Hey everyone, I wanted to let you know about a movie documentary a good friend of mine is trying to bring to this area. He does excellent therapy work called Unified Therapy around Melbourne, Florida. Anyway, he is trying to bring the movie documentary, All The Rage, here in October.
They have a minimum number of tickets they have to sell to make this work. The more people who sign up, the more this becomes a reality. If you live in the central Florida area, don't miss out on this.
It is an excellent movie documentary on the story of pain - back pain that is! Many people suffer with back pain and there are so many dollars spent trying to treat it when some simple concepts can do so much.
Dr. John Sarno found a way to address and deal with back pain, without medications and surgeries. That's where the story starts in this documentary. In fact, many years ago, John Stossel did a 20/20 interview with Dr. Sarno about his practices. He was so helped by the procedures that he wanted to share this with everyone. Even Howard Stern sings the praises of Dr. Sarno.
I won't get ahead of myself on what all this movie is about, since the link below shows a trailer and gives more information on it. I've seen many of these theories implemented and I know this stuff works. In the link to movie tickets, look for the trailer.
Go ahead - check it out and reserve your seat. You won't regret it. The movie documentary is getting some great reviews from people who have already seen it. The more that sign up, the more this can happen and it will be a big help to my friend, Jim Fazio.
Some days I scratch my head at how people approach issues in life. Healing back pain is one of those. I grew up with a father who had constant back pain, and I'm still nauseated by the smell of Absorbine Junior. For some reason, I was one of the "chosen ones" that got to apply this to him, but that's another story for another time.
Of course, I know his back pain hurt, and I know it bothered him. He tried every product known under the sun. They all promised "relief" of course, and if they did, he bought them. However, very few if any worked. Those were the days before back surgery, and before Oxycontin and Opioid usage were prevalent like it is today.
Today, it is the just about the same as it once was then. We do all kinds of "procedures" and "surgeries" and "pain meds" to relieve the pain. In the alternative therapy world, there are many "healing procedures" that promise to get rid of the pain. Unfortunately, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but so many of these things just don't work. Why? Because they aren't approaching the entire body and mind together.
In a recently released movie documentary called ALL THE RAGE, Michael Galinsky showed through his own life history how much Dr. John Sarno, M.D., helped heal back pain. Sarno's ideas were revolutionary at the time, and he was ostracized by much of the medical establishment, but he did help many people. John Stossel and Howard Stern cannot sing high enough praises for Dr. Sarno, claiming he helped save their lives,
Dr. Sarno's concepts were not packaged in a once daily, ready-to-take pill, yet they worked! They worked because he understood how our feelings and emotions, stresses and experiences in life impacted the physical body in ways that defied medicine. He saw beyond the physical, and connected the body and mind together.
Unfortunately, when you try to share this with people, they are skeptical at best and dismissive at worse. They don't want to hear what you have to say. They ignore it, dismiss it and look at you like you are crazy. You don't know their pain, so you know nothing.
The same thing happened to Dr. John Sarno. People would bring in their medical tests, X-rays, and CT scans to prove that there was something physically wrong with them. Yet, that was like looking through a pair of glasses and only seeing the color green and nothing else. He looked beyond it and saved many people from surgery while helping them find lasting relief.
Many years ago, reporter John Stossel did a 20/20 story on Dr. John Sarno. Even though Stossel knew how effective Dr. Sarno's concepts were, his own brother, who was a doctor, didn't believe it. I remember in that report how John was saying, "but it helped me", yet that was not proof enough for his brother. It appeared that his brother's paradigms were getting in the way.
I recently shared this with someone I know, and they immediately dismissed me. This individual did not even take the time to check it out. I was wrong, and they were right. I didn't understand what their pain was about, they told me. I didn't know what I was talking about, they said. They called me crazy. They called me a few other things.
Then I remembered that in the movie documentary, All The Rage, Dr. Sarno said to someone that people just would not listen. He advised them to move on and let it go. I'm paraphrasing here, of course. He reasoned that if someone would not listen, there was not much you could do and you were wasting your time.
In the case of Conversion Disorder, which I have dealt with in my own life, many have laughed at me and thought I don't have a clue what I was talking about. They have mocked me, dismissed me,and flat out just told me how wrong and stupid I am. Yet, I see them continue to struggle with Conversion Disorder. I know you can heal from it. The help is available but far too many do not want to go in and do the hard work required to heal. They just want the magic pill to make it all go away.
When presented with information, we can either dismiss it and turn away, or we can see how it could apply. We can call it crazy and ill-informed or we can see if there is an element of truth in it. Now, I'm not saying everything is full of truth, but there are elements of truth in everything. The rest is filler material and beliefs.
Whether we go further into our own awareness and healing, or we sit back in our lounge chairs watching the same old life movies play over and over., is up to each of us. I can't make that decision for you and neither can anyone else. That has to come from within you, and whether you are aware or not, you're making a choice each day in your own life.
Be sure to watch out for the movie documentary, All The Rage, because it is a good movie to see.
I have been struggling lately. When those flashback memories surface, it is all I can do to hang on. The aftermath of these can make life pretty rough and some days, it gets rougher than I can even imagine.
Flashback memories are not fun. If you've been through traumatic experiences, war, torture or child sexual abuse, you know full well just how tough this can get. They will about take you under and leave you huddle in a corner begging for mercy.
I've been through more than my share of trauma and child abuse and torture in life. I'm not sure how I survived. Most days I do pretty well as I've spent considerable work to try and heal my life from all that I endured. Most days go by and I'm fine, but lately it has been anything but normal.
