries for attention. The lack of ability to fully bond and trust was in no way meant to be malicious. The darkness that you have carried in your heart and soul has cast a shadow that has dimmed your entire perspective of life.

Once the memory is at the forefront, we can either spend a tremendous amount of emotional energy trying to repress it again, or we can try to ignore it, but somehow it always seems to rear its ugly head. The process of accepting these memories as truths is not only the first and perhaps most difficult step in the healing process but is also multi-faceted.

To believe these atrocities happened to us brings about intense feelings of shame, confusion and anger. We question why this happened to us, or what we did to deserve it. We can’t accept that it isn’t our fault and self-blame torments us for years. Even our adult brain has trouble comprehending that these memories are actually real. We cannot understand how someone we knew or trusted or even loved could violate us in such a traumatic manner that it forever changed our views of the world, and of ourselves. It marred our ability to trust, set boundaries and have healthy relationships. The feelings of shame have weighed us down and burdened us throughout our lives and the emotional weight of the trauma that has held us captive for years finally breaks our back.

What alternative do we have aside from accepting these new truths that are not only completely overwhelming but seemingly impossible? We are almost forced by our minds to deal with our trauma whether we believe we are ready or not. We are guided directly through the middle of it as there seems to be no true detour.

Acceptance involves challenging the only values and beliefs we know, and puts into question our already fragile sense of self. It requires setting new emotional boundaries and learning to place the blame where it rightly belongs. It often means we will have to emotionally and sometimes physically remove ourselves from the lives of certain family or friends. It means taking a step back from life in order to get a different viewpoint.

Acceptance forces us to look deep inside at the shame we have been unnecessarily carrying around for a lifetime and realize it is actually not our burden to carry. It means opening up wounds that we have already formed scars over in order to heal properly. Accepting our abuse, however hard and trying it may be is the beginning to the end goal of healing.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Jody

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Are You Ready To Heal It?

Often we come up against things in our life where they feel more difficult than we wish, but we're not ready to do anything different.  We may not be in a place where we've gone through all that we need to or were ready to move beyond it.  The question we all need to ask ourselves is "are you ready to heal it?"

Too often we want to push through what we are at because of the discomfort.  It can be very painful.  It can be very difficult to deal with and it can be overwhelming.  Sometimes we just so badly want the pains and horrible moments of life to disappear.

Yet, we may not be ready to heal it.  We may not be ready to move beyond where we are at and go the distance.  We may only be in the spot where we are beginning to notice it and align with all that it is.

There may be a negative pleasure associated with where we are at.  Often times, there is some attraction to what it is that we face, even if we are unaware or unconscious of it.  You see this displayed all the time in relationships that have gone bad.  Because of the fear of being alone and not loved, two people stay together.  This is negative pleasure.  We all do it.  It is part of being human and experiencing life through the human perspective.

Book Review: Daring Greatly - Brene Brown

I'm only partially into this book and I can barely put it down!  I saw the original TED talk on YouTube and that blew my mind away.  The book is basically adding to that!  Thanks Brene Brown for blowing my mind!  (and I say that in a good way).  Daring  Greatly was featured on OWN Super Soul Sunday a few weeks back and rightfully so!

Most likely there are people out there that are yawning and thinking that talking about vulnerability and shame are like the most boring subjects one could discuss.  Or perhaps like an example I just saw, they dismiss it because it hits too close to home.  It could be that others just don't see this as being worthy enough of their time to read.  I'd offer up in a very strong and forceful way that if you fall into these categories, you really need to read this book.

It is so down to earth and a very simple read.  It is written just as Brene Brown would give a lecture and tell a story.  There is not one part of it that is boring or just academic or one of those college texts you have to read when you're in school.  Most books like this, I can only read a little bit before my eyes are drifting off, but this one - it holds my attention.  In fact, Daring Greatly, holds my attention to the point I don't want to quit reading it.

