These toxic parts and old tapes desire for us to keep everything in place, even if it is the most toxic thing for our lives. These parts have a strong desire to survive even though they may be hurting us at the same time. Deep healing takes us into those moments and it can become a tug-of-war. The trick is allowing it to happen in the way that it is unfolding.
I know I fought it in the beginning and wanted everything fixed now. I was frustrated at times that everything wasn't magically better. However, just like then, I'm still learning what it truly means to surrender into the moment I am at in my life. It is such a part of being human and living the human experience. What healing is trying to do is take us beyond our current moment and when we go beyond that, it begins to change internal things from the inside out.
Sometimes those changes take time...
Sometimes those changes happen overnight. Sometimes those changes take time. It is a process... and the process will continue to unfold as far as we allow it. I go through this too just like many others do. Its not easy to walk into the darkness of the unknown.
One therapist repeated to me many times, the following thought which I found very useful. I know that sounds simplistic, but it is the essence of what all this is about.
When we step into the darkness of the unknown, one of two things will happen. We will either be given wings and taught to fly or we will have something solid to stand on.
The fears are powerful. There is no denying that. I remember one healer talking about "negative pleasures". Even if something is negative or harmful in our life, there is often a part that we are too afraid to give up. We want to hold on to it because that is all we know to do. It was our method of survival when the trauma was taking place. To give it up and find the peace and healing is part of the lesson. It is the part that helps us find out what we need to learn.
I still remember one time that I was struggling with a rash that would not go away. Dr. Canali looked at me and said, "are you ready to let go?" At first, I thought I was, but as I started to get angry and upset, I realized in the session that I was not ready to let go of it. I feared that if I let go, I wouldn't survive. I wouldn't make it. I wouldn't know what was beyond that which I was experiencing. It was all that I knew and as if someone was asking me to cut off my leg or arm. It was a struggle to understand that.
Healing is about learning to let go but it is a process. It is a process that has to unfold and the more we stand in the way of it, the more we hold it back. It is not a race to the finish line, but an awareness of all that we are. Through that awareness and consciousness, we heal and become more than we are today.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
- Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form.
- You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.