Last week, I finally sat down and tried to write about what was going on. My intent was to publish it, but at this moment, I cannot bring myself to do it. In fact, I had not read what I had written until yesterday and it was too much. It was too intense. It about took me under.
I could feel the anger...
I could feel the anger and heat and anxiety rise within me. I could feel the shame and despair. I was angry, but hurt. I wanted to cry, but felt too weak. I finally shared it with someone I trust but even that was almost too much.
For now, it is shelved and filed. I'm not sure I want anyone to read it at this moment. I feel horrified and embarrassed at something that happened to me a long time ago. For now, it will remain hidden. I just can't bring myself to share it with anyone.
Struggled with pain in my back...
This morning and last night, I struggled with pain in my upper back, shoulder and neck. I felt it and I know its connected to what I wrote. It feels like a big keg of dynamite sitting in my shoulder, neck and arm full of emotional anger. It feels like I could just break down and cry, but I can't. It feels like I could punch my hand through someone, but I won't. It's like dynamite, ready to explode.
Yes, I'll go get some healing bodywork done on me to release it, but right at this moment, the physical pain is intense. I feel such a sadness to what I experience. I feel like a thousand years of emotional pain is built up inside.
If this one area of my body could completely heal from all the physical flashback memories, life would be so much different. Yet, it took me many years for this flashback memory to surface. It is not an overnight - forgive and let go process like too many make it out to be.
My body has been through a lot. How I've survived all these years, I'll never know. I've made it and as one person told me, I turned out pretty good. Not all have that same good fortune. Some never make it. Some get pulled under.
Flashback memories are hell to live through and they keep the suffering going for a long time after the event happened. Thankfully, I've found someone and a form of bodywork called "Unified Therapy" with Dr. Paul Canali that has helped me find greater peace with my past and my body. It is still an ongoing process and one that has gotten better. Unfortunately in times like this, it tries to take me down.
This video is of a day long past now, but what I was going through at the time with headaches and back pain from exhaustion in my life. A job that I loved, had turned toxic and it was slowly killing me. Much has now changed in my life, but at the time I recorded this, I could barely keep myself awake in the day, let alone accomplish anything. My doctor put me on a medical leave of absence and I once again began to find myself. My body and mind were overwhelmed by stress and I had to stop and rest. There was no going on until I did.
This is part 3 of a 3 part series. Please read Part 2, first.
This time, my body was nearing exhaustion and so I found my comfortable floating raft and laid down on it in the water. The movement of the water in the pool was relaxing and I allowed myself to just drift off and be there in the moment. There was no hurry at this point and I knew that allowing myself to just rest was an important part of the process.
This may seem a little strange of an exercise and it may be difficult to do this at first. However, by connecting with the emotion (saying the words), adding the movement (pushing the water in the pool), taking a breath of air and then releasing it all into the pool, you will be doing something that is a built in mechanism for our body. There is no greater healing force and process than this if we allow ourself to travel here. By screaming in the pool, you don’t have to worry about freaking your neighbors or family members out because they can’t hear you!
You might be amazed at just how much tension, stress and anger this moves from your body in a safe way. Punching the water isn’t going to hurt your hand and neither is screaming into the water going to hurt anyone. It is a very safe way to release anger and we all have to find those ways. More importantly though, this connects the mind and body together with the emotions, movement and breath as you release.
This is part 2 of a 3 part series. Please read Part 1 first.
Finally, I gave up and went to the pool to do some activities that would help let go of what was kicking up in me. I knew there was plenty of anger there, if not just from this frustrating physical pain. As I got into the pool, I began to think about all that was irritating the daylights out of me at this point in time. It is not difficult to come up with a list right now as there is many stressors weighing on my life.
As I started this process, I just started saying the words out loud. Since they are personal, I’ll not share them here but if you were doing this, you would just connect with your own list. It could even be just one item on your list. There is no right or wrong list, just what is impacting your life in this moment. Through this part of the exercise, I take my hands and push the water around me in the pool as hard and forceful as I can. To summarize, you are saying the words from your list and pushing the water at the same time.
At first, it was difficult for me to truly connect with this. Even though I was alone, I found it difficult to let go and just connect with these words that were causing great frustration and anger in my life. It took me a couple of times but once I finally connected to it, I think I could have moved all the water in the pool with one stroke of my arms. When I finally got to the point that the anger and frustration were connecting with my movements and I was nearing the point where I could not physically continue this, I took a deep breath. Next, I plunged my head down in the water and began screaming and pounding my fists against the water. I did this until I had to come back up for air.
Last night going to the fitness center, I really enjoyed the workout. I finished it off with a soak in the hot tub that felt so relaxing. Not long after I got home, I started to notice pain in my back and shoulders near my scapula. It was strange because I really did not do any exercises for this part of my body.
I do know that you can kick up emotions, stress and other connections to the mind by events that seem to be unconnected in the moment. From past experience, I figured that this was kicking up something in me, but I had no idea what it was. It did not take long for the pain to become excruciating and for me to be to the point of tears and crying. It was intense.
I laid down on my massage table and tried to just allow whatever it was to run its course and let go. Putting the heating pad on my shoulder area for relief, I just attempted to be there in that moment. The heat did feel good and I got my friend to just lay his hands on my back. It was difficult to connect because the pain was overwhelming. However, it started to lessen a little.
