Anger Bubbling Up

I'm beginning to understand just how much of an epidemic this is not only in the country I live in, but the entire world.  Anger is alive and growing.  We see evidence of it through violent actions committed everywhere.

No one seems to know how to get rid of the anger bubbling up within them.  Society doesn't allow it.  Parents don't teach how to let go of it.  Schools don't teach it.  Churches don't teach it.  We all hide our heads in the sand as if anger is a problem for someone else.

In fact, we hide behind anger.  We stuff it down.  We paste it over with happy thoughts and condescending statements toward others for even feeling anger.  We tell others how they should not have anger in them because it means they are "less than" or "not the way a human should be".

None of what is being done in this world helps to alleviate anger.  When it acts like a spring bubbling up within us, we just stuff it down.  We smile to the world, while hating our innermost self.  We smile to the world while we try to numb the pain.

I'm wondering when we are going to start waking up as a human civilization and understand that we are our own worst enemy.  We are inflicting so much pain on our lives through what we do.  We as a society are trampling upon others because we are not leading authentic lives.

Anger is a poison that permeates our body, our cells, and our tissues.  Anger when not allowed to come out festers as an infected wound upon our body, only this one is silently hidden from view.

How often do we hear that someone just popped and no one would have expected they had the anger in them to do what they did?  How often do we see people's rage show up, but we hide it from our reality and act as if it didn't happen?

We have to get real with ourselves and with others.  If we continue to let anger bubble up with no method for release, we're harming ourselves so badly.  It takes a physical toll on our body and mind.  We end up hurting the world in ways that we cannot even imagine.

If we continue to hide from our anger and minimize it or numb it, we're doing the human civilization a major injustice.  There is no honor in being inauthentic.  There is no honor in minimizing and numbing one's life, rather than being real and human.

Anger is a hateful energy.  It is one that alters how we see not only the world, but ourselves.  When we find it hiding within us, it is then that we no longer consciously connect to the deepest parts of our soul.  It is then that we have lost our connection with humanity and the world in which we live.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Healing Power We Do Not Know

I was watching this video as it somehow came across my feed on YouTube.  It showed a healer who had such strong Qi or energy, that he could heal people in ways no one else could.  Many wondered and tried to figure it out, but it still remains a mystery to most.

When I watched the video, I could see some similar things in it that I have learned.  When the body is activated in the correct way, there is a release from deep within of stored energy.  As the body releases, many different reactions and movements are possible as the body re-balances the nervous system and dissipates this stored energy.

Stored energy comes in when we experience events and stressors in our lives and have no means of dissipating what has taken place.  It could be in the moment of extreme circumstances where you cannot do anything but survive in that moment.  It could be as you are being hunted down and trying to flea from harm that is coming your way.  There are so many ways that we store energy up in the body.  It could just be from enduring heavy amounts of stress constantly every day.

Tension In The Body

Do you ever doubt just how powerful stress is in the body?  I know we all know that stress affects the body, but all too often we are mind numbed robots living on a busy schedule, eating ourselves to death, taking pain pills, or just ignoring what is going on.  We are masters at it in our world and its taught from a little baby on through our lives.

It happens so frequently and so unconsciously that we barely notice (if ever).  We go through our days smiling and acting as if everything is okay.  We convince the world that we have no pains, ills, or discontentment.  Even if we realize something is amiss in our body, we tend to employ many different ways of boiling water, rather than cooking something in the kitchen, so to speak. 

I've had those moments when I'm going 16 hours a day nonstop and in those moments, I rarely feel pain in my body.  It isn't until I stop that all of the sudden, I notice it.  My mind is preoccupied in running from the pain to do what I have to do, rather than stopping to embrace it.  While this may be necessary in the short term, if we continue this way over time, the buildup of the stress and pain leads to chronic pain and other health conditions.

Why Do We Harm Others?

Do harm to one another.  Isn't that what we are all about in this country and throughout this world?  Do harm to each other.  If you're reading this and wondering, what marbles are floating around loose in my mind, consider the truth of how we treat others in our life.  Okay, I realize not everyone is like this, but there is a majority in this country and this world that seem to harm one another, rather than respecting others.

Every day that I see news headlines, I'm reminded of just how selfish, mean, and harmful we are to each other.  We treat others as if they are less than us, not really mattering to the existence of life.  In fact, it shows we value the life of fellow humans in such a way, that our culture is taking major hits each and ever day.

It has been stated that we as humans are 99.9% alike biologically and only .1% different.  Yet, we go through our days acting as if we are so different.  We focus on the color of skin, the different beliefs, political ideology, different thoughts, and status of our living conditions as the barometers in what it means to be human.  Isn't it sad, that our existence in life boils down to how every other human is so different from us, when in fact they are not.

Difficult Moments Of Release In Life

Difficult Moments Of Release In
Life Consciousness

Sometimes when we release things in our life, it can get ugly.  While many may want to create a system of beliefs, practices and rituals around things you release, it all boils down to a normal biological part of our mind body connection.  It is more of a simple truth where the answers are within you, not somewhere else in the belief system of another person.

