Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Innocent Comments Of Hate

My new t-shirt from HRC
Yesterday was the Come Out With Pride event at Lake Eola in Orlando, Florida.  Estimates put the number of people attending it around 150,000.  The parade was close to an hour long.  The energy level never died down around the beautiful downtown lake.  Fireworks captured the nighttime sky as everyone felt accepted, loved, and wanted.  The Swans moved around as if it were another day.

As I was talking to a friend and recounting similar experiences of innocent comments of hate, he too shared some stories from his past.  Yes, I'm sure one could say we just have to develop a thick skin and not let it bother us.  Unfortunately, I think people either need to lose their ignorance or not prove to the world through their words, just how ignorant they are.

Comments such as "those queers", "those fags" or gawd they are weird are about hate and ignorance.  I've overheard people say to other ignorant people, "you're not afraid he will do something to you, right?"  I've heard that in the work place, and amongst people who I thought were friends. I've heard it amongst those that thought they were self righteous and holy.

Try these comments on for size.  "I wonder which one of them wears women's clothes?"   "Those gay guys just need to find a woman and have sex."   "That lesbian couple just needs a man in their life to show them what being a woman is."  Those gays are nasty people.

If these comments make your eye brows rise, don't feel alone.  These are just a few of the hateful and ignorant statements that gays have to go through every day of their life.  It isn't fun and too many in our society think there's no harm with saying this to others they know or their guy friends.  Too often straight guys think it is a macho thing to do.  Unfortunately I hate to break the bad news but it is a sign of weakness. 

Then it gets worse of course.  The churches and religious people and the politicians and narrow minded jump into the act.  They think that gays are out to convert everyone and somehow gays have a quota of conversions to retain their gay status or something.  They think that gays are child molesters, when in all reality, it is many of these people judging gays that are the child molesters.  Its just easier to blame it on a group that you can easily put down.

Last but not least the media portrays gays as some strange bunch of weirdos.  We're all cross-dressing, flamboyant drag queens that enjoys dressing up in women's clothes.  We all go around in underwear booty shorts in public.  We all sing show tunes.  We're all made up of butch partners and feminine partners.  Just read the Orlando Sentinel's recent coverage of Orlando Pride for evidence.

I could go on and on, but to be honest, it is quite ridiculous how people so easily throw the hate and ignorance around these days.  Some try to enlighten themselves and grow, but so many just sit back in the easy chair and cast the innocent comments of hate.

It is amazing as well that some straight guys have said to me that gay guys are so fixated on male genitalia.  Uh, in case you haven't taken the log out of your own eye, we gays see how you straight guys treat women all too often.  We see how you only see their boobs and genitalia.  Its like too often a straight guy's brain doesn't fire on more than 1 or 2 brain cells.

Just because we're gay and you're a guy, it doesn't mean we find you the least bit attractive or desirable or anyone we would even give a second thought.  Too many straight guys don't know how to take care of themselves and to be honest, many gay guys (maybe not 100% but far more than straight guys) know how to look fabulous.  Most of the time gay guys can tell if you're gay or straight and if you're straight, the attraction level generally goes to zero.  So, straight guys, don't think we're all out there as gay guys drooling and worshiping you like you do to females.

I get so tired of working in the "good ol boy" work places and having comments made about me or within ear distance of hate and ignorance.    It isn't fun to endure and too many, including myself have to go through this all the time.  We tend to hide our personal lives because of this very nature.  I just want to be accepted on my merits,

There are the people in life too that find their ways of "accepting you while praying for your soul that you will change."   You know, love the sinner but hate the sin.  Pardon me, because I need to go puke for a moment after trying to jot these words down.  It happens more than anyone realizes in this world of ignorance and hate.

It isn't a choice because if it was, you think I would go through the humiliation and ridicule and ignorance and hate that this world dishes out.  You think I would endure the physical pain of having my head bashed in for it when I was a kid.  You think I would endure the put downs from everyone in this world from my family to my friends?

I was born this way whether anyone wants to accept that or not.  It took me a long time to come to terms with it and I struggled for a long time after that.  For the first time in my life, I'm beginning to accept who I am and what I am, but that I am so much more than this one small part of me.

When you make innocent comments of hate amongst your friends, in your circles or churches or in the media and comment boards of websites, you're only adding to the breakdown of the world and our society.  You are only adding to the level of hatred that makes it okay for people to go assault gays and murder them.  You are only adding to the countries that think they can lock gays up for life and beat them and stone them to death.

Either you are part of understanding and growth, or you're part of a crowd that is willfully displaying your hatred and ignorance.

Blog Post And Images (c) 10/12/14 by Don Shetterly

  • Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
  • You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  



  1. My Mantra is "God is perfect and so are all his creations".. That means you and I, and everyone. If anyone feels something is wrong with another, maybe they need to ask why they are projecting their own thoughts about their own self to others. Because, when we have something against another, we are just putting our own thoughts on them. Sadly, many people live with blinders, and we have to kindly and gently walk around them. I cannot change others but I can change myself, and personally I find myself perfect and each person whom I am delighted to meet as perfect too. So, be yourself, be proud of you, love all...even if they don't love you. Don't worry about how they think, we cannot join ignorance but only role model a better way. So, blessed be....love yourself, love others...for without others you would not know who you are. Endless love...

    1. I fully realize others are responsible for themselves, but if we see something that needs to be addreessed and we sit by idly and quietly, I believe we are just as much a part of the problem as the person doing these actions. Of course, that doesn't mean we need to go around pointing everything out all the time, but in the situations I'm describing here, many don't think about what they are saying and how it impacts others. That is the point I'm trying to make. What I wrote about has nothing to do with how perfect or not perfect (however one would judge that) others are. The attempt was trying to help wake up those that used to be like I was.