Major Moment Of Embarrassment And Shame

The other day I went to a healer in South Florida by the name of Kathi Angeli.  I have been to her several times before and each time, it really helps me move forward in life, while letting go of long held energy blockages and finding forgiveness for experiences of my past that I encountered.  This session was no different and at first, I thought it was not going anywhere.  Lo and behold to my surprise, things got intense real quick and I was shocked at the event that came up.

Way back many years ago around the time I was 14 years old, there was an incident that happened with me and my younger brother.  I don't think I had hid this experience from my consciousness, but I never fully realized just what impact it had on my life.  In reality, I just chalked it up to another one of those experiences from my traumatic past that I had to heal and work through.  In fact, I thought I had worked through it, but then healing trauma is a process, not necessarily an end point like so many often believe.

In this experience, my mother (God rest her soul) who hardly ever whipped us, got upset with something my younger brother and I were doing.  I cannot even remember what it was to this day that sparked the whipping. I really doubt it was much of any significance.  In our house, the slightest breath could get you whipped.  I recognize she was having issues with my father and more than likely took that out on us, rather than dealing with it in her own life.

Having The Courage To Be Vulnerable

All my life, I have been afraid to let people see who I truly was.  Growing up in the house that I did, you had to guard yourself from what others saw in you.  For these people I in the house I grew up in, would use these things to their advantage and to my disadvantage.

You see, one of the most horrifying experiences in my life other than being raped when I was only five years old and then molested on a daily basis was trying to hide myself from the monsters in my family.  They would constantly watch me and if I showed any signs of connection to them, they would go in for the kill.  They knew they had me and it was like my power was inactivated in that moment.

As I grew older and went through puberty, the monsters in my family watched my body with the precision of a microscope.  If there was a the slightest sexual stimulation in my jeans, they would not miss it.  It was like that gave them permission to play out scenarios that had become constant daily routines.  Any young boy going through puberty gets stimulated sexually at the smallest of events.  These monsters used that against me to the point where I was afraid to be seen.  I tried hard not to let them see me, but it seemed to be inevitable.  The last time the scenario played out was right before my older brother got married.

Forgiveness Is Difficult

Through very personal moments, I find that forgiveness can be extremely difficult. When you are hurt by people you care about, it is easy to feel confused, upset, and angered. However, forgiveness is the most difficult step after the point of being hurt.

Yes, I realize now, forgiveness is all about letting go and while that sounds like a simple and dignified definition, it isn't always that easy. Everyone has their own opinion as to what forgiveness means from the strict religious view and interpretations there of, to the new age philosophies that are abundant.

For me, I've traveled through some difficult waters many times over in my life. Once again, I'm reminded of the turbulent oceans beneath my feet. When you get used and abused regardless of what form it takes, the hurts and pains attack as an army attacks its enemy. It is relentless and full of power, or so it seems to be that way.

As you add some codependent guilt and shame on top of the hurt, it makes the process of letting go that much more difficult. It becomes something that is not only the energy of your own process but has attached to it, the energy of others. Cutting the cords of attachment between the two is sometimes only accomplished through a highly skillful surgical approach.

All too often, there are moments of forgiveness that are met with lonesomeness since the people that hurt us often shun us or close their ears to what we try to express. In those moments, we must tread on through our journey and continue to learn to let go of those pains and hurts.

It is not easy no matter how you look at it or slice it in pieces. The hurts are still there but in order for us to move forward and reclaim our life, we have to let go. If we don't forgive at some point, we are harboring all that was done to us and giving it much more power than it deserves.

For a long time, I struggled with this concept and slowly I am beginning to understand it. Once again, through an event I was involved with, the lesson has reared its ugly head. I do realize that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person but has everything to do with how I see myself and love myself. Yet, my mind struggles to comprehend these things.