Humans don't like to suffer or go through experiences that aren't pleasant.  Humans would rather live life like a fairy tale where things are beautiful and happy while the big bad witch is kept in the dark evil forest.  After all, why not only see what looks pretty and great rather than connecting with something deep inside that appears ugly, unpleasant and sad.

If we look at the difficult moments in life that they are something to be despised, or something that indicates a malfunction in our life, than how much are we putting limits on our life?   Instead of these difficult moments in life being a malfunction, what if we viewed them as an opportunity of growth?  If we saw these things that we encounter as something that is a part of our life and a message to grow in awareness and understanding, would they still be a malfunction?

What Will I Take Into 2012

What Will I Take Into
2012?

Today I was reading a Garfield comic strip in which Garfield was telling Liz all his resolutions for the new year 2012.  Of course after she walked away, he stated that he needed to curb his excessive lying.  As I read that, I realized just how true Garfield's statement was to most people.

Most everyone it seems is worried about setting resolutions that seem great when they do it, but they never fully follow through.  There are the resolutions of exercising and losing weight which probably top the list.  There are the resolutions of spending more time with family, friends and enjoying life.  I'm sure there are plenty of resolutions to earn more money, pay off credit card debt and take a vacation.

Yet, after the first few days, weeks or maybe months, everyone seems to forget all about these things.  The importance of them take a back seat to life while the media makes sensational stories about not following through on our New Year's Resolutions.  We feel bad and we promise mid way through the year to reorient our self with the resolutions we made on New Years.  By the end of the year, we have all but forgotten what these resolutions were.

Release And Then Relax

Glass Of Water
Release And Then Relax

Imagine a glass full of water sitting on a table.  If you try to add more water to it, it will over flow.  If you try to add the water all at once, most likely you will splash some of the original water leaving you with less water in the glass then before.  However, if you want to add additional water to the glass, you need to drink some first.

Now imagine your body as the glass and you are trying to relax.  Relaxation is the water and so if you're nervous system is revved up too much, (or the glass is too full), it will be difficult to add much relaxation to your body or to feel relaxed.  Yes, you might do some relaxing things or enjoy some body work that is relaxing but the capacity for you to take it all in, is limited.  In order for you to replace the tension or stress in the body with relaxation, you will need to remove some of it first.  Once you remove it or release the tension and stress from the body, you have the opportunity for greater relaxation and peace.

Unfortunately, too many body workers, healers, and massage therapists, focus on putting more relaxation into a body that has no capacity to take it in.  In fact, many people out there going for treatment are looking for the quick and easy fix to relaxation, rather than creating greater capacity within their body for this.  While limited results may occur, the person being treated only gets so much benefit from the treatment.  Many modalities and healers claim that they just allow whatever to happen that needs to happen.  There is much truth to this, but there is also a blind spot in the mirror.

Relaxation Or Stress - Your Choice!

Corey The Orange Cat
Enjoying Relaxation

While we can have relaxation without release, it is often limited.  The more you can release and let go, the deeper the relaxation will be.  Imagine a container full of water that is almost full.  Imagine that the water in the container represents stress in your life and the container is your body and mind.  Now, try to add another container full of water and see what happens.  Most likely you will see the water overflow as the original container can only hold so much.  However, if you take water out of container, than you can add much more into it.

Our body is the same way.  We heap stress upon it every day hoping that somehow, it will just absorb it.  The thing is, we are usually numb to what is going on around us and in our life, so we don't even really sense or connect to all the trauma we put our body through in a day.  We just keep doing it minute after minute, day after day, with absolutely no rest in sight.  At some point during the year, we take a one or two week vacation, maybe even throw a massage in there and claim we've done a lot for our self.  Then, we head back to work and push our body every single day for the next year!

Unexplained Pain From Workout, Part 3

This is part 3 of a 3 part series.  Please read Part 2, first.

This time, my body was nearing exhaustion and so I found my comfortable floating raft and laid down on it in the water.  The movement of the water in the pool was relaxing and I allowed myself to just drift off and be there in the moment.  There was no hurry at this point and I knew that allowing myself to just rest was an important part of the process.

This may seem a little strange of an exercise and it may be difficult to do this at first.  However, by connecting with the emotion (saying the words), adding the movement (pushing the water in the pool), taking a breath of air and then releasing it all into the pool, you will be doing something that is a built in mechanism for our body.  There is no greater healing force and process than this if we allow ourself to travel here.  By screaming in the pool, you don’t have to worry about freaking your neighbors or family members out because they can’t hear you!

You might be amazed at just how much tension, stress and anger this moves from your body in a safe way.  Punching the water isn’t going to hurt your hand and neither is screaming into the water going to hurt anyone.  It is a very safe way to release anger and we all have to find those ways.  More importantly though, this connects the mind and body together with the emotions, movement and breath as you release.

Unexplained Pain From Workout, Part 2

This is part 2 of a 3 part series.  Please read Part 1 first.

Finally, I gave up and went to the pool to do some activities that would help let go of what was kicking up in me.  I knew there was plenty of anger there, if not just from this frustrating physical pain.  As I got into the pool, I began to think about all that was irritating the daylights out of me at this point in time.  It is not difficult to come up with a list right now as there is many stressors weighing on my life.