How often do you say, “I slept wrong or moved wrong,” as a way to explain pain you wake up with or experience during your day? If you do, then you are much like me and many others who misplace the source of pain. You can go on blaming unrelated things for the pain that hurts but it won’t get you very far.
Last night, I had a dream where I was violently attacking someone that caused me great harm in my life. It is actually a person that I don’t think much about these days. In this dream, I was victorious and felt a sense that I conquered this person.
When I got ready to wake up, I noticed that my shoulders and upper back were in some intense pain. It was pain that was “fearful” and so intense that I was tempted to take a pain killing medication.
While I could make excuses for my pain and reasons I hurt, I can clearly see the connection between the dream and the painful state I woke up in. I could freak out and head for pain med city or I could allow the connection in my mind. If I stay with the thoughts, feelings or emotions, then I will move through it, much like I am doing already. If I add slight mind – body connected movement to it, the pain and hurt will dissipate much quicker.
We often fool ourselves about the source of pain in our body. We fail to stop and check what is going on at that moment or right before it started. Usually what is going on in our life shows up in our body. If we stop and notice it, we can do so much healing in our life and learn the lessons that our body is trying to teach us. If we choose to head to the medicine cabinet, for pain pills we’ll only delay the opportunity for greater awareness and learning in our life.
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On the LiveStream event with Yanni Live today, Yanni said, "the best way is to take pain on head first." So very true! It does hurt, but it is the healing force.
It all started on a warm, sunny, late summer day. The horrendous events leading up to this time would forever change my life! These events were not just what had happened in the previous couple of months, but also things that had happened a long time ago in my life. However, the more recent events played such a key role in what would happen this day.
Sitting through the church service was excruciating; not for what the preacher said, but because my back hurt with extreme pain. It was more pain than anyone could ever imagine. I sat there during the church service just hoping that it would go away. A couple of Tylenol, which normally stopped the pain, did not have one ounce of effect on me that day.
So when I finally got home after avoiding so many of my friends, giving an excuse of having so many things to get done, I left church and went home to take a nap. I was so tired.
Little did I realize, this nap would be a life-changing point, after which no day would be the same as before. For once I shut my eyes, a new world was rotated into view: a world that was nothing I had ever known or experienced before.
Upon waking up from my restful nap, I felt somewhat refreshed. Even as this feeling felt good, I realized that I had wasted so much time that day. There was too much to do and accomplish for me to be taking a nap that afternoon. As I sprang to my feet, something unexpectedly terrible happened! The pain was gone from my back, but surprisingly, so was the strength in my legs.
Lying on the floor in a very stunned state of mind, I pulled myself back up to the couch. Not being one to give up, I once again sprang to my feet, although just a little slower this time, thinking that I had not completely awakened. Once again, THUD! I dropped to the floor!
A recent trip that I made regarding a gathering of male survivors getting together was powerful and emotional. While it was a very good thing that took place, it is sure kicking the emotions up right now. I'm feeling a wide range of emotions and body issues as a result. Yesterday's post explains it more.
Of course, I woke up this morning to intense pain again in my back, especially my upper back. It is like a very intense burning pain that hurts like hell. Sorry to be so blunt but this is not easy. To describe it as painful is an understatement.
I do know and realize that this is connected to the emotions that have been kicked up this last week. I'm not surprised that this pain has happened. I'm not completely sure what is coming up or why, but I do know that this is part of my healing process.
Yesterday after I woke up in intense pain, I managed to get myself to the fitness center. I not only focused on exercise but I really focused on my breathing and connection to my body. I was not concerned with how much I did in my workout as I was connecting with every muscle fiber as much as I could. It felt good to tire myself out on the treadmill and weight machines. It felt good to almost exhaust my body.
After the workout, I followed it up with some time before the hot and dry sauna as well as the pool. The pool was very cold because the heater was not working but I still went in and did my anger release that I know so well.
Leaving the fitness center, I felt more relaxed, centered and a greater calmness within my body. The pains had disappeared and overall, I felt very good. Of course, that all ended early this morning when the intense pains started back in.
This has been an intense week and I remind myself that all of this is part of the process. It is not an end point and it is not a marathon that I must run in the fastest time. It is a process. As long as I don't let myself get overwhelmed by the fear and I allow myself to travel through the process, I will find the other side. When I find the other side, I will find a deeper level of healing. Until then, the days are rocky and rough but I know that I've been through so much that I can go through this as well.
In the middle of the night, I woke up with some intense back and shoulder pain. It is a burning pain that feels like prickly needles are stabbing me one right after another. It is pain that hurts so badly and actually made it very difficult to lay in the bed or sleep. I have not experienced pain this intensely or this hurtful for a long time.
For anyone that knows me, I no longer reach for pain pills or pain relievers to deal with pain such as this. I now realize in my life that doing so will not really take "the pain" away, it will just mask it. Yes, there are times when I just want to say, I don't want to feel the pain but I know deep down that this is misleading. I'm sure there are many that are reading this that what I am saying makes absolutely no sense. There are others reading this that some of what I am saying makes sense.
One of the things that I have learned is that pain is a messenger in our body. It is a connection to something that is trying to get our attention. Attempting to determine what that is may not always be easy and in fact it often seems more difficult than we want it to be.
Usually when pain comes up, our first reaction is oh my gawd, what is wrong with me? We may answer it in ways such as "I slept wrong last night", "I worked out at the fitness center too much", "I did to much physical work" or a number of other explanations. You can probably come up with a million more that fit for your own life. Remember, pain is a messenger in our body and is a connection to something that is trying to get our attention.
