Giant Sequoias Thrive On Fire

Written By Don Shetterly

The other day I came across something that I thought was unique.  I didn't know it, and I found it interesting.  Giant Sequoias thrive on fire.


Forest fires actually help these giant sequoia trees.  I've never gotten to see one except in a picture online, but they look like majestic trees.

Fire does not destroy these trees, and in fact, it helps in the germination of the seeds and seedling growth.  Without fire, the seeds are not released, and these trees do not grow.  Besides, fire helps reduce the competition of other species of trees so that the sequoias can grow.

I often think about the stuff I went through as a kid, and it was not easy.  From the sexual abuse to the torture and physical, emotional and mental abuse, my life was not easy.  You could easily say I had been put through the fire.

Without the struggle in my life...

While I struggle to write this thought, I realize that without what I had been through in my life, I would not have become what I am today.  I recognize that, and I hate that statement, but deep down I know it is true for my life.

I'm not condoning abuse in any way, but I know that without it, I could not be there for others in the way that I am.  It is through that experience that I'm able to understand what others have gone through and how I can support them.

Sometimes the fires of life are more challenging than we can accept, but they are there for a reason.  That's my belief of course.  You're free to not believe that if you want.  I just know that in my own life, the fires helped open up a side of me that may not have emerged without it.

The Giant Sequoias are an example of how nature uses something that destroys most trees to regenerate and help it grow and thrive.  It seems that nature always finds a way to balance things out.

In my own life, I can see the same.  Even though it doesn't make the journey easier, at least I know there is a larger purpose for my life than what I experienced.  I strive to be all that I can be so that I can help others as they walk the treacherous journey healing from abuse.

See this source to Learn More About The Giant Sequoias

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Discover All That You Are

Go deeper into your life and discover all that you are.  If you just sit at the shore of the ocean, you'll never feel the power of the waves.  It is only when you go deeper that you discover more, past all the fears, struggles, pains, and past experiences you have encountered.


Other #MindBodyThoughts

Helping Others Helps Us

I've been facing my own demons lately and I had a therapy session to give, but I thought I would not be up for it.  The only thing that motivated me to continue with the therapy session, was that the person was counting on me and really needed it.  Sometimes helping others when life is tough is not easy.

Going into that session, I wasn't sure if I could be there for that person.  I wasn't sure if I would have enough to give to make a difference.  I saw the issues in my own life more than I saw the possibilities.

Yet, what I found after I got done with the sessions, I actually felt better about my situation.  It was almost like (in fact it was like) by going in and being there for the other person, I actually helped heal myself as well.

When I went into that healing space with them, I was part of that space that helped heal me.  It was like there was plenty for everyone and all I had to do was to step in the moment of helping others.  When I did, it helped me.

Straight Talk About Being Gay

For a long time in my life, I didn't know what "gay" meant.  I had no clue what it was all about and had absolutely no role models to depict being gay.  In fact, I didn't really know it was something that needed a label.  So here's some straight talk about being gay to help everyone in the world understand my world.

I grew up in a home with a father that thought molestation was right and approved by God, but that two guys who loved each other was wrong.  I grew up in a home with a brother that molested me for most of my early life, and yet he views me as a sinful person before God. 

I struggled for a long time that I might be gay.  I was afraid I would burn in hell and forever be the scorn of everyone in the world.  At the same time, I didn't even know what it was.  I just knew that girls were not sexual creatures to me.  They were just someone that I wanted to hang out with, but in no way wanted a sexual relationship.  Ewww...  yuck....  Sorry, but that's the way I feel.

Do Not Disturb

The past couple of weeks have been excruciatingly difficult.  It felt like I was getting smacked in the face with nonstop ocean waves.  You know, where just about everything that seems to take place is pushing you very hard in life.  I was getting so fed up with everything that had hit me and so tired of it.