As I started this process, I just started saying the words out loud.  Since they are personal, I’ll not share them here but if you were doing this, you would just connect with your own list.  It could even be just one item on your list.  There is no right or wrong list, just what is impacting your life in this moment.  Through this part of the exercise, I take my hands and push the water around me in the pool as hard and forceful as I can.  To summarize, you are saying the words from your list and pushing the water at the same time.

At first, it was difficult for me to truly connect with this.  Even though I was alone, I found it difficult to let go and just connect with these words that were causing great frustration and anger in my life.  It took me a couple of times but once I finally connected to it, I think I could have moved all the water in the pool with one stroke of my arms.  When I finally got to the point that the anger and frustration were connecting with my movements and I was nearing the point where I could not physically continue this, I took a deep breath.  Next, I plunged my head down in the water and began screaming and pounding my fists against the water.  I did this until I had to come back up for air.

Forgiveness Is Not What I Was Taught

Through my searches on the internet, I found this great video about Forgiveness.  Forgiveness for me was taught in the Baptist Church but it was their view of it, not necessarily what forgiveness means.

It was used more as a weapon of control, after the monster beat my mom and whipped the daylights out of us.  It was used as a weapon of control as we sang praises in church while the monster sat close by after the night of showing God's love to us in our bedrooms.  I could go on of course, but hopefully you get the idea of how forgiveness was taught in our home.

I still remember one time in a church service after I was recovering from paralysis that they had me come to the front of the church.  They asked me to pray and forgive the monster.  At that time, I was not even sure what I was praying for.  I actually think that it meant more to the people who were praying over me than it did to my life.

My Shoulder Hurts

One of my recurrent body pains is showing up again.  It would be easy for me to proclaim that the reason is a result from going to the fitness center.  As believeable as I could make that story out to be, I know it would be innacurate to some degree.

Yes, I do have a physical limitation in my shoulder that I am sure would show up on xrays and tests as being a shoulder impingement.  Unfortunately, that would be too easy of an explanation as well and if I got lost in that scenario, I would not be furthering my healing along from the pain.

You see, the pain isn't there 100% of the time.  Working out at the gym after a period of inactivity can sometimes inflame the situation.  Clicking a mouse all day long on my computer can also affect my hand, shoulder and neck.  However, I know that I can go for many days or weeks or months and experience no pain.

Stress Relief and Crying

Crying is considered to be an important means of releasing physiological tension and stress according to the website, emotionalprocessing.org.uk. 

A biochemist at the University of Minnesota, proposed that people feel better after crying due to the elimination of adrenocorticotropic hormones associated with stress. 

In medieval times, tears were associated with bodily humors and so crying was seen as a way of releasing excess humors from the brain.  At one time, it was thought that emotions were only reflexes to rational thought.

In a Wikipedia.org article, according to the German Society of Ophthalmology, women cry about 30 to 64 times a year and men cry on average of 6 to 17 times per year.  Men tend to cry between two and four minutes while women cry for about six minutes.

Tears do have a biological benefit because tension is released when we cry.  It does provide a cleansing that allows the body to discharge toxins.  Crying bathes and cleanses your inner self  as you gets you emotionally clean.  It can also refresh your heart.

So the next time you feel the need to listen to your upbringing and suppress those emotions by holding back the tears, think twice!  Holding back may be necessary in a single moment but at some point, allow your body to release the stress of the moment and have a good cry.  It may just be what the body needs and you may find that you’ll be refreshed, renewed and invigorated!


Further Reading:
1)  Men And Women Cry Differently
2)  When Is Crying Okay?
3)  Newborns And Crying Babies
4)  Biology Of Crying


Sources Of Information:
1)  Read It And Weep, Crybabies - Wall Street Journal, May 4, 2011
2)  Is Crying Good For You - EmotionalProcessing.org.uk
3)  Crying - Wikipedia.com
4)  Don't Apologize For Crying - AssociatedContent.com


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Blog Post & Images (c) 5/24/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

If any part of this post is used or shared, a link back to this site is required.
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Stress Can Make Us Sick

All of us know that stress can make us sick but there is a disconnect in our society when it comes to actually realizing the impact of stress upon our life. If you don't believe me, just monitor how much time you spend relaxing and releasing stress in your life and how much others around you do the same thing. I have seen many people come in for a massage that is more like a treat than something healthy that they should do as often as they go through their week at a job.

Yet, we as humans and maybe more in our society push ourselves past our limits every day. Maybe it is this way in the whole world, I do not know because I am not able to travel and check it out. In our days, we have our jobs, our family functions and our organizational functions which we must attend. We are running here and there for everything, everyone and anything it seems. There is never a dull moment in our lives except when we are maybe watching the TV as we doze off to sleep. Our blackberry and iphone are filled with our schedule of many tasks we need to complete and we live to check those off one at a time.

Where is the sanity in staying so busy and treating our bodies as if they are a robot that is destined to be our servant in life? Where is the enjoyment of life when we can barely stop and smell the roses or notice the sounds of the birds waffling by our ears? Where is the the warmth of touch on our lives when we fail to connect with anyone around us in a meaningful way?

