Avoidance Is Not Helpful

Written By Don Shetterly

This subject is one I still haven't fully learned.  Maybe it is because it is a human condition that we employ when things get a little too tough.  Avoidance is one of my go-to-coping skills, but when I avoid things, I tend to make them worse.  It was my survival tactic growing up in a world full of trauma and abuse.


Take for example the recent tooth pain that I kept trying to mask and ignore.  I found ways to compensate for it that kept me disconnected from it.  I'm amazed at just how far I went so I didn't have to deal with it.  I avoided it instead, and by doing this, I've probably caused myself a lot more expense.

Avoidance is being employed by almost everyone at record setting paces these days.  Times are tough in life right now.  We are going through horrible moments as a civilization on this planet.  The atmosphere and energy all around are divisive and toxic.  Everywhere you look there is something that is upsetting.  Even if you try to distance yourself from all of it, the feeling of that toxic energy is still prevalent.

We Turn To Things That Distract Us...

To deal with it, we do as I did on the tooth pain.  We turn to things that distract us and keep us from dealing with reality.  We consume things to help give us comfort.  We act all happy and smiles when we're crumbling inside.  We put our attention on anything but the moment that is happening before us because it is just too difficult.

Avoidance can be good in the short term.  It may help you get from one moment to the next so you can deal with the issue.  However, when we continue to avoid the issues that are troubling, we only do harm to our body, mind, and spirit.  We take in the toxic poison as if it is our sustenance, thereby hurting us for years to come.

Avoidance brings us out of consciousness and awareness.  It puts us in the passenger seat instead of being in control of our life.  When we are out of control, the fear and panic and despair set in causing us further long term effects.

During these times of immense stress and toxic poisoning, we owe it to ourselves to reverse the course.  There are things we can do to help alleviate it and take care of ourselves, rather than just giving in to what is happening.

Here are some things that help in moments like this.

• Try spending some time outdoors listening to the birds and feeling the rays of the sun upon your face.  Try feeling the wind or breeze on your skin and just feel every bit of it that you can.  

• Trying focusing on your breathing for 30 seconds or a minute at various times during your day.  Connect and feel your breath.  This does not need to be elaborate and can be very simple. The act of stopping and noticing your breath can be very centering and be grounding in your body.

• Learn to disengage from the toxic conversations occurring online for they are not as helpful as they may seem.  They get the body and mind all revved up as if you are going into battle.  Online conversations do little but fuel the fire and hatred that is so prevalent in our society these days.  If you disengage, you are stating to yourself that you are valuable and worth more.

• Learn to shut off the TV because the news is not enlightening as you may think.  The videos and sounds and opinions stated are meant to engage you into an emotional reaction.  The more you keep your emotions wound up to the max, the less you are connected to your body.  In time, it leads to avoidance of your mind and body.

We all have choices we make.  We may or may not be conscious and aware of them, but we make these decisions every day.  Either we employ avoidance, or we stand up and choose differently what we engage with in a day and all that we take in with each moment we are alive.

You don't' have to hide your head in the sand to what is going on, but a fraction of the toxic poisoning these days is more than enough.  It may help to picture yourself drinking a glass of toxic poisoning each time you engage with what is going on in the world.  However, before long the effects of the poisoning would be felt.

If we want to change the world, we need to stop avoiding life and learn how to give our mind and body a choice of rest and peace, comfort, and love.  We need to choose wisely because if we don't, we will pass the point of no return, and then it will be difficult to find our balance.

What are some ways you avoid difficult things in life?  What do you do to deal with them?  Share your thoughts in a comment below.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Coping With Stress

Ok, here's a question asking for a show of hands.

How many of us know how to effectively cope with stress?

I see a few hands go up, but for the most part many are avoiding eye contact with me.  I know... I know...  it isn't always easy coping with stress.

For most of us, we weren't taught how to cope with stress that well.  Our dearly beloved parents often didn't know how to cope with stress in their own lives and that's what they taught us.  It isn't that we should blame them for anything because they did the best with what they had (ok, maybe not all parents did the best, but I'm sure some did).

All too often, we deal with stress by acting as if it is not there.  We avoid it, numb it and disconnect from it.  We look at anyone who acknowledges it with raised eye brows as if they are doing something wrong in life.

We keep ourselves so busy...

Sometimes we keep ourselves so busy that we don't have to acknowledge its presence in our lives.  Sometimes we have a few extra numbing and mind altering substances just so we can continue on separating ourselves from what is going on.

Some of us do very well at shoving it deep down inside of us so we just don't have to look at it.  Humans are pretty good at that.  Yeah, there are days when we need to do that, but so often we forget to flip the switch back the other way and deal with the stress.

Often we avoid and disconnect and numb stress in such an unconscious way that we're oblivious to its effects upon our body ... and our mind.  It is there, but we're in such a busy mode and disconnected mode that we don't see it.

When I've gone into some deep healing moments on the table, one of the first things we do is observe what is there in that moment - what we feel in our body.  There are many times that I don't feel anything until I stop and start to ask the question and notice it.  Then, it intensifies and that is the launching pad for the deep healing work.

Numbing and disconnecting...

Regardless of how you deal with stress, coping with it by numbing and disconnecting is not the best way.  It may be necessary in the moment, but if this continues, it starts to have major impacts on the different systems in the body.  It opens the door for illness and dis-ease.

Learning to be aware of its presence and learning to cope with stress is key to finding a more happier and healthier life.  It may not happen all at once and some of us may require much more difficulty to learning how to do this, but you mind and body will thank you.

If you do nothing and just let it build, at some point it will try to get your attention.  The daily buildup of stress can be just as harmful as traumatic experiences.  Trust me - and I share this from my own personal life - you don't want to go down the road of letting it build and not finding a way to let it go.

Coping with stress is about letting go, but doing so on a daily basis.  We have to find ways to stop and "smell the roses" or life will takeover and we'll be left wishing we had.  There are simple ways and more profound ways to cope with stress, but it all starts by stopping and observing and feeling in  your body.

After that, your body and  your mind will guide the way if you allow them.  They will show you things that you may not have realized, but it all starts with observing and feeling the stress within your body.

I leave you with this question - what will you do today in learning to cope with stress and letting go?  How will you allow yourself to feel it in your body, so you can let it go from the cellular level?

#stress

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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