By the time I got to this one particular day, I had enough and was in a cranky mood.  I didn't want to be around anyone and I didn't want to interact with anyone.  I just wanted to find my hole and crawl in it.  It was like I had a do not disturb sign on me.

From time to time, I get that way.  It is part of my nature and my sensitivity where everything gets to me.  What most people feel intensely, I feel that much more.  In fact, take the average person and what they feel intensely and then multiply that by a thousand.  You would then come close to what I experience.  I've gotten better at handling it and dealing with my sensitivity, but at times it throws me under the bus.  When that happens, just get out of my cave as I'm going in and putting the do not disturb sign up.

Why Are We Afraid Of Suffering?

Afraid Of Suffering

So many humans are afraid of suffering in our lives. To be honest, I was very afraid of suffering at one time and thought it was the worst thing that could happen to a person. Before you think I'm some pie-in-the-sky type of thinker, let me assure you that my life has been met with much adversity. All you have to do is read my book and you'll see quickly to what I am referring.

Often though, people just want us to think about thoughts of being happy or love and forget all the suffering we are going through. Many urge us to quit crying, move on from the pain and the struggles in life. While these people purport to desire that others find their true calling or purpose, I actually believe, pushing someone to "quit suffering" is doing more of a harm than a disservice.

Ask, Listen And Connect

There are moments in life where it seems more difficult than others. The struggle seems to prevail over the joys that are abundant. Even though life may look this way at times, the picture is being viewed upside down.

Often when it seems that things aren't going well, it is then that we need to stop and listen. For if we keep going, we may trip over the rock before us instead of noticing it in our path. Sometimes the rock is there for navigation purposes and not just an obstacle in our path.

Too often we see the cloudy day and forget that the sun has been shining for the past 100 days. We see the rain as ruining our plans instead of nurturing the earth. In fact, as we already know, both the sunshine and the rain are needed in our life to make it complete.

Just know that when you spend some time in your day asking the questions and listening for answers, you will be pleasantly surprised. You are not as alone as you sometimes feel. You are not wondering this path without support, guidance and love.

Take a moment to ponder these things and connect with how much is there for you. Let go of the doubts, fears, and worries for those things only slow down your journey.


Blog Post & Images (c ) 3/23/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Illusions In Healing

I am often amazed at how people, especially healers or people in the new age therapies or religious people of faith, respond to others when they are working to find their footing on the path of their life. So often, these people are inundated with statements from people that they did not solicit or that may not necessarily be helpful in the long run. The people giving the statements feel that they must say these things and so they do willingly and without stopping to consider what they are saying.

Lately, I've heard some whoppers being told to others and while there may be an element of truth to them, so much of what is said boils down to nothing more than belief, rather than truth based assistance. So many times in this world, the inhabitants fail to understand what truth really is while disguising truth with their own belief system. At the end of the day, if we are not careful to fully understand the difference, we not only hinder the advance of evolution and awareness along but sometimes in fact, we make it more difficult for others to find their way.

I grew up in a home where religious stuff was as rigid as a board and that if you did not believe this way, there was not only something wrong with you but that you were going to hell. There was no half way point, no discussion of ideas and no acceptance of anything that fell outside the realm of what was being taught in the religious setting. It was their way or the highway. You didn't get the chance to go in and check it out deep within you as that was not allowed. You were brought into the fold by accepting the truths of these people or cast out by your nonacceptance.

As I ventured into the healing word and the new age world, I have seen this play over and over again. All too often, I hear "truths" that are nothing more than beliefs. All too often, I see how people inwardly and silently roll their eyes if you don't agree with their set of beliefs. I see the beliefs and truths regurgitated at will without any real questioning as if they really have solid evidence or not. In the new age movement and the healing world, there are many who eschew religious institutions but yet, in many ways they are subscribing to the same procedure of a belief system. The only thing different is they are putting different labels, feelings, emotions and thought processes with it. At its root base or the core of what is being taught, the same practices are being transmitted to others.

