The Forgotten Reason in “13 Reasons Why”

(by Jody, Mental Health Matters)

I certainly am not one to jump on the bandwagon. I generally let it pass by watching the fickle people jumping on and off trying to chase and follow the latest trend, so it is almost to my surprise that I find myself writing about the latest craze of controversy, which happens to be the Netflix series called “13 Reasons Why?”

I am quite sure that you have either watched it or at the very least heard of it, as it has stirred up discussions from the water cooler to the media. I will admit that curiosity got the best of me and I binge watched the entire series just to see what had stirred up such fuss and dialogue.

There are hundreds of blogs and articles with varying opinions both praising and criticizing the show for its approach on the taboo topic of teen suicide and underlying subjects of rape and bullying. Being both passively and actively suicidal my entire life, and having lost people by suicide, has given me the ability to empathize with both the supporters and the critics.

To an extent, as a teenager, I was Hannah Baker as and I am sure thousands of others identify with her depth of pain in one way or another. I have had suicide attempts as a child, a teen and an adult, and the thought process with all of them was different due to what I could fully understand at each age.

As a child, it was impossible for me to comprehend the repercussions of “if you touch Grandma’s pills you will get sick and could die.” I had been to a funeral by age eight and although I had no idea of the permanence of the situation, I did know that dead meant no longer here, and as all the adults at the funeral had said, “at least she’s not suffering anymore”. If you put those two thought processes together at such a young age, you can get the basics of how I came about to my first suicide attempt.

As an adult, the rationale behind my attempt was a lot more clear and concise. I also fully understood the long term consequences of my decision and the affect it would have on certain people. It was not an irrational, spur of the moment thing that I would regret but a precise plan which would achieve the final goal of ending my suffering.

Being a teenager is a completely different ball game all together. With hormones bouncing around like a rubber ball and emotions running rampant, the thought process could vary from minute to minute. I noticed a lot of people commenting on how it was wrong of Hannah to lay the blame for her suicide completely on other people, and although I don’t agree that was the intent, I can see that view as well. I can also tell you that as a suicidal teenager, you do, in part lay the blame on other people, because that is generally what they do at that age anyway. In my eyes at the time, I blamed my molesters, my parents and a few other people that I felt should have somehow known and helped. Maybe it was not right to lay the blame with those who I felt caused my pain and suffering, but a teenage mind is far from fully developed, and often irrational, and right or wrong, that is how I saw things, as did Hannah.

I agree that this show could potentially be triggering for some people, and I am glad that more warnings have been added before each episode. I also know that curiosity often gets the best of human nature and regardless of the fact that we know it may trigger us, we still sat down and watched it. I know for me personally, sometimes it is almost a way of self-testing your strength, or the power you have or don’t have over your triggers. I knew ahead of time certain scenes would get under my skin but I pushed through, testing myself episode after episode, regardless of any trauma it may or may not leave on me. I don’t know if I will ever know if it was my curiosity or the self-destructive part of my illness that was the ultimate driving factor to me watching the show.

There is much controversy over the graphic showing of Hanna’s death and although I admit I did not expect it, it’s closer to reality than some glorified, peaceful death. There is no beauty in suicide. It is not clean and painless. We do not just drift off into sleep and quietly pass away. There is no possible way to glorify the depth of pain that one feels in order to take one’s own life, be it pre-planned or an irrational moment.

Here in Canada, the scene caused enough ruckuses that the school boards felt it necessary to send home warning letters to parents regarding the potentially triggering topics of the show, and actually included information on prevention and communication as well as hotline numbers. There is discussion about how the rape scene and cyber bullying is not properly addressed. There is conversation over the educational systems lack of support, and even questions about whether the tapes and suicide were a cry for attention.

People are enthralled in the discussion via one aspect or another, regardless of the criticism or praise, and that is the one thing that everyone seems to be forgetting. Regardless of how you feel about the show, you are now discussing and reading about topics which you may never have before. People complain that it shouldn’t take a TV series to get subjects like suicide, rape and bullying to the surface, but that is the world we live in. A musical artist dresses one way, and we have a generation of kids with pants beneath their asses. Lady Gaga says she has PTSD, and all of a sudden it is front page news. So, this show did the one thing that is perhaps the most important… it not only started the conversation, but brought it to a whole new level.


