A Thanksgiving Song

Written By Don Shetterly

This was a song I helped create for a Thanksgiving Day exercise.  I believe we were going to Faith Baptist Church of Hampton, Iowa at the time.  This was an activity we did as a family.  I guess because I played the piano it seemed logical. 

It has been many years since I have seen the words to this and my copy is tattered and worn.  To the best of my knowledge and as far as I know, there are no other copies of this song.

While it is hard to remember back to 1975 when this was created, I believe my mom helped me do this with limited assistance from others in my family.  My mom is no longer living, so there is no way to check for sure. 

At the top of the page is written, "tune to Onward Christian Soldiers."  I'm going to write the words here, and please feel free to use it if you want.  Just give me (Don Shetterly) credit for the words.  Most likely it was around 1975 when it was created.

Thankful

Dear Lord, we love you every day.
We're thankful always too,
We praise you for your blessings,
And lift our hearts to you.
You give us hope and cheer our hearts and
you hear our prayers too.
Help us, Lord, to do your will and
keep us ever true.

Chorus
Now we thank you for our friends, for fellowship so sweet,
keep us ever faithful and make our lives complete.

(c) 1975 by Don Shetterly, Barb Shetterly




May you be thankful in whatever form that takes for you on this Thanksgiving Day.  I hope that your thankfulness will extend beyond this day and become a daily experience.  Be not only thankful but let your heart give the blessings you have to those who need a little help.

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Blog Post And Images (c) November 23, 2017, by Don Shetterly

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Holidays Suck Less

This year, I have been trying something different.  In years past, I barely lived through any of the major holidays such as Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Normally I would be taken under by the weight of past experiences, hoping that the minutes would rush by and the end would come quickly.  In order to make holidays suck less, I decided it was time to change things in life.

One of the things I did this year was I had some major healing release work done on me just prior to the holidays.  Going into these healing sessions, I wasn't completely fixated on the holidays, but it was definitely on my mind.  Through these healing sessions, I was surprised at what came up and took place.  It was a far different picture than what I thought it would look like and it felt far different than what I expected.

As a result though, I'm making it this year much better than most years.  Yes, I still feel the stress and weight of the past, but they are not as large of creatures as I normally would observe.  It is like they are normal every day stress, not giants that would gobble me up in one bite.  They are manageable in that I can do some regular activities to help deflate the stress, rather than be over taken by it.  It helps me to experience a moment when holidays suck less.

Thanksgiving - The Time To Shop For Christmas

Thanksgiving - Time To Shop
For Christmas

We once again commemorate this long awaited for day in our country, Thanksgiving Day Holiday.  We've waited all year long to buy those much needed Christmas presents.  After all, its those great deals that help us buy the gifts for others and ourselves that we truly need.

We convince ourselves that there is just no time like this weekend to buy everything our heart desires.  Spending money we don't have, it all goes on the credit cards to pay off over the next year.  Nothing would stop us from doing this because it is just too practical to not go out and buy things at discounted prices.  The lure of the stores, the sounds of Christmas music and the fever of people lining up to get everything they can is too intoxicating for us.

We do recognize that this marks the season of the birthday of Jesus and we vow to keep Christ in Christmas, but please don't get in our way when the doors open at the stores on black friday.  You most likely will be trampled, or have toys and items yanked from your hands.  After all, to get the best deals, this is all worth it!   Trampling people and fighting for deals is all part of the game.  It is being human.  It is survival of the fittest!

Is Christmas Over Yet?

On November 29, 2010 the 5th most searched term on Yahoo.com was "depression". Does anyone find this odd or strange? Why is it that we have entered the "HOLIDAY SEASON", or as some demand we say, Christmas, and yet depression is on the top of everyone's mind? Let's pause and think about this for a moment.

Everyone has this utopia picture of Thanksgiving being a time when family gets together and enjoy the love that they share for each other. Yet, this more often than not, is so far from the truth. In fact, one of the more recent articles I saw published the other day said that domestic violence cases rise during the holidays.