Yes, I do know there are legitimate people out there doing work that actually evolves the human awareness and consciousness. Unfortunately, there are a vast majority of people who are into what I call the whooo whooo, no reality based practices. Please don't get me wrong because I am not saying that you cannot venture into the unknown and in fact I think the unknown is a vital part of life. The part I take strong disagreement with is when the whooo whooo becomes reality replaces the truth with a belief system. It is at that point, where these practices become dangerous and hurtful to others along their path.

Consider the following example for a moment. If you saw someone hanging off the edge of the cliff and their fingers were slowly slipping, what would you do? Before you answer this, consider some of the things that if someone was struggling in life, you would hear in a potential group of healers or religious people.

"You just need to think positive and imagine yourself being rescued."
"Just pray about it."
"You need to consider what the reason of this is."
"God has a reason for everything."
"Don't get angry or upset and fight this."
"Look at the good side of this, the happy side."
"Think happy thoughts."
"Don't take this frustration you have and turn it inward."
"It will get better."

I could go on and on forever with these statements and most of them I've heard recently. Now most of you would say, if a person is hanging over a cliff, you wouldn't say these things to them but you would either go get help, offer them a rope or help lift them back up to safety. It would seem logical and you're probably wondering what these statements have to do with pulling someone from safety.

Yet, if you think about it, when someone's life is struggling, instead of many people really being there for someone, we offer them pieces of yarn to help pull themselves back up. That is as far as we go and all the time, the person is slipping away off the cliff. We think we've given them something to help pull themselves up when in fact all we have given them is a flimsy piece of yarn that will not do much for them. It may give them an illusion that there is a rope to hang on to but most likely it will not hold their weight. So when they grab on to it, they will let go of the only grasp they have to the cliff and fall off into space. Of course at some point, the fall will be stopped by the earth but it will hurt and they will need to struggle all the harder to climb back up the cliff.

All too often, we fail to fully uncover and unearth that within us that holds us from truly connecting with others and being a light unto their path. We sometimes think we are giving them a lifeline of rope when we are not able to see that we are only giving others a piece of yarn. Until we learn how to open our own eyes and go deep within through our own fears and pains of the past, will we ever be there for others. We can give others the illusion that we are truly there for them and in fact we can give ourselves the illusion as well but until we understand that it is an illusion, it is nothing more than a magic trick.

Each one of us has the responsibility to become all we can be and evolve in awareness and consciousness. While we may not fully understand what all that means, it is our responsibility to go further in life and be all that we can be. We all have a path to walk and if we are just standing on the path, we are not walking forward. Until we recognize and realize that the pains and the fears we hold are motivating forces, we will stay stuck in the illusions of what we give to our self and what we give to others.



Blog Post & Images (c) 2/25/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Knowing

Here is a poem by a friend of mine that I thought was very powerful and says so much. I hope you like it as much as I do. Many of us struggle to heal and at times, finding the answers and finding our way through is not always easy.

One of the things that I have found is helpful is to journal and write in whatever form that takes for you. If it is poems, or just impromptu writing or some other form of expression, do whatever is necessary to heal. Self expression gives us back our power from events that have taken it away.


Here's the poem by Jeff Lemlich.


Knowing
by Jeff Lemlich


INNOCENCE was a place faraway,
a different lifetime,
surely a different reality.

Gone and lamented, lost and tumbling,
Stopping to gawk at myself
and the shell of a person
that struggles and meanders,
constantly tired.

And with each twitch and palpitation,
Will you watch someone’s essence and purpose fold into its
bony curved little spine?

Asking all the wrong questions.
Chasing all the wrong answers.

(c) May 8, 2003
(c) August 5, 2004

All rights reserved

For more about Jeff Lemlich, go to his website www.limestonerecords.com

Is Christmas Over Yet?

