When Life Throws So Much At You

Written By Don Shetterly

I know I am a person with great strength, but right now as I am writing this, it doesn't feel that way.  By the time you read this, hopefully, things will have changed.  I wanted to jot my thoughts down in case others resonated with what I am writing.

In my life, I don't shy away from difficult parts of my healing.  I usually go into them head first when many sometimes do the opposite.  However, with all that has come up and slapped me in the face, I'm seriously reconsidering my philosophy on life.

It has not been easy.  I've wanted to give up a few times.  In many ways, I don't feel like I've got anyone to talk to or ask for help.  It feels like most of the ones I go to, just aren't there this time.  Maybe that's the break to something different.  I don't know.  However, I can tell you it is not an easy place to be in.

During these most recent moments, it has felt like the foundation below my feet dropped out.  At the same time, I've been pushed around by gale force winds that make it hard to regain my footing.  There have been many moments where I questioned, could I even make it through this.  Did I have what it takes?

For me to ask that question means the storms are hitting hard.  I've already been through paralysis and depression, anxiety and suicide.  Not to mention, there was a near-death experience and a complete loss of everything I once knew in life.  I have managed to rise out of the ashes from those experiences, but this moment is taking me to a whole new level.

I'm hunkered down in my cave right now waiting for the storm to subside enough I can step back out into the sunshine.  I'm doing this through spending time alone and writing and creating.  These are the things that I grasp on to when nothing else seems to work.  Nature is also a big part of my comfort and support because nature understands when humans do not.

In many ways, I know and realize that I have made it this far.  In those times of the distant past, I wondered then as well, did I have what it takes?  To realize that my memory was gone and I had to relearn how to walk and do the basics, I can see I made it through those insurmountable odds.

These are the things I carry with me during this time.  They are what keeps me going and stopping me from ultimately giving up.  There have been times recently that I had to really fight to say to my self, "I Know You Can Do This!"

I'm hopeful for easier days.   May the easier moments arrive soon!  I long for a normalness to my day and night.  As I keep reminding myself of words, I share with others, "this too shall pass."

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly

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Some Days I Fly and Some Days I Don't

Life is ever changing.  There are both good and bad moments sometimes leading us where we need to go and other times challenging us for where we need to be.

Some days I fly.

Some days I don't.

Some days I can soar like the eagles and sea gulls, seeing all that is before me and readily knowing what lies ahead.  Sometimes in those moments, even the challenges make sense and I know that I too can rise above the floods overtaking the ground below me.

Some days I don't soar like the birds as the challenges get great.  At times I am faced with insurmountable odds, not knowing where my next foot step goes or what the next movement should be.

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed at the challenges that lie before me.

The one common thing between the days that I fly and the days that I don't, is that no matter what, I have to keep moving.  I can't give up.  I can't stop.  Even if it seems dark before me, I must keep trudging onward because that's the only way I will find the light of illumination for my path.

In the days that I struggle to fly, it isn't easy.  I will not make any claims that it is.  However, I keep reminding myself that no matter what is going on in this moment, this too shall pass.

It will not last.  It will not prevail.

 

There are moments that are meant as challenges to prepare us for future growth ahead.  When those challenges hit, may we all remember that we can fly.  May we see our lives soaring like the birds and not giving up because that moment may be too difficult.

Some days I fly.  Some days I don't.  This is all part of life because even birds in flight stop to rest upon the ground, so they can once again soar through the sky.


#RelaxingPianoMusic

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Holding You Back In Life

I know that I tend to get a lot of anxiety when things change in my life.  The fear, the worry, and the uncertainty really can take its toll on me.  It doesn't matter how many times I've been through things, taught lessons in life and shown that I can make it - I still keep going to the default of holding myself back.

Yes, the fears often overwhelm me.  I know that it is a result of the torture and abuse I went through as a kid until I left for college.  It changes a brain.  It makes normal things in life somewhat difficult.  It can be challenging.

Now, I'm not saying that I accept all of what I've been through and I'm a lost cause.  I'm not saying that I don't think things can improve and change.  I know they have.  I've come a long ways.  However, there's that part that still holds me back in life.

How about you?  Do you have something holding you back in life?  Do you struggle to find the way forward through the fears and anxiety and uncertainty?

I'm able to put fears in perspective...

I know that just by writing about these things, I am able to put the fears in perspective.  It is almost like when I expose them, I knock the wind out of fear's momentum.  No, it isn't easy.  I feel vulnerable at times sharing stuff online.  I do it to help push myself through what holds me back in life.

There have been many challenges lately and sometimes I wonder if I can continue to stand and fight against the odds.  I'm not a quitter though.  I don't give up easily.  If I did, I would not have made it this far.

So, for me, just recognizing what is holding me back in life can often help me put the framework around it so I can see it clearly.  Once I can see it, I can then make new choices in how I deal with it and what I do with it.