After we have gone through the first reaction, we normally start looking for things to relieve the pain. It may be through pain relievers, pain pills like Oxycondone, Darvocet and others. It may be through various forms of body work that only focus on "relieving" the pain rather than going into it. We might even turn towards alcohol and other drugs to numb ourselves from the pain.
Who can blame anyone though for reaching for something to try and numb the pain especially if it in the back, shoulders and neck. These pains feel debilitating and paralyzing. They are scary and they limit our functions in life. Many times they are also exhausting. There is nothing like back, shoulder or neck pain to stop you dead in your tracks. However, if you understand that pain is a messenger, than an episode like this does not have to keep you down.
One of the biggest things that keeps us down is the fear that comes up with these episodes of pain. Fear disguises itself in many ways from the misdirected actions in what may start the pain or what actually relieve the pain. Instead of stopping and listening to what is the underlying message to the pain, we turn to things to numb ourselves from the pain. While that is a short term fix, it will not ultimately connect us to that which the body is trying to tell us. We may believe it does and we may feel "healed" in the moment, but this is a false illusion. At some point in the future, the message will come back until we listen, heed its purpose and release whatever is stored in our body.
Before anyone thinks that I'm just being strange or radical in how I view this, I have been through moments where I had to go to the Emergency Room to get injections so that the pain and muscle stiffness would subside. I've been through moments where my body shut down so badly because I wouldn't listen to it and I was paralyzed to the point of almost breathing my last breath. I know first hand what can happen to a body and I know first hand the pain pills, pain relievers and other methods I used to numb myself from the pain.
I see so many healing bodywork modalities that focus on telling people they "relieve pain". As well intentioned as these people are, they are missing something. I do understand that people go through these things and the pain or situation "disappears". It may disappear for a long time but that does not mean it is gone. If you have not listened to or dealt with the message, it still has residence in your body. It is still stored energy that is locked within your body and your mind. To just relieve the pain, is an illusion. I realize that many do not like to hear this said but it is the truth and there are many people including myself that can give evidence to this. It is not some new age thought. It is a real concept based upon science.
So, lets get back to my situation for a moment. As I write this, I feel the intense pain in my body. It is consuming my energy and I feel miserable at this moment. However, I know that I need to stop today and listen to the pain. I need to allow myself to not go into the fear but to just connect with whatever it is that is coming up through my body. I have an idea of what it may be but I will be in the moment, just allowing it to shine through. For I know from my past experience, that if I allow myself to connect with it, I can move through it. Any other method of numbing the pain is not going to make this happen. I can try to fool myself like our society is so trained to do or I can look past the illusion and really bring forward some deep healing.
Stay tuned of course for the follow up to this. As this unfolds, I will write more about what came up and what I did to allow that to happen. Most likely, I will get on my massage table today and just allow myself to go into some of this to bring it on through my body and release it. Numbing myself or going into fear by trying to just relieve the pain is not going to get me to that point. Sure, I could do those things but at some point, these messages from within will get my attention.
I am always amazed at how much stress and tension we store in our bodies. All too often, we do not even recognize this. Sometimes what we sense in our bodies is far less than what is actually going on. We do this because we have not learned that it is okay to connect with all parts of our body.
Past issues, current issues and a hurried pace in our life, dull the senses. As humans, we do not take time to connect with our bodies. We often inhabit our body but most of the time we truly don't live within our bodies. Many times, we do not even notice the pain that is clamoring for our attention.
If we feel the pain we are experiencing, we tend to ignore it, find some way to take it away or seek out someone that can give a plausible explanation as to why the pain exists. The part that we often miss though, is going into the pain. By going into the pain, it means we need to actually slow down and notice everything that we can about the pain. While that may sound strange, or frightening, it is the way to really travel to the root of the pain.
I can recall so many people that I have worked on as a massage therapist and I can easily see how little most were truly connecting with their body. Sure, they might have noticed a tense muscle, a painful back or a stiff neck. They might have had a long list of conditions that a doctor was treating them for complete with their own line of medications. Just knowing you are in pain or that you have some stated condition will not necessarily bring resolution to your soul.
Because of fear, upbringing, and being misled by advertising, most humans today do not understand just how much can be done within themselves to bring about true healing. To often, we give up the power to various products and others in our society that we convince ourselves that these things offer us true healing. Fear is a very gifted illusionist that can trick us into believing things that otherwise we would not normally consider. Our goal in life is to challenge those fears and to become more aware of ourselves that will lead us to a greater consciousness of our self. To just allow our self to continue being willfully led along in life, it will keep us stuck in the same loop that repeats day after day and year after year.
The other day, my pulse was high and my shoulder, neck and back were tense and painful. My hip was feeling like it was not lined up and so walking was a challenge because of the pain. Of course, the easy thing for me to do was to blame it on all my hours sitting at a computer. While that would have been a convenient excuse, I knew that the tension and stress were building up for a reason. The anger level was rising within my body. My body was sending me messages to get my attention.
Instead of reaching for some type of pain pill, muscle relaxant or running to an alternative healer, I stopped and listened to my body. By doing this, I then could see that if I did some release work connecting with my body (SEE POST on TRAUMA: RELEASE ANGER IN THE POOL), that physical changes were almost instantaneous. It did not take much to drop my pulse rate down and to free my body of pain.
All this happened because I stopped and went into the pain. There is no story of course that came out with the release because it was not necessary. Just allowing myself to connect with my body and going into the fears was all that I needed to do. It was that difficult. It was that simple.