We all know that we push ourselves harder than we should and yet, many of us do very little about that. Maybe it is because we are not comfortable being alone in our body and in our mind for there are parts we just don't want to think about. Maybe you have been raised to believe that an idol mind is the devils playground. Some of us may feel that our self worth is defined by how much we accomplish and how successful we appear that we have become. Others may feel that it is our sense of duty or responsibility to never stop for fear of letting someone down in our life or letting ourselves down. There are many reasons and most of them need to be challenged to the core in our life.

Regardless of the reason, it is undeniable that what goes on in our mind and in our life is what is reflected in our body. They are one and the same. You cannot separate the two as hard as you might like to separate them. We can make ourselves sick because we do not stop and take care of ourselves. We can also make ourselves whole by stopping to really focus on our body, mind and spirit. It really is that easy and it is that difficult.

Consider the quote from the book, "Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers" by Robert M. Sapolsky on pages 2 and 3.

We have come to recognize the vastly complex intertwining of our biology and our emotions, the endless ways in which our personalities, feelings, and thoughts both reflect and influence the events in our bodies.

Extreme emotional disturbances can adversely affect us. Stress can make us sick, and a critical shift in medicine had been the recognition that many of the damaging diseases of slow accumulation can either be caused or made far worse by stress.

Further Reading:
Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Robert M. Sapolsky


Blog Post & Images (c) 12/6/10 Don Shetterly - use by permission only

Healing The Triggers of Life

Note: This story may be triggering to read but it does have a happy ending to it. So, if you choose to read it, please know that all of what transpired here led to a deeper healing and a greater awareness which I am thankful for. The following article is what I recorded from the Evolutionary Healing Seminar in Miami, FL. on November 21, 2010.

“I feel so disconnected from everything and like I don’t matter!”

“When will I ever get things figured out in life?”

“No matter what I do, it just seems like I never get anywhere”

“Yes, I know many good things have happened in life but I still struggle – when will this struggle let up – when will it end?”

Those were the words I spoke after leaving the first day of the seminar with Dr. Paul Canali of Evolutionary Healing. Little did I realize that a discussion earlier in the day would have such a profound impact upon me. Little did I realize that the discussion was already impacting my life and triggering me in ways that I was not aware of.

All I felt in those moments going home was sadness, despair and hopelessness. I knew it was wrong for me to feel this way, or that’s what I felt in that moment. I just couldn’t shake it. I just could not walk away from it.

Leaving the seminar, I was fighting the traffic and becoming infuriated at the idiot drivers on the way back to the hotel . How dare they cut me off? How dare they weave in around me? How dare they, I fumed.

After supper, we went on a wild goose chase trying to find a grocery store to no avail. I was feeling in my own world, all alone and as if no one really wanted me or loved me. I don’t care if God himself would have come and sat in the car at that moment, I would not have believed love existed.

As my GPS went off trying to direct me back to the hotel, it was taking me onto unfamiliar roads and I was agitated, scared and anxious. I fumed and cursed its directions, screaming at it to shut up because it did not know where it was going.

My night came to a close as I dropped into bed, exhausted from the day and hoping in some small way, I might be spared another day to live through this misery. I did not voice any of this as deep inside I felt it was my own pain to bear. After all, I felt no one cared or loved me, so why would I expect anyone to show me concern? It didn’t matter that there were people there for me that I really trusted and that I knew loved me. I could not see it in this moment. I could not feel that. Despair and hopelessness were the only love that I knew in that moment.

The next morning came too early and the sadness in life was engulfing me like a fog. I so badly wanted to cry. I so badly wanted everything to end. I so badly just wanted to say *F*U*C*K* It all and go back home. To go and hide felt like the only refuge I had in that single moment. Darkness was all I could see and all I could feel.

Forcing myself to head back to Miami for day two of the seminar, I finally admitted to Jeff in the car that I really just wanted to kill myself. I’m sure that wasn’t a comforting thought for him as a passenger but there was no way I was giving up control of the car. It was the only control I had in that moment. He responded “Oh Don” with a concern of compassion that was reassuring to me. However, I could barely feel it. He asked me if I wanted to talk about it but I said, I can’t. For I knew that if I was to talk about it, I would break down emotionally and not be able to function in the car. Again, I clung to the control of driving the car. It was my saving grace at that minute. The radio played. I hid in my silence and cursed the traffic.

Arriving at the seminar, I knew I needed to talk to Dr. Canali (Paul) but I was so afraid. How do you tell someone that they triggered you without them laughing at you, becoming violent towards you or doing much worse? It was hard to separate out the events even though my mind knew that Paul and the source of the trigger were two different people.

Walking through the door, I paused to see him talking to someone else. Damn it, I thought in my mind. I then saw him walk in the room and someone else cornered him. Damn it! I was becoming furious thinking that I was truly alone and I would never get to talk to him. I didn’t know if I would have the courage to say something as more time passed.

Oh well, I finally surmised, I’ll just sit here and act as if everything is okay. Surely I can do that much right, I thought. The noises going on around me and the conversations seemed so distant. I felt like everyone was avoiding me although I really wanted no one to talk to me. I wanted to sit by myself in my pain without anyone getting close. I felt the intense shame that I thought was the only way I could see this right now. How could I? How dare I? How could he?