- Jody (Jody's Blog)

Read all of Jody's Columnist Posts

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Jody

Guest Blogger
Writer
Survivor, Warrior, Conqueror

Visit Jody's website at

Jodyb2016 Wordpress

  

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Jody

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Healing VS Symptom Relief

In this video, Jim Fazio of Integrative Bodywork sits down with Dr. Paul Canali of Evolutionary Healing Institute to discuss the topic of actual healing versus symptom relief.  All too often we focus on symptoms rather than true and complete healing.

Dr Canali understands that as you go through healing, you begin to learn how to interact with the pain and suffering you are experiencing.  It is a whole new body knowledge that takes us beyond just treating symptoms and finding temporary relief from symptoms.

As Dr. Canali notes, you hear people say that if it wasn't for what they had been through, they would have never become who they are at this moment.  When you're in the middle of the turmoil, despair, and agony, you just want it to go away, but as you heal deeper, you find that there is more to your suffering than you realized.  It is a deeper progression of healing.

To see the interview, watch the VIDEO or click the video image above.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Being Happy Isn't All It Is Cracked Up To Be

There it is again.  I see it.  We all see it.  Now what in the heck is this person talking about.

Well, girls and boys - its about being happy.  Actually that isn't it is cracked up to be.  We might think it is, but we need to think again.

This happy business needs to have a reality check.  Hey, its okay if being happy is a good thing.  There is nothing wrong with that.  It is just that by only being happy, we're missing out on what true happiness really is.

Let's start off by telling a story to illustrate my point.

You see, in a village far, far, away, there was this little boy that was fighting monsters and evil people every day.  They would come at him constantly and sometimes more than one monster would attack at a time.  He tried to smile through it.  He tried to hide the pain.  He tried to show everyone how strong he was.  They didn't get to see any of what happened to him, they only saw him happy and smiling and acting like the world was okay.

You see, this little boy seemed so happy to everyone.  He smiled all the time.  No one saw anything but a happy little boy.  The only thing is that it was all an illusion.  It was meant to keep people away.  It was meant to hide the enormous pain he felt.  It was meant to evade others so they didn't know the true shame that he experienced.

The worst part is though, being happy all the time to everyone almost killed the little boy.  If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm the little boy.  In 1991, going through a Conversion Disorder, I almost lost my life for good.  Yet, no one saw the pain I buried deep inside so far removed from the happy smiles I gave to everyone.

It is easy to promote the "be happy all the time" agenda through memes and nice little quotes on social media, but in all reality, it isn't all its cracked up to be.  In fact, you can do more harm than good by convincing people that are hurting to just go crawl in their hole and hide.  Sure, that may not be your intent, but it does become the reality.

We really need to learn to be real.  If you're happy - that's great!  If you think you can be happy 100% of the time, then you're missing what happiness is because without sadness - happiness becomes an illusion. There is no happy without sadness.

No, I'm not saying - walk around depressed and in sorrow or pain.  No, I'm not saying you can't try to be happy even when you don't feel that way.  If that's what you're reading, then you're missing the point or I'm failing to explain my thought.

Being happy recognizes the pain and sadness.  It knows the moments when happiness is lost in the woods.  It gives balance between all emotions because without feeling all emotions, you're only one sided.  We need the good with the bad.  We need to feel and experience the range of all there is, not just one emotion.  Otherwise, it is not healthy lifestyle!

There are many people suffering in pain and when they are forced to believe that their pain and hurts and experiences don't matter, it only drives that crap deeper inside.  When you drive it deep down inside,  you're just setting yourself up for a catastrophic healthy failure.

Don't force someone in pain to live in darkness and despair.  Show them your smile, but show them your authentic side where you have the bruises and scars.  All happy all the time is a recipe for disaster and harm.  Be real - be human - be conscious and aware.  Don't disconnect and live in a fantasy world because reality is just too much to deal with.  It will lead you down a very dark path.

We need authentic people in this world.  We need those that can share from a compassionate heart, not one that acknowledges a one-sided view of emotions.  People are hurting and in fact you might be hurting too if all you think is that being happy is the only thing to be.

Take it from someone who almost breathed their last breath trying to be happy all the time!  It doesn't work!

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Does The Pain Really End?

This is something I wrote as an answer to a question posed to me on Twitter.  For me, the pain and suffering in life has definitely changed.  I don't feel the same pain that I did years ago and now, it only takes up a part of my life, not all of it.  I would be dishonest if I said it was not there, but its not controlling my life.