The final note I want to share is that forgiveness is a process. It is about learning to let go and allowing the hurts and pains to be felt, experienced and realized. Forgiveness is not something you do in some special ceremony where poof, the magic dragon is slayed. It is not someone standing up and proclaiming, I forgive you (although that can definitely help). I would suggest that forgiveness is something that is ongoing and one day you wake up realizing that the hurts and pains of the past hold no further power over you. Then, at that moment, you have forgiven what was done to you.


Further Reading
1) Finding Self Forgiveness and Self Love
2) Forgiveness For Survivors Of Sexual Abuse
3) Release It, Let It Go (Pg 97 - Hope And Possibility Through Trauma)



Blog Post & Images (c) 5/2/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Loved By Your Enemy

I love the works of Joy Harjo, whether it is just poems or the poems put to music. She has written some very powerful works that if you listen to them, they make you go inside and really think. Every time I listen to her stuff, I always get something different from it.

Joy Harjo is famous to many for her poem titled, "Fear Poem". She also has a CD called "Letter From The End Of The Twentieth Century" that I love to listen to. My other favorite poem is "She Had Some Horses".

On the CD, there is a song "Letter From The End Of The Twentieth Century" that is also the same title as the CD. It is a song that I think is appropriate for today in my mind because of the events that have just unfolded.

In the song she talks about riding in a taxi in Chicago, with the driver Rammi. The story continues to unfold about Rammi's friend, that one morning someone asked him for money as he was filling up his car with gas. He told the person, that he was sorry but he did not have anything he could give him. As the friend turned his back to finish filling his gas tank up, a gunshot wound killed his friend.

A family member of his murdered friend decided to track the killer down. He wanted to get revenge and take the life of the killer but his mother's grief moves his heart. In the words of his mother, "there is always a choice, even after death."

As his heart was warmed by his mother's words, the story says that he gives the killer his favorite name and calls him his brother. The killer is no longer shamed but filled with remorse and cries the cries of a thousand years. The killer learns to love himself as he never could because his enemies love him.

It is a powerful story and poem that Joy Harjo puts to music but it really reminds me that no matter what choices we make, we can impact others in a positive way or we can continue to carry with us, what happened in a distant time. Our anger is often justified, but what we do with that anger is what makes us human.

You really need to check out the song because it is much more powerful to hear than what I can share in these words. It truly brings this entire story and thought alive if you listen to it.


Further Information
1) Fear Of The Dentist, Part 3
2) Letter From The End Of The Twentieth Century on iTunes



Blog Post & Images (c) 5/2/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Report Child Abuse

Sometimes we do not see what is right before our eyes. Maybe it is because what we need to see is so horrible that it is easier to ignore it. Perhaps, what is before us does not fit into our view of the world. Of course, if we are not aware of what it is that we see, the images could be unrecognizable before our eyes.

I remember a scene in the movie, What The Bleep, when there was a person standing on the shore of the ocean looking outward. At first, she could not see anything in the distance. Then, she could not understand that which she saw. It was not until the Native American came along and touched her awareness that she then recognized and became conscious of the ships in the ocean. They had been there the entire time but until she became consciously aware of them, they were unknown dots on the horizon.

Recently, a friend of mine had a child who was approached by a man they knew. He made a statement that could sound innocent if you weren't paying attention. But if you allowed yourself a moment to think about it and become consciously aware, it would creep anyone out. Then, if you started adding in all the other unusual behavior that you had seen by this person, a picture would form. It would clearly show that this situation was not normal and the authorities needed to be contacted.

While this friend recognized these things as being unusual, they confronted the individual directly. Of course, he had an explanation that sounded almost plausible. Yet, it had many holes in it and just did not fully add up. The child was then instructed to stay clear of this house and as far as I know, the authorities were not contacted.

Yes, I do realize that nothing actually happened and the conversation between the man and the child could be analyzed in various ways. However, there were so many red flags that were showing up. Child molesters are crafty, cunning and sneaky. They know how to get children to do things that children would not otherwise do. Maybe the person will not pursue this child any further, but these type of people are skilled at finding their prey. They should never be underestimated and forgotten under any circumstances.