How could he talk about that in a room full of people? How could he bring up a subject like this? After all, I care about Paul and I respect him but had this changed everything forever? Had he become someone different to me? I wanted to run out of the room but that would have been noticed. I wanted to hide, but where could I go – there were people everywhere?

I tried to breathe and calm myself but the war of the ocean waves were churning inside of me. I fought back the fears, I felt the pain and I felt the anger. I was so angry at him for what he did. I was so angry at what I went through. I was so angry at what Paul said. It all seemed like it was Paul’s fault and I had no idea just what was playing out in the corners of my mind.

I could take no more of it as the lecture started. I could not look him in the eye. I didn’t want to be there in that room with him or anyone. But I had to hide this. I could not let anyone see this pain I was holding. I could not let anyone know of this shame I was hiding. I could not expose myself in this way.

As the anger surfaced, I knew I had to say something but I was so afraid. How would he react? What would he say? Would he get defensive and tell me to leave? Would he tell me that he never wanted to see me again? God knows, that was the punishment for speaking out. Would he just discount all that I was feeling? I didn’t know what would happen but my only choices were to have an emotional breakdown right there in front of everyone or talk to him. There was no way I was going to break down in front of everyone and be vulnerable. No way, no how!

The moment came and I quickly ran up to Paul and said, I needed to talk to him. What was I doing, I thought. Why are you saying this? Don’t you know what can happen when someone speaks up? How dare I be so stupid? No, I thought – I’ve got to say something. The other option of breaking down isn’t one I want to allow either. The war raged within my mind.

I heard myself get the words out, “What you said triggered me yesterday.” And at that moment, I began to cry. The tears started coming from my eyes. I couldn’t stop them. I didn’t want to seem weak. I told Paul that I really didn’t want to come back and I didn’t want to keep going in life. And then I waited for an eternity for what his reaction might be. Was this the end? Would he hate me? Regardless of all the experiences I’ve been through with Paul, I still could not allow myself to trust anyone. I was in so much pain, that I could not see through reality. I was walking in illusion but the illusion was just as real as the pain I was feeling. There was no separation.

Paul said in a surprised way – really, tell me about it. I was so shocked. What, he wasn’t going to hit me or tell me to leave or ridicule me or tell me how bad I was? He was going to listen? Wait, really? This is possible? No, it can’t be! My mind raced with thoughts.

He had me sit down next to him and asked me to share what had gone on. I struggled to get the words out because each one was like a knife being stabbed into my gut. I really could not even completely remember what all had been said yesterday, but knew it was something about how the autonomic system plays a role in sex, and that was being used as an example of how the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems react with each other. Outside of that, I could not remember much more.

Of course, when I was in junior high, my dad was fixated on the topic of masturbation with me. He constantly wanted to know how much I did this, how often, the way I did this and every detail that one could tell. It was like he would get so excited sexually about this.

Wait, there he goes. Oh no, he’s doing it again. Why did I tell him? Why couldn’t I have just stayed silent? Why didn’t I lie about it and not give him what he wanted? I forced this to start. I caused this to happen. There he goes.. No I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to see.. oh my god, I hate what I’m feeling, what I’m doing. I hate how it feels in my mouth. I want it to stop. I want to run. Why are my pants down? What if someone finds us? I can’t deal with this. Look at the sky. See the birds. Wow, there are some pretty clouds today. The barn sure needs paint. I think I hear the sheep.

My little young mind just couldn’t process what happened. It happened with such a frequency that it felt more normal than breathing. It was hard to understand why I was not smart enough to stop this from happening. If only I would not have said anything. If only I would not have allowed him to get me alone.

Of course, all these details did not come out when I was talking to Paul. They didn’t need to. It was too painful to speak anyway and the main points were enough. I could hardly keep my composure. I really didn’t want everyone to see the pain I was in.

And so as Paul was talking, which I can hardly remember right now because my mind was lost in another world, I began to struggle with the constant tears. How could I sit there and deal with this pain? Then Paul knew I was struggling, and what I had shared with him became a perfect teaching tool for those in the room, and also for me to help me release some of the pain I was feeling and the energy of the pain.

He asked me to share with the room what had transpired. I’m thinking – there’s no way I can do this? After all, this was so hard for me, and sharing it with everyone would only be much more difficult. But I know that Paul and I have talked that the more you let this out, the more you reclaim your life. Why me? Why did I have to endure these things?

As I began to tell the story behind it, I only got a few words out and the tears started to flow like a water fall. I remember Paul just supporting me and holding on to me to let me know that I’m okay and that he cared about me. I remember seeing the faces in shock of what I was saying. In all reality, I thought everyone had felt the words of the day before were a trigger, just like me, but seeing the faces in the crowd, I knew that it was not the same. I’ll never forget the image of those faces being able to see the situation much differently than my mind was living it, and the support coming from each person.

The story doesn’t end here, of course, and it has a happy ending to it. Just like the angel card I pulled that morning which stated, “support – the angels are here with you and supporting you”, I was finding that I truly had the support of not only the angels but those around me.