In our society, we have been sold a bill of goods that we need all of these medical procedures, prescriptions and healing methods to function in life. While some of these things may be necessary at times, we often forget or we don't recognize, that the power to heal ourselves comes from within us. It does not come from outside sources. Sure, there are people that can help us in our healing discovery, but ultimately we have to connect with our bodies to heal ourselves. We all know this deep down in our soul, but we have succumbed to the fears that society has led us to believe.
We can do so much for our bodies if we allow it in our lives. If we hold fast that none of this is possible, then I will assure you that you will find this to be true in your life. However, if you challenge yourself and connect with your body, the potential for great things does exist. It is up to each one of us as humans whether we just inhabit our bodies or we learn to truly live within our bodies. The miracle of life is to become more aware and conscious of our body, not to run away from it in fear.
(Above Picture taken at Daytona Beach, FL - (c) 12/21/04)
As reported on MSNBC.com, A study of Medicare patients showed that more complex spinal fusion surgeries have increased 15 times between 2002 and 2007. Although simple fusion surgery declined during this time, hospital charges grew by 40%. In the article, it is suggested that aggressive marketing of devices used in the fusion surgeries is playing a role in this increase. There have been allegations of financial kickbacks to doctors using the spine surgery products.
Conditions that spinal fusion surgery is used for includes common lower back conditions caused by aging and arthritis. The findings suggest that these more challenging operations are riskier and they lead to complications and deaths.
About 5% of patients who had simple or complex fusion surgery, suffered major complications such as stroke. This is compared to decompression surgery patients that stroke was a complication because of the surgery, 2% of the time. The risk of death 30 days after the surgery was .6% for complex fusion surgery compared to .5% in simple fusion surger and .3% for decompression surgery.
When you read articles like this, does it make you stop and think a little? Does it just make you question why one surgery over another is more dangerous? Maybe it makes you wonder why people resort to surgery in the first place? Hopefully, at least you are asking one of those questions.
Our body gives us warning signals that something isn't right and usually this is through pains in our body. All too often, we ignore those pains and we deaden them through all types of pain relievers, hoping that they will just go away. Pain is one of the ways that body says - hey, I'm trying to get your attention. Often, there are things we need to change in our lives and yet, we fail to heed the call of the body.
So after some time has gone by, where we have ignored our body, we then seek medical care as the answer to all our problems. We fail to look inside of ourselves and look at what may be causing the condition. We just want someone to take the pain away which is usually nothing more than masking the pain so we don't feel it. If drugs and medications don't work, than surely surgery must or so we think. And for the new age, alternative therapy people - we think that if we put electrical stimulus in our muscles or we do this or that form of bodywork, nutritional supplements and or some type of flavored drink mix, than we will be cured! And alternative therapy people are a little more smug about it because they are doing it naturally they think. Please don't get me wrong. There are many alternative therapies out there that are very beneficial but don't be blind sided by them. Don't mask the pain in exchange for another therapy.
At the end of the day, we are still ignoring our body and what is sending the signal up through our body. We've learned all our lives that pain is not good and so we do things to "avoid" the pain, not fix the pain. Its easier that way, we tell ourselves. Again, at the end of the day, we are still ignoring what the body is trying to tell us.
Looking to others, whether it is alternative therapies or medications and surgeries, for the answers is only going to keep us searching, and wanting relief. It is only when we look deep inside that we will find the answers that we need. Yes, there are people who can help us get there but until we look within, the body will not fully heal itself. At the minimum, there will be residue of the pain lying in a dormant state within our body.
All too often, we fool ourselves into believing that we need to get rid of the pain. If we just spent the time going into the pain and becoming consciously aware of what was causing the pain, it would go away. It would not just go away temporarily either. If we shined the light of truth on it, we would find the pain running for the hills trying to get away from us as fast as it could.
It bothers me so much when I turn the TV on and see the constant barrage of ads on medications. While they do claim this medication does something positive for us, they also enjoy listing all the harmful side effects that each one has. Yet, in alarming numbers, we continue to purchase and consume these medications as if they are giving us life. In reality, they are taking life away from us. I do not want to state that all medications are bad and should never be used. That is a decision you need to make with your doctor but make the decision in an informed way. If you do not go searching deep within yourself and just turn to the surgeries or the medications as your salvation, than you are truly robbing yourself of being human.
There is a concept called the "placebo effect" that has extreme healing power for us. In fact, when many of these studies for medications and surgeries are done, the placebo affect often does just as well, if not better than the medication or surgery. However, these things are often just not written about because they would take millions and billions away from the medical establishment. What company would really want you to know that you could basically heal yourself, if your mind was convinced that it could? That would take a lot of money from the drug companies and surgeons and hospitals. Think about it. Don't take my word for it. Try to prove to yourself if this is true or not.
Health care is not about taking drugs, doing surgery or finding someone to tell you that if you do their therapy or take this supplement, you will be healed. There is just so much of that thinking out there and if it truly worked, these people would work themselves out of a job. The way you become healthy is to get in touch with yourself and to truly travel deep into your mind and body, through the fear and controls you put in place in your life. Anything less than that and you are robbing yourself of truly being human.
I can't keep track of how many times I have heard people say "I'm so busy, I just can't find the time to get everything done". Their days are filled from early morning until late at night where they try to cram in some time to gulp down food, say hi to the family and attempt the act of sleep. The kids are in all kinds of activities or there are meetings to attend or there are long days at the office. It's almost like they need an assistant just to schedule their lives. Does any of this sound familiar?
