Christmas Pulse Rate

Holiday Pulse Rate
http://PulseRateHealthy.com

At one time, my pulse rate would stay up around 99 and no matter what I did, it would not come down to a healthy pulse rate.  After some intense healing work that allowed me to release some physical trauma stored within my body, my pulse rate started to drop.  Most of the time, it is around the 70's to the 80's and I can live with that.  Occasionally, I drop down into the 60's.  The pulse rate I am referring to is my resting pulse rate or also known as a resting heart rate.

Because of the Christmas season, I've been experiencing a great deal of stress as is normal for me.  The past pains catch up with me this time of year and although it is not as bad this year, I still feel the effects.  Generally, the day after Christmas, it is like my body has been reborn again and the stresses that I felt for days before have mostly vanished.  The after affects though, sometimes linger around for days.

Relaxation Or Stress - Your Choice!

Corey The Orange Cat
Enjoying Relaxation

While we can have relaxation without release, it is often limited.  The more you can release and let go, the deeper the relaxation will be.  Imagine a container full of water that is almost full.  Imagine that the water in the container represents stress in your life and the container is your body and mind.  Now, try to add another container full of water and see what happens.  Most likely you will see the water overflow as the original container can only hold so much.  However, if you take water out of container, than you can add much more into it.

Our body is the same way.  We heap stress upon it every day hoping that somehow, it will just absorb it.  The thing is, we are usually numb to what is going on around us and in our life, so we don't even really sense or connect to all the trauma we put our body through in a day.  We just keep doing it minute after minute, day after day, with absolutely no rest in sight.  At some point during the year, we take a one or two week vacation, maybe even throw a massage in there and claim we've done a lot for our self.  Then, we head back to work and push our body every single day for the next year!

Resting Pulse Rate And Elasticity

I have been on a long journey to see my pulse go from around 99 beats per minute down to the low 60's which is more normal and healthy.  For a long time, 99 was my low and 60 bpm was just a dream.  Lately, as part of my Pulse Rate Healthy project, I have been recording my pulse rate.

Last night, when I measured it with my pulse meter, I found that it was only 65.  Usually at night just before I go to bed, that is one of the most difficult times for me.  At this point of the day, my pulse is generally not low and most of the time around 80 or higher.

I was ecstatic when I saw that my post was at 65 going to bed.  Generally I would have to sleep peacefully for eight hours to get to this point.  It felt good and wonderful just to know that I was finally lowering my high resting pulse rate.  In fact, I could actually feel the sense of peacefulness and calmness in my body as I went to sleep.

Trauma: Release Anger In The Pool

For those people that have been dealt a heavy hand of trauma in their lives, anger is one of the recurring nightmares that they must face. Even with much therapy, there is always that residual anger that keeps coming up. While you can make significant progress in learning to deal with anger and finding ways to release anger, it still shows up.

All too often in our lives, as victims of trauma or child abuse, we were not allowed to show anger for what was happening to us. Even in traumatic moments, the energy is locked within us. The focus at those moments is on survival, not dealing with the feelings and emotions of anger. In the end, unless we deal with the anger that has locked itself deep within us, it will stay hidden below the surface. It is crucial that we find ways to discharge the energy of the anger stored within our bodies. If we do not do this, we will be met with many physical challenges and be as a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.

For a long time, I could not allow myself to get angry. My image of anger that I grew up with was an explosive father who just lashed out at the nearest person. During much of my life, I was so afraid of anger that I just held it in. Yes, if you are wondering, it did cause many physical problems from a nervous stomach, to shoulder, neck and back pain and in my case, paralysis. It took me a long time and a very safe place, with a very safe person who allowed me to go in and feel that anger. For some time, it was very difficult and scary and I needed much reassurance.

As time has passed, I have begun to release so much of the deep held anger within my body. It is the anger that is far below the surface and is not always easy to get in touch with. However, it affects me each and every day of my life in all that I do and all those that know me. M

I have gotten to a point where I can readily feel when the anger and stress levels are building up in me. If at that moment, I can begin to recognize these things and work through some of the surfacing anger, it will not nearly have the effect on me that it once did in my life. Of course, the fears that come up with this anger is that it will go to far and that I will lose control. I really have to honor those feelings and respect them so I allow myself to move through this in a safe manner.

Here is an exercise that I have used to help release anger by going to a swimming pool. This is an additional exercise that builds off of a previous blog post that I wrote (see Ways To Release Anger posted on 1/24/10).

Here's what to do:
Find a pool where you can have a little privacy and if you have one in your backyard, that is ideal.

As you begin to prepare yourself to do this exercise, begin focusing on the anger that you are feeling. Try to picture it completely in your mind and even talk about it or write about it if you can, even if this is just to yourself. Whatever works and makes you feel safe, allow yourself to really connect with that anger.

Now, go into the pool and find a level of water that is comfortable for you and where you can get solid footing. As you get your balance and footing in the water, begin to think about that which you are angry. At this point, you can either do the exercise mentioned above (Ways To Release Anger) or you can mix that in with this exercise. Whatever way feels right and works for you is the key.

So as you have your footing solid on the floor of the pool, begin to take your arm and make your hand into a fist, then start punching the water out. Use as much force as you can and really go deep and hard in to the water. Feel all of what is going on from the strength it takes to do this and the anger that you feel in your arm. Feel the pressure of the water pushing back as you punch the water. Continue to do this with one arm and then try it with the other arm. Feel free to alternate back and forth. Be creative in allowing yourself to connect with the anger. Remember, the water is not going to be hurt by you punching it. It is a safe way to release the anger.

Continue doing this until your body begins to feel exhausted and tired. You may be surprised at just how quickly this happens especially if you are really connecting to the anger and allowing that anger to exit through your arms. Before you get completely exhausted, find a comfortable, safe and inviting place to lie or sit down. Allow your body to feel everything that it is feeling from the exhaustion to the anger to the energy and excitement of what you just did. Allow your body to move or tremble or shake in any way that it may need to. Give yourself permission to cry or to scream out if that is what seems like the thing to do. You may even want to go and scream into the water if you're not in a place where you can do this safely. Just let everything come out and feel every bit of it. Notice all that is going on within your body.

Give yourself enough time to just rest and let your breathing and heart rate come down. Make sure you have plenty of time to just rest and relax because after you pushed your nervous system up into the anger phase, you need to give yourself the opposite side of it. It is the reward for going in and doing the hard work that you just did.

If you have a pulse meter, try to check it before you do this exercise and check it after. When I did it, my pulse went from a very high rate of around the 80-90's down to around 60 beats per minute. The more the drop, the more you really got in touch with your anger and released it. A pulse meter is a very good tool in helping you discern what really took place. And if by chance, you didn't get that great of a drop, don't worry - just try the exercise again. The more you connect with this, the more you will be able to impact your body in a very healthy way. Remember, you're not just releasing anger but you are having a positive impact on your physical, mental and emotional well being.


(Above Picture taken at our pool - (c) 09/07/10)




*Read other articles on Mind Body Thoughts Blog

High Pulse Rate And Heart Disease

According to a recent article published on MSNBC, Guys, These 7 Quick Checks Could Save Your Life, there was a very useful statistic regarding heart rate. According to researchers in Italy, having a resting heart rate (pulse) over 70 bpm (beats per minute) increases your risk of dying of heart disease by 78%. If you stop and think about that, this is a statistic that will get your attention.

A resting heart rate is the rate at which your heart beats while you are at a complete rest. The best time to check this is in the morning after a good night of sleep and before you get out of bed. Another time to check it would be after meditation or a relaxing massage. Any time where your body is at a resting state is where you will find your resting heart rate (resting pulse).

The heart generally beats around 60 to 80 times a minute. This is the heart rate or pulse that we all hear about. The terms are usually interchanged but basically they mean the same thing. Your resting heart rate is dependent upon your age, your activity level and how much stress you have residing in your body. You can strongly influence what your heart rate or pulse rate is by exercising regularly and getting bodywork done on yourself such as massage to help you release built up stress in your body.

Unfortunately, most of us do not even know what our pulse rate is. We go through our days hoping that everything is ok and if we feel sick or out of whack, we then schedule an appointment to see a doctor. By then, we could have already taken steps to lower our pulse rate but for some reason, in our culture, we do things backwards. Most people have a pulse rate that is very high and many have a pulse rate that is in the 90's or even 99 and above. When you get into the range of 99, you are entering dangerous territory with your life and your health.

For most of my life, my pulse was probably very high but I didn't realize it. Every time I went to the doctor, they would check it and even though it was high, it always was attributed to the fact that I have a big fear of doctors. My anxiety level goes through the roof the moment I walk into a doctor's office. However, even though my pulse showed that it was high, no one figured it out for most of my life. In the following blog posts, you'll quickly see how I learned about it and what I did to work on it.


1) Finger Pulse Meter, Know What's Going On

2) Why Is My Pulse High?

3) The Pulse Of Autonomic Arousal



The biggest thing you can do to help yourself is knowing where your pulse is at. That is why I bought the Finger Pulse Oximeter. Ok, I know that sounds like an advertisement and it is, but it is also what really helped me. This little pulse meter allowed me to begin checking my pulse at different times of the day or night and I was surprised at just how high my pulse was for most of my day. Even at a time of rest, it would remain around 99 bpm. Once I knew that my pulse was high, I could begin working on it. Until that point, I was not even aware or conscious that it was.

Since this time, my pulse now stays down around the higher 60's to lower 70's. It isn't exactly as low as I want it to be but going from 99 bpm pulse rate down to 70 is a big improvement. I am continuing to make changes in my life to help improve this and to better my overall health. Of course, until I started to measure my pulse, I had no way to know just how dangerously I was living. I urge anyone reading this to begin checking their pulse frequently and see where you are at. Once you do that, you too can take appropriate actions to help reduce your pulse rate and improve your health.



*Read other articles on Mind Body Thoughts Blog

The Pulse Of Autonomic Arousal

The past several weeks and especially the past few days, I've been under a tremendous amount of stress. I could feel it building up within me. The overall tension in my body was building and making it difficult to just enjoy living in my body. My nerves were on end and I could feel an overall agitation knowing that there were many things to get done and not enough time to do them in. I felt the pressures of the world, of daily life, responsibilities coming down on me as well as things that various people were expecting me to get done.

It seemed like no matter what, finding a moment of peace was almost as difficult as finding a four leafed clover. Yet, I longed for peace, for rest and even just some tranquility in my life. It had been far too long because I had been just pushing myself hard and for good reason.

Then I grabbed my pulse meter and went into my massage room to just give myself a moment of saying, this is my time. I didn't care what I had to do at that moment, but I just wanted some time of rest for myself. The pulse meter of course showed exactly what I felt in my body with my pulse being around 110 beats per minute. Of course, I've been down this road and so I didn't freak out from fear of my pulse being so high.

As I went into my body and connected with all the shaking, tremors and movements, I began to feel some pain and the tension really deep within me. It was at that moment, that my body began to violently shake and move almost as if the movements were coming from deep within my core. I allowed this to take place and just road it through as a surfer riding a wave. For I knew that at some point, it would dissipate and subside. It was potential energy that needed to get released. My body continued to twist and turn with moments of extreme shaking and movements then letting go and sinking down in to the table.

My pulse after a few minutes had come down from 110 to 103 which is still high but an improvement. Than as I continued to lay there listening to the relaxing sounds I had going, my pulse slowly began to come down to around the low 90's. Again, that is still a high pulse and shows that there is autonomic arousal in my nervous system. The best thing would be for me to go further into this but the time doesn't permit me to do this at the moment.

The feeling though of my body at 110 bpm and then at the low 90's felt like a nice wave of relaxation to me. It felt refreshing and welcoming to me. It gave me a breath of fresh air knowing that I could drop my pulse down and dissipate some of the stored energy that was locked up in my body. Tomorrow, I will do more with this and drop it further but for now, I'll just enjoy the feeling of my body coming down and letting go and traveling deeper into relaxation, rest and peace.


*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Finger Pulse Meter - Know What's Going On

The pulse rate measurement using the Finger Pulse Oximeter is good not only to get a specific number but it shows in wave form just how strong or weak, steady or inconsistent the pulse is. It really gives a true picture of what is going on with the person's nervous system. Most people are not able to tell this and even if they think they can, the mind can fool you into what is happening with the body. Our filters, life experience, our awareness and our past traumas all play into how we read what is happening in our body.

As much work as I do on myself, sometimes I cannot tell what is actually happening in my body. There have been times that I have been dreaming and felt like my heart was racing as wildly and rapidly as it could, only to put the pulse meter on my finger and find out it was operating at a normal rate. There have been other times that I felt pretty rested and relaxed but found that the pulse meter showed my pulse to be around 99 bpm (beats per minute). We all go through this at one level or another. Some of us are more aware of ourselves and our body and we listen to our body but some of us spend very little time doing this. What each of us senses as a result of how closely we are connected between our mind and body is going to vary from person to person.

In a recent example, I've been working with a device that is designed to help relax you and bring you into a resting state. When I started working with it, after 30 minutes I would feel more relaxed and rested. However, when I put the Finger Pulse Oximeter on my finger and checked my pulse, it would show that there was very little drop in my pulse rate. Nothing had changed in my biology and physiology although my mind was telling me that I felt more relaxed. The device I was using helped me to feel good and while there is some benefit to that, without creating real physical and biological change, there is almost an insignificant amount of healing taking place. In fact, I could get the same drop in my pulse rate by laying still on my massage table for 15 minutes.

I'm just amazed at how the Finger Pulse Oximeter can really tell me in a clear, concise way what is going on when my body feels completely different than what the pulse meter says. Without it, I would be thinking that I had really achieved relaxation when in reality, I had not. It is very important to know exactly what is going on and not just guessing at it. This pulse meter is invaluable to me and is an excellent tool in monitoring my overall health.


*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Why Is My Pulse High?

While I cannot say for certain, I have a feeling that my pulse has been too high for most of my life. I remember when going into doctor's offices, they would check the vital signs. My pulse was high, but it would be attributed to the anxiety I faced just seeing a doctor. My anxiety levels were always very high. The high pulse rate would be brushed aside as something normal when in fact, it was anything but normal.


The WAKE UP CALL
Back in October at a session I had with Dr. Canali, he checked my pulse with the Finger Pulse Oximeter and noticed that my pulse was running around 99 beats per minute (bpm). It was a shock to both of us because up until that point we had not checked it, and I did not realize it was high. If you want to have a big scare in your life that indicates there is something wrong in your heart and circulatory system, this will do it. It scared the daylights out of me and I'm glad it did. I was most likely a walking poster boy for serious potential heart problems.

One of the first things that I did when I got home was purchase the exact same Finger Pulse Oximeter that Dr. Canali was using sold by Clinical Guard.  However, I have found one that seems to be just as good and for much less on Amazon (check out this Finger Pulse Oximeter). When I started to check myself on a daily basis, I noticed that my pulse was all over the place. There were times I was up to 125 and 130, but most of the time, I was around 99. These were resting pulse rates! I would take my pulse meter to the fitness center when I worked out, and noticed that while my pulse would go up a little when I exercised vigorously, it was not necessarily into the optimal range according to the exercise equipment. I took it in with me when I did Yoga and while sometimes it would come down slightly from the 99 range, many times my pulse continued to be high. For a long time, it seemed like no matter what I did, my pulse would stay high.

The reason I use this pulse meter is that it tells me in real time what my pulse is, and how the wave forms of my pulse appear. It gives me some very good and helpful information.  Hope And Possibility Through Trauma - Don Shetterly

How High Should My Pulse Be?
According to Wikipedia, Tachycardia is when the heart rate exceeds the normal range for a resting heart rate. Resting heart rate is the heart rate in an inactive or sleeping individual. When the heart beats rapidly, the heart pumps less efficiently and provides less blood flow to the rest of the body, including the heart itself. The increased heart rate also leads to increased work and oxygen demand for the heart, which can cause a heart attack if it persists. This occurs because decreased flow of necessary oxygen to the heart causes myocardial cells to begin to die off. Acutely, this leads to angina, and chronically to ischemic heart disease.

A normal resting heart rate in beats per minute is normally stated between 60 and 100 and of course tachycardia is around 100 bpm for an adult according to the Mayo Clinic Website. In comparison, a well trained athlete can have a pulse rate of 40-60 bpm.

Also keep in mind that the pulse rate can be influenced by the following:

• Activity level
• Fitness level
• Air temperature
• Body position (standing up or lying down, for example)
• Emotions
• Body size
• Medication use

How Did I Lower My Pulse Level?
While I could have taken medications, and had all kinds of test and procedures, I chose not to take this route. For you see, my belief is that when you introduce medications to the body, you might give the appearance that you are helping the situation when in fact, you are just masking a much bigger problem. Any time you try to suppress one system of the body, you impact another system. I'm not saying that there is never a need for medication, and that is something that you need to decide on with your doctor. I'm just trying to propose another way to look at how to treat the body.

My route that I took to deal with this involved getting work done by Dr. Canali. If our bodies are overloaded with stress, trauma, and other influences, it will have a biological impact upon us. This influences how the body takes care of itself and how it works to keep us in balance. So any major impact will throw our entire body system off, including our autonomic nervous system. It prevents the master healing system within us to take over and make corrections within our body. In my case though, I was not even aware for most of my life that my pulse was high. The pains we face, the high pulse rates, or other health measurements we check are an indication of what is going on within the body and often times, it is the way the body is trying to get our attention. The body sends us messages all the time but all too often, we do not pay attention to them.

The work I did with Dr. Canali involves going deep into one's self and becoming aware of all that is there. As you become aware of it and allow your body to release all of the long held trauma, stress, anxiety, and fears, the body then has a capacity to begin regulating entire systems in a much healthier way. It is healing that comes from within, not necessarily from other sources that are introduced to the body. Sometimes the change is immediate and other times it takes some work to get there.

In my last session with Dr. Canali in March, we saw that my pulse was down in the mid 70's. The best part of this is that it was staying more steady and not jumping and spiking like it once did. I'm sure I still reach some moments where I spike up to the 99 or 100 bpm, range but I've been checking it, and it is staying around the 74 bpm range. No longer am I living each day in the tachycardia range, which is a major change in me physically and biologically. My days can still be stressful but I'm finding I have much more capacity to deal with the stress, and not hold all of it in. That is a big shift in me.

Other things that I did to help myself with this was that I continued my Yoga at the fitness center, did a lot of deep breathing exercises in myself, and tried to spend time frequently allowing myself to relax. Through the work of Dr. Canali, I've learned how to go in and discharge and release some of the emotions and fear that are coming up within myself. Listening to relaxing music (by Don Shetterly) or music by Steven Cravis, has helped me greatly to just let go of the stress and relax.



The Finger Pulse Oximeter
At one time I was recommending the Clinical Guard product, but since they have stopped working with me without explanation, you can find other products on Amazon for much less money.  Here is one that I see that looks similar in comparison.  I have not tested it so I cannot fully state how good it is.

I became an affiliate for Clinical Guard (where you can purchase the Finger Pulse Oximeter) and earn a commission on sales, because this pulse meter helped save my life. Without having the pulse meter available to me and without being able to monitor myself, I would have continued through life not knowing that this was a problem until most likely it would have been too late. The best part about this particular Pulse Meter is that you can see the pulse, the oxygen level of your blood, and the wave forms of your pulse. It truly gives you a lot of information in a very quick way. The beginning point though is to give yourself information, and through the use of the pulse meter, you will be learning so much about yourself. It will help you begin to take corrective action that will truly make a difference in your life.

I'm not a medical doctor, of course, so any information I've presented here is from my own experience and what I can find searching the internet. You need to always check things out, and do your own research as well as make informed decisions with appropriate medical providers.






Closing Thought
While all of us are conditioned to seek out drugs and tests first, our bodies are very good at healing themselves, if we allow that to happen. However, many of us have gone through life dragging our baggage from the past with us. We may feel like we have dealt with it only to truly find that we are just suppressing it. Suppression is not dealing with things. Going into the fears and the pains that we have, and giving them a safe way to release is where the healing begins. It is like Dr. Canali has often said to me, "If you have a closet that is full and you want to put more stuff into it, you cannot do this until you first take something out". It is the same in the body. If you have so much stuff within you (including emotional, mental, toxic substances), than there is no way to give yourself deep peace or to bring in that which is good for yourself. Yes, you can have peaceful moments to some degree, but to truly find that deep peace and source of strength within yourself, you must remove all that is cluttering the way of its expression.



Further Information:
1) Finger Pulse Oximeter
2) Wikipedia - Article on Tachycardia
3) Mayoclinic.com - Heart Rate: What's Normal?
4) Dr. Paul Canali at Evolutionary Healing Institute
5) Ansar Group - Heart Rate Variability
5) Don Shetterly - Relaxing Piano Music
6) Steven Cravis - Healing Meditation Music



Other Blog Posts
1) My Pulse Is Too High Follow Up
2) My Pulse Is Too High
3) Finger Pulse Oximeter



*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Healing Piano Music

WOW – no let’s make that a DOUBLE WOW! This CD, Healing Piano by Steven Cravis, really surprised me. I was expecting the sounds that I had come to know in Steven Cravis’ other CD’s but when I heard this one, I was surprised and amazed. I think this is one of Steven’s greatest works that he has done. Here’s why I say this.

The music is gentle but has flowing ripples of musical notes, as if you were staring across a rippling brook flowing gently through a lush meadow. The songs have delicately placed pauses in them, as if they just knew where exactly to be located to give the mind an opportunity to absorb all that it is receiving. The sounds range from more dominant tones to more mellow, with some tones just following one another in single file that is full of dimension, time, and space. The music is so deep and vibrantly full of life and energy that I find myself wanting to immerse myself in it, as if I’m soaking in a relaxing bath. To say this music is amazing is limiting my description by a vocabulary that can not explain the fullness of the sounds, tones, and inflections.

So I put this music to the test using my pulse meter to measure just what impact it would have on me. Using my iPod and noise canceling headphones, I laid on my massage table and just played the music as I closed my eyes. I took my pulse with the pulse meter and it was around 80-85 before I started. After listening all of the way through to the end of the music, I once again took my pulse. My pulse had gone down to around 69-74. It definitely dropped my pulse rate down about 10-15 points and that is an indicator that the “relaxation response” or parasympathetic mode is being reached, which offers the body a chance to heal through rest and repair.

This music is not only beautiful but so relaxing and inviting that I know you’ll want to check it out. I’m sure my clients will enjoy having relaxing massages to this music and I’m sure I will also be using this in my own relaxation and meditation times. This CD, Healing Piano by Steven Cravis, is truly a piece of art and Steven is going to have a difficult time creating work that outdoes this CD, but knowing his creative ability, I’m sure we will see many more great things in the future.

You can learn more about Steven Cravis at:
http://www.stevencravis.com

You can download music by Steven Cravis on:
iTunes

*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Mind OVER Body Power

As a child, I learned early on in a very conscious way how to increase my core body temperature so I could get out of Physical Education (PE) class. I hated PE class for many reasons because most of the sports did not interest me and I was not coordinated enough to do them well. Because of this, I would often be picked last when we had to divide up in teams. Most of my classmates did not want me on their team and they would often yell at me when I missed catching a ball or some other mistake. On top of that, I hated the fact that I had to undress and shower in front of all these other people. There was humiliating reasons that caused embarrassment but for me, it was a very unsafe environment. And so, I would often use my mind consciously to raise my body temperature so that I could go to the nurse and get out of PE. She would of course take my temperature and then declare I was sick and send me home. If they ever caught on to what I was doing, they didn’t say anything and I was smart enough to not do it every time but to only use this when I just could not deal with attending PE class.

For a long time, I never thought anything about it. Then when I got into bodywork and I started to see just how powerful the mind was over the body, I realized that I had actually overridden my normal body controls just with the power of thinking that I wanted my body temperature to increase. It wasn’t like my body temperature went very high but it was just high enough to be outside of the normal body temperature range. Of course I would have to play sick and make it sound to the nurse and my mom that I was truly not feeling good. It had to be convincing or they wouldn’t believe you. It was nothing for me to make my stomach hurt and in fact it hurt most of the time, so that was the convenient symptoms to put with the story. It was believable every time I did it and I didn’t even have to work at it that hard.

Now, another situation has arose where I have seen this in a first hand way. I went to a trade day with some fellow massage therapists. My body was already in a place where I wasn’t sure if I could be touched but I felt safe with these people due to past experiences with them and thought this would be a good thing. Being one of the first ones on the table, I was worked on one by one for a few minutes each by several people. Not giving thought to just how much that was probably not a good thing for me in this moment, I of course obliged the group and received the touch. After all, I didn’t want to upset anyone by not allowing them to work on me. I was stronger than that I thought and I could take this. Why does that not sound good now? I get a chuckle out of what I did not see that day.

So the first person worked on me for a few minutes and it felt good. My body dropped down and I just enjoyed being touched without jumping out of my skin. It was a good feeling. Than the next person came and worked on me and while I proclaimed to them what I needed and wanted and even thanked them at the end, there was a part of me that was wishing the touch would stop. However, I could not bring myself to say NO, please don’t touch me. The third person came along and the same scenario played out. In fact, by the time the third person got done with me, I felt like I had really relaxed and gone out on the table. It was as if time had stopped and I was in a deep place. Most people doing bodywork or receiving bodywork would perceive this state as a good thing. However, in my case, it was anything but good.

When I saw that my pulse had went from the 90’s before the touch began to almost 115 after the table work was over, I was puzzled by this. In my mind, I had relaxed and my body had let go from this light form of touch. Yet, my pulse was showing something completely different. It made no sense at the time. The two perceptions were completely at odds with each other. I didn’t say anything to anyone of course as I didn’t want anyone to think less of me as a result. So I just traveled back home. However, I noticed that as the time went, I became very angry at the people that worked on me. How could they not do better and how could they not do this or that to me? I just didn’t understand.

As I went through the night, the anger was continuous. It grew and grew until I began to question where it was coming from. Here all the time, I had missed the obvious. Much had been kicked up in me emotionally but it had not been allowed to discharge or dissipate. So I was left with everything being kicked up to the surface when in all reality, it needed to be pushed out of my body. Without that part, I could not go into complete relaxation because it is like an overflowing closet in your house. If the closet has too much stuff in it, you can’t put anything else in it until you remove something from the closet or clean it out. Much like our bodies, until you dissipate or remove the excess stuck energy, you can bring in the relaxation and true peace.

In my case though, I was able to numb out completely what was going on and bring my entire body into a state of what appeared to be total relaxation because that was what the objective of the work was. My body did this unconsciously without any thought to what was going on. So even though my body showed all the signs that one would look for, without the pulse meter indicating that my pulse was still in the sympathetic mode, I was not in a place of peace and relaxation.

Just think though how powerful the mind is that it can present one set of conditions to the world and yet inside, it is completely full of chaos. For me, this was my survival technique that helped me make it through some difficult times growing up. Now, however, it is not necessarily something that is a positive reaction in me that I still need to hang on to. Without a feeling of true safeness though, my body is going to automatically revert back to old patterns that are based in fear. Without the pulse meter showing my pulse at 115, I would have never realized this was going on. In fact, I felt so good while lying on the table. My mind and body were not connected together.

I learned firsthand through my own experience, that a feeling of peace and ease was not necessarily the way my body experienced it. And without dissipation, my body can only come down so far. It really changes how I look at myself and how I am able to sense that within myself. Just the realization and awareness of this has caused a major shift within me.

If you’re a body worker or even just someone that wants to become more aware of yourself and monitor your own body, get a pulse meter and see just what is going on. I’ve got a feeling you will be surprised as you learn to work with the pulse. The pulse is a good indicator of what is happening in the body. Even though you might feel like you have the ability to sense and see what is happening, the pulse meter will show you in truth and reality what is going on. The mind and the body may try to trick you but the pulse doesn’t lie.

Body Memory And Trauma - Part 3 of 3

Note: This is Part 3 of 3. Please click here for PART 1, and Part 2 to read this in sequence.


As I write this, I can feel the intense anger, pain, hurt, betrayal and heat in my body. It is as if I want to lash out and hit a punching bag. I want to scream out at this moment and just go, “Stop – I’ve had enough! What part of that don’t you understand?” Yet, the words seem to have no influence or power for me. They seem to be merely sound uttered with no result.

Part of the entire ordeal lately has left me not wanting to be physically close to anyone (not even myself). Imagine going through the roughest moment of your life and then repeating it every day. If you can picture yourself not wanting to be connected with relationships or others, than you’re beginning to get the picture. How I didn’t just give up during this time, I do not understand. This is far more than any person should ever have to face in their life and recover through.

So as the day wore on, I grew tired and the body memories came at me with a full force of vengeance. They would not let up and so I knew I had to find a way to help move through this. I decided to take a bath that night with some sea salt and peppermint essential oil that I had. It just seemed like the thing to do. The warm water felt soothing to me, and so I just soaked in the tub for some time while trying to notice how my breath felt in the water. I could sense my body move in the water as my breath went in and went out. Each inhalation and exhalation was a safe and comforting feeling to me. As I continued to soak in the warm water, I just kept connecting myself to my breath, and I could feel tiny little trembling in my arms as they were submerged. I knew that the trembling was connected to my nervous system discharging stored up energy as it looked for a way out. I stayed with my breath until I was able to extend the inhalations and exhalations, trying to allow the issues I was facing an opportunity to exit. As I stayed with this, I noticed that a lot of the tension in my body had dissipated and there was a greater calmness to my body. At that point, I just felt much more relaxed than I had all day long.

As I went to bed that night, I laid down wondering what the night was going to be like. Up until that point, I had several weeks of very little sleep and the exhaustion was wearing on me very hard. Little did I realize just how powerful my bath had been, for when I laid down to sleep, my eyes went shut easily and I think I slept the entire night without waking up once. It was the first night in many where I actually could sleep.

Waking up the next morning, I still felt somewhat tired but felt more refreshed than I had in quite some time. My body felt more relaxed and a lot less tense. Throughout the day, I noticed that the itching on my skin had dramatically reduced and overall I felt much more at peace. It was then that I realized something had shifted in me. I began to understand at that moment that the Yoga had just pushed the fears and sympathetic nervous system up into arousal, but the bath and breathing had allowed the full pendulation of my nervous system into the parasympathetic mode so that my body could heal itself and nourish itself in the way that it needed to. This was the resolution to what got kicked up in Yoga.

My next Yoga class was with a different instructor that was very low level, and while my body needed the relaxation, I wish it would have been kicked up a little than given more rest. However, the Yoga class did allow me to focus more in on my body and my breath, which of course helped take me deeper into the healing that was going on.

Tonight was my next Yoga class with the main instructor I usually go to. It is a respectful, honoring state of Yoga that we practice. The instructor is good about inviting us to do as much as we can, while listening to our bodies and remembering to breathe. Before Yoga, my resting pulse rate was again in the low to mid 90’s. However after Yoga, I once again used the Finger Pulse Meter to check my pulse and surprisingly it was 54. That is one of the lowest readings I have ever had since I’ve been checking it.

My body feels at peace tonight and not as tense. I can feel the shift and I can feel like maybe it is ok to once again inhabit my body. There are still the body issues and memories that are surfacing but for now, I’ve just chipped a major chunk away from them. The itching and pain is not completely gone but it is not as intense as it has been.

This is the holiday season and it usually pushes things up for me, so I am trying hard to take care of myself and give myself things that will help reregulate my nervous system. While the body issues are still there, they have greatly subsided since that major shift in me. For the first time since they flared up several weeks ago, I feel like maybe it is true, that this too shall pass and that I will once again regain my power over my body. Part of me says that this is still a dream but deep down, I know it is possible and hold that intention along with my courage and strength to continue on through another day.



NOTE: Due to the length of the article, this is the end of Part 3 of 3.





Definitions:
1. Somatoform Disorder/Body Memory: The presence of physical symptoms that suggest there is a underlying medical condition, when in fact the situation cannot be explained. These situations most likely represent an unconscious reaction of psychological situations and show up as a medical condition with or without any physical manifestation.

2. Body Memory (Somatic Memory): Sensations in the body that often link to some portion or aspect of trauma that the individual has been through. Body memories may occur in many ways.

Definition Source: http://www.sidran.org/

Body Memory And Trauma - Part 2 of 3

Note: This is Part 2 of 3. Please click here PART 1, to read this in sequence.


Over the past few weeks, I had been diligent about going to Yoga. I knew that this would help resolve the issues that I was facing. To remember some things that I have recently been taught has helped me to stay grounded in my life. One such concept is Pendulation. Pendulation of the autonomic nervous system between the sympathetic and parasympathetic allows us to communicate through the language of the subconscious. It is through this communication that allows the amygdale (low brain) and the prefrontal cortex (high brain) to resolve their differences. Yoga is one way that does this, by connecting the mind and body through breath and movement to help us become more conscious and aware while giving us the power to heal our bodies. Our bodies know exactly what they need to heal, but often our fears and misperceptions get in the way of allowing them to do as they need to. We are often our own worst enemy. Pendulation of the autonomic nervous system is a natural healing process to our bodies that can be accessed if we know how to go in and do this.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to Yoga even though my body did not feel like it. Life had gotten very intense for me, and I found myself just trying to hang on in spite of all the body memories coming up. That night in Yoga, we went through some pretty intense moves that I had never experienced before. Most of the moves that were involving the hip/pelvic region were extremely difficult, challenging, and almost to the point of being too painful. However, I allowed myself to go as far as I could knowing that if I honored and respected my body as I pushed into the pain, that there would be the possibility of freedom on the other side. I was not expecting miracles or anything spectacular but I was allowing myself the opportunity of staying in the moment.

Before Yoga, I had taken my pulse and saw that it was in the mid to high 90’s, which is high, but lately that is where my pulse seemed to find a resting state. Through the use of the Finger Pulse Oximeter OctiveTech 300PRO, I have been monitoring my pulse in hopes of understanding my body to a greater degree, and helping move myself to a higher state of calmness, awareness, and healing. After this particular Yoga session, I checked my pulse and it was actually at 112. It had gone up instead of coming down, and this was even directly at the end of final relaxation time. I felt the agitation in my body and so it was no surprise to me. I could have panicked but I realize that this is evidence that my autonomic nervous system had been kicked up into arousal (the fear state) and so I just allowed myself to be there. It wasn’t easy, because I was discouraged that it had gone up instead of down, but I knew deep within me how the principles of the nervous system work, and that helped me to just allow myself to stay in this state.

That night, I could barely sleep. I was beyond restless and could not find a way to stay calm or still or even find a moment’s peace. I tossed and turned that entire night as I watched the clock tick by like no other night ever in my life. I have had some pretty rough nights throughout my life, but this one was intense. The body pains would come and go; the itching would get intense and then go away as quickly as it came on this particular night. I tried so hard to shut my eyes, but the fears of a predator trying to hunt me down were as big as the tallest building in the world. It seemed like the room was over a thousand degrees and I wished for more air just to breathe. The darkness seemed like a blanket that was smothering me as the predator continued his hunt. I wanted to hide in the blanket, but the room was too hot. The only thing that I took solace in was that soon it would be morning and the daylight would fill the room. For as I had been finding out, daylight was my friend in order for me to get anything close to the resemblance of sleep. The predator and the fears did not like the daytime hours and the daylight.

Morning came and I finally was able to fall asleep. I felt much safer because the predator had once again hidden. The predator never comes out during the day, but if he is going to show up, it will be at night. I slept as long as I could but soon it became necessary for me to arise and go about my day. The last thing I wanted was to face the world or anyone in any way. I did not even want to face myself. I pretty much hated every part of myself at that moment.



NOTE: Due to the length of the article, this is the end of Part 2. Please come back tomorrow for Part 3.

---

Definitions:
1. Somatoform Disorder/Body Memory: The presence of physical symptoms that suggest there is a underlying medical condition, when in fact the situation cannot be explained. These situations most likely represent an unconscious reaction of psychological situations and show up as a medical condition with or without any physical manifestation.

2. Body Memory (Somatic Memory): Sensations in the body that often link to some portion or aspect of trauma that the individual has been through. Body memories may occur in many ways.

Definition Source: http://www.sidran.org/

Body Memory And Trauma - Part 1 of 3

(For a licensed print ready version, click here)

Over the past several weeks, I have been experiencing “body memories” (somatic memory). This is not the first time I have been through these things and as usual, they are difficult to go through. Anyone that has been through them, knows exactly what I’m talking about. This time, it has been something totally different for me. Most of it involves intense itching all over my skin (itchy skin) and especially in the groin region. Sorry, but that’s as informative as I’m going to be because it isn’t easy to talk about. However, this is not all-the-time itching, but it just happens when you’re least expecting it and when there is no apparent reason for it. It comes and goes almost as quickly as rain starts and stops.

More importantly, there are moments when the pain starts in (not to be confused with the itching) and the pain gets so intense, I just want to cry and scream out. Keep in mind that this is not pain from some injury or other physical abnormality. If you viewed my skin and my body, you would see nothing that would lend itself to these types of reactions. However, they feel as real as if some pain or some condition was being inflicted upon my body in that moment.

These moments have seemed to focus more on the night time hours than the daytime, yet sometimes the time of day makes no difference. Usually, when these times hit, my anxiety level is through the roof and it feels as if it is 1000 degrees in the room, when the temperature is actually on the chilly side. In addition, there is a feeling of despair and anger that accompanies these times that is unexplainable. No, it is not because of the body issues going on, although that adds to it. These are things that seem to appear as entities with their own existence.

I’ve had several nights when I was awakened from a deep sleep with itching that would make me want to remove every body part I could. Fortunately a knife was not in close proximity. The pain would start coming from somewhere deep within me and pushing me to the brink of feeling like I could not take any more. It left me tired from the nights of hardly any sleep while I would struggle to shut my eyes. Even though I was tired, my eyes would almost have to be forced to close so I could sleep. It was as if they were watching out for a predator that was hunting me down.

While this may sound intense, it has gone on for several weeks. At the moment, the duration feels like an eternity. It has pushed me to the point of really wondering whether I wanted to keep going at times. Between the lack of sleep, exhaustion and the physical realities, it seemed as if there was no way through this. Even though I’ve been through body memories in the past, it still does not prepare you for when you come up against new ones. There is nothing that I have found to this point that puts me in control. It is as if this entity must run its course, and I have no say in it.

While I know that these things will pass and that there is more going on which is trying to find a place of resolution, it still takes determination, courage and strength. The body sometimes plays these past events in a continuous flow until it finds an exit route. No matter what, until these things are released from the body in such a way that the past events no longer loop in a continuous circuit, they will continue. That does not mean that we are able to get through these events in some easy fix it event, but that they often take time. Many of these body memories are well rooted and fixed within our bodies, our minds and our consciousness. So to take them on, a small piece of them is sometimes all we can handle at any one given moment. As long as we allow ourselves to go into these things and be with them, we are taking back the power from them and giving ourselves the much needed power we so deserve. It isn’t about just releasing some emotions or bringing emotions up, but it is about chipping away at these body memories one piece at a time. These are the things I remind myself of right now as I progress through these difficult times.



NOTE: Due to the length of the article, this is the end of Part 1. For Part 2 of 3, click here Part 2

---

Definitions:
1. Somatoform Disorder/Body Memory: The presence of physical symptoms that suggest there is a underlying medical condition, when in fact the situation cannot be explained. These situations most likely represent an unconscious reaction of psychological situations and show up as a medical condition with or without any physical manifestation.

2. Body Memory (Somatic Memory): Sensations in the body that often link to some portion or aspect of trauma that the individual has been through. Body memories may occur in many ways.

Definition Source: http://www.sidran.org/

Thanksgiving Stress

Yesterday, I woke up with many things on my to do list that needed to be accomplished. So I started working on them not giving a thought to where my mental and emotional state were. After all, I had just come off of a very peaceful and fabulous weekend, so I thought - things are lookin up!

But as Tuesday wore on, I was in frantic hyper mode trying to get 50 things done at once and growing ever impatient with myself. Without even realizing it, I really did not want to see any other living person around me and so I buried myself in more of my to do lists. It was a vicious cycle and one which has played out before but the thing was, while it was going on, I did not notice it. I did not notice what was flying under the radar hidden from my vantage point.

By the afternoon, I had almost exhausted myself from the stress I was putting myself under. Yet, I did not even realize that I was even doing this. Feeling very tired and worn out, I laid down on my massage table to just let go of everything and rest my eyes. During that time of rest, I began to become aware of what was going on. And then - it dawned on me - Thanksgiving was this week.

Thanksgiving used to be a wonderful time for me as a kid. There was all this food and we often got to travel to my relatives house where everyone enjoyed spending time with each other. Playing pool on the pool table at my uncle's house or just smelling the cooking from the kitchen. Waiting ever so patiently for the meal to be served which always seemed to take longer than expected while the football games would blast from the living room TV. Even if we did not travel on that day and stayed home, it was such a peaceful time, full of memories and we especially got the day to just be inside and maybe watch some TV or sleep in - you know - the stuff kids do. It was such a wonderful time.

Hold on one darn gosh minute! The above "wonderful time for me as a kid" was nothing like what I experienced. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me! Thanksgiving was anything but this. If we had to travel to our relatives house, there was plenty of bitching and squabbling going on and oh the gossip would flow - all in catching up with one another of course and trying to talk about what was best for each family member. Yeah Right - as I roll my eyes a few times! The TV was so darn blasted loud that one could hardly hear anyone talk and maybe for good reason. After a few hours of this, my head would begin pounding because of the noise, the bitching and the squabbling. And since we were going to have a big meal for the day, we would often not get to eat anything until this point. Most of the time, it would be sometime in the mid afternoon before the meal was ready and by that time, I was so hungry, I didn't care what the food tasted like, I just wanted to stuff food in my belly.

And if we did stay home, it wasn't like we got to be kids and sleep in. There was always things to do and work to be done on our stupid little 3 acre ranch! And if my Dad couldn't think up something for us to do, there was always his moment of enjoyment which meant we went out and cut wood in the cold and snow. While he enjoyed it, I could have wanted to find something else to do for just one day of the year. And to not forget this momentous occasion one thanksgiving where my Dad felt we all needed to drink wine. Consider growing up in a home where everything was a sin including drinking wine and yet my father belittled me into trying to get me to drink the wine. The guilt trip he laid on me for exercising my right to say no to this was horrendous.

These were the memories of Thanksgiving that I have. While I would like to think they were the "Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving Memories" and as much as I would like to play like they were, Thanksgiving was anything but this. It was stressful and too many times, I witnessed my mother feeling sick or having a migraine during this day. Too many times, I witnessed my father wielding the rod of child rearing during this time. Too many times, I worked my butt off out in the cold and snow just so we didn't have to be one happy family around each other.

So yesterday, it was no surprise to me when I started to become aware of just how Thanksgiving was impacting me. In the past, I've almost laid a few big tough guys and ladies on the ground in stores because the anger of my own pain had consumed me. I still remember one year trying to pick a fight with two guys that were twice my size and to this day, I'm glad they just walked on and ignored me. It is amazing what the unresolved pain and hurt can do to a person. I'm also aware that so many others go through similar reactions like I do when it comes to the holidays.

While so much has improved for me, the stress of this time builds up. I've worked on building my own memories and while that does help, the pain of the past is still there as a foundation to my life. You can often do things to forget, but it doesn't mean everything ceases to exist.

Fortunately yesterday, I was smart enough to go to Yoga. When I got to the fitness center, my resting pulse was around 112 which is very high and even high for me. I did the Yoga and took my pulse reading again with the Finger Pulse Oximeter and my pulse had come down around 92. While that is still high, it had dropped 20 points. This morning when I woke up, my pulse was actually down to 68.

I'm glad I did Yoga because it helped reset and reregulate my autonomic nervous system. When we are out of balance and in the sympathetic mode of our nervous system, it is not uncommon for our pulse to be very high. If we can find a way to reset our body's nervous system and get back into parasympathetic mode, our pulse should come down. Yoga is just one way to help with this but the way I have found which works very well and very quickly is through the practice of Unified Therapy. I've seen my pulse rate drop from the high 90's down to the high 50's in just a matter of an hour on the table with Unified Therapy. Yoga is a good complement to this particular work and helps to maintain the work on the table. It is through the breathing and mindful connection of the body that we are able to make physical changes within our bodies.

If you are like me and struggle through the stress of Thanksgiving, I want you to know you're not alone. I've been there, done that and have far too many tshirts to show for it. If you can find things to do on that day that help ease your pain, do them! Don't feel like you have to do what society says you must do on this day just to appease people! Take care of yourself and give yourself the good memories and good experiences you deserve. Finding ways to help others can often be a good source of a soothing balm to help comfort your own pain.

And if you're one that has had happy memories, my hat is off to you. Consider sharing that with others who don't have those memories and being understanding of those that struggle through these times. Just thinking happy thoughts or whatever advice you may have just might not necessarily help the people who deal with intense pain during this time. Allowing them to just be in whatever way they need to and letting them know that they aren't alone, can be one of the greatest blessings you could give to those in pain. It might not seem like much to them but believe me, those thoughts given with the purest of love is a great and wonderful gift.

I'm happy that I was able to spot the stress beginning to show itself in my life like I did this year. In years past, it would have just completely pulled me under. While it is still difficult to some degree, I do try to do things that help take care of myself. The pain is not as difficult as it once was but it is still there.

So I'll end this on a happy note that I am thankful for how far I've come, that I survived this far into my life and that I'm beginning to really separate the joy from the pain of my past. I'm also thankful that I am able to write about this so others out there maybe won't feel so all alone on holidays such as this. May we all reflect on all that we have, not what we feel we don't have and may we all be extra sensitive to those who are still struggling to see this.

My Pulse Is Too High - FOLLOW UP

This is a follow up post to previous entries that I wrote about.

• My Pulse Is Too High
• Finger Pulse Oximeter

Since I last wrote this blog entry "My Pulse Is Too High" on Oct 19, 2009, I have had much improvement on my pulse rate. Instead of being in the high 90's at a resting state, I have actually come down to the 80's.

The things I have been doing include Yoga, mediation and relaxation along with a technique called the "Enteric Brain". I have been monitoring my pulse with the Finger Pulse Oximeter pictured above. This has helped me to truly know and understand what is going on within myself.

In addition, I had a session with Dr. Canali and attended the latest workshops. As usual there was a lot that came up but during this session and workshop, I began to go into the fear and emotions that were coming up instead of letting them over take me. The last time I was worked on during the workshop, I could really feel my body come down into a deeper sense of calmness and so we checked my pulse. Sure enough it was down in the 50's which is as low as I've seen it for some time. A day after this, it is still in the 70's so I'm on the right track. I'm sure it will fluctuate but as I'm seeing, there is a lot that we can do to control this.

Never in my life did I realize my pulse was so high on a daily basis until the Oximeter came along. I'm sure doctors and nurses probably recorded a high pulse rate all these years but since I get so nervous in a doctor's office setting, they probably just chalked it up to anxiety and tension. I never once heard a doctor address this with me which I find strange. Here I've been walking around with a ticking time bomb in me and if I would have let this continue, who knows when my number life would have been called.

More importantly though through re-regulation of the autonomic nervous system with Dr. Canali, I can see that it is possible to drop my pulse rate. What is nice also, is that I did not even need medication to reduce my pulse rate. Just think of the energy that has been robbed of me as my heart is beating so fast and hard. What if I am able to reclaim that wasted energy in myself and use it for positive things instead of being tired and worn out all the time. This is life changing for me. Maybe now, I've added a few years to my life.

Finger Pulse Oximeter OctiveTech 300PRO

Please note:  I had been using the Finger Pulse Oximeter from Clinical Guard, but due to their insufficiency in customer service, I have since found a different Finger Pulse Oximeter that I believe is comparable and works just as well.  It is on Amazon and at a much lower price.  Check it out on Amazon.




I am leaving the following part of this original post up so that the information is still available.

I just ordered one of these today. This is the pulse meter that Dr. Paul Canali has introduced me and many others to in order to help give real time information as to what is going on with the nervous system. It is very revealing and tells exactly what is happened especially if the nervous system is in dysregulation.

For me, I've recently found out that my resting pulse rate is at 99 which is very high. Most likely it has been this way for much of my life or so I am assuming. I have ordered this so I can help monitor my pulse rate and begin to work on getting it lowered. I also intend on using it with my clients to help not only myself but my clients understand what is going on. When fear is kicking up, it can make us think biological things are happening within our body when in fact, it may not be the case. The good news is that even though my pulse rate was at 99, I saw through some work on the table that Dr. Canali was able to drop mine to the high 60's. So, I know it is possible to do this and just have to work with my body to accomplish this.

I'm anxious to get this in the mail so I can begin understanding more of what is going on inside my body and realizing that there are many things that can be done through the nervous system to change them.

My Pulse Is Too High

The past couple of weeks that I’ve been finally going to the fitness center, I noticed that when I got on the treadmill, it checked my pulse and it said 99 or 100 or somewhere around there (sometimes higher). I would exercise and it would go up to maybe 115. Of course, I’ve never had problems with my pulse rate or heart rate/blood pressure that I know of. To be honest, I wasn’t even aware of what the normal pulse rate should be although I’ve most likely learned this in school a few times. I had a sense that something was off in me but could not tell what that was. I did not give it any more thought.

We went to Dr. Canali for a session and I had a big release and a lot going on. It was a very difficult session including my legs going completely out on me and my voice was to the point where I could barely utter a word. The fears get pretty strong for me just to be in this state and even though I know there is some mind/body connection to the nervous system, it is still difficult to go through.

On Saturday (day 1 of the weekend seminar), I again went into a very deep place with so much going on. In fact, I felt as if I was in a dark tunnel during the session hardly recognizing that anyone else was in the room. I wanted to jump up and run away from the table, the room and everyone there. I did not want to connect with the implicit memory. Implicit memory is remembering something without being aware that you are remembering it. I had the support of a few people trying to help me but I was so frightened and so afraid that it was all they could do to keep me in my body. Finally the only word I could get out was “Paul” because deep within me, I knew that I trusted him to bring me back from where I was. When I told him “I Can Not Speak”, which was hard to get out, he responded, “you feel like you cannot speak”. It shifted my thinking from being hopeless to the possibility that I had the power to change this. That along with the next statement where he reminded that what I was experiencing at this moment was not happening now. Although it felt very scary, I was ok. Those two things shifted everything in me and I came back from the deep dark place I was.

The tears were plentiful after that and I felt almost disoriented in the room as I tried to come back. That night, I felt like I wanted to cry the entire night and there was an overwhelming sadness that permeated every cell of my body. I felt like I wanted to hide, withdraw and just find a cave to hide in. Sleep was not easy that night and arriving at the seminar on Sunday, I just felt like if someone looked at me wrong, I was going to cry forever. Fortunately, I started hearing others talk about how rough they were feeling and so I did not feel as alone. I realized through the sharing of others, that this was part of the process that was unfolding. As I realized this, I knew that I did not have to fear this part of the process.

Back to the pulse rate for a moment. We took my pulse rate with the Finger Pulse Oximeter Dr. Canali has and it was around the 99 rate again. Even with all the release and stuff that I had gone through, it was still high and had not come down to a resting state. There was still to much charge in my autonomic nervous system that needed to be released. It was frightening to me, to see that my pulse was not coming down but Dr. Canali told me that we would get it down.

Sunday, was a time we did more work and Dr. Canali used me to demonstrate things on others. This time, he would take me just a little ways into something and then back off because my nervous system did not need to be overloaded at that point. This was done multiple times and in very short time spans. We got to the point of working on the Enteric brain and that’s where things changed. Up until that point, my back and shoulders had been pretty painful. Dr. Canali put the pulse meter on me and sure enough the pulse was high. He demonstrated and took me through the enteric brain stuff where it released a little. The pulse rate was still somewhat high and I was still feeling a lot of discomfort there. So again, he worked with that spot with the help of others in the room. There was a much bigger release at this point which then allowed my body to go into a deeper state of peace and healing. I could feel it in my body because the pain in my back and shoulders dissipated and my breathing seemed to be more relaxed than it had been for some time. He checked the pulse meter and indeed, it had dropped to a more normal resting state.

I’m not sure how long my pulse had been high but I know it had been up there for at least two weeks, if not longer. Something in me just helped urge me that something was off. Now I know where the pulse should be. More importantly, I know that if it gets high, it means my autonomic nervous system is in dysregulation but that through the work I’m learning, there is a way to reregulate the nervous system. This is not something that is pie in the sky voo doo magic but it is real and a very natural innate part of our human bodies.

When the autonomic nervous system is out of balance, it often shows up through chronic pain, health and mental conditions among many other things. The good news is that it can be reregulated without drugs and many of the things that we consider as health care today. The problem is, that no one has been taught about these things and the collective consciousness of our country does not really allow us to be aware of these things. If I had not experienced these things first hand and seen the same things happen in others, I might not believe it either. However, these things have been demonstrated to me in my own life and that is something I cannot deny.