When we broke for lunch, my stomach was in knots and I could not eat anything, so I just tried to find a sense of peace in the sun, clouds and trees as the wind blew against my skin.

After lunch, I finally got a chance to get on the table with Paul working on me. I wasn’t so sure about all these people around me but I felt safe with Paul. At first, I struggled to allow him to touch me. My body was reacting to the complete fear that I was feeling inside of me. Touch was not real safe, and if it would not have been for Paul asking me permission to touch, I would not have found that safety in that moment that I so badly needed.

At first, I could barely feel much in my body and then as we started pushing through things, my legs felt frozen and numb. They wanted to run but they couldn’t – just like any one of those days a long time ago. My body braced for all it would endure as the pains came up through my back. The muscles in my low back were so tight, just as if they were shielding me from the blows that my body would experience. And my arms had so much vengeance in them, as they wanted to strike out in anger but were never allowed to do.

As we went further into the session on the table, I could feel my body beginning to trust more and letting go more. The reactions seemed smaller than I feared they would be, and when things got too overwhelming, Paul brought me back to the safety of the place between my eyes or the music in the room. At one point, I remember him connecting me to someone else in the room who was crying, which of course connected strongly within me.

My body began to drop down as it dissipated all this energy that was coming up like a volcano from deep within me. I began to feel stronger that I could go into these things and reclaim them. I began to feel more connected to my body and all the energy and senses that I was once again realizing.

It was at that moment that I sensed all those supportive angels hovering around me and protecting me, giving me the strength to go through this. I heard them tell me that I was not alone and they were here for me. Paul had someone come over and be with me. The minute they touched me, I felt this intense sense of warmth coming from their hands. It was a beautiful moment and I felt so loved, so honored and respected.

I did not go to the seminar expecting this to happen, and I was so shocked by the events. I am so grateful for the support of so many and especially Paul for being there. The pure love that he shows to me is something that I was not shown all my life. Love was misused against me and twisted for these people to do sick and perverted acts upon me.

But I also realized that the trigger wasn’t as bad as it seemed to be. I realized that I could use the power of it to transform this part of me and reclaim the power that is a part of me. When I walked in the room that morning, life felt hopeless and I wanted to kill myself. When I left that afternoon, I had indeed killed the part of myself that I no longer needed. In doing this, I gave birth to a freedom and a new energy in my life of love, compassion and healing. I will always remember this day. It was my teacher and it taught me some very valuable truths.

And I know feeling the pains, the hurts, the anger, and all the other stuff I go through is the transforming fire that takes me through the healing and into a greater awareness.

(c) 11/22/10 by Don Shetterly - use by permission only.

Letting Go In Our Lives

Sometimes we have to let go of those things that we feel we need in our life. While they seem good and well intentioned, if we are struggling and fighting to hold on to them, then it is best that we stop and do some evaluation. It does not mean that we will abandon these endeavors for the rest of our life. The shifting of our perspective is what matters most.

There are times that we can become so lost in what we see for our life that we miss all that is currently part of our life. We expend precious energy chasing the rainbows when in reality, our life is unfolding in the moment. Our life is not about chasing some rainbow in a far off distant land. It is about embracing the here and now in this very moment.

Image from "Journey Through Words" by Don Shetterly

(c) 11/10/10 by Don Shetterly - use by permission only

Play Hard And Rest

Every time I start experiencing stressful moments in life where I feel like I've got more to complete in a day than is possible to accomplish, I'm reminded by my cats to play hard and rest. Watching them as they play hard one minute and then they are sprawled out on the floor resting the next is a vivid example that we as humans should consider following.

Ever since we got our two kittens from the cat rescue organization, Candy's Cats, these two have played hard together. They are brother and sister which really does help. We do encourage the playfulness with them and spend much time playing with them as well. We have done this since they were kittens. When they want us to play, we stop and play.

Never does a day go by that they are not running, chasing, pouncing and playing hard with each other. It is fun to watch and sometimes it feels like a herd of tornadoes running through the house. However, if you watch them, they will go at it strong for several minutes and then all of the sudden they get quiet. The next thing they do is lay on their back sprawled out as if nothing is going on. They might actually go from playing hard to cleaning and grooming themselves but most of the time, it is complete rest after a moment of playing hard with each other.

As kids, we most likely did this same thing where we played hard and then we came inside for a rest. It wasn't something we thought about or knew we needed to do these things. It just happened because we were being kids. It was all in the moment living much like our cats live.

As adults, we tend to lose the ways of being a kid. Yes, I know there are responsibilities and jobs and family to take care of in our lives. Often these responsibilities take away from our time to play or relax or just enjoy life. It is all too easy to get caught up in a million activities or causes which may be noble and justified but sometimes they can rob us of our playtime in life.

Playtime is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves. By playtime, I mean finding things that you enjoy doing from crafts or walks in the wood to spending time out in the sun having fun. These are things in life which are just pure enjoyment to you and there is no work or worry or other stress that you need to connect with when you are having play time. If you are not sure what playtime really is, just connect back to when you were a child. What did you do as a child to have fun? What do you enjoy doing now?

