How Do You See The World

by Don Shetterly

For many, experiences through life color the lenses in which they see everything around them.  No matter what they attempt to lead others to believe, these experiences alter so much of how we view the world.  We may not realize that we do this, but others can often see it in us.

I constantly see how people want things to remain as when they had a "safer" moment in life.  Maybe it was before something happened or while some traumatic and toxic stress moment was taking place.  These things become the norm against how we measure everything in life.

In one recent example, an individual wanted a TV program to come back because it represented a good time in their life.  They saw everything else as dark, gloomy, horrible and in despair.  Instead of them seeing the good in life that occurs each day, all they could focus on is the bad.

No, I'm not trying to convince anyone that all is good and we're living in the greatest times.  Often, the challenges we face in a day are rather difficult and mind-blowing.  We have screaming and gnashing of teeth with people picking a side in how they view things.  No one sees each other as human these days, only adversaries or friends.

Maybe the problem isn't the world and everyone else in it as it is how we view things.  If we see only the bad in those that don't match up to what we believe life should be, how can we see the good?  It might be more in what we do and present to the world than it is what others do.

I personally believe that each one of us has the power to effect great things or bad things in the world.  It is all in how we see the world and the way in which we react.  If we join the chorus of the masses in trying to pick a side, most likely we're going to see nothing good.

Instead, if we focus on how we can love ALL people and be there arm-in-arm with others, there's a good chance that things will get better.  It will improve not only our outlook on life but the world-at-large.

So, how do you see the world?  Do you see good or bad?  Do you see a friend or adversary?  If you do, what can YOU do to change this at the moment right now?  That is the question I will leave for you to ponder.

Diaries and Memories Both Good And Bad

(Written by Jeff Lemlich)

I did a very smart thing, back when I was 11 years old.   I also did something kind of stupid.   I started keeping a diary.

That was smart, because thousands of memories from my past are now at my fingertips.

That was stupid, for the same reason.

Just the other day I couldn’t remember the name of one of my teachers, and reached for my 1975 journal, hoping her name was on one of the pages.   Thankfully, it was, putting an end to something that was starting to drive me bonkers.  That’s when having my life story written in ancient Flair pens really made me happy… but at the same time, I glanced at some of the other things I had written in that journal.

Ugh – was that really me?   How could I have had so many prejudices?   Did I really think I was smarter than everyone else?  How could I have had so little empathy?

I struggle to forgive the child that I used to be, and those journal entries make me cringe even more.   Yet I realize where those prejudices and the lack of empathy stemmed from.    Years of being put down and bullied made me think my being “different” made me a freak, so it was natural that I’d try to see others as the freaks.  Sometimes I put my pain into words, and other times I just buried it deep, deep, deep down inside.  It’s the sort of thing that I’d love to forget, but again, there it is on paper… reminding me of the crap that I went through, and the crap that it put into my head.

That isn’t the only drawback to journaling.   If I’m angry at someone or something, I should put it in my journal, right?  Well, what will happen 10, 15, 20 years later, if someone I know comes across it and reads it?   Wouldn’t that just reopen old wounds that have healed eons ago?    Is it better to cross out the bad parts and just try to remember the good, or would doing so further skew the truth and present a warped and maybe even dangerous view of how things were?

Despite all this, I am grateful to have noted so many places, people, and events.   I have a linear memory, and can tell you the date when almost anything in my life happened.   The more I read my journals, the more I remember… but are things really supposed to be that way?   Aren’t we supposed to live and learn, and forgive and forget?

 
I don’t have the answer.  I just know that my old journals – despite the bad memories – are precious to me.   I hate forgetting things, even the things that would best be obliterated from my mind.    It beats racking my brain trying to remember things, such as the name of that long-forgotten teacher from my past.  

Memories are very important to me, and I love helping others remember names, dates, and songs (especially songs).   I can write a lot more about that if you liked this guest blog post.    Leave a comment if you’d like to read more, and if the response is good, I just might make it happen.

- Jeff (SavageLost.com)

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Jeff Lemlich

Author
Guest Blogger
Avid Vinyl Record Collector
Male Survivor of Child Abuse

Visit Jeff's website at

SavageLost.com

  

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Remember The Good In Mental Health Struggle

Sometimes the simple things become difficult things in healing.  One of the difficulties I've found in struggling with mental health issues is remembering the good.  It is easy for my mind to shift into negative mode and forget all the good stuff.

Even if I remember the good, the mental heath struggles that I face can render them invisible to my consciousness.  Sometimes I could be reminded a million times and I'd still forget the good parts of life. 

It does help for someone to keep reminding me. I'm sure they probably get to the point of frustration, but that's the way things work at times.