Why is it that we all subscribe to this concept in our society? Is it out of duty and upbringing that we put ourselves through this torment? Is it because we feel we cannot rock the boat if we do not go along with what our family expects of us? Could it be that in order to show our love that we profess to our God that we put ourselves through something which we clearly do not want to do?

If we are to survive as a society, we need to begin opening our eyes up to how we treat one another and to what we all try to sweep under the rug. Depression, domestic violence and suicide does not make for happy holidays. We all know that of course but yet so many of us do very little to change that in our own lives. We tend to view it as a problem in the lives of others while were oblivious to what is going on in our own life.

Maybe what I write here today sounds pretty harsh and preachy but it really bothers me that the fifth most searched word on Yahoo.com was depression. My hope is that those who are struggling to make it through the holiday period and are fighting to stay alive will realize that the happy pictures of the holidays are not the norm. In fact, it is probably more normal to have a messed up family situation, especially during the holidays.

I know for years, I struggled to even make it through the holidays. This year is no exception because even with those around me that I love and cherish, the holidays are still a difficult time for me. Friends that I know are saying some of the things I am like "how much longer until December 26th!" For those of us who have gone through the horrors of Thanksgiving and Christmas, it is not an easy time. Yes, we suffer through it and we put the happy face on but deep down inside, it is pure torment. I'm just hoping that this is the year that the holidays are not quite as rough. I hope for this to be true.

If you are struggling with depression, thoughts of suicide or anger that leads to domestic violence, please go get help. Let me repeat this important statement. Please, go get help! It is not a sign of weakness to seek help. It is a sign of strength! I've been there and I've walked in those shoes. There are far too many horror stories I could tell in this regards. Alcohol is not the answer. Drugs are not the answer. Suicide is not the answer.

I just want everyone to know that you do not have to suffer in silence and even though you may feel all alone, there are people that care. I realize how difficult that is to hear and understand because I struggle with it as well. Just know that you are not alone. Others have walked in these same shoes.

Resolve to find something different you can do this year during the holiday season to change the course of events for your life. It may be planning a trip somewhere during the difficult times or on Christmas Day. It may be spending some quality time out in nature just enjoying the connection that you share with the world around you.

What if there was something that you could just give yourself that would help you know this year did not need to be like all the years past. What can you do to change the course of events for your life this holiday season? How can you help yourself? Go ahead and plan it out and enjoy the process of connecting with yourself. You might just find the joy that you can create in your life during these difficult moments.

(c) Don Shetterly 11/30/10 - Use by permission only.

Thanksgiving From A Bird's View

Kevin Kalhagen and his wife Trish and son Tommy are great friends of mine. Kevin wrote this in an email and sent it to me the other day. After I read it and saw the picture, I knew that this was perfect for a post on Thanksgiving Day. Fortunately Kevin and Trish allowed me to post the picture and what he wrote. They and their son Tommy volunteer with the birds and Tommy is known as the budgie whisperer.

So here is what Kevin sent to me and it is really meaningful about what we can be thankful for in our lives. Let the bird teach us what thanksgiving is really about. Thank you Kevin for sharing this with me and I hope each person that reads it is touched deeply.

• Tommy's Website (Budgie Parakeet Whisperer)
• Trish's Website (Sacred Moments)
• Fine Feathered Friends Sanctuary (Website)

I was helping at the bird sanctuary Saturday. They have a separate room with the big white Cockatoos in it, they are very noisy and give off a dander like dust from their feathers that some of the other birds react to. I have very limited knowledge on these birds so I am not in there as much.

Recently a 12 year old cockatoo came in that was in bad shape, I would say half of its feathers are gone from plucking (when a bird is bored or not given proper attention or good food they can pluck most of their feathers, if bad enough they do not grow back).

This bird was out on a stand with alot of people around, then I was left in there alone with it. I decided to sit with it before putting it back. I had seen this bird out before and it is very gentle. This bird actually cuddled with me. It tucked its head under my chin and talked gently to me, then started to kiss and nibble on my beard. I have to say it was a spiritual moment I cannot explain.