If you notice any part of this being familiar, you may want to ask yourself why that is the case? If your life has become a runaway train on a track of endless things to get done, maybe it is time to stop, re-evaluate and make changes in your life. Sometimes we have to make hard choices and just because some activity or after school event looks fun and inviting, only so much is good for the body. Only so much can be done in a day and there are only 24 hours to a day, not 30!
Our bodies need rest and they need downtime but if we constantly push them to the limits every day, we're overloading them for no good reason. The constant push and get done mentality, adds a tremendous amount of stress to the body. Without giving ourselves a moment to relax or release all of this stress from deep within ourselves, we are daily traumatizing our life. Yes, you can keep this pace up for some time without major biological ramifications but at some point, your body is going to say "I've had enough!" When it does that, you'll see all kinds of physical symptoms showing up from lack of sleep, tired and sore muscles, back pain, weight gain, high blood pressure and etc, etc, etc. You name it, the condition will show up. Yes, I realize that these conditions can be caused by many other things but repetitive stress without release changes our biology.
For a long time in my life, I worked almost day and night. I had to be the best. I had to be perfect. I could not let anyone down. I had to be everything to everyone. It almost took me under. In fact, there wasn't much left of my life by the time I came to my senses. It took me some long hard and difficult moments to come back to reality and begin understanding what really did matter in life.
Our bodies have so much power and strength built into them and they can withstand a lot of pressure and stress but all too often, we just keep pushing ourselves every day. We don't give ourselves the time we need to relax and let our mind rest or to truly come down and experience a true state of peace within our lives. A day of vacation or a holiday here and there isn't enough to do this. It should be a part of our daily and weekly lives.
So if this blog post fits you, try to stop and evaluate all that you're doing in life. If you have to, take an inventory of how you spend your time and get a good grasp of what is going on. Are you giving yourself time to rest and relax each day, where your mind doesn't necessarily get input and stimulation, but is allowed to just clear out? Are you doing things that maybe they are fun and inviting, but may just be too much and you need to slow down? Are you trying to be there for everyone and anyone associated in your life but you are absent with yourself? Maybe you've turned to stimulants such as coffee or food to get you up and going.
We all need balance in our lives and while too much stimulation can be harmful, too much sedation prevents us from really getting things done. If there is a balance between the two in our day, than we will most likely find more optimal performance for ourselves in life and accomplish much more. I still remember when I was working full time and going to massage school, that my life was about as busy as it gets. However, on Saturday mornings I would go down and do Yoga. Even though it took about 2 hours out of my day, I found that I was able to accomplish much more during the rest of the weekend and absorb more of my school work than if I didn't spend the time doing Yoga.
My hope is that everyone who reads this will give themselves the moments of rest and relaxation they deserve. This way, they can not only give themselves to all those around them in their life, but they can also give their own self what they truly need and desire. For if we don't take care of ourselves, who will?
I'm posting this on here but please be forewarned that it wasn't easy to write and I'm sure it is not easy to read. Please take care of yourself if you decide to read this.
----------------------------------------------------------- Last night my body was hurting pretty bad and very tense/tight/stiff. My neck/mid and upper back especially sometimes going into my low back. Breathing was difficult as if it was almost impossible and my chest/lungs hurt. This morning, the pain intensified and was getting to the point I couldn’t take much more of it. My body was feeling exhausted and depressed.
So I went and jumped in the pool and started just pushing the water around with my arms trying to let the anger and emotions flow through that were coming up. I was taking a lot of frustrations out on the water and then I got to the point of just screaming underneath the water and hitting my arms in the water as hard as I could. It didn’t take long to get to a point of exhaustion and then I laid in one of the recliner pool chairs that we have. As I moved my arms, I could feel my body release in many ways and shake and tremble. Knowing what that’s about, I just let it happen and kept focusing on moving and breathing. Finally my breath did like the polar bear video and just went deep and then let go.
By that time, I was exhausted and I just let my body lay there for some time (until the rain storm came up). But my mind began to be flooded with so many words. I think of it as John Boy Walton used to say, that sometimes I get so much in my head going around, I just have to put it down on paper. This was one of those times. I just had to write. I couldn’t keep it in any longer. When I was done writing (through all the tears and emotions that were coming up), my body gave a big sigh of relief. Much of the pain and stiffness in my body had left, although some residual pain/stiffness was still around. I let the words of what I wrote, sink in and let myself cry as hard as my body wanted to.
When Jeff got home, I told him I wanted to go to the beach because I wanted to read what I wrote to the Ocean. So off we went. It was hard reading the words but I really wanted to have the sounds of them go out from me. It was a release and I knew the ocean was big enough to take them. When I finished through the crying and emotions that came up as a result, my body felt a sense of peacefulness and resolve. We spent the next hour just walking along side the ocean right next to the surface taking in the ocean sounds.
There’s a little residual pain/stiffness I notice in myself but it is a far different feel than just a few hours earlier. I’m feeling more like I can do this instead of feeling overwhelmed. I’ll probably get in the pool and do some more movement stuff tomorrow to keep it flowing through. This one was a rough one and it sure hit me pretty hard. The good thing is, I found a way through it.
Here's what I wrote:
The pain within my body grows as fast as a weed drenched by buckets of water. It has no end. The pain continues. Every nook and cranny of my body hurts and screams out as if a giant club is whacking it over and over. Every muscle fiber and cell dreams of a day when the pain ends, the back no longer hurts and the body moves with ease. It hurts and I want to scream. It hurts and I want to cry. It hurts but alas this is just another day.