In addition, if my hunch is correct, then there is a chance that other children may be in danger. Of course, no one knows for sure because the authorities have not been contacted. Other children may be experiencing horrendous acts just because everyone is staying silent. We may not want to rock the boat and interfere with the lives of people we know. We may fear them or what could happen, so we remain silent.

If children are being harmed and we stay silent, than we are as much of the problem as the perps who get away with these things. This may sound harsh, but if we don't stand up for the children and expose these perps to the light of day, who will do this? Child abuse molesters know that silence is their greatest weapon outside of the shame that they inflict on their victims.

When I was a child, I went through horrendous abuse. While there is a chance that we hid these secrets deep within our family, I can't help but think that someone saw it and questioned it. Someone out there saw the red flags and did nothing. For whatever reason, everyone that knew us, stayed silent. Oh, how I wished someone would have stood up for me because there was no way I could stand up for myself. I was a small child that was overpowered by those that molested me. I feared for my life and was powerless against my father and older brother.

If you see something taking place or you see the red flags, do not sit silently. Confronting the potential perp is a good step but it may not be enough. Contact your local authorities. Who knows, there may be other similar things being reported and your piece of the story might just form the picture required to take action and save other children.

To sit back and do nothing is inexcusable. You have to follow your intuition that has noticed those red flags. To do anything less, is closing your eyes to your own awareness and consciousness. Remember child molesters know how to prey upon children. Please do not let these perps manipulate your thinking and throw you off the trail of evidence. Our children deserve our protection. They deserve to live life in freedom, not in silence and shame.


*Read other articles on Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Ignore The Pain

How far am I willing to go to ignore pain?

One of the things I have been thinking about lately through the tooth pain, is just how much I ignored it. I really didn't think I was ignoring the pain, but as I look back, I realize that I was. It took such an intense pain that would not give up, to push me to actually do something about it. Imagine the depths I went to just to avoid the inevitable of going to the dentist.

At first, I was having a painful wrist, where it was hard to do anything with my right hand. I was trying to explain it in my mind as carpal tunnel or spending too much time using the mouse on my computer. Little did I realize at the time, my body was compensating for me during my sleep time at night. It was helping me to avoid laying on the side of my face that hurt by using my hand to shield me from the pain. I was completely oblivious that this was going on. Yet, I felt the wrist pain.

Then there was the sore throat and the barely felt tooth pain, which I just passed off to heat stress and allergies from yard work. However, the tooth pain and pressure in my jaw persisted days after these stresses. Yet, I did not allow myself to connect with the pain. I was oblivious to it.

Even the days leading up to the start of the horrible tooth pain, I tried to ignore the nuisance of it. I remember using ice packs on my mouth to help relieve the pain. This was all done in silence and away from the view of house guests we had staying with us.

For I could not let anyone know the truth about how bad the pain was. If I did, then everyone would have seen the shame that I harbored deep within me, I reasoned. I didn't want anyone to see that. The shame I felt from being triggered to things in my past was nothing I wanted anyone to know about. I suffered in silence, hoping that all of this would just go away.

The thing is, the pain got so intense that I had to push through the fears and shame to make an appointment. I was so scared to call the dentist office that I sat with the intense pain for many days. For in my mind, it was not about the tooth that needed attention. It was about the shame that it connects to that my mind so badly wanted to hide from. While that may sound "strange", it is at the root of what is behind my avoidance of the dentist.

Just image though, what my mind and body was willing to do to avoid the pain and not deal with it. It did everything it could to pretend the pain was not there. My body completely disconnected from the pain. It found ways to compensate and shift the pain to other areas, but it was still there. It tried to cover it up and act as if it did not exist.