On November 29, 2010 the 5th most searched term on Yahoo.com was "depression". Does anyone find this odd or strange? Why is it that we have entered the "HOLIDAY SEASON", or as some demand we say, Christmas, and yet depression is on the top of everyone's mind? Let's pause and think about this for a moment.

Everyone has this utopia picture of Thanksgiving being a time when family gets together and enjoy the love that they share for each other. Yet, this more often than not, is so far from the truth. In fact, one of the more recent articles I saw published the other day said that domestic violence cases rise during the holidays.

Why is it that we all subscribe to this concept in our society? Is it out of duty and upbringing that we put ourselves through this torment? Is it because we feel we cannot rock the boat if we do not go along with what our family expects of us? Could it be that in order to show our love that we profess to our God that we put ourselves through something which we clearly do not want to do?

If we are to survive as a society, we need to begin opening our eyes up to how we treat one another and to what we all try to sweep under the rug. Depression, domestic violence and suicide does not make for happy holidays. We all know that of course but yet so many of us do very little to change that in our own lives. We tend to view it as a problem in the lives of others while were oblivious to what is going on in our own life.

Maybe what I write here today sounds pretty harsh and preachy but it really bothers me that the fifth most searched word on Yahoo.com was depression. My hope is that those who are struggling to make it through the holiday period and are fighting to stay alive will realize that the happy pictures of the holidays are not the norm. In fact, it is probably more normal to have a messed up family situation, especially during the holidays.

I know for years, I struggled to even make it through the holidays. This year is no exception because even with those around me that I love and cherish, the holidays are still a difficult time for me. Friends that I know are saying some of the things I am like "how much longer until December 26th!" For those of us who have gone through the horrors of Thanksgiving and Christmas, it is not an easy time. Yes, we suffer through it and we put the happy face on but deep down inside, it is pure torment. I'm just hoping that this is the year that the holidays are not quite as rough. I hope for this to be true.

If you are struggling with depression, thoughts of suicide or anger that leads to domestic violence, please go get help. Let me repeat this important statement. Please, go get help! It is not a sign of weakness to seek help. It is a sign of strength! I've been there and I've walked in those shoes. There are far too many horror stories I could tell in this regards. Alcohol is not the answer. Drugs are not the answer. Suicide is not the answer.

I just want everyone to know that you do not have to suffer in silence and even though you may feel all alone, there are people that care. I realize how difficult that is to hear and understand because I struggle with it as well. Just know that you are not alone. Others have walked in these same shoes.

Resolve to find something different you can do this year during the holiday season to change the course of events for your life. It may be planning a trip somewhere during the difficult times or on Christmas Day. It may be spending some quality time out in nature just enjoying the connection that you share with the world around you.

What if there was something that you could just give yourself that would help you know this year did not need to be like all the years past. What can you do to change the course of events for your life this holiday season? How can you help yourself? Go ahead and plan it out and enjoy the process of connecting with yourself. You might just find the joy that you can create in your life during these difficult moments.

(c) Don Shetterly 11/30/10 - Use by permission only.

Tough Times In Life

Sometimes no matter how you look at a situation, there seems to be no end in sight. It seems like there are no options for resolution. It feels as if this situation will go on forever and ever. No matter what one does or wishes for, the outcome seems to be the same.

Confusion leads its way to tiredness as the struggle takes over. In one's mind, it seems hopeless. In fact, you wonder if things will ever change or improve. After all, you've fought the good fight but no matter what, that does not appear to be enough.

In fact, you begin to wonder if there is ever enough for you to give in life to make things better. You question if there is even a way forward. Your mind fixates on gloom and doom because that is what is familiar. Yet, you long for the winds of change. You long for something out there that is different than what you regularly experience.

Of course, you realize if you look back that you've been up against some very large and thick walls before. They are those tough times in life that you've been through all too often it seems. You know that there has been some deep challenging moments in life that tested you beyond your limits. In these times, it always seemed the darkest before the dawn. It was when you felt hardest hit that somehow and in some way you found a door through the brick wall.