I cry out looking for someone to fix this, someone to take this away, someone to just bring an end to it. I search for the path through it hoping to escape the pain my body endures. I long to listen to the answers for all the questions that I have and that hound me every day and night I take a breath. I beg for an end to this nightmare called life. Some days when I feel I have the strength to go on, a thief comes and robs me of all energy I can muster up.
My wonderings travel into the amusement of some sick entity that is enjoying all the pain I suffer through. My heart feels a burden of a million knives that were jammed through it. My eyes have seen so many things they wish to forget and my arms have been held back as a prisoner wanting to escape its captors.
Everything around me seems to trigger an episode of epic proportions with no logical analysis to grasp. The facts don’t add up. The observations fall short. The sounds, the smells, the touches all seem as one army united against me that my eyes cannot see. Yet, I know it exists. Its surprise awaits me with each glimpse of a night time sky or sun filled day. The triggers they come and go, almost as if they are the thief I run from. They rob me of everything. They steal me blind. How can I go on?
It is almost paralyzing when the pain begins to grown. The anger sits on the sideline as it becomes my world. The anger within me grows pushing the pains that I feel to the breaking point of no return. I so long, to notice the flowers, not the storms. I long to feel the soft gentle waves of the ocean, not the rocks hidden below the surface. I so long to feel normal, safe and secure. I so long to feel my body instead of trying to outrun it.
Yet the images, the sounds, the smells and the touches that flood my conscious mind are enough to create one of the scariest movies ever known. From the starring role of my father as the snake, to the smells of his breath masquerading as onions, garlic, and seafood as he forcefully tells a little boy to shut up and take it like a man. If such a movie was made, no one would believe it. No one would even dream this up for no rational mind could create such a scene. My mind though knows this is more than a movie.
As you bring in the supporting characters of my mom and two brothers, you begin to see the story unfold. There I am crouched down behind a chair hoping to not get what I had coming to me for whatever it was that I did. No one was home at the time of course so he had his free way with me. There was no one to stop him. And as his breath flooded the smells around me, my eyes wanted to cry out in tears. As the tears began to well up with me, I felt his big hand slap me so hard, that it was all I could do to keep track of where I was. It was as if I had been knocked into another dimension waiting for some spaceship to come rescue me. There was nothing of course that I could do. It was my cross to bear and my existence to obey him for that was what God wanted me to do. God was love after all. God was in control. God was my heavenly father as seen through my eyes of my real father.
Moment after moment, it hurt. He didn’t stop. I can remember it as if it is happening right in this moment. No, I didn’t forget it. Sorry Mr. Snake, I didn’t forget it. You wanted me to and you begged me to. In fact, you commanded me to. But my body remembered, my mind remembered and my heart shielded it for an eternity. I wanted to beg you, plead with you to stop but those silent murmurs would be met with a heavy hand of God’s discipline and love.
I want right now just to beat the shit out of you. I’d like to see hurt just like you hurt me. I have absolutely no use for you. The world has no use for you. You horrible excuse of a human; if you can be called that much.
And then the movie continued on taking in its role for the supporting actors. Little did they know what to expect when they arrived home that day. They thought it was just a shopping trip into town not expecting a thing. The gasp of screams they let out when they walked in the door. The horrors only known to the worst of criminals were unfolding before them. They couldn’t look away quick enough. They couldn’t run away quick enough. For it was right there in plain sight whether they wanted to see it or not. The horror they must have felt if they felt anything, would be very difficult but of course I’ll never for sure.
I remember my mom screaming, what in the hell are you doing as my dad stopped for a moment. The weight of his body on mine was crushing in defeat and silencing to my breath. For a moment, the pain subsided but it didn’t go away. All I remember hearing is for my mom to tell my brothers to go to their room and my father telling her to leave him the fuck alone. She wasn’t about to listen though and that was such a dumb thing for her to do. For I knew what was coming and there was no sense in the both of us suffering through the pain. But finally for a moment, the pain stopped and the weight of his fuckin body eased. I caught my breath and laid there exposed to the world not wanting to move an inch, not being able to move an inch.
As he got up, I saw him in all his ugliness as he tried to pull his pants up. In the process, I saw him remove his belt and take a swing. One swing, two swings, I lost count. She went down to the floor covering her face from the blows. She screamed out in pain. She gasped for a breath. But he didn’t stop. He continued yelling and telling her that she had no business trying to stop him. She would learn not to ever do this again. She just cried and cried and cried in between the screams and the gasps for breath. He did not stop until he was exhausted.
I wanted to stop him. I couldn’t stand to see her in this way. I couldn’t stand to see him hitting her and it was all because of me. If she wouldn’t have walked in on him doing what he was doing to me, this would not have happened. She’d be home scott free with no pain. What did I do wrong to cause this? What did I do to deserve this?
To this day, I can never apologize enough to my mom for the hurts and pains she endured. I cannot take it back and make it stop, nor could I then. But yet, she was trying to stand up for me and look where it got her. He was in the starring role of the movie as the snake. The snake that was so cunning is stupid. The snake that would startle your world at a second’s notice not knowing what God was going to do to you at that moment.
My eyes have cried many silent tears during my life but as I write this, my eyes are so filled with tears that the screen is difficult to see. And yet there are not enough tears to soothe my aching soul or my painful body. There aren’t enough screams to fill the void this has left in my life or the absence of my mom. I’m left with an emptiness of what should be in life and a longing for what I so badly needed then and now.