We all have things holding us back in life and some we see, others we don't see.  Many times we've conditioned ourselves to just accepting it as a way of life.  However, the more we see clearly in life, the more life gives to us and we participate in with possibility.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Living In A Human Body

I remember an instructor talking about this when I was going through massage school and I think it is still relevant today.  We are humans living in a human body.  While this may sound like a simple thought, it is how we apply it to our daily life that makes it anything but simple.

Living in a human body can be difficult in the best of times and challenging in the worst of the times.  We didn't come with an owners manual telling us how to operate in every situation that we face throughout our lifetimes.  I'm not talking in a religious sense either as some might immediately generalize.

In many ways, it is a good thing that one size doesn't fit all and being human is something we hopefully search for and grow in each day of our life.  Imagine if each of us all had to be alike and for every situation that came up, we were already preprogrammed to respond in the same way.  It would make for a very boring experience in day to day life. 

Living in a human body means...

Living in a human body means that we all have challenges and pains.  We all have physical and mental difficulties that we face.  We all have situations that baffle us and empower us, enlighten us or connect us with ignorance.  Our life and what we experience varies so much from person to person and even though we are the same species, we definitely are not like anyone else.

Being human is a growth response I think to the challenges we face.  It is about learning and discovering and becoming more aware and conscious.  It is about learning how to interact with one another to survive in a brutal and harsh world, rather than limiting ourselves to our own inner circle.  The inner circle of thought and action that aligns with our views and opinions and beliefs.

It is about challenging ourselves...

Living in a human body is about dealing with the nightmares we face or the situations that feel so overwhelming.  It is also about growing and challenging ourselves to not stay in the situation we are in, but overcome it.  It is about challenging ourselves to become more, not succumb to the agony and despair we have endured.

Is it easy to live in a human body?  No, it is not always easy to do this.  Ask anyone and they will tell you what their life experiences have been.  In fact, you might even have your own story to share.  I know I do.

Living in a human body is not about a road map that others have followed, but discovery of everything that makes us who we are and leads us to all we can be.  It is about defying the odds of what everyone thinks should happen so that you can truly find what is possible.  It is about learning to deal with life in this moment as you find your own steps forward into a realm you most likely cannot see in this moment.

One of our greatest experiences...

While living in a human body can be challenging, it can be one of the greatest things we ever experience.  The true choice of that is how we respond and what we allow to happen in our life, even if it feels like we have no say in the choice.  May we all rise to discover and understand more each day what it means to live in a human body.

Here is a blog post from 2015 where I struggled to be living in my own human body called "Can You Mask Exhaustion And Stress".

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Challenges And Difficulties May Prove Useful

We're all on a journey whether we know it or not.  Each one of us I believe is here for a purpose and somehow through our own learning, we impact others around us and the world.

Challenges and difficulties come along and either we grow and become more than we are, or we cower in the corner wish they would stop once and for all.  Sometimes these things get too intense and so we take a break or rest from them.

Some of us have been challenged much more than others, but it doesn't mean we're any better or more evolved or have learned more in life.  Many who have been through extreme challenges have an unique opportunity of seeing life and the world they live in, much differently than most people do.

Regardless of your life's experiences, take a look back to moments gone by.  Do you see how much you grew and those moments helped you become more than you were?  Do you see how these experiences had a silver lining after they were over?

I'm not saying that justifies any experience you may have gone through or it explains it into a pile of rubble.  I'm just saying, if you're in the middle of those difficult moments, try to take a look back at previous times where you have struggled, and see if there are any reminders that can help you weather the current storm of life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 3/2/16 by Don Shetterly

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Falling Down Before You Learn To Walk

I'm writing this to help draw attention to a certain point.  While it is a moment of reminding myself of something, I want to share this.  I share things that impact my life in hopes it touches the life of others.

If anyone has ever watched a baby learning to walk, they fall down a lot.  In many ways, this is how it goes in our life as well each day.

If we stopped every time we felt like we fell down, we would get no where.  Just like a baby that is falling down before they learn to walk, so are we.

I remember hearing that walking was controlled falling.  I like that statement because it shows just how much we have to learn and that we have to get up, brush ourselves off, and continue on in life.

Often our path isn't easy and the journey through life can be full of challenges.  If we want to get to where we know we need to go, than we need to keep walking.

Yes, sometimes we might not be sure of where we are headed or how we are getting there, but the point is, if you don't keep trying, you won't get there.  It isn't about sitting down forever, but learning how to get up and continue the journey.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/6/16 by Don Shetterly

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Emotional Challenges

Some events come along and boy do they ever knock you on your butt.  These emotional challenges aren't easy to deal with in a day.  They run away like a train with no conductor going down a mountainside.

It seems like there have been far too many of these lately.  I struggle to hang on at times.  I struggle to continue on.  The emotional challenges batter me hard.

Yes, I'm strong.  Yes, I have tools and support to help me through them.  It just doesn't stop them from coming and taking over my life.

They are a challenge.  They are exhausting.  I so want them to end.  I so want them to go away and never ever come back again.

I wish upon a star that they are gone.  I recite mantras that they will never appear again.  Yet these emotional challenges just find their way into my life.