By the time I got to this one particular day, I had enough and was in a cranky mood. I didn't want to be around anyone and I didn't want to interact with anyone. I just wanted to find my hole and crawl in it. It was like I had a do not disturb sign on me.
From time to time, I get that way. It is part of my nature and my sensitivity where everything gets to me. What most people feel intensely, I feel that much more. In fact, take the average person and what they feel intensely and then multiply that by a thousand. You would then come close to what I experience. I've gotten better at handling it and dealing with my sensitivity, but at times it throws me under the bus. When that happens, just get out of my cave as I'm going in and putting the do not disturb sign up.
In this case, I had already planned to do some yard work for a friend. While part of me didn't really feel like doing this on this particular day, the other part of me knew that it would be the best thing for me. Getting my hands in mother earth and feeling the soil between my fingers is a very grounding experience in my life. Feeling and seeing plants come to life is like the breath of life to me. In addition to this, I could just focus on something outside of all the difficulties I had been through.
So I worked hard that day, hauling supplies and cleaning out flower beds. The sun was shining and it was hot, so my body was put through the rigors of working outdoors. While working on the flower beds, I lost track of all that I was struggling with in life. It really didn't matter, because I was in my element of creating and connecting with the earth. Nothing else mattered in those moments.
I came out of that day pretty sore and tired from all the work, but my mind seemed to be more refreshed. Life wasn't exactly perfect for me after that, but knowing that I had helped to make someone smile because of the work that was done, it made all the difference. I wasn't alone in the work either and it seemed like the person that I was working with and I just worked very well together that day.
In the end, the do not disturb sign allowed me to go in and find a moment of refresh in my mind. It allowed me to step outside of the difficulties I was facing and have a different experience. It didn't mean that I just numbed myself from what was going on in my life, rather it was a moment of collecting my thoughts.
Sometimes, the moment is more than we can handle and we just want to hide or say do not disturb. Sometimes we just need a way to connect with our self and forget all the struggles we face. Yes, they will most likely be there, but recharging our batteries helps us to make it through them with a little more strength and determination.
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