Sometimes Bad Things Are Good

Often we get upset when things don't go our way or when some event happens that is not what we wanted.  Sometimes bad things that happen are good.  I've seen this over and over in my life, but i used to look at it as if I was missing out.

In the recent airplane crash, it was stated that 15 people didn't make the plane because of things happening to them that weren't good moments.  The people could have sat there and complained and asked "why me" and wallowed in the moment.  Maybe they did.  However, I'm sure after realizing that if they would have been on that plane, they would not have to worry about the situation they are in.  Please realize that I'm not making light of what happened in this airplane crash because I'm well aware of the outcome and pain for many others.  My condolences go out to anyone affected by this tragedy.

Pushing Beyond The Fears - Part Two

This is Part 2 in a 2 part series.  Please begin by reading Part 1.

I was so miserable inside and I felt my life longing to be more than I was. There was something inside of me that kept pushing me forward. It kept pushing me beyond my fears. So, then it happened! I decided to help out Duplin Outdoor Drama, selling tickets. Okay, it wasn’t anything earth shattering. Millions of people could have done that, but to me it was still hiding behind a table handling cash, but taking a major baby step to go beyond my four walls. It was a slow emergence out into the world, but all the time hiding behind a barrier (aka the table that separated me from the people wanting to buy tickets to the show.) Soon, I was taking on more and more responsibilities, from helping to line up workers to manage the ticket tables, to making the deposits into the bank after the show. In time, I would be elected to the board of directors and help run the organization, along with other volunteers.

Maybe this doesn’t sound like something earth shattering and in many ways it is not. Yet, by putting myself out there into something I would normally have never done in a million years, I began to heal myself from this fear. In fact, I began to make some close friends and when I had to leave there a year later to catch another journey in my life, I was saddened by the thought of leaving this place. Only a year earlier, I had been so afraid to venture out into this world.

Pushing Beyond The Fears - Part One

In a not so distant time, I remember being so afraid to leave the walls of my house. Of course, it was just another fear that I had to deal with. While this particular fear has a shape and size to it, what I did to go beyond translates into many other types of fears. For in this moment that I experienced this, I was so afraid to move beyond the current situation I was in. Pushing beyond the fears was anything but a comforting thought in my mind.

You see, I was afraid to leave the house. If I was not going to my house or to the store to buy groceries, I did not leave my four walls. It was only out of necessity that I left the walls I was in. I felt safe and secure in my home with the windows closed, blinds drawn, and doors locked. I felt safe within the confines of my home where I was hidden from the outside world. I did not want visitors and I encouraged no one. I had very few close friends that were not work related and I only socialized with them when it was required during the course of a business day.

People were a threat. The outside world was a threat. Pushing beyond the fears of my four walls was like asking me to swim across the Atlantic Ocean. This was not going to happen. Anxiety would build up within me every time I even gave the slightest thought to venturing outside. Even if I went to the store, it was timed to be during moments of the day when I thought there would be the fewest people in the store. I did not want to see, talk, or be around any more people than I absolutely needed to.

The Fear Of The Climb

Yesterday, I went to the Ponce Inlet Lighthouse and climbed to the top. It was 203 steps up a winding staircase. As I started to climb, I thought this is not too difficult. Of course, if I looked down the center of the stairwell, my pulse rate increased! I got a lump in my throat seeing how high I had climbed.

As we neared the top, my legs began to get tired and my knee was hurting. At one point, I wondered if I could make it all the way to the top. My motivation to reach the top was that I really wanted to make it and I didn't come to see the lighthouse just to observe the outside structure.

Finally making it to the top, I stepped outside on to the platform. The strong breeze hit my face, while I could see for many miles. From the shoreline of Daytona Beach to the Atlantic Ocean before me and New Smyrna Beach to the south, the view was spectacular. It was out of this world! At 175 feet, it felt as I was above it all.

My eyes fixated on the ground which was now a distance from me and I grew anxious and scared. While I was safe on this ledge, my eyes and mind saw fear. I had to steady myself, acknowledge the fear as I allowed myself to be there on the ledge. It was not easy because there was a part of me that was scared to death.

I kept telling myself that I was safe and that these fears were unfounded in truth. While the anxiety remained somewhat high, I convinced my mind that I could do this. I changed my thoughts and allowed myself to enjoy the view.

So, even though the fears wanted to get the best of me and they looked as real as they could, I knew that if I put them in perspective, I had the ability to view things differently. While I do not deny the possibility that something could have gone wrong, it did not. Most of the anxiety I was experiencing was based in fear, not reality.

Often, our fears are bigger than they actually are. In the moment, it is hard to convince our self that this is not the case. If we stop though and look at the bigger picture, we'll quickly see how the fears are much smaller and more afraid of us than we may realize.


(Above Picture taken at the lighthouse at Ponce Inlet, FL - (c) 09/14/10)

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