I told Trish about it and she wanted to see this bird. We went out Sunday afternoon, the bird did the same thing to her (see photo of Trish Kalhagen holding the cockatoo). The person running the sanctuary said the bird will do that with anyone.

It got me thinking, this bird had been neglected for 10 years (that's how long the people had it that brought it in) and it has not given up, still has a loving spirit, could I do that? I do not know. The photo hides how bad this bird looks, it has no wing, back, or chest feathers.

(c) 11/23/10 - use by permission only

Thanksgiving Stress

Yesterday, I woke up with many things on my to do list that needed to be accomplished. So I started working on them not giving a thought to where my mental and emotional state were. After all, I had just come off of a very peaceful and fabulous weekend, so I thought - things are lookin up!

But as Tuesday wore on, I was in frantic hyper mode trying to get 50 things done at once and growing ever impatient with myself. Without even realizing it, I really did not want to see any other living person around me and so I buried myself in more of my to do lists. It was a vicious cycle and one which has played out before but the thing was, while it was going on, I did not notice it. I did not notice what was flying under the radar hidden from my vantage point.

By the afternoon, I had almost exhausted myself from the stress I was putting myself under. Yet, I did not even realize that I was even doing this. Feeling very tired and worn out, I laid down on my massage table to just let go of everything and rest my eyes. During that time of rest, I began to become aware of what was going on. And then - it dawned on me - Thanksgiving was this week.

Thanksgiving used to be a wonderful time for me as a kid. There was all this food and we often got to travel to my relatives house where everyone enjoyed spending time with each other. Playing pool on the pool table at my uncle's house or just smelling the cooking from the kitchen. Waiting ever so patiently for the meal to be served which always seemed to take longer than expected while the football games would blast from the living room TV. Even if we did not travel on that day and stayed home, it was such a peaceful time, full of memories and we especially got the day to just be inside and maybe watch some TV or sleep in - you know - the stuff kids do. It was such a wonderful time.

Hold on one darn gosh minute! The above "wonderful time for me as a kid" was nothing like what I experienced. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me! Thanksgiving was anything but this. If we had to travel to our relatives house, there was plenty of bitching and squabbling going on and oh the gossip would flow - all in catching up with one another of course and trying to talk about what was best for each family member. Yeah Right - as I roll my eyes a few times! The TV was so darn blasted loud that one could hardly hear anyone talk and maybe for good reason. After a few hours of this, my head would begin pounding because of the noise, the bitching and the squabbling. And since we were going to have a big meal for the day, we would often not get to eat anything until this point. Most of the time, it would be sometime in the mid afternoon before the meal was ready and by that time, I was so hungry, I didn't care what the food tasted like, I just wanted to stuff food in my belly.

And if we did stay home, it wasn't like we got to be kids and sleep in. There was always things to do and work to be done on our stupid little 3 acre ranch! And if my Dad couldn't think up something for us to do, there was always his moment of enjoyment which meant we went out and cut wood in the cold and snow. While he enjoyed it, I could have wanted to find something else to do for just one day of the year. And to not forget this momentous occasion one thanksgiving where my Dad felt we all needed to drink wine. Consider growing up in a home where everything was a sin including drinking wine and yet my father belittled me into trying to get me to drink the wine. The guilt trip he laid on me for exercising my right to say no to this was horrendous.

These were the memories of Thanksgiving that I have. While I would like to think they were the "Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving Memories" and as much as I would like to play like they were, Thanksgiving was anything but this. It was stressful and too many times, I witnessed my mother feeling sick or having a migraine during this day. Too many times, I witnessed my father wielding the rod of child rearing during this time. Too many times, I worked my butt off out in the cold and snow just so we didn't have to be one happy family around each other.

So yesterday, it was no surprise to me when I started to become aware of just how Thanksgiving was impacting me. In the past, I've almost laid a few big tough guys and ladies on the ground in stores because the anger of my own pain had consumed me. I still remember one year trying to pick a fight with two guys that were twice my size and to this day, I'm glad they just walked on and ignored me. It is amazing what the unresolved pain and hurt can do to a person. I'm also aware that so many others go through similar reactions like I do when it comes to the holidays.