We all do this in our lives to on degree or another. It may be back pain, neck pain, illness, disease, colds and flu, headaches, financial stress or just about any other situation we face in life. If this sounds too far fetched, read any one of Dr John Sarno's books and see what the body connects to and how far it is willing to go. Times of pain, discomfort and frustration in our lives, is the way in which our body, mind and spirit try to get our attention.

It is the wise that listen to these messages from the body and not ignore them. For they show up for a reason. They help us grow, heal, move forward and evolve our lives. If we medicate them or compensate for them, we may alleviate the pain and discomfort temporarily, but it is still there. Not until we go in and deal with these things, will we get to the true source of the pain.

It will be like a tiger waiting in the brush, ready to pounce upon its prey at an unexpected moment. The slightest trigger or unrelated event may begin a cascade of situations that once again bring us front and center with our pain. May we then have the courage to embrace and allow it, instead of compensating and running from it. For when we embrace courage, we truly give ourselves the moment to change our lives forever.

*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Abuse In Religion

Interesting report by Anderson Cooper about Scientology (See video below). While we in no way can tell who is telling the truth and who is lying, religious institutions try to silence the messengers. They are very effective at this. Unfortunately, too many followers of religions willingly go along with this which is very sad.

Just like in the Catholic church where sex abuse by the hands of these priests and cover ups by the Pope is coming to light, many church denominations have members who harm children and others. The Catholic church is leading the pack right now in this but it isn't just them.

Our family was part of the fundamentalist sect of Baptist Churches (GARBC - General Association of Regular Baptist Churches) while growing up. This sect was so strict that one could not go to a high school dance, or to a restaurant that served alcohol or even sit closer than 6 inches to someone of the opposite sex. They were always preaching that if you did anything that would cause someone else to stumble, you were responsible for what that person did. They would not even allow boys and girls to swim together and when you went swimming, you almost had to wear a three piece suit. You had to wear swim wear that was not revealing along with a tshirt and until you got into the water, you had to wrap your legs with a towell. This is just some of the things that they practiced and preached. I could go on for a long time about this sect of Churches. The environment in this Church fostered the ability for things to happen to me. To much was done in the name of God's Love that has haunted me for years.

I still remember my father coming back home from a Lowell Lundstrom seminar where he supposedly asked if masturbation was wrong or right. This of course is what he told me that he asked at a marriage seminar put on by the Lundstroms. When he got back home, he of course enjoyed speaking about it with me as a very young boy. While it was disguised as "educational", it was nothing of the sort because it was a way for my father to get his jollies. I don't blame Lowell Lundstrom of course but my father used religious methods and places to further his sick practices. While I'm sure this doesn't sound nice to hear, it is part of what I experienced.

So when I see these places like the Catholic Church or Scientology or others stand up and act as if they are being victimized by the accusers, I really want to go and see if they have any functioning brain cells. How many child molesters and abusers do you know have actually owned up to what they did? Probably the number is very low. Yet, these child molesters and abusers twist the facts and turn the accusations back on the accusers. That is what they are good at. That is how they control and manipulate their victims. This is normal operating mode for these people. In fact, I would be surprised if they did anything different.

However, just because the perps try to distort the facts and twist things around, it doesn't mean that they are correct. It is very difficult to come out as a victim on any of these things and often takes years of work to get to the point where someone is able to do that. Victims don't easily speak out because of the shame, guilt and because they were taught to stay silent. That is how these religious organizations get away with all they do.

It is a poison that is feeding on our society and our world. The body and the mind of the child was not meant to experience or endure these things. If we don't work to stop these things and expose all that is going on, than we are just as responsible for what happened. To stay silent and not protect others is not human. If we don't wake up in our world and our society before it is to late, than we will have brought a generation of darkness upon the earth.

This report by Anderson Cooper is very good and valid. I'm glad he is doing it and I applaud his courage in shining the light of truth on organizations that are excellent at silencing people. In case the video does not show, here is the link to Anderson Cooper's report on Scientology.

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