Friday, June 15, 2012

Beating Kids Is Child Abuse

Recently there was an article in the news about a minister that beat his daughter forcing her to call 9-1-1 and have him arrested.  When you read the developing story the original account seems to conflict with the current account of what happened.  The father (minister) claims he would never beat his kids and I'm sure he doesn't see himself as a child abuser. 

This brings back memories for me because child abusers who beat their kids often don't admit to doing anything wrong.  The same goes for wife or spouse beaters.  Okay, in the moment they may come back and claim they are sorry for beating their kids, but in all reality the apology is just another form of control.  It really isn't an apology.  All it is designed to do is to get the victim to buy into their way of thinking which involves control, brain washing, and a sick way of treating another human being.

For this father to get up in his church and claim he never abused the kid, I'm sure that is what he thinks is the truth in his own delusional mind.  Of course he attacks the police and authorities and attempts to get the remaining family members to agree with his side of the story.  My opinion is that they most likely fear for their own lives. While there could be another side to the story from the 9-1-1 call, I've seen this scenario play out many times in my own life.  It is very hard for me to believe what this minister (a.k.a father) says because I've heard the sad luck stories way too many times.  Of course, it makes it worse when you see how he joked about it from the pulpit this past Sunday in his church.  Of all things to joke about, this would not be one of them.  However, it is again a form of control.  People in his church will see him as the victim and the kid as possessed by the devil.

For me, I still remember my own father beating the daylights out of us for something simple.  In one of my memories, I was putting the silverware away wrong in the kitchen drawer and I got beat for that.  In another case, I wasn't folding towels and clothes correctly, so I got beat for that. Keep in mind that I was no more than 5 or 6 years old when some of this was going on in my life.  It is just like the California official that got caught on video tape beating his kid for not catching a ball.  To these monsters, it doesn't take much to set them off and there is no way the child can ever do things perfect enough or correctly navigate through these rough waters.  It leaves scars on the child for the rest of his life.

One thing I remember my father always telling me us is that if we ever went to the authorities for being disciplined (as he called it), that this would be the last time we would ever report something.  This threat he would make was repeated time and time again and there was no doubt in our mind that he meant what he said.  This is the way child abusers operate.

On Buck Brannaman's facebook page, he posted a picture of a horse and wrote about not needing to beat a kid or horse to get them to do what you want them to do in order to respond to you.  Note the image of this quote below or go to Buck's facebook page.  He is correct in what he says, but too many in our society look at kids or animals as possessions that they need to control.  In fact, our society is quickly getting to a point where control of others is the guiding principal.  This is not the human experience and it is not how we need to connect with our kids or with our animals.

Image is from Buck The Film Facebook Page (Click on the picture to
go to the page or use this link )

 Blog Post And Images (c) 6/11/12 Don Shetterly - use and reprint by permission only You are welcomed to share the link to this blog post, but ask for for permission before reprinting this article. Thanks!

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