Yes, I have my moments where things connect and kind of zap me momentarily, but my days are filled with more ease, contentment, joy, and love, rather than struggling through intense pain and suffering. At one time, I cursed the pain but I can now see it as something which gives me a different viewpoint and a different side of life. 

I can now see pain as a way to open up my eyes and embrace things that I didn't realize were there.  I can see it as an opportunity.  At one time, I would have popped someone for suggesting there was anything good about pain.

The pain brought me down....

For a long time, the pain really brought me down. It affected me physically and mentally and in just about everything I did. I never thought I would get beyond it or past it. I never thought there was enough hope to see things differently. I thought I was sentenced to a lifetime of pain and suffering and despair.

The interesting thing is that as I continued to move through the pain, the darkness around me lifted and I began to see my journey in a different way. There was more light to see with and the more I was able to view it, the more I could observe the things I could not see.

It's not like waving a magic wand...

I'm not going to say, it's like waving a magic wand. That is too simplistic and the pain and suffering that I went through was unbearable and almost to difficult to endure. Most people don't live through some of the pains I've experienced, but we all have our own pain to deal with in our life.

It is healthy to honor that pain and not minimize it or shun it or run from it. Yes, that takes a great deal of courage and strength at times, but that's where the gigantic moments of healing take place.

If you would have told me years ago that I would have made it to this point in how I view the pain and suffering, I would have laughed and scoffed. It was not something I could dream of or imagine, but as I continued on my healing journey, the pain was slowly replaced with life, joy, hope and possibility.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Your Presence Makes A Difference

Have you ever had one of those moments where you felt like you could not be there for someone in the way they needed.  You know the point at which you don't think you have anything to give, or maybe enough to give to them to help make a difference.  Maybe the words could not form, or you just felt helpless as you watched someone suffer in pain.

Often when I get in these moments, I am reminded that my presence with the person can mean the world to them.  They aren't necessarily looking for you to solve all of their problems.  Instead, they are looking for someone to let them know that they are not walking their path alone.  All too often when we are going through the fiery moments of our life's journey, it feels like we are all alone.  It is then that we just need the presence of a hand to help give us balance as we negotiate the treacherous pathway.

Sometimes a person is suffering in a way that we cannot fully imagine or comprehend.  It is not up to us to take that person's suffering away, but we can be there with them with unconditional love, understanding and without judgement.  Suffering is difficult for us to be there for others, but when a person suffers it is often their process in discovering more that life has to offer.  It becomes their teachable moment and if we think we should take away their suffering, we are doing them a disservice.  Instead, let us be there as a support mechanism of balance to them as they attempt to learn what this time of suffering and pain is about in their life.

Enjoy The Resistance In Life

Enjoy The Resistance
In Life

At one time, I thought I was doomed forever and that life would always suck.  I figured that I was sentenced to a life of despair.  Yes, I knew I was resisting so much in life, but because of my home grown fears, I knew no other way to deal with all of it.  It had become my best friend in life - you know the beloved and hated twin.

All too often though, I see other healers want to rid people of their resistance (or pain and suffering) to situations in life and almost look at resistance being a negative entity.  While noble in their efforts, I think most healers and helpful people are missing the mark.  In fact, I think if anything happens, the healer should help encourage the person to enjoy the resistance in life that they experience.

You might think I'm totally nuts here, but think about this for a moment and then I'll follow up with an example from my own life.  The resistance is there for a reason and it is there to most likely help learn some truth for our life or discover something we need to see.  It may also be there for us to fully understand some condition that others are going through so that we can help them climb out of the dark pit they are currently residing in.  Most often, we do not know what is behind the resistance and so if we treat it as something we need to take away, we may be doing that person a disservice.

Crises Wake Us Up

Crises Wake Us Up
Mountains Of NC

If you would have told me at one time, that going through a crises would be something to wake me up, I probably would have knocked you to the ground.  My life, like many others, has had some serious things to overcome.  None of these events have been the easiest to deal with or experience.

Yet, I am beginning to learn that instead of fearing and hating every part of what has happened to me, if I begin to look at these moments without darkened lenses, I see a much different picture.  They truly are there for me to help me grow and find my way on my own path.  Even as I write these words, I still fully know how difficult it is to comprehend and own this awareness.