Is there any way to make sense of this? Most likely there is not! Is there any way to justify what this horrible excuse of a human did to me? Most likely there is not! Somehow, I’ve got to pick up the pieces of my life if I can find them, and piece them together into who I really am but do not know. I long for the design of my life but yet, the instructions are in some unreadable language – the language of pain.
The journey I’ve walked down has led me to a better moment but the pains, the fears, the unknowns still lurk beside my path. I’d love to be able to say, that all of this no longer impacts me and I can just let it go but when the pains rear their ugly head within my body, I’m once again reminded of something I’d rather forget. Can I forgive him? I want to speak words saying yes, I can because I need to but somehow in my heart, the pains I endured fuel a vengeance of disbelief and confusion towards him in what he did. The mind of a little boy is still confused and the heart remembers just as the body does.
Now as my writing closes, so does the pain ease that has been flooding my body each moment.
According to a recent news article posted on time.com, acupuncture does work! In this study, there were 638 participants with chronic low back pain that received one of three different acupuncture treatments.
One group received individual care in the classic acupuncture. Another group received acupuncture at standardized points for back pain. The third group were poked with toothpicks instead of the standard acupuncture needles but the toothpicks did not penetrate the skin as regular acupuncture needles would.
None of the patients knew which treatments they were getting. Each patient received 10 treatments over the 7 weeks. A control group of back pain patients were told to continue doing whatever it was that they normally did to control back pain.
After the 8 week follow up, twice the number of patients getting any of the three types of acupuncture treatments showed improvement in their daily functions such as walking or going up and down steps without pain, compared with those only getting traditional care. It was also noted that all three types of acupuncture type treatment even the one with the toothpicks had about the same reduction in pain. A year after treatments, acupuncture patients reported a 63% improvement in pain reduction.
While there can be all types of ways to analyze this, evaluate it and draw conclusions, acupuncture clearly does help. So the next time you have pains and before you say Doc, give me some meds to take away the pain, why not give acupuncture a try? Medications aren't always the best way to treat pain and in fact some times they get in the way of the situation that truly needs our attention.
I was scared to death of acupuncture until the first time I had an acupuncture needle put me in me. It was not as bad as I thought it would be and was not like getting pricked with a needle to draw blood because to me that is much worse and more painful. Believe me, I'm frightened of the thought of needles! So if I can do it, surely anyone can go to acupuncture! There is a lot of wisdom in the some of these ancient healing forms.
Many of us enjoy a nice relaxing massage but all too often, we wait for a vacation or a special holiday to receive a massage. I've seen the benefits in myself of getting regular bodywork done and sometimes I don't always get the work done that I should on myself.
Did you know just how healthy a massage can be for you? Consider the following benefits of massage.
- Increase joint flexibility - Reduce spasm and cramping - Lessen depression and anxiety - Help alleviate low back pain - Enhance your body's immunity - Improve circulation and healing in your body - Deal with stress better
There are many different types of massage and bodywork but any type of bodywork is a healthy thing for your body. Our society tends to follow conventional thinking when dealing with health where we look to medical doctors for prescribed treatments to our problems. While there is a place for this, we will have a greater effectiveness, if we find ways to prevent these ailments from coming to us in the first place. You may not realize it, but our bodies have a miraculous way of healing themselves and by taking care of ourselves in the proper way, we can fend off so much sickness.
So why not find a good massage therapist and get yourself a massage? You'll not only feel happier, but your life will be more healthy because of it.
I received a body work session at Evolutionary Healing the other day and as always, it was an eye opening session. Since Jeff and I had been doing some work on each other leading up to this visit, it helped me not have to start at the heavy layers of stress.
It didn't seem long after I got on the table that the two areas of pain came up within me. The first being across my low back which I have been experiencing a lot lately. There were other areas of course like my neck and shoulders (especially the right shoulder) that were painful but the strong attention was in my low back. As Dr. Canali began to touch this area, I felt a very sharp pain almost like a knife being inserted in my abdominal region. The pain was intense and as I voiced that, Dr. Canali urged me to continue staying with this area and staying present, knowing that I had the strength tomove past this.
What surprised me the most though was how quickly we were able to go into this and how quickly I could push past the fear of it to get to the core of what was going on. With the sounds of my voice that grew into dull screams, my arms began to shake with a vengeance propelling massive amounts of anger out of my body. As this continued, the strength of the intense anger grew along with the sounds my voice was making. And then all at once, my body let go and subsided into the ease of the moment feeling much more free and feeling the breath moving more easily throughout my body.
Even though I've had many experiences like or similar to it, this one was different. It helped me connect two things in a very strong way. One of those was that the anger of this session mimicked some of the horrible pain I have always lived with in my abdominal region. Some of that pain from my past took me to more medical doctors, hospitals and medication than I could list here. On the table, I connected with all of that in such a deep visceral way that the connection was made of what fuels this pain. I've probably always known this but the brain connections with my body have never been this strong until this point. And seeing just how far that anger went into the muscles of my shoulders and my low back was an amazing realization to connect with it as well.
In addition though, I knew that we didn't do a lot of "activity" on the table to get to this point where I got. Much of it was about letting go of the resistance and moving past the fear to allow myself to being open to this. Words that I've heard so many times and experienced so many times but they still tend to be a struggle for me. It isn't about doing as much as it is letting go of the resistance.
With everything that happened, my body was able to move into a deep place of peace for as Dr. Canali reminded me that as long as the anger resides within, there can be no peace. It is my reminder that instead of doing as I was taught of holding the anger in, I will find more peace by finding ways to let it go.
