But Come Here Fear

These days, my heart goes out to every human.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in the fears that are a part of everything we do.  It is so insidious that we don't even see it.

That's the tricky part about fear.  It blinds you to its existence while taking over everything you think, do, say, and how you act.  Most of the time you're not aware of it, even if you know it exists.

Fear is a good thing when being chased by a tiger in the jungle.  Fear is a good thing at night when you're being stalked.  Fear of failing can be good as well as many other fears.  However, fear is meant as a temporary moment, not a life long relationship.

Unfortunately, far too many in our world have experienced a not so safe childhood.  We've either gone through trauma and abuse, witnessed domestic violence in our homes, suffered at the hands of a bully, or gone through other things.  They all produce fear that resides within us and alters who we truly are.

Maybe it's a parent that does not instill a sense of safety in you as a child.  Maybe you're a witness to horrific acts of violence or bombs dropping.  Maybe you saw or were in a car accident as a child and so your sense of safety was taken away.

There are many experiences in life that leave us feeling unsafe.  In these current days we are in, fear is getting pushed to the limit, whether it is on the news we consume or in social media or just in the water-cooler talk among friends.  It is everywhere.

Even if you do like we do and turn the news off and try to mute all the political stuff of the day, you can still feel fear.  It is everywhere.  It permeates every bit and piece of our society these days and that is so sad.  My heart breaks when I see it.

These days, you can barely say anything or write anything that doesn't invoke fear's response into a statement that is twisted from your intent.  Fear keeps us blind to this practice.  Fear does not allow us to see things in clarity and with the awareness and consciousness we think we have.

I don't think numbing and disconnecting completely from the fears that are alive is necessarily the right course of action.  However, I believe that if you're watching the news and engaged in the fear rhetoric of the day, you're harming yourself and the world.

You have to make the choices for yourself about what you let into your life and what you feast on in a day.  You have to be willing to open your eyes as far open as you can, so you can see what fear has done to you.  It is not easy to do this.  It goes against every fiber and ounce of energy fear can muster up, but in order to reclaim your life, you have to take back the power from fear.

I know from experience that fear waits in the tall grass to pounce upon you in every moment.  It takes strength and courage to stand up to fear.

In the words of Joy Harjo from her "Fear Poem" come these are two lines that I just love.

Oh you have choked me, but I gave you the leash.
But come here, fear. I am alive and you are so afraid of dying. - Joy Harjo 

May we stop allowing fear to choke us, by not giving it the leash so easily.  May we remember to tell fear that we are alive and it is so afraid of dying. 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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The Fear Poem

This is one of my favorite poems on FEAR, and it has helped me heal my life in many ways.  I am sharing the CD version with you in the hope that it will have as great an impact on your life as it has on mine.

Here is Joy Harjo performing her "Fear Poem"

Fear is a part of our human existence, but it is how we interact with that fear that either makes it debilitating or empowering.  It is not a simple process and should not be used as chastisement because you're still learning to see fear for what it is.  It is a lifelong process of awareness and consciousness, not something to hit ourselves over the head with in our healing.

All too often we act as if we should not have fear, but the fear is there for a reason.  If we allow it to show us what that reason is, we will gain so much in our life and in our healing.

For more, take a look at another blog post I wrote called "Don't Run From Your Fears".

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Loved By Your Enemy

I love the works of Joy Harjo, whether it is just poems or the poems put to music. She has written some very powerful works that if you listen to them, they make you go inside and really think. Every time I listen to her stuff, I always get something different from it.

Joy Harjo is famous to many for her poem titled, "Fear Poem". She also has a CD called "Letter From The End Of The Twentieth Century" that I love to listen to. My other favorite poem is "She Had Some Horses".

On the CD, there is a song "Letter From The End Of The Twentieth Century" that is also the same title as the CD. It is a song that I think is appropriate for today in my mind because of the events that have just unfolded.