Learn to play hard and then after you have played hard, take some time to just rest and live in the moment of now. There should be no expectations of how long this should go or any other thing that may be on your mind. Just be in the moment like cats are where nothing else matters for them. Resting gives you the connection of pushing yourself into enjoyment and fun, then allowing yourself to drop down and connect to the greatest parts within yourself. Observe how your body feels during the rest time and see if there is any change in muscle tension or pains. Most likely, you will notice a sense of relief and less pain.

One of the best ways to release stress is by pushing your nervous system up and then letting it drop down. Taking time to clean out those closets in your body where stress is hiding gives way for you to allow yourself relaxation and a deeper peace. Playing hard helps push your nervous system up, if you really allow yourself to just let loose and have fun. Then by taking time to rest afterward, you are allowing yourself to connect to the deeper peace and relaxation that your body needs. Through the connection between these two things, you will have released much stress in your body and your life.

I'm sure we all know what it means to play hard but some of us may have forgotten to allow ourselves to do this. That is perfectly okay because what you do in today's moment is totally up to you. You can go out and spend some time today playing and having fun, enjoy life to the fullest! You can be creative in how you do that and maybe step outside of your comfort zone, giving yourself permission to just let loose!

If you are not spending regular time playing in life, I urge you to give this a try. Step out of your comfort zone and see what happens. Even if you are extremely busy, an afternoon of playing hard, then resting will most likely give you more focus, clarity, and energy for your day. You may be surprised at just how much more productive you are.

Our bodies are not meant to be pushed constantly or to their limits without a way to release the stress and build up of emotions. Our nervous systems are resilient but the more stress and past trauma we hold against within our body, the less resilient they are. When we overwhelm our bodies in this way, they react through physical messages that try to get our attention so that we can reverse course and become aware of our connection between our mind, body and spirit.

To live in the moment, is one of the greatest gifts of awareness that we can give ourselves. To be mindful in our day will return many rewards back to us. We really are the masters of our health and well being. Through playing hard and resting, we give ourselves the chance to stop, connect and discover a little more about ourselves. It truly does a body good!

(Above Picture taken of Corey And Topanga (our Kittens) - (c) 10/03/10)

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Release Worry And Fear

There are many things I am worried about in life. From my finances, to friendships and my professional life, there are nonstop flights to worry land every day.

I feel as if I do not have the strength to continue. My body feels tired and weary to continue the fight. Self confidence is at an all time low in my mind. Yesterday was one of the lowest moments I can remember.

In addition, I feel so all alone. The little things in life get magnified a thousand times. It seems there is little hope to find my way through what I am experiencing. The darkness of the difficult moments haunt my life.

My body feels worn down and bruised to the bone. It feels like I have nowhere to turn or anyone to turn to that may help me. I feel as if I have to walk alone through this part of my journey. There is no road map. There are no directions. The manual for my life cannot be found.

Once again though, I keep getting reminded that I need to release my resistance to what I am experiencing. Oh, how that sounds like something I need in my life. It sounds almost like music to my ears. With doubt and trepidation, I fully want to embrace this with a hug. Yet, all I see is a porcupine with long needles sticking out.

For me to release worry, I wonder how someone actually makes this happen. What are the secrets? What does one actually do to release worry? If only I had the answers. If only I knew what I needed to do.

I cling to all that I do not want in my life out of an overabundance of fear. Fear is all I seem to know. Fear is my currency and my wealth in life. Fear is my abundance.

Even as badly as I want to release worry in my life, I feel as if I would be cutting off the flow of sustenance to my life. It is frightening and difficult to think that a world without worry could exist. It seems like a fantasy! It does not seem real!

So the question I ask of myself today, is how do I release worry? What steps do I take? Where is the book describing this process?

All I know to do in this moment is to continue my search to understand how to release fear (opps, I mean worry. Did I just write fear?). Maybe the key is in my mistake of words. Maybe it isn't worry that I need to release but the fears I need to let go in my life.

Would that not be a shocker if fear was the root cause of my worry? Have I not heard this lesson before in my life? Have I not cursed these difficult steps in previous days? Of course, I know the answers to these questions I ask.

Maybe I just need to stop and acknowledge my fears. Maybe I need to realize my fears are very alive right now and are trying to take over my life. In fact, they are doing a very good job of it at this moment.

Then, if I can see and describe my fears, maybe I will fully recognize them when they appear. If I can recognize them, then I can begin to close the door on them, not giving them access to my life. If I stop giving them access to my life, then maybe I will begin to release the fears. As I release the fears, I will be removing the energy of worry that is paralyzing my life.

It all seems easy to accomplish. However, I know how difficult it is to identify and let go of the fears. Until I allow myself to have the courage to do this, my fears and my worry will control my life.

I know this is what I need to do, and I feel my feet shaking and my body trembling. May I find the courage to face my fears. May I find the strength within myself to stand on my shaking feet. May I have the wisdom to find my way through these difficult moments.

(Above Picture taken - (c) 10/09/10)

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Connecting With Our Body

I am always amazed at how much stress and tension we store in our bodies. All too often, we do not even recognize this. Sometimes what we sense in our bodies is far less than what is actually going on. We do this because we have not learned that it is okay to connect with all parts of our body.