I'm sure I'm not alone either because mental health issues tend to change the brain chemistry and make it difficult to process and access things that others normally could.  I'm not saying it is permanently that way, but often it presents challenges to the mind in physical ways.

When I was paralyzed, my memory went.  Basic things were difficult to remember.  Remembering the good was definitely a struggle because the horrible moments I was facing tended to crowd the good stuff out.  Even now, after many years of healing work, sometimes the horrors still try to overtake the memory screen of my mind.

Good in with the bad memories...

For me though, if I remember something good that happened to me while growing up, there are other horrible events that happened within those good moments.  So, my mind really struggles to separate the two out and sometimes it takes more processor power than I can muster up in those moments.

It took me awhile to really get some of my memory back online and I still struggle with it today.  However, it is getting better and often times I can remember those good times in my past, while not letting the bad times take over.

Memes and happy thought sayings don't do much for me.  In fact, they just turn my mind into a mess, more than they help.  I know people think these are great and if they help, then I am happy that they do for you.  For me, it is just another avoidance that gets in my way.

It does help though when I have people close to me that share and remind me of the good moments during the mental health struggle moments.  They are authentic and not just trying to fill the void with words, so it helps.  They do it out of compassion and from the heart, not just as a way of making up for their own loss and struggles in life.

No matter what you've been through in life, there are good moments.  They may be buried in the rubbish of what remains, but they are there.  Sometimes we have to look a little harder for them. 

Try to focus on those little moments as much as you can and cling to those when the footpath feels like it is crumbling below your feet.  Sometimes, holding on to those little things, no matter how small they may be, helps you hang on just long enough to find your footing.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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A Little Boy Afraid Of Power

Years ago in a little village in another world, there was a little boy that was over powered by all the leaders of the village.  Even if they demanded that various atrocities be done, the little boy had no way to stop them.  He wanted to alert everyone and the world outside the village, but everyone was too afraid.

As the days went by, the little boy had no choice but to do what the big leaders of his village told him to do and demanded of him.  He had no way to stop it.  He had no way to fight back or change it.  The only thing he could do was try to endure it.

Now, to this day, the little boy still struggles with power.  He is afraid of it.  He is afraid of what others do with their powers and sees this play out every day of his life.  He is even afraid of what would happen if he was powerful.  It is just easier at times for the little boy to endure the struggle as he did since he was a small boy.

Everyone tries to tell the little boy that he is able to rise above those that would use their power to harm.  Everyone tries to tell the little boy that even if he had powers, he would not do the same as the harmful leaders did to him.  He has learned from the past and now he would know what to do with his powers.

Unfortunately, the only world the little boy knows is that power hurts others and it is extremely hard for him to see things differently.  He continues to try and let go of the past, but images of yesterday seem to be as real as if the events were happening today.

The little boy hopes that in the future, power will be used for something good, not to harm others or tear others apart.  He hopes that he will learn that using power in the right way is beneficial for all, not necessarily something that harms, frightens, and silences other people.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/6/16 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Don't Get Rid Of Negative People And Things

I see way too much imbalance these days in social media and new age groups.  Everyone thinks that you should get rid of negative people and things in your life.  Every time I see or read that, I cringe.  My hair stands on end and I shutter at the thoughts these people are passing on to others.

We can't always have rainbows every day because a rainbow means the storm clouds have just passed.  In order to see the rainbows, we need to feel the storms and the rain.  It takes the rough parts to see the beautiful parts.  Unfortunately what too many are claiming as "truth" is that they can have the rainbows without the storms.

If you get rid of the negative stuff, you're really just numbing yourself out in life.  It is that plain and simple.  Without the negative and rough and bad stuff, you're only living half a life.  Part of life is pain and the other part is learning from the pain.  Okay, I realize I just simplified things too much, but that's the jest of the issue I'm raising.

Sometimes Bad Things Are Good

Often we get upset when things don't go our way or when some event happens that is not what we wanted.  Sometimes bad things that happen are good.  I've seen this over and over in my life, but i used to look at it as if I was missing out.

In the recent airplane crash, it was stated that 15 people didn't make the plane because of things happening to them that weren't good moments.  The people could have sat there and complained and asked "why me" and wallowed in the moment.  Maybe they did.  However, I'm sure after realizing that if they would have been on that plane, they would not have to worry about the situation they are in.  Please realize that I'm not making light of what happened in this airplane crash because I'm well aware of the outcome and pain for many others.  My condolences go out to anyone affected by this tragedy.

A Thought To Ponder

Why is it that we can more readily see the good and the potential in someone else than we can see in our own selves? It is something to ponder.