What seemed like a solid wall had a door in it the entire time. Until you ran your fingers over the entire wall did you find it. Looking at the brick wall, the door blended in. So even though it felt impossible at the time to find the passageway through the wall, you managed to do that. It wasn't easy and it was not quick but eventually you did it.

In the end, you had changed and evolved for the better. Of course this was difficult to see in that moment. As time went by, it became a clear, beautiful and detailed portrait. You were able to see that in reality, the brick wall was not as big or as sturdy as you thought it to be in those tough times of life. You just were not at a vantage point where you could see this.

It was only when you allowed your fingers to find the door that your vantage point showed up. You gave yourself the permission to do this and then allowed yourself the option of walking through the door.

No matter how dark, difficult or tough the times in life get, let us never forget the many doors we've already walked through. It was in those tough times that sparks were ignited to produce some of the most spectacular fireworks for our days ahead. It was in those moments that our confusion, our fears and hopelessness were morphed into a new and unfolding path.

So when it appears hopeless or there is no door to be found, let us reach out until we find it. Keep our minds remembering that we have traveled through these times before. In each time, there was a passage way. In each time, we found the door. Let the rest of the moment unfold just as clouds drift along the horizon. All of these things will work out if we allow it to. And soon, we will be rejoicing that the tough times in life yielded some momentous growth for us.


(Above Picture taken by Don Shetterly: Fireworks, New Years - Miami, FL - (c) 01/01/02)




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It's Ok If They Struggle

It's OK to sit with pain! It's OK to be in a space that seems dark, gloomy and full of despair. It's OK to be in a place of struggle, not quite knowing where the road leads. It is OK to be in that place where life seems to be smacking you around with no end in sight.

Unfortunately, for people watching someone experience these things, it is not OK. Others so badly want to deliver us from the pain and suffering. They feel it is necessary and their responsibility to do this. They struggle with difficulty to see when a person is in these moments. To them, it is not OK to see people suffer, be in pain and observe someone fighting to find their way.

Yet, just as good times are a part of life, so are the difficult times. Struggle and success are the same things, just opposites on a spectrum. Making it in life denotes that one came through the struggle. Without the struggle, they would most likely not have reached the moment they are at. It is almost like you cannot experience one without the other. Both are expected in order to fully grasp that which is good.

So often, people who care for and love others, struggle to watch another person experience what appears to be the low, difficult moments in life. These may be painful moments or times when life's problems and difficulties appear to be winning. Yet, if the individual did not experience the full range of their own life's experiences, would they truly grow in the way the needed to? Would the lesson that life was trying to offer them be taken away if they missed these true moments of stumbling? I would suggest that we need these moments because they are critical to our life. They may very likely be laying the foundation for future lessons. Without these experiences, we may not be prepared for what lies ahead.

In my own life, I was paralyzed and suffered through deep despair, depression and anxiety. I struggled to not only hold on in life but to even determine there was a path ahead for me. Yet, these moments of struggle prepared me for the road ahead. They gave me courage and strength to go into my own life's horrors. Without them, the healing that needed to happen would have been too difficult and great for me to experience.

Just like all of life is a dance, if we miss the pain, we would miss the dance. We cannot have one without the other. To wish that a person would not experience these things is to deprive them of all of their life's experiences. It is as much a part of who someone is and if we in any way hold a person back in feeling or experiencing these moments, then are we truly helping that person?

Yes, I know how hard it is to watch others deal with rough times. To see someone in pain, or dying or just struggling makes us want to ease their life through our compassionate eyes. We that love others, desire to see others in their true potential. We want them to experience the fullness of life as we see it.

Often though, our own fears, insecurities and lessons we must learn in life get in the way. Looking through our own filters, we see just one aspect of how someone's life should be. However, we may be unable to see more than that. Our fears should not dictate our interactions with others. Our fears, although well intentioned, may be holding someone back from experiencing and learning major truths for their lives.