In the song she talks about riding in a taxi in Chicago, with the driver Rammi. The story continues to unfold about Rammi's friend, that one morning someone asked him for money as he was filling up his car with gas. He told the person, that he was sorry but he did not have anything he could give him. As the friend turned his back to finish filling his gas tank up, a gunshot wound killed his friend.

A family member of his murdered friend decided to track the killer down. He wanted to get revenge and take the life of the killer but his mother's grief moves his heart. In the words of his mother, "there is always a choice, even after death."

As his heart was warmed by his mother's words, the story says that he gives the killer his favorite name and calls him his brother. The killer is no longer shamed but filled with remorse and cries the cries of a thousand years. The killer learns to love himself as he never could because his enemies love him.

It is a powerful story and poem that Joy Harjo puts to music but it really reminds me that no matter what choices we make, we can impact others in a positive way or we can continue to carry with us, what happened in a distant time. Our anger is often justified, but what we do with that anger is what makes us human.

You really need to check out the song because it is much more powerful to hear than what I can share in these words. It truly brings this entire story and thought alive if you listen to it.


Further Information
1) Fear Of The Dentist, Part 3
2) Letter From The End Of The Twentieth Century on iTunes



Blog Post & Images (c) 5/2/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Fear Of The Dentist, Part 3

**Note: For full details please read PART 1 and PART 2 **

Today I made it.

Today I did it.

Without any xanax, I managed to get myself into the dentist office and into the chair and allow them to take x-rays and examine me.

Sure, I know there are many people who think, hey I can do that. What’s the big deal? The big deal is that I suffer from an intense fear of going to the dentist. That previous statement was a big understatement. For the fear, is much worse than I can even describe here. When the dentist asked me what my fear of coming in there was, I replied without hesitation and told him it begins when I try to walk in the door and make an appointment. The procedures are just more layers of anxiety that I have to deal with.

However, today I didn’t pass out and I didn’t hide. I faced myself and my fears and went in there. I asked for what I needed and explained what the very difficult moments were for me. And I breathed and I breathed and tried to stay focused even through the tears flowing from my eyes. Fortunately, everyone was very supportive and compassionate but by the time I was ready to leave, it felt like I was in a furnace reaching well over 1000 degrees. It was time to exit stage left.

I wish it was a simple fear that I could just easily let go of. However, to walk in to the dentist office and surrender to the will of what someone needs to do to you is frightening beyond belief for me. I’m very sensitive anyway, so a little bit of discomfort or pain is enough to push me over the top. You throw on top of that, someone putting objects or their fingers in my mouth and now you’ve triggered memories that have haunted me since I can barely remember.
Anytime something is put in my mouth, it feels as if someone is “STUFFING” something in there and forcing it in which I don’t want. If you suffered childhood sexual abuse, you will most likely understand what I’m referring to. If you haven’t suffered through this, use your imagination a little and you will quickly see why I’m so afraid of these things. When I first got my partial plate several years ago, it was all I could do to put it in my mouth and keep it in there without almost gagging and choking to death. Of course, I’m sure there is more to this story but when you’re so young and when your memory doesn’t process things well, all you’re left with is the horrors you are forced to face.

Several years ago, when I finally faced the courage to do major reconstructive work on my teeth, I faced insurmountable fears of just walking into the dentist office. One of the things that I did to help me get there, even with the use of xanax, was playing some of my favorite songs. The song that helped me the most was “I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty. In it, the words state, “you can stand me up at the gates of hell but I won’t back down”. In my mind, that sums it up pretty good.

While the remaining procedure is still yet to be completed, I’m glad that I made it through as much as I did today. It was a difficult day and I’m feeling very exhausted. However, I’m quite proud of myself for what I accomplished today. And I can only close this part of my process with the thoughts of the “Fear Poem” by Joy Harjo, an inspirational piece of poetry to put fear in perspective.

And just writing this 1 page piece, I feel that furnace of a thousand degrees. The room has become very warm. Hello Anxiety - so we meet again today.



*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog