Massage Highlighted Issues In The Tissues

Ouch... those kinks in the tissues are saying "ouch!"  Yesterday, I went to one of the oriental massage places in the mall.  Normally I don't go for bodywork that is deep and hard, but sometimes it is what I need.  While I realized that I needed some bodywork, I didn't quite know that there were as many issues in my tissues.

I'm not really trying to make fun of it, but as he was working on me yesterday, I was like - oh my, I didn't know that pain was there.  As he kept moving from spot to spot, I kept finding places that were not happy and were feeling quite grouchy.

It is interesting that until we stop and notice, most of the time we don't even know we have pains and aches where they show up.  We are quite oblivious to them.  Yet, when we stop and focus on them, there they are in their shining glory to see.  Even if you want to ignore them, they would still be there.

Afterwards, I felt like I could go sleep for a day.  Unfortunately there were other things I had to get done, otherwise I would have curled up on the couch for a nice long nap.  Later in the day I did managed to get a nap in but I noticed that the pains had come on full force.

The pains continued to grow in my neck and shoulders which then started the headaches to start appearing.  I had to break down and take an Aleve just to reduce the pain level a little.  It was either that or I would not be able to sleep through the night.

Today, I feel better.  The pains have lessened but are still present.  I know if I just surrender to them and not latch on to each thing, I can let it go.  It is stuff from the issues in my tissues that needs to work out.

We all have issues in our tissues.  I picked that line up from a fellow massage therapist one time when we were doing chair massage.  The issues in the tissues bring out pains and all kinds of physical abnormalities.  If we ignore and neglect them, they may hide in there for awhile unnoticed, but sooner or later they will find a way to get our attention.

Everyone should have regular bodywork done on them, but for some reason people see it as a once a year luxury rather than a healthy maintenance thing they should do.  Even if you have regular work done, you'll still experience issues in the tissues.  The only difference is that you will work through them much quicker and they will not completely take over your physical life with serious health and pain complications.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Reclaiming Healthy Touch After Trauma

While this was a term paper I wrote for school many years ago, I think it is still relevant today.  Yes, I have learned a great deal since that time, but the information is still solid.  The term paper was on reclaiming healthy touch after trauma.

In the paper, I discuss various considerations and aspects of working with someone that has been traumatized through abuse, rape, or other means.  There is discussion about how different forms of bodywork can be helpful and more details about each one.

Why reclaiming healthy touch is important is the beginning of the paper and it also touches on the subject of how trauma affects the brain.  Looking for the evidence of trauma in the body is also a major consideration because if you don't know what you are looking for, it will pass right before your eyes.  You will not even see it.

With all survivors of trauma, there are special considerations that you should be aware of  in working with them, but by all means this is not an exhaustive list.

I still remember my first time working as a volunteer at a domestic violence resource center.  We were doing full body massage on the participants.  One individual came in and got under the sheets while staying fully clothed.  There was no way that this trauma survivor could allow me to work on them without their clothes on.  I learned that day, that you can touch someone with their clothes on and have profound effects.

It helps that I too was a trauma survivor.  It is easier for me to understand what a trauma survivor is going through when I know firsthand in my own body how that feels.  My body did not always like to be touched and it took someone with healthy and safe boundaries to break past this.  I know first hand how difficult it can be to reclaim healthy touch.

For the full paper, click on the following links.  I have broke it up into sections so it is easier to read and navigate.

Reclaiming Healthy Touch 

1. Introduction
2. Why Reclaiming Healthy Touch Matters
3. How Does Trauma Affect The Brain
4. Evidence Of Trauma In The Body
5. Special Considerations Reclaiming Healthy Touch
6. Full Body Massage And Trauma Survivors
7. Other Forms Of Body Work Helpful To Trauma Survivors
8. Reclaiming Healthy Touch In My Life
9. Sources And Additional Resources

If you would like to read more about my story and how I healed my life from trauma which involved conversion disorder and paralysis, my book can be found on Amazon.  It is called Hope And Possibility Through Trauma by Don Shetterly.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Setting Boundaries In Massage

When you work for yourself, there is one issue that will most definitely rise to the surface.  The issue is setting boundaries.  When you work in an office from 8 am to 5 pm, it is easy for people to know that they should come and see you or call you at that time.  When you work from home or for yourself, those boundaries get blurred easily.

In these days, we are connected via social media, cell phones, and email.  It isn't easy to unplug and stop.  We are all just too available in this world.  It is part of the world we live in and setting boundaries becomes very difficult.

For my business that I run out of my home and my office, I had to get a second phone.  This way, I can shut it off and turn it on at my set office hours.  I realize people will still try to call me and think I should be on the phone all hours of the day and night, but that will drive you crazy.

Oil Changes In Life

We do it for our cars.  Yet we don't do it for ourselves.  You know - those much needed oil changes in life.  No, I don't mean taking a shower.  I mean, clearing the gunk out of your body.

Someone may think I'm referring to a nutritional cleanse and that's really not what I'm talking about here.  I'm talking about clearing the gunk out of your mind-body connection.

Every day of our life we accumulate stuff like stress, experiences, sights, sounds and smell among other things.  Every day we keep storing this stuff up in our cells, tissues, muscles and organs.  As we store the stuff up, our mind-body connection is diminished.

In addition, if you are like most people, you have had experiences that have put markers in your mind and body.  Take for instance trauma.  When we go through trauma, it changes the outlook of our mind and body.

Don't think that trauma has to be some over the top situation either.  It can be the same as a daily build up of stress. In fact, the daily build up of stress is really no different to the body than a one time traumatic moment.  It all impacts the body in the same basic ways.

Terrified Of Body Contact

It wasn't that long ago that I struggled with being close to other people.   I wanted touch so badly from others, but I was terrified of it.  I knew my body had been violated, but I never pieced it together in those moments.  I was so very terrified of body contact.

I kept people at a distance from me.  I didn't let people touch my back, touch my arms or anything else.  The touch was terrifying.  It would make my skin crawl as if ants were walking up and down my body.  It would make me nauseous.  It would make me angry.  I would feel helpless and almost like I was being abused and raped and violated all over again.

People often think that unsolicited hugs are a good thing.  To someone that hasn't been violated sexually and physically, they most likely are.  However, in my case, they are not.  You had better be someone I completely trust and feel safe with or you will be giving me the heebie-jeebies.  You had better ask permission or I will be left feeling like you had just physically assaulted and tortured me.  There are few people who can readily hug me and I feel safe and warm and loved.  Even for the people I feel safe with, they know to check in with me before just attempting to hug me.

Florida Massage Background Check And FingerPrinting

If you are a massage therapist licensed in Florida, you need to be aware of changes to the law that was passed in 2014 by the Florida Legislature.  These affect everyone and require action on your part before January 31, 2015.  I was not aware of these and please pass this on to others.  I hate to see anyone caught by this.

Effective on July 1, 2014 any massage therapist licensed in Florida or any person with a Massage Establishment license must undergo a criminal background screening and fingerprinting before January 31, 2015.  All new applicants for a massage license or massage establishment must undergo the same.

It appears that the intent behind this law is to stop or slow down human sex trafficking through the massage industry.   While this is a noble cause and I applaud the efforts, I do question if the people who are committing these atrocities will actually be following the massage laws.  It feels in many ways that it is only going to affect those of us who already operate within the law.  Maybe I'm wrong, and please feel free to point my errors out to me on this.  I'm just not one that enjoys the government making this harder for those of us who already follow the law.  The Florida legislature has shown over the past few years just how unfriendly they are towards our industry.

Immature View Of Massage

Why am I not surprised?  I mean, this happens all the time and this particular example isn't an exception to the norm it seems.  The immature view of massage is displayed all too often by all too many people.  I'm not sure if people that do this are just immature or ignorant or a combination of the two.

Immature views of massage hurt the massage profession.  In fact in Florida, we now have to get a background check and finger prints just to do massage.  While I realize that is to help stop human and sex trafficking, these attitudes displayed in this picture above and the comments on the post for it, don't help.

Imagine if I asked you what your job profession was and then I began to make sick jokes about it.  Let's say that if you are in business, I automatically assume you're a thief and you steal money from people because some have done that.  Or let's say that you're a teacher and I automatically assume that you try to have relationships with your kids.  How absurd would that be.  Let's say you're a food service industry worker such as a waiter and I make the unfounded claim that you're too lazy to get a real job.  None of these statements would be remotely true and would be very hurtful if they were lobbied at you constantly.  Don't worry, I don't believe this way, but I was using these as examples only!  I know they are not true.

Human Trafficking

Source:  Elite Continuing Education
Home Study Course
Human Trafficking

While I don't like to see anyone taken advantage of in this world, what I read as part of a home study course today for continuing education woke me up to something of which I really was not aware.  In fact, many people probably go through a day not even thinking about human trafficking, but yet it is a very widespread problem and is most likely taking place right before our eyes.

Human trafficking is one of the fastest growing criminal industries throughout the world.  In fact, it is estimated to be a 32 billion dollar industry with 27 million people being enslaved in the world today.  While law enforcement  is working to try and stop the flow of victims into the US, it takes all of us to be aware and assist to help stop this.

I was completely surprised that almost 300,000 children are sexually exploited in the US.  Around 17,000 victims are trafficked into the US with about 800,000 trafficked in the world each year.  In my mind, one is too many, but think about the number of people for a moment.  It is a far bigger problem than most of us realize or even may want to admit.

Some of the places where sex trafficking can be found include prostitution, exotic dancing, pornography, live cyber-sex sites, sexual services through massage parlors, truck stops and escort services.  I have heard so many men especially talk about massage in such a way that is degrading and this is part of the problem.  The minute you say you do massage, the first thing many men will say is a statement that is sexual in nature.  It is like some of these individuals in our society can not see the difference between massage and sexual activity, and to me they are part of the problem with their primitive mindsets.  True healthy massage has nothing to do with sex and if you are part of that situation, than please learn what it means to be a man, woman, or human, not just a brain dead animal.

Beware Of Massage Email Scams

The other day I saw something that got my attention in my inbox.  Yes, I know we all get scam emails, but this email was directed towards massage therapists and it almost seemed real.  Even though I know to beware of email scams, this particular one seemed almost believable.   Once I started to look at it closer though, I could see a couple of things.

In what appears to be this massage email scam, they write to an unsuspecting massage therapist acting as if they are trying to set up a series of massage appointments for some wealthy celebrity or model.  As you read it, you kind of feel special that someone would be contacting you and of course dollar signs begin to go off in your head.  They sound all friendly, nice, and anxious to get this lined up with you, but if you fall for this, I'm sure you won't be very happy because by all accounts it appears to be one big scam. I cannot say with 100% certainty that it is a scam, but many factors point to this and so the best word of advice is to beware!

First of all, the reply address is a completely different address than the one the email came from.  Red flags should automatically go up all over the place in this scenario.  There is no legitimate reason to have one email address that this is sent to, but a reply address that is different.  It is not considered to be standard business practice. 

Gliding Massage Touch

Time and time again, I have seen massage therapists that don't connect with their own touch.  They don't seem to be aware of just what their touch does to a body.  Way back in massage school, I remember trying to help educate an upperclassman to what their touch felt like when they began a massage on me.

You see, the way in which you touch someone makes all the difference.  In the specific circumstance that I am referring to, it is that first touch or that gliding stroke down a back or other body part.  Let me see if I can describe this further.

For instance, you have the person lying face down on a massage table with their back exposed.  You have the oil on your hands and you are ready to touch them by doing a gliding stroke down their back.  It sounds wonderful doesn't it?  It sounds like just the thing anyone would like.  Unfortunately, all too often instead of gliding down on their body as a plane would make a smooth landing at an airport, it is like they drop a bomb on the persons back with their touch.  Then, they start the gliding process.

Take A Massage Time Out

So many of us go through our day, packing in one event after another.  We spend very little time giving our body as well as our mind the time and respect it deserves.  We push ourselves beyond our limits.  Somehow, we view our life as that of being strong by pushing ourselves harder and harder.  In all reality, we need to just take a massage time out.

Yes, we all know that massages generally feel good and they help us relax.  Some of us in this world even spend regular time getting body work.  However, many people feel that massages are something you only do once or twice in your life time.  Some people feel that it is just something special you treat yourself with on a vacation.  Unfortunately to take a massage time out in life is much more than something you do once in a blue moon.  It has great health benefits.

If you have read articles in the newspapers or magazines, you most likely know many of the health benefits.  However, there is a disconnect when it comes to what people read and hear, and what sinks into the mind.  Massages not only help you feel good and relaxed, but they help improve the circulation of the body and move toxins out.  They help get rid of stress and tension, and help you connect more deeply with your body.  The more you connect with your body, the more aware you become and it helps you see life differently.

Florida Senate PIP Reform Excluding Massage And Acupuncture

If you have been following my blog, you will know that I keep politics out of this blog.  I feel there are many political things on the internet and I do not need to add to the screaming.  However, in this case, a bill coming before the Florida Senate (SB 1860) will severely impact the life and business of those who are licensed massage therapists and acupuncturists.

There are many thousands of massage therapists and acupuncturists in the state of Florida. I realize that if you don't live in Florida, this does not apply to you.  Nevertheless, I think some of this information needs to see the light of day.  Please feel free to pass this on, so hopefully the Senate will listen to those in this profession.

Simple Touch - Less Is More

In the Trager(TM) Approach, less is more. While this may sound too simple, it is at the heart of this bodywork. I remember one experience while in some training to learn the Trager Approach.

During this training week, my body was at a point where it did not want to be touched, moved, or rocked in any way. There are times when my body is this way and to attempt these things is only going to irritate it. In fact, often it drives my body further toward defiance, rather then acceptance.

Without me knowing what was going on, the instructor told the other student working on me, to just put their hands on me and not move. They were just to think about moving.

When I got off the table, I thought the student had been gently moving my legs the entire time. I was very surprised when I found out what the instructor had asked this person to do with me. While no movement had taken place, it felt like I was held and moved the entire time in a very supportive way.

Relaxing Ocean Wave Sounds For Sleep, Massage, Relaxation, Healing, Spa

Imagine it is a warm sunny afternoon on the beach, with the sun shining down and a light ocean breeze blowing against you. At random times, birds go flying by as if they are effortlessly drifting along. As you relax on a beach towel, listen to the waves come in and go out, as the rhythm lulls you into a deep relaxed and meditative state. Spend some time and wake up feeling refreshed, renewed, and at peace within yourself.

Relaxing Ocean Wave Sounds is a CD of ocean waves that was recorded at Canaveral National Seashore in New Smyrna Beach, Florida. It was recorded on the summer solstice at morning low tide (June 21, 2011).

The CD has very dynamic and full ocean wave sounds that will lull you to sleep, help you relax, meditate, or are just ideal for massage, the spa or any other relaxing and healing environment you wish to create.

Available now on iTunes, Rhapsody and Napster and Amazon.

The CD is 69 minutes in length (a 1 track single) and can be purchased on itunes for $1.99 or Rhapsody, Napster and Amazon for 99 cents.

It is available for mp3 download on these sites and the physical CD on Amazon will be coming soon.

I hope everyone enjoys the CD and I look forward to seeing the reviews online at the various download sites.

CD Title: Relaxing Ocean Wave Sounds For Sleep, Massage, Relaxation, Healing, Spa
UPC: 859706360099
Artist: Don Shetterly

For More Information
http://www.donshetterly.com

Nervous System Resiliency

One of the things that I am learning firsthand is how resilient our nervous system in the course of our day. Many of the things that I write about here are ones that I have been introduced to and then I learn about them by living through experiences that become my teacher.

It is not just concepts that are told to me and I continue the story. They are very real lessons that I experience firsthand within my body. When you can experience something within the body and feel the connection within, then there is no doubt that it is a real, truth altering experience.

For a long time I felt overwhelmed in life where I could not seem to get my balance as the winds of various events would come along and knock me off balance. It never seemed like I would get past many things in my life because I always felt overwhelmed. Then one experience in particular that I had on the table with Dr. Paul Canali brought this home in a very real and vivid way.

In this particular session, I came up against some of the root energy where very real and intense anger perpetuates and grows within me. As I pushed through this, my body felt physically awful for several hours but then as the energy of the release began to balance itself, I noticed a major change within my body. For the first time, I noticed a peacefulness and calmness that I had never felt before. It is more than difficult to describe here but it was real and I knew it wasn't just a temporary peace or calmness. It was a life changing moment.

As events of the following week transpired, I noticed that most of these were just rolling off my back. Yes, some of them were pretty intense and I was not ignoring the feeling of them but they were just coming in and almost like bouncing through me. It is then that I came to understand just how resilient our nervous system is meant to be and if treated properly, it can perform in ways that we may not be able to imagine.

For months, I did not think about this entire scenario until I recently went through a very stressful week. In that week, I noticed something about myself and how I was dealing with the stress. While the stress was intense and difficult to be part of, I noticed that much of it was just bouncing right through me. I'm not going to tell you that it was an easy week but without this happening within myself, it would have been much more difficult.

Please don't misunderstand me here because I'm not talking about "thinking happy thoughts" here either as many tend to do. This is about going deep within and connecting to the grounded part of your cells, your body and your mind. It is about having the nervous system at a healthy point that it can absorb these things and let them go. It isn't about avoiding any of the feelings or affects of the stress but feeling all of it and just swimming through it as if you were swimming in a pool.

Of course, most humans go through life in a hurried fashion barely ever taking time to take care of the body, oblivious to the fact that this is taking place. We like to self medicate ourselves with things that keep us from living in reality and keep us from getting to truly know ourselves in an intimate way.

All too often, I've heard many people tell me that they don't have time to get a massage or relax or to take a vacation. In this day of electronics, people cannot even get away from their jobs for a minute. We keep ourselves and our nervous systems in a heightened state of arousal and stress but yet we expect our bodies to hit peak performance.

We go through life dabbling in this or that new age therapy or we turn to religion, doctors and our families to help us exist in our day. However, none of these things will help you deal with the stress in your life unless you go in and stand up to the fear and the ego within your body and your mind. You can fool yourself all day long into thinking that various things are helping you and they may be temporarily, but if you really want to leap upon the mountains, you need to journey within yourself.

The nervous system is meant to act like a rubber band where if you pull it and stretch it, when let go, it should go back to its original shape. However if you stretch it beyond those limits time and time again, you may alter the shape of it. If you stretch it beyond what it is capable of, then there will be a break. The body acts in much the same way.

If we as a society really wanted to improve the overall health of our world, we would be focusing upon learning how the nervous system works and how we impact it every day of our life. We would focus upon learning how to reclaim it and harness the power that we hold within our bodies and our minds. The nervous system should be our friend but much of the time in our world, we barely even notice its existence.




Blog Post & Images (c) 2/20/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com




Photo by NASA/courtesy of nasaimages.org

Sexual Abuse Effects Lessened by Massage

According to a study done at the Touch Research Institute with Dr. Tiffany Fields, women who had experienced sexual abuse found the effects were lessened by massage therapy. In 1996, a study involving 20 women with an average age of 35 years, were given a 30 minute massage twice a week for one month.

Immediately after the massage, the participants reported being less depressed, less anxious and their salivary cortisol levels decreased. Over the one month duration of receiving massage, the participants reported a decrease in depression and life event stress. Although the relaxation therapy control group also reported a decrease in anxiety and depression, their stress hormones did not change, and they reported an increasingly negative attitude towards touch.

Being an abuse survivor myself, I do recognize just how difficult it is to begin receiving massage work. The very first time that I tried to have a massage was on a cruise ship and I actually thought it was all about sex as many people tend to think it is. When I realized that it was not about sex and that it actually felt good to be touched, I experienced a degree of relaxation that I had not felt before.

Even with the good experience of getting the first massage, my mind always saw massage as a trigger back to past experiences that were not favorable. Even though my body was very tense, my muscles were tight and painful and my life was filled with stress, massage was not an option. I did not feel safe around anyone that was doing it and tended to discount any thought of getting a massage. I completely understand when other survivors are afraid to be touched.

My next attempt at massage started out better but by the end of the third massage, I got triggered badly. It wasn't anything the therapist was doing but unfortunately they weren't able to realize I had been triggered and so I laid there receiving the massage while being completely out of my body and not present. I never went back to the therapist and did not go back to a massage for a long time.

It wasn't until I started to think about going to massage school (of all places for me to go) that I went in and had another massage. This time, a guy was doing it and was actually one of these that applies a lot of pressure. I really didn't feel much of it. It took many months of being in massage school where I began to truly feel touch.

Since that time, I have made tremendous strides through healing and accepting touch within my own body through the Trager (TM) approach and through Unified Therapy with Dr. Paul Canali. Both have helped me release some of the trauma I went through and now my body does like to be touched. I am cautious though in who I allow to touch me but when I do get body work done on me, it is a good feeling now.

I am happy to see research being done on the area of healing, touch and massage therapy. The Touch Research Institute is a great place that is doing some tremendous research in this area. I also want to be a catalyst in helping other abuse survivors realize that touch can be a good thing even if you think there is no way on earth you can do bodywork. I've learned a form of bodywork that is not regular massage but it meets you where ever you are at and works from that point forward.


Abstract For The article cited above

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SEXUAL ABUSE

Field, T., Hernandez-Reif, M., Hart, S., Quintino, O., Drose, L., Field, T., Kuhn, C., & Schanberg, S (1997). Effects of sexual abuse are lessened by massage therapy. Journal of Bodywork and Movement Therapies, 1, 65-69.

Women who had experienced sexual abuse were given a 30-minute massage twice a week for 1 month. Immediately after the massage the women reported being less depressed and less anxious and their salivary cortisol levels decreased following the session. Over the 1-month treatment period the massage therapy group experienced a decrease in depression and in life event stress. Although the relaxation therapy control group also reported a decrease in anxiety and depression, their stress hormones did not change, and they reported an increasingly negative attitude toward touch.


For More Information:
1) Journal Of Bodywork Article about sexual abuse and massage
2) Touch Research Institute with Dr. Tiffany Fields, Univ of Miami
3) The Trager (TM) Approach
4) Dr. Paul Canali and Unified Therapy
5) Healing bodywork with Don Shetterly

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Blog Post & Images (c) 1/20/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only

In Memory Of What My Mom Gave Me

On January 4, 2002, I lost my mom in a traffic accident. That day would becoming a marking point of not only a significant amount for me to emotionally deal with but it would be a significant day of change in my life. From that point forward, so much changed for me in my life for the positive.

As a result of that day, I changed directions in my life and went to massage school. In addition to that, I recorded and released my first CD, "Dancing With Life' which was a tribute to the healing that I experienced at the result of losing my mom.

Of course the family issues are still there which I doubt will ever be easily solved. And at this point in my life, I have made it so far into moving past these things that I no longer worry much about the hope for resolution. It is hard to get people to go in and look at things they don't want to look at. Like I said - I'm at a point where I no longer hold that as my issue. It is more important for me to heal my life and become all that I can be.

As I reflect back though on my mom's life, I realize just all that she had to endure. She always seemed to make the most of a bad situation and always tried to put on the happy face. However, in order for her to do that she had to hide all the hell that was taking place.

I've blocked out many things in my life and had to do this in order to survive. Some of the extreme horrors that I faced early on in life were ones I'm not sure my mom truly knew about. In our house, there were many secrets. In our house, no one talked about those secrets. I have only one letter from my mom suggesting that she was aware of some "skeletons" in the closet but that's about all I know.

Thinking about her death brings many of these things front and center for me. There were so many questions I wanted to ask her but never got the opportunity to do that. I miss her greatly at times but I do know that I can talk to her at any time. It just isn't the same without her.

If you would like to see the memorial page that I put up for my mom after she died, you can go to the following website page (click here) . It has remained up on the internet every year since that time.