Holding the space open means to be there with the person just as they are and having no expectations, judgments or desires. It is being there in that moment, offering yourself in a way that lets them know they can experience and travel these difficult moments to completion. It is being there for them in that moment, not concerned with how long or how difficult their struggle may be. It is clearing our own fears and insecurities in order to be fully present with them at that moment. Truly, it is a connection that goes beyond our own human understanding.

May we realize just how critical it is to be there with the person in these moments. May we realize that we may be standing at the edge of possibility and hope with them. For us to do anything less would be making ourselves and others, less than human. It is our connections that offer the greatest of love and the hope of possibility.


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My Financial Meltdown

I've wrestled with posting this or not because I don't normally like to display anything about my financial situation to people or to the general public that may be reading this. However, from the looks of the mess our country and world is in, I'm fairly certain, I'm not alone in what I share here. This is a page from my journal that displays in raw form, the cold hard realities I face. While I know many others face this very same thing, my hope is that somehow others can learn from what I'm going through. All too often, we sweep the financial frustrations under the rug because no one wants to really talk about them. We may do that by telling the person to think positive, to be abundant and to do a myriad of other things. While well intentioned, when one is in the middle of financial despair, these remedies do very little except helping the person giving them feel better. Yes, I'm being very blunt and honest here but again, this is cold hard reality in this moment. If you're not able to handle that, my suggestion would be to skip this post and not read it.

My Financial Meltdown
© Nov 2, 2009 by Don Shetterly

I am so tired of everyone wanting money or some form of money from me claiming that what they have for me is what I need. They mean well and they offer good things but for now, it makes no difference to me. At this point in my life, income is nonexistent and so any expense right now is like someone cutting off a body part with a dull knife.

I’m struggling to make it this year. Nothing has been easy for me and in fact, since bankruptcy, I think it is the worst year I have ever had. Everything I’ve tried, and worked for and hoped for has been a bust. Sorry, if it sounds like I’m sugar coating things here but I’m not.

We moved up here a couple of years ago and I thought that things would be a little tough, but then they would come together. Boy, was I ever wrong! I can’t seem to meet people here nor can I seem to find anyone that wants me to work on them (even if I give it away free). It doesn’t matter if I charge $100 or $0, the result is the same – no one to work on.

But this area is so difficult to meet people and lord knows I’ve tried. It is a strange area and I didn’t see that when we were looking at houses. Not that I miss Miami enough to want to move down there. The traffic, the over populated areas and the fickleness of it just left too much that doesn’t match up with me. I grew up in a much different part of the country that honors, respects people and treats people fairly. Things I didn’t find in Miami. The traffic – you couldn’t pay me a million bucks to move back there either. Yuk!

Anyway, let’s get back to the thing that has my blood boiling at the moment. I have absolutely no money to do anything extra. In fact, if it weren’t for my partner, I’d be living in a cardboard box and begging for food. I haven’t made enough money to support myself at all and if it wasn’t for considerable help right now, I’d be sunk. Credit Card debt has increased and right now, at this moment, I see no end in sight. That’s the picture in clear color!

Believe me, I’ve pondered and thought and tried to open my mind up to what it is that is blocked from me. Maybe I’m paying for past sins or maybe I am some cosmic joke in the universe. Yes, that may not sound good but damn it, life feels that way right now. In fact, I had read Catherine Ponder’s Book, “Open Your Mind To Prosperity” and since I did that, all HELL has broke loose it seems. I thought things were rough before but after getting only half way through that book, they got much worse. So maybe I’m clearing out or getting ready for something good to come my way, but geesshhh la rease I can’t take much more.