Imagine for a moment if you are walking along a mountain path.  If the path was straight and level for a distance, you might get so caught up in the view, that you forget to watch out for your path and where you are walking.  However, if there was a rock in your path that you stepped on, your leg and foot might twist a little.  As your leg begins to twist, your eyes go from the scenery back down to the path in front of you so you can find your footing.  Consider that the rock is the crisis in life and that by stepping on the rock, you are once again focused on your path ahead.  Now, while you are immersed in the beauty of the mountain scenery, you have your eyes focused on the path ahead.  The rocks help keep you from falling off the mountain.

Why Are We Afraid Of Suffering?

Afraid Of Suffering

So many humans are afraid of suffering in our lives. To be honest, I was very afraid of suffering at one time and thought it was the worst thing that could happen to a person. Before you think I'm some pie-in-the-sky type of thinker, let me assure you that my life has been met with much adversity. All you have to do is read my book and you'll see quickly to what I am referring.

Often though, people just want us to think about thoughts of being happy or love and forget all the suffering we are going through. Many urge us to quit crying, move on from the pain and the struggles in life. While these people purport to desire that others find their true calling or purpose, I actually believe, pushing someone to "quit suffering" is doing more of a harm than a disservice.

Suffering To Greater Consciousness

Suffering Pic (Or Standing
Under A Rock)

I'm always amazed at how people view the suffering of other people.  It is almost like they truly feel sorry for them as if it is the worst event ever happened.  In many religions and cultures, suffering is something that shows you are moving toward a greater consciousness, not enduring something that was not meant to be.

Because people have a difficult time responding to moments of suffering, initially I often am picky who I share the details with.  Their response is more of a pity than understanding or curiosity.  I never share these things with anyone to solicit pity from them.  The reason I share is to hopefully help people identify that others out there are going through experiences that match their life and that there is hope.  The other reason is I hope that my life becomes a teacher of what is possible, rather than what is in the current moment.

Freedom From Pain

It is so easy it seems to resist things in life. While resistance sounds difficult, it is by far something we do frequently as humans. This may be through our thoughts, our bodies and even in our spiritual growth and overall learning in our lives. We do this without notice and we do this without giving it much thought.

When we resist, we can see evidence of it in the body. Many people would describe the resistance as tight, tense or painful areas in the body. It may show up through physical illness, unexplained medical conditions or common things like headaches, flu, colds. It may be one of the many symptoms drug companies use to increase their profits. Resistance as I found out in my own personal life may even be itching and rashes. We all know to some degree the things where we hold resistance in our own bodies. Sometimes we are more aware and conscious of these things. At other times, we are disconnected from these parts of our life.

At one time, I would get migraine headaches, stomach problems such as a nervous stomach, and tense muscles. These things would attack me as if there was no tomorrow. During these times, I would visit the doctor looking for help to get me out of pain. They would prescribe Imitrex for the headaches, Tagamet for the nervous stomach or give me muscle relaxers, all in an attempt to help heal my pains. At least at the time, I thought this was the only way a person could take care of themselves. I thought this was what health care was all about and staying healthy.

I went through some very difficult moments in life suffering from these conditions. Each time they would occur, I would question myself, as to why they were showing up. It took me many years to begin realizing and learning that the true source of my pain was resistance. Of course, the resistance was often cloaked in fear to throw me off the trail and confuse me. Fear, as I have learned, is much more powerful than we often allow ourselves to understand.

Once I began to learn that much of the pain I experienced in life was resistance, my life began to change. These things that I suffered from became messages that my body was giving me. They were helping me to change, evolve and grow as a human. They were helping me to consciously grow in my own awareness. It wasn't just about the pain that I was encountering at that moment in my life. Without the pain, my knowledge of so much in life would have been limited. My growth and evolution would have been limited.

If you're overwhelmed in life, all you really want is for someone to give you answers and take you out of pain. You want the magic solution in life that will do this. In those moments of pain and suffering, not much else matters. There is a health care industry in existence today that works to take us away from the pain. In fact, there are many new age, alternative therapies out there that attempt to do this as well.

Reaching for the pill bottles or hanging by every word a doctor or new age guru tells you, most likely will do nothing for you in the long term. Yes, it may make you temporarily feel good, but it is a short term fix that is nothing more than an illusion. It will rob you blind while leaving you smiling that something something was actually done.

The suffering and pain we experience are there for a reason. They are messages given to us by our bodies to help us. Masking them, avoiding them or hoping they will go away is a false prophet selling false illusions of magic and snake oil.