After my mom's death, I did not know if I could make it or if I could go on another day. However, I found out once again in life that even with all that I have been through, there is hope and possibility that life will go on!









No matter what, she will always be part of my life.



Blog Post & Images (c) 12/5/10 Don Shetterly - use by permission only

Triggers Are Everywhere

Triggers can get us at any time, place, moment or in any circumstance or with any person. There is no discrimination by triggers. Often when you least expect them, they rise up and smack you hard in life.

Recently I was in a workshop and got triggered so hard, the shame and pain of the trigger almost pulled me under. Fortunately, I was able to deal with it in a positive way because life was spiraling out of control very quickly. To read more, check out the blog post Healing The Triggers Of Life.

Another example was that I had gone to a Toastmasters meeting to check them out and possibly join. Toastmasters goal is to help you learn how to speak in public more effectively. The first meeting went okay with one individual significantly pushing the boundaries but I shrugged it off.

On my second visit, there was a person giving a speech who thought it was appropriate to give a sermon about God as her speech. The evaluator for her speech of course loved it because as he said, "I am a pastor (minster of a church)!" I felt violated and triggered. Later I found out that topics such as religion and politics are not appropriate for these meetings as they are not meant to make people uncomfortable. The purpose is to help people give speeches, not deal with hot button issues.

For me, going into stores during the holiday season and seeing people buy gifts for Christmas is extremely triggering. It brings me back to some very painful gift exchanges at Christmas in my early years.

Just to be in a store where it is crowded or where they have aisles filled with merchandise to restock the shelves like in Walmart, is triggering. I get claustrophobic easily and if aisles are blocked, I panic that I am trapped and cannot get out.

People (especially strangers) bumping into me are extremely triggering to me. At one time to be touched by anyone was so frightful. I have really come a long ways in this. Still, I am very guarded when I am out in public. It is hard for me to trust anyone.

Recently, I had a friend come down to visit and was triggered unexpectedly and hard when the friend left without saying goodbye. I remember the traumatic moments around my older brother getting up early, slipping out the door and driving away. No goodbye had been said and no one realized he had packed all his belongings into his car, the night before. The only way we knew he was gone was when we heard his car start as he coasted out the driveway.

Who could blame my older brother for his escape? While I had to play counselor and console my parents, I was both angry and jealous of him for leaving. I was just a teenager held captive in life that was brutally traumatic. What amazed me though was how strongly I was triggered back to these events and just how much pain surfaced as a result.

Other times in bodywork and massage, I've been strongly triggered in the role of being a massage therapist. I have had people overtly and covertly try to solicit sex from me as part of the massage. Some of it has been more of a sense and feeling than anything but each time it happens, it triggers me back to some horrible experiences I went through with my father.

I could go on and on about many more triggers. Triggers are the one thing that are abundant in my life. I wish I could wave that magic wand and make them all disappear. Often though they show up unexpectedly while surprising me with a hit and run kick to the gut.

When these triggers hit, I am trying hard to recognize them. It is so easy to continue in life thinking that everyone else is seeing the events unfold as you do. When you are able to check your reactions with people you trust, there is a chance for a different outcome. It is so easy to think that when you're triggered, how you see things is how others see them. Understanding that a difference exists is helpful and healing.

I do not try to stop my emotions or feelings when I am triggered. Instead I work to help myself understand what is going on in this situation and how it is affecting me. I allow myself to learn and work with the trigger by talking and writing about them. In addition, I also allow myself to connect with the feelings and emotions of it with where it is located in my body.

Triggers are not easy for me to deal with but I am learning that I can work with them and begin to heal from them. The more I acknowledge and give them a voice, the more energy and power that I take back from them. At times, I do try to minimize triggers in my life so that I am not completely overwhelmed.

In life, what I considered to once be a life sentence in dealing with triggers is now something I am able to work with. Even though times where I am triggered may get rough, I do realize there are other options in how I react to life. Triggers can get easier to deal with and I know that I can heal from these moments.