If life was about enduring it and seeing how much endurance you had, I’d be on top of the world or pretty close to it. I see others making it and not struggling the way I do and I wonder what in the hell is wrong with me. Why am I not making it? It makes no sense to me and I’m sure to others, it makes perfect sense. Most likely I’m not living up to the expectations of others in all of this – not that I live life trying to live up to what others want from me.

I feel like I’m on my own and alone in this world fighting through this. While I’m sure that is not the case, it feels this way. I know I’ve had to make it through most of my life on my own anyway so this is not new to me. And to be honest, I’m getting very tired of this struggle. I’m running out of energy and it seems like my life’s supply of energy is almost completely depleted.

I know no other place to turn nor do I know what to do next. I can’t even figure out how to make it through this month or even this week let alone any further than this. I hate doing the computer work these days because it is boring and a pain in the backside dealing with people. They always want something you can’t deliver and they want it completed before you even knew about it. Most of that work is next to nonexistent anyway and if it does show up, the pay rates are so low, one can barely net any money from it.

My music income is down so bad this year because of the economy which doesn’t help either. Last year, it was helping enable me to do a few things that I can’t even do this year and helped things to grow. Massage income is almost nonexistent. I can just see the loss on taxes now but that might be a good thing.

I really don’t know where to turn or when this HELL will end. I’m not sure if I can keep going any longer though. What is tough though when others want me to spend money for things that are undoubtedly good for me but if you have no more blood to give, you can’t bleed. I’m not talking just having a lower income. I mean, I have no money to spend. I can’t keep putting it on the Credit Card either.

It is like seeing someone out in the ocean drowning and instead of throwing them a rope or swimming out to help them, you offer them a bottle of water and a sandwich to eat. Of course you know that the person needs to keep up their strength and may be thirsty or dehydrated so you feel you’re offering them something good. But the person drowning, just needs the help and while the water and the sandwich may be good for them, it is the last thing on their mind. I feel like the person drowning and everyone keeps offering me water to drink instead of throwing me the rope. Maybe no one has a rope to throw me.

So I’m back at where I began. I feel like a whiner writing about my problems with no end in sight. I feel like I’m staring into a very long and dark tunnel with absolutely no clue when I will see the light of day, if ever. I feel like it is hopeless. I feel alone and fighting something that I’m not prepared to fight nor have I had any training. I don’t understand why I’m struggling so hard in life because I was always able to support myself. I wonder what is wrong with me and I long for answers or directional signs just to help keep me on a road, any road. At this point, I’m not particular.

Again, I keep coming up empty handed with absolutely no answers, no signs, no signals and nothing to show for life. I’ve read that you need to be happy with where your life is so you can move on but when you’re living in despair, happiness is one of those far off stars in the sky. You can see it, but that’s about it.

So what’s next – I haven’t got a clue. Where do I go from here – again, I don’t have a clue. I feel like a fraud at this point and I find myself day dreaming because that’s about all I have. The only other thing I have is a little bit of hope left that someday, I’ll look back and get a giggle out of what I wrote here.

With Courage Through Saddness

Some days, things go well and some days, it is a struggle. I'm fighting through some very difficult moments with a pet friend of mine who has been with me for 18 years. She has been through so much with me and sometimes if it wasn't for her, I'm not sure how I would have made it. Shortly after I got out of the hospital from my paralysis, she came into my life and has been there for me no matter what. I'm not sure how much time she has left in this world but even with the positive signs that shine through, I can see her days drawing to a close.

My heart is of course saddened with this but I know that she gave so much to me. There is so much more to the saga of life we share but for now, it is too difficult to write. And I know that as much as I want her around forever, I realize that I don't have that power or control to do this. All I can do at this moment is continue to love her and be with her till the very end.

In the end, I know that my life is much stronger, much more healthy and much better for having her in my life. That is something I carry with me through each remaining moment as I reach down deep within myself to find the courage to be there with her.

Observe And Know

Observe all that is around you

Observe all that is within you

And know that right now in this moment

You are everything you need to be.

Breathe it in.