Resistance is not allowing these messages into our awareness and consciousness. Whatever they may be, there is some reason they are showing up. There is some fear that is present in our minds. Only we know as individuals what our bodies and minds are trying to tell us. While resistance may be one way we deal with things in our life, it will not solve our problems. It will not make our pain go away.

We must go into the pain if we wish to let go. The answers we need are within us. While others may help support and guide our way to discovery, it is up to us to stop resisting. It is up to us to consciously choose to allow these pains to exist. We are the explorers of our own body and we are the ones that will discover our own truths.

For when we allow our pain and suffering, it is at that point we are reclaiming our power. We are overcoming the fear that is present and we are truly healing ourselves. By going into these pains, we are evolving in conscious awareness connecting to our minds and bodies. It is there that we will find freedom from our pain and our suffering. It is all up to us and how much we allow this to happen. The power to do this resides within ourselves and if we tap into it, the limits of what we can do for our lives is beyond any limits known to man.


(Above Picture taken of Space Shuttle Launch - (c) 08/08/07)


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Renzo, The Teacher

Note:

This is from a guest writer, Quayny Porter Brown. She is a good friend of mine who works with Dr. Paul Canali at Evolutionary Healing Institute. (read the following blog entry if you have not already read it - A Life Changing Moment)

She sent me this the other day about the loss of their dog, Renzo whom I've had the pleasure of meeting a few times. What she wrote really said a lot to me and I think it really fits the nature and purpose of this blog. So I'm sharing what she wrote with her permission and hope that it impacts you as much as it did me. Thank you Quayny!

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(c) Quayny Porter Brown (1/9/09)


Suffering is not feeling pain or feeling despair or feeling sadness. It is not feeling it. It is resisting it. This is linked to fear of course. The fear to open oneself up to what we perceive is suffering. But it is not suffering to feel the pain of separation, and it is not suffering to mourn death or loss or a break up or a misunderstanding or lack of connection. It is not suffering, although we call it that. There is a difference in the type of suffering that is resisted and the type that is accepted. The type that is resisted requires judgment, repression, guilt, fear, among other qualities. If you are already suffering with a loss why expend the extra energy to resist the feeling, internalize it, destroy oneself with it, limit ones perception by denial. When you realize this there is less fear. There is now less fear because you have allowed yourself to go in and accept and feel whatever is there. Sadness then is sweet and wrenching but does not develop into despair. There is trust and there is faith in the process of living and experiencing what it offers. There is then a direct experience of not dying or collapsing from allowing yourself to feel what is there. Suffering as we come then to understand it is an opportunity for transformation. This is meant to be there. This is meant to tell me something. It is not that I am meant to feel pain necessarily, but it is absolutely true that I am meant to feel.

All week my chest has felt tingling and buzzing. Through the grieving and even before it I recognized that Renzo was teaching me. I have some regret that he had to die to do it, or, rather, that I did not realize his gift to me until he was on his way to die. I have been trying to be present all the time. My feet feel planted on the ground and no one is scaring me. If I fall into my old pattern of looking for approval I immediately apply my new and previously unrealized knowledge that there is nothing to fear so I do not need approval. Why is that. I guess because I am not afraid of not having the approval anymore, at least during these days of clarity.

I used to come home and Renzo was forever on top of me trying to get my attention. I used to brush him off and feel annoyed that he seemed to me to be so dependent on me. I didn’t want that. But no matter what I did or didn’t do, he was always there the next time with a happy loving attitude toward me as if each time I greeted him with the same love and unconditional acceptance. I see now why I rejected his loving advances to me. Why it seemed like a burden. I was afraid of his love, afraid to receive it, afraid to be responsible for it-of course that was an illusion because he was just as happy no matter what I did. Even with the fire trucks going by he would sing. If I did not sing he would come over and find me and look at me as he sang. He’d throw his head back and point his nose to the sky as he sang and sang. He’d stare at me until I did the same. He was trying to reach me, always holding a space for me to join him if I found it in me.

Before he died he was in the hospital and his hind legs were paralyzed. This is how he suddenly woke up early in the morning on Tuesday last week. He spent one night in the hospital and although he was not in pain, he was lying on the floor of the operating area and was not so happy there. The Doctor told me that he watched everyone though and got many pats. He was such a gentle creature, loving and giving. I see now that he was exercising my heart, perhaps not consciously on his part. But his nature, instinctual nature, finally broke through to me during his last two days.