Further Reading:
Healing The Triggers Of Life, Blog Post on November 24, 2010


Blog Post & Images (c) 12/13/10 Don Shetterly - use by permission only

Validation Of Child Abuse

I was reading about some of this stuff from the minister dude in Atlanta, Georgia (Pastor & Bishop Eddie Long) that is accused of molesting some boys. That in itself makes me want to puke. However, that's not why i'm writing here.

Many of the things that I've been through, sometimes it seems like no one else has ever gone through it, or I just don't often hear about it. And so at times, I fall back into the old tapes that I'm crazy, I've been brainwashed, etc. These are all the things that my family said to me.

There was one part in some of what I read on this current news story about the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church story where the one boy stated (and I'm paraphrasing), "it started out with a neck massage and then led to further things." When I read that, it hit me so hard. It was like the story of someone I never met was validating what I already know has happened to me.

My father used to always have neck, head and back pain. He knew that I had a touch that could do a little back rub on him and he would feel better. I was only a young teenager at the time much like these boys were in this church. The only thing is, that the massages often led to him pulling his pants down and then off into the land of sexual abuse. Writing about this still almost makes me want to go puke right now. And I've moved way beyond so much of this but it still hits me deep.

Its one of the reasons I think that I still struggle to do massage (I am a licensed massage therapist) which I enjoy doing and so many tell me I'm very talented with. I know my touch isn't like many other massage therapists because I sense, feel and pick up things that most don't. Yet, I'm still triggered back to those days of a massage where the the message is so mixed and confused in my mind at times. It is like trying to split the good part of massage from the bad part of massage where my dad molested me. It is like dividing water or so it seems.

But hearing this in the news is tough. I feel for these boys. Like these boys, I too, went through all the justifications of the abuse because of some scripture or interpretation of this being what God wanted my father to do. I ache for these young guys because I know first hand how freaking hard it is to deal with this. The anger within me rises!

While it is rough, I know this is just an opportunity for me to heal further and go deeper into reclaiming all of these things. After all these years of work, it sometimes gets tough. It feels extremely tough and difficult right now but I know I can make it through this - I've already survived much worse!

(Above Picture taken at Fort Lauderdale, FL - (c) 02/15/01)

*Read other articles on Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Massage Is Not Just A Luxury

Massage Therapy is Not Just a Luxury...

There is a misconception among the general public and some other health care practitioners that massage therapy is just a luxury. It is the belief, that because massage feels so good that it cannot also be beneficial for our health. We live in a no pain, no gain society so surely if we get to lie down for an hour and are made to feel good it must be a frivolous waste of our time and money.

That's not the case. It is possible to have something feel good and be beneficial for our health. A general massage therapy session actually produces chemicals that physiologically reduce pain and stress throughout the body. This is nothing new in countries such as China, where they have been using massage therapy to solve physical conditions for centuries. It is our job as massage therapy professionals to be just that – health care professionals who understand the true benefits of massage and who help others understand.

It is not enough for us to learn the basics, we must continue to learn and educate ourselves, and the general public together with other health care practitioners, how we can help. There are people we pass on a day to day basis who don't realize what massage can do for them. They take pills, they get x-rays, MRI's, blood tests and still delay on turning to massage. They miss days of work and are limited in the quality of life and still don't turn to massage. Not only does massage feel good, but it can help many, many conditions. It is not that these other forms of healthcare aren't necessary...but so too is massage therapy. Massage therapy is not only beneficial but it has little to no negative side effects. Let's work together to make changes in the massage field and spread the news that for so long now has been common knowledge in other countries.

If you are looking into massage as a career there is no time like the present as people are looking for alternatives to the traditional quick fix method. Preventative and wholesome health is the direction of the future and we are in the right place to help make that a reality. The demand for massage therapists is on the rise as more and more people are turning to massage for their continued health. I am proud to be a massage therapy professional and I look forward to the coming years as its true strengths are recognized. Want to be part of a growing trend? Contact the Central Florida School Of Massage Therapy.



Article as published in the:
May 2010 Newsletter of Central Florida School Of Massage Therapy



http://www.massagetherapy.cc/