Past issues, current issues and a hurried pace in our life, dull the senses. As humans, we do not take time to connect with our bodies. We often inhabit our body but most of the time we truly don't live within our bodies. Many times, we do not even notice the pain that is clamoring for our attention.

If we feel the pain we are experiencing, we tend to ignore it, find some way to take it away or seek out someone that can give a plausible explanation as to why the pain exists. The part that we often miss though, is going into the pain. By going into the pain, it means we need to actually slow down and notice everything that we can about the pain. While that may sound strange, or frightening, it is the way to really travel to the root of the pain.

I can recall so many people that I have worked on as a massage therapist and I can easily see how little most were truly connecting with their body. Sure, they might have noticed a tense muscle, a painful back or a stiff neck. They might have had a long list of conditions that a doctor was treating them for complete with their own line of medications. Just knowing you are in pain or that you have some stated condition will not necessarily bring resolution to your soul.

Because of fear, upbringing, and being misled by advertising, most humans today do not understand just how much can be done within themselves to bring about true healing. To often, we give up the power to various products and others in our society that we convince ourselves that these things offer us true healing. Fear is a very gifted illusionist that can trick us into believing things that otherwise we would not normally consider. Our goal in life is to challenge those fears and to become more aware of ourselves that will lead us to a greater consciousness of our self. To just allow our self to continue being willfully led along in life, it will keep us stuck in the same loop that repeats day after day and year after year.

The other day, my pulse was high and my shoulder, neck and back were tense and painful. My hip was feeling like it was not lined up and so walking was a challenge because of the pain. Of course, the easy thing for me to do was to blame it on all my hours sitting at a computer. While that would have been a convenient excuse, I knew that the tension and stress were building up for a reason. The anger level was rising within my body. My body was sending me messages to get my attention.

Instead of reaching for some type of pain pill, muscle relaxant or running to an alternative healer, I stopped and listened to my body. By doing this, I then could see that if I did some release work connecting with my body (SEE POST on TRAUMA: RELEASE ANGER IN THE POOL), that physical changes were almost instantaneous. It did not take much to drop my pulse rate down and to free my body of pain.

All this happened because I stopped and went into the pain. There is no story of course that came out with the release because it was not necessary. Just allowing myself to connect with my body and going into the fears was all that I needed to do. It was that difficult. It was that simple.

In our society, we have been sold a bill of goods that we need all of these medical procedures, prescriptions and healing methods to function in life. While some of these things may be necessary at times, we often forget or we don't recognize, that the power to heal ourselves comes from within us. It does not come from outside sources. Sure, there are people that can help us in our healing discovery, but ultimately we have to connect with our bodies to heal ourselves. We all know this deep down in our soul, but we have succumbed to the fears that society has led us to believe.

We can do so much for our bodies if we allow it in our lives. If we hold fast that none of this is possible, then I will assure you that you will find this to be true in your life. However, if you challenge yourself and connect with your body, the potential for great things does exist. It is up to each one of us as humans whether we just inhabit our bodies or we learn to truly live within our bodies. The miracle of life is to become more aware and conscious of our body, not to run away from it in fear.


(Above Picture taken at Daytona Beach, FL - (c) 12/21/04)


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Archangel Michael

Today in my meditation, I pulled the angel therapy card (Healing With The Angels Oracle Cards) “Archangel Michael” on my iphone app that I have from Doreen Virtue. I figured out that I can do a “shuffle” of the cards on the iphone which I didn’t know I could do. Up until now, I’ve just been sliding them back and forth until I settle on one that just seems to be the appropriate one. Now I can shuffle them in my iphone and select one. Sometimes they just sort of pop out. You can’t see what it is until you actually take your finger and select it. Then the card opens up so you can read it. According to an Angel Therapy Practitioner that I know – when they pop out, they are truly meant to get your attention.

Archangel Michael is pretty powerful and is one of the main angels. So pulling that card today, I was like – wow.. The parts that stood out to me were described as “courage, release from fears and you are safe and secure”. While there is more to these cards then that, I usually see what sort of stands out in my mind because there can be different parts of the same theme on the cards. I follow my intuition.

But what was more important is that I could really feel his presence from the breeze blowing in the trees to the healing light that I was feeling. It felt like a lightness to me and I found myself sort of transported in time to a moment of deep relaxation and meditation. The kind of point where when you open your eyes, you feel like you’ve really gone deep into a place of peace. So I talked to him and shared with him many of my concerns. I got the sense that he listened and showed his love and acceptance upon me. It is of course to hard to find the words to explain how I sensed this but it is without a doubt what I felt. I could sense that healing type of heat as well which is a gentle, loving and welcoming feeling.

The words “safe and secure” kept repeating in my mind’s thoughts.

There has been a very beautiful butterfly that flies around in our backyard. It is a gorgeous yellow one. I saw it the other morning and as I’m writing this, I just saw it again. I’ve tried to get a picture of it but so far, it just flies around.

Oh and one more thing, I believe this is the first time, I’ve personally sensed Archangel Michael around me. Most of the time, I just sense Angels or Raphael but not Archangel Michael.


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