While so much has improved for me, the stress of this time builds up. I've worked on building my own memories and while that does help, the pain of the past is still there as a foundation to my life. You can often do things to forget, but it doesn't mean everything ceases to exist.

Fortunately yesterday, I was smart enough to go to Yoga. When I got to the fitness center, my resting pulse was around 112 which is very high and even high for me. I did the Yoga and took my pulse reading again with the Finger Pulse Oximeter and my pulse had come down around 92. While that is still high, it had dropped 20 points. This morning when I woke up, my pulse was actually down to 68.

I'm glad I did Yoga because it helped reset and reregulate my autonomic nervous system. When we are out of balance and in the sympathetic mode of our nervous system, it is not uncommon for our pulse to be very high. If we can find a way to reset our body's nervous system and get back into parasympathetic mode, our pulse should come down. Yoga is just one way to help with this but the way I have found which works very well and very quickly is through the practice of Unified Therapy. I've seen my pulse rate drop from the high 90's down to the high 50's in just a matter of an hour on the table with Unified Therapy. Yoga is a good complement to this particular work and helps to maintain the work on the table. It is through the breathing and mindful connection of the body that we are able to make physical changes within our bodies.

If you are like me and struggle through the stress of Thanksgiving, I want you to know you're not alone. I've been there, done that and have far too many tshirts to show for it. If you can find things to do on that day that help ease your pain, do them! Don't feel like you have to do what society says you must do on this day just to appease people! Take care of yourself and give yourself the good memories and good experiences you deserve. Finding ways to help others can often be a good source of a soothing balm to help comfort your own pain.

And if you're one that has had happy memories, my hat is off to you. Consider sharing that with others who don't have those memories and being understanding of those that struggle through these times. Just thinking happy thoughts or whatever advice you may have just might not necessarily help the people who deal with intense pain during this time. Allowing them to just be in whatever way they need to and letting them know that they aren't alone, can be one of the greatest blessings you could give to those in pain. It might not seem like much to them but believe me, those thoughts given with the purest of love is a great and wonderful gift.

I'm happy that I was able to spot the stress beginning to show itself in my life like I did this year. In years past, it would have just completely pulled me under. While it is still difficult to some degree, I do try to do things that help take care of myself. The pain is not as difficult as it once was but it is still there.

So I'll end this on a happy note that I am thankful for how far I've come, that I survived this far into my life and that I'm beginning to really separate the joy from the pain of my past. I'm also thankful that I am able to write about this so others out there maybe won't feel so all alone on holidays such as this. May we all reflect on all that we have, not what we feel we don't have and may we all be extra sensitive to those who are still struggling to see this.

10 Things I’m Thankful For

1) That I’m taking care of myself more and more and really continuing to discover all there is about myself. No more do I go through life just as a human but as a human that is evolving.

2) Having a partner that cares so much about me, that loves me unconditionally and puts up with all my faults, heartaches, fears and quirks. I’ve never had that in my life until I met Jeff and I’m so thankful that we met and are spending our lives together as we just marked our 9 year anniversary.

3) Having a house that stayed dry through the hurricane and not losing everything we owned like many in our areas did.

4) Having a home which we just love and enjoy and gives us a nice quality of life.

5) Having two new kittens that are so adorable and fun to be around along with snuggles who is the ruler of the kittens and the house or so she thinks.

6) Getting enough income this year to make it through the year without completely falling on my face. In addition, I was able to make some purchases that I badly needed and had put off for many years.

7) A new president being elected who is down to earth, a common person and hopefully one that will truly be a President of the people. It is refreshing to see the President elect embrace those who are gay instead of bashing them and for that I am truly thankful.

8) All that is growing in my garden and the great vegetables that I get out of it.

9) The things that I as well as many others take for granted. Things that appear to be necessities when in fact they are luxuries. It wasn’t that long ago in my life that going to be on a full stomach was quite an accomplishment for a day.

10) Friends far and wide who I know in person or online, who have moved away or we moved away from them, for some that I speak to frequently and for some it feels more distant.



What are you thankful for?