I spent two hours with him the day he had to be put to sleep. It was in the morning and so I got time by myself with him. We just existed together. Him on the table on a stretcher unable to move much, and me standing by him or sitting and talking or crying, or patting or hugging him. I told him all that I had learned. Luckily I realized these things soon enough to say thank you to him for all the lessons he has taught to me. I asked him if he wanted to come back a race horse or a bird or a bumble bee. He didn’t do much but just rest his head on me. It seemed like he’d just like to be a dog. I fought with feelings of injustice at his short life and his sudden decline. And mostly my feelings of guilt about the things I didn’t do during his life. Somehow I just thought there would be more time. There was no more time. But there was time to just be with him and feel it all for as long as I wanted-the hospital did not rush me. I offered him some water with Rescue Remedy. He showed very little interest in it. I rubbed it on his paws. You might say I suffered with him, but you also might say I just grew with him as we went through this unexpected situation together. Together. That was the key, and the only key.

I left after two hours to go pick up the children at school. I asked them if they wanted to go again to visit (we had all gone the night before), and they said No. The night before we all had to sit on the floor of the operating room with the machines beeping and a dog on the table having surgery. It was a hard environment, but we all got Renzo’s head on our laps and his earnest stare into our eyes.

Later that night I met Wyatt at the hospital after he had had a chance to be with Renzo alone for a while. We just sat with Renzo, again on the table on a stretcher. I turned off the fluorescent lights and the room was much more peaceful after that. But Renzo was very calm and so he slept a bit on the table. When he woke up we were just there with him and patting him and crying intermittently. It was such a hard moment knowing that he needed to be put to sleep whenever we asked the Doctor to come in. I offered him Rescue Remedy again and this time he lapped it up, wanting more and more and more. He almost consumed a whole bottle actually. After that he just got very quiet and he lost interest in the remedy. I rubbed some on his paws now and then. We just stayed with him for a long time-maybe an hour after I arrived. He was calm and didn’t raise up his head that much. I told him that it is OK to go-that we will be OK without him and he should feel free to do whatever it is he needs to do. Also to let us know if he comes back to us in another form by some kind of recognizable sign. So I told him these things, and of course we both told him how good he was and how we loved him.

When the doctor came in she was very respectful and quiet and calm. She gave him three shots through his intravenous site. Before we knew it he was gone. He just lay there as usual, but limp and his eyes were open. He was still warm and we hugged him. Then it was time for us to go. In my mind came a picture of a little dog with pointy ears dancing about outlined in neon white. He was playing and saying to me not to be sad, that he can jump again now. Who knows if my mind made it up or if it was an image from some other place. It obviously doesn’t matter. The fact was I felt a little lightness and a sense that he was free of his crippled body.

We left the hospital and we walked up the street. The experience had brought us together in a different way than had been available lately. We walked for a while and then got in our cars to go home.

That night we had dinner with the kids and as we all sat together at the table missing Renzo we had one of the nicest times we had had in months if not ever. The children opened up with their own stories of this and that, and it seemed that we all had the feeling of going through life together, as strange as it does sometimes seem.

For Those Difficult Moments

Often if we watch the news or we live in areas where destruction has occurred, many of us feel taken in by the suffering of others. We are compassionate beyond our responsibility as our hearts connect with those who have been affected. While we work hard to help those in need, we often feel like we just can not do enough.

I remember when my mom was killed in a car accident and I had people telling me, they just didn't know what to say or how to help. When in fact, the greatest gift they had given me was just letting me know they were there and that I had support. I wasn't alone! That very thought meant the world to me.

When we face those difficult times in our life, sometimes just the simple fact of knowing we're not walking this journey alone can make all the difference. It can give a boost to our hope, an injection of energy to our step and a tear to wash the pain away in our eyes.

So when you know people are facing difficult times around you, realize that there is only so much you can do. However, help in any way you can, keeping in mind that you also need to take care of yourself in the process. But know as well, that just by you being there for someone; even if it is to sit there in quiet stillness, you are giving so much more to them than you may know at that moment.

And if it feels like that still isn't enough, you can always send love and blessings from your heart to theirs. Their heart will receive it and it will be one of the purest forms of service, love and energy you could ever give to another traveler on this earth.