Yes, I do have a physical limitation in my shoulder that I am sure would show up on xrays and tests as being a shoulder impingement. Unfortunately, that would be too easy of an explanation as well and if I got lost in that scenario, I would not be furthering my healing along from the pain.
You see, the pain isn't there 100% of the time. Working out at the gym after a period of inactivity can sometimes inflame the situation. Clicking a mouse all day long on my computer can also affect my hand, shoulder and neck. However, I know that I can go for many days or weeks or months and experience no pain.
It does not hurt 100% of the time but when it does, the pain is horrific. There are moments where I can barely notice it and usually those moments are when I am more relaxed. When I get stressed or encounter some of the more difficult moments of my day, that's when I really notice the pain. In fact, during those times, it feels like I have frozen shoulder.
So, what kicks it in, you might ask, if it is not purely a physical condition. Here's the key to knowing that it is more than a physical situation. If I do some meditation, relaxation, or if I sit with it and focus on that area of my body, I can kick the pain up. You might be saying, I can do the same thing as well.
However, here's the part that differentiates the physical from something more going on. If I allow my mind to connect with my body through breathing, I can literally change the intensity of the pain. The pain may increase temporarily but with continued focus, I can shift the pain into a lessor degree within my shoulder. More likely than not, I may find my shoulder attempting to shake or tremble as it releases the stored energy within the physical muscles.
If I allow myself to continue with focus on this area and allowing the uncomfortable feelings to arise within my body, transformation can take place. Through the addition of letting my feelings and emotions connect to the pain, I will then begin the process of recovery of what is stored or locked in this area. I may not know the entire picture at this moment and I may not even understand enough of what is going on to see a well defined picture.
What matters in this moment is that I allow this connection to be made and I allow myself to travel into this pain. Through continued focus, I will be able to reclaim this area of my body that presently hurts. Pain is a messenger to our body and if we open our self to listen to it, than we will be giving our self the greatest opportunity for transformation.
Many people in our culture have learned to mask the pain or to just live with the pain. By taking medications, enduring surgeries or grasping on to other alternative health practices, we limit what it is that we need to process in our body. I do understand that by masking the pain or attempting to just get rid of the pain, we feel as if we have gained something. However, it is a temporary gain that is more of an illusion, than a reality.
Please keep in mind, that if we mask the pains in our life, they may appear to have vanished but more likely than not, they will show up in the future, in some way that may be different than what we currently experience. Our mind and body connection call us home into that which we are meant to be. It is up to us to quit running and listen to that which is being communicated to us. Our minds and our bodies attempt to help evolve us into greater awareness if we allow them, but if we close our minds, than we will continue the cycle of pain over and over.
In my case, the shoulder is a recurrent situation that means something more is going on. If I focus on it, I connect with anger, grief and some very painful moments in my life. It is not easy to allow myself to connect with those things and I can only do this a little at a time. It is by allowing myself to peel back the layers, that I will continue to move forward. For now though, I am content to listen to the pain and ask what its purpose is for my life. There is more to its appearance than I currently understand but I will continue to listen, and allow it to be my teacher.
Related Blog Posts
1) Freedom From Pain (Sep 10, 2011)
2) Pain Hurts Because I Slept Wrong